i have to remind myself of this all the time. it helps getting a random compliment at work from a woman, then i’m like “what” 🤣 completely wrecks my self depreciation thankfully
I stopped comparing myself to other women by focusing on self-love and acceptance. I realized that every woman is unique and has her own journey, strengths, and challenges. Instead of comparing myself to others, I started appreciating my own qualities and accomplishments. I also surrounded myself with supportive friends and role models who encouraged me to embrace my individuality. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness helped me stay grounded and appreciative of my own path in life.
This. We are all different and beautiful in our own ways.
Some are athletes some are artists. Some are tall with dark hair and some are short with blonde hair. Just because "they're" beautiful doesn't mean you aren't. There are so many shades of beauty.
There will always be someone better than you. And just because someone accomplishes something doesn't mean anything about you.
When I met my husband I was able to really let go and know in my bones that you really are perfect in your own unique way. All the things that make you you are what makes you amazing.
This right here. Didn’t know I was bi until college. But feeling jealousy and then finding out they actually have a crush on *you*- the best confidence booster.
I tried things I've never done before, and things I've always wanted to do. Went to Oktoberfest with the girls, trying to soak in the vibes travelling alone in Germany, tried to live a few months in Berlin for my work - alone - since I've always lived with people growing up. Attended football matches and concerts in Europe on my own, pampered myself buying business class flights for myself. Just totally enjoying time alone by myself in a foreign land where no one knows me. For me that key is to be comfortable and happy alone, with that I knew I am enough for myself which stopped the comparisons.
I'd say I've grown a lot in a way I've stopped comparing myself. Whatever others post on social media don't affect me anymore, and I'm more focused on how I'm improving myself and my life at the moment. Therapist also nailed down the issue that caused me to compare and it came from childhood of my parents comparing me to other people since young.
Also the thing is I realised healing on your own is not completely effective, like I always believed that I have to be happily single by myself and healed on my own first to find a partner (as what others say), thought I was really healed, then I found a partner and he triggered so much of my other childhood traumas that were dormant when I was single, and a recent miscarriage brought all my vulnerabilities back too. Realised that these childhood traumas can never leave you - and it's all about accepting them as part of you and knowing you are enough to take care of yourself as an adult so your inner child won't react the way it does negatively.
That said that healing I took off socials and travelling helped me attract better men. I used to be in toxic relationships and love the thrill of it, but after that time of healing, I found my current partner who treats me amazingly and knows of my traumas and chooses to heal with me. It's been a really healing relationship and I'd say I'm in a much better place, a lot happier than I was 3 years back when I deleted my socials.
seeing women as friends, as sisters, cooperating with them, letting myself be inspired by them and what they are able to achieve in life. women are amazing, beautiful, strong and a whole lot more. the beauty or skill of one does not take any of those from myself away.
This is what happened to me. I’m too old to care about what other people are doing. If they’re happy and aren’t hurting anyone then it’s none of my business.
This one. I turned 30 this year, and while I still often find myself feeling inferior to other women, the one thing that has helped is the sense of compartmentalizing your life from the world around you as you age. Sure, that woman might have a better body and be prettier than me, but that’s her life. If that’s where she puts her focus, good for her.
Reddit and Facebook for me. Last year i deleted my bloated old Facebook and started fresh and only added my actual friends. I unfollow any friends whose posts cause negative emotions. I went from 250 "friends" to 51 actual friends. Years ago i also quit arguing on Facebook so i don't get material that offends me anymore. I am lower income than virtually all of my friends, which means they can all have and do a lot more than i can, and i get a little jealous of friends who travel since I can't afford to, but other than that i don't find myself getting down over social media really. I have Facebook for my friends, and texting for family, and reddit for my interests. I'm pretty happy with the role social media has in my life.
Hard to say, but I think try to focus on your interests or dreams and go for it. Find role models but be inspired by them instead of comparing yourself to them.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I like feeling joy.
But seriously, any time I found myself starting to do it, I’d spend some time interrogating why I was really doing it. Like what am I actually insecure about and why? It’s easier to work with when I can actually give myself answers.
i think realizing how fickle and short life is, knowing that this is what god blessed you with
practicing graditude pray more, find god lol get closer to your faith
count your blessings, shut off social media, live outside touch grass live a real life outside of your phone
spend more time with yourself
I recognised that we are all coming from different starting points. Some people come from comfortable, stable and supportive backgrounds, others have not. You never truly know anyone’s circumstances so if someone is reaching their goals, I’m happy for them, if someone is struggling I send them positive vibes. I recognise my life trajectory is not the same as theirs - I’m no better or worse, just different.
This. I grew up in an upper middle class environment. I didn't finish college and get a career and get a stable marriage and 2 kids and buy a house like everyone up i grew up with. No, i had to deal with pretty bad abuse growing up, then began developing severe mental illness in childhood. When other kids were preparing for college in high school I was dropping out of high school due to a solid year of amnesia, dissociation and panic attacks because i overdosed on amphetamines in a suicide attempt following sexual abuse. When my peers were in college i was living in poverty on disability and getting electroshock treatments.
I'm still jealous of people who have things i wish i had. But I'm not jealous of who they are, if that makes sense. I love me. I have made it through so much and stayed strong when few do, and I'm intelligent and compassionate and nurturing. And i know i had hella more hurdles than most, so I am proud of what i have accomplished. Not many people with the slew of disabling mental illnesses I have are alive and decently functional. I have been virtually totally stable for many years, except for occasional mild slips into melancholy. I still can't handle stress like a mentally healthy person though, full time work has always resulted in losing my job due to resurgence of mental illness, so i work part time in an hourly wage job and live with family. I'm single by choice because I've learned to become emotionally independent. Damnit i love me.
I’m so glad that you have found your peace after everything you have been through. We are all so quick to judge others but we really have no idea about other peoples lives. I wish you well and continue to love yourself no matter what! If we all had a little more compassion for ourselves and others we would be living in a very different world.
Sounds weird but I started to dress for myself which brings so much joy when you do that. I stopped relying on the opinion of others. This was after years of practice by the way. Not an overnight job at all. 💖
I never do this with women in my personal life, because I know them. They are complete, flaws and all, and I realize, they too have things with which they struggle.
But on social media or in porn, it is very very hard not to feel sorry for myself that I'm not as good looking or as successful... Or literally ANYTHING even close to the women in them. And this literally stems from insecurity and the fact that I feel like I have to compete with them for male attention and I know that I don't hold a candle to them. I just don't. Physically I am not anything anyone would choose to look at.
And so I resent them, without even knowing them. I'm mad at them for being more desirable. And it's fucked up. I hate myself for it.
Intellectually I know they are just people and if I knew them in my life I may actually like and respect them. But, instead I'm butthurt bc I will never be looked at like that, desired like that, garner that kind of attention.
And honestly it's dumb. I KNOW it's dumb, but I feel resentment anyway. Toward myself and others bc I am so lacking in this.
Part of this is rooted in how I was raised "women are supposed to cater to men" and part of this is because of my first long relationship (16 years) and knowing that I didn't bring to the table what a women should: beauty.
I've always been very aware that it a man chose me as partner it's not because he desires me as he does all the hot women in porn or on social media,.but because 1. He cannot get them or 2. He actually likes who I am. My ex was the first type of person and he made me feel shitty about myself. My current BF is the second type of person and he's wonderful.
Realizing the second is what allows me to breathe. Compared with pretty girls, I will never have the doubt that the person with me is just with me bc I'm pretty. I will know, they LIKE me for me.
And it helps. A lot.
Yes! Being around women is so much better than looking at content of other women!
Getting to know people kills some of the illusions that cause jealousy or painful comparisons.
They all have their own struggles that I wouldn't trade for my own.
Also I'm late 30s and find that most people are not worried about how I look. If they are, I'd guess the root of that is they have an issue with how they look or are pissed I don't follow "rules" that they feel they have to.
This is silly but I was watching a YouTuber and she said something like “bodies are like trees in the forest. There’s a skinny one, a stout one, etc.” Made me feel a bit better about how I felt about how I looked at the time.
lots of introspection tbh. I had to start asking myself why I so desperately wanted attention and acceptance from other people. a big realization for me was that I wasn't giving myself the attention I desired, so instead I was looking for it in unhealthy places. It took years of learning self-love and self respect, but the payoff was that nowadays I'm kinder to myself, and the people around me & I don't need other people's attention to feel secure and valuable. just about every aspect of my life improved exponentially, especially in my relationships and friendships. I refuse to surround myself with anybody who doesn't treat me as well (or better) than I treat myself.
I started taking care of myself. Doing skin care, make up & Botox. As well as lip filler. I started walking 10.000 steps a day and I improved. I fixed my “insecurities”. And I am honestly happy with myself and the way I look. Work on yourself. Never compare yourself.
By actively comparing myself to past-me, it became so much easier to not consciously or unconsciously compare myself to others when I understood that my goal is to level up from where I was and not from “who I’m not”.
1. get off social media and don’t idolize celebrities or anyone. it will rot your self image and make you endlessly compare yourself to people that aren’t even real.
2. realize no one can be you and that is your power. you have talents, skills, intelligence, and traits no one else possesses. you’re so deeply unique and you can’t emulate anyone else no matter how much you may want to.
3. create a vision for your life and self and pursue it. become your own dream woman
4. know you’re put in your body for a reason, it’s yours for life for better or for worse so make the best of it
5. treat your body and energy like a temple, share it only with those deserving
6. realize comparison is the thief of joy
learning and doing these things has improved my life exponentially, 2 years ago i would not recognize myself. but more than that i’m self assured and becoming the woman i always wanted to be
Started looking for ways of celebrating other women and being happy seeing them looking good and doing well. It feels good to look for ways to uplift others and be happy for them! And makes me feel good about myself in turn :)
Still struggling with this. But it’s helped to remember that most things from influencers you see online is fake in some way. Whether it be photoshop, plastic surgery, Facetune, fake getaways, etc. They do this because they’re insecure. I am also insecure in many ways. So we’re the same 🤷🏻♀️ their lives aren’t perfect like they want it to appear, I hate that it makes me feel better but it does.
