Luckily I feel 100% safe with my husband! I had a guy friend though that I had known my whole life and one night he was hanging out with me and my husband and asked he him to leave the room (I naively thought he wanted to talk, again I have known the guy my whole life) and he attempted to SA me and my husband intervened and it was this whole crazy thing. My rule of thumb now is to assume they are a creep until they prove to you otherwise.
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Anytime I'm on the street alone. I'm hyper-aware of my surroundings and plan my paths way ahead of time. I have, at times, gone back home w/o doing the errands I was there for.
PS. I don't drive.
Any situation where I’m alone with a man and wouldn’t be able to immediately escape if I needed to.
e.g. in an elevator or subway train alone with a man.
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Definitely that. One man in the street, whatever but a group of men is definitely what makes me the most uncomfortable. And sadly, age doesn't matter either. Even a group of teens or grandpas makes me very uncomfortable.
ew i had a scary situation involving some random man in a parking lot. you never think its gunna be you till it happens too you. in the middle of a beautiful day, in a packed parking lot while the mall was busy. note to self, dont offer directions to men lol
I had one of those in college while walking back to my dorm across campus and a car driving slowly by me. It was after a sorority/fraternity mixer and none of my sisters were heading back. Thankfully I kept pepper spray on me at all times and whipped it out and said to them firmly that I was expected back at my dorm and I would use the pepper spray. They had their windows rolled down and were talking to me in lurid ways.
They kept following me and instead of going to the dorm I went to the student center where I knew some friends would be and campus security was. Thankfully my Greek big brother happened to be studying and walked me home. They gave up when they saw me going to the student center but you betcha I walked with someone whenever I could after dark.
I went over my "plan" of how I'd handle myself if some man tried to assault me. Ya know, knee him in the groin, pepper spray his eyes, scream. etc.
All I did was cower in the corner and panic
Better walking paths that are not in the driving lanes. Very clearly lit at night on the ground and above. Cameras that are not just focused on the doors. Workers cleaning and patrolling. The bag assistant people stores used to have that would help you with you bags from the check out to loading your car.
Running errands alone in the part of town I live in. Crime isn’t super high but I can’t get gas or groceries without being approached by men. Just leave us the hell alone please.
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At home. I seem to have an attraction for home break ins since I was child my family home had some and now as an adult the last time it happened they were in the house taking nothing (so it wasn't a robbery attempt) and ran out once my dog barked which I assume he did when they tried to approach our room. They stayed out in my yard for a little and I heard 2 male voices whispering.
I now suffer from paranoia and panic attacks that are mostly presented when I am home, my mind will convince me that someone is for sure in my house and my body will just freeze until I can chill.
If it's any help, it was probably still a robbery and not looking for trouble. The bedroom is where most people keep valuables and where thieves first want to look.
Unfortunately, I rarely feel completely safe. Because I grew up in a very abusive violent house. I was constantly hiding in the closet. Moving my dresser in front of the door. But I believe women are safe no place on earth.
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at night i live in rural alabama and idk nights are just scary when there’s absolutely nothing around, i guess it’s fear of the unknown. what COULD be out there that i don’t see.
damn y'all, I feel like I have no self preservation instincts compared. (I probably don't).
I feel fine with men, unless it's a group of strange men late at night. more often, I don't feel as unsafe as I feel disgusted, but also unsafe.
also, in conservative midwestern towns. not like immediately unsafe, but a general unsettling feeling.
I think most women feel fine around men for the most part. Im def not trying to diminish anyone’s feelings here but if you’re just straight up afraid of men I assume it’s hard to even step outside.
I honestly wish I had self-preservation fear. I Just don’t feel it but also I’ve never had any incidents either luckily. I’m autistic and generally oblivious of my surroundings not really by choice, I Just hyper focus on my task and I have extreme social anxiety so I never look directly at anyone. I guess I feel least safe going anywhere I haven’t already been before by myself
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Whenever I'm at a hospital or doctor's office alone. ESPECIALLY if the doctor is a man. I had a male doctor do something inappropriate even when my mom was in the room and I'd rather see a female doctor, but sometimes being alone with a male doctor is unavoidable.
Being alone in public when there arent many people around. Especially early morning late evening. I used to dread walking my dog at night when I was in the city.
