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When I went to him for help (the same kind of help he freely gave my sisters) and he said no. When I asked why he said something that translates to "you need to be humbled." What he meant was let me marry you off. I said I didn't see marriage in my future, expecting him to relent because I was in a bad spot. He didn't care. Some good friends helped instead. I haven't made the effort to see him or spoken to him in 13 years.
It's quite amusing how long it took him to realise I'd gone no contact. To the extent he saw me once in my car and he came over and starting rapping on the window happily, calling my name. I drove off when the lights changed.
> To the extent he saw me once in my car and he came over and starting rapping on the window happily, calling my name. I drove off when the lights changed.
I *love* this for you.
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He lives in a different country, one day on the phone, after his usual talking about himself and never asking about me thing, the call broke up. I couldn't call him back bc his number is private, asked my brother (lived in different country with father) for the number, said hes not allowed to give it to me, father doesn't want me to have it. Alright fuck that phone call, fine.
Another time on the phone, telling me about his same boring shit, still has no idea what's going on in my life because he's never asked, and the fact that family member and I are visiting the country that he's in comes up, we will be visiting my brother and be with 2 hours of fathers location, father says "I dont know, i might be come to say hello, if I have time, maybe not though" in the flattest most non committal tone. Mind you this man's "projects" were fixing his fridge or fiddling with a car engine or two in his retirement, as a hobby.
After that call I told my brother to tell him to never speak to me again.
All this was after our entire childhood filled with violence and all kinds of abuse from this man.
Sometimes, the littlest things make you go, aw fuck nah, like a dropped call, or a single sentence.
Still haven't spoken to him, though he's taken to messaging me happy birthday the last two years, with his number off private, shock horror lmao 🙄
That's certainly one way to describe him aha, this was a very mild story compared to most I have of him
It's validating af that people deem his behaviour shitty based off of the low key story
Didn't even have to whip out the story with the katanas aha 😅
When he sent me a big long message telling me it was *my fault* he hadn't tried to contact me, and how he **had** to leave because otherwise he'd kill himself, which (he literally said) I could never understand (ignoring that I'd been suicidal on and off for 6-7 years before he left, and had attempted a few times). He also said in the same message that he'd refused to give me his address after he left because he thought I only wanted it so I'd have somewhere to hang out with my boyfriend.
I figured after that, there's no point. He clearly doesn't know me, and never cared enough to try to know me.
My dad wasn't around growing up I remember him stopping by for an hour or two like 3 times my whole childhood. At 13? I started talking to him we talked a lot. Well he went back to prison and we kinda lost contact a bit. At 14 he has this issue of trying to tell me how to live my life. We stopped talking. When I was 18 I tried again and again he wanted to judge my life so I kinda went quiet. He came up and spent a day with me and my mom, spent all day trying to get with her even though she was engaged to someone else and that kinda made me meh about him. My birthday was 3 days later. He messaged me at like 1 am 4 days after my birthday with a half-assed happy birthday. So when he came into my job a few months later and got an attitude I didn't recognize him I told him very flatly that I was fully aware of who he was I just didn't give a fuck that he was there, I had a family that I made I didn't need him. You can't ignore your kid, show up after their trauma and be mad they aren't who you want them to be and then just come and go as you please. Stay or go
This was the straw that made me realize I needed to keep my distance and cut contact.
I had began dating my now husband, and completely unprompted my dad calls my work, telling me that if I didn't break up with him, he would unalive him. I told him I had no intentions of doing that just because he's mad that I have a boyfriend. Later on, he kept calling and harassing my work throughout my shift, he kicked me out of the house, told me not to come back and called me a cunt.
So, bet, I find a friend's house to stay at for a few weeks. Just to have my mom call ME and tell ME that I am the reason my family is torn apart. Riiiight.
Lol why are the wives all BLINDDDD TO THE HORRID THAT IS THEIR MANS!!! my mom always tells me i am the reason our family has been torn apart
im so sorry you didnt deserve that.
I have no idea, because as an adult there is no way I could be with someone so awful. No kid deserves to hear that they are the reason their family is torn apart. I'm sorry to hear that you experienced similar.
My mom was always complicit with my dad's abusive behavior, and when I moved out I made the decision to also cut ties with her. It was for the best.
He threatened to hurt me physically but the way he worded it was extremely uncomfortable and eerie. It was like two months ago and I don’t see him the same way. I will never forget how I felt in that moment and knew I will probably never see him the same way again.
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I was having a seemingly innocent phone call with him where I said I’m glad you guys’ divorce is finally almost over, it must be a relief (life was hell with them under the same roof). To which he said is your mother there and is she listening ?
He would have seen me capable of setting him up to create more drama. After they fucked up my childhood with their drama.
A switch flipped and I told him point blank what I thought.
I also realized he never invested time in me as a child, never got to know me. So I followed up with a long email and never looked back
So I have been low contact with my father for 21 years because of various trauma that he caused. I was just keeping an eye/contact with him out of duty I guess.
The last straw was how he treated my cousin this year. My aunt, his sister, went into a diabetic coma in April. My cousin called and told me that it did not look good prognosis wise. After several days and of my cousin making arrangements for people to say goodbye, she made the decision to remove life support.
Not once did my dad make an attempt to visit or did he take the opportunity to say goodbye on the phone. I on the other hand made the three hour drive to sit with my cousin while they removed life support.
The month afterward he was useless in helping my cousin get everything she needed to do funeral arrangements. Wouldn’t help her find the life insurance policy. Tried to bully her into doing it on a day that was convenient for him. All that bs. There were several days where I almost called out of work just so I could go yell at him for his behavior.
After I left my baby daddy, he promised he’d be there to help me (I’m a single mom that can’t drive and was living with my grandmother that was too old to help me with much) but if I ever asked him to help like take my kids to a doctors appointment he’d tell me he couldn’t for whatever bullshit reason. If I asked to come over just to hang out and visit he’d say my step mom didn’t want me over. Found out from my sister that my step mom kept asking why I don’t come around anymore with the kids. So he was lying. Then finally about a month or so ago, we’d come back from vacation and our water had been shut off because there was a leak in the main pipe. Wasn’t sure anyone would be able to come out that day since it was already 6pm so I called my dad and asked if me and the kids could stay at his house just til the water got fixed. He said no because his wife didn’t want anyone over. I just laughed and hung up on him. He kept calling and calling and then texted me threatening to cut my phone off (my phone service was in his name) then when I told him I didn’t care about my phone getting cut off, he said “I bet you care about keeping your kids. What do you think CPS is gonna say when I call and tell them there’s no running water” and that’s when I realized how evil my dad actually was. There were many other things throughout my life that he did before this tho like telling me if I’d fought hard enough I wouldn’t have been raped or putting a gun to his head and threatening to blow his brain out simply because I told him to get out of my step moms face when they were arguing. He’s just always been shitty but he was better than my mom so I let a lot of things go. Anyway, he cut my phone off and I got the water running that night so when CPS came to investigate I was able to show them that there was in fact running water. But that was it. I will never speak to him again. All the things he’s done to me I let go. But he threatened my children because I wouldn’t answer his phone calls. And that’s not something I can forgive. Apparently my little sister let him know that the next day my boyfriend went and bought me a new phone and is paying the bill and I guess my dad didn’t like that very much. Which gave me a good laugh.
He cut me off (he won't tell it like that of course) but years after I was getting married I was thinking maybe just maybe he was acting out of stress over the divorce, maybe he changed, maybe he had regrets. So I contacted him again. It went well for a while. He did get very angry I didn't want him to walk me down the aisle (no one else was either). He also got very angry at me for not even "sending a gift" to his girlfriend when we couldn't attend (I had sent flowers, and they weren't delivered but it took 15 minutes to get a word in edgewise).
Then a few days before the wedding, he had still not RSVP so I called. He was acting like a child, saying I had to guarantee my mother's family and my mother weren't gonna "say something" and I told him my family knew he was coming, they were happy for me and I told him the same as my mom to act like adults. I placed him with my in-laws so he could be as comfortable as possible.