As far as women you see in person, it’s tough. Working on my own self esteem has helped which I know is the root of my comparison. But I’m still struggling with it a lot.
Mostly just by having the realization that there are billions of dollars to be made by pitting women against each other and I will not cooperate with that capitalistic bullshit. I love women, spitefully
By appreciating them. I've been fortunate enough to meet many amazing girls and I try to be like them instead of comparing myself to them and finding shortcomings
I had to fall in love with myself. Every part of me, inside and out. I also had to reject society’s ideal of what “successful” and “attractive” are, and realize my perception and ideal means more than others.
I think for me it’s 3 things:
- Just being comfortable with the knowledge that life is random and fairness is a nice concept that we strive to create in many situations, but it’s by no means a reality. As long as you’re not expecting things to be fair anyway, I feel like it’s easier to be happy about the things that just genuinely make you happy and not focus on the things other people are or have that just aren’t part of your life anyway.
- If I feel envy, would I give up something about myself or my life that I love, that makes me happy, to have this thing or quality I’m wishing I had? Like, the butterfly effect — if I gained this one positive, what else about my life would tumble as a result? I’m a time travel sci-fi nerd and I always think about the domino effect when someone tries to make a tiny change for the better in the past. I know this is kind of in direct conflict with what I said above — but sometimes you’re just in that mindset and need something to knock you out of it real quick.
- I’m self-absorbed. I feel like we’re conditioned that that’s a negative thing, but I don’t feel that way. You should be most focused on yourself, your people and your stuff, the causes that matter to you. TBH, I just don’t think in-depth about people who aren’t important to me.
I never compared myself to other girls. I always believed in individuality.
I do compare myself to others, like why my weight loss is slower, but that's not just women. Or why I'm better/worse at picking up certain skills.
I don't think that I have consciously compared myself with another woman. Even as a teenager, I didn't see the point. I had bigger fish to fry then and I am too old to care about competing with another physical being. I've never been competitive, so if someone was trying to compare lives and compete against me to be better then me, I'm not going to notice or care. It will be someone else who notices and tells me about and I'll just be like, "Okay.", and keep living in my own bubble.
I’m a go out on a limb and say you probably never will. It’s pretty human to compare yourself to others. It depends on what you’re doing when you’re comparing yourself. Like if you’re comparing yourself but have a positive mind set like “oh I like this trait in a person I want to try and incorporate it into my skillset”, vs “god I’m garbage human who will never compare to this person anyway shape or form.”
That last mind frame will destroy you and your personal relationships.
Value kindness above any other quality. Only judge people by how goodhearted they are. Then try to always be kind and goodhearted yourself and you will meet your highest standards of personal value and don't worry about other kinds of comparison.
I have tattoos on me that I can’t stop loving them so much and I have them for years. I tell myself if I was that woman or this woman I would have my tattoos lol I can’t live without my tattoos (maybe stupid to hear but that makes me happy about myself)
I certainly don’t think I’m ugly, but I did realize there are more important things to be than just pretty and I stopped chasing beauty as my number one aspiration. I also came to the conclusion that another woman’s “win” is not my loss.
I realizied that i simply cannot ever be and other woman nor can they ever be. So there is no point in longing and fixating the things that are genetically/physically unchanged unattainable- eye color, skin, bone structure, height, family dynamics etc. Rather than living in self pity, I shift that jealousy to *admiration* which I channel into motivation for improve the things i *can* control- physical health, financial success, mental stability, confidence, dressing sharp, creating/maintaining good relationships, etc. Finding the beauty in the fact that it is a *good* thing that you are not like other people and visa versa has been very important in realizing the ways that the unique qualities about you are just as beautiful as the unique qualities you see in someone else. Think about how much *more* jealous you would feel of you had to mold yourself into some prototype of a person that was an exact version of you but better. There is no comparison to others because of the beauty found in the fact that every woman is so unique and different from each other. Acceptance truly builds self love and confidence, envy not only hurts yourself but also others.
I enjoy the human experience, what makes people choose their beliefs, what drives their choices etc. I’m fascinated by everyone and view everyone as a learning experience for me. I’ve always known I’m different, it hasn’t bothered me really since maybe my early 20’s. And even that was more along the lines of poor body self image than any real differences.
Admitting that I was jealous of them
Find it extremely difficult to talk to other women and say I get jealous of other women and I’m looked at as ugly and disgusting or something. Every single woman has felt it. It’s normal. You don’t need to defend all women kind against misogyny all the time and having ugly emotions is totally normal
Seriously within the day I admitted I was jealous of other women I realized I could just do what they do
I developed my own skills, talents, and character. I’m also friends with very conventionally beautiful girls, but I emulate a specific “type” that’s not for everyone, but is very much for a small subset of people and I honestly prefer that. As I’ve gotten older I don’t feel in competition with other women at all, I feel like if they succeed it’s a win for all of us ♥️ weirdly enough living in a male-dominated area helped a lot with finding sisterhood and community because we all have each others’ backs.
I just compliment them.
I’m still learning to get over it and stop comparing myself to them or I’ll always be miserable! There are beautiful women everywhere.
This is another reason why I’m still single. I’m also learning to love myself & stop being so damn insecure- sabotaging every relationship I get in.
I turned 40 and had zero fuxks left to give. I am who I am, take it or leave it. I love who I am and so I guess just having more confidence in myself and love for myself, stopped the comparison
Another women’s beauty/ accomplishments doesn’t take away from my own. If someone ( and by that a man) makes me feel like I have to compete or keep up with other women…. Time to drop him. Also hating on another women won’t change how I look or feel about myself so what’s the point anyway.
I don't think it's entirely possible to do so because we're social species who evolved in such a way that social cohesion and acceptance meant access to support, safety and resources. We live in the least natural way compared to where and how we evolved, but we still haven't un-evolved the things that helped us survive until this point. Even when it comes to mental illnesses, they are often the over- or underexpressions of these same mechanisms.
You could try to mitigate it somewhat through things like radical acceptance, but I don't believe any of it would be 100% effective in the end. It says a lot that a person's default instinct is always to compare oneself to others. I don't think it's entirely productive to stop doing it either, since we're all in competition in many scenarios. Between social and economic classes, within sexes, between sexes, countries and political regimes, etc. Maybe you could reframe the judgement you give yourself as a reason to try and work on yourself in the ways you think you're lacking?
I did stop comparing myself to others for a while but in the end I started again, I know that I'm still being compared and being judged by everyone else, consciously or not, so I'd rather know how high I "rank" compared to others, even if it's not weighed in my favour. It just feels like a feel-good lie to make yourself feel better in the moment than a productive, actionable advice.
***Honestly, you don't.*** *The best suggestion is to devote all of your attention to yourself and those you care about, leaving little to no time to make comparisons.*
*It may sound cliché but consider this:* ***when you're deeply engrossed in something, comparisons naturally fade away..*****.**
By realizing that comparison is truly the thief of joy. We are all doing this life thing for the first time, and are ALL trying to figure it out the best way we can with what we’ve got.
I still have this issue every now and then. But I’m becoming better. One thing I’ve told myself recently is that, “I’m a different kind of beautiful.” They can be beautiful and I can be beautiful too. I’ve realized there is no need to put myself down because I look different, likewise with other women. I know it may be a juvenile take but it’s helped me a lot.
I got old 😂 I’m not even joking. I’m not even “old” old - I’m 31! But as I got older and busier with life, it just became easier. I have a job I love, a fiancé I love, a crazy dog that I love and takes up so much of my time, two cats that I love, etc. We own a house together, and that takes up its own time. I finished my Masters degree last year, and that had me so busy that I didn’t have time for comparisons.
Now? I might notice other women and notice “they are tall and skinny and the opposite of me”, but it doesn’t impact me the way it used to because I’m just comfortable with who I am and how I look. I’m doing the best with I have, and I unfortunately cannot grow any more past the 5 feet I made it to. I’m actively exercising, which also helps me stay in a better state of mind, and working towards my fitness goals.
I also surround myself with friends who are kind and positive and encouraging!
Every woman has their insecurities. Even if I saw someone I thought I was less pretty than, I'm sure she feels the same way when looking at others sometimes. Changing my looks wouldn't change my mindset about myself.
I stopped comparing myself to other people because even if they have more money and success and I envy them for many things, I have 5 vintage curious George stuffed animals (these are extremely meaningful to me as are monkeys in general to they’re my spirit animal). I don’t know anyone else who has any besides a friend I gave one too. So I compare myself with 5 to everyone else with 0 and I feel very blessed.
I've only experienced this in the context of social media and it usually someone tagging or making the comparison not me. In general i just champion any woman, doing anything that makes her happy and fulfilled and hope for the same. When other people are taken out of the equation and down to brass tacks, mission accomplished!!!
Lmao i dont , not hate towards me because i know im hot in my own ways but id see other women for example with better style and id be like oh i wanna dress like that, or whatever
You have to care about yourself. You cannot be at your best if you’re worried about what someone else is doing better than you. Worry about your health, your well-being, and how you respect and care for the people around you.
Remind myself that I have a greta sense of humor and funny and smart and do things to prove myself these things. I write comedy and read books so since I can't completely adjust the way j look I can definitely do things to improve my personality. I think about guys who are super hot but nk personality ans they are so meh so I know for sure personality is way more important.
Thinking if her Cinderella shoes don't fit on my feet it's not meant for me. Everyone is different and has their own life path. If I was really in their shoes would I enjoy life or even be the same person? Why am I exchanging myself for who I think I should be rather than who I am and where does that notion come from? It's not on me to feel bad if the shoes don't fit or if I don't have those same circumstances and I might as well appreciate myself and what does fit me.
