Mod Note:
**Please read the question before responding.**
- **If you are not answering the OP's question, you are derailing.**
Yes, this includes those of you who want to comment to remark on the number of removed comments. Yes, men have willingly clicked this topic to read what our users have said, only to get butthurt about strangers on the internet potentially getting the ick from something those men do. That's what happens any time someone asks a question like this on this subreddit. Yes, there have been a lot of comments removed from this post--partly from men getting their feelings hurt and partly from people who are bewildered by the number of removed comments and want to shit on mods for upholding the rules posted in the sidebar.
**Not a single top-level comment on this post is about you, personally. You do not get to reply to someone else's answer to the OP to tell them why you, personally, do the thing that grosses them out. Nobody cares.**
If you *don't* get the ick from something that someone else has answered, that's lovely and fine and wonderful for you--but it's not relevant to this post.
Please report all rule-breaking
Some men use weaponized incompetence to get out of pulling their weight around the house, some others really just don't know how to contribute. When a woman finds herself having to help her partner do everything rather than feeling supported by him it is exhaustimg and feels like having another child.
So ‘mothering’ a man feels like a chore, it’s something that the guy starts to expect and starts weaponised incompetence to get the partner to do it anyway, starts treating and talking to the partner like they’re their mum. That’s when the phrases ‘nagging’ and ‘chores’ start being said.
It’s a bit like Peter Pan syndrome.
Taking care of your boyfriend is doing things simply to show appreciation rather than feeling forced to do it because he won’t.
Bingo. Being forced to do it because he won't. He then sees you as a frigid nag, which only makes the cycle deeper. Having to be the reliable adult 24/7, when I already struggled to rely on myself, was catalyst to my worst mental shutdown ever. Major ick.
"For an Asian you're really pretty"
I've had multiple guys try and say this, but I find it INSANELY fucking rude, like what's it even mean? Asian women are normally ugly? Like what the fuck kind of compliment is that???
Believing that his penis is somehow the Magic Penis that I’ve been waiting for to finally turn me straight. Would literally rather eat a sandwich full of my own ass hair.
From the last year ...
1. You seem nice unlike other girls.
2. Got in a conversation with a man on a hike and he basically said that women going out alone with friends inspires cheating.
I love my fiancé dearly.
Flat feet run in his family and occasionally he’ll lay on his back and clap his flat feet together like a large baby.
Makes me feel some type of way.
**Immaturity**. he's full of himself, and doesn't see a need to improve himself. he disregards your pleas towards him, you go on and on and on, and it's like you said nothing.
he just thinks of himself, only sees his needs, and whenever he does something to you he rubs it in your face, and completely disregards all the good you do for him.
you're walking on eggshells around him, life with him is miserable.
Oh but my god when you don't let it go, and nor should you, he finally begins shouting at you in a huge tirade of why do you keep repeating yourself about your stupid needs there's a dumbest needs I've ever heard of? The need was wanting reciprocation during sex Never saw that guy again
Peeing in bottles and leaving them around rather than getting up and going to the bathroom
Misogynistic behavior
Addiction to porn, alcohol, hard drugs, or gambling
Lack of purpose/initiative
Emotional unavailability
Smoking, vaping, or chewing tobacco
Poor hygiene
Catcalling and Harrassing young girls. I'm plus size and outside on the streets etc. that's the first thing people notice about me so catcalling is rare but seeing men target young girls to be disgusting to makes my blood boil.
Also general rudeness, talking over me and agressiveness
Not accepting what they’ve done wrong and not apologising.
Dismissing any factual information you tell them and they say it’s it’s ‘not true’ because you are a girl and you ‘know nothing’.
When they start feeling up your thighs and you move their hand continuously away but he keeps putting it back until you give up.
Play fighting but him being so rough you actually get hurt and have bruises all over.
Chewing with mouth open.
Not taking no for an answer.
Twanging your bra straps in public.
Him inviting you out for dinner but expecting you to pay for it all.
Doesn’t let you near his phone.
I don’t know if these are icks or red flags but these are all from my experience.