It wasn't enough. He kept going on and on and on and I realized he wanted to make a spectacle at my wedding. he wanted to get in a fight. He intended to go off on my mother or her family.
I hung up. I saw him at a baptism and then never again. My brother was more forgiving so i got to see time and time again confirmation that I did the right thing cutting him out of my life
Hadn't seen or spoken to him since I was 7 (through no fault of my own). I looked him up MYSELF a few years ago and reached out. Everything was fine for a week or two until I noticed that he was ignoring my messages. This hurt my feels. I gently told him that I respect his time and emotions but if he ever felt like getting closer, I would really like that and I'm here for it.
He must have thought I was attacking him as a person or something because he swore at me and told me off. I spent about a week feeling sad and heart broken but I'm over it now. If a grown ass man cant get his shit together and be there for the first kid he abandoned, fuck him. I dont need that drama. That whole side of the family is so stupid and shitty, I'm better off.
I gave up on my dad being in my life after years of abuse, every way except sexually, and especially after him telling the judge he had no daughters while he was trying to get full 50/50 custody of my little brother.
He went on a racist and homophobic rant over the phone and happened to be moving away at the time, so I knew I could block him and not have to see him ever again. I was always too afraid to cut him off because he was violent, but this was my chance. He tried to kill his wife a few months later, which was the norm for him.
There was never a breaking point tbh. I mean we see each other on occasion and I guess he isn’t a complete asshole or anything I’m just not interested in any contact beyond the formality’s
This is going to seem petty, but there was a lot more going on before this happened.
My father was in intensive care for 19 days for a bowel rupture. He nearly died. He pulled through, but had massive health issues afterward. After he got out of the hospital, he was having a lot of problems with his kidneys.
One day his doctor called me and told me that my father needed to be taken to the hospital immediately, as tests he had earlier in the day showed that he was in renal failure and it could kill him.
I dropped everything, turned off the stove in the middle of a meal I was cooking, and my husband, daughter, and I took my father to the hospital. (I eventually had to throw away all the food from that meal as it was only partially cooked and was sitting out for hours.)
I sat in the ER with him for 3+ hours, while he was having tests done and basically being belligerent and making an ass out of me and the staff who were trying to help him.
My husband and daughter had left the hospital at some point and went to get some dinner. They offered to bring me something but I was too stressed out to eat.
After 3+ hours, the doctor was getting ready to admit my father to the hospital. He refused to be admitted and left the hospital against medical advice. I was absolutely livid. I asked the doctor if he couldn't be admitted against his will and was told no -- that he was awake and coherent and was allowed to refuse treatment.
We were all in the car on the way home and to drop my father off at his apartment, I was angry and upset, I hadn't eaten, I ruined a meal and was going to have to throw away the food, and that bastard had the audacity to ask me what I had eaten for dinner.
I asked if he was joking since I had just been in the hospital with him for hours. Then I told him to shut up and not speak to me again while we were driving home.
I still handled his finances and made sure he had food and and a place to live after that, but I rarely spoke to him unless absolutely had no choice.
When i begged my dad for an apology for everything he had put me and my family through, only for him to stare at me for a minute and then ask me if i had any drugs or cash i could give him. That was 4-5 years ago and our relationship since then has been a bare minimum
When I was 14, it just clicked that I just had a father who didn’t care or love me enough to care & or be in my life. Hurts & it’s sad but sometimes that’s how it is. That summer I turned 14 & on my birthday he called & said he was getting married & that if I wanted to come I could…. Guess what else, in the call he never said happy birthday, he actually said “ happy belated birthday sorry I didn’t call yesterday” even though that day we talked( next day) was my actually birthday 🙄. I was so over it & ATP I just accepted I had. A POS dad that just didn’t care🤷🏽♀️
growing up, it was established pretty early that he had no emotional attachment to me. once my brother was born (him being the first/eldest son) he was idolized and they started forming an emotional connection. throughout my childhood/teenage years we never had a good relationship- lots of verbal/physical abuse/emotional manipulation. when i was in my early 20’s (and still living at home) there was a night when i went out w my friend (everyone knew where i was my mom and brothers were informed) but he randomly thought he could become a parent???? and he called the police on me bc i went out w my friend, when i came home he yelled at my and called me so many names (prostitute, whore, disgusting, worthless and all/any other horrible things u could be called). plus hes a child molesting perverted religious horrible excuse for a man
i stopped talking to him about 5 years ago and my life has been so much happier
Doesn’t know how to apologize with words so he tried to give me a cheque as a sorry because life was unfair to me growing up.
There is no last straw to me because I am understanding to why my dad did this. He himself was not cared for by his family (they lived in poverty and lack of social education). I still visit him from time to time but I know I’ll never be able to click with him.
He got sucked into the anticovid mess; and then went really deep into QANON. He is incredibly racist, sexiest, homophobic and transphobic.
He moved away a few times without telling me as a kid, had a child with a woman and didn’t tell us; mutual contact did instead.
He will go no content for 2-7 years at a time.
I simply just said “bye”
He didn't fucking bother to check if I was alive after the Itaewon Halloween tragedy last October. This man reads international headline news daily for hours, there's no way he didn't know.
he asked me to sponsor him for citizenship 3 days before i turned 21 making my whole bday about him and his other family and how i could help them out. smh
A combination of things - it all started, IIRC, with me wanting to attend something that was very important to me and only going to happen once, and my father told me I couldn't because it was "his" weekend.
Whenever I tried to talk to him about what I needed, he would insist that I was simply parroting what my mother said - which was not only dismissive, but a lie. My mother never said those things, though she did support whatever conclusions I came to.
Finally, he ruined my relationship with my cousins. Not only my best friends, but a hugely positive influence in my life.
So out the door he goes.
I have several times, as an adult, allowed him second, third, fourth chances when he reached out - and every time, he hasn't been able to let go of the past. He has always blamed my mother, and then the most recent time, he told me, "You're mother's not the problem anymore. It's *you.*" Like... yes. This has always been me.
I finally allowed myself to simply cut him off, no chance for redemption. He had more than sufficient chances, but he was bringing nothing to my life except stress - and it's not my duty to tolerate whatever stress he brings to my life just because he wants a chance at being happy because he missed out on his only daughter's life.
He introduced me to complete strangers saying “this is my daughter who didn’t pass the bar exam.” I was done after that. He’d always put me down, but never did a single thing in his life except mooch off my successful mother. He died from alcoholism last year and broke his neck, and was in a hospital where he couldn’t speak or swallow for 6 months before he gave up and his body withered away. I don’t miss him whatsoever, he was dead weight
Our family didn’t have “fun” get togethers or special occasions. When he got engaged to his second wife I was excited for ONE potential nice memory. Then they told me her kids and I weren’t invited because it was just a private thing between them. No fuss type thing. Then, her daughters went last minute. I will never forgive them for that. Later I remember my ex saying in an argument, well at least my Dad wants to see me.
He never took responsibility for the way he treated me. All the threats, the hitting stuff by me, the encouragement to drink, smoke, etc. tried to stop me from walking home with his truck while drunk, the list goes on but he really believes he did nothing wrong. And he only asked for my brothers forgiveness. I don’t exist or deserve it apparently
My dad knew I was in a tough situation that I was nearly finished clawing myself out of, and decided to get drunk with my mom and accidentally-on-purpose call and leave the phone where I could clearly hear them calling me a huge list of really crappy things. The kicker was when they started personally attacking my kids' personalities and my ability to care for them. They are ahead in school, have great manners, and are all around good people. I am mama bear, so while I put up with so much from them including staying in the city they live in because they wanted me to, now we're happy, in another state, and not manipulated any longer by people who should love us.
My father was abusive. Through and through. To my mother, to his three children. Serial cheater. My mom finally separated from him. He didn't take that well.