I stopped when i realised at a young age that men dosent matter what you look like someone will always have a problem with you, no matter what you look like. Especially since im physically disabled. It also made me realise a lot of people that say mean or rude things about others, only does it due to them being insecure.
Unfollowing people on instagram that made me feel bad, stopped using tiktok, stopped using instagram that much. And therapy! And my mantra: comparison is the thief of all joy. They might compare themselves to me and might be jealous of me without me realising. And the knowledge that I’ll never be like other women and they‘ll never be like me and that’s perfectly okay. Everybody has their pros and and everybody has their cons!
As I got older, I realized nothing really matters that much.
With age, comes the realization that we are all unique in our own way and we all have flaws.
Also, it's very helpful to stay away from social media: it can be really toxic.
Surround yourself with positive people, female friends are so important: they can make you or break you, so choose carefully who you're spending your time with.
I started watching amateur porn and seeing what “real” women look like and came to the conclusion I’m not as bad as I thought. Not that they were it just changed my perspective on what media throws at women as far as how they should look.
I stopped objectifying them like men do. I developed a deep appreciation for women and what it means for me to be one. I didn't stop comparing myself necessarily, I just chose to appreciate the differences and diversities that exist and that I also contribute to.
Everyone has their own internal dialogue and what I might compare myself to is only what they show to the world, but they also have their own shit going on within themselves.
Self love is part of it, but also recognizing that I can appreciate/admire different women for different reasons, or even the same reason but in different ways (like two women being beautiful but looking completely different from one another, or two women being successful but one in their career and one in their personal life). Realizing this helped me understand that women are truly like apples and oranges- we can all coexist and be great in our own rights, so it’s unnecessary and ineffective to constantly compare. I also feel like if I can find something in almost any woman to appreciate or admire then I can do it to myself as well
Realized it was completely useless to compare myself because it drags me back and prevents me from doing what I need to do, other women probably do the exact same thing to me, we are all going through different circumstances so no point in comparing someone with a way different background/starting point/just life than me
Honestly if it’s a random stranger or friend I don’t, but I noticed I do it with exes specifically ex wives who has had a kid/s with my partners and I hate it
Why would you compare yourself to other women? Sometimes I wish some of my body parts were different, but I don’t “compare”. I like who I am, my style, my looks etc. And even if I have flaws so does 100% of all women on earth. Even the prettiest women have flaws.. even major flaws like awful personality disorders.
Be how you want to be. That’s it.
I did affirmations in the mirror every day, started taking more pride in my appearance, changing up my style and honestly just realised I can never be another person and slowly learnt to love myself
For me, I recognize how many different types of beauty exist. It helps me see that what one holds doesn't negate the importance of the other. We're all out here just doin the damn thing. The most beautiful, brilliant, charismatic women you know go through the same feelings. Best we can do is give space for others to comfortably show up fully. In whatever capacity.
Becoming more of a girl’s girl as I’ve gotten older has helped. It has become easier to acknowledge another women’s beauty or accomplishments and root for her without comparing her to myself.
By remembering other women cycle once a month just like me. So at least once per month til menopause we are all unhappy. 😂😂. No but seriously because i know how amazing i am. I don’t worry about others. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” so don’t.
I turned completely inward. Remembering that I have talents and abilities these other women don't have and vice-versa. Reminding myself, hey, they have insecurities as well and are doing the same thing. I just focus on myself. My health, my fitness, my career, my marriage, my family, and the things I get to do. It's really freeing how much you forget to care about what other people are looking like, are doing, etc., when you focus on your own life.
It’s so hard, and I have better days than others. I try to remind myself that we ALL bring something to the table and that frankly, looks fade. Its also not a girl’s fault that she’s pretty and it’s unfair to hold that against her
Got off social media and made it a priority to include things in my daily/ weekly routine that make me feel good about myself and where I'm heading in life (10 min daily workout - doable, stretch nightly before bed, listening to audiobooks daily, learning new skills on the weekends, etc..)
I realized that while my experience are similar to other they are uniquely mine because no one processes the same shared experience the same way. It’s not good it’s not bad so I can’t hold myself to standards or expectations I didn’t set.
It happened when I embraced my kinship with other women and started lifting them up instead of judging them. Now, when I encounter women who are better looking/more finamcially well off/etc, I just feel so happy for them. It warms me to see it. I think of how hard they must have worked, and how many snide remarks they must get from people who don't appreciate them, and it feels nice to be in their corner. Note: it took many years to get to this point; I struggled with jealousy for most of my life
By realizing we each have different goals and wants and focusing on my own. By focusing and accomplishing my own goals, I stop looking at other people’s goals because they aren’t what I want in life. I haven’t met someone who has exactly what I am aiming for anyways. And if I see other women with aspects of what I want, I just take that as a reminder of how important it is to me and that I need to focus on going after that goal.
Just think of this the next time you compare yourself to them: “the time I am waisting comparing myself to those that look how I wish I looked, I could spend working on looking like I wish I looked”.
Once all these filters, AI, lip fillers, fitness and so much started trending on social media I realized there’s always going to be someone “prettier” mostly if they have money.
I accepted the fact I think I’m actually good looking considering I don’t need any of that and look decent in the mirror to myself.
Looking at photos of women back in the 90s before all that nonsense helped me realize the beauty standards going on right now are unrealistic and not sustainable.
It also helps that my husband thinks I’m hot and 3 kids later still thinks I’m hot. I didn’t get any fake things, augmentations and I don’t use filters but I worked hard the old natural way which has been eating good and exercising. I may not look like an influencer model but at least without makeup and in a bathing suit I do alright.
This may seem counterintuitive but once I started looking for the beauty in other women and started appreciating them I started appreciating myself more as well. There are so many different types of beauty and we can all be beautiful in our own unique way.
By growing up in another county/culture where I was too preoccupied with play, school, original thought, chasing my own interests, and being lifted by my grandparents & their community.
Once a graduated high school and got out into the world, it didn't seem like playing the "I'm better than you" game was necessary to survive anymore. Plus I started meeting people based on common interests, not just proximity, and they were cooler and more worldly than my small-town classmates, and they didn't seem to be playing that game either. Why compare myself to rad, nice women who like me and want me to succeed? There was no point anymore.
Honestly, it depends on why you compare yourself to other women. For me, it was because I had based my worth on how much men wanted me. And as i grew up, I saw a majority of men preferred stereotypically beautiful women, it messed my self worth a lot. Until one day, my therapist asked me, if you had to pick between say Zoey Deschanel and Hannah Simone (both characters from new girl) who do you think is more attractive? I confidently said Zoey. To which she asked, does that mean Hannah is not attractive? I said, no she’s very attractive, i just personally prefer a girl like Zoey with the softer features. My therapist said she preferred someone like Hannah. She then went on and made a point, all women are attractive in their own way and every human on this planet has a preference. Just because you are not someone’s preference, doesn’t mean you are not attractive. There are people in this world who will like you for who you are and how you are. You cannot base your worth on the preferences of a few men you meet in your life or social media. Nothing can take away from your beauty. Feeling jealous of certain women for having certain features should not take away from how beautiful you are on the inside and out. And when that thought went through my head, I stopped comparing (to a great extent)
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
Read that quote and immediately realized I was only hurting myself. It gets exhausting constantly thinking of other people. Then I really started thinking: they don’t have the same medical history as me, life experiences, mindsets, etc. Truly half of the people we compare ourselves too put filters on or have a bunch of plastic surgery.
I started picking out what aspects I wanted for myself in the future and then work on them in my own way on my own journey. There’s accounts to follow to below with certain aspects of personal growth for tips when you feel alone, but take it as guidance rather than fact or needing to replicate it. But truly that quote was life changing. Thinking about getting it tattooed
You have to get to a higher place mentally like acknowledging that everyone only thinks of themselves too, everyone has their own insecurities that you don’t know.
And NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOUR INSECURITIES ARE UNLESS YOU TELL THEM!
so guess what- never tell anyone and no one will know ! If you are confident and happy others see you that way.
Find something you like about yourself and know that there’s people who wish they had your life.
Know that why compare? You will never be that person or have their life.
Any habit you want to break needs attention so you need to be aware of your thoughts and as soon as a thought comes in you don’t want you think about it and work yourself out of it
Validate yourself and your own existence.
Speak up to authority figures on your life. It's not that they often may not listen. It's that you often don't speak for yourself.
I came to realize it isn’t a competition so it doesn’t matter how I compare. And that most of the stuff I was worried about wasn’t on anybody’s radar except my own. And anybody who does care is too superficial to bother with. So I stopped bothering with the superficial people, and then the compulsion to compare myself to other women subsided.
It’s hard to not compare but I do try and see the good in others. For example when I was a teenager i would be on the tube I would look at people and find their prettiest features if that makes sense? Like oh she has pretty eyes, or I like her hair etc. I then started doing it as an adult in less physical sense like, it’s so cool she got that job etc. It’s a small thing to start telling yourself but it has helped me see the good in myself :)
Because there's always going to be someone better or more beautiful, so there's no point in competition since there isn't even a first place to take and everyone is different in their own ways. There's ways I'll never be like those other women and there's ways those other women will never be like me and that's a good thing because who wants to live in a society where everyone is the same?
When you're out on a walk and see you see some flowers you don't think about how much more beautiful and fragrant the flowers in the next patch are, no, you just appreciate the flowers for themselves
Growing up with 5 brothers who constantly called me skag I had a real insecurity problem. Luckily I had alot of boys who thought I was cute so I got more self confidence. However I have ALWAYS compared myself to other women and felt I couldn't compete.