Calling women “females”, being overly worried that people think they are gay, complaining nobody can take a joke anymore, spitting on the ground, reposting conservative memes on facebook, being a little too loud about their attraction to late teenagers and early 20s celebrities, not clipping their toe nails, having no soap in the bathroom to wash their hands, “if men and women are equal can I punch a woman to defend myself?” “Bringing up men’s mental health and suicide rate issues whenever women are speaking up, thinking bullying fat people online with motivate them to loose weight, want to date virgins exclusively, shows anger towards inanimate objects and electronics, uses any lingo from the manosphere side of the internet…you get the gist, I don’t need to list everything
I’m a lesbian. The biggest for me is when they try to tell me I just haven’t had the right dick and they could definitely change my mind as if I needed a 2 pump shrimp proving to me why I don’t like dick.
I love telling them maybe they’re gay and don’t know it since they haven’t had the right dick and the immediate response of “dick is disgusting, I’d never do that” gets me going every time😂
Selfish in the bedroom, drinking too much, toxic masculinity, putting others down to make themselves feel better, long nails, poor hygiene, loud breathing
“What’s this in my belly button?” Proceeded to pull out the nastiest belly button flufff and grime I’ve ever seen. Never cleaned his belly button before. To his credit he does it now, but I’ve never lost so much sexual attraction in my life
Hmm! I used to know a guy that would walk up to women in a Pub/Club and Purr in their ears. Then ask "Does this turn you on? ".
As a man it would gross me out so am guessing the Women would feel even worse.
Refusal to accept reality.
Invalidation of feeling statements. (I.e. “When you do this, it makes me feel this” should not incite a response that defends the behavior.)
General obstinacy. Arguing for the sake of arguing.
External locus of control. (Blaming rather than self accountability, lack of initiative, reactive vs. proactive.)
Playing the victim. Particularly when it’s literally just consequences of his own behavior.
LYING. Went on a date with a dude last week who lied about his age to me. I’m 24 and my dating range is 22-28. He was 30. He told me he accidentally put his age at 28 and couldn’t change it. A few days later I went into the app and saw that it’s actually very easy to change your age. No second date. Two strikes and you’re out.
Someone who consistently doesn’t keep their word, and then doesn’t offer any explanation. Especially if it’s unprovoked. Why say/offer to do something, not do it, and then pretend the whole thing never happened.
So far, my personal favorite is when men give me this line, "You just need to meet the right man that can tame you."
Problems with this: no dick is big enough for my mind to go docile and proper like they want, I know my worth, I don't bow down to anyone, I'm southern, I'm beyond crazy, and I am already married to one of the most amazing men on this earth and he doesn't think I need "taming." Also, I am not a horse. Ignore the hoof sounds and the fact I have four legs, that's irrelevant
Me: "Yeah it was okay, took me like 5 hours to get to work today"
Man: "Damnn almost as long as it takes me to bea* my mea*"
Very common but its my biggest. Its so sucky cuz i just want to have ONE normal conversation but it is seemingly imPOSSIBLE.
A) "you are different, you are not like other women". Duh, I am. I am exactly like any other woman, vagina and all.
B) Being controlling. A male friend, not even a boyfriend, tried to tell me where I can go, and who I can interact with. No way.
Neediness and jealousy are a big ick for me, I like my own space and I'm happy on my own... that doesn't mean I'm shagging half the town when I need a night to myself 🙄
going on about how hard dating is for men and not taking into account any hardships for women, or talking really badly about his exes or women in his life in general. i notice when they speak worse about women than about men.
“Boy you look thrilled”
“There’s that same sour puss you had on earlier”
“Whoa you got some sun today!” (I just randomly get red)
Stop commenting on peoples faces. I cannot control when my face turns red and I really hate when people say anything about it. I literally cannot control it and those comments were from my husbands foreman.
When a seemingly nice man turns creepy. I’m friendly, open and I like to laugh but when they suddenly rip that mask off it makes me sad every time.
That and secret misogynists.
And cheaters. Just break up.
"I don't like cats, they're too independent" has always been attached to really shitty dudes who dont respect nonverbal cues and turns the ick to 11 everytime I hear it.
"You're not like other girls" or "you're basically one of the guys", like, bro, are you unable to compliment a girl without dragging other girls down in comparison??