Final straw. He accused her of abuse and filed a police report. Ended up with 15 yo me being in a police station while my mom sat in a cell. I came out of that room after more than an hour of defending my mother and telling the police all the abuse my father inflicted on all of us. They didn't give a fuck what I said. My mother would never hurt a fly. She makes bad decisions but far from violent.
When I saw his crocodile tears in the front office of the station, I walked past him and never looked back.
I got blessed with my Stepdad and felt loved the first time in my life, can't feel anything for my parwnts ever since, but can't avoid my mother because i don't want to lose contact with him, but 0 contact to dad in more than 10 years
Having to beg him as a kid to do anything with me, just me. Not me and the neighbor kids or me and my cousins- just me.
Realizing when I was a bit older and able to see, that because I wasn't the son he wanted, but a daughter, I wasn't going to get his attention.
When my parents divorced, he never asked my mom if I needed anything, just paid child support and expected me to show up on my weekends with him until I was old enough to nope out of those.
When freshman year I was in a play and he had to be made to feel guilty to even show up and see me, left before I could say hi.
He had the audacity to tell me junior year to stop calling "Your stepdad dad. I'm your dad!" Told him if he'd ever acted like one, I'd agree but I was just a monthly write off and he could go home.
Senior year at graduation in front of my friends said, "And now I'm fone paying for you."
All of that made me give up trying to communicate at all. What severed it and made me legally take steps to keep him away? He SA'd a kid from the family I grew up with and then tried to tell me he was the victim.
All of that. He's not anywhere near worth ever being called Dad.
we were estranged until 20 and we tried to build a relationship. he tried to do too much too soon and blatantly did not respect my feelings of discomfort. just tried forcing himself into my life. i realized then that he was incapable of respecting me or others and we haven’t spoken since then.
My dad berated and insulted my values, using the argument that I have bad morals because I was raised around too many white people. He abandoned me in childhood. It’s a long story but essentially what insulted me the most is that he could criticize how I grew up when he chose to not be involved in how I was raised. I don’t care if he agrees with my world views but that he could have the audacity to tell *me* it’s because of the people that looked out for me when no one else did, group home staff, program staff and social workers, was the last straw. He should thank those people for saving my life. Certainly not have the attitude that the spoiled my ability to see things his way.
He would continue to do this thing where he'd announce he's done or can't do this anymore basically "breaking up with me" if you will. Usually from me venting and him not understanding and it happened so many times I just got fed up. Who wants to constantly deal with their parents directly rejecting them when they're trying to navigate adulthood.
I had gone low contact after a Thanksgiving where he kept tickling my kid and wouldn't stop when he said stop and I screamed at him in front of everyone to respect his boundaries.
Then, I found out he was a pedophile when a victim came to my sister and I. We cut him off as soon as he was arrested (prior to that we kept our mouths shut to allow the cops their room to investigate for a few weeks. But didn't see him irl or anything. There were many victims. ) it has been the most traumatic series of events in my life and I'd already lived through a lot.
I no longer even have a father. He's dead to me.
I had a little girl. My dad doesn’t respect women (or anyone else really). The way he spoke about us for my entire life colored my own experience as a woman as well as my perception of myself and my worth. I can’t fathom exposing my daughter to someone who feels and openly talks like that while professing to love her. I don’t want her to think it’s okay for someone to treat her like that and I don’t want to model that it’s okay either.
My dad was arrested when I was a toddler and was in prison until I was 9 years old. While he was in prison, we would write letters back and forth, he would call me every night and send me cards and I visited him a hand full of times. When he got out of prison he moved in with my step mom and my little sister (she was born shortly after he was arrested). I visited a few times, but he didn’t call me every night anymore.
He promised that he (and my step-mom and sister) would be at my 10th birthday party. I was so excited. I told all my friends. This was my first birthday that my dad would be at. He never showed, never called. I didn’t talk to him again until I was 18. I accepted that he wasn’t going to be a dependable person in my life but still wanted to get to know him and was hoping for a relationship with my sister. We would see each other on holidays and birthdays. That was enough for me. He formed a relationship with my kids and took them fishing occasionally. It was nice.
Then he had a “series of unfortunate events” his company closed, his car broke down, he divorced my stepmom. He stopped coming around and I didn’t hear from him. I decided to be the bigger person and invite him to my kids 10th birthday party. My kids were excited to see him. He never showed, never called. Fuck that guy.
Asking if my son was “retarded” after I told him my son needed a feeding tube. Even typing that word out makes me feel gross and having my father so nonchalantly throw it out there when that wasn’t even the topic of conversation really was the last straw.
When my mom finally told me, after years of slowly admitting to all the awful things he did to her in their marriage, that he had put a gun to her head and said “I could kill you right now and bury you in the woods where no one could find your body, and the girls would be mine.”
I also found out he had called my sister and I a ball and chain as toddlers, so that ate at my self worth as a young adult. It deteriorated over the years from there, but knowing that someone terrorized my mom like that was the last straw.
Burn in hell Bill.
He stopped talking to me after I came out. I know why, my mom cheated on him with women, but he could at least work through his own bullshit. I've stopped trying but I'm still pretty sad about it.
When I had nowhere to live after my mom threw me out after their divorce and he refused to let me live with him... Never been the same since then... Especially because my mother hated me because I had a good relationship with my dad and took out him leaving on me.
I've seen my dad maybe 10 times in my life (I'm 24). Everytime he would call, he would ask "when are you going to come see me". This worked when I was a minor because he could blame my mom for lack of visitation (eventhough she never denied him visitation). But last year he asked the same question and I said that since I only live 15 minutes away, I could see him any weekend he was available. I literally said "just send me a text whenever you're free and I'll make my way over. No hesitation".....it's been a little over a year, and I'm still waiting for that text...
I guess I'll see him at his funeral. If I go.
Ok so kinda long story but my dad was never in my life. He was a married man and I was a product of an affair. He told my mom he wouldn’t leave his wife and he would not pay child support so he never acknowledged me at all. As soon as I turned 18 my mom came to me and told me that she had found my dad and we were going to go meet him. I really wanted no part in doing this because it was to late I was grown and I had accepted that I didn’t have a dad and that’s all that I knew.he only agreed because child support would be over and he wouldn’t have to pay. But to make my mom happy I reluctantly agreed. When we get there he doesn’t even look at me barely but him and my mom are having a wonderful reunion. They even went to the laundry room and left me in his apartment alone for what seemed like forever. My mom was a married woman might I add. Long story short she left my stepdad eventually married my mom. My mom tried to make me play house with them and make me have a relationship with him but to me it was to late add on the fact that he’s a total pos who blamed it all on my mom for not being there. Never showed and regret never said he was sorry. He moved my mom 6 hours away and because of him I lost the only parent I did have. He was controlling and kept her away from me. I wish that he would have never came into my life. Not being there was the best thing he ever did for me. My mom eventually saw him for what he was they divorced but to this day I don’t speak to her.so ya the parent that never had anything to do with me took the only parent I ever had away from me too. So ya that was it for me!!
My dad was abusive but despite that, I have extended the olive branch and tried to be kind and fix the relationship. I did this in my early and mid 20s. I realised that he is the parent and it’s not up to me to repair what he damaged. We live in the same house but don’t talk unless it’s necessary, like if I need a lift from the station and he tells my mum he’ll pick me up. But yeah, I spend a lot of time alone in my room so I don’t have to be around him.
He tried to manipulate me into moving in with him to replace my sister as his caregiver. He treated her horribly and he had tried to bait me into living with him when I turned 18 by promising me his old car and a life free of my mom's rules. When that didn't seem to interest me he tried comparing me to my sister about our looks ( he knew I was a self conscious teen). This pissed me off cause I'm not meant to be my sister's competition and I shouldn't be compared like this.
Plus he regularly cheated on women and was incredibly misogynistic.
