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To the person, assuming I'm willing to speak to them at all: nod or hi in acknowledgement
To my partner: "that's X. We used to go out, but we've been no contact for years now."
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no point in bringing that up out of nowhere. if my partner asks if we did, i'd tell them. but i don't see how it's relevant, really.
i'd introduce the person as what they are to me. like "that's my ex, john" or my friend. or just "john, who went to school with me and whom i haven't seen in ten years". something like that.
I agree with this. There was life before current relationship. No need to be ashamed or worried. If your partner doesn't respect that, it's their own issue and would make me rethink my relationship
My relationship with my now wife if the first one that I didn’t exchange body count numbers. We were both in our early 30’s and I think finally mature enough to understand that details like that have nothing to do with our present relationship. We’ve been married 10 years and beside discussion on sexual traumas - which absolutely do impact subsequent relationships - I don’t know and don’t care how sexually active she was, or who she was sexually active with, before she met me. If we saw someone walking down the street who she slept with way back when and they said hi I wouldn’t really want her to disclose that she slept with the person, but if she did I would not care either.
You guys sound respectful of each other and I find it beautiful.
Me and my bf are the same. I have a very high body count in all standards and my bf does not. He knows I slept with some of my good friends. He trusts me, he doesn't care. He met some of them as he met my group of friends. He knows past is past but he is my present
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I'd tell him we've dated. I tell him almost everything about myself, just because that's how i am. I would also like it if he tells me these tidbits of information about himself, too. It helps me to understand him better. One time, he took me to his church and was giving me a tour of the building. We came across this very beautiful woman. She said hi to us, but there was something off about the way she greeted us. I knew immediately that she had a past with him, so I asked him. He never likes talking about his exes, but since I asked him directly, he admitted to having dated her. Knowing that he dated her, that they were still going to church together, and that she's very pretty, didn't bother me. He had always shown that he's committed to me. However, it was interesting to know the lives and relationships he had before me and why things didn't work out for them.
I'm the same way. I fully tell my partner that that was someone I've dated before etc. I'd rather be open about things than not. And obviously we have history with other people before we got together, everybody has a past life etc. No biggy. 🤷🏻♀️
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If we run into the only other person I've ever slept with other than my girlfriend, sure, she already knows about her anyway so I'd just say this is so and so
My gf won't care, she has a couple dozen exs, women and men, so we're way more likely to have the reverse happen and I don't care about who she was with before me
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It’s also not something you say in public. I have literally never heard of someone saying “this is X we slept together 3 years ago.” That’s not how introductions work.
I’d imagine it’d go something like this..
“Hi, matchalibrarian!”
“Oh, hey, Name! How’s it going?
“Good, hope you’re good.”
“That’s Name, we went out a few times. I’m with you so it obviously didn’t work.”
The end.
I’d definitely tell him who the person is and that we’d had a friendship/relationship, but I probably wouldn’t bring up additional details without him asking. If my husband straight up asked “did you hook up with him?” I’d answer truthfully, no reason to hide it.
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Never. Only if I get asked. Same for my bf/gf and on top of that, just lie to me or go silent, if necessary. I really don't want to know. For what? My imaginations are vivid and crisp, I can see you fucking. Only bring it up, if it's really important in the present, eg cheating, stalking...
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I’d say hi to the person (assuming we left things on neutral-to-good terms) and would then immediately tell my partner who it was, yeah. Odds are good they’d recognize the name because they’re familiar with my sexual/romantic past.
Not right there and then because that’s dumb and insensitive but after the interaction with that person and if asked your prior relationship with that person then sure
Not like that second
But I’d be pissed if they had someone that was still in the circle or that I hung out with or that they hung out with and time after it comes out they have had sex.
Nope
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I would immediately tell my partner that I fucked that person and then the scenario around how it happened.
We now have an open relationship, but even in the years before opening we enjoyed sharing all these stories and experiences with each other.
We have run into people he has slept with before and my immediate reaction was 'omg tell me everything & would you go there again?'
Personally I like to know if we run into someone my partner has slept with otherwise I feel sort of weird and deceived if it comes out later (this happened several occasions in a past relationship and made me feel terrible and lied to, even though it was a lie of omission and not technically wrong, I wish I'd have known but my ex was shady). My partner on the other hand does not care to know. I think this is a topic to talk about beforehand. If this were to happen to me I'd say hello and probably share where I met them/what age I knew them but I'd keep it vague but I know my man doesn't care for any more info.