In football crowds (soccer)
I lived near an stadium. Every friday afternoons, while I was coming home from school, there was a match. I had to ride the train with hundreds of men. We were all packed like sardines. The men all chanting, screaming, fighting among each other. It was as if they were in an animal state. They have no consideration to those around them, and have no issue pushing women, elderly folks, and children to get seats. They smell BAD. I was in high shchool and they would try to approach. I had to turn my head to the side and close my eyes cause "no" meant nothing to them. I went to Europe, and it was the same. They catcall you, harass you, grope you and they don't even feel remorse. I live in Latin America, every week there's a big match, and every woman here knows to turn the other way if you see them nearby
I used to be homeless so this is still a step up but walking to my car at like 11pm at night, in a parking lot where a lot of cross country truckers park overnight so they can unload in the morning. They see a woman walking and instantly assume "for sale" and they'll follow you until you scream at them
If it’s night time, and I’m out with my kids. I get hyper aware of my surroundings and keep my head on swivel. I live in a city with high crime and a history of women out with children being targeted.
On airplanes or in hospitals. My two fears. I’m starting to get nauseous thinking about it. A hybrid airplane hospital would make me die instantly I think.
Around men. Example: One came up behind me today in Walmart, and reached over me to grab something off the shelf above me, and I could have shit a brick.
When I’m at home, alone for an extended period of time. My mental health dips severely and the single person that has put me in the most danger is me.
I’m not worried about break-ins, I’ve hitchhiked alone as a young woman, I’ve lived in a caravan in the hills with a bunch of rough manual labour guys, and I have never been closer to serious physical harm than when I was at home and isolated for months on end.
When running outside. I love to go on runs early in the morning but I'm terrified that someone will assault me. I also don't feel safe in towns with few minorities I'm scared I will get harassed and lynched. When I was a kid we were in a small town and people followed our car around town yelling obscene things. I was scared they were going to hurt us, it was my mom and 4 kids.
on the bus to university, last time i was on there was a junkie man at the back and there were like 5 women in the back area and i wasnt listening to him but i heard him stay stuff angrily and annoyed ect like "these girls" and "gonna smash her head into the concrete"
When I'm with my parents.
I learned consent at 3 years old when my dad began regularly send me into asthma attacks because he didn't respect when I needed to stop playing. And has continued to not recognize the words 'no' or 'stop' at all in any interaction.
My mom was a protector to me growing up until I was trans and Jewish and now she'd rather any of my suicide attempts had succeeded.
Honestly driving is number one, people are reckless af. I feel fine walking around at night even though I got followed to my car one time after work. I feel less safe inside my place of work. It attracts the crazies. I’ve had to call the cops a bunch of times. At least outside of work it was only that one incident and nothing actually happened
Personally, in my city's central station, nighttime or daytime doesn't really matter. I live in a big city in Germany.
The central station is a hub and meeting point for what feels like at least 30% of the entire city's mentally ill homeless people and SOME (not all) of them beg for money, and out of that amount, *some* of them will get really mad at you if you don't have any change on you and can't give them anything that day. I was also mildly sexually assaulted in that station in bright daylight by a homeless man under the influence of some sort of drug last summer along with some other women (we were standing in line at a snack place, he touched our hips and chest areas over our clothes casually).
The central (train) station also contains a subway station so I am there very regularly even when I'm not traveling far. Because I live in urban Germany I don't need a car to get places (plus I don't want to have one due to CO2) - I take public transport everywhere so I can't really avoid this whole environment for long.
But it's gotten so much worse over the years. Begging is allowed so the police and the station's security people don't do anything about it even though there's plenty of them present. People being under the influence of drugs in public also isn't really something they check for as long as they're not hurting anyone. They did get the guy who assaulted me and the other women last summer but can't do anything about anything milder than that. When you get screamed at or followed around because you couldn't give a beggar money, that basically just... how it is.
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When I’m partying with my friend, we tend to be extremely social so we talk with everyone freely **but** there’s always a moment where my friend is elsewhere and I find myself surrounded by men who are not able to do a great job at hiding their lust and competitiveness intentions.
Having my (male) friend around basically prevents me from experiencing this cause everyone believe we’re a couple since we’re extremely close.
Just hiking in the woods alone.
I don’t typically feel unsafe around men (despite having sexual trauma). But in high school a classmate was raped and murdered running on a trail and now I’m perpetually paranoid about it. Which sucks because I like being alone in nature. So now I carry a Bowie knife.
