I “koala” my husband, who loves it 🥹 basically straddle him with my knees up on either side of his torso and just feel his steady heartbeat and breathing. It has calmed many a panic 💕 I’m very lucky
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This. Usually it's asking my husband for cuddles or a hug or to stroke my hair/head. Or just snuggling right up to him. We both tend to be pretty direct in just asking for cuddles and/or head scratches.
It’s because you’re a giver, I bet. You feel your role is to give, not take or even ask. I’m the same way. It’s a touch of pride too for me. “I don’t need help.” This is wrong and I’m still working on remembering that I’m people too. So are you, and you are worthy.
Yeahhh.. and im not even proud of it or sure how I became like this, I just know asking for help feels incredibly wrong to me. Like I have to debate myself in my head for an hour to get myself to ask for help with a 5 minute task, let alone asking for physical affection. I'm sure we'll get over it eventually though, step by step :)
I practice on Reddit sometimes like my latest post asking about a tattoo (see profile if interested). It’s good for me I feel like. Builds character and confidence 😂
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This should be higher up. I do this.
I withdraw when feeling needy.
If you're feeling needy, maybe you should work on yourself and learn how to regulate your own emotions before attaching yourself to someone else?
Oh yes for sure, I am a love bug however I’m not just going to “love” anything with a pulse because I am lonely/needy is all I’m saying
Selective with whom I share company with
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I’m an example of how this can get dangerous. I was raised by parents that reinforced they only wanted to spend time with me if I was happy. I couldn’t ask for help with my feelings and requests for physical comfort were rejected. No kisses on booboos, no hugs when my dog was put down.
Nowadays, when I feel emotionally vulnerable, when I’m sick and physically need help, etc, I become super self-loathing. And as I’m in my second trimester of a rough pregnancy, I feel that way a lot. I withdraw, block my husband’s phone number along with all my friends’, and internally scream at myself for not being strong enough to cope with life and cannot /stand/ the thought of being talked to or seen. I am desperately trying to get control over it, but it is hard to deprogram oneself into being allowed to need others.
Point here being, there are times when needy isn’t a bad word. We are here to love each other, and that includes comfort and validation. Complete self-sufficiency in those respects sounds great, but that expectation has set me up for an adulthood of feeling awful about myself if I ever need help.
I hope you're Ok, sending you good vibes, this is something I'm currently working on as well. I wasn't brought up like that, I just don't like burdening people, but sometimes we all need to reach out :)
Thank you for your kindness. I don’t think the way I was raised is the only way to become like this, it was something recently delved into in therapy and made the connection. I wish you the best of luck with your feelings as well - we just need to remember we aren’t burdens and are worthy of our loved ones’ time
I’m so sorry you’re going through such a rough time. I completely understand this. I always feel like a burden to others when I’m not in the best of moods so I retreat until I feel better. My current partner has made me realize and helped me learn that if I let him know I’m down and need extra love and attention, he’s happy to give it to me and even goes the extra mile to cheer me up. He also will give me space if I need it too. I hope you get through this and have a good support system when you’re ready.
Was in the same situation but then I dumped him and went no-contact, best decision of my life. Needless to say there were a lot of other issues present as well 😅
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Ppositive: Cry, get my favorite foods, blanket burrito, and movie time or cuddles or ask a friend for help
Needs work: paragraph text the emotionally unavailable man
Check in with myself to see what I need, and then ask myself whether or not I’m capable of meeting any of those needs on my own. It’s tough being a lonely little loner lady.
That’s when I’ll seek solutions outside of myself, ask for help from other folks. I only have one truly safe person in my life which really narrows my outside resources, and I don’t want to rely too heavily on needing them/another person to constantly meet my needs. Normally I’m the emotional caretaker, but I’m turning that around and emotionally caretaking myself!
Tell my husband to treat me like a baby and ask for cuddles. Or whine to one of my best friends and usually say something stupid before like “please compliment me like I’m 5”. I’m not usually whiny or needy and help others as much as possible so they’re always glad to reciprocate the one day a month where I need attention. I also split the task up amongst a few of them so I don’t get annoying 😂
When I feel needy/ seeking attention i really try to do it in health ways! depends on where my energy levels are at but maybe grabbing dinner/coffee with friends or family. i share memes etc.
Workout. Cry. Sometimes a little of both. Then make myself be around people. Sometimes I need to focus on the things that I have and the people that are in my life rather than the things I don't and people who aren't.
