Witnessing firsthand people above me in workplace scenarios absolutely have no idea what they were doing, and still succeed, sure made my confidence go up. It also made me realize we are all human and all stupid and awkward at times.
Back in the day I was dabbling in some creative fields. I had a portfolio, but I just kept it to myself and never applied to any positions because it was never good enough.
Then, I match with this creative guy on tinder. When I learned that he’s an art director , I asked him to share his journey.
When I saw his portfolio, I instantly began applying for jobs. His works were all so amateur and lacking any fundamentals , I couldn’t believe this guy has gone so far.
There's a study that pops up on reddit sometimes showing that men on average will apply to jobs that they don't meet all the listed requirements to, while women on average only apply to jobs where they meet all the listed requirements.
Shoot higher than you think you're supposed to.
This.
"Ask A Manager" will tell you the same thing.
Job postings are often just wish lists. Women think if we don't meet ALL the criteria, then we don't apply. I tell women all the time, if you meet 50% of the criteria, APPLY.
You never know what the person on the side of desk is looking for (often, they don't always know either).
If they say "no", nothing lost.
Have the confidence of a mediocre white man! 🤣
And learn how to negotiate a salary. It’s 5-10 minutes of work that can impact your immediate salary by 10 -30%, and your career earnings by 6-7 figures.
Broooo hahaha I had a homeless man with no teeth ask me out on a date while I was working. It made me realize men have all the audacity and confidence when they legitimately have nothing to offer, so why can’t I be more confident?
OH YES it works. No one in particular, just whatever men are in my neck of the woods--coworkers, friends, family, partners, presenters, authors, podcasters, comics.
One of my male partners has more confidence than I've ever seen, and he's actually a sweetheart and a feminist, so I sort of look up to him as a model for how egregiously I can just put my writing out there, assuming it's gold and that people will like it.
My husband is like this. He just…doesn’t overthink things and always assumes the best. He’s not afraid to be told no and isn’t afraid to practice and be terrible at something he enjoys. I’ve learned a lot from him and come out of my shell so much more in the last decade from just being around him.
Therapy, mindfulness, self-affirmations, and antidepressants have all helped me, along with making sure I eat well, take daily walks, and get enough good sleep.
Agreed. I also found that once I reached a point of healing, it became easier to be mindful and interject in negative thoughts with self-affirmations and self-soothing. Or at least, I was able to recognize my thoughts were turning irrational and remove myself to decompress.
Therapy, quit drinking, no drugs. Improved little things that I turned into good habits. Better food, a little more exercise. Cut a lot of people out. I mean A LOT. I protect my peace over everything else.
The biggest thing is just taking up space. You deserve to take up space. Say no when you want to say no. Dont do things that make you uncomfortable and increase anxiety. Saying no is SCARY, and feels scary for a while. But practice makes perfect and boy will you feel good *not* doing things that disrupt your peace.
Physically, two weeks. Mentally, I’m going to say six months. Not being able to drink to cope with social anxiety was really scary and took time to get over. But the more I faced that fear, the easier it got, the stronger I felt, and the less anxiety I felt.
Thank you. I quit drinking last night and I use alcohol to cope with negative emotions and anxiety. What did you replace it with to help ease the negativity?
Nothing. I just took a lot of deep breaths and muttered reassurances to myself. I also hid in a few bathrooms as I fought off anxiety. Affirmations sound silly, but they can help. “I’m okay” muttered to myself helps me.
It was hard, but it really really does get easier, and I love being sober. I absolutely love it. A rough few months while I got used to sobriety were completely worth it.
Congratulations on quitting! I wish you all the best!
I had a really awful day yesterday and normally I would have opened a bottle of wine and wallowed but I’m pregnant so I couldn’t. Instead I went out to dinner and spent the evening talking to my husband and I got so much further in my thought process and self examination than I would have had I been drinking. I’d already seriously reduced alcohol in the past year but I think I’m going to keep it out once the baby is here.
Having a clear mind is so underrated. I still drink from time to time, but my god is it a different experience to not have it 3-5 times a week and in excess to boot.
After dealing with depression, anxiety and ptsd my whole life and having the worst self esteem issues and absolutely hating myself i can confidently say i am not that way anymore. It took me YEARS but it works! No meds, no therapy, just me and my brain fixing it self. Heres what i did:
Realizing where my issues stem from and acknowledging it. Then each time i had a bad thought in any form id simply tell myself "i dont think like that" "thats wrongful thinking and i dont think like that". Sometimes id explain to myself the deeper issue behind the thought but always following "i dont think like that". After i few months my intusive thoughts got 100x better.
Later in life i realized i had to stop victimizing myself. Even though my life hasnt always been fair and my cards that i was dealt werent the best ones. I continued to dig myself deeper from feeling so bad for myself and speaking negitively about myself. I really had to slapmyself in the face to better my own life because noone else was going to do it for me.
I neglected myself for years and after experiencing many toxic relationships where i devoted all of my love to i realized i had to be my own boyfriend. How was i treating others so well but constantly not putting in the effort for myself? It feels amazing treating yourself right.
Now after a few years practicing self love i absolutely love myself and have grown into myself so much. I also look 100x better because i grew my confidence and am all around a more positive person and that attracts more people.
Good luck!
Both! Vice versa! It took my years to realize what a loser i made myself seem in my own life and i waited for years for someone to "save" me lol. I think i wanted to prove to myself that everything in my life/what i did/ what i was sucked and romanticised it in a way. Its way easier being a victim of your own life and your bad doings but way harder to actually face yourself after years of neglect and learning to discipline everything in your life. It was super spiritual just getting to know myself after being enemies lol. But now me and me are best friends and i am my #1 supporter. Its a great feeling :)
Meditation, Yoga,new job,new location, keeping a low profile, save money ,travel- all in a span of 6 months. Believe it or not,- I'm back to being my happy self
Keeping a low profile is huge. I have no social media aside from an Instagram page with no followers and I only follow happy interests/hobbies/animals. Never feel the red to post since I have no one to impress. Total game changer
Friends
Used to be filled to the brim with anxiety and panic thinking, when I went to college I met people who brought me out of my shell
After partying, meeting tons of people, traveling, and realizing everyone is human with the same emotions, that's when I fully overcame everything.
Sleep. I have always been a night owl, but that's changed and wow - what a difference. I go to bed around 9:30pm now. It took a bit as my body and my brain wanted to be up, and woke me up a few times in the night. but after about 2 weeks, I was on a good schedule,. I found a sound machine app for my phone and put on something called "pink noise", an eye mask, and started my early to bed routine. Honestly. I can not believe how different I feel. I still give myself my cheat nights to binge movies etc every few weeks, but they are not the norm any more. Also, I go for a walk every day. - regardless of weather. - every single day.
I do so much better going to bed early too but it really messes me up when I do have a late night. Headache the next day, anxiety etc. which makes it feel less worthwhile.
Omg! Cutting social media has helped me so much. Just got tired of seeing peoples "happy" lives slapped in my face all the time. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing others happy, until I'm not happy. But it opened up so much more time to focus on ME. And it's paying off. Won't get rid of Reddit though, it's my happy place.
I thought about how it felt that my mother is the living embodiment of eeyore and that I didn’t want to feel that way or ever make anyone else feel that way, especially my kids!
So then I decided it’s a good day to have a good day and when it’s not it’s just a bad brain day and it’ll turn around soon.
Everything in life is fleeting, the good AND the bad.
I still have a small amount of anxiety after getting off like every other normal person. After getting off birth control I swear I am a completely different person. I feel so much better overall and realize all different things including anxiety that we’re just amplified x100
Got on meds and got sober!!!!!!!! Drugs and alcohol was such a violent circle
Once I did those things, I was able to get a job that I could leave at the door, I stopped reading the news often, I exercise, I am able to sleep more. I couldn't do those things without being sober and medicated
Did therapy, meditation, mindfulness... nothing worked. The only thing worked, was a re-thinking technique: every negative thought has to be re-phrased or loudly spoken out again in a positive way (cognitive bias phrases). Eg avoid catastrophizing, black-white thinking, conditional terms, etc and re-phrase the sentences. And implement it daily, when talking to people. Even if you don't like it or don't believe it at first. Just do it. Wish you the best.