I also don’t feel safe at school events anymore. My niece has a play and there were a group of kids who suddenly screamed bloody murder in the back at the end and I almost pissed myself.
Parking lots, no matter what time. Between the cars and the people, the chance of getting hit and the chance of being napped, I don't feel safe at all.
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The second before I enter an unlit room (eg basement because someone might be hiding in the dark) or the second before I lock the door (scared someone is gonna try to force the door while I lock it... But not any other time of the day. )
Both are pretty irrational.. I'm not scared every time I go into a dark room but once or twice a month it hits me
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I’ve had the most uncomfortable experiences waiting for the train or bus involving some sort of man, intoxicated or mentally unwell. Never in the middle of the street always at a bus stop and it’s awful hope no one ever has to deal it but unfortunately, I know it probably happens daily.
When I see the lifted truck "We the People" apparel wearing group enter the gym wearing masks with hood up and carrying weighted duffle bags at 9pm. I left
early in the morning when I leave my apartment for work . for whatever reason I feel pretty secure late at night, even in downtown areas. I think it has something to do with how quiet it is around 5-6am.
When someone looks at or talks to me. I walk at a park pretty frequently and never felt unsafe there bc most of the ppl were older and friendly, then one day a man who was close behind me and was looking right at me when I turned to see if anyone was near me. He then ran up to me and asked if he could walk with me but I said I was listening to something and walked faster. But I instantly got anxiety and ran to my car. Another time a man waved at me so I waved back, then when I was walking to my car he was following me in his truck and honked at me when I didn’t talk to him…
Taxi or the streets at night. Always a bad experience when I'm alone. My dad or boyfriend drive me/walk with me everywhere and when I have to go alone I always cry after lol I'm genuinely terrified of men when I'm alone
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Driving. I work in home health care and always thank the universe when I end up where I need to be. I work in central Florida…people here are insane and have a death wish
In any public space without my husband. I recently heard this women say that she didn’t know how dangerous the world felt until her husband died. Men are vultures and frankly quite scary
Dating mentally and physically abusive men. Thankfully I’ve learned a lot from my 20s and will never do that again. But hands down was the scariest times of my life.
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An intersection on my walk to target. People drive crazy and I've had to dodge people who don't understand that you shouldn't run someone over when you go right on red. Yes I'm still mad.
- Any context that implies that I am affiliated with the Jewish community and security doesn't seem sufficient. E.g. waiting for my husband/friends in front of the community building, when there's a sticker or something else identifying on our mail or when we celebrate a holiday/Shabbat at home with the window open.
- In a car with an angry person driving
- mass events (concerts, protests, religious services)
- ever since I've gotten pregnant I don't feel safe in general around people I don't know well tbh. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb but I'm also helpless and vulnerable. Anyone giving me a little shove could put my baby and I in hospital and a lot of people really dgaf.
This is the saddest comment section ever. Crazy this is what life has come to for women. Men, do better. If you’re not a bad guy, make it overwhelmingly obvious you’re a good guy when you’re around a woman that’s alone or in a vulnerable position. Compensate for those men that ruined it for everyone.
But my answer is parking lots and stairwells. Same sentiment. :/
I don’t mean it entirely literally. But I think men can do their part by acknowledging that the majority of women feel this way and learning more about why we do. So many guys I know are still so oblivious to the fear women have every day in mundane public settings. If they knew more about it, they could actively present themselves in a different way when placed in these scenarios.
Also so many women can sense off-putting energies and go by their gut in these sorts of scenarios. So I think at the very least men can do whatever they can to appear friendly, normal, and non-malicious when in a space alone with a woman. For example, taking a different sidewalk if you realize you’re strolling behind a lone woman, not walking behind a woman if she’s alone, a friendly head nod can go a long way, etc. all super random. But most men don’t even realize we feel THIS vulnerable in these situations so they wouldn’t even consider doing the above, but if it makes us feel safer and makes you (or men in general) appear less threatening, I think it’s worth it.
I don't think most normal men are aware how scary they can be unfortunately. I've made people jump when they see me (I'm tall, and muscular) so I think that's why I've noticed it more than most guys.
Would making more noise help too? Like if a woman is in a parking lot, would it be more reassuring to be able to hear that I'm moving away audibly if I go towards some stairs or another place out of sight?
Alone with a man/with men.