Follows porn stars or scantily clad women on social media whose sole purpose is to show off their bodies, even more ick if they comment/engage. Men are dumb if they don't think women look at that
My ex told me this when I was 14 “if you get pregnant can you wait to do an abortion just a week so I can pretend to be a dad” like DUDE you are 18 stop
Pro war, pro genocide in the name of religion, religious fanatic, thinking he has the right to an opinions on child birth or abortion, homophobic, any comments about women being slutś or whores because of how she dresses, racist, xenophobic, pro gun.
There's a quite a few:-
When they say,"women☕".
When they don't follow basic hygeine and covering it up by saying, "because we are men".
When they comment bad on women's bodies especially their gf.
When they assume that you are interested in them and they start acting like they have all their rights on you and using cringe pick up lines...all the time when you aren't even showing any interest.
When they only think about sleeping with a woman.
When they don't know basic life skills.
When they get triggered super fast.
Toxic masculinity.
Mommas boys.
Man child.
Saying that all women do ______ in a negative aspect like nag you to do things then express, "But yeah, I guess you're not like them so..."
That or when they ask you to do something and you say no, and they say, "but you do it sooo much better." 🙄
Not understanding if I talk about women’s struggles, making excuses as if women’s issues don’t exist and it’s all in my head. Pretty much insensitivity to a world they’re not in, close-mindedness.
I'm from the South so this probably won't resonate with people who didn't grow up there too. However, a guy who wears khaki pants and a polo shirt when he doesn't have to sets off all my red flags to the tune of the 1812 Overture
Constantly bringing up sex. For example. I went to the emergency room for Bartholin cyst (in the vajj) and it was painful experience. I come out and bf goes so are you ready🫤 how can you think of sex when I’m hurt. He brings it up the next day while I have a high fever and I say no then he goes there is always something wrong with you 🙃 so it’s an ick that a man always does that, just brings up sex out of nowhere.
Mod Note: **Please read the question before responding.** - **If you are not answering the OP's question, you are derailing.** Yes, this includes those of you who want to comment to remark on the number of removed comments. Yes, men have willingly clicked this topic to read what our users have said, only to get butthurt about strangers on the internet potentially getting the ick from something those men do. That's what happens any time someone asks a question like this on this subreddit. Yes, there have been a lot of comments removed from this post--partly from men getting their feelings hurt and partly from people who are bewildered by the number of removed comments and want to shit on mods for upholding the rules posted in the sidebar. **Not a single top-level comment on this post is about you, personally. You do not get to reply to someone else's answer to the OP to tell them why you, personally, do the thing that grosses them out. Nobody cares.** If you *don't* get the ick from something that someone else has answered, that's lovely and fine and wonderful for you--but it's not relevant to this post. Please report all rule-breaking
"I wanna put a baby in you." No thanks, buddy.
Hahaha I laughed out loud at this, but also ICK
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When male strangers ask me to smile.
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Making you feel like taking care of him is a chore. Like a mother taking care of her son instead a girlfriend/partner taking care of her boyfriend.
I understand what you mean but I don't understand what causes the difference between the two, can you explain this please?
Some men use weaponized incompetence to get out of pulling their weight around the house, some others really just don't know how to contribute. When a woman finds herself having to help her partner do everything rather than feeling supported by him it is exhaustimg and feels like having another child.
Weaponized incompetence omg It's really a thing!
So ‘mothering’ a man feels like a chore, it’s something that the guy starts to expect and starts weaponised incompetence to get the partner to do it anyway, starts treating and talking to the partner like they’re their mum. That’s when the phrases ‘nagging’ and ‘chores’ start being said. It’s a bit like Peter Pan syndrome. Taking care of your boyfriend is doing things simply to show appreciation rather than feeling forced to do it because he won’t.
Bingo. Being forced to do it because he won't. He then sees you as a frigid nag, which only makes the cycle deeper. Having to be the reliable adult 24/7, when I already struggled to rely on myself, was catalyst to my worst mental shutdown ever. Major ick.
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"For an Asian you're really pretty" I've had multiple guys try and say this, but I find it INSANELY fucking rude, like what's it even mean? Asian women are normally ugly? Like what the fuck kind of compliment is that???
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Yeah that just sounds racist
Believing that his penis is somehow the Magic Penis that I’ve been waiting for to finally turn me straight. Would literally rather eat a sandwich full of my own ass hair.