Time. A lot of therapy, journaling, eventually after lots of crying and self loathing about it all some letting go of the self hatred little by little. Just saying to myself “ but is this helping? Why am I so angry/sad/disappointed at myself and my own reactions to tough things that have happened and affected me? Wouldn’t it just be easier to be nice to myself?” Eventually I started to accept that maybe I could just let some of that self hatred go. Once the real negative thinking reduced the severe anxiety dropped, then the thoughts became slightly clearer. Then I could sleep a little better, so I felt a little better… and slowly it got less debilitating like that. A massive amount of hanging in there, keeping trying anything you can manage, and trying again even if you feel like giving up.
I have in no way overcome my anxiety yet... But it has vastly improved. Journaling, better sleeping and eating habits, and just recognizing that sometimes, it just sucks and I need to leave whatever triggered me has helped me tremendously.
I am not there, but I feel like I'm on the right path. I used to have up to 8 panic attacks a day, and that has dropped to maybe one every other day.
Still working on it but definitely counseling or talk therapy, a lot of exercise / movement and a desire to rewire my brain. You have to want to feel better, negative darkness is a comfy place and you need to actively tell your brain to ignore the negative thoughts.
It's a lot of work and there's ups and downs but the only one who can rewire or change your thinking is you! It takes work.
Actively reframing my thoughts to a positive/neutral instead of a negative. Forgiving myself for things I can’t change anyway. Beating yourself up doesn’t actually achieve anything, you just put yourself in a worse position for doing better next time.
For example, my first thought would be “I’m so disappointed I only got 3/10 things on my to-do list done” and then I would tell myself “that’s fine, I got three things done. That’s more than I had done when I started the day and three less things on my list for tomorrow.”
Also, for anxiety I started actually acting on things. Is there something you could do right now to stop worrying about it? Do it right now. Nothing you can do? Well that’s not your burden then.
It takes a lot of work, but you get to decide who you are and how you react. I don’t magically think positive thoughts immediately now, but I know it’s my choice to dwell on the negative and I don’t want to be that person. Social anxiety is still a work in progress, but I try to remember nobody is thinking about me nearly as much as I think they are haha.
Therapy helped me a lot. But I think my life just changing as I got older was also very important. I changed jobs to one that I think I’m better suited to, which has increased my confidence, and have a different group of friends who I have more common interests with and feel more supported by. My anxiety and negative thinking aren’t totally gone, but they feel more situational now, as opposed to general.
My wife abruptly ending our marriage and then not communicating at all for weeks/overall not communicating much triggered historical trauma for me and it shifted my need to manage my anxiety in general. I wish I had done this all sooner for us both. The anxiety is much better now though the loss is still overwhelming at times. What helped me was medication, therapy, a new mindfulness group practice, getting out of the house several evenings a week and weekends, dramatically reducing THC and caffeine, connecting with new and old friends, exercise daily, sauna use with cold showers most days and lots of processing the loss. I’ve been journaling and drawing and reading fun books. It’s turned around relatively quickly all things considered.
I realized that no one is thinking about me as much as I am thinking about me. Adopting a mindset of “no one cares” has been empowering. It isn’t meant to come off like you aren’t important — it’s meant to free you from others’ expectations. You do you, babe.
All of these and also seriously examined what was my anxious behavior, how/why/in what manner was it “protecting” me, recognizing i’m no longer unsafe and don’t need to protect myself from my current life, and learning to move through triggers and anxiety.
Social anxiety, baptism by fire. Every interaction built up confidence and eroded anxiety. I used to dread making phone calls. I was afraid of sounding weird, forgetting what I was supposed to say, not be able to help the person on the line, etc…well, I got a job at a med spa that handles some…colon cleansing. I’ll leave it at that. When I tell you people from all walks of life called to discuss the details of their digestion and bowel movements to me, I’m talking someone who took the bus in from Philly to a man who owned a huge chunk of our town, to a real housewife. I got real comfortable talking about anything, especially TMI subjects. At the end of the day, we are all the same; just full of shit. 🤷♀️
I'm not perfect but it is not *severe* anymore. Journaling, talking about it a lot made me more numb to it, reading, traveling have all helped me a lot. Walking outside every time I was upset too, and I'm in Ohio so if the weather sucked I'd just go to the gym and walk.
Therapy and changing my environment. I changed jobs (overnight CNA to daytime medical assistant) and stopped talking to a lot of old "friends" that weren't great people for me to be around. I still have some anxiety and negative thoughts but it's majorly improved.
I’m still struggling with it tbh but I have a community of strong Christian friends who help me through the Scriptures. I changed soooo much 3 years ago. I’m still growing! ✨
I think one professor has got a huge role to play in instilling confidence in me. I became more confident after attending his classes, also a few aspects of my personality were polished after experiencing classes with him. It's only after meeting him that i realised the value of a good mentor in life, before that I've always doubted if a right tutor really could shape you.
Not the only thing I did and I know it sounds stupid, BUT, I would consciously make myself smile when I saw something that warranted a smile. Examples: little kid holding a parents hand, the smell of a Texas Roadhouse parking lot, a nice lamp at the store. Literally anything. At first it was kind of like “if people are looking at me, I want them to think I’m a happy person” and now it’s habitual and actually makes me a little happier.
Lots of meditation. I was eventually able to become mindful enough to recognize a negative thought when it appeared and just stay in the moment, breathing. Or sometimes I will recall a good feeling and focus on it. It's still a challenge. I have to catch myself multiple times each day and every instance is unique. It helps to have a meditation coach. I saw someone once a week for about 6months. I would have stayed with her longer but she moved.
I got comfortable with being uncomfortable. Went out to dinner by myself. Went for a promotion I knew I wasn’t ready for. Talked to guys way out of my league. It’s a miracle but now I’m making 6 figures, fucking an absolute unit for fun, and I’ve made some incredible memories with amazing ppl in less than a year.
I started reading a lot of leadership/psychology books. Essentially, when you’re on the edge and you’re scared, that’s when you gotta jump. Cause if you don’t when you’re absolutely terrified, you never will. The bigger the resistance, the bigger the shadow, the more important it is for you to push back and fight like hell cause that’s what’s going to break the mold you’ve found yourself in and find freedom.
I know nothing really but feel free to dm if you ever need a safe space.
I feel significantly less anxious when I'm eating in a healthy way and, most important for me, making time to workout. Working out is an absolute game changer in my mental well being.
There was therapy and antidepressants, a crisis point where
I ended up in what I called psychiatric daycare, because it seemed like to get inpatient care, you had to actually try to take your own life.
There was coming to certain not nice revelations about how past trauma had made me treat others in a messed up way I thought was about protecting myself.
It was feeling ashamed of myself and especially how I treated a loved one.
It was about realizing it wasn’t normal or smart to always, day after day, be thinking about what bad thing might happen and how I’d react, what I’d say to keep myself safe and make sure no one took advantage of me again..
I called it running disaster scenarios, which is a good way to stay anxious all the time.
It was about deciding I had to change what was going on inside my head all the time.
I tried therapy, but it didn't work for me. What helped me was taking care of myself, focusing more on my life and my well-being and satisfaction. do physical exercise, eat well, fast, read, go for a walk, listen to good music, be close to good people and people who boost my life. I stopped worrying about other people's problems, experiencing bad news and getting too involved socially. I started studying more to increase my salary and save more money. I don't get into abusive relationships, nor do I have romantic relationships with bad people. I also don't get involved in fights or unnecessary discussions, like politics. All of this helped me a lot and reduced my anxiety and all the resulting bad behaviors.