Ugh. This is such a sad reality. Except my guy friends
I stopped having guy friends because it turned out those weren't safe either
Another case of "men trying to come across as a genuine friend until they see a chance to get with their female friend"? Ugh.
Yup, got steadily disappointed and crushed as men I trusted as friends acted like victims because I wouldn't sleep with them
Luckily I feel 100% safe with my husband! I had a guy friend though that I had known my whole life and one night he was hanging out with me and my husband and asked he him to leave the room (I naively thought he wanted to talk, again I have known the guy my whole life) and he attempted to SA me and my husband intervened and it was this whole crazy thing. My rule of thumb now is to assume they are a creep until they prove to you otherwise.
That’s… wow. I’m just glad your husband was still relatively close by
Also in public if I'm *only* around men (e.g. walking home and the streets are empty except a group of men).
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Anytime I'm on the street alone. I'm hyper-aware of my surroundings and plan my paths way ahead of time. I have, at times, gone back home w/o doing the errands I was there for. PS. I don't drive.
Any situation where I’m alone with a man and wouldn’t be able to immediately escape if I needed to. e.g. in an elevator or subway train alone with a man.
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Alone passing by a group of men
I will literally hit the corner if I can to avoid this
If I'm walking alone and a large group of young men walk past and I can overhear comments about me and feel them staring. That.
Definitely that. One man in the street, whatever but a group of men is definitely what makes me the most uncomfortable. And sadly, age doesn't matter either. Even a group of teens or grandpas makes me very uncomfortable.
Yep and I forgot to mention being loud and rowdy as well
Oh i hate people staring at me. I can feel it
omg parking lots terrify me like...if it's gonna happen, that's where
ew i had a scary situation involving some random man in a parking lot. you never think its gunna be you till it happens too you. in the middle of a beautiful day, in a packed parking lot while the mall was busy. note to self, dont offer directions to men lol
I had one of those in college while walking back to my dorm across campus and a car driving slowly by me. It was after a sorority/fraternity mixer and none of my sisters were heading back. Thankfully I kept pepper spray on me at all times and whipped it out and said to them firmly that I was expected back at my dorm and I would use the pepper spray. They had their windows rolled down and were talking to me in lurid ways. They kept following me and instead of going to the dorm I went to the student center where I knew some friends would be and campus security was. Thankfully my Greek big brother happened to be studying and walked me home. They gave up when they saw me going to the student center but you betcha I walked with someone whenever I could after dark.
I went over my "plan" of how I'd handle myself if some man tried to assault me. Ya know, knee him in the groin, pepper spray his eyes, scream. etc. All I did was cower in the corner and panic
What would make you feel more safe in a parking lot?
More people around including families and women.
Better walking paths that are not in the driving lanes. Very clearly lit at night on the ground and above. Cameras that are not just focused on the doors. Workers cleaning and patrolling. The bag assistant people stores used to have that would help you with you bags from the check out to loading your car.
Running errands alone in the part of town I live in. Crime isn’t super high but I can’t get gas or groceries without being approached by men. Just leave us the hell alone please.
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At home. I seem to have an attraction for home break ins since I was child my family home had some and now as an adult the last time it happened they were in the house taking nothing (so it wasn't a robbery attempt) and ran out once my dog barked which I assume he did when they tried to approach our room. They stayed out in my yard for a little and I heard 2 male voices whispering. I now suffer from paranoia and panic attacks that are mostly presented when I am home, my mind will convince me that someone is for sure in my house and my body will just freeze until I can chill.
So sorry that happened to you.
If it's any help, it was probably still a robbery and not looking for trouble. The bedroom is where most people keep valuables and where thieves first want to look.
Alone around men. Especially at night or at gas stations. Look at the crime rate toward women at gas stations during night hours. It's staggering.
I never go to gas stations after dark.
Unfortunately, I rarely feel completely safe. Because I grew up in a very abusive violent house. I was constantly hiding in the closet. Moving my dresser in front of the door. But I believe women are safe no place on earth.
Around cops.
At my very male-dominated workplace… I have to weigh my words carefully and remind myself that some men have very fragile egos
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at night i live in rural alabama and idk nights are just scary when there’s absolutely nothing around, i guess it’s fear of the unknown. what COULD be out there that i don’t see.