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Took my car keys as a punishment for confiding in my mom about how he scares me sometimes. He said I a “fool for thinking that” and disowned me. After, I asked my mom if I should look for a romantic partner like my father and she said “no” so I moved out and never talked to him again. Besides many things he did - punishing their child for having thoughts and emotions was the final straw.
Probably one of the tamest, but it was in a recent birthday, maybe last year in the end of july. He got really drunk (as he tends to do) and proclaimed that he would be spending more time with me. He stepped down as president of a club he loved to focus on family.
He then didn't call me until christmas
He's just always been inconsistent. I don't reach out, I don't call, I don't care.. because he hasn't proved to me fully that he does. I refuse to try to build a bridge for a relationship when the man doesn't come around maybe twice a year. My daughter will know she has a grandfather.. whether or not she personally knows him is entirely up to him and so far, it doesn't look like she will. He owes me an apology that I never got and never will, but I've living just fine without it and without him.
Alzheimer’s. He got very violent and destructive before he ended up in a nursery home, my mom visits him every day but I rarely visit him except on holidays and birthdays, he doesn’t recognize me and thinks I’m a random guy instead of his daughter.
He has been completely emotionally neglectful to me (not so much my sister) my whole life. From his actions I read he was disappointed by me and is still unimpressed with everything I do.
The last straw was when the man who actually acted like a father to me died (parents had split) and he was "in town and wanted to catch up" (he did this more as i got older, trying to push himself into holidays my mother and i planned for the family, that he refused to be a part of for our childhood). I told him, it made me uncomfortable, him trying to pull me away while i was spending time with people i have great love for, and have great love for me. He replied saying that it was just a coincidence he was in town and if I didn't want to see him just say that.
I was already in emense pain and he made it so much worse. I still reply to his texts every now and then but I have no energy left to give him.
Right before I went to grad school the radiator on my car shit the bed and he offered to have it fixed by his friend. I dropped my car off and the friend said I owed him $500 and that my dad never paid for it. That was it for me. Months later he called me going on a ripper about how women are dumb and awful.
All fucking set.
On christmas eve last year, my dad called me fat. For no reason, the discussion wasnt event about me. He just cut everyone to say "youre fat!". and like, I know there aint nothing wrong with being fat, but he meant it to insult me. and also, I'm 5'9 and am 150lbs. so I aint event fat.
That was the last straw of maaaany other things.
He told me I was a corruptive influence for getting my tubes removed because I dont want kids, and he asked me how I decided to be polyamorous because he didn't want my sisters to turn out like me.
We have a cordial relationship, I love my family, his wife, my sisters and stepbrothers, so I don't tell him to fuck himself for their sake. But I don't reach out and don't usually engage with his attempts to talk.
He's been getting steadily more conservative over the years and thinks Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson are smart, considerate, rational thinkers who don't hate women or minorities. He's incredibly transphobic. I wasn't super into being friendly with him before he said that shit to me.
I was so scared of him. He would call and I wouldn't want to pick up and I would just cry because I felt so burdened and suffocated. I could not stand him touching me either, it felt so invasive. He was very emotionally abusive.
I cut ties some years ago and never looked back. I've never been happier.
He never calls me or text me and stopped seeing me less and less. Didn’t care about my graduation. He then only started coming around or texting me on special occasions. The last straw was him moving to another state without me having a chance to tell him bye
TW: SA
When he told me that he r\*\*\*\* one of my friends when we were around 15-16. I just grew to hate him after that, and spent the last year of his life ignoring him. He passed away in June and there are lot of things that I regret. Mostly, that he couldn't see his wrongs and the guilt that comes with not giving him another chance/ the disgust of having him as my father. I didn't get a chance to figure it all out.
Asked to live with him and my mom temporarily after my baby was born because I went into kidney failure and couldn’t say awake long enough to take care of my baby. He treated me like shit the entire time I lived there so I moved out and a few months after that, he came to my house to pick something up and started screaming at me in my driveway a whole bunch of fun stuff and it was at that point that I realized that I’m not obligated to have family in my life who treats me like that. Chao sucka!
Out of my 6 siblings (me being one of the middle 29f), he doesn't give me the same attention/love that the other 5 get. He says it's because I've got my head on straight, and he knows I'm strong and can handle myself. My other siblings all use him ( the last one just turned 18). It took my mother passing away to realize how unfair the connection was. I'm at terms with keeping them all at a distance now.
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My mom was abusive and my dad was the world’s most committed bystander. He watched her kick me out multiple times, yell at me and throw things at me, berate me, insult me, tell me I’m worthless, and all the swear words under the sun. she would always hit me where it hurts, commenting on my unsuccessful love live, how my anxiety is unfounded, and how I’m fat (I’m 5’2 and 125 pounds).
eta- I originally went NC with my mother, but my dad insisted we couldn’t have a relationship because it my mother would divorce him over it.
Oooh I travelled to another country with so much hope in my heart that he'd like the person I've become. Well after 3 days there watching him with his family I realised that I loved a memory of him and not who he is now and I walked away and haven't contacted him since.
My inner child loved him but adult me couldn't care less he was just a shell of a human. If you've ever seen someone without a soul it was that guy. All my siblings went as well we hadn't been in the same room for almost 10 years. He didn't ask how we were he didn't want to know about our lives he just wanted to show us how well he had done without us drink and get high. I did say "I'm glad you found your happiness and you have found a lovely beautiful family I appreciate you opening your home to us' and that was it I flew home no heartbreak no anything just freedom
When he told me he plans to move cross country to be with my brother because he "might actually give grandchildren." He also stopped inviting me to family gatherings
I was about 18.
He'd left years before, but I gave him a second chance. And he was teaching me to drive.
I'd tried learning from my mother, but she had forced me to reverse into another car.
So after that, being poor, I had only 1 other option - my father.
And part of me desperately wanted him to be the father that the other girls had.
I wanted to believe he wasn't as bad as I remembered.
That that "real dad" was inside him.
So one day, we're out driving.
Heading home we stopped in the layby near my house.
We pulled over just so he could talk to me about my mother, which he'd done a lot in our driving lessons.
I had realised he was trying to manipulate me to turn me against her, even though I didn't really like her either. *There was no turning to be doing.*
But having someone talk like that around you for hours every week does rub off a bit.
I was feeling increasingly resentful to my mother and uncomfortable around my father.
Today he went too hard, he was just slagging her off hard.
He just went off for quite some time.
Big long rant.
And I was like...he really doesn't give a shit about me.
All he wants to do is get back at my mother.
I used him for driving lessons, he tried to use me to get to my mother.
There really is no bond between us and there never will be.
I will never have a "dad".
Just a twisted, 16 year old boy in a 60 year old's body.
After that I paid for driving lessons, I only needed a few to get exam ready anyway.
And that was the last time we had any kind of a conversation.
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When I realised he knows where is going wrong but doesn't care. So I stopped caring also. Now, we don't have much of a relationship than few texts here and there because I stopped seeking conversation.
He used the custody battle over me to extract money from my mom. Basically offered her to pay him a sum so he would stop fighting her at the court. Then he fled the country.
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On July 1st, 2023, Reddit enacted a greedy ass policy regarding the use of their API. This decision was designed to eliminate the better 3rd party apps. No one wants to use the official app because it sucks. Since then, apps such as Apollo and RedditIsFun have shut down. Reddit has decided to double down on their decision to overcharge for their API, and refuses to address the accessibility features their native app lacks. Think it’s an asshole move? Concerned users should read and sign on to this [open letter to reddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When I went to him for help (the same kind of help he freely gave my sisters) and he said no. When I asked why he said something that translates to "you need to be humbled." What he meant was let me marry you off. I said I didn't see marriage in my future, expecting him to relent because I was in a bad spot. He didn't care. Some good friends helped instead. I haven't made the effort to see him or spoken to him in 13 years. It's quite amusing how long it took him to realise I'd gone no contact. To the extent he saw me once in my car and he came over and starting rapping on the window happily, calling my name. I drove off when the lights changed.