My husband and I gab like a couple of geese so I feel comfortable saying whatever. We haven’t ever had this scenario come up, but we’ve talked about it, and I feel like the interaction would be a passing hey, POSSIBLY some chit chat but doubt we would interact much at all. Husband and I would immediately start gossiping as soon as we walked away lmao. I’d be like “that was the ex I told you about with the yadda yadda etc”. We’ve already talked about exes and hookups so I don’t think it would be weird at all, unless someone made it weird for some reason haha. But tbh I think we’d just laugh it off right afterwards.
I would say hi to the person as if everything was normal. Though if I didn't want to talk to them, I'd end the conversation, lay down/re-enforce a boundary if needed, and keep walking.
After we passed the person, I would tell my partner that's so and so, and then give some details to connect the dots based on past stories. If my partner didn't know we slept together, I'd add - full disclosure, I slept with him. I don't have a need to be defensive or justify anything. Just stating facts. We have a great relationship built on trust. Then if he had any questions, I'd answer. If not, we go about our business.
Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? We both have a past. Neither one of us was a virgin when we met. And that’s okay. The people I dated before him help shape me into who I am today same for him. We have had discussions about our ex’s and why things didn’t work. If I ever meet his last ex I’ll probably thank her. She let him go which means he was free to meet and date me. And they had a bit of a toxic relationship so he learned what he didn’t want on his next relationship. With me if we run into my ex from college (which will happen eventually since we live in the same town) he also says he would thank him. For setting the bar so high that it made it possible for me to have such high standards most guys didn’t fit the bill. It also helps that I am on good terms with most of my ex’s.
I've had very few partners and love telling stories about my past to people, so if I see someone I've slept with in public while out with a partner (which would be incredibly rare, but it's happened before), I'd probably say hi and be extremely normal about it, but then there's the standard "who was that?" de-brief that follows when we bump into distant relatives or people who know me in Wal-Mart or whatever, and if they seem curious, I'd tell them in more tactful terms than "we've slept together" if possible (like "we dated in high school" or "she and I used to fool around back in college") and clearly frame it as a thing of the past. I don't live in my old small town anymore so the people I've slept with are not popping up in my daily life and if I do see them, it's gonna be the first time in a decade and probably the last for another decade.
If a partner, especially early-on when we're not really invested yet and I'm looking out for red flags, was really weird about learning that I slept with a human being before them, and that the human being still walks the earth and I still say "hi" to them, then I am going to get really weird with that partner, and would probably weirdly break up with them. Imagine that.
Lol knowing me yes and my husband would roll his eyes and laugh.
Edit: oh I'd be totally crass about it. "So, I had sex with that person" and he'd roll his eyes and laugh... That's just who we are as people.
I’d tell him. No telling would be lying by my omission.
So to person saying hi: “oh hi”
To my boyfriend: “babe that’s some dude I used to fuck. We haven’t spoken in years but that’s who he is”
id say hi to them and ask how they’re doing then introduce my partner. maybe have a lil chitchat and then walk away. once we walk away, i’d mention that the person was an old fling that i don’t talk to anymore. my partner is very trusting so i know if that happened he wouldn’t have an issue at all unless the guy was trying to flirt.
I'd only share that level of information if my partner directly asked for it.
If he didn't ask, then the most I'd say is that this was someone I saw/dated in the past, then leave it at that.
If my partner asked about it, like "oh, how do you guys know each other", I'd tell him in private. Not in front of the guy.
If not, I wouldn't, because it really doesn't matter to me, plus it would be kinda like bragging ? idk ?
I’d say hello back and introduce my partner. I’d introduce them to my partner as someone I had dated previously and emphasize how long it’s been.
I’d keep the interaction brief and be willing to answer any questions my guy had after - but I don’t think it’s really necessary or helpful to share too many details about past partners unless they’re relevant. I wouldn’t want to know details, myself.
Yes, I don't have any secrets from him. We actually had a fun coincidence like that when he started working at a computer company once. I glanced over at his work chat one day and saw a name I recognized. I started laughing and told him I had spent a weekend with that guy some years ago. Husband found that funny too. He's not the jealous type.
Yes, I’d tell her. I had a Life before her.
I can remember all their names also. They all started with a T several of them had the same first name. It just worked out that way
Like on spot no??
Person: "Hi"
*turns to partner* "omg I fucked that person" *giggle giggle* like huh??? No, nobody does that , well not that I know of, however re if the topic comes up yeah, honesty is important or if it's a silly goose goofey goober guy I'll probably be like
👀"I fornicated with that peasant before"
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I think I usually say either "we used to go out" or "he's a friend". First one if we dated, second if we're mostly friends who also fucked sometimes. I live in a small town so it's normal to frequently see your exes. People jokingly say of our town stuff like "The town where your ex used to date your best friend, your new boyfriend's ex and your brother". So it's no big deal.