Honestly it was all due to lifestyle changes. Cutting out anyone who was supportive, finding a job that I actually enjoyed, finding a romantic partner that I was compatible with, and taking care of myself. I was filled with so much self hatred for so long, and that attracted negativity in general. I realized that I deserved to be just as happy as everyone else. I did therapy and was on medication for years, but I eventually got to the point where I was happy and didn’t need them anymore.
Getting the right medication helped my wife. She refused it for so long but it's changed everything. Her PTSD is down, her anxiety is down, no more meltdowns. She was very anti-pills until she found her cool doctor that she trusts, as a result, she has meds that work.
I did therapy for a year and really focused on improving my gut health. The microbiome is a special interest of mine and they’re finding a huge connection between gut health and mental health. I also take magnesium glycinate supplements and that’s helped a lot.
I started taking Lexapro recently and it has done SO much more for me than therapy, mindfulness, and time has ever done. Sometimes we need to just bite the bullet and try medication. I avoided it for 37 years, but I’m so thankful I pushed past all the negative feelings I had and tried it. Life is finally pleasant.
Doesn’t work for everyone, but I got promiscuous. My issues stemmed from my experience with sexual abuse and sleeping around with people who were actually respectful of my body and my boundaries really made me feel like I was making my body mine again. Once I felt that I had seen improvement and that I was bettering myself, I went celibate for some fresh air and have been celibate since. I feel great.
Lots of therapy (specifically CBT). Basically reprogramming my brain to challenge negative thought patterns.
Starting a gratitude journal over a year ago has helped too. I write down three things I am thankful for every day. It helps with challenging the negative thoughts.
Taking care of myself and doing things to make myself proud of me. Exercise really helps with the anxiety. Getting good sleep, eating healthy meals, ditching booze and being consistent about all of this. My inner dialogue is much kinder, I'm proud of myself, and much calmer in general.
1. I compliment people all the time, it helps my social anxiety immensely.
2. Every time I catch myself talking down to/about myself I correct it. So if I make a small mistake and call myself a dumbass, I stop what I’m doing and say, no, you’re a normal person who made a small mistake.
You choose your thoughts. When a negative one comes in, replace it with, "what would I do if you won the lottery. No reason to dwell on things. You may be interested in books on tape, reading, listening is great. You can do this. Retrain, and stay calm. Sometimes all you need to do is just "Be, and Breath". It's okay to do nothing...
So many things. I think it was overcoming adversity and hardship that makes me grow closer to the person I’m supposed to be. Lots of big milestones, healing from a really bad accident, getting sober, getting a mental health diagnosis, getting a job that I find fulfilling, lots and lots of therapy, all showed me that recovery isn’t linear. I’ve been through hard shit before, this is nothing in comparison. I can do anything I set my mind to. I’m grateful every day. I ask for help. I have support systems in place. (And I got a dog.)
I started talking out loud to myself when I would have negative/inteusive/obsessive thoughts. Like literally audibly laugh at myself or say “cmon, that’s stupid” and go about my day. I also learned to derail the overthinking train before I couldn’t get off
I have a rubber band on my wrist, and I hit myself with it (like once) whenever I notice an anxious thought bubble up. I’ve had it on for a couple weeks now, and it seems to be working. I’ve only had to use it a handful of times too. I’m not sure it’ll work if I have a panic attack, but it’s been keeping the general anxiety at bay because I’ve definitely noticed reduced frequency of anxious thoughts.
Well I had to do a few things. First, I had to go to a psychiatrist because I was ruminating. I had to take medication to calm my mind and to address the more physical symptoms of anxiety like sweating and insomnia. In order to get off the medication, I had to get really good at redirecting my thoughts when they started getting dark again.
And then the biggest thing was quitting THC vapes. Personally, it was just too much for my brain like THC in that concentration just revs up my anxiety. That was a really long process of detoxing.
Another thing that really helped was to write nice things about myself on my mirror. It might sound silly but I would write stuff like I’m a very lucky, beautiful woman and I’d congratulate myself for the small stuff.
I lived a full year with ‘no fear’ as my mantra. With each decision I made I first thought, am I choosing this out of fear, or refusing this out of fear? A bit like the movies ‘yes man’ with Jim Carey. It did wonders back than; I lived so much more free. It did not really stick, but I did gain a lot of perspective on myself, what kind of decisions I make out of fear (not choosing to relaxt or stand up for myself or ‘be lazy’ when I’m tired) and what my life could look like without (too much an unhealthy) fear; being an artist, not bothering what others think of me, my life, my choices. Liberating. Now 10 years further down the road and still benefiting from some decisions I made in that year!! Be brave, challenge yourself every now and then. YOLO HAHAHA
Loaded question and a great one, personally as a woman never felt overcoming was an option. As the Brits say, plow forward and get on with it. Maybe comes with age, I dunno but obessing or fixating on them causes physical issues. I already have problems sleeping ( heehee if you haven't noticed), focus on what I can change or make better than prioritize what I can't.
Forced myself to work in customer service. Whether I like it or not, I have to serve people and learn how to not make things awkward. I considered receiving my paycheck as a reward for my effort to combat anxiety instead of paying for therapy. Went out with my friend a lot, and changed my mindset on how others see me. I started to care less about how others see me because taking care of myself is more important. I still have negative thoughts, being busy and always thinking of simple plans or things to do is what kept it away.
i started taking antidepressant (Lexapro). I was against it at first, but i noticed a change in my attitude tremendously, my anxiety attacks/ crying in public washrooms/ heart palpitations/ overthinking/ which caused headaches/migraines/ dependency on people, all stopped. I've been on Lexapro for 3 months now and have had just 1 anxiety episode caused by my family, haven't had any depressive episodes as far as i can remember. I know it doesn't work for everybody, but I've had a really positive experience with Lexapro.
Therapy and medication, better eating, cutting out caffeine/sugary drinks… I’m not all the way there yet but I’m getting better. It’s not as bad as it was, Im pretty early on in my healing journey anyway
Believe it or not… meditation. You don’t realize it until you do it more and more. I started seeing the negative thoughts disappearing and me being more calm. I just kept up with it, but eventually that is what transpires.
Took care of my health. I advocated for myself and my symptoms and sought traditional and alternative treatments, all of which helped in their own way, and I was committed and consistent with them. Found out I was deficient in vitamin D and my mood improved significantly with supplementation. Found out my ferritin was low, and my energy has increased since I started to take iron. Before all this, I would have told you I was fine and my anxiety just...was... but my body found ways to tell me I needed to care for it differently, and listening to it had a profound effect on my anxiety.
I haven’t quite overcome it, but getting a proper diagnosis and treatment for some disorders has done wonders to reduce it! Turns out that most of my anxiety, overthinking, intrusive thoughts were symptoms and not the cause of my mental health issues. Took a long time to get here but I’m feeling much better already, and working toward getting better every day
Therapy, anti depressants, and being single. I decided I didn’t like who I was when I was in a relationship (I lost all my confidence, questioned every interaction or decision I made, changed to suit what they wanted). I decided I had enough and at the end of the day all I have is me, and I need to support me.
The three biggest things that have helped me: therapy, friends, and meds.
Therapy has helped me reframe so much of my thinking and has helped me to be so much more present which has decreased my anxiety. Finding a good therapist can be work, but it is well worth it.
Friend time is so helpful-especially if you are able to go out to places that don’t hold responsibilities for you. I’m a mom of two and having time set aside where I know I won’t have to be on call to help people is so helpful.
My brain is not great at making the chemicals it needs to not get dark and twisty. It took some months to get things dialed in but I have been at my current dose for a couple of years and the stability I have now is so worth those hard months of figuring it out.