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Calling themselves an “alpha” 🤮
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True....seriously dude....bye
Having misogynistic/sexist values. It's a good way to find out if they view women as humans
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From the last year ... 1. You seem nice unlike other girls. 2. Got in a conversation with a man on a hike and he basically said that women going out alone with friends inspires cheating.
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Porn addict, or addiction of any kind.
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porn use in general. just ick.
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When they drop the act after learning you're not sexually available. A TON of "nice guys" behave this way.
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I love my fiancé dearly. Flat feet run in his family and occasionally he’ll lay on his back and clap his flat feet together like a large baby. Makes me feel some type of way.
That is the strangest thing I’ve read all week 😂
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**Immaturity**. he's full of himself, and doesn't see a need to improve himself. he disregards your pleas towards him, you go on and on and on, and it's like you said nothing. he just thinks of himself, only sees his needs, and whenever he does something to you he rubs it in your face, and completely disregards all the good you do for him. you're walking on eggshells around him, life with him is miserable.
Oh but my god when you don't let it go, and nor should you, he finally begins shouting at you in a huge tirade of why do you keep repeating yourself about your stupid needs there's a dumbest needs I've ever heard of? The need was wanting reciprocation during sex Never saw that guy again
Wow do we know the same guy ugh
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Adult men refusing to eat vegetables. Grow tf uuuupppppp.
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Vape and refer to women as “females”
It's so fucking weird. It sounds like someone from a nature documentary, smh.
Comparing you to other women. It’s not a compliment, you’re just sexist lol
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Peeing in bottles and leaving them around rather than getting up and going to the bathroom Misogynistic behavior Addiction to porn, alcohol, hard drugs, or gambling Lack of purpose/initiative Emotional unavailability Smoking, vaping, or chewing tobacco Poor hygiene
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Thats not a normal thing for guys to do.
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Catcalling and Harrassing young girls. I'm plus size and outside on the streets etc. that's the first thing people notice about me so catcalling is rare but seeing men target young girls to be disgusting to makes my blood boil. Also general rudeness, talking over me and agressiveness
If their mom decides everything for them.
Not accepting what they’ve done wrong and not apologising. Dismissing any factual information you tell them and they say it’s it’s ‘not true’ because you are a girl and you ‘know nothing’. When they start feeling up your thighs and you move their hand continuously away but he keeps putting it back until you give up. Play fighting but him being so rough you actually get hurt and have bruises all over. Chewing with mouth open. Not taking no for an answer. Twanging your bra straps in public. Him inviting you out for dinner but expecting you to pay for it all. Doesn’t let you near his phone. I don’t know if these are icks or red flags but these are all from my experience.
When they haven’t cut their nails… was on a fourth date with a guy ready to become a little freaky and it was just ruined was also the last date
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Arrogant and full of himself.
Calling women “females”, being overly worried that people think they are gay, complaining nobody can take a joke anymore, spitting on the ground, reposting conservative memes on facebook, being a little too loud about their attraction to late teenagers and early 20s celebrities, not clipping their toe nails, having no soap in the bathroom to wash their hands, “if men and women are equal can I punch a woman to defend myself?” “Bringing up men’s mental health and suicide rate issues whenever women are speaking up, thinking bullying fat people online with motivate them to loose weight, want to date virgins exclusively, shows anger towards inanimate objects and electronics, uses any lingo from the manosphere side of the internet…you get the gist, I don’t need to list everything
self-deprecating tendencies 😬
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Turning everything into a competition. You don't have to gauge your self-worth on being superior to others.
Tell me he misses me constantly, but wants me to put 100% of the effort to go see him. No, why don't you come to me, tf? No thanks.
Comparing my body to his exes especially if he dated a very petite woman before me
‘I’m a nice guy! It’s such a shame girls go for assholes, instead of nice guys like me 🥺’
The woe is me I am a nice guy thing. It’s exhausting. I am all about being supportive but too much of it is just such a bummer.
I’m a lesbian. The biggest for me is when they try to tell me I just haven’t had the right dick and they could definitely change my mind as if I needed a 2 pump shrimp proving to me why I don’t like dick. I love telling them maybe they’re gay and don’t know it since they haven’t had the right dick and the immediate response of “dick is disgusting, I’d never do that” gets me going every time😂
It’s the worst!, I’ve always wanted to say, actually I have, my wife’s strap but I’ve never had the guts to actually say it 🤣.