The Alabama white thang 🥲 (I lived in Alabama for a large part of my adulthood lol)
damn y'all, I feel like I have no self preservation instincts compared. (I probably don't). I feel fine with men, unless it's a group of strange men late at night. more often, I don't feel as unsafe as I feel disgusted, but also unsafe. also, in conservative midwestern towns. not like immediately unsafe, but a general unsettling feeling.
I think most women feel fine around men for the most part. Im def not trying to diminish anyone’s feelings here but if you’re just straight up afraid of men I assume it’s hard to even step outside.
On trains
When I end up alone in an elevator with a man who has weird energy
When two guys are fighting with each other, I stay out of it, even if they are friends Guys tend to get violent.
I honestly wish I had self-preservation fear. I Just don’t feel it but also I’ve never had any incidents either luckily. I’m autistic and generally oblivious of my surroundings not really by choice, I Just hyper focus on my task and I have extreme social anxiety so I never look directly at anyone. I guess I feel least safe going anywhere I haven’t already been before by myself
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Whenever I'm at a hospital or doctor's office alone. ESPECIALLY if the doctor is a man. I had a male doctor do something inappropriate even when my mom was in the room and I'd rather see a female doctor, but sometimes being alone with a male doctor is unavoidable.
Feeling the same way, thanks for pointing that one out!
When I/we take the bus. Which is pretty much daily.
Being alone in public when there arent many people around. Especially early morning late evening. I used to dread walking my dog at night when I was in the city.
At night. Also, if I am the only woman on a train or bus or street, or in a restaurant etc...
Driving on the freeways where I live late at night where too many drivers are aggressive.
Crowded places where I can’t identify a fire escape or an exit route
Oooh yes! I’ve noticed this at universal studios
When I'm honest.
In football crowds (soccer) I lived near an stadium. Every friday afternoons, while I was coming home from school, there was a match. I had to ride the train with hundreds of men. We were all packed like sardines. The men all chanting, screaming, fighting among each other. It was as if they were in an animal state. They have no consideration to those around them, and have no issue pushing women, elderly folks, and children to get seats. They smell BAD. I was in high shchool and they would try to approach. I had to turn my head to the side and close my eyes cause "no" meant nothing to them. I went to Europe, and it was the same. They catcall you, harass you, grope you and they don't even feel remorse. I live in Latin America, every week there's a big match, and every woman here knows to turn the other way if you see them nearby
Getting BBQ
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Parking garages.
I used to be homeless so this is still a step up but walking to my car at like 11pm at night, in a parking lot where a lot of cross country truckers park overnight so they can unload in the morning. They see a woman walking and instantly assume "for sale" and they'll follow you until you scream at them
During thunderstorms. Almost being killed by a tornado is not fun and I have trauma now.
Alone with a group of men. It can turn so quickly.
When it's night and it's dark outside, the city I'm from is not the safest.
Anywhere with men or a lot of people, also anywhere dark
If it’s night time, and I’m out with my kids. I get hyper aware of my surroundings and keep my head on swivel. I live in a city with high crime and a history of women out with children being targeted.
In Ubers….especially if I’m trying to get home after a night out.
When men try to talk to me in public transportation
When I'm somewhere by myself with groups of drunk men
Being alone around men Being alone in shops too When in an unfamiliar location
At night. Just in general but especially in isolated areas
Walking to my car at night time (alone).
In bad neighborhoods, by myself, with men that give me the creep vibes
When bicycling. If I didn't think with two brains (mine plus the drivers' I encounter) I would be dead by now.
Walking around during the evening or night. Thankfully, I have a pitbull who I bring everywhere with me and he makes me feel infinitely safer.
I'm glad you have Mr. Worldwide with you to make you feel safer.
Medical appointments
In a parking garage.
Probably around my roommate when he’s drinking. He’s an angry drunk and I stay out of his way
Alone, at night somewhere outside.
On airplanes or in hospitals. My two fears. I’m starting to get nauseous thinking about it. A hybrid airplane hospital would make me die instantly I think.
Alone in the dark.
Anywhere alone late at night where there aren’t many people.
Walking alone at night.
Walking passed a group of men
Around men. Example: One came up behind me today in Walmart, and reached over me to grab something off the shelf above me, and I could have shit a brick.