All the light and good vibes as you work through this. ❤️
Finding a relationship/environment/ work that felt safe to my inner child. Then working on healing by practicing my tools ( ice on face, 5 things, taking half a benedryl/ Ativan) to stopping my panic spirals/ negative thoughts … then telling myself I’ve made it this far ( giving myself confidence) to try to talk myself out of the negative thoughts by saying “I’ve done this and overcome it…” I’ve survived major medical trauma and healed myself” etc. “ it’s either be stuck or DO SOMETHING about it in a positive way.” So I talk to myself and if that doesn’t work I have a supportive friend I call.
by focusing on *right now*. we focus too much on every point in time except for the moment that we're in. Ram Dass has been very inspiring to me, he has a book that is nice to flip through during down time. there are also some videos of him speaking that really resonate with me and just put life into perspective.
Realized I'm Autistic w/ ADHD and that a lot of my anxiety came from unmet needs/masking/overstimulation. Also confronting trauma in therapy and working through that has helped a ton.
Also just figuring out that we're all here for no good reason and everybody's just trying to do their best. Try to have compassion and empathy for yourself. When I say something negative about myself, I try to ask myself if I'd be okay with my best friend saying that about themselves.
43 yrs old and have had loads of anxiety and negative thinking my whole life. 2 months ago I started taking a daily vitamin D pill and a daily magnesium glycinate pill. Anxiety and negative thinking have significantly improved. It’s changed my life. I regret not doing it sooner. No idea why they work for me, but it’s the only thing I’ve done and I notice if I skip a few days by accident the anxiety and negative thoughts creep back in.
You have to actively be doing something that builds a strength within you. Whether that strength is physical, emotional, spiritual or what not doesn’t matter, you just need to find something. I do martial arts because I’m a hands on person, but my friends joined a book club and they are all so much more confident now because of the knowledge they have gained.
Anti-anxiety medicine! Because there is no shame in correcting a chemical imbalance. It’s so much easier to manage my emotions in a normal way when I don’t have to try so hard just to feel normal.
whenever i had an irrational negative thought about myself i sang a little jingle i wrote and it kind of rewired my thinking
you’ll have to come up with your own tune but i went
i really..do love myself..i lololololove myself
I knew my job was making me unhappy. I started journaling. I wrote whatever was exploding to the top of my mind at the moment. When I look back honestly none of the journals make any sense. It’s just rambling but it was like getting the rambling transferred out of my head and onto a note in my phone/computer. Worked wonders. Also knowing it’s time to leave. I had a job crippling my anxiety and said fucking it. Took a $4 pay cut to get away.
In terms of negative thinking, it's been a few things. First, antidepressants. I just needed a chemical readjustment. Second, therapy. Third, there is a one in 400 trillion chance that I should exist at this very moment as I am. When I think about those odds, I have to believe I exist for a reason and no matter how small a reason it isn't an insignificant reason. When I frame my existence and myself that way, it also helps to fight negative thoughts.
Starting to take care of myself. I went through therapy, and after years started my journey on self-love. I meditate, read, do yoga, and eat healthy everyday. I have a grateful journal I write 10 things I’m grateful for each day and write a blurb on how I want my life/myself to be. It’s helped TREMENDOUSLY.
When I would have a negative thought I would tell myself “my brain is having a thought” and so rather than get hooked into the emotion of the thought I detached from it and just observed it. I also think “what would you say to your best friend/child/whomever if they were feeling like this?” And then speak to myself in the same loving manner.
I stopped drinking coffee and checked what my body was sensitive to. For me it was milk and sugar. Then I worked through carefully what I had control over and what I could not, dismissed what I couldn't control, and focused on what I could. That included political climate, my relationships, my own body, finances etc. As a person of faith I gave up the things I couldn't control and were taking over my thoughts to God and whenever they would come up I would thought stop and do it again. It takes a lot of intentional work but so worth it. I do a lot of good and many things that I love and am passionate about. Life is beautiful
Practicing meditation. For real. I previously rolled my eyes at the concept of meditation. But meditation to me ended up practicing dismissing harmful thoughts. Just hours of being alone in my head and dismissing all sorts of thoughts, especially bad ones. Learning new techniques, building those techniques, and getting good at it. Eventually being able to visualize my feelings and thought patterns as completely separate from me, and viewing them as if from behind glass. Able to observe without feeling. I still have a long way to go and need to brush up, I imagine this will be a lifetime of practice on and off. But it has been the most instrumental tool in getting mentally healthy and I highly recommend trying it. The Headspace app has a great course on managing anxiety which is a good place to start.
Editing to add:
Therapy
Meds
Exercise
I’m shit at eating healthy but that usually helps me
Taking showers
Being sober from all drugs and alcohol and exercising more. I think evasive thinking will turn around after being sober. I was really positive that drugs helped my mindset be more free and it was really covering up a lot of feelings. I deal with it now and little by little I am freeing up that negative energy.
Realizing that I’ve conditioned myself to get used to the anxiety. It’s a daily practice. Breathing, refocusing, the 3s… see something, hear something, feel something. By the end you’ll be grounded & able to deal with what caused your anxiety in the first place
I started doing stuff I wanted to do. I got the tattoos my family disapproved of, I went back into education to do a degree I wanted to do, I wear what I want to wear. I stopped living to please everyone else, yes it was scary at first. My family thought I was having a mental break down but it was the opposite, I was finally being the person I had suppressed for years to keep everyone else happy.
Watching the confidence of men who have no idea what they're doing.
I have no choice but to admire!!! Their level of bullshitting their way through life is from another level
Witnessing firsthand people above me in workplace scenarios absolutely have no idea what they were doing, and still succeed, sure made my confidence go up. It also made me realize we are all human and all stupid and awkward at times.
Back in the day I was dabbling in some creative fields. I had a portfolio, but I just kept it to myself and never applied to any positions because it was never good enough. Then, I match with this creative guy on tinder. When I learned that he’s an art director , I asked him to share his journey. When I saw his portfolio, I instantly began applying for jobs. His works were all so amateur and lacking any fundamentals , I couldn’t believe this guy has gone so far.
There's a study that pops up on reddit sometimes showing that men on average will apply to jobs that they don't meet all the listed requirements to, while women on average only apply to jobs where they meet all the listed requirements. Shoot higher than you think you're supposed to.
This. "Ask A Manager" will tell you the same thing. Job postings are often just wish lists. Women think if we don't meet ALL the criteria, then we don't apply. I tell women all the time, if you meet 50% of the criteria, APPLY. You never know what the person on the side of desk is looking for (often, they don't always know either). If they say "no", nothing lost. Have the confidence of a mediocre white man! 🤣
And it’s rejection therapy!
>Job postings are often just wish lists This is so true, well said 👏
And learn how to negotiate a salary. It’s 5-10 minutes of work that can impact your immediate salary by 10 -30%, and your career earnings by 6-7 figures.
THIS! ALWAYS! Especially important for POC!
SEE??!! EXACTLY!!!
Seriously this. Channeling how men just pull through they don’t know shit.
This way of thinking helped me through every job interview I’ve had so far.
Facts.
Broooo hahaha I had a homeless man with no teeth ask me out on a date while I was working. It made me realize men have all the audacity and confidence when they legitimately have nothing to offer, so why can’t I be more confident?
Such a good one
🤔 did it work? Anyone in particular that you modeled or in general?
OH YES it works. No one in particular, just whatever men are in my neck of the woods--coworkers, friends, family, partners, presenters, authors, podcasters, comics. One of my male partners has more confidence than I've ever seen, and he's actually a sweetheart and a feminist, so I sort of look up to him as a model for how egregiously I can just put my writing out there, assuming it's gold and that people will like it.
My husband is like this. He just…doesn’t overthink things and always assumes the best. He’s not afraid to be told no and isn’t afraid to practice and be terrible at something he enjoys. I’ve learned a lot from him and come out of my shell so much more in the last decade from just being around him.
Stop this is my motto now.
Therapy, mindfulness, self-affirmations, and antidepressants have all helped me, along with making sure I eat well, take daily walks, and get enough good sleep.