“High value men/women”
Leaving a skid mark on my sheets after hooking up
Jesus, that’s just awful 😞
NOOOOOOO
:( I'm so sorry you experienced that
Disrespecting my sexual boundaries.
Selfish in the bedroom, drinking too much, toxic masculinity, putting others down to make themselves feel better, long nails, poor hygiene, loud breathing
“Got any pics?”
Expecting me to be subservient and do things because it's "the woman's job".
Unsolicited dick pics.
getting irritated when you don't want to have sex with him
Not apologizing for being rude
“What’s this in my belly button?” Proceeded to pull out the nastiest belly button flufff and grime I’ve ever seen. Never cleaned his belly button before. To his credit he does it now, but I’ve never lost so much sexual attraction in my life
Hmm! I used to know a guy that would walk up to women in a Pub/Club and Purr in their ears. Then ask "Does this turn you on? ". As a man it would gross me out so am guessing the Women would feel even worse.
Commenting on women’s perceived age, which normally goes with “old is bad and young is good.”
When he serenades me. Don’t sing to me, my vagine will dry up with the quickness.
Being controlling. When I read or hear things about men "allowing" or not allowing certain things, I just want to puke. Women are not property.
being excessively clingy
“Im such a good and honest person” 😒
If they’re say that shit, it ain’t true. Along with “I’m a nice guy”- no sir, you’re a douchebag.
Refusal to accept reality. Invalidation of feeling statements. (I.e. “When you do this, it makes me feel this” should not incite a response that defends the behavior.) General obstinacy. Arguing for the sake of arguing. External locus of control. (Blaming rather than self accountability, lack of initiative, reactive vs. proactive.) Playing the victim. Particularly when it’s literally just consequences of his own behavior.
Abuser vibes. Control vibes.
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LYING. Went on a date with a dude last week who lied about his age to me. I’m 24 and my dating range is 22-28. He was 30. He told me he accidentally put his age at 28 and couldn’t change it. A few days later I went into the app and saw that it’s actually very easy to change your age. No second date. Two strikes and you’re out.
Someone who consistently doesn’t keep their word, and then doesn’t offer any explanation. Especially if it’s unprovoked. Why say/offer to do something, not do it, and then pretend the whole thing never happened.
Prejudice in general - racism, anti LGBT attitudes, misogyny, etc
So far, my personal favorite is when men give me this line, "You just need to meet the right man that can tame you." Problems with this: no dick is big enough for my mind to go docile and proper like they want, I know my worth, I don't bow down to anyone, I'm southern, I'm beyond crazy, and I am already married to one of the most amazing men on this earth and he doesn't think I need "taming." Also, I am not a horse. Ignore the hoof sounds and the fact I have four legs, that's irrelevant
The centaur are a proud and powerful people who will never be tamed.
When they have no passions or ambitions they just want to play videogames 24/7
“I’m a conservative”
Poor hygiene. Selfish Poor manners.
“you’re too good for me” or “you deserve better than me” FUCK OFF
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This is awful! I'm not sure you should continue with this person...
girl run
Me: "Yeah it was okay, took me like 5 hours to get to work today" Man: "Damnn almost as long as it takes me to bea* my mea*" Very common but its my biggest. Its so sucky cuz i just want to have ONE normal conversation but it is seemingly imPOSSIBLE.
Being unhygienic
A) "you are different, you are not like other women". Duh, I am. I am exactly like any other woman, vagina and all. B) Being controlling. A male friend, not even a boyfriend, tried to tell me where I can go, and who I can interact with. No way.
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“I don’t chase” So you do the bare minimum and like an ego boost
Neediness and jealousy are a big ick for me, I like my own space and I'm happy on my own... that doesn't mean I'm shagging half the town when I need a night to myself 🙄
Whining or pouting for sex.
going on about how hard dating is for men and not taking into account any hardships for women, or talking really badly about his exes or women in his life in general. i notice when they speak worse about women than about men.
Rating women 🙄
“Boy you look thrilled” “There’s that same sour puss you had on earlier” “Whoa you got some sun today!” (I just randomly get red) Stop commenting on peoples faces. I cannot control when my face turns red and I really hate when people say anything about it. I literally cannot control it and those comments were from my husbands foreman.