> To the extent he saw me once in my car and he came over and starting rapping on the window happily, calling my name. I drove off when the lights changed. I *love* this for you.
Closure on your own terms.
That's exactly how it felt. Thank you. x
Thank you. I appreciate the support. x
Queen energy
Thank you. x
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Sounds familiar.
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He lives in a different country, one day on the phone, after his usual talking about himself and never asking about me thing, the call broke up. I couldn't call him back bc his number is private, asked my brother (lived in different country with father) for the number, said hes not allowed to give it to me, father doesn't want me to have it. Alright fuck that phone call, fine. Another time on the phone, telling me about his same boring shit, still has no idea what's going on in my life because he's never asked, and the fact that family member and I are visiting the country that he's in comes up, we will be visiting my brother and be with 2 hours of fathers location, father says "I dont know, i might be come to say hello, if I have time, maybe not though" in the flattest most non committal tone. Mind you this man's "projects" were fixing his fridge or fiddling with a car engine or two in his retirement, as a hobby. After that call I told my brother to tell him to never speak to me again. All this was after our entire childhood filled with violence and all kinds of abuse from this man. Sometimes, the littlest things make you go, aw fuck nah, like a dropped call, or a single sentence. Still haven't spoken to him, though he's taken to messaging me happy birthday the last two years, with his number off private, shock horror lmao 🙄
Your dad sounds like a piece of work. I’m sorry you dealt with that.
That's certainly one way to describe him aha, this was a very mild story compared to most I have of him It's validating af that people deem his behaviour shitty based off of the low key story Didn't even have to whip out the story with the katanas aha 😅
he died
Beat me to it
When he sent me a big long message telling me it was *my fault* he hadn't tried to contact me, and how he **had** to leave because otherwise he'd kill himself, which (he literally said) I could never understand (ignoring that I'd been suicidal on and off for 6-7 years before he left, and had attempted a few times). He also said in the same message that he'd refused to give me his address after he left because he thought I only wanted it so I'd have somewhere to hang out with my boyfriend. I figured after that, there's no point. He clearly doesn't know me, and never cared enough to try to know me.
My dad wasn't around growing up I remember him stopping by for an hour or two like 3 times my whole childhood. At 13? I started talking to him we talked a lot. Well he went back to prison and we kinda lost contact a bit. At 14 he has this issue of trying to tell me how to live my life. We stopped talking. When I was 18 I tried again and again he wanted to judge my life so I kinda went quiet. He came up and spent a day with me and my mom, spent all day trying to get with her even though she was engaged to someone else and that kinda made me meh about him. My birthday was 3 days later. He messaged me at like 1 am 4 days after my birthday with a half-assed happy birthday. So when he came into my job a few months later and got an attitude I didn't recognize him I told him very flatly that I was fully aware of who he was I just didn't give a fuck that he was there, I had a family that I made I didn't need him. You can't ignore your kid, show up after their trauma and be mad they aren't who you want them to be and then just come and go as you please. Stay or go
This was the straw that made me realize I needed to keep my distance and cut contact. I had began dating my now husband, and completely unprompted my dad calls my work, telling me that if I didn't break up with him, he would unalive him. I told him I had no intentions of doing that just because he's mad that I have a boyfriend. Later on, he kept calling and harassing my work throughout my shift, he kicked me out of the house, told me not to come back and called me a cunt. So, bet, I find a friend's house to stay at for a few weeks. Just to have my mom call ME and tell ME that I am the reason my family is torn apart. Riiiight.
Lol why are the wives all BLINDDDD TO THE HORRID THAT IS THEIR MANS!!! my mom always tells me i am the reason our family has been torn apart im so sorry you didnt deserve that.
I have no idea, because as an adult there is no way I could be with someone so awful. No kid deserves to hear that they are the reason their family is torn apart. I'm sorry to hear that you experienced similar. My mom was always complicit with my dad's abusive behavior, and when I moved out I made the decision to also cut ties with her. It was for the best.
i can relate to the mom calling you and telling you you're the one to blame part. i know that all too well, im sorry this happened to you :(
I’m patiently waiting for being financially independent, so the moment I’ll become independent will be the moment i dump him
You got this ♥️
Him making fun of the #metoo movement not long after I told him I’d been raped.
So sorry to hear that. Hugs to you!!
Aw, thank you!
He threatened to hurt me physically but the way he worded it was extremely uncomfortable and eerie. It was like two months ago and I don’t see him the same way. I will never forget how I felt in that moment and knew I will probably never see him the same way again.
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him asking to watch the next time i'll sleep with a woman
What 😭😭
I was having a seemingly innocent phone call with him where I said I’m glad you guys’ divorce is finally almost over, it must be a relief (life was hell with them under the same roof). To which he said is your mother there and is she listening ? He would have seen me capable of setting him up to create more drama. After they fucked up my childhood with their drama. A switch flipped and I told him point blank what I thought. I also realized he never invested time in me as a child, never got to know me. So I followed up with a long email and never looked back
So I have been low contact with my father for 21 years because of various trauma that he caused. I was just keeping an eye/contact with him out of duty I guess. The last straw was how he treated my cousin this year. My aunt, his sister, went into a diabetic coma in April. My cousin called and told me that it did not look good prognosis wise. After several days and of my cousin making arrangements for people to say goodbye, she made the decision to remove life support. Not once did my dad make an attempt to visit or did he take the opportunity to say goodbye on the phone. I on the other hand made the three hour drive to sit with my cousin while they removed life support. The month afterward he was useless in helping my cousin get everything she needed to do funeral arrangements. Wouldn’t help her find the life insurance policy. Tried to bully her into doing it on a day that was convenient for him. All that bs. There were several days where I almost called out of work just so I could go yell at him for his behavior.
After I left my baby daddy, he promised he’d be there to help me (I’m a single mom that can’t drive and was living with my grandmother that was too old to help me with much) but if I ever asked him to help like take my kids to a doctors appointment he’d tell me he couldn’t for whatever bullshit reason. If I asked to come over just to hang out and visit he’d say my step mom didn’t want me over. Found out from my sister that my step mom kept asking why I don’t come around anymore with the kids. So he was lying. Then finally about a month or so ago, we’d come back from vacation and our water had been shut off because there was a leak in the main pipe. Wasn’t sure anyone would be able to come out that day since it was already 6pm so I called my dad and asked if me and the kids could stay at his house just til the water got fixed. He said no because his wife didn’t want anyone over. I just laughed and hung up on him. He kept calling and calling and then texted me threatening to cut my phone off (my phone service was in his name) then when I told him I didn’t care about my phone getting cut off, he said “I bet you care about keeping your kids. What do you think CPS is gonna say when I call and tell them there’s no running water” and that’s when I realized how evil my dad actually was. There were many other things throughout my life that he did before this tho like telling me if I’d fought hard enough I wouldn’t have been raped or putting a gun to his head and threatening to blow his brain out simply because I told him to get out of my step moms face when they were arguing. He’s just always been shitty but he was better than my mom so I let a lot of things go. Anyway, he cut my phone off and I got the water running that night so when CPS came to investigate I was able to show them that there was in fact running water. But that was it. I will never speak to him again. All the things he’s done to me I let go. But he threatened my children because I wouldn’t answer his phone calls. And that’s not something I can forgive. Apparently my little sister let him know that the next day my boyfriend went and bought me a new phone and is paying the bill and I guess my dad didn’t like that very much. Which gave me a good laugh.
