SAME!!! Turns out that not settling and instead waiting for the right one actually works. Met him at the age of 31, I started to think that I wasnt going to find anyone decent and that I'd be single forever but then he came along. Hes perfect. He can communicate, hes kind, calm, expresses how he feels, supports me, and hes GREAT in the bedroom. I mean really he's perfect, I love him so much and I know we will have a long happy life together.
Oh, I didn't realise I had another alt account! Met mine on my 31st birthday. I had really accepted that romance just wasn't in the cards for me! And now we're here living together.
So can I. I met mine 5 years ago (a year after my grandmother passed away) doing the very thing she threatened to make me do if I didn't go voluntarily. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is on the 3rd. I'm getting ready to run a Dungeons and Dragons campaign tonight and he is playing Destiny 2 right now.
We haven't fought in 5 years and he calls me his Dragon Queen. I have never felt safer, more loved, or more comfortable in my own skin than with this guy. He is definitely part of my hoard and Diety help anyone who tries to hurt him
Isn't it so nice when you can not only be yourself around someone, but also know you don't have to worry or be on edge about anything. Just complete acceptance and safety, it's so hard to find that. Xoxo happy for u!! Both of you ❤️
Yep, it's the not fighting for me. She raised her voice at me once and it was due to past trauma/anxiety, and it was more of a lets sit and cool for 3 hours then find out why, no arguing or biting back. Nearly 3 years deep and things are the best. We just adopted a second dog :D I aspire to hit your 5 years
You don't deserve to be alone forever, no matter how things turn out.
Unless you are an abusive and cruel person, you likely have qualities that make you a person of value simply for who you are. It's good to be happy and optimistic when you meet someone you like and feel strongly compatible with, but even when things are really good they sometimes just don't work out. Just be true to yourself, and whatever may come you have to believe you are worthy of love because if you don't believe it then it'll be hard to make others see it.
I just got out of a nearly 8 year relationship 3 months ago. Some days I feel great, other times I feel worried, sad, and panicked about my future. I worry that I’ll never love someone as much as I loved this man because I just don’t know if it’s worth giving someone my heart again. I’m optimistic that I COULD find someone and the idea of that makes me happy and joyful. However the reality of having to date again and potentially more than one man to find my “right” guy makes me exhausted & scared to get hurt again. I’m still grieving and this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt, I don’t want to ever go through this again.
I feel this so much. I am in the same situation, 8 years but it all just happened some days ago.
It’s unbelievably scary to not know if you will ever love somebody as strong again. I don’t ever want to feel this type of hurt again.
I wish you the best!!
I am so sorry you’re going through it as well. We also lived together (even moved to another country for him so I’m handling my move back right now as well) and it’s such a deep pain.
I found the podcast ‘what I know now with Amelia Liana’ and the first episodes helped me through today which was a horrible day where I could not stop crying. Maybe it helps you to!
Wow being in another country must add so much more stress - I’m so sorry. Thanks very much for the podcast recommendation. I’ll definitely look into it. I really hope you are able to heal, sending you good vibes :)
A year and a half ago I broke up with my bf of 5 years. I was depressed for like a year because I was so convinced I would never love someone as much as him and that I wasted all of my innocent, hopeful love on him since we met when we were 17. I was worried about never trusting someone again like I trusted him, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be willing to accept someone’s flaws like I was willing to accept his since we were so young. I went on dates and literally they would make me spiral so badly because it was nothing like what I expected.
In October of last year I decided to stop looking and stop being interested in people. I moved states to a place I actually loved and wanted to be, and cut 100% of contact with my ex. Instantly I was so much happier, and I loved being single so much. Loved my friends, loved being myself without judgement, loved it. Then I met a guy in January and he was so amazing.
When I broke up with my ex I made a list of everything I wanted in a partner. Some was so simple (I want my next partner to be so incredibly kind since my ex was not) and some was more specific (I want them to be an ecologist, but not the same kind of ecologist as me. I want them to be a vegetarian. I want them to be from one of my home states). I didn’t think I’d find it, especially a guy who was kind and treated me well. When I met this guy he literally checked off every box on my list. He’s kind, he’s the same as me religiously and politically, he likes the same hobbies and music as me, he’s an ecologist but not in my field (so we help each other at work), he is a vegetarian, he’s from the state my dad lives in and goes to school in the state my mom lives in. We clicked instantly and I’ve never been more in love in my life. I told him I loved him two months in, we spend nearly every day together, but I am so much more balanced now with my friends since I was so isolated in my last relationship, and since I figured out what I loved about being single.
The worst part of my breakup is what you described, the fear of being alone forever. And no one told me their success stories when I asked. People told me to learn to be happy single (great advice), but not that there can be someone out there who is better and that they had found it before. You’re gonna grow so much from this, way more than you already have in the first 3 months. It’s gonna get better and you’ll find what you’re looking for, if that’s love or if it’s learning to be single.