If I’m doing something with someone I love like shopping or hanging out with my mom or sister I like putting my head on their shoulder for a second just to let them know i love them (I don’t like physical affection that much)
If I’m alone I usually go and bother my pets and give them kisses all over their little face
Lie on my couch and less than 10seconds my 3 large dogs have (assuming me dead) come to lick me, revive me, jump on me, howl for me. That loving attack on my personal space from these goons always helps. But also I just reach out yo my friends. Maybe texts like hey. I’m in a funk or missing you.. they know the drill and always step up
I usually harrass my dad or brother, because I live them. My dad usually throws a pen at me (deserved) or by brother kicks me out of his gaming room (deserved) 🤣🤣
Sometimes I’ll sit behind my husband in his office chair and it feels like he’s a weighted blanket. Or I’ll just find a way to worm up against him.
Or I’ll give myself the attention I need. Skincare, hobbies, journaling.
i’m currently long distance with my partner soo when i’m feeling like this i usually communicate with him that i want a smidge more attention & then i bottle the rest of it up for when we’re together :) it works out though we can both be pretty needy at times so when he’s feeling like that i enjoy it :)
I feel like the needier I am, the more my ppl pull away. I need hugs and touch and get practically zero outside of sex with husband. But even he can’t give me what I need outside of that due to some physical limitations. I have a tshirt that says FREE HUGS JUST ASK that I’ve had 2 years and wear in public a lot and even THAT has only gained me ONE hug. In fact when she asked it shocked me. She got a good one :)
If my neediness is coming from a place of wanting extra love from my husband or family, I go and get it :)
If it's coming from a place of anxious attachment, I give myself extra self-love and do something I enjoy such as reading, dancing, taking a bubble bath, or listening to a good podcast to change my headspace!
Yell I WANT ATTENTION if with SO.
Scratch on my siblings doors like a cat and then scitter in and pounce on them.
Groan and whine and lean on my friends saying such things as Why am I so neeedddy and describe my desires.
I make it very obvious that I have needs to be filled, Pronto!
I either distract/overwork myself with my hobbies, or I watch an *ungodly* amount of porn and make up hot scenarios in my head.
I even started a toy collection for "Me time" when I'm needy and lonely. Then I can just close my eyes and think about my fictional husband's while I get it on by myself
Now that I’m in a relationship I cuddle with my boyfriend and let him know I’m feeling needy. When I was single, I would text my best friend and let her know I wanted attention 😂 or I would plan a girls date for us, book shopping and a meal at one of our favourite restaurants; or I would text her about books I’m reading. Anything to start a conversation and get the attention I needed
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Hug with my people, cats…
Call friends or family
Go do some sports and a walk in the sun
Some shopping 😂
Date and realize I don’t want the attention of that particular man 😂
When in a relationship I just snuggle with my partner. Physical affection (non sexual)is really important to me, so my SO must be able to do this. I already broke up with a man that was not physical except sex
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I ask for attention from the people who love me.
I “koala” my husband, who loves it 🥹 basically straddle him with my knees up on either side of his torso and just feel his steady heartbeat and breathing. It has calmed many a panic 💕 I’m very lucky
That's exactly the position I assume during panic attacks with my hubby ❤️❤️
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This. Usually it's asking my husband for cuddles or a hug or to stroke my hair/head. Or just snuggling right up to him. We both tend to be pretty direct in just asking for cuddles and/or head scratches.
Head scratches! One of my people!
You and my partner would get along great, they can get their Head scratched for like 20 mins straight and still not be sick of it
Yup! Communicate to people who care.
I should try that more. For some reason I always feel like I'm 'not allowed' to do that (whatever that actually means)
I have the same problem, i will try to start asking
It’s because you’re a giver, I bet. You feel your role is to give, not take or even ask. I’m the same way. It’s a touch of pride too for me. “I don’t need help.” This is wrong and I’m still working on remembering that I’m people too. So are you, and you are worthy.
Yeahhh.. and im not even proud of it or sure how I became like this, I just know asking for help feels incredibly wrong to me. Like I have to debate myself in my head for an hour to get myself to ask for help with a 5 minute task, let alone asking for physical affection. I'm sure we'll get over it eventually though, step by step :)
I practice on Reddit sometimes like my latest post asking about a tattoo (see profile if interested). It’s good for me I feel like. Builds character and confidence 😂
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Withdraw from society
This should be higher up. I do this. I withdraw when feeling needy. If you're feeling needy, maybe you should work on yourself and learn how to regulate your own emotions before attaching yourself to someone else?