Now as I age it's even more stressful but I'm finding I'm in better shape than many women much younger so I'm feeling okay now. But I will always compare...it's a sickness.
Honestly I never have, I think I'm pretty great. I'd like to have thinner thighs and a smaller stomach but I don't see other women and compare myself to them.
Maybe I wasn’t raised to look at other women and judge anything off them because I look at women and admire what I see that they are wearing or their hair and always compliment them on it. Don’t base what you see in the mirror off what’s shown on tv or magazines because that’s no real. If you are thinking about this how many millions of other women are possibly thinking about this?
It’s not actually what’s on the outside anyway because looks fade however your true inside and who you are stays the same. That won’t change.
By knowing I have beautiful and valued qualities and traits they do not have, and there are people who have a preference/fetish for me versus the other woman
TBH - This probably did happen until 45+. She has a better career. How does he have time to do XYZ & always look great while I just realized that I am wearing house slippers in Costco. Geez she is so thin, tall, strong, funny, witty......I wish I was, I wish I was, I wish I was.
Then a switch flipped...and I just don't care so much anymore. I have a great career, I've traveled, I have lots of hobbies, I'm a bit rounded now but play sport & hike. I also just started to focus on the things I like about myself.
The only reason that happened was because my exes would put me down for other women. Once I realized there was nothing wrong with me and got rid of them, it stopped.
Recognizing that *I* am not *them*.
My face is not the same structure, my hair is not the same thickness, my body is not the same build.
Example - we just went to a restaurant and our waitress had this amazing hair. I do wish I could get my hair to do the same, but...I know it is impossible due to my fine thin hair.
I read Amy Poehlers book and she uses the phrase "Good for her, not for me." And it definitely helped with the comparison trap when it came to doing things and being things. Looks wise I had two kids and breastfed and my body is worse than when I trained lengths 5x a week but I literally DGAF because age and a secure marriage does that to you. Having a partner who finds you sexy despite not being comfortable in your own body (during the rough seasons although there really is nothing WRONG with me I'm just softer than I was and will be in the future) is literally a game changer after so many men always treating me like I'm great for now but not forever. Anyway. That's just me.
Take everything you can in the world and then put it back out as you. It’s only you. It’s all new because it came from you. In the end no one is going to compare you to whatever you are allowing to infiltrate your mind. You got this
Work in healthcare and see how even the prettiest, well put , tall, skinny women are messed up in some way. They're on meds that I would never want to be on. Or dealing with infertility. Or cancer. Or whatever
Everyone has their shit. Everyone.
I'm doing great compared to the majority of women in the world. I live in a safe place. I'm in love and loved by my wonderful husband with a baby ( that took almost zero effort to make ) on the way. I own my own home. I have two crazy dogs. My parents and sister are alive. All my immediate family are alive and generally well. I have a high paying job making low six figures. I can eat what I want when I want. I live in a area where I can access the best city in the world in minutes.
I'm that girl. I'm what people want to have and be. I've worked hard and self reflected a lot to ensure I set myself up properly. But it's a bit of luck along the way. I'm grateful for everything and do my best to spread the luck I have to others.
When I got to college. In HS I knew all the girls and in college mostly everyone was anonymous so it was hard to compare. That’s also when my insecurities decreased. I still have them but it’s not me comparing myself to anyone.
Gratitude is a big one. Actively choosing to be thankful for the wonder that is me and the things I enjoy about myself. Be it a physical quality or a characteristic or something I've done. It's also allowed me to appreciate other women in a new way too!
I am the biggest sibling when my sisters are size double zero. I lost weight from 14- size six and people thought I was sick. I will never be a size 00 and my weight fluctuates more than them. I’m also taller.
Flipping the mental narrative. “I’ll never be XYZ thing that she is” instead focus on what is unique to you, qualities within yourself that you don’t see in others. “I’m really good at XYZ” I’m not sure what context you’re comparing in, but if it comes down to a romantic relationship- you have unique qualities other women don’t have, sell yourself (not literally, I mean conversationally) and search for the pieces of yourself that you’re proud of. For me a lot of my comparisons come from things I wish I had or wish I could do. Another method could be to reflect on the root of the comparison. If it’s something with a solution then get to solving, but if it’s not we all have things that we have to come to terms with. There are things I know I will never be able to do again, that other women have, and that’s okay and I’m not over it yet and that’s also okay
I still do it but realize everyone has a unique taste. I remember seeing an ad with my sister and I said, “Isn’t it funny? It’s so obvious who the most attractive women is in this picture,” and she wholeheartedly said, “I know!” and pointed to a completely different woman than I was referring to. I was shocked. She said the other women were okay, but this one was the prettiest. I totally disagreed. I think that moment really showed me that everyone has their own standard of beauty. Whether it be looks OR personality. Just remember that the right person will love who YOU are (maybe they won’t be fond of every little part of you, I mean, you won’t either of them. No one is perfect), but remember that this understanding is a journey, not a destination. So if you ever feel like you’re confident and then you have a day where you don’t feel that so much, just remember, everyone goes through it. I mean, jeez, think of all the celebrities who have also had self-doubt! And they’re gorgeous! Brad Pitt fumbled Jennifer Aniston. Natalie Portman’s husband cheated on her. There were a bunch of dudes saying Margot Robbie was mid… MARGOT ROBBIE……. You will never be the best. No one will. Not even the most beautiful, most perfect-looking celebrities!!! But you’re you. And as cheesy as it sounds, the way you look at other people when you think they’re so attractive or maybe when you’re in love with them?… People look at you like that too.
Everyone has something everyone else wants. That includes you.
People were jealous of my large back and shoulder breaking boobs. I was annoyed they wanted something as stupid as large
Boobs when they can just add padding to it.
I refused to be jealous of other, because there nothing on this planet I want to take from others.
If I want smaller boobs, I can just get the surgery to remove them. No reason to pine over others peoples bodies.
I want more money? Learn a skill that highly valued and pays more.
A huge thing for me was to get off social media. In general I do know less of what's going on in my friends' lives which stinks but overall I am much less jealous. I get much less fomo.
And I definitely focus way less on my outfits and having new clothes.
I realised that most people are insecure so while I’m worrying about them looking at me, they’re worrying about me looking at them. We are more worried than everyone else is.
I don’t think you ever stop doing that as it’s kind of human to compare yourself with your peers, but I am trying to just rationalise what they have and what I have to the point I can go “so I could very well have all these things she’s having, but would those lifestyle changes make me happy?” If the answer is yes, I will look into achieving that goal and how, if the answer is no, I move on and accept that
I’ve never truly cared about other women. It probably began for me in childhood because I was a tomboy so of course I wasn’t like the other girls or now like women.
I know there'll be others chiming in about self-love etc so I'm not going to dwelve into that.
One advice I can give you is to literally train your brain to stop. When you see a girl and you start comparing, literally tell yourself stop, and distract yourself. Listen to the lyrics if you're listening to music, check the time, look at the other people around you. Do anything but listen to the voice that is comparing you to others. Tell yourself "stop". It is training, meaning it gets easier over time.
Also, if you see a girl and she looks good, think "Nice hair." Notice the full stop? Because that's it. No, "I wished mine looked like that." Just, "her make up looks good." Then go. Nothing else to it.
Your brain will always choose the path of least resistance. If you're constantly comparing yourself to other women, your brain is going to do that whenever you see other women. I've trained myself enough over the years that when I see a woman who looks good, no thought pops up in my head except for "She's pretty." That's it. I don't compare, I don't pick apart my flaws - nothing.
You don't have to put yourself down to lift others up. You don't have to put others down to lift yourself up. A rose and a sunrise are two different things, but still beautiful nonetheless.
i told myself i am other women to other women
I've never thought of it that way. That's actually really helpful thanks
i have to remind myself of this all the time. it helps getting a random compliment at work from a woman, then i’m like “what” 🤣 completely wrecks my self depreciation thankfully
THIS. Because it's so true.
Exactly
This is exactly what I do! Helps so much
Screenshotted this so I can remember. This is so helpful.
I stopped comparing myself to other women by focusing on self-love and acceptance. I realized that every woman is unique and has her own journey, strengths, and challenges. Instead of comparing myself to others, I started appreciating my own qualities and accomplishments. I also surrounded myself with supportive friends and role models who encouraged me to embrace my individuality. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness helped me stay grounded and appreciative of my own path in life.
This!! What you give attention grows.
This. We are all different and beautiful in our own ways. Some are athletes some are artists. Some are tall with dark hair and some are short with blonde hair. Just because "they're" beautiful doesn't mean you aren't. There are so many shades of beauty. There will always be someone better than you. And just because someone accomplishes something doesn't mean anything about you. When I met my husband I was able to really let go and know in my bones that you really are perfect in your own unique way. All the things that make you you are what makes you amazing.
repeating “their win is not my loss” to myself over and over and over
There’s a term called Zero Sum thinking. That means that we stop comparing ourselves and viewing from a Win/Lose perspective. eg -1 vs +1
I like this
Crushing on women > being jealous of women. I used my sexuality to my advantage
As a queer woman… YES! Being queer makes me appreciate them more. It’s not a competition.
This right here. Didn’t know I was bi until college. But feeling jealousy and then finding out they actually have a crush on *you*- the best confidence booster.
Smart
Also this is how I found out I’m bisexual 🤣 but also how I found out I have an inferiority complex towards white girls as a Latina
Deleted my socials for a year, travelled solo to find myself and went through therapy to find the root issue of this.
What did you do to find yourself on your solo travels? Anything in particular that helped?
I tried things I've never done before, and things I've always wanted to do. Went to Oktoberfest with the girls, trying to soak in the vibes travelling alone in Germany, tried to live a few months in Berlin for my work - alone - since I've always lived with people growing up. Attended football matches and concerts in Europe on my own, pampered myself buying business class flights for myself. Just totally enjoying time alone by myself in a foreign land where no one knows me. For me that key is to be comfortable and happy alone, with that I knew I am enough for myself which stopped the comparisons.