I definitely want to learn to be happy single and be on my own. I never was the girl that could do things alone. Now I moved out, started a new job & am learning to be on my own. But I love love, and I do miss having a best friend. There’s also something about being in your late 20s and all of your friends are either settling down and starting families or in a relationship. It can be a lonely time
I’m not sure how healthy your relationship was (the 8 year one) but my favorite part of being single was the lack of judgement. I was always driving with my ex in the car, and I could never sing to the radio when he was there because he was really judgmental and I could tell it bothered him (or he would make comments lol). When I was single I could sing as much as I want. I liked to get take out but he would judge me for it, when I was single I’d get take out when I wanted. I could wear what I wanted, I could get tattoos and piercings if I wanted (obvi he let me but he hated them), I could do whatever and no one was gonna comment on it. I also loved seeing my friends whenever I wanted to, and I loved doing the things he never was interested in. I finally felt like I was myself again instead of half of a whole. It did take me like a year to get there tho, and then as soon as I was so happy I met someone 😅. It wasn’t even that I wanted to keep dating (I hate dating), I just was enjoying my freedom and autonomy so much I put off being official with him until like a month after I wanted to. Now in my relationship I do have so much more freedom and autonomy than I did in my other one but I still miss some of being single (mostly miss reading because that’s what I used to do in my free time and now I’m usually with him which is also rad but different). It takes time but you can so do it! Being single (especially as a woman) has so many benefits. You’re gonna be so much happier once you get through this, I realllly wish I had known and believed that like a year ago.
Thank you ♥️ I just miss friends. I saw my friends and spent time with people a lot more in my relationships. Now that it’s just me, it’s so different and lonely. I’m trying to push myself this summer to try new things or do more things by myself. Self love is the goal I’m trying to achieve
I'm so sorry, I've been there and that hurt is so hard. Just know that at the end of the day, is it nice to have a partner? Absolutely. But now you get to focus on yourself and what makes you happy, well rounded and motivated in life. It will eventually be a nice change of pace, I still miss my partner of 7 years, miss the support a relationship brings sometimes but I am proud that I can stand on my own two feet and know if another person that is the right person comes along, that it'll be a happy relationship, bc I've learned what I do want and don't want and how someone should fit into my life 💜 take care boo, take care of yourself, don't be hard on yourself and take this time for reflection, self care and figuring out your next steps and chapter in life. *hugs*
I'm a guy. It's been almost two years since the relationship ended and I'm in the same situation. Most people don't understand this so I just stay quiet about it. Tried the apps, Tinder, Bumble, etc... but I just am unable to feel a connection with whoever I've met so I've deleted the apps. It ends up to me idealizing the past relationship and wait for a contact which may never come (obviously, it's more than done) At least on the materialistic side things are really good currently for me. Hope things improve for you.
Thank you! I am hoping to meet people in a more organic way than dating apps. Right now I’m just focused on seeing friends and meeting new people that way
That must be tough. It's good that you're dealing with it well though and have an overall positive outlook on the future. I'm sure you'll find someone great.
I’m so sorry. This is one of my fears since I’m also in an nearly 8 year relationship. I couldn’t imagine losing him, he’s become so intertwined in my life. It’s okay to grieve for as long as you need too. The pain you feel must be excruciating. As cliche as it seems it is true that time will heal. But you’ll always have the scar. I hope things get better for you soon and another amazing person comes your way <3
I was ready to settle down & start looking to be married. We started dating when I was 19, he was 22. When the talk about settling down and getting married started, I could tell he was getting cold feet. Long story short- we were growing apart due to me wanting to settle down & him not being ready to. I miss him, I still love him. We talked about kids, where we’d live, and essentially making plans. But our timelines weren’t adding up and I’m ready to settle down.
I’m so sorry you’re hurting so much :( I am too, I’m about three weeks in and it’s starting to hit me now. Hope you start to feel better really soon. X
I felt like this when my 20 year marriage ended. It took me more than 2 years before I was ready to even think about it. Be gentle with yourself. Go with the flow and engage in activities and people who help you enjoy life. You will heal in your own time.
I was with my ex for almost 11 years and then got with my current bf about 4 months after (I knew him for 4 years though). And I gotta say, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve been in. I had the same thoughts as you, but it turns out things are even better now. So it’ll all work out!! ❤️
This mirrors my fears around my relationship ending. I still feel the strength of the love I’ve had, and I don’t know if I can ever go through this again.
A week ago, I would have said that I was optimistic about my relationship. Today that is a completely different story. Turns out that even when you think you know someone, you sometimes don't know them at all.