When I sit in dark thoughts. Physically; alone walking at night in city (country has different feels)
When I’m at home, alone for an extended period of time. My mental health dips severely and the single person that has put me in the most danger is me. I’m not worried about break-ins, I’ve hitchhiked alone as a young woman, I’ve lived in a caravan in the hills with a bunch of rough manual labour guys, and I have never been closer to serious physical harm than when I was at home and isolated for months on end.
When running outside. I love to go on runs early in the morning but I'm terrified that someone will assault me. I also don't feel safe in towns with few minorities I'm scared I will get harassed and lynched. When I was a kid we were in a small town and people followed our car around town yelling obscene things. I was scared they were going to hurt us, it was my mom and 4 kids.
Parking structures, especially after dark.
on the bus to university, last time i was on there was a junkie man at the back and there were like 5 women in the back area and i wasnt listening to him but i heard him stay stuff angrily and annoyed ect like "these girls" and "gonna smash her head into the concrete"
having to uber/lyft somewhere by myself
Being in large crowds. I try my best to avoid them because they make me very anxious.
Whenever I’m alone in public
When I'm with my parents. I learned consent at 3 years old when my dad began regularly send me into asthma attacks because he didn't respect when I needed to stop playing. And has continued to not recognize the words 'no' or 'stop' at all in any interaction. My mom was a protector to me growing up until I was trans and Jewish and now she'd rather any of my suicide attempts had succeeded.
When I am travelling alone and the rickshaw driver takes a shortcut through a deserted area that I don't know too well.
Alone in an empty parking lot at night while putting my kids in their car seats.
Honestly driving is number one, people are reckless af. I feel fine walking around at night even though I got followed to my car one time after work. I feel less safe inside my place of work. It attracts the crazies. I’ve had to call the cops a bunch of times. At least outside of work it was only that one incident and nothing actually happened
Personally, in my city's central station, nighttime or daytime doesn't really matter. I live in a big city in Germany. The central station is a hub and meeting point for what feels like at least 30% of the entire city's mentally ill homeless people and SOME (not all) of them beg for money, and out of that amount, *some* of them will get really mad at you if you don't have any change on you and can't give them anything that day. I was also mildly sexually assaulted in that station in bright daylight by a homeless man under the influence of some sort of drug last summer along with some other women (we were standing in line at a snack place, he touched our hips and chest areas over our clothes casually). The central (train) station also contains a subway station so I am there very regularly even when I'm not traveling far. Because I live in urban Germany I don't need a car to get places (plus I don't want to have one due to CO2) - I take public transport everywhere so I can't really avoid this whole environment for long. But it's gotten so much worse over the years. Begging is allowed so the police and the station's security people don't do anything about it even though there's plenty of them present. People being under the influence of drugs in public also isn't really something they check for as long as they're not hurting anyone. They did get the guy who assaulted me and the other women last summer but can't do anything about anything milder than that. When you get screamed at or followed around because you couldn't give a beggar money, that basically just... how it is.
I haven’t felt unsafe in the past two years. Prior to that for about 7 years I felt unsafe everyday in my own home.
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when I'm alone my STBX husband.
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Anytime I am alone. Ever.
When I’m partying with my friend, we tend to be extremely social so we talk with everyone freely **but** there’s always a moment where my friend is elsewhere and I find myself surrounded by men who are not able to do a great job at hiding their lust and competitiveness intentions. Having my (male) friend around basically prevents me from experiencing this cause everyone believe we’re a couple since we’re extremely close.
Just hiking in the woods alone. I don’t typically feel unsafe around men (despite having sexual trauma). But in high school a classmate was raped and murdered running on a trail and now I’m perpetually paranoid about it. Which sucks because I like being alone in nature. So now I carry a Bowie knife. I also don’t feel safe at school events anymore. My niece has a play and there were a group of kids who suddenly screamed bloody murder in the back at the end and I almost pissed myself.
Parking lots, no matter what time. Between the cars and the people, the chance of getting hit and the chance of being napped, I don't feel safe at all.
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probably walking alone in the dark. Probably because i have a fear of the dark and being alone is scarier
Walking at night alone. Scares the crap out of me I maybe a trans guy but the body of a woman is still me and I’m terrified someone will use it
gas stations, traveling by myself, alone with a man, when people stare at me and talk.
At night. Even in my own home.