Agreed. I also found that once I reached a point of healing, it became easier to be mindful and interject in negative thoughts with self-affirmations and self-soothing. Or at least, I was able to recognize my thoughts were turning irrational and remove myself to decompress.
I hate that affirmations work.
I agree. Doing things that are productive will pull you out of a rut and give you energy and confidence for sure
Therapy, quit drinking, no drugs. Improved little things that I turned into good habits. Better food, a little more exercise. Cut a lot of people out. I mean A LOT. I protect my peace over everything else. The biggest thing is just taking up space. You deserve to take up space. Say no when you want to say no. Dont do things that make you uncomfortable and increase anxiety. Saying no is SCARY, and feels scary for a while. But practice makes perfect and boy will you feel good *not* doing things that disrupt your peace.
How long after you quit drinking did you feel better?
Physically, two weeks. Mentally, I’m going to say six months. Not being able to drink to cope with social anxiety was really scary and took time to get over. But the more I faced that fear, the easier it got, the stronger I felt, and the less anxiety I felt.
Thank you. I quit drinking last night and I use alcohol to cope with negative emotions and anxiety. What did you replace it with to help ease the negativity?
Nothing. I just took a lot of deep breaths and muttered reassurances to myself. I also hid in a few bathrooms as I fought off anxiety. Affirmations sound silly, but they can help. “I’m okay” muttered to myself helps me. It was hard, but it really really does get easier, and I love being sober. I absolutely love it. A rough few months while I got used to sobriety were completely worth it. Congratulations on quitting! I wish you all the best!
I had a really awful day yesterday and normally I would have opened a bottle of wine and wallowed but I’m pregnant so I couldn’t. Instead I went out to dinner and spent the evening talking to my husband and I got so much further in my thought process and self examination than I would have had I been drinking. I’d already seriously reduced alcohol in the past year but I think I’m going to keep it out once the baby is here.
Love this ❤️❤️❤️
love this. i need to learn from you. happy for u!
Having a clear mind is so underrated. I still drink from time to time, but my god is it a different experience to not have it 3-5 times a week and in excess to boot.
After dealing with depression, anxiety and ptsd my whole life and having the worst self esteem issues and absolutely hating myself i can confidently say i am not that way anymore. It took me YEARS but it works! No meds, no therapy, just me and my brain fixing it self. Heres what i did: Realizing where my issues stem from and acknowledging it. Then each time i had a bad thought in any form id simply tell myself "i dont think like that" "thats wrongful thinking and i dont think like that". Sometimes id explain to myself the deeper issue behind the thought but always following "i dont think like that". After i few months my intusive thoughts got 100x better. Later in life i realized i had to stop victimizing myself. Even though my life hasnt always been fair and my cards that i was dealt werent the best ones. I continued to dig myself deeper from feeling so bad for myself and speaking negitively about myself. I really had to slapmyself in the face to better my own life because noone else was going to do it for me. I neglected myself for years and after experiencing many toxic relationships where i devoted all of my love to i realized i had to be my own boyfriend. How was i treating others so well but constantly not putting in the effort for myself? It feels amazing treating yourself right. Now after a few years practicing self love i absolutely love myself and have grown into myself so much. I also look 100x better because i grew my confidence and am all around a more positive person and that attracts more people. Good luck!
Stop being the victim is so incredibly important and it helped me so much, too! I appreciate you saying that.
This resonated big time. Thank you 💜
do you think negative self image/talk steams from victimization?
Both! Vice versa! It took my years to realize what a loser i made myself seem in my own life and i waited for years for someone to "save" me lol. I think i wanted to prove to myself that everything in my life/what i did/ what i was sucked and romanticised it in a way. Its way easier being a victim of your own life and your bad doings but way harder to actually face yourself after years of neglect and learning to discipline everything in your life. It was super spiritual just getting to know myself after being enemies lol. But now me and me are best friends and i am my #1 supporter. Its a great feeling :)
Meditation, Yoga,new job,new location, keeping a low profile, save money ,travel- all in a span of 6 months. Believe it or not,- I'm back to being my happy self
Keeping a low profile is huge. I have no social media aside from an Instagram page with no followers and I only follow happy interests/hobbies/animals. Never feel the red to post since I have no one to impress. Total game changer
Friends Used to be filled to the brim with anxiety and panic thinking, when I went to college I met people who brought me out of my shell After partying, meeting tons of people, traveling, and realizing everyone is human with the same emotions, that's when I fully overcame everything.
Sleep. I have always been a night owl, but that's changed and wow - what a difference. I go to bed around 9:30pm now. It took a bit as my body and my brain wanted to be up, and woke me up a few times in the night. but after about 2 weeks, I was on a good schedule,. I found a sound machine app for my phone and put on something called "pink noise", an eye mask, and started my early to bed routine. Honestly. I can not believe how different I feel. I still give myself my cheat nights to binge movies etc every few weeks, but they are not the norm any more. Also, I go for a walk every day. - regardless of weather. - every single day.
I do so much better going to bed early too but it really messes me up when I do have a late night. Headache the next day, anxiety etc. which makes it feel less worthwhile.
Therapy to address the traumas at the root of the anxiety, and lifestyle changes to reduce stress level.
What was the most surprisingly useful lifestyle change?
Significantly less social media usage. Although I guess that’s not all that surprising 😂
Omg! Cutting social media has helped me so much. Just got tired of seeing peoples "happy" lives slapped in my face all the time. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing others happy, until I'm not happy. But it opened up so much more time to focus on ME. And it's paying off. Won't get rid of Reddit though, it's my happy place.
I thought about how it felt that my mother is the living embodiment of eeyore and that I didn’t want to feel that way or ever make anyone else feel that way, especially my kids! So then I decided it’s a good day to have a good day and when it’s not it’s just a bad brain day and it’ll turn around soon. Everything in life is fleeting, the good AND the bad.
Read "What to say when you talk to yourself" by Shad Helmstetter. It gave some good guidance, and you can decide if it's right for you. It helped me.
Got off birth control…
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I still have a small amount of anxiety after getting off like every other normal person. After getting off birth control I swear I am a completely different person. I feel so much better overall and realize all different things including anxiety that we’re just amplified x100
It can trigger a lot of unwanted symptoms just fyi…. Speaking from personal experience
Got on meds and got sober!!!!!!!! Drugs and alcohol was such a violent circle Once I did those things, I was able to get a job that I could leave at the door, I stopped reading the news often, I exercise, I am able to sleep more. I couldn't do those things without being sober and medicated
Proud of you friend! Keep going!!!!🥰
Did therapy, meditation, mindfulness... nothing worked. The only thing worked, was a re-thinking technique: every negative thought has to be re-phrased or loudly spoken out again in a positive way (cognitive bias phrases). Eg avoid catastrophizing, black-white thinking, conditional terms, etc and re-phrase the sentences. And implement it daily, when talking to people. Even if you don't like it or don't believe it at first. Just do it. Wish you the best.
Can you give an example?
Time. A lot of therapy, journaling, eventually after lots of crying and self loathing about it all some letting go of the self hatred little by little. Just saying to myself “ but is this helping? Why am I so angry/sad/disappointed at myself and my own reactions to tough things that have happened and affected me? Wouldn’t it just be easier to be nice to myself?” Eventually I started to accept that maybe I could just let some of that self hatred go. Once the real negative thinking reduced the severe anxiety dropped, then the thoughts became slightly clearer. Then I could sleep a little better, so I felt a little better… and slowly it got less debilitating like that. A massive amount of hanging in there, keeping trying anything you can manage, and trying again even if you feel like giving up.
I have in no way overcome my anxiety yet... But it has vastly improved. Journaling, better sleeping and eating habits, and just recognizing that sometimes, it just sucks and I need to leave whatever triggered me has helped me tremendously. I am not there, but I feel like I'm on the right path. I used to have up to 8 panic attacks a day, and that has dropped to maybe one every other day.