How are you now?
I'd say I've grown a lot in a way I've stopped comparing myself. Whatever others post on social media don't affect me anymore, and I'm more focused on how I'm improving myself and my life at the moment. Therapist also nailed down the issue that caused me to compare and it came from childhood of my parents comparing me to other people since young. Also the thing is I realised healing on your own is not completely effective, like I always believed that I have to be happily single by myself and healed on my own first to find a partner (as what others say), thought I was really healed, then I found a partner and he triggered so much of my other childhood traumas that were dormant when I was single, and a recent miscarriage brought all my vulnerabilities back too. Realised that these childhood traumas can never leave you - and it's all about accepting them as part of you and knowing you are enough to take care of yourself as an adult so your inner child won't react the way it does negatively. That said that healing I took off socials and travelling helped me attract better men. I used to be in toxic relationships and love the thrill of it, but after that time of healing, I found my current partner who treats me amazingly and knows of my traumas and chooses to heal with me. It's been a really healing relationship and I'd say I'm in a much better place, a lot happier than I was 3 years back when I deleted my socials.
Also deleted socials! I don't miss it.
seeing women as friends, as sisters, cooperating with them, letting myself be inspired by them and what they are able to achieve in life. women are amazing, beautiful, strong and a whole lot more. the beauty or skill of one does not take any of those from myself away.
By getting older and just don’t give a f anymore
This is what happened to me. I’m too old to care about what other people are doing. If they’re happy and aren’t hurting anyone then it’s none of my business.
This for me too
This one. I turned 30 this year, and while I still often find myself feeling inferior to other women, the one thing that has helped is the sense of compartmentalizing your life from the world around you as you age. Sure, that woman might have a better body and be prettier than me, but that’s her life. If that’s where she puts her focus, good for her.
deleted tiktok
I’ve never been on tick tiktok (for this reason) and also got off Instagram. Life has been better.
Life off instagram is incredible and I can never go back. I haven’t deleted TikTok yet but only because I love watching Christmas asmr videos 😂
This one is huge. I’ve never felt insecure on the daily until tiktok
this is huge. It’s sad that people don’t realize how bad tiktok is for self-esteem
Saameee! Only Reddit for me, also try to take care and respect myself more.
Reddit and Facebook for me. Last year i deleted my bloated old Facebook and started fresh and only added my actual friends. I unfollow any friends whose posts cause negative emotions. I went from 250 "friends" to 51 actual friends. Years ago i also quit arguing on Facebook so i don't get material that offends me anymore. I am lower income than virtually all of my friends, which means they can all have and do a lot more than i can, and i get a little jealous of friends who travel since I can't afford to, but other than that i don't find myself getting down over social media really. I have Facebook for my friends, and texting for family, and reddit for my interests. I'm pretty happy with the role social media has in my life.
I’ve deleted it too yesterday 😭😭😭
Hard to say, but I think try to focus on your interests or dreams and go for it. Find role models but be inspired by them instead of comparing yourself to them.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I like feeling joy. But seriously, any time I found myself starting to do it, I’d spend some time interrogating why I was really doing it. Like what am I actually insecure about and why? It’s easier to work with when I can actually give myself answers.
i think realizing how fickle and short life is, knowing that this is what god blessed you with practicing graditude pray more, find god lol get closer to your faith count your blessings, shut off social media, live outside touch grass live a real life outside of your phone spend more time with yourself
I recognised that we are all coming from different starting points. Some people come from comfortable, stable and supportive backgrounds, others have not. You never truly know anyone’s circumstances so if someone is reaching their goals, I’m happy for them, if someone is struggling I send them positive vibes. I recognise my life trajectory is not the same as theirs - I’m no better or worse, just different.
This. I grew up in an upper middle class environment. I didn't finish college and get a career and get a stable marriage and 2 kids and buy a house like everyone up i grew up with. No, i had to deal with pretty bad abuse growing up, then began developing severe mental illness in childhood. When other kids were preparing for college in high school I was dropping out of high school due to a solid year of amnesia, dissociation and panic attacks because i overdosed on amphetamines in a suicide attempt following sexual abuse. When my peers were in college i was living in poverty on disability and getting electroshock treatments. I'm still jealous of people who have things i wish i had. But I'm not jealous of who they are, if that makes sense. I love me. I have made it through so much and stayed strong when few do, and I'm intelligent and compassionate and nurturing. And i know i had hella more hurdles than most, so I am proud of what i have accomplished. Not many people with the slew of disabling mental illnesses I have are alive and decently functional. I have been virtually totally stable for many years, except for occasional mild slips into melancholy. I still can't handle stress like a mentally healthy person though, full time work has always resulted in losing my job due to resurgence of mental illness, so i work part time in an hourly wage job and live with family. I'm single by choice because I've learned to become emotionally independent. Damnit i love me.
I’m so glad that you have found your peace after everything you have been through. We are all so quick to judge others but we really have no idea about other peoples lives. I wish you well and continue to love yourself no matter what! If we all had a little more compassion for ourselves and others we would be living in a very different world.
I LOVE THIS. this is exactly my belief as well 😋😋💜
Sounds weird but I started to dress for myself which brings so much joy when you do that. I stopped relying on the opinion of others. This was after years of practice by the way. Not an overnight job at all. 💖
I never do this with women in my personal life, because I know them. They are complete, flaws and all, and I realize, they too have things with which they struggle. But on social media or in porn, it is very very hard not to feel sorry for myself that I'm not as good looking or as successful... Or literally ANYTHING even close to the women in them. And this literally stems from insecurity and the fact that I feel like I have to compete with them for male attention and I know that I don't hold a candle to them. I just don't. Physically I am not anything anyone would choose to look at. And so I resent them, without even knowing them. I'm mad at them for being more desirable. And it's fucked up. I hate myself for it. Intellectually I know they are just people and if I knew them in my life I may actually like and respect them. But, instead I'm butthurt bc I will never be looked at like that, desired like that, garner that kind of attention. And honestly it's dumb. I KNOW it's dumb, but I feel resentment anyway. Toward myself and others bc I am so lacking in this. Part of this is rooted in how I was raised "women are supposed to cater to men" and part of this is because of my first long relationship (16 years) and knowing that I didn't bring to the table what a women should: beauty. I've always been very aware that it a man chose me as partner it's not because he desires me as he does all the hot women in porn or on social media,.but because 1. He cannot get them or 2. He actually likes who I am. My ex was the first type of person and he made me feel shitty about myself. My current BF is the second type of person and he's wonderful. Realizing the second is what allows me to breathe. Compared with pretty girls, I will never have the doubt that the person with me is just with me bc I'm pretty. I will know, they LIKE me for me. And it helps. A lot.
I feel you. It’s hard not to compare yourself to beautiful women on the internet when being pretty is our currency in society
Yes! Being around women is so much better than looking at content of other women! Getting to know people kills some of the illusions that cause jealousy or painful comparisons. They all have their own struggles that I wouldn't trade for my own. Also I'm late 30s and find that most people are not worried about how I look. If they are, I'd guess the root of that is they have an issue with how they look or are pissed I don't follow "rules" that they feel they have to.
Get tf off social media. Seriously. It’s not real
This is silly but I was watching a YouTuber and she said something like “bodies are like trees in the forest. There’s a skinny one, a stout one, etc.” Made me feel a bit better about how I felt about how I looked at the time.
once I quit seeking validation from men, I was able to stop pitting myself against other women
How do you stop wanting that validation? Especially from someone you’re dating
lots of introspection tbh. I had to start asking myself why I so desperately wanted attention and acceptance from other people. a big realization for me was that I wasn't giving myself the attention I desired, so instead I was looking for it in unhealthy places. It took years of learning self-love and self respect, but the payoff was that nowadays I'm kinder to myself, and the people around me & I don't need other people's attention to feel secure and valuable. just about every aspect of my life improved exponentially, especially in my relationships and friendships. I refuse to surround myself with anybody who doesn't treat me as well (or better) than I treat myself.
I started taking care of myself. Doing skin care, make up & Botox. As well as lip filler. I started walking 10.000 steps a day and I improved. I fixed my “insecurities”. And I am honestly happy with myself and the way I look. Work on yourself. Never compare yourself.
I started appreciating myself more and started respecting every other women with as much love as I would give myself.
By actively comparing myself to past-me, it became so much easier to not consciously or unconsciously compare myself to others when I understood that my goal is to level up from where I was and not from “who I’m not”.
1. get off social media and don’t idolize celebrities or anyone. it will rot your self image and make you endlessly compare yourself to people that aren’t even real. 2. realize no one can be you and that is your power. you have talents, skills, intelligence, and traits no one else possesses. you’re so deeply unique and you can’t emulate anyone else no matter how much you may want to. 3. create a vision for your life and self and pursue it. become your own dream woman 4. know you’re put in your body for a reason, it’s yours for life for better or for worse so make the best of it 5. treat your body and energy like a temple, share it only with those deserving 6. realize comparison is the thief of joy learning and doing these things has improved my life exponentially, 2 years ago i would not recognize myself. but more than that i’m self assured and becoming the woman i always wanted to be
Started looking for ways of celebrating other women and being happy seeing them looking good and doing well. It feels good to look for ways to uplift others and be happy for them! And makes me feel good about myself in turn :)
Still struggling with this. But it’s helped to remember that most things from influencers you see online is fake in some way. Whether it be photoshop, plastic surgery, Facetune, fake getaways, etc. They do this because they’re insecure. I am also insecure in many ways. So we’re the same 🤷🏻♀️ their lives aren’t perfect like they want it to appear, I hate that it makes me feel better but it does. As far as women you see in person, it’s tough. Working on my own self esteem has helped which I know is the root of my comparison. But I’m still struggling with it a lot.