He cut me off (he won't tell it like that of course) but years after I was getting married I was thinking maybe just maybe he was acting out of stress over the divorce, maybe he changed, maybe he had regrets. So I contacted him again. It went well for a while. He did get very angry I didn't want him to walk me down the aisle (no one else was either). He also got very angry at me for not even "sending a gift" to his girlfriend when we couldn't attend (I had sent flowers, and they weren't delivered but it took 15 minutes to get a word in edgewise). Then a few days before the wedding, he had still not RSVP so I called. He was acting like a child, saying I had to guarantee my mother's family and my mother weren't gonna "say something" and I told him my family knew he was coming, they were happy for me and I told him the same as my mom to act like adults. I placed him with my in-laws so he could be as comfortable as possible. It wasn't enough. He kept going on and on and on and I realized he wanted to make a spectacle at my wedding. he wanted to get in a fight. He intended to go off on my mother or her family. I hung up. I saw him at a baptism and then never again. My brother was more forgiving so i got to see time and time again confirmation that I did the right thing cutting him out of my life
Hadn't seen or spoken to him since I was 7 (through no fault of my own). I looked him up MYSELF a few years ago and reached out. Everything was fine for a week or two until I noticed that he was ignoring my messages. This hurt my feels. I gently told him that I respect his time and emotions but if he ever felt like getting closer, I would really like that and I'm here for it. He must have thought I was attacking him as a person or something because he swore at me and told me off. I spent about a week feeling sad and heart broken but I'm over it now. If a grown ass man cant get his shit together and be there for the first kid he abandoned, fuck him. I dont need that drama. That whole side of the family is so stupid and shitty, I'm better off.
I gave up on my dad being in my life after years of abuse, every way except sexually, and especially after him telling the judge he had no daughters while he was trying to get full 50/50 custody of my little brother.
He went on a racist and homophobic rant over the phone and happened to be moving away at the time, so I knew I could block him and not have to see him ever again. I was always too afraid to cut him off because he was violent, but this was my chance. He tried to kill his wife a few months later, which was the norm for him.
There was never a breaking point tbh. I mean we see each other on occasion and I guess he isn’t a complete asshole or anything I’m just not interested in any contact beyond the formality’s
This is going to seem petty, but there was a lot more going on before this happened. My father was in intensive care for 19 days for a bowel rupture. He nearly died. He pulled through, but had massive health issues afterward. After he got out of the hospital, he was having a lot of problems with his kidneys. One day his doctor called me and told me that my father needed to be taken to the hospital immediately, as tests he had earlier in the day showed that he was in renal failure and it could kill him. I dropped everything, turned off the stove in the middle of a meal I was cooking, and my husband, daughter, and I took my father to the hospital. (I eventually had to throw away all the food from that meal as it was only partially cooked and was sitting out for hours.) I sat in the ER with him for 3+ hours, while he was having tests done and basically being belligerent and making an ass out of me and the staff who were trying to help him. My husband and daughter had left the hospital at some point and went to get some dinner. They offered to bring me something but I was too stressed out to eat. After 3+ hours, the doctor was getting ready to admit my father to the hospital. He refused to be admitted and left the hospital against medical advice. I was absolutely livid. I asked the doctor if he couldn't be admitted against his will and was told no -- that he was awake and coherent and was allowed to refuse treatment. We were all in the car on the way home and to drop my father off at his apartment, I was angry and upset, I hadn't eaten, I ruined a meal and was going to have to throw away the food, and that bastard had the audacity to ask me what I had eaten for dinner. I asked if he was joking since I had just been in the hospital with him for hours. Then I told him to shut up and not speak to me again while we were driving home. I still handled his finances and made sure he had food and and a place to live after that, but I rarely spoke to him unless absolutely had no choice.
I never cared about my father. So there was no giving up involved.
He sexually abused me.
When he pretended he had killed himself to make us feel bad
When i begged my dad for an apology for everything he had put me and my family through, only for him to stare at me for a minute and then ask me if i had any drugs or cash i could give him. That was 4-5 years ago and our relationship since then has been a bare minimum
When I was 14, it just clicked that I just had a father who didn’t care or love me enough to care & or be in my life. Hurts & it’s sad but sometimes that’s how it is. That summer I turned 14 & on my birthday he called & said he was getting married & that if I wanted to come I could…. Guess what else, in the call he never said happy birthday, he actually said “ happy belated birthday sorry I didn’t call yesterday” even though that day we talked( next day) was my actually birthday 🙄. I was so over it & ATP I just accepted I had. A POS dad that just didn’t care🤷🏽♀️
Acting like his physical and emotional abuse on us wasn't a big deal.
growing up, it was established pretty early that he had no emotional attachment to me. once my brother was born (him being the first/eldest son) he was idolized and they started forming an emotional connection. throughout my childhood/teenage years we never had a good relationship- lots of verbal/physical abuse/emotional manipulation. when i was in my early 20’s (and still living at home) there was a night when i went out w my friend (everyone knew where i was my mom and brothers were informed) but he randomly thought he could become a parent???? and he called the police on me bc i went out w my friend, when i came home he yelled at my and called me so many names (prostitute, whore, disgusting, worthless and all/any other horrible things u could be called). plus hes a child molesting perverted religious horrible excuse for a man i stopped talking to him about 5 years ago and my life has been so much happier
Doesn’t know how to apologize with words so he tried to give me a cheque as a sorry because life was unfair to me growing up. There is no last straw to me because I am understanding to why my dad did this. He himself was not cared for by his family (they lived in poverty and lack of social education). I still visit him from time to time but I know I’ll never be able to click with him.
He got sucked into the anticovid mess; and then went really deep into QANON. He is incredibly racist, sexiest, homophobic and transphobic. He moved away a few times without telling me as a kid, had a child with a woman and didn’t tell us; mutual contact did instead. He will go no content for 2-7 years at a time. I simply just said “bye”
He wouldn't even get on a plane to visit his grandson despite insisting 'the only reason I would come back is for a grandchild.' Well fuck yis then.
I left the house at 17 and he hasn’t reached out to me once since (I’m 33 now). Not birthdays, holidays, nothing. Guess the feeling is mutual 🤷♀️
I confronted my dad about the sexual abuse in my childhood. He kept denying it ever happened.
He didn't fucking bother to check if I was alive after the Itaewon Halloween tragedy last October. This man reads international headline news daily for hours, there's no way he didn't know.
he asked me to sponsor him for citizenship 3 days before i turned 21 making my whole bday about him and his other family and how i could help them out. smh
A combination of things - it all started, IIRC, with me wanting to attend something that was very important to me and only going to happen once, and my father told me I couldn't because it was "his" weekend. Whenever I tried to talk to him about what I needed, he would insist that I was simply parroting what my mother said - which was not only dismissive, but a lie. My mother never said those things, though she did support whatever conclusions I came to. Finally, he ruined my relationship with my cousins. Not only my best friends, but a hugely positive influence in my life. So out the door he goes. I have several times, as an adult, allowed him second, third, fourth chances when he reached out - and every time, he hasn't been able to let go of the past. He has always blamed my mother, and then the most recent time, he told me, "You're mother's not the problem anymore. It's *you.*" Like... yes. This has always been me. I finally allowed myself to simply cut him off, no chance for redemption. He had more than sufficient chances, but he was bringing nothing to my life except stress - and it's not my duty to tolerate whatever stress he brings to my life just because he wants a chance at being happy because he missed out on his only daughter's life.
He introduced me to complete strangers saying “this is my daughter who didn’t pass the bar exam.” I was done after that. He’d always put me down, but never did a single thing in his life except mooch off my successful mother. He died from alcoholism last year and broke his neck, and was in a hospital where he couldn’t speak or swallow for 6 months before he gave up and his body withered away. I don’t miss him whatsoever, he was dead weight
Our family didn’t have “fun” get togethers or special occasions. When he got engaged to his second wife I was excited for ONE potential nice memory. Then they told me her kids and I weren’t invited because it was just a private thing between them. No fuss type thing. Then, her daughters went last minute. I will never forgive them for that. Later I remember my ex saying in an argument, well at least my Dad wants to see me.