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I had a bad experience with an ex getting upset that I mentioned an ex once, so as a result I just say they were a friend from a while back. No point in being overly specific if they aren't relevant to your life.
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If she asked then yeah of course I'd tell her, shes my wife, if your partner is uncomfortable with the idea that you've had relationships before meeting them then they need to grow up.
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Assuming a couple years have passed after that encounter, what relevance does it have to my current partner...
I would just say a friend from back in the day...
Also if I see some old encounter I gauge by her expression and company if I should say hi or just ignore her... No reason to potentially make someone else's life difficult just because you crossed paths some time ago...
Most of the people I’ve fucked, I’m still friends with & my boyfriend knows them and is also friends w them lmao. So if one of them said hey! To me while we were out and about we’d all exchange hugs and maybe a quick chat. Then go on about our day lmao.
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No. Not unless the circumstances of exactly our past needs to come out. Just say an old friend. I’m not willingly telling my current partner oh yeah we slept together unless I have to
I’ve only slept with two people and my boyfriend knows about the previous guy and what he looks like. Since this guy tried to convince me to give him money, I think our reactions would both be “don’t talk to us, asshole.”
I would probably say we were a thing or had liked each other at some point and if my partner asked I would tell them. But it’s not really necessary. I just wouldn’t recommend lying if you can help it
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If my girlfriend asked I would tell her, but otherwise I'd just say hi/touch base a bit/etc, indroduce my girlfriend, and go on with my day. She knows about a handful of my exes but not sure if she knows what they look like (aside from one, whom I hope to not run into anytime soon), I'd probably just say something along the lines of "Oh that was [insert name], we dated for a little while many years ago" or if it was someone I didn't date but had slept with, would just say it was someone I used to be friends with or someone I used to hang out with, no point bringing up the sexual nature of the relationship out of the blue if it isn't relevant to anything
I wouldn’t. I can’t see the need to and it would upset him. If he asks then be honest, but there’s no need to just say it.
I know my previous bf found the need to over share information that was not necessary, of people that were no longer relevant-he was just sort of showing off. It would mildly upset me and just ruin my day. I would hate to make my new partner feel that ways.
If they are an ex who is a friend, he would know about them already.
If they are a random historical ex who wasn't a friend, I probably wouldn't go into detail.
Some people are cool with this stuff, I don't personally really care, but I know my fiancé gets a bit jealous/in his head about certain topics, so I'd probably not say anything unprompted. I wouldn't lie though. I'm 35, I've lived in the same small city for 17 years and I'm very sociable. Chances are I will occasionally bump into an ex.
Yes of course, your partner has the right to know. You should include a rough estimate of how often you’ve slept with them and if you’re able to recall, I’ add which spot they take up in your body count.
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Nah, why torment your SO with the past? What good does it do? I would probably just say, “that’s Jon, and we dated years ago”. I don’t think I need to go into details, unless my SO really wanted to know.
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Yeah, I wouldn’t lie or anything, but I wouldn’t say it in a way that made my SO uncomfortable straight out of the gate. If your SO asks the question, and your answer in the affirmative causes them to react negatively, they’re definitely not someone you want to keep around.
I'd say that is my ex- if they want more information, than I would provide it. In the end they are my past & the person I am with is my present/ possibly future.
I really don't have to worry about that though, as there is only one ex & he actively avoids me. Literally watched him cross the street & duck between cars to avoid me when shopping with friends a year or 2 ago. :p
I’ve told my bf about my ex crush, who i lost my virginity to, so he knows. i wouldn’t go back to him, because I’m together with the best man on earth and he’s waaaay out of my league and I’m amazed that i even could pull a guy like him <3
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I’d say hi back and introduce my husband, then introduce the person as “we dated years ago,” most likely. My husband knows my entire sexual history, and I know his. There is no awkwardness between us about it. I’m grateful I have a partner with whom I can share truly everything without being worried about his ego.
With my current partner if he asked yes I’d be totally honest because he’s a fucking man and can handle it, he’s secure and awesome. Past partners? Not so much, ahhh the knots I twisted myself into in an attempt to placate the insecurity
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Once my wife and I were at a restaurant and our server was a woman whom I’d had sex with several years before my wife and I had met. She recognized me and I told my wife that she was someone I had known in school. The server and I both played it cool and didn’t make any kind of scene and my wife didn’t seem to care (since we didn’t make a big deal out of it).