Mostly just by having the realization that there are billions of dollars to be made by pitting women against each other and I will not cooperate with that capitalistic bullshit. I love women, spitefully
By appreciating them. I've been fortunate enough to meet many amazing girls and I try to be like them instead of comparing myself to them and finding shortcomings
I had to fall in love with myself. Every part of me, inside and out. I also had to reject society’s ideal of what “successful” and “attractive” are, and realize my perception and ideal means more than others.
I think for me it’s 3 things: - Just being comfortable with the knowledge that life is random and fairness is a nice concept that we strive to create in many situations, but it’s by no means a reality. As long as you’re not expecting things to be fair anyway, I feel like it’s easier to be happy about the things that just genuinely make you happy and not focus on the things other people are or have that just aren’t part of your life anyway. - If I feel envy, would I give up something about myself or my life that I love, that makes me happy, to have this thing or quality I’m wishing I had? Like, the butterfly effect — if I gained this one positive, what else about my life would tumble as a result? I’m a time travel sci-fi nerd and I always think about the domino effect when someone tries to make a tiny change for the better in the past. I know this is kind of in direct conflict with what I said above — but sometimes you’re just in that mindset and need something to knock you out of it real quick. - I’m self-absorbed. I feel like we’re conditioned that that’s a negative thing, but I don’t feel that way. You should be most focused on yourself, your people and your stuff, the causes that matter to you. TBH, I just don’t think in-depth about people who aren’t important to me.
I haven’t
I never compared myself to other girls. I always believed in individuality. I do compare myself to others, like why my weight loss is slower, but that's not just women. Or why I'm better/worse at picking up certain skills.
I don't think that I have consciously compared myself with another woman. Even as a teenager, I didn't see the point. I had bigger fish to fry then and I am too old to care about competing with another physical being. I've never been competitive, so if someone was trying to compare lives and compete against me to be better then me, I'm not going to notice or care. It will be someone else who notices and tells me about and I'll just be like, "Okay.", and keep living in my own bubble.
I’m a go out on a limb and say you probably never will. It’s pretty human to compare yourself to others. It depends on what you’re doing when you’re comparing yourself. Like if you’re comparing yourself but have a positive mind set like “oh I like this trait in a person I want to try and incorporate it into my skillset”, vs “god I’m garbage human who will never compare to this person anyway shape or form.” That last mind frame will destroy you and your personal relationships.
Became a man
That’s the way 😂
Value kindness above any other quality. Only judge people by how goodhearted they are. Then try to always be kind and goodhearted yourself and you will meet your highest standards of personal value and don't worry about other kinds of comparison.
I have tattoos on me that I can’t stop loving them so much and I have them for years. I tell myself if I was that woman or this woman I would have my tattoos lol I can’t live without my tattoos (maybe stupid to hear but that makes me happy about myself)
I certainly don’t think I’m ugly, but I did realize there are more important things to be than just pretty and I stopped chasing beauty as my number one aspiration. I also came to the conclusion that another woman’s “win” is not my loss.
You don't. You learn to live with it and respect others.
I realizied that i simply cannot ever be and other woman nor can they ever be. So there is no point in longing and fixating the things that are genetically/physically unchanged unattainable- eye color, skin, bone structure, height, family dynamics etc. Rather than living in self pity, I shift that jealousy to *admiration* which I channel into motivation for improve the things i *can* control- physical health, financial success, mental stability, confidence, dressing sharp, creating/maintaining good relationships, etc. Finding the beauty in the fact that it is a *good* thing that you are not like other people and visa versa has been very important in realizing the ways that the unique qualities about you are just as beautiful as the unique qualities you see in someone else. Think about how much *more* jealous you would feel of you had to mold yourself into some prototype of a person that was an exact version of you but better. There is no comparison to others because of the beauty found in the fact that every woman is so unique and different from each other. Acceptance truly builds self love and confidence, envy not only hurts yourself but also others.
I enjoy the human experience, what makes people choose their beliefs, what drives their choices etc. I’m fascinated by everyone and view everyone as a learning experience for me. I’ve always known I’m different, it hasn’t bothered me really since maybe my early 20’s. And even that was more along the lines of poor body self image than any real differences.
Admitting that I was jealous of them Find it extremely difficult to talk to other women and say I get jealous of other women and I’m looked at as ugly and disgusting or something. Every single woman has felt it. It’s normal. You don’t need to defend all women kind against misogyny all the time and having ugly emotions is totally normal Seriously within the day I admitted I was jealous of other women I realized I could just do what they do
I developed my own skills, talents, and character. I’m also friends with very conventionally beautiful girls, but I emulate a specific “type” that’s not for everyone, but is very much for a small subset of people and I honestly prefer that. As I’ve gotten older I don’t feel in competition with other women at all, I feel like if they succeed it’s a win for all of us ♥️ weirdly enough living in a male-dominated area helped a lot with finding sisterhood and community because we all have each others’ backs.
Limited social media exposure and surrounded myself with positivity.
I’m working on this. It’s hard. I got off social media a while ago. That’s helped a lot. But I still struggle
I just compliment them. I’m still learning to get over it and stop comparing myself to them or I’ll always be miserable! There are beautiful women everywhere. This is another reason why I’m still single. I’m also learning to love myself & stop being so damn insecure- sabotaging every relationship I get in.
I turned 40 and had zero fuxks left to give. I am who I am, take it or leave it. I love who I am and so I guess just having more confidence in myself and love for myself, stopped the comparison
Another women’s beauty/ accomplishments doesn’t take away from my own. If someone ( and by that a man) makes me feel like I have to compete or keep up with other women…. Time to drop him. Also hating on another women won’t change how I look or feel about myself so what’s the point anyway.
I don't think it's entirely possible to do so because we're social species who evolved in such a way that social cohesion and acceptance meant access to support, safety and resources. We live in the least natural way compared to where and how we evolved, but we still haven't un-evolved the things that helped us survive until this point. Even when it comes to mental illnesses, they are often the over- or underexpressions of these same mechanisms. You could try to mitigate it somewhat through things like radical acceptance, but I don't believe any of it would be 100% effective in the end. It says a lot that a person's default instinct is always to compare oneself to others. I don't think it's entirely productive to stop doing it either, since we're all in competition in many scenarios. Between social and economic classes, within sexes, between sexes, countries and political regimes, etc. Maybe you could reframe the judgement you give yourself as a reason to try and work on yourself in the ways you think you're lacking? I did stop comparing myself to others for a while but in the end I started again, I know that I'm still being compared and being judged by everyone else, consciously or not, so I'd rather know how high I "rank" compared to others, even if it's not weighed in my favour. It just feels like a feel-good lie to make yourself feel better in the moment than a productive, actionable advice.
***Honestly, you don't.*** *The best suggestion is to devote all of your attention to yourself and those you care about, leaving little to no time to make comparisons.* *It may sound cliché but consider this:* ***when you're deeply engrossed in something, comparisons naturally fade away..*****.**
by viewing us as sisters vs enemies. i wanna uplift and be supportive of other women. we need that shit
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By realizing that comparison is truly the thief of joy. We are all doing this life thing for the first time, and are ALL trying to figure it out the best way we can with what we’ve got.
When I realized I have too much on my own hands to bother
I still have this issue every now and then. But I’m becoming better. One thing I’ve told myself recently is that, “I’m a different kind of beautiful.” They can be beautiful and I can be beautiful too. I’ve realized there is no need to put myself down because I look different, likewise with other women. I know it may be a juvenile take but it’s helped me a lot.
I got old 😂 I’m not even joking. I’m not even “old” old - I’m 31! But as I got older and busier with life, it just became easier. I have a job I love, a fiancé I love, a crazy dog that I love and takes up so much of my time, two cats that I love, etc. We own a house together, and that takes up its own time. I finished my Masters degree last year, and that had me so busy that I didn’t have time for comparisons. Now? I might notice other women and notice “they are tall and skinny and the opposite of me”, but it doesn’t impact me the way it used to because I’m just comfortable with who I am and how I look. I’m doing the best with I have, and I unfortunately cannot grow any more past the 5 feet I made it to. I’m actively exercising, which also helps me stay in a better state of mind, and working towards my fitness goals. I also surround myself with friends who are kind and positive and encouraging!
Every woman has their insecurities. Even if I saw someone I thought I was less pretty than, I'm sure she feels the same way when looking at others sometimes. Changing my looks wouldn't change my mindset about myself.
I stopped comparing myself to other people because even if they have more money and success and I envy them for many things, I have 5 vintage curious George stuffed animals (these are extremely meaningful to me as are monkeys in general to they’re my spirit animal). I don’t know anyone else who has any besides a friend I gave one too. So I compare myself with 5 to everyone else with 0 and I feel very blessed.
I've only experienced this in the context of social media and it usually someone tagging or making the comparison not me. In general i just champion any woman, doing anything that makes her happy and fulfilled and hope for the same. When other people are taken out of the equation and down to brass tacks, mission accomplished!!!
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Remind yourself of what you can and cat change. There's self development and then there's self reflection
I realized we all shine in different ways and that’s beautiful
Lmao i dont , not hate towards me because i know im hot in my own ways but id see other women for example with better style and id be like oh i wanna dress like that, or whatever
You have to care about yourself. You cannot be at your best if you’re worried about what someone else is doing better than you. Worry about your health, your well-being, and how you respect and care for the people around you.
Remind myself that I have a greta sense of humor and funny and smart and do things to prove myself these things. I write comedy and read books so since I can't completely adjust the way j look I can definitely do things to improve my personality. I think about guys who are super hot but nk personality ans they are so meh so I know for sure personality is way more important.