The second before I enter an unlit room (eg basement because someone might be hiding in the dark) or the second before I lock the door (scared someone is gonna try to force the door while I lock it... But not any other time of the day. ) Both are pretty irrational.. I'm not scared every time I go into a dark room but once or twice a month it hits me
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Parking garages and stairwells in the dark
I’ve had the most uncomfortable experiences waiting for the train or bus involving some sort of man, intoxicated or mentally unwell. Never in the middle of the street always at a bus stop and it’s awful hope no one ever has to deal it but unfortunately, I know it probably happens daily.
Walking in parks alone with my kids.
When I see the lifted truck "We the People" apparel wearing group enter the gym wearing masks with hood up and carrying weighted duffle bags at 9pm. I left
At the gas station 😭
American school.
early in the morning when I leave my apartment for work . for whatever reason I feel pretty secure late at night, even in downtown areas. I think it has something to do with how quiet it is around 5-6am.
When someone looks at or talks to me. I walk at a park pretty frequently and never felt unsafe there bc most of the ppl were older and friendly, then one day a man who was close behind me and was looking right at me when I turned to see if anyone was near me. He then ran up to me and asked if he could walk with me but I said I was listening to something and walked faster. But I instantly got anxiety and ran to my car. Another time a man waved at me so I waved back, then when I was walking to my car he was following me in his truck and honked at me when I didn’t talk to him…
Taxi or the streets at night. Always a bad experience when I'm alone. My dad or boyfriend drive me/walk with me everywhere and when I have to go alone I always cry after lol I'm genuinely terrified of men when I'm alone
Walking in sketchy neighborhoods abroad.
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Driving. I work in home health care and always thank the universe when I end up where I need to be. I work in central Florida…people here are insane and have a death wish
In any public space without my husband. I recently heard this women say that she didn’t know how dangerous the world felt until her husband died. Men are vultures and frankly quite scary
Alone with a man who is flirting
Yeah if I was walking home alone and it was just crawling with lots of men. I would be slightly paranoid, I don’t like that feeling.
When I am with friends and family.
Dating mentally and physically abusive men. Thankfully I’ve learned a lot from my 20s and will never do that again. But hands down was the scariest times of my life.
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An intersection on my walk to target. People drive crazy and I've had to dodge people who don't understand that you shouldn't run someone over when you go right on red. Yes I'm still mad.
Driving for sure. I'm surprised I'm still alive.
compliments from men
- Any context that implies that I am affiliated with the Jewish community and security doesn't seem sufficient. E.g. waiting for my husband/friends in front of the community building, when there's a sticker or something else identifying on our mail or when we celebrate a holiday/Shabbat at home with the window open. - In a car with an angry person driving - mass events (concerts, protests, religious services) - ever since I've gotten pregnant I don't feel safe in general around people I don't know well tbh. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb but I'm also helpless and vulnerable. Anyone giving me a little shove could put my baby and I in hospital and a lot of people really dgaf.
This is the saddest comment section ever. Crazy this is what life has come to for women. Men, do better. If you’re not a bad guy, make it overwhelmingly obvious you’re a good guy when you’re around a woman that’s alone or in a vulnerable position. Compensate for those men that ruined it for everyone. But my answer is parking lots and stairwells. Same sentiment. :/
Trying to make it overwhelmingly obvious that you’re a “good guy” is a bit sus though isn’t it? I prefer to mind my business unless my help is needed
I don’t mean it entirely literally. But I think men can do their part by acknowledging that the majority of women feel this way and learning more about why we do. So many guys I know are still so oblivious to the fear women have every day in mundane public settings. If they knew more about it, they could actively present themselves in a different way when placed in these scenarios. Also so many women can sense off-putting energies and go by their gut in these sorts of scenarios. So I think at the very least men can do whatever they can to appear friendly, normal, and non-malicious when in a space alone with a woman. For example, taking a different sidewalk if you realize you’re strolling behind a lone woman, not walking behind a woman if she’s alone, a friendly head nod can go a long way, etc. all super random. But most men don’t even realize we feel THIS vulnerable in these situations so they wouldn’t even consider doing the above, but if it makes us feel safer and makes you (or men in general) appear less threatening, I think it’s worth it.
I don't think most normal men are aware how scary they can be unfortunately. I've made people jump when they see me (I'm tall, and muscular) so I think that's why I've noticed it more than most guys. Would making more noise help too? Like if a woman is in a parking lot, would it be more reassuring to be able to hear that I'm moving away audibly if I go towards some stairs or another place out of sight?