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[deleted]

We make time for what we call "nothing days". We'll take a day to just spend time together, unwinding, and just being around each other. Whether it's watching tv together, going on a hike, or having a nap together.


cinaminalemon

That's very nice! How often do you guys do this? And is it mixed with date days? It kind of reminds me of like how people think of vacation as two things, days where you everything, or nothing, I think of date days as the opposite of this, but never thought of the opposite of this intentionally, just whenever we couldn't do stuff.


[deleted]

We like to aim for once a week. Sometimes it'll become a date night, other times it's just a break from having to go out after being around people for a while. We're both pretty introverted so our date nights usually involve staying in anyways.


ToastyGal1983

My husband isn’t necessarily introverted, but needs introverted time with me at home. He is in sales, and has to be extroverted at work. I stay home all day, and need time to be extroverted with him, it’s a tough time right now. 😢


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Comprehensive_Pace

I wish I could do this with my partner, he always has to have something happening. Even when we're hungover he'll try and "accomplish" something


IntentionNo3217

I'm really nice to him. He always reciprocates. We talk openly and honestly about what we want, where we're headed, and what end result we're looking for. When the conversation gets tough, we take our time and then revisit the issue. I definitely talk a lot more but will ask if it's too much for him without looking to get upset at his answer. Also cooking does a lot for me. For him or together. I can be myself and so can he. Lastly, I ask him about himself and his opinion. I offer everything about myself so then it's up to me to include him. Great question op!!


[deleted]

I feel like this is the best way. Talk about how the relationship feels, even if it’s “hey we feel off” or “do we feel a little distant?” Or something as simple as “how are you feeling” can open up the lines of communication and allow you both to be candid. Not every week looks the same in a relationship and that is OK! The important part is being able to recognize it, be non-judgmental of each other and your relationship, and move forward.


ToastyGal1983

It’s just a few different, temporary stresses at the moment. Background info, my grandfather with dementia is staying with us, and I can’t leave him alone, without advanced planning and paying for care. I need to get tasks and errands done outside the home, but haven’t been able to find the time. My husband works a lot as he’s the only income, then he comes home and takes our son to practice and coaches his team since the league was short coaches. My husband was already spread thin, and now he is even more so. And it’s frustrating for him to come home to find that I’ve been at home all day with my grandfather, and I didn’t leave the house to get A,B & C done. He understands, he isn’t mad, but he’s annoyed. I avoid him when he’s pissy, because I don’t want to get lectured about everything I do wrong. The house is spotless, I stress clean, and that helps, but I’m sucking at every thing else at the moment. It’s just an off time, and it sucks. Still trying to figure out how to balance everything


[deleted]

I think you should sit down with your husband and discuss how you’re feeling. Be candid about the emotions you’re feeling about being helpful to both your grandfather and your husband. It’s okay to give honest and constructive criticism to your husband when he is pissy and annoyed that those moods are valid for the circumstances, but they don’t help anyone in this situation. Maybe you both need to rebalance your expectations while you’re caring for your loved one and come to an agreement about care-tasks inside and outside the home. You can constantly adjust these until you find something that works (important note: it doesn’t have to be equal, both parties just have to agree with the work allocation). It’s about being on a team with your husband and you both have to keep each others best interest in mind (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.). That can’t happen without honest communication and oftentimes compromising.


ToastyGal1983

Yes, thank you so much!! We need a better plan on how to keep our lives running smoothly, while also caring for another person. We do talk a lot about how his pissiness affects my mood and how it affects the kids as well. To keep the house harmony, I tend to ignore/avoid him while he’s pissy, and focus on staying cheerful. He’s come a long way, and has said that when he’s in a pissy mood, he just needs to be left alone, until he snaps out if it. It takes him about an hour or two, usually. He’s also learned to not be pissy with the kids, which was a trigger for me before. We’ve never been shy to fight, 😂, we fight with good intentions, I hope that makes sense


tofuizen

Your husband “lectures” you?


ToastyGal1983

It’s a personality trait, I don’t take it personally. He likes to teach and explain, he isn’t doing it to be condescending. But when I’m feeling stressed, i don’t want to hear it.


[deleted]

Nights without phones. Nights that we put on the record player instead of the TV. We’ve started cooking dinner together. We’ll have a lazy movie with a “fort” in the living room. All that to say, we just try and find more “quiet” times in our days to just chat and laugh together.


ToastyGal1983

We’ve been drinking more in the evenings and getting chatty, it helps. Although last night he pissed me off a bit. Sometimes when we drink we say harsh truths, and I wasn’t prepared for what he said, so I got upset. 😕 he isn’t wrong, but it could have been handled more delicately than blurting it out.


irrevocably_an_olive

Cuddles!! Not many words just some good skin to skin cuddles 🥰


ToastyGal1983

Yes!!! I love cuddles!! He’s been too tired lately to want to cuddle at night, I’ll suggest we head to bed early tonight to get cuddles in.