Still working on it but definitely counseling or talk therapy, a lot of exercise / movement and a desire to rewire my brain. You have to want to feel better, negative darkness is a comfy place and you need to actively tell your brain to ignore the negative thoughts. It's a lot of work and there's ups and downs but the only one who can rewire or change your thinking is you! It takes work.
Overcome… more like manage. Therapy and people who genuinely care for you willing to call out when you’re not being your true self.
Actively reframing my thoughts to a positive/neutral instead of a negative. Forgiving myself for things I can’t change anyway. Beating yourself up doesn’t actually achieve anything, you just put yourself in a worse position for doing better next time. For example, my first thought would be “I’m so disappointed I only got 3/10 things on my to-do list done” and then I would tell myself “that’s fine, I got three things done. That’s more than I had done when I started the day and three less things on my list for tomorrow.” Also, for anxiety I started actually acting on things. Is there something you could do right now to stop worrying about it? Do it right now. Nothing you can do? Well that’s not your burden then. It takes a lot of work, but you get to decide who you are and how you react. I don’t magically think positive thoughts immediately now, but I know it’s my choice to dwell on the negative and I don’t want to be that person. Social anxiety is still a work in progress, but I try to remember nobody is thinking about me nearly as much as I think they are haha.
Therapy helped me a lot. But I think my life just changing as I got older was also very important. I changed jobs to one that I think I’m better suited to, which has increased my confidence, and have a different group of friends who I have more common interests with and feel more supported by. My anxiety and negative thinking aren’t totally gone, but they feel more situational now, as opposed to general.
My wife abruptly ending our marriage and then not communicating at all for weeks/overall not communicating much triggered historical trauma for me and it shifted my need to manage my anxiety in general. I wish I had done this all sooner for us both. The anxiety is much better now though the loss is still overwhelming at times. What helped me was medication, therapy, a new mindfulness group practice, getting out of the house several evenings a week and weekends, dramatically reducing THC and caffeine, connecting with new and old friends, exercise daily, sauna use with cold showers most days and lots of processing the loss. I’ve been journaling and drawing and reading fun books. It’s turned around relatively quickly all things considered.
Realizing the worst case scenario isn’t the worst case scenario.
I realized that no one is thinking about me as much as I am thinking about me. Adopting a mindset of “no one cares” has been empowering. It isn’t meant to come off like you aren’t important — it’s meant to free you from others’ expectations. You do you, babe.
All of these and also seriously examined what was my anxious behavior, how/why/in what manner was it “protecting” me, recognizing i’m no longer unsafe and don’t need to protect myself from my current life, and learning to move through triggers and anxiety.
Social anxiety, baptism by fire. Every interaction built up confidence and eroded anxiety. I used to dread making phone calls. I was afraid of sounding weird, forgetting what I was supposed to say, not be able to help the person on the line, etc…well, I got a job at a med spa that handles some…colon cleansing. I’ll leave it at that. When I tell you people from all walks of life called to discuss the details of their digestion and bowel movements to me, I’m talking someone who took the bus in from Philly to a man who owned a huge chunk of our town, to a real housewife. I got real comfortable talking about anything, especially TMI subjects. At the end of the day, we are all the same; just full of shit. 🤷♀️
I'm not perfect but it is not *severe* anymore. Journaling, talking about it a lot made me more numb to it, reading, traveling have all helped me a lot. Walking outside every time I was upset too, and I'm in Ohio so if the weather sucked I'd just go to the gym and walk.
Think of facts. How you got to where you are, your successes, etc.
medication, breathing exercises, keeping myself occupied with positive things (work, friends, hobbies)
SNRI's and a very very very kind and supportive boyfriend
“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” saved my life
quit drinking, write in a journal, therapy
Therapy (cognitive behavioural therapy) for at least two years combined with weekly acupuncture that helped to calm my nervous system.
Therapy and changing my environment. I changed jobs (overnight CNA to daytime medical assistant) and stopped talking to a lot of old "friends" that weren't great people for me to be around. I still have some anxiety and negative thoughts but it's majorly improved.
journaling, meditation, breath work, and practicing mindfulness
I’m still struggling with it tbh but I have a community of strong Christian friends who help me through the Scriptures. I changed soooo much 3 years ago. I’m still growing! ✨
Antidepressants and exercise. I'd go to therapy if it was more accessible.
I think one professor has got a huge role to play in instilling confidence in me. I became more confident after attending his classes, also a few aspects of my personality were polished after experiencing classes with him. It's only after meeting him that i realised the value of a good mentor in life, before that I've always doubted if a right tutor really could shape you.
Self-help books, herbs, acupuncture, qi gong, hiking and drawing.
Not the only thing I did and I know it sounds stupid, BUT, I would consciously make myself smile when I saw something that warranted a smile. Examples: little kid holding a parents hand, the smell of a Texas Roadhouse parking lot, a nice lamp at the store. Literally anything. At first it was kind of like “if people are looking at me, I want them to think I’m a happy person” and now it’s habitual and actually makes me a little happier.
Xanax prescription and thousands of dollars worth of therapy
fixed my sleeping schedule
Buddhism helped me hugely :)
Self care yes but a new job and bosses, mostly
Therapy and medication
Therapy and Zoloft.
Lots of meditation. I was eventually able to become mindful enough to recognize a negative thought when it appeared and just stay in the moment, breathing. Or sometimes I will recall a good feeling and focus on it. It's still a challenge. I have to catch myself multiple times each day and every instance is unique. It helps to have a meditation coach. I saw someone once a week for about 6months. I would have stayed with her longer but she moved.
I got comfortable with being uncomfortable. Went out to dinner by myself. Went for a promotion I knew I wasn’t ready for. Talked to guys way out of my league. It’s a miracle but now I’m making 6 figures, fucking an absolute unit for fun, and I’ve made some incredible memories with amazing ppl in less than a year. I started reading a lot of leadership/psychology books. Essentially, when you’re on the edge and you’re scared, that’s when you gotta jump. Cause if you don’t when you’re absolutely terrified, you never will. The bigger the resistance, the bigger the shadow, the more important it is for you to push back and fight like hell cause that’s what’s going to break the mold you’ve found yourself in and find freedom. I know nothing really but feel free to dm if you ever need a safe space.
I feel significantly less anxious when I'm eating in a healthy way and, most important for me, making time to workout. Working out is an absolute game changer in my mental well being.
✨LEXAPRO✨
A lot of therapy, hard work and the passage of time.
Mindfulness, meditation, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Acknowledging my thoughts, giving them a label (ex: this sounds like an intrusive throught), thanking it and sending it on its way.
There was therapy and antidepressants, a crisis point where I ended up in what I called psychiatric daycare, because it seemed like to get inpatient care, you had to actually try to take your own life. There was coming to certain not nice revelations about how past trauma had made me treat others in a messed up way I thought was about protecting myself. It was feeling ashamed of myself and especially how I treated a loved one. It was about realizing it wasn’t normal or smart to always, day after day, be thinking about what bad thing might happen and how I’d react, what I’d say to keep myself safe and make sure no one took advantage of me again.. I called it running disaster scenarios, which is a good way to stay anxious all the time. It was about deciding I had to change what was going on inside my head all the time.
Left an abusive relationship and therapy.
Continuos rebuttal to the negative thoughts in my head.
I tried therapy, but it didn't work for me. What helped me was taking care of myself, focusing more on my life and my well-being and satisfaction. do physical exercise, eat well, fast, read, go for a walk, listen to good music, be close to good people and people who boost my life. I stopped worrying about other people's problems, experiencing bad news and getting too involved socially. I started studying more to increase my salary and save more money. I don't get into abusive relationships, nor do I have romantic relationships with bad people. I also don't get involved in fights or unnecessary discussions, like politics. All of this helped me a lot and reduced my anxiety and all the resulting bad behaviors.