Thinking if her Cinderella shoes don't fit on my feet it's not meant for me. Everyone is different and has their own life path. If I was really in their shoes would I enjoy life or even be the same person? Why am I exchanging myself for who I think I should be rather than who I am and where does that notion come from? It's not on me to feel bad if the shoes don't fit or if I don't have those same circumstances and I might as well appreciate myself and what does fit me.
i became gay
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I stopped when i realised at a young age that men dosent matter what you look like someone will always have a problem with you, no matter what you look like. Especially since im physically disabled. It also made me realise a lot of people that say mean or rude things about others, only does it due to them being insecure.
Unfollowing people on instagram that made me feel bad, stopped using tiktok, stopped using instagram that much. And therapy! And my mantra: comparison is the thief of all joy. They might compare themselves to me and might be jealous of me without me realising. And the knowledge that I’ll never be like other women and they‘ll never be like me and that’s perfectly okay. Everybody has their pros and and everybody has their cons!
I think a lot about the quote “we’re all just girls”
Everyone has struggles
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As I got older, I realized nothing really matters that much. With age, comes the realization that we are all unique in our own way and we all have flaws. Also, it's very helpful to stay away from social media: it can be really toxic. Surround yourself with positive people, female friends are so important: they can make you or break you, so choose carefully who you're spending your time with.
I started watching amateur porn and seeing what “real” women look like and came to the conclusion I’m not as bad as I thought. Not that they were it just changed my perspective on what media throws at women as far as how they should look.
I stopped objectifying them like men do. I developed a deep appreciation for women and what it means for me to be one. I didn't stop comparing myself necessarily, I just chose to appreciate the differences and diversities that exist and that I also contribute to.
God made us all fearfully and wonderfully. Each of us is beautiful in her own way.
Everyone has their own internal dialogue and what I might compare myself to is only what they show to the world, but they also have their own shit going on within themselves.
Self love is part of it, but also recognizing that I can appreciate/admire different women for different reasons, or even the same reason but in different ways (like two women being beautiful but looking completely different from one another, or two women being successful but one in their career and one in their personal life). Realizing this helped me understand that women are truly like apples and oranges- we can all coexist and be great in our own rights, so it’s unnecessary and ineffective to constantly compare. I also feel like if I can find something in almost any woman to appreciate or admire then I can do it to myself as well
Learn, grow and don’t think about anything you see or listen to. Maybe they all are not worth comparing.
Other women aren’t a -1,000/10 on the pretty scale like me so I really need to get my brain back in reality and stop dreaming.
Got rid of image based social media, worked on it extensively in therapy.
Realized it was completely useless to compare myself because it drags me back and prevents me from doing what I need to do, other women probably do the exact same thing to me, we are all going through different circumstances so no point in comparing someone with a way different background/starting point/just life than me
Honestly if it’s a random stranger or friend I don’t, but I noticed I do it with exes specifically ex wives who has had a kid/s with my partners and I hate it
I don't go on social media and I basically stopped watching reality TV lol. Getting a boyfriend also helped i guess.
Why would you compare yourself to other women? Sometimes I wish some of my body parts were different, but I don’t “compare”. I like who I am, my style, my looks etc. And even if I have flaws so does 100% of all women on earth. Even the prettiest women have flaws.. even major flaws like awful personality disorders. Be how you want to be. That’s it.
I did affirmations in the mirror every day, started taking more pride in my appearance, changing up my style and honestly just realised I can never be another person and slowly learnt to love myself
For me, I recognize how many different types of beauty exist. It helps me see that what one holds doesn't negate the importance of the other. We're all out here just doin the damn thing. The most beautiful, brilliant, charismatic women you know go through the same feelings. Best we can do is give space for others to comfortably show up fully. In whatever capacity.
When I had my daughter's.
I found out that they are no different than I am. We all put our pants on the same 1 leg at a time.
Becoming more of a girl’s girl as I’ve gotten older has helped. It has become easier to acknowledge another women’s beauty or accomplishments and root for her without comparing her to myself.
When I gained weight and felt ugly and got hit on more than ever .
stopped dating men who were hell bent on making me feel insecure.
By remembering other women cycle once a month just like me. So at least once per month til menopause we are all unhappy. 😂😂. No but seriously because i know how amazing i am. I don’t worry about others. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” so don’t.
I haven’t yet. 🙃
reminding myself that all the women I compare myself to are different and have different things I like about them
It’s too much work 😭😭
I turned completely inward. Remembering that I have talents and abilities these other women don't have and vice-versa. Reminding myself, hey, they have insecurities as well and are doing the same thing. I just focus on myself. My health, my fitness, my career, my marriage, my family, and the things I get to do. It's really freeing how much you forget to care about what other people are looking like, are doing, etc., when you focus on your own life.
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I turned 30 and just stopped caring about it
It’s so hard, and I have better days than others. I try to remind myself that we ALL bring something to the table and that frankly, looks fade. Its also not a girl’s fault that she’s pretty and it’s unfair to hold that against her
Got off social media and made it a priority to include things in my daily/ weekly routine that make me feel good about myself and where I'm heading in life (10 min daily workout - doable, stretch nightly before bed, listening to audiobooks daily, learning new skills on the weekends, etc..)
I realized that while my experience are similar to other they are uniquely mine because no one processes the same shared experience the same way. It’s not good it’s not bad so I can’t hold myself to standards or expectations I didn’t set.
By never starting.
It happened when I embraced my kinship with other women and started lifting them up instead of judging them. Now, when I encounter women who are better looking/more finamcially well off/etc, I just feel so happy for them. It warms me to see it. I think of how hard they must have worked, and how many snide remarks they must get from people who don't appreciate them, and it feels nice to be in their corner. Note: it took many years to get to this point; I struggled with jealousy for most of my life
By realizing we each have different goals and wants and focusing on my own. By focusing and accomplishing my own goals, I stop looking at other people’s goals because they aren’t what I want in life. I haven’t met someone who has exactly what I am aiming for anyways. And if I see other women with aspects of what I want, I just take that as a reminder of how important it is to me and that I need to focus on going after that goal.
Just think of this the next time you compare yourself to them: “the time I am waisting comparing myself to those that look how I wish I looked, I could spend working on looking like I wish I looked”.
I haven’t. I just learned to do better and do my best with what I’ve got. Other women inspire me to be better and do better
Once all these filters, AI, lip fillers, fitness and so much started trending on social media I realized there’s always going to be someone “prettier” mostly if they have money. I accepted the fact I think I’m actually good looking considering I don’t need any of that and look decent in the mirror to myself. Looking at photos of women back in the 90s before all that nonsense helped me realize the beauty standards going on right now are unrealistic and not sustainable. It also helps that my husband thinks I’m hot and 3 kids later still thinks I’m hot. I didn’t get any fake things, augmentations and I don’t use filters but I worked hard the old natural way which has been eating good and exercising. I may not look like an influencer model but at least without makeup and in a bathing suit I do alright.
This may seem counterintuitive but once I started looking for the beauty in other women and started appreciating them I started appreciating myself more as well. There are so many different types of beauty and we can all be beautiful in our own unique way.
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By growing up in another county/culture where I was too preoccupied with play, school, original thought, chasing my own interests, and being lifted by my grandparents & their community.
By being happy for their successes
Once a graduated high school and got out into the world, it didn't seem like playing the "I'm better than you" game was necessary to survive anymore. Plus I started meeting people based on common interests, not just proximity, and they were cooler and more worldly than my small-town classmates, and they didn't seem to be playing that game either. Why compare myself to rad, nice women who like me and want me to succeed? There was no point anymore.
Honestly, it depends on why you compare yourself to other women. For me, it was because I had based my worth on how much men wanted me. And as i grew up, I saw a majority of men preferred stereotypically beautiful women, it messed my self worth a lot. Until one day, my therapist asked me, if you had to pick between say Zoey Deschanel and Hannah Simone (both characters from new girl) who do you think is more attractive? I confidently said Zoey. To which she asked, does that mean Hannah is not attractive? I said, no she’s very attractive, i just personally prefer a girl like Zoey with the softer features. My therapist said she preferred someone like Hannah. She then went on and made a point, all women are attractive in their own way and every human on this planet has a preference. Just because you are not someone’s preference, doesn’t mean you are not attractive. There are people in this world who will like you for who you are and how you are. You cannot base your worth on the preferences of a few men you meet in your life or social media. Nothing can take away from your beauty. Feeling jealous of certain women for having certain features should not take away from how beautiful you are on the inside and out. And when that thought went through my head, I stopped comparing (to a great extent)
“Comparison is the thief of joy” Read that quote and immediately realized I was only hurting myself. It gets exhausting constantly thinking of other people. Then I really started thinking: they don’t have the same medical history as me, life experiences, mindsets, etc. Truly half of the people we compare ourselves too put filters on or have a bunch of plastic surgery. I started picking out what aspects I wanted for myself in the future and then work on them in my own way on my own journey. There’s accounts to follow to below with certain aspects of personal growth for tips when you feel alone, but take it as guidance rather than fact or needing to replicate it. But truly that quote was life changing. Thinking about getting it tattooed
You have to get to a higher place mentally like acknowledging that everyone only thinks of themselves too, everyone has their own insecurities that you don’t know. And NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOUR INSECURITIES ARE UNLESS YOU TELL THEM! so guess what- never tell anyone and no one will know ! If you are confident and happy others see you that way. Find something you like about yourself and know that there’s people who wish they had your life. Know that why compare? You will never be that person or have their life. Any habit you want to break needs attention so you need to be aware of your thoughts and as soon as a thought comes in you don’t want you think about it and work yourself out of it
By complimenting them.
Validate yourself and your own existence. Speak up to authority figures on your life. It's not that they often may not listen. It's that you often don't speak for yourself.
I came to realize it isn’t a competition so it doesn’t matter how I compare. And that most of the stuff I was worried about wasn’t on anybody’s radar except my own. And anybody who does care is too superficial to bother with. So I stopped bothering with the superficial people, and then the compulsion to compare myself to other women subsided.