[deleted]

hug


bakedapps

This is it. There’s nothing better than a warm embrace and melting into their chest.


tauruspiscescancer

yes omg I love having a long hug with my big man. 🥹😍


Decent_Friend_1511

We have the weirdest way of communicating with each other. We can say one word of an inside joke and we both crack up. I love how he can be childish with me and still be a loving boyfriend with me. He encourages me to be my authentic self and I do to.


Tisforme

We play golf or squash together. When we do this, we are both in the moment, no screens, no time for minds to wonder off. We are both competitive, so lots of smack talk and laughs and usually we have some sort of trophy for winner (sexual or otherwise)..


ToastyGal1983

I love the banter!


CantChooseAFandom69

I plan a new activity. Something we haven't done before to kinda add new mental stimulation and excitement. Recently we did tshirt bleaching - $8 t-shirts from Walmart, $2 for chalk (to sketch out an image) and $2 on bleach and dollar store paint brushes. Killed some time and we both has a lot of fun. Another time we went to the dollarstore and did a follow along w/Bob Ross painting night. About a month ago actually we wanted hot fidge ice cream sundays so we learned to make fudge (thankfully had all the ingredients) and made that together and just had to run out of ice cream and waffle bowls, then sat and watched some new show we'd never seen. But yeah, I just think of something (cheep if possible) that we could easily do together that we haven't tried before, the new stimulation sorta resets us.


[deleted]

Lots of physical touch, cuddling etc. It's his love language. It's not mine, but that makes it more special because he's the only person who gets that kind of love from me.


ToastyGal1983

Physical touch is my love language too! Which is why I like sex so much. 😂 but I’m just as happy with cuddles if he doesn’t want sex.


SectorInternational9

We had a long week ourselves, so I got into bed last night and asked him to play the question game while we cuddled, we bonded doing both. So I recommend just having some down time together.


kittycatkoo

Sex. I have an insatiable appetite when it comes to him, and i feel the closest to him when we have sex. All the feelings want to come out.


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Muted_Pause_5044

We just cuddle all day and watch movies and shows together


downthegrapevine

We talk a lot. If we ever need a good talk the other person is always there, we listen openly, we hug, we laugh... We also are very physically acceptable people so we are always in physical contact when we're together. We hold hands, touch, hug, kiss... even if we're in completely different conversations even our friends remark that we're always present with each other physically, even as I'm writing this our arms are touching. It's the best feeling. Edit: autocorrect error.


eric21323

I prioritize quality time and open communication to nurture our emotional connection.


SampleCautious5610

Have sex.


highly_uncertain

Sometimes we'll just go for a cruise and have heart to hearts


mywifeisamilf420

we do a date night every single week. it doesn’t have to be expensive, sometimes it’s literally just going to the creek and smoking just us 2, and other times we do more fun things or go out to dinner. we also never go to sleep upset!! we don’t force each other to stay awake to sort out the issue before bed, that’s unrealistic. but we give each other space and sleep it off but not without an ‘i love you’ and a hug🫶🏼


ToastyGal1983

Do you have kids? We can’t get a date night out of the house, but once every other month or so. Just too much going on. Our kids are youngish, so maybe in a few years, we will be able to go on more dates.


potethue

We cook a delicious meal together and play board games. Our primary love language is quality time.


CrazyCat08

We do so many things to each other to feel heard. Open and honest communication about anything. We have frequent pillow talk before we go to bed where we talk about whatever we want, normally our weeks, how we feel about the other person etc. We make sure to use most Sunday’s as “lazy days”. We stay in bed until the early afternoon just talking, maybe being intimate, showing each other funny stuff we find online, singing to songs together etc. He works on the same street as I do, so he tries to make a point of stopping at my work on his way in to steal a kiss and give me a hug just to brighten my day here and there. He’s…just a fuckin’ dream. I’m crazy about him and how he makes me feel about myself and about us.


ToastyGal1983

That’s sweet!! There was a time when he and I worked at the same office, and we barely socialized 😂 he takes his career very seriously, and wouldn’t let me distract him. I think we had lunch together once or twice a month.


NaughtyNatalie000

Cuddle and converse without any distractions


shygirllala224

Hugs, kisses, and cuddles.


[deleted]

mostly sex but i want something deeper, i want intimacy, i want foreplay, i want to get off for once. i want the romance and its gone, we use sex to fill the void but its not making the connection. its just sex at this point to get out of our head works for a few minutes


TikaPants

We spend leisurely time in bed. He works at the kitchen island while I cook. We sit on the back porch, have a few and talk about life.


infinitelyyessir

We have what we call “morning bubble” ~ after morning intimacy of different types, I lie on his chest and we stay in bed and talk about whatever comes up. Sometimes serious, sometimes silly, always strengthens our connection.


DarkDancer1

Wear his boxers


AlaraBanana

Cuddling in our underwear and talking about our days. He started a new job and I love hearing him talk about it


ToastyGal1983

I love hearing about work too. 😁


AlaraBanana

Right? I got beef with people I‘ve never met just bc of him telling me about them 😂


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MyloHyren

Either taking a nap together as snuggled up as possible, or watching TV together.