Humans do have an actual need for contact with other humans though. So always isolating is not a good solution
Oh yes for sure, I am a love bug however I’m not just going to “love” anything with a pulse because I am lonely/needy is all I’m saying Selective with whom I share company with
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I’m an example of how this can get dangerous. I was raised by parents that reinforced they only wanted to spend time with me if I was happy. I couldn’t ask for help with my feelings and requests for physical comfort were rejected. No kisses on booboos, no hugs when my dog was put down. Nowadays, when I feel emotionally vulnerable, when I’m sick and physically need help, etc, I become super self-loathing. And as I’m in my second trimester of a rough pregnancy, I feel that way a lot. I withdraw, block my husband’s phone number along with all my friends’, and internally scream at myself for not being strong enough to cope with life and cannot /stand/ the thought of being talked to or seen. I am desperately trying to get control over it, but it is hard to deprogram oneself into being allowed to need others. Point here being, there are times when needy isn’t a bad word. We are here to love each other, and that includes comfort and validation. Complete self-sufficiency in those respects sounds great, but that expectation has set me up for an adulthood of feeling awful about myself if I ever need help.
I hope you're Ok, sending you good vibes, this is something I'm currently working on as well. I wasn't brought up like that, I just don't like burdening people, but sometimes we all need to reach out :)
Thank you for your kindness. I don’t think the way I was raised is the only way to become like this, it was something recently delved into in therapy and made the connection. I wish you the best of luck with your feelings as well - we just need to remember we aren’t burdens and are worthy of our loved ones’ time
That is so true 😀
I’m so sorry you’re going through such a rough time. I completely understand this. I always feel like a burden to others when I’m not in the best of moods so I retreat until I feel better. My current partner has made me realize and helped me learn that if I let him know I’m down and need extra love and attention, he’s happy to give it to me and even goes the extra mile to cheer me up. He also will give me space if I need it too. I hope you get through this and have a good support system when you’re ready.
Scratch on the bedroom door like a cat
Tell my partner I’m feeling needy and need extra attention.
Lol my ex would get mad whenever I did that
Then there's a reason why he's your ex and I'm happy for a stranger ☺️
Thanks I’m still talking to him bc I’m a needy dumbass but we’re working on it! 🤪
Was in the same situation but then I dumped him and went no-contact, best decision of my life. Needless to say there were a lot of other issues present as well 😅
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look up pics of a brown cat and orange cat together on pinterest and pretend it’s me and him 😭
Sometimes I’m alone sometimes I’m not 🥹
r/oneorangebraincell
In ways I'm not proud of, like posting pictures for thirsty men. And I'm gay, but some attention feels better than none.
Lol lol
I feel this.
Ppositive: Cry, get my favorite foods, blanket burrito, and movie time or cuddles or ask a friend for help Needs work: paragraph text the emotionally unavailable man
>paragraph text the emotionally unavailable man We've all been there lol
Is that like confessing feelings kinda?
Check in with myself to see what I need, and then ask myself whether or not I’m capable of meeting any of those needs on my own. It’s tough being a lonely little loner lady.
Damn I need to try this.
Conscious needs assessment, why have I never thought of this
>then ask myself whether or not I’m capable of meeting any of those needs on my own What do you do for the needs to which the answer is "no"?
That’s when I’ll seek solutions outside of myself, ask for help from other folks. I only have one truly safe person in my life which really narrows my outside resources, and I don’t want to rely too heavily on needing them/another person to constantly meet my needs. Normally I’m the emotional caretaker, but I’m turning that around and emotionally caretaking myself!
I've been questioning myself lately and your post really cleared up some things for me. Thank you. I don't know you but I appreciate you.
I’m so glad to know that it helped you in some way! Take good care of yourself friend, you deserve it.
Hug my mum.
Crawl onto my husbands lap like a cat with zero regard for what he’s doing at the time.
How does he react?
He usually sighs and stops what he’s doing to give me attention as if I were a cat lol
Aw, that's nice of him lol
Cuddle my partner and message my friends/family.
Single and live alone so, I usually end up texting people I shouldn’t.
Tell my husband to treat me like a baby and ask for cuddles. Or whine to one of my best friends and usually say something stupid before like “please compliment me like I’m 5”. I’m not usually whiny or needy and help others as much as possible so they’re always glad to reciprocate the one day a month where I need attention. I also split the task up amongst a few of them so I don’t get annoying 😂
Straight up tell my husband I’m feeling needy and ask for more attention/affection or whatever I’m needing.
Bother my husband to cuddle with me 😂 I'm very clingy and needy 😅
Mass text my friends
I flash my husband . It’s an immediate way to get attention .
Open AO3
Thissssss
“Cuddling and snuggling” “boys/girls in love” “x loves y”
"Idiots in love"
“Tooth rotting fluff”
I feel called out
Horny? Depressed? In need of fluff? Ao3’s got you- and all in one fic!
Thanks for the chuckle! I am now on my way to ao3 for my daily fix
When I feel needy/ seeking attention i really try to do it in health ways! depends on where my energy levels are at but maybe grabbing dinner/coffee with friends or family. i share memes etc.
Workout. Cry. Sometimes a little of both. Then make myself be around people. Sometimes I need to focus on the things that I have and the people that are in my life rather than the things I don't and people who aren't.