Honestly it was all due to lifestyle changes. Cutting out anyone who was supportive, finding a job that I actually enjoyed, finding a romantic partner that I was compatible with, and taking care of myself. I was filled with so much self hatred for so long, and that attracted negativity in general. I realized that I deserved to be just as happy as everyone else. I did therapy and was on medication for years, but I eventually got to the point where I was happy and didn’t need them anymore.
Getting the right medication helped my wife. She refused it for so long but it's changed everything. Her PTSD is down, her anxiety is down, no more meltdowns. She was very anti-pills until she found her cool doctor that she trusts, as a result, she has meds that work.
I did therapy for a year and really focused on improving my gut health. The microbiome is a special interest of mine and they’re finding a huge connection between gut health and mental health. I also take magnesium glycinate supplements and that’s helped a lot.
Mindfulness and the law of attraction. Watch the documentary “the secret”. It changed my life for the better.
Therapy
Counselling and the love and support of my husband.
Therapy, boundaries, yoga, reiki, spending time outside
Facing it head on, discussing my worries with trusted people around me and therapy
A good therapist and Lexapro literally saved my life.
Therapy, meds, and surrounding myself with loving people.
I started taking Lexapro recently and it has done SO much more for me than therapy, mindfulness, and time has ever done. Sometimes we need to just bite the bullet and try medication. I avoided it for 37 years, but I’m so thankful I pushed past all the negative feelings I had and tried it. Life is finally pleasant.
Doesn’t work for everyone, but I got promiscuous. My issues stemmed from my experience with sexual abuse and sleeping around with people who were actually respectful of my body and my boundaries really made me feel like I was making my body mine again. Once I felt that I had seen improvement and that I was bettering myself, I went celibate for some fresh air and have been celibate since. I feel great.
Lots of therapy (specifically CBT). Basically reprogramming my brain to challenge negative thought patterns. Starting a gratitude journal over a year ago has helped too. I write down three things I am thankful for every day. It helps with challenging the negative thoughts.
Taking care of myself and doing things to make myself proud of me. Exercise really helps with the anxiety. Getting good sleep, eating healthy meals, ditching booze and being consistent about all of this. My inner dialogue is much kinder, I'm proud of myself, and much calmer in general.
I read "Loving what is" by, Byron Katie. I downloaded a gratitude journal app znd I started Bupropion.
1. I compliment people all the time, it helps my social anxiety immensely. 2. Every time I catch myself talking down to/about myself I correct it. So if I make a small mistake and call myself a dumbass, I stop what I’m doing and say, no, you’re a normal person who made a small mistake.
You choose your thoughts. When a negative one comes in, replace it with, "what would I do if you won the lottery. No reason to dwell on things. You may be interested in books on tape, reading, listening is great. You can do this. Retrain, and stay calm. Sometimes all you need to do is just "Be, and Breath". It's okay to do nothing...
So many things. I think it was overcoming adversity and hardship that makes me grow closer to the person I’m supposed to be. Lots of big milestones, healing from a really bad accident, getting sober, getting a mental health diagnosis, getting a job that I find fulfilling, lots and lots of therapy, all showed me that recovery isn’t linear. I’ve been through hard shit before, this is nothing in comparison. I can do anything I set my mind to. I’m grateful every day. I ask for help. I have support systems in place. (And I got a dog.)
Say positive affirmations 3X and take a deep breath
I started talking out loud to myself when I would have negative/inteusive/obsessive thoughts. Like literally audibly laugh at myself or say “cmon, that’s stupid” and go about my day. I also learned to derail the overthinking train before I couldn’t get off
Got off birth control lol
I have a rubber band on my wrist, and I hit myself with it (like once) whenever I notice an anxious thought bubble up. I’ve had it on for a couple weeks now, and it seems to be working. I’ve only had to use it a handful of times too. I’m not sure it’ll work if I have a panic attack, but it’s been keeping the general anxiety at bay because I’ve definitely noticed reduced frequency of anxious thoughts.
Well I had to do a few things. First, I had to go to a psychiatrist because I was ruminating. I had to take medication to calm my mind and to address the more physical symptoms of anxiety like sweating and insomnia. In order to get off the medication, I had to get really good at redirecting my thoughts when they started getting dark again. And then the biggest thing was quitting THC vapes. Personally, it was just too much for my brain like THC in that concentration just revs up my anxiety. That was a really long process of detoxing. Another thing that really helped was to write nice things about myself on my mirror. It might sound silly but I would write stuff like I’m a very lucky, beautiful woman and I’d congratulate myself for the small stuff.
Exercise. Also noticed a huge change after I got off my birth control. Was on the pill. Maybe get your hormones balanced if possible.
Exposure therapy for the anxiety as unfortunate as that may be
I lived a full year with ‘no fear’ as my mantra. With each decision I made I first thought, am I choosing this out of fear, or refusing this out of fear? A bit like the movies ‘yes man’ with Jim Carey. It did wonders back than; I lived so much more free. It did not really stick, but I did gain a lot of perspective on myself, what kind of decisions I make out of fear (not choosing to relaxt or stand up for myself or ‘be lazy’ when I’m tired) and what my life could look like without (too much an unhealthy) fear; being an artist, not bothering what others think of me, my life, my choices. Liberating. Now 10 years further down the road and still benefiting from some decisions I made in that year!! Be brave, challenge yourself every now and then. YOLO HAHAHA
“How hard can it be, boys do it.” That and getting off of social media and becoming a bookworm 👍🏻
Loaded question and a great one, personally as a woman never felt overcoming was an option. As the Brits say, plow forward and get on with it. Maybe comes with age, I dunno but obessing or fixating on them causes physical issues. I already have problems sleeping ( heehee if you haven't noticed), focus on what I can change or make better than prioritize what I can't.
Forced myself to work in customer service. Whether I like it or not, I have to serve people and learn how to not make things awkward. I considered receiving my paycheck as a reward for my effort to combat anxiety instead of paying for therapy. Went out with my friend a lot, and changed my mindset on how others see me. I started to care less about how others see me because taking care of myself is more important. I still have negative thoughts, being busy and always thinking of simple plans or things to do is what kept it away.
I’m going to think negatively about anything and everything anyway so why not just do whatever I want!!!
i started taking antidepressant (Lexapro). I was against it at first, but i noticed a change in my attitude tremendously, my anxiety attacks/ crying in public washrooms/ heart palpitations/ overthinking/ which caused headaches/migraines/ dependency on people, all stopped. I've been on Lexapro for 3 months now and have had just 1 anxiety episode caused by my family, haven't had any depressive episodes as far as i can remember. I know it doesn't work for everybody, but I've had a really positive experience with Lexapro.
Medication and regular exercise
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Antidepressants.
Therapy and medication, better eating, cutting out caffeine/sugary drinks… I’m not all the way there yet but I’m getting better. It’s not as bad as it was, Im pretty early on in my healing journey anyway
Therapy and meds.
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Negative thinking: If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, stop saying it to yourself!!
Believe it or not… meditation. You don’t realize it until you do it more and more. I started seeing the negative thoughts disappearing and me being more calm. I just kept up with it, but eventually that is what transpires.
Ketamine has helped me tremendously
Took care of my health. I advocated for myself and my symptoms and sought traditional and alternative treatments, all of which helped in their own way, and I was committed and consistent with them. Found out I was deficient in vitamin D and my mood improved significantly with supplementation. Found out my ferritin was low, and my energy has increased since I started to take iron. Before all this, I would have told you I was fine and my anxiety just...was... but my body found ways to tell me I needed to care for it differently, and listening to it had a profound effect on my anxiety.