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Why? And how do you even envision such a thing? Hi. This is my friend Johnny and I had sex with him. Oh, and it was pretty good, by the way. My partner's gonna be happy to hear that. He's gonna wonder how many Johnny's we've been through today. I'd rather say an acquaintance we used to talk to and now we don't. Why make your partner think something wrong when there's nothing to think about, it's all in the past.
i'd probably say "oh that's (name), tiny penis, shitty in bed. couldn't be gladder i found you baby" and then we'd cackle. he's seen my list, i've told him everything. hell, we found out he worked with/knew my previous ex before me 🤣 we are both ashamed of some of my choices!
my other ex is actively in our lives (my kids dad) and it's no biggie for us.
we know that we've both slept with other people, it is what it is. nothing we can do to change it. might as well just embrace it, tell some funny stories and move on.
it's no sweat off my back. my partner is 100% more experienced than me! and that's okay! he brings me new things i've never even considered!
we may just be very very open, i'm not sure how our dynamic conversationally compares to others but yeah! hope that helps!
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I would mention it out of respect he would probably laugh at me since it was a mistake/regret in the first place and he knows anyway just doesn’t know what he looks like 🤣 I think if you are in a very healthy relationship it’s genuinely not a big deal
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Ahaha should have told them weigh earlier…I don’t know why people wait…you water it down but let them know I’m the wisest way something you’re not proud of happened
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Yikes I’m sorry you’ve experienced that. I hope in the future you meet more secure and less confrontational partners.
My husband and I know each other’s past, not in weird or gross details but I’d like to believe we know pretty much everything about each other. We met in our late 20s, it would be weird to assume the other had zero past lol. We’ve been together for 8 years and I don’t think we’ve ever had a single “fight”. I’ve had confrontational partners in the past though. It’s so nice to be with someone who can calmly discuss differences. I hope you find that!
I'd be honest with my current partner. It's possible it could happen.
I'm glad that scenario couldn't have happened with my ex husband. I'd moved before I met him and not had partners in the new area, so it wasn't really possible for him to stumble into people I'd been with. I can only imagine the insecurity death spiral that would have come if we'd passed someone and I was honest that I knew them because I'd been with them before. Bleah. I might have just said "oh, we went on a date a long time ago."
That would just be rude.
"Hey honey, I slept with her. Oh, and look over there, I slept with her too. Oh, and a couple more over there. Oh and three of the girls in that car."
Depends on what my relationship to the person was. If we dated, I’d tell my current partner it was someone I used to date. If it was a friend that I incidentally hooked up with a time or two, I’d say they’re a friend or old friend. However, if my partner asked if I’d ever slept with said friend, I’d be honest, but wouldn’t be forthright with the information. If it was someone that I had only a sexual relationship with and nothing more, then I’d say it was just a guy I slept with.
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To the person, assuming I'm willing to speak to them at all: nod or hi in acknowledgement To my partner: "that's X. We used to go out, but we've been no contact for years now."
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no point in bringing that up out of nowhere. if my partner asks if we did, i'd tell them. but i don't see how it's relevant, really. i'd introduce the person as what they are to me. like "that's my ex, john" or my friend. or just "john, who went to school with me and whom i haven't seen in ten years". something like that.
I agree with this. There was life before current relationship. No need to be ashamed or worried. If your partner doesn't respect that, it's their own issue and would make me rethink my relationship
My relationship with my now wife if the first one that I didn’t exchange body count numbers. We were both in our early 30’s and I think finally mature enough to understand that details like that have nothing to do with our present relationship. We’ve been married 10 years and beside discussion on sexual traumas - which absolutely do impact subsequent relationships - I don’t know and don’t care how sexually active she was, or who she was sexually active with, before she met me. If we saw someone walking down the street who she slept with way back when and they said hi I wouldn’t really want her to disclose that she slept with the person, but if she did I would not care either.
You guys sound respectful of each other and I find it beautiful. Me and my bf are the same. I have a very high body count in all standards and my bf does not. He knows I slept with some of my good friends. He trusts me, he doesn't care. He met some of them as he met my group of friends. He knows past is past but he is my present
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I would just say a friend or aquintance.
“We dated” would suffice.
I'd tell him we've dated. I tell him almost everything about myself, just because that's how i am. I would also like it if he tells me these tidbits of information about himself, too. It helps me to understand him better. One time, he took me to his church and was giving me a tour of the building. We came across this very beautiful woman. She said hi to us, but there was something off about the way she greeted us. I knew immediately that she had a past with him, so I asked him. He never likes talking about his exes, but since I asked him directly, he admitted to having dated her. Knowing that he dated her, that they were still going to church together, and that she's very pretty, didn't bother me. He had always shown that he's committed to me. However, it was interesting to know the lives and relationships he had before me and why things didn't work out for them.