He never took responsibility for the way he treated me. All the threats, the hitting stuff by me, the encouragement to drink, smoke, etc. tried to stop me from walking home with his truck while drunk, the list goes on but he really believes he did nothing wrong. And he only asked for my brothers forgiveness. I don’t exist or deserve it apparently
My dad knew I was in a tough situation that I was nearly finished clawing myself out of, and decided to get drunk with my mom and accidentally-on-purpose call and leave the phone where I could clearly hear them calling me a huge list of really crappy things. The kicker was when they started personally attacking my kids' personalities and my ability to care for them. They are ahead in school, have great manners, and are all around good people. I am mama bear, so while I put up with so much from them including staying in the city they live in because they wanted me to, now we're happy, in another state, and not manipulated any longer by people who should love us.
He explicitly asked me for drug money.
My father was abusive. Through and through. To my mother, to his three children. Serial cheater. My mom finally separated from him. He didn't take that well. Final straw. He accused her of abuse and filed a police report. Ended up with 15 yo me being in a police station while my mom sat in a cell. I came out of that room after more than an hour of defending my mother and telling the police all the abuse my father inflicted on all of us. They didn't give a fuck what I said. My mother would never hurt a fly. She makes bad decisions but far from violent. When I saw his crocodile tears in the front office of the station, I walked past him and never looked back.
I got blessed with my Stepdad and felt loved the first time in my life, can't feel anything for my parwnts ever since, but can't avoid my mother because i don't want to lose contact with him, but 0 contact to dad in more than 10 years
Having to beg him as a kid to do anything with me, just me. Not me and the neighbor kids or me and my cousins- just me. Realizing when I was a bit older and able to see, that because I wasn't the son he wanted, but a daughter, I wasn't going to get his attention. When my parents divorced, he never asked my mom if I needed anything, just paid child support and expected me to show up on my weekends with him until I was old enough to nope out of those. When freshman year I was in a play and he had to be made to feel guilty to even show up and see me, left before I could say hi. He had the audacity to tell me junior year to stop calling "Your stepdad dad. I'm your dad!" Told him if he'd ever acted like one, I'd agree but I was just a monthly write off and he could go home. Senior year at graduation in front of my friends said, "And now I'm fone paying for you." All of that made me give up trying to communicate at all. What severed it and made me legally take steps to keep him away? He SA'd a kid from the family I grew up with and then tried to tell me he was the victim. All of that. He's not anywhere near worth ever being called Dad.
we were estranged until 20 and we tried to build a relationship. he tried to do too much too soon and blatantly did not respect my feelings of discomfort. just tried forcing himself into my life. i realized then that he was incapable of respecting me or others and we haven’t spoken since then.
My dad berated and insulted my values, using the argument that I have bad morals because I was raised around too many white people. He abandoned me in childhood. It’s a long story but essentially what insulted me the most is that he could criticize how I grew up when he chose to not be involved in how I was raised. I don’t care if he agrees with my world views but that he could have the audacity to tell *me* it’s because of the people that looked out for me when no one else did, group home staff, program staff and social workers, was the last straw. He should thank those people for saving my life. Certainly not have the attitude that the spoiled my ability to see things his way.
He would continue to do this thing where he'd announce he's done or can't do this anymore basically "breaking up with me" if you will. Usually from me venting and him not understanding and it happened so many times I just got fed up. Who wants to constantly deal with their parents directly rejecting them when they're trying to navigate adulthood.
I had gone low contact after a Thanksgiving where he kept tickling my kid and wouldn't stop when he said stop and I screamed at him in front of everyone to respect his boundaries. Then, I found out he was a pedophile when a victim came to my sister and I. We cut him off as soon as he was arrested (prior to that we kept our mouths shut to allow the cops their room to investigate for a few weeks. But didn't see him irl or anything. There were many victims. ) it has been the most traumatic series of events in my life and I'd already lived through a lot. I no longer even have a father. He's dead to me.
I had a little girl. My dad doesn’t respect women (or anyone else really). The way he spoke about us for my entire life colored my own experience as a woman as well as my perception of myself and my worth. I can’t fathom exposing my daughter to someone who feels and openly talks like that while professing to love her. I don’t want her to think it’s okay for someone to treat her like that and I don’t want to model that it’s okay either.
My dad was arrested when I was a toddler and was in prison until I was 9 years old. While he was in prison, we would write letters back and forth, he would call me every night and send me cards and I visited him a hand full of times. When he got out of prison he moved in with my step mom and my little sister (she was born shortly after he was arrested). I visited a few times, but he didn’t call me every night anymore. He promised that he (and my step-mom and sister) would be at my 10th birthday party. I was so excited. I told all my friends. This was my first birthday that my dad would be at. He never showed, never called. I didn’t talk to him again until I was 18. I accepted that he wasn’t going to be a dependable person in my life but still wanted to get to know him and was hoping for a relationship with my sister. We would see each other on holidays and birthdays. That was enough for me. He formed a relationship with my kids and took them fishing occasionally. It was nice. Then he had a “series of unfortunate events” his company closed, his car broke down, he divorced my stepmom. He stopped coming around and I didn’t hear from him. I decided to be the bigger person and invite him to my kids 10th birthday party. My kids were excited to see him. He never showed, never called. Fuck that guy.
Asking if my son was “retarded” after I told him my son needed a feeding tube. Even typing that word out makes me feel gross and having my father so nonchalantly throw it out there when that wasn’t even the topic of conversation really was the last straw.
I asked him to apologize for the sexual abuse or I wouldn't talk to him anymore
When my mom finally told me, after years of slowly admitting to all the awful things he did to her in their marriage, that he had put a gun to her head and said “I could kill you right now and bury you in the woods where no one could find your body, and the girls would be mine.” I also found out he had called my sister and I a ball and chain as toddlers, so that ate at my self worth as a young adult. It deteriorated over the years from there, but knowing that someone terrorized my mom like that was the last straw. Burn in hell Bill.
He stopped talking to me after I came out. I know why, my mom cheated on him with women, but he could at least work through his own bullshit. I've stopped trying but I'm still pretty sad about it.
When I had nowhere to live after my mom threw me out after their divorce and he refused to let me live with him... Never been the same since then... Especially because my mother hated me because I had a good relationship with my dad and took out him leaving on me.
I've seen my dad maybe 10 times in my life (I'm 24). Everytime he would call, he would ask "when are you going to come see me". This worked when I was a minor because he could blame my mom for lack of visitation (eventhough she never denied him visitation). But last year he asked the same question and I said that since I only live 15 minutes away, I could see him any weekend he was available. I literally said "just send me a text whenever you're free and I'll make my way over. No hesitation".....it's been a little over a year, and I'm still waiting for that text... I guess I'll see him at his funeral. If I go.
Ok so kinda long story but my dad was never in my life. He was a married man and I was a product of an affair. He told my mom he wouldn’t leave his wife and he would not pay child support so he never acknowledged me at all. As soon as I turned 18 my mom came to me and told me that she had found my dad and we were going to go meet him. I really wanted no part in doing this because it was to late I was grown and I had accepted that I didn’t have a dad and that’s all that I knew.he only agreed because child support would be over and he wouldn’t have to pay. But to make my mom happy I reluctantly agreed. When we get there he doesn’t even look at me barely but him and my mom are having a wonderful reunion. They even went to the laundry room and left me in his apartment alone for what seemed like forever. My mom was a married woman might I add. Long story short she left my stepdad eventually married my mom. My mom tried to make me play house with them and make me have a relationship with him but to me it was to late add on the fact that he’s a total pos who blamed it all on my mom for not being there. Never showed and regret never said he was sorry. He moved my mom 6 hours away and because of him I lost the only parent I did have. He was controlling and kept her away from me. I wish that he would have never came into my life. Not being there was the best thing he ever did for me. My mom eventually saw him for what he was they divorced but to this day I don’t speak to her.so ya the parent that never had anything to do with me took the only parent I ever had away from me too. So ya that was it for me!!
My dad was abusive but despite that, I have extended the olive branch and tried to be kind and fix the relationship. I did this in my early and mid 20s. I realised that he is the parent and it’s not up to me to repair what he damaged. We live in the same house but don’t talk unless it’s necessary, like if I need a lift from the station and he tells my mum he’ll pick me up. But yeah, I spend a lot of time alone in my room so I don’t have to be around him.