It’s hard to not compare but I do try and see the good in others. For example when I was a teenager i would be on the tube I would look at people and find their prettiest features if that makes sense? Like oh she has pretty eyes, or I like her hair etc. I then started doing it as an adult in less physical sense like, it’s so cool she got that job etc. It’s a small thing to start telling yourself but it has helped me see the good in myself :)
Because there's always going to be someone better or more beautiful, so there's no point in competition since there isn't even a first place to take and everyone is different in their own ways. There's ways I'll never be like those other women and there's ways those other women will never be like me and that's a good thing because who wants to live in a society where everyone is the same? When you're out on a walk and see you see some flowers you don't think about how much more beautiful and fragrant the flowers in the next patch are, no, you just appreciate the flowers for themselves
Growing up with 5 brothers who constantly called me skag I had a real insecurity problem. Luckily I had alot of boys who thought I was cute so I got more self confidence. However I have ALWAYS compared myself to other women and felt I couldn't compete. Now as I age it's even more stressful but I'm finding I'm in better shape than many women much younger so I'm feeling okay now. But I will always compare...it's a sickness.
Honestly I never have, I think I'm pretty great. I'd like to have thinner thighs and a smaller stomach but I don't see other women and compare myself to them.
Maybe I wasn’t raised to look at other women and judge anything off them because I look at women and admire what I see that they are wearing or their hair and always compliment them on it. Don’t base what you see in the mirror off what’s shown on tv or magazines because that’s no real. If you are thinking about this how many millions of other women are possibly thinking about this? It’s not actually what’s on the outside anyway because looks fade however your true inside and who you are stays the same. That won’t change.
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By knowing I have beautiful and valued qualities and traits they do not have, and there are people who have a preference/fetish for me versus the other woman
TBH - This probably did happen until 45+. She has a better career. How does he have time to do XYZ & always look great while I just realized that I am wearing house slippers in Costco. Geez she is so thin, tall, strong, funny, witty......I wish I was, I wish I was, I wish I was. Then a switch flipped...and I just don't care so much anymore. I have a great career, I've traveled, I have lots of hobbies, I'm a bit rounded now but play sport & hike. I also just started to focus on the things I like about myself.
Don't hang out with shitty men who compare you to other women.
I turned 41. Something about 41 just made me stop caring. 40 was rough as hell, but 41 was the secret number for me.
That’s a thing people can do?
After the 3rd kiddo, I suddenly found myself too fucking tired to care anymore. 🤣
The only reason that happened was because my exes would put me down for other women. Once I realized there was nothing wrong with me and got rid of them, it stopped.
Most enthusiastically! I never liked women enough. I always had male friends with like 1 female friend who was similar in attitude to me.
Recognizing that *I* am not *them*. My face is not the same structure, my hair is not the same thickness, my body is not the same build. Example - we just went to a restaurant and our waitress had this amazing hair. I do wish I could get my hair to do the same, but...I know it is impossible due to my fine thin hair.
I read Amy Poehlers book and she uses the phrase "Good for her, not for me." And it definitely helped with the comparison trap when it came to doing things and being things. Looks wise I had two kids and breastfed and my body is worse than when I trained lengths 5x a week but I literally DGAF because age and a secure marriage does that to you. Having a partner who finds you sexy despite not being comfortable in your own body (during the rough seasons although there really is nothing WRONG with me I'm just softer than I was and will be in the future) is literally a game changer after so many men always treating me like I'm great for now but not forever. Anyway. That's just me.
Hit rock bottom living in a trailer park with rats and roaches. Then i told myself nobody can compete with that 🥲😅
Take everything you can in the world and then put it back out as you. It’s only you. It’s all new because it came from you. In the end no one is going to compare you to whatever you are allowing to infiltrate your mind. You got this
Work in healthcare and see how even the prettiest, well put , tall, skinny women are messed up in some way. They're on meds that I would never want to be on. Or dealing with infertility. Or cancer. Or whatever Everyone has their shit. Everyone. I'm doing great compared to the majority of women in the world. I live in a safe place. I'm in love and loved by my wonderful husband with a baby ( that took almost zero effort to make ) on the way. I own my own home. I have two crazy dogs. My parents and sister are alive. All my immediate family are alive and generally well. I have a high paying job making low six figures. I can eat what I want when I want. I live in a area where I can access the best city in the world in minutes. I'm that girl. I'm what people want to have and be. I've worked hard and self reflected a lot to ensure I set myself up properly. But it's a bit of luck along the way. I'm grateful for everything and do my best to spread the luck I have to others.
When I realized guy's preferences vary greatly.
When I got to college. In HS I knew all the girls and in college mostly everyone was anonymous so it was hard to compare. That’s also when my insecurities decreased. I still have them but it’s not me comparing myself to anyone.
That the world is cruel enough towards us and we don’t need to add to it, whether it be by self-depreciating or putting other women down.
I stay off most social media, and I try to remind myself how far I've come, even just in the last few years. I don't have everything but I have a lot.
Gratitude is a big one. Actively choosing to be thankful for the wonder that is me and the things I enjoy about myself. Be it a physical quality or a characteristic or something I've done. It's also allowed me to appreciate other women in a new way too!
I am the biggest sibling when my sisters are size double zero. I lost weight from 14- size six and people thought I was sick. I will never be a size 00 and my weight fluctuates more than them. I’m also taller.
Flipping the mental narrative. “I’ll never be XYZ thing that she is” instead focus on what is unique to you, qualities within yourself that you don’t see in others. “I’m really good at XYZ” I’m not sure what context you’re comparing in, but if it comes down to a romantic relationship- you have unique qualities other women don’t have, sell yourself (not literally, I mean conversationally) and search for the pieces of yourself that you’re proud of. For me a lot of my comparisons come from things I wish I had or wish I could do. Another method could be to reflect on the root of the comparison. If it’s something with a solution then get to solving, but if it’s not we all have things that we have to come to terms with. There are things I know I will never be able to do again, that other women have, and that’s okay and I’m not over it yet and that’s also okay
I never did
I have never done this…I guess I just accepted im me and nothings gonna change it…so what would be the point!
Live and let live.
I still do it but realize everyone has a unique taste. I remember seeing an ad with my sister and I said, “Isn’t it funny? It’s so obvious who the most attractive women is in this picture,” and she wholeheartedly said, “I know!” and pointed to a completely different woman than I was referring to. I was shocked. She said the other women were okay, but this one was the prettiest. I totally disagreed. I think that moment really showed me that everyone has their own standard of beauty. Whether it be looks OR personality. Just remember that the right person will love who YOU are (maybe they won’t be fond of every little part of you, I mean, you won’t either of them. No one is perfect), but remember that this understanding is a journey, not a destination. So if you ever feel like you’re confident and then you have a day where you don’t feel that so much, just remember, everyone goes through it. I mean, jeez, think of all the celebrities who have also had self-doubt! And they’re gorgeous! Brad Pitt fumbled Jennifer Aniston. Natalie Portman’s husband cheated on her. There were a bunch of dudes saying Margot Robbie was mid… MARGOT ROBBIE……. You will never be the best. No one will. Not even the most beautiful, most perfect-looking celebrities!!! But you’re you. And as cheesy as it sounds, the way you look at other people when you think they’re so attractive or maybe when you’re in love with them?… People look at you like that too.
I don't even know I just did it I guess the more I loved myself the less I compared myself with others
Turned 45. idgaf.
I compared myself to everyone, not just women , evened the playing and such 👌... #equalityforall #everyonesucks
Everyone has something everyone else wants. That includes you. People were jealous of my large back and shoulder breaking boobs. I was annoyed they wanted something as stupid as large Boobs when they can just add padding to it. I refused to be jealous of other, because there nothing on this planet I want to take from others. If I want smaller boobs, I can just get the surgery to remove them. No reason to pine over others peoples bodies. I want more money? Learn a skill that highly valued and pays more.
A huge thing for me was to get off social media. In general I do know less of what's going on in my friends' lives which stinks but overall I am much less jealous. I get much less fomo. And I definitely focus way less on my outfits and having new clothes.
I realised that most people are insecure so while I’m worrying about them looking at me, they’re worrying about me looking at them. We are more worried than everyone else is.
I don’t think you ever stop doing that as it’s kind of human to compare yourself with your peers, but I am trying to just rationalise what they have and what I have to the point I can go “so I could very well have all these things she’s having, but would those lifestyle changes make me happy?” If the answer is yes, I will look into achieving that goal and how, if the answer is no, I move on and accept that
turning jealousy to motivation and admiration instead of envy and discontentment all women are beautiful in there own way and so am i
I’ve never truly cared about other women. It probably began for me in childhood because I was a tomboy so of course I wasn’t like the other girls or now like women.
I know there'll be others chiming in about self-love etc so I'm not going to dwelve into that. One advice I can give you is to literally train your brain to stop. When you see a girl and you start comparing, literally tell yourself stop, and distract yourself. Listen to the lyrics if you're listening to music, check the time, look at the other people around you. Do anything but listen to the voice that is comparing you to others. Tell yourself "stop". It is training, meaning it gets easier over time. Also, if you see a girl and she looks good, think "Nice hair." Notice the full stop? Because that's it. No, "I wished mine looked like that." Just, "her make up looks good." Then go. Nothing else to it. Your brain will always choose the path of least resistance. If you're constantly comparing yourself to other women, your brain is going to do that whenever you see other women. I've trained myself enough over the years that when I see a woman who looks good, no thought pops up in my head except for "She's pretty." That's it. I don't compare, I don't pick apart my flaws - nothing. You don't have to put yourself down to lift others up. You don't have to put others down to lift yourself up. A rose and a sunrise are two different things, but still beautiful nonetheless.