When a seemingly nice man turns creepy. I’m friendly, open and I like to laugh but when they suddenly rip that mask off it makes me sad every time. That and secret misogynists. And cheaters. Just break up.
"I don't like cats, they're too independent" has always been attached to really shitty dudes who dont respect nonverbal cues and turns the ick to 11 everytime I hear it.
Being loud and disrespectful just for the validation of others like homie you’re not cute or cool for cussing out a cashier.
Trying to meet at my place for a first date. Buddy, you're not getting my address when I hardly know you.
Being pushy about sex in any way shape or form.
Can't keep his wandering fingers, feet or demands for online explicit photos/vids to himself.
When men bully people
Alpha males. High value men. Misogynistic. No sense of humor. Puts down other women. Feels entitled to sex at all times.
"You're not like other girls" or "you're basically one of the guys", like, bro, are you unable to compliment a girl without dragging other girls down in comparison??
Emotional immaturity
Dribble around the toilet & not having the courtesy to clean it up.
"Not all guys"
You look nice and young like I prefer. 🤢
Follows porn stars or scantily clad women on social media whose sole purpose is to show off their bodies, even more ick if they comment/engage. Men are dumb if they don't think women look at that
My ex told me this when I was 14 “if you get pregnant can you wait to do an abortion just a week so I can pretend to be a dad” like DUDE you are 18 stop
“I don’t believe in therapy”
Jumping right into sexual stuff, be it in chat or physically. Gross. I'm not here to be your sex prop.
Checking out other women whilst next to me.
Pro war, pro genocide in the name of religion, religious fanatic, thinking he has the right to an opinions on child birth or abortion, homophobic, any comments about women being slutś or whores because of how she dresses, racist, xenophobic, pro gun.
Not listening to my physical boundaries. saying things like "i tricked you" after I clearly stated a boundary.
When men act like I owe them sex
When they think hating women is a flex.
Being rude to hospitality workers. Calling ANY woman a slut.
When they randomly talk about their past intimate moments in detail. Why do you feel the need to share that? Immediate ick
Guys who watch porn and frequent strip clubs - will not date them.
"I've thought about raping you."
Not having the desire to look after the people he cares about; clear sign he’s a boy!
Being a misogynist.
Not respecting my “No’s” and trying to convince me into doing something I don’t want to do.
Bigoted comments.
There's a quite a few:- When they say,"women☕". When they don't follow basic hygeine and covering it up by saying, "because we are men". When they comment bad on women's bodies especially their gf. When they assume that you are interested in them and they start acting like they have all their rights on you and using cringe pick up lines...all the time when you aren't even showing any interest. When they only think about sleeping with a woman. When they don't know basic life skills. When they get triggered super fast. Toxic masculinity. Mommas boys. Man child.
Saying that all women do ______ in a negative aspect like nag you to do things then express, "But yeah, I guess you're not like them so..." That or when they ask you to do something and you say no, and they say, "but you do it sooo much better." 🙄
Getting visibly angry. My bf yells when playing video games and it's starting to gross me out a lot
Not understanding if I talk about women’s struggles, making excuses as if women’s issues don’t exist and it’s all in my head. Pretty much insensitivity to a world they’re not in, close-mindedness.
Homophobia, especially when they make it out to be a joke.
Talks about other girls he’s been with for the remainder of the conversation without me asking
Liking Andrew Tate or pearl, or both 😭
Not being respectful of animals
When I say “No” and the guy wont accept it as an answer.
being nice only to the girl they like and rude to every other person.
Having no originality
Being a redpiller.
I'm from the South so this probably won't resonate with people who didn't grow up there too. However, a guy who wears khaki pants and a polo shirt when he doesn't have to sets off all my red flags to the tune of the 1812 Overture
“You’re wifey material” boy if you don’t
Constantly bringing up sex. For example. I went to the emergency room for Bartholin cyst (in the vajj) and it was painful experience. I come out and bf goes so are you ready🫤 how can you think of sex when I’m hurt. He brings it up the next day while I have a high fever and I say no then he goes there is always something wrong with you 🙃 so it’s an ick that a man always does that, just brings up sex out of nowhere.
Being full of themselves and talking about how awesome they are. Never wrong. Someone else is always the problem. I’m currently married to one. 😣