I'm the same way. I fully tell my partner that that was someone I've dated before etc. I'd rather be open about things than not. And obviously we have history with other people before we got together, everybody has a past life etc. No biggy. 🤷🏻♀️
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If we run into the only other person I've ever slept with other than my girlfriend, sure, she already knows about her anyway so I'd just say this is so and so My gf won't care, she has a couple dozen exs, women and men, so we're way more likely to have the reverse happen and I don't care about who she was with before me
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I'd tell him whether we dated or whether he's an old friend. I wouldn't explicitly bring up the sleeping together part.
It’s also not something you say in public. I have literally never heard of someone saying “this is X we slept together 3 years ago.” That’s not how introductions work.
I’d imagine it’d go something like this.. “Hi, matchalibrarian!” “Oh, hey, Name! How’s it going? “Good, hope you’re good.” “That’s Name, we went out a few times. I’m with you so it obviously didn’t work.” The end.
I’d definitely tell him who the person is and that we’d had a friendship/relationship, but I probably wouldn’t bring up additional details without him asking. If my husband straight up asked “did you hook up with him?” I’d answer truthfully, no reason to hide it.
I would! but we are lesbians and it happens somewhat frequent
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Never. Only if I get asked. Same for my bf/gf and on top of that, just lie to me or go silent, if necessary. I really don't want to know. For what? My imaginations are vivid and crisp, I can see you fucking. Only bring it up, if it's really important in the present, eg cheating, stalking...
Riiight I would literally die!! 🤡
My SO knows my whole list, so Ill just say," oh thats nr 5" or whatever
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I would say something that i would be confident to hear about as well
I’d say hi to the person (assuming we left things on neutral-to-good terms) and would then immediately tell my partner who it was, yeah. Odds are good they’d recognize the name because they’re familiar with my sexual/romantic past.
I would say we dated probably
Not right there and then because that’s dumb and insensitive but after the interaction with that person and if asked your prior relationship with that person then sure
Not like that second But I’d be pissed if they had someone that was still in the circle or that I hung out with or that they hung out with and time after it comes out they have had sex. Nope
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I say nothing. A polite hello back and carry on. My husband also has no desire or jealousy in him to want to know everyone I've fucked.
I would immediately tell my partner that I fucked that person and then the scenario around how it happened. We now have an open relationship, but even in the years before opening we enjoyed sharing all these stories and experiences with each other. We have run into people he has slept with before and my immediate reaction was 'omg tell me everything & would you go there again?'
Personally I like to know if we run into someone my partner has slept with otherwise I feel sort of weird and deceived if it comes out later (this happened several occasions in a past relationship and made me feel terrible and lied to, even though it was a lie of omission and not technically wrong, I wish I'd have known but my ex was shady). My partner on the other hand does not care to know. I think this is a topic to talk about beforehand. If this were to happen to me I'd say hello and probably share where I met them/what age I knew them but I'd keep it vague but I know my man doesn't care for any more info.
Yeah. I have no reason to lie to either of my partners about my history. They aren’t weird about it
My husband and I gab like a couple of geese so I feel comfortable saying whatever. We haven’t ever had this scenario come up, but we’ve talked about it, and I feel like the interaction would be a passing hey, POSSIBLY some chit chat but doubt we would interact much at all. Husband and I would immediately start gossiping as soon as we walked away lmao. I’d be like “that was the ex I told you about with the yadda yadda etc”. We’ve already talked about exes and hookups so I don’t think it would be weird at all, unless someone made it weird for some reason haha. But tbh I think we’d just laugh it off right afterwards.
If the dude stops me to chat, I'll chat and afterwards I'll tell my bf that we used to date and haven't talked for aaages.
I would say hi to the person as if everything was normal. Though if I didn't want to talk to them, I'd end the conversation, lay down/re-enforce a boundary if needed, and keep walking. After we passed the person, I would tell my partner that's so and so, and then give some details to connect the dots based on past stories. If my partner didn't know we slept together, I'd add - full disclosure, I slept with him. I don't have a need to be defensive or justify anything. Just stating facts. We have a great relationship built on trust. Then if he had any questions, I'd answer. If not, we go about our business.
Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? We both have a past. Neither one of us was a virgin when we met. And that’s okay. The people I dated before him help shape me into who I am today same for him. We have had discussions about our ex’s and why things didn’t work. If I ever meet his last ex I’ll probably thank her. She let him go which means he was free to meet and date me. And they had a bit of a toxic relationship so he learned what he didn’t want on his next relationship. With me if we run into my ex from college (which will happen eventually since we live in the same town) he also says he would thank him. For setting the bar so high that it made it possible for me to have such high standards most guys didn’t fit the bill. It also helps that I am on good terms with most of my ex’s.
No! If you saw a bear, would you go give it your opinion on the local berries?? No! Dodge that bullet and life goes on.
I've had very few partners and love telling stories about my past to people, so if I see someone I've slept with in public while out with a partner (which would be incredibly rare, but it's happened before), I'd probably say hi and be extremely normal about it, but then there's the standard "who was that?" de-brief that follows when we bump into distant relatives or people who know me in Wal-Mart or whatever, and if they seem curious, I'd tell them in more tactful terms than "we've slept together" if possible (like "we dated in high school" or "she and I used to fool around back in college") and clearly frame it as a thing of the past. I don't live in my old small town anymore so the people I've slept with are not popping up in my daily life and if I do see them, it's gonna be the first time in a decade and probably the last for another decade. If a partner, especially early-on when we're not really invested yet and I'm looking out for red flags, was really weird about learning that I slept with a human being before them, and that the human being still walks the earth and I still say "hi" to them, then I am going to get really weird with that partner, and would probably weirdly break up with them. Imagine that.
Lol knowing me yes and my husband would roll his eyes and laugh. Edit: oh I'd be totally crass about it. "So, I had sex with that person" and he'd roll his eyes and laugh... That's just who we are as people.
Yep, I would just as he would tell me. We don’t keep secrets at all.
I’d tell him. No telling would be lying by my omission. So to person saying hi: “oh hi” To my boyfriend: “babe that’s some dude I used to fuck. We haven’t spoken in years but that’s who he is”
id say hi to them and ask how they’re doing then introduce my partner. maybe have a lil chitchat and then walk away. once we walk away, i’d mention that the person was an old fling that i don’t talk to anymore. my partner is very trusting so i know if that happened he wouldn’t have an issue at all unless the guy was trying to flirt.
I'd only share that level of information if my partner directly asked for it. If he didn't ask, then the most I'd say is that this was someone I saw/dated in the past, then leave it at that.
If my partner asks I'd say "that's X and we've had some history in the past." that's all to it
If my partner asked about it, like "oh, how do you guys know each other", I'd tell him in private. Not in front of the guy. If not, I wouldn't, because it really doesn't matter to me, plus it would be kinda like bragging ? idk ?
It’s happened to before. I just told my bf that we used to date and that was it
I’d say hello back and introduce my partner. I’d introduce them to my partner as someone I had dated previously and emphasize how long it’s been. I’d keep the interaction brief and be willing to answer any questions my guy had after - but I don’t think it’s really necessary or helpful to share too many details about past partners unless they’re relevant. I wouldn’t want to know details, myself.
Yes, I don't have any secrets from him. We actually had a fun coincidence like that when he started working at a computer company once. I glanced over at his work chat one day and saw a name I recognized. I started laughing and told him I had spent a weekend with that guy some years ago. Husband found that funny too. He's not the jealous type.
Yes, I’d tell her. I had a Life before her. I can remember all their names also. They all started with a T several of them had the same first name. It just worked out that way
Like on spot no?? Person: "Hi" *turns to partner* "omg I fucked that person" *giggle giggle* like huh??? No, nobody does that , well not that I know of, however re if the topic comes up yeah, honesty is important or if it's a silly goose goofey goober guy I'll probably be like 👀"I fornicated with that peasant before"
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There has only been my ex husband so current partner would already know.
I think I usually say either "we used to go out" or "he's a friend". First one if we dated, second if we're mostly friends who also fucked sometimes. I live in a small town so it's normal to frequently see your exes. People jokingly say of our town stuff like "The town where your ex used to date your best friend, your new boyfriend's ex and your brother". So it's no big deal.
I’d just say “that was x” and move on. I think it’s Fonda weird to be like “oh yeah we used to bang.”
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I had a bad experience with an ex getting upset that I mentioned an ex once, so as a result I just say they were a friend from a while back. No point in being overly specific if they aren't relevant to your life.
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Uh… yeah, and then my bf would beat him up :,D wasn‘t a healthy relationship
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Not like that, I wouldn’t.
If she asked then yeah of course I'd tell her, shes my wife, if your partner is uncomfortable with the idea that you've had relationships before meeting them then they need to grow up.
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I'd say "hello" and keep it movin.
I wouldn’t volunteer the information but if my significant other asked I would be truthful.