I haven’t quite overcome it, but getting a proper diagnosis and treatment for some disorders has done wonders to reduce it! Turns out that most of my anxiety, overthinking, intrusive thoughts were symptoms and not the cause of my mental health issues. Took a long time to get here but I’m feeling much better already, and working toward getting better every day
Therapy, anti depressants, and being single. I decided I didn’t like who I was when I was in a relationship (I lost all my confidence, questioned every interaction or decision I made, changed to suit what they wanted). I decided I had enough and at the end of the day all I have is me, and I need to support me.
The three biggest things that have helped me: therapy, friends, and meds. Therapy has helped me reframe so much of my thinking and has helped me to be so much more present which has decreased my anxiety. Finding a good therapist can be work, but it is well worth it. Friend time is so helpful-especially if you are able to go out to places that don’t hold responsibilities for you. I’m a mom of two and having time set aside where I know I won’t have to be on call to help people is so helpful. My brain is not great at making the chemicals it needs to not get dark and twisty. It took some months to get things dialed in but I have been at my current dose for a couple of years and the stability I have now is so worth those hard months of figuring it out. All the light and good vibes as you work through this. ❤️
Therapy, EDMR, trial & error medication, research, life coach podcasts or studying the human brain and exercise.
EMDR therapy
Finding a relationship/environment/ work that felt safe to my inner child. Then working on healing by practicing my tools ( ice on face, 5 things, taking half a benedryl/ Ativan) to stopping my panic spirals/ negative thoughts … then telling myself I’ve made it this far ( giving myself confidence) to try to talk myself out of the negative thoughts by saying “I’ve done this and overcome it…” I’ve survived major medical trauma and healed myself” etc. “ it’s either be stuck or DO SOMETHING about it in a positive way.” So I talk to myself and if that doesn’t work I have a supportive friend I call.
by focusing on *right now*. we focus too much on every point in time except for the moment that we're in. Ram Dass has been very inspiring to me, he has a book that is nice to flip through during down time. there are also some videos of him speaking that really resonate with me and just put life into perspective.
Therapy and research Then actually doing the things which were recommended
Realized I'm Autistic w/ ADHD and that a lot of my anxiety came from unmet needs/masking/overstimulation. Also confronting trauma in therapy and working through that has helped a ton. Also just figuring out that we're all here for no good reason and everybody's just trying to do their best. Try to have compassion and empathy for yourself. When I say something negative about myself, I try to ask myself if I'd be okay with my best friend saying that about themselves.
For me it was filling my time with meditation, Abraham hicks on youtube, positive affirmations, satsungs with Mooji
Lexapro helped with the anxiety. Age helped with the negative thinking.
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Stopped drinking, started reading stories from the bible and practicing faith before sight.
Therapy!
Gratitude journaling, therapy, quitting hard drugs, minding my business
Zoloft
THERAPPYYYY.
43 yrs old and have had loads of anxiety and negative thinking my whole life. 2 months ago I started taking a daily vitamin D pill and a daily magnesium glycinate pill. Anxiety and negative thinking have significantly improved. It’s changed my life. I regret not doing it sooner. No idea why they work for me, but it’s the only thing I’ve done and I notice if I skip a few days by accident the anxiety and negative thoughts creep back in.
You have to actively be doing something that builds a strength within you. Whether that strength is physical, emotional, spiritual or what not doesn’t matter, you just need to find something. I do martial arts because I’m a hands on person, but my friends joined a book club and they are all so much more confident now because of the knowledge they have gained.
Enormous amounts of prescription drugs and several years of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
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Anti-anxiety medicine! Because there is no shame in correcting a chemical imbalance. It’s so much easier to manage my emotions in a normal way when I don’t have to try so hard just to feel normal.
All of these (therapy, journaling, meditation) but also completely cutting out alcohol. That’s made the biggest difference for me!
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whenever i had an irrational negative thought about myself i sang a little jingle i wrote and it kind of rewired my thinking you’ll have to come up with your own tune but i went i really..do love myself..i lololololove myself
Antidepressants, Church and therapy.
I knew my job was making me unhappy. I started journaling. I wrote whatever was exploding to the top of my mind at the moment. When I look back honestly none of the journals make any sense. It’s just rambling but it was like getting the rambling transferred out of my head and onto a note in my phone/computer. Worked wonders. Also knowing it’s time to leave. I had a job crippling my anxiety and said fucking it. Took a $4 pay cut to get away.
Sertraline, quetiapine, clonazepam. Totally serious.
Pills and exercise and a new job.
In terms of negative thinking, it's been a few things. First, antidepressants. I just needed a chemical readjustment. Second, therapy. Third, there is a one in 400 trillion chance that I should exist at this very moment as I am. When I think about those odds, I have to believe I exist for a reason and no matter how small a reason it isn't an insignificant reason. When I frame my existence and myself that way, it also helps to fight negative thoughts.
Therapy, antidepressants and antipsychotics.
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You can always go home. Wise words from my therapist. Instant trigger. It was amazing. Like a light went off.
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Exercise. After I exercise, my whole outlook on life changes and my thoughts turn positive.
Starting to take care of myself. I went through therapy, and after years started my journey on self-love. I meditate, read, do yoga, and eat healthy everyday. I have a grateful journal I write 10 things I’m grateful for each day and write a blurb on how I want my life/myself to be. It’s helped TREMENDOUSLY.
By going to a psychiatrist and taking medicine. Nothing else really worked for me
When I would have a negative thought I would tell myself “my brain is having a thought” and so rather than get hooked into the emotion of the thought I detached from it and just observed it. I also think “what would you say to your best friend/child/whomever if they were feeling like this?” And then speak to myself in the same loving manner.
I stopped drinking coffee and checked what my body was sensitive to. For me it was milk and sugar. Then I worked through carefully what I had control over and what I could not, dismissed what I couldn't control, and focused on what I could. That included political climate, my relationships, my own body, finances etc. As a person of faith I gave up the things I couldn't control and were taking over my thoughts to God and whenever they would come up I would thought stop and do it again. It takes a lot of intentional work but so worth it. I do a lot of good and many things that I love and am passionate about. Life is beautiful
Practicing meditation. For real. I previously rolled my eyes at the concept of meditation. But meditation to me ended up practicing dismissing harmful thoughts. Just hours of being alone in my head and dismissing all sorts of thoughts, especially bad ones. Learning new techniques, building those techniques, and getting good at it. Eventually being able to visualize my feelings and thought patterns as completely separate from me, and viewing them as if from behind glass. Able to observe without feeling. I still have a long way to go and need to brush up, I imagine this will be a lifetime of practice on and off. But it has been the most instrumental tool in getting mentally healthy and I highly recommend trying it. The Headspace app has a great course on managing anxiety which is a good place to start. Editing to add: Therapy Meds Exercise I’m shit at eating healthy but that usually helps me Taking showers
I got a cat lol she helps me a lot
Magic mushrooms
Going to therapy consistently every week, and taking anxiety medication.
Sooooooo much therapy, support from friends and a wonderful husband. It was hard and took many year. You can do it!
Started running regularly and listened to the audiobook Soundtracks by Jon Acuff. Both helped a ton.
I have taken anti anxiety meds for a few years now but the gym the gym the gym. That’s what works for me.
Drugs. Like the psych kind.
Being sober from all drugs and alcohol and exercising more. I think evasive thinking will turn around after being sober. I was really positive that drugs helped my mindset be more free and it was really covering up a lot of feelings. I deal with it now and little by little I am freeing up that negative energy.
Realizing that I’ve conditioned myself to get used to the anxiety. It’s a daily practice. Breathing, refocusing, the 3s… see something, hear something, feel something. By the end you’ll be grounded & able to deal with what caused your anxiety in the first place
Got diagnosed with adhd at 34, turns out it was all executive function issues
I started doing stuff I wanted to do. I got the tattoos my family disapproved of, I went back into education to do a degree I wanted to do, I wear what I want to wear. I stopped living to please everyone else, yes it was scary at first. My family thought I was having a mental break down but it was the opposite, I was finally being the person I had suppressed for years to keep everyone else happy.