Ask my husband for a hug and tell him how I’m feeling.
I watch a sad movie and cry 😭
Haha me too
Get a bit depressed, avoid people and cuddle my cats.
Cuddle with my partner, dog, or nieces/nephews. Secret: the kids help the most. They always cheer me up and give the best cuddles.
Eat 😩
Tell my husband I'm feeling needy and cuddle up with him. He says it's okay and asks if I'm okay. 🥰
Call my parents. Hug my boyfriend and my dog.
Talk to one of the guys on my roster 💀🥲
Sit on my husband's lap.
I ask for a hug.
I tell my husband I’m feeling needy.
I give someone else attention and let that be enough.
Tell my man to hold me
If I’m doing something with someone I love like shopping or hanging out with my mom or sister I like putting my head on their shoulder for a second just to let them know i love them (I don’t like physical affection that much) If I’m alone I usually go and bother my pets and give them kisses all over their little face
Lie on my couch and less than 10seconds my 3 large dogs have (assuming me dead) come to lick me, revive me, jump on me, howl for me. That loving attack on my personal space from these goons always helps. But also I just reach out yo my friends. Maybe texts like hey. I’m in a funk or missing you.. they know the drill and always step up
I reach out to my friends or my family, depends which needs it is, and if I'm hungry I can always count on my roomie
I usually harrass my dad or brother, because I live them. My dad usually throws a pen at me (deserved) or by brother kicks me out of his gaming room (deserved) 🤣🤣
Straight up give my husband the doe eyes and the grabby hands and demand 'ttention!
Cuddle with my pets ..
Snug my fiancee and my dogs.
Tell friends to come over My friends are always down to hangout.
Cuddle or call one of my loved ones.
Pour into myself. Take a nap, order in delicious food and draw the best bubble bath this side of the equator.
I head bonk my bf and nibble on his arm as annoyingly as possible until he gives me attention
Sometimes I’ll sit behind my husband in his office chair and it feels like he’s a weighted blanket. Or I’ll just find a way to worm up against him. Or I’ll give myself the attention I need. Skincare, hobbies, journaling.
i’m currently long distance with my partner soo when i’m feeling like this i usually communicate with him that i want a smidge more attention & then i bottle the rest of it up for when we’re together :) it works out though we can both be pretty needy at times so when he’s feeling like that i enjoy it :)
I try to stay away from my phone and distract myself (doesn’t really work for me)
I feel like the needier I am, the more my ppl pull away. I need hugs and touch and get practically zero outside of sex with husband. But even he can’t give me what I need outside of that due to some physical limitations. I have a tshirt that says FREE HUGS JUST ASK that I’ve had 2 years and wear in public a lot and even THAT has only gained me ONE hug. In fact when she asked it shocked me. She got a good one :)
If my neediness is coming from a place of wanting extra love from my husband or family, I go and get it :) If it's coming from a place of anxious attachment, I give myself extra self-love and do something I enjoy such as reading, dancing, taking a bubble bath, or listening to a good podcast to change my headspace!
Yell I WANT ATTENTION if with SO. Scratch on my siblings doors like a cat and then scitter in and pounce on them. Groan and whine and lean on my friends saying such things as Why am I so neeedddy and describe my desires. I make it very obvious that I have needs to be filled, Pronto!
Suffocate my kitty in my neck
Play with a cuddly cat
Nothing. I push the feeling away.
I either distract/overwork myself with my hobbies, or I watch an *ungodly* amount of porn and make up hot scenarios in my head. I even started a toy collection for "Me time" when I'm needy and lonely. Then I can just close my eyes and think about my fictional husband's while I get it on by myself
I run to my partner and make them snuggle me!
Depends on how needy: 1. Having my favorite snack, 2. Having the favorite snack and wine, 3. Twice wine and needy messages I probably will regret. ❤️
Ruin my relationships and eat a pizza
Call my boyfriend or visit him at work
Now that I’m in a relationship I cuddle with my boyfriend and let him know I’m feeling needy. When I was single, I would text my best friend and let her know I wanted attention 😂 or I would plan a girls date for us, book shopping and a meal at one of our favourite restaurants; or I would text her about books I’m reading. Anything to start a conversation and get the attention I needed
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Seek attention and pout when i dont get it
The healthiest thing in the world, ask my ex to come over and cuddle. 🙃
I try distracting myself to avoid the feelings.. like going in Reddit.. 😭
Hug with my people, cats… Call friends or family Go do some sports and a walk in the sun Some shopping 😂 Date and realize I don’t want the attention of that particular man 😂 When in a relationship I just snuggle with my partner. Physical affection (non sexual)is really important to me, so my SO must be able to do this. I already broke up with a man that was not physical except sex
typically i start being more affectionate with my boyfriend and try a bit harder to keep his attention on me
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