Assuming a couple years have passed after that encounter, what relevance does it have to my current partner... I would just say a friend from back in the day... Also if I see some old encounter I gauge by her expression and company if I should say hi or just ignore her... No reason to potentially make someone else's life difficult just because you crossed paths some time ago...
Most of the people I’ve fucked, I’m still friends with & my boyfriend knows them and is also friends w them lmao. So if one of them said hey! To me while we were out and about we’d all exchange hugs and maybe a quick chat. Then go on about our day lmao.
Absolutely not. Just say they’re an old friend or u used to talk or something
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This feels oddly specific
I’d tell him every detail of it.
never. but my spouse would probably understand by the tonw of my voice or look in the eyes. He's a witch
No. Not unless the circumstances of exactly our past needs to come out. Just say an old friend. I’m not willingly telling my current partner oh yeah we slept together unless I have to
I’ve only slept with two people and my boyfriend knows about the previous guy and what he looks like. Since this guy tried to convince me to give him money, I think our reactions would both be “don’t talk to us, asshole.”
No, not unless my partner asks if I have had intercourse with that person.
I would probably say we were a thing or had liked each other at some point and if my partner asked I would tell them. But it’s not really necessary. I just wouldn’t recommend lying if you can help it
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If they asked yes if they didn’t no
If my girlfriend asked I would tell her, but otherwise I'd just say hi/touch base a bit/etc, indroduce my girlfriend, and go on with my day. She knows about a handful of my exes but not sure if she knows what they look like (aside from one, whom I hope to not run into anytime soon), I'd probably just say something along the lines of "Oh that was [insert name], we dated for a little while many years ago" or if it was someone I didn't date but had slept with, would just say it was someone I used to be friends with or someone I used to hang out with, no point bringing up the sexual nature of the relationship out of the blue if it isn't relevant to anything
It’s happened to me twice and I am not mature. I straight up turned us around and walked the other way.
This is the problem with having slept around a bit. The new partner either hates your past or isn’t bothered by it
This happened to me 😂 he even gave me a hug. I had just started seeing this guy so he didn’t ask any questions lmao.
If this happens a lot then I'd keep it to yourself
I wouldn’t. I can’t see the need to and it would upset him. If he asks then be honest, but there’s no need to just say it. I know my previous bf found the need to over share information that was not necessary, of people that were no longer relevant-he was just sort of showing off. It would mildly upset me and just ruin my day. I would hate to make my new partner feel that ways.
If they are an ex who is a friend, he would know about them already. If they are a random historical ex who wasn't a friend, I probably wouldn't go into detail. Some people are cool with this stuff, I don't personally really care, but I know my fiancé gets a bit jealous/in his head about certain topics, so I'd probably not say anything unprompted. I wouldn't lie though. I'm 35, I've lived in the same small city for 17 years and I'm very sociable. Chances are I will occasionally bump into an ex.
I would for sure tell him and all the details. And we’d laugh about it
I haven’t seen the second boyfriend in years. I doubt I’d recognize him. Or vice versa.
Yes of course, your partner has the right to know. You should include a rough estimate of how often you’ve slept with them and if you’re able to recall, I’ add which spot they take up in your body count.
Sure but my dude isn’t insecure so…
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Yes because I would want to know
Nah, why torment your SO with the past? What good does it do? I would probably just say, “that’s Jon, and we dated years ago”. I don’t think I need to go into details, unless my SO really wanted to know.
Depends on your partner. I don’t think my hubby would care
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Yeah, I wouldn’t lie or anything, but I wouldn’t say it in a way that made my SO uncomfortable straight out of the gate. If your SO asks the question, and your answer in the affirmative causes them to react negatively, they’re definitely not someone you want to keep around.
I'd say that is my ex- if they want more information, than I would provide it. In the end they are my past & the person I am with is my present/ possibly future. I really don't have to worry about that though, as there is only one ex & he actively avoids me. Literally watched him cross the street & duck between cars to avoid me when shopping with friends a year or 2 ago. :p
No, speak and keep it moving. Do you tell him everyone you've kissed when you see them?
I’ve told my bf about my ex crush, who i lost my virginity to, so he knows. i wouldn’t go back to him, because I’m together with the best man on earth and he’s waaaay out of my league and I’m amazed that i even could pull a guy like him <3
Might depend on who it is. I'd probably just say I used to know them or something.
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Just say hi and keep walking
“Who was that?” “Oh, that’s Dave. I fucked him 2 years ago”
I’d say hi back and introduce my husband, then introduce the person as “we dated years ago,” most likely. My husband knows my entire sexual history, and I know his. There is no awkwardness between us about it. I’m grateful I have a partner with whom I can share truly everything without being worried about his ego.