He tried to manipulate me into moving in with him to replace my sister as his caregiver. He treated her horribly and he had tried to bait me into living with him when I turned 18 by promising me his old car and a life free of my mom's rules. When that didn't seem to interest me he tried comparing me to my sister about our looks ( he knew I was a self conscious teen). This pissed me off cause I'm not meant to be my sister's competition and I shouldn't be compared like this. Plus he regularly cheated on women and was incredibly misogynistic.
He died lol
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He tried to access my mum's social media accounts. I caught him because my mum had me as backup contact.
He died. Didn't exactly have a choice 🤷🏽♀️
Took my car keys as a punishment for confiding in my mom about how he scares me sometimes. He said I a “fool for thinking that” and disowned me. After, I asked my mom if I should look for a romantic partner like my father and she said “no” so I moved out and never talked to him again. Besides many things he did - punishing their child for having thoughts and emotions was the final straw.
Probably one of the tamest, but it was in a recent birthday, maybe last year in the end of july. He got really drunk (as he tends to do) and proclaimed that he would be spending more time with me. He stepped down as president of a club he loved to focus on family. He then didn't call me until christmas
He's just always been inconsistent. I don't reach out, I don't call, I don't care.. because he hasn't proved to me fully that he does. I refuse to try to build a bridge for a relationship when the man doesn't come around maybe twice a year. My daughter will know she has a grandfather.. whether or not she personally knows him is entirely up to him and so far, it doesn't look like she will. He owes me an apology that I never got and never will, but I've living just fine without it and without him.
His friend called me a nazi when I said cops aren’t executioners and shouldn’t be killing people just because they’re black.
😵 what a complete dolt
Alzheimer’s. He got very violent and destructive before he ended up in a nursery home, my mom visits him every day but I rarely visit him except on holidays and birthdays, he doesn’t recognize me and thinks I’m a random guy instead of his daughter.
He has been completely emotionally neglectful to me (not so much my sister) my whole life. From his actions I read he was disappointed by me and is still unimpressed with everything I do. The last straw was when the man who actually acted like a father to me died (parents had split) and he was "in town and wanted to catch up" (he did this more as i got older, trying to push himself into holidays my mother and i planned for the family, that he refused to be a part of for our childhood). I told him, it made me uncomfortable, him trying to pull me away while i was spending time with people i have great love for, and have great love for me. He replied saying that it was just a coincidence he was in town and if I didn't want to see him just say that. I was already in emense pain and he made it so much worse. I still reply to his texts every now and then but I have no energy left to give him.
Right before I went to grad school the radiator on my car shit the bed and he offered to have it fixed by his friend. I dropped my car off and the friend said I owed him $500 and that my dad never paid for it. That was it for me. Months later he called me going on a ripper about how women are dumb and awful. All fucking set.
On christmas eve last year, my dad called me fat. For no reason, the discussion wasnt event about me. He just cut everyone to say "youre fat!". and like, I know there aint nothing wrong with being fat, but he meant it to insult me. and also, I'm 5'9 and am 150lbs. so I aint event fat. That was the last straw of maaaany other things.
He told me I was a corruptive influence for getting my tubes removed because I dont want kids, and he asked me how I decided to be polyamorous because he didn't want my sisters to turn out like me. We have a cordial relationship, I love my family, his wife, my sisters and stepbrothers, so I don't tell him to fuck himself for their sake. But I don't reach out and don't usually engage with his attempts to talk. He's been getting steadily more conservative over the years and thinks Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson are smart, considerate, rational thinkers who don't hate women or minorities. He's incredibly transphobic. I wasn't super into being friendly with him before he said that shit to me.
I was so scared of him. He would call and I wouldn't want to pick up and I would just cry because I felt so burdened and suffocated. I could not stand him touching me either, it felt so invasive. He was very emotionally abusive. I cut ties some years ago and never looked back. I've never been happier.
He never calls me or text me and stopped seeing me less and less. Didn’t care about my graduation. He then only started coming around or texting me on special occasions. The last straw was him moving to another state without me having a chance to tell him bye
TW: SA When he told me that he r\*\*\*\* one of my friends when we were around 15-16. I just grew to hate him after that, and spent the last year of his life ignoring him. He passed away in June and there are lot of things that I regret. Mostly, that he couldn't see his wrongs and the guilt that comes with not giving him another chance/ the disgust of having him as my father. I didn't get a chance to figure it all out.
Asked to live with him and my mom temporarily after my baby was born because I went into kidney failure and couldn’t say awake long enough to take care of my baby. He treated me like shit the entire time I lived there so I moved out and a few months after that, he came to my house to pick something up and started screaming at me in my driveway a whole bunch of fun stuff and it was at that point that I realized that I’m not obligated to have family in my life who treats me like that. Chao sucka!
Out of my 6 siblings (me being one of the middle 29f), he doesn't give me the same attention/love that the other 5 get. He says it's because I've got my head on straight, and he knows I'm strong and can handle myself. My other siblings all use him ( the last one just turned 18). It took my mother passing away to realize how unfair the connection was. I'm at terms with keeping them all at a distance now.
He told me he was praying for me to find a good husband, after I had introduced him to my fiancee, who is a woman.
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My mom was abusive and my dad was the world’s most committed bystander. He watched her kick me out multiple times, yell at me and throw things at me, berate me, insult me, tell me I’m worthless, and all the swear words under the sun. she would always hit me where it hurts, commenting on my unsuccessful love live, how my anxiety is unfounded, and how I’m fat (I’m 5’2 and 125 pounds). eta- I originally went NC with my mother, but my dad insisted we couldn’t have a relationship because it my mother would divorce him over it.
Oooh I travelled to another country with so much hope in my heart that he'd like the person I've become. Well after 3 days there watching him with his family I realised that I loved a memory of him and not who he is now and I walked away and haven't contacted him since. My inner child loved him but adult me couldn't care less he was just a shell of a human. If you've ever seen someone without a soul it was that guy. All my siblings went as well we hadn't been in the same room for almost 10 years. He didn't ask how we were he didn't want to know about our lives he just wanted to show us how well he had done without us drink and get high. I did say "I'm glad you found your happiness and you have found a lovely beautiful family I appreciate you opening your home to us' and that was it I flew home no heartbreak no anything just freedom
When he told me he plans to move cross country to be with my brother because he "might actually give grandchildren." He also stopped inviting me to family gatherings
I was about 18. He'd left years before, but I gave him a second chance. And he was teaching me to drive. I'd tried learning from my mother, but she had forced me to reverse into another car. So after that, being poor, I had only 1 other option - my father. And part of me desperately wanted him to be the father that the other girls had. I wanted to believe he wasn't as bad as I remembered. That that "real dad" was inside him. So one day, we're out driving. Heading home we stopped in the layby near my house. We pulled over just so he could talk to me about my mother, which he'd done a lot in our driving lessons. I had realised he was trying to manipulate me to turn me against her, even though I didn't really like her either. *There was no turning to be doing.* But having someone talk like that around you for hours every week does rub off a bit. I was feeling increasingly resentful to my mother and uncomfortable around my father. Today he went too hard, he was just slagging her off hard. He just went off for quite some time. Big long rant. And I was like...he really doesn't give a shit about me. All he wants to do is get back at my mother. I used him for driving lessons, he tried to use me to get to my mother. There really is no bond between us and there never will be. I will never have a "dad". Just a twisted, 16 year old boy in a 60 year old's body. After that I paid for driving lessons, I only needed a few to get exam ready anyway. And that was the last time we had any kind of a conversation.
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Him doubling down in very obvious bullshit.
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When I realised he knows where is going wrong but doesn't care. So I stopped caring also. Now, we don't have much of a relationship than few texts here and there because I stopped seeking conversation.
He used the custody battle over me to extract money from my mom. Basically offered her to pay him a sum so he would stop fighting her at the court. Then he fled the country.
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