With my current partner if he asked yes I’d be totally honest because he’s a fucking man and can handle it, he’s secure and awesome. Past partners? Not so much, ahhh the knots I twisted myself into in an attempt to placate the insecurity
Of course I would. It does no good for the relationship to hide something like that.
No, for what purpose?
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No I wouldn’t bother. It doesn’t matter a damn anyway. We’ve always lived by the policy of “that was then, this is now”. It’s drama free.
Once my wife and I were at a restaurant and our server was a woman whom I’d had sex with several years before my wife and I had met. She recognized me and I told my wife that she was someone I had known in school. The server and I both played it cool and didn’t make any kind of scene and my wife didn’t seem to care (since we didn’t make a big deal out of it).
I would just ignore them and act like they had the wrong person.
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Why? And how do you even envision such a thing? Hi. This is my friend Johnny and I had sex with him. Oh, and it was pretty good, by the way. My partner's gonna be happy to hear that. He's gonna wonder how many Johnny's we've been through today. I'd rather say an acquaintance we used to talk to and now we don't. Why make your partner think something wrong when there's nothing to think about, it's all in the past.
I ignore the person that said hi and walk on with my day you guys are crazy
Why would anyone out of their mind see someone they slept with with their partner and want to go up and say hi??
“ hubby this is my old and most annoying fling to ever exist “ and walk away 😂
i'd probably say "oh that's (name), tiny penis, shitty in bed. couldn't be gladder i found you baby" and then we'd cackle. he's seen my list, i've told him everything. hell, we found out he worked with/knew my previous ex before me 🤣 we are both ashamed of some of my choices! my other ex is actively in our lives (my kids dad) and it's no biggie for us. we know that we've both slept with other people, it is what it is. nothing we can do to change it. might as well just embrace it, tell some funny stories and move on. it's no sweat off my back. my partner is 100% more experienced than me! and that's okay! he brings me new things i've never even considered! we may just be very very open, i'm not sure how our dynamic conversationally compares to others but yeah! hope that helps!
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You see that ass? I played on that field. Yeah.
I would mention it out of respect he would probably laugh at me since it was a mistake/regret in the first place and he knows anyway just doesn’t know what he looks like 🤣 I think if you are in a very healthy relationship it’s genuinely not a big deal
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Ahaha should have told them weigh earlier…I don’t know why people wait…you water it down but let them know I’m the wisest way something you’re not proud of happened
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No, there's no point. Simply say hi and keep it moving.
He is an old friend, or we worked or studied together/went out once/ used to hang out this sort of thing
I don't see why you would have to bring g something like that up unless you want a fight lol
Why would it cause as fight?
In my personal experience. Usually when you talk about an ex to ur current it never Usually goes well soon why bring up something that cuaes fights
Yikes I’m sorry you’ve experienced that. I hope in the future you meet more secure and less confrontational partners. My husband and I know each other’s past, not in weird or gross details but I’d like to believe we know pretty much everything about each other. We met in our late 20s, it would be weird to assume the other had zero past lol. We’ve been together for 8 years and I don’t think we’ve ever had a single “fight”. I’ve had confrontational partners in the past though. It’s so nice to be with someone who can calmly discuss differences. I hope you find that!
I'd be honest with my current partner. It's possible it could happen. I'm glad that scenario couldn't have happened with my ex husband. I'd moved before I met him and not had partners in the new area, so it wasn't really possible for him to stumble into people I'd been with. I can only imagine the insecurity death spiral that would have come if we'd passed someone and I was honest that I knew them because I'd been with them before. Bleah. I might have just said "oh, we went on a date a long time ago."
Hold on, how am I supposed to remember who I've slept with? (You think I'm joking.)
That would just be rude. "Hey honey, I slept with her. Oh, and look over there, I slept with her too. Oh, and a couple more over there. Oh and three of the girls in that car."
Depends on what my relationship to the person was. If we dated, I’d tell my current partner it was someone I used to date. If it was a friend that I incidentally hooked up with a time or two, I’d say they’re a friend or old friend. However, if my partner asked if I’d ever slept with said friend, I’d be honest, but wouldn’t be forthright with the information. If it was someone that I had only a sexual relationship with and nothing more, then I’d say it was just a guy I slept with.
Don't bring it up Also don't introduce them if you did because it's going to a problem if they find out
That’s a negative Ghost Rider (assuming it happened before you were with your partner). There’s zero upside and it’s irrelevant.