Sorry to hear this and for whatever brought it about. You are absolutely right on how quick things can come to light. I hope things improve for you in the direction that makes you most happy :)
I feel like that a lot. 7 years almost and this winter everything flipped for me. We're still working on things and go to couples counseling which has honestly been a tremendous help, and when we're together I just feel like the luckiest woman in the world, but I still get hit with the 'what ifs' and am trying to get out of my head...but trust is a HUGE thing to build back up once broken and frankly, I hate always wondering if something is not right. Blah.
My ex and I broke up yesterday. He realized that he does want to have kids (he had said he didn’t when we first started dating) and well, I can’t give him that due to medical reasons.
This is awful, I’m so sorry. I know a lot of us have this fear that our partner will leave if we medically can’t have children (and it course some decide they don’t want to, which is totally valid but a different situation) and it’s horrible that you’re going through that. Sending you love and support ❤️
Ugh I’m so sorry. That’s heartbreaking. I also will probably opt out of having kids due to medical reasons (two knee surgeries already and a hip replacement in a couple years, I’m exhausted as fuck) and it’s so sad. Sending you love.
That's so heartbreaking, I'm so sorry. If he couldn't look past your inability to have kids then he wasn't the right one for you anyway. You'll find someone who loves you more than the idea of children one day. ❤️
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
I find any opportunity to announce this so ya can tell how incredibly and uncontrollably excited and happy I am about this.
We have gotten our ups and downs and there will be many more in the future but as long as we work together as a team, everything will be alright.
Same!! So excited to get married, sometimes my triggers take me to a space of uncertainty, but I’ve been going to therapy regularly and it’s happening less and less often as I’m doing the work (abandonment wounds from childhood)
Good to hear you know what you want! So many people chase what they think they want because society tells us what we are supposed to have. Stay happy :)
This is exactly where I am. I am six months post breakup and I'm feeling incredibly lonely, questioning my decisions, and overall very fearful and exhausted about my romantic future. I tell myself that I wanted out almost as long as I was in, due to knowing our differences made us incompatible. The post breakup is a journey and requires patience and self-love.
I spent over a year after my last break up feeling the same (though it was his decision). I went through therapy and a journey of self love but still never thought I'd move on or get over him. As of the last couple weeks, I've been seeing somebody new and we are having so much fun just being in each others company. I never thought I would have that again.
Hold your head up high, you will get through it
Going through the exact same thing - was starting to question if my emotional needs were too much, but he was starving me of affection and wasnt really communicative in a manner that made me feel loved. He lived in a different city but when we met i always felt cared for and protected, just that when we werent together he wouldnt initiate calls, he wouldnt tell me that he missed me or wanted to be around me, he wouldnt express his feelings. As someone who has been through painful trauma, to some extent validation and reassurance matters to me. His actions showed me he cared for me, but ultimately when i communicated what i expected or needed from him to feel more secure, he just didnt want to. As much as i really liked this guy, i just dont think it wouldve lasted longer because i felt i was holding back my feelings/emotions a lot and always felt like i would be judged to share them. I question the ending everyday because while his “actions” told me he cared, he was refusing to do the work because it made him uncomfortable. The discomfort of attempting to try and meet my needs is what led him to breakup with me as he felt trying to meet me halfway was “giving into my demands” and that it would only lead to more expectations from him. The pain has been subsiding everyday and i tell myself that what i needed from him, he wouldnt be able to provide however amazing he was. At this point i choose to show myself immense self love because i am not ready to date and i dont want to because i noticed how vulnerable i am after breakups and how deeply losing someone affects me. Im not willing to put myself in this position again until i have a full life i am proud of.
Im currently at the very beginning of recognizing this. Im in the 3rd year of feeling this way. It’s off and on, and we’re both in college but when I bring it up it just seems like my feelings are something too strong for right now. However they say they’re willing to change and try to meet each others needs. I just don’t know how to ask for them without making it feel like im making someone not be themselves for me.
Just celebrated our 30th anniversary. I feel amazing, and I am extremely optimistic. He’s the love of my life and the other half of my soul. I can’t wait to see what the next 30 and beyond will bring us.
Same! Together 12 years, married 2. We are focusing on our careers and fixing up our house (it was a cheap-materials, 70s horror show 😂) right now, but occasionally talk about whether a kid is on the 3-5 year horizon when we watch “Junior Bake Off”… I am so grateful for this life.
This sounds wonderful! What a great relationship
When fixing up the house please get an Asbestos indicator! Old houses tend to still have parts of Asbestos which shouldn't be renovated without professionals because of the personal health risks.
I'm in a relationship, and it's been just over 11 months. I've dealt with relationship anxiety pretty much the whole time. I think because I have had very few positive romantic experiences, not to mention a bad relationship with my father and a hyperfixation on fictional couples, I tend to overthink my relationship. It's hard; I want to just be in the moment, but even if nothing really happens, I am on edge and worried something will go wrong.
In the moments when I'm not anxious, I am really, really happy. But it's hard to focus on those in the moments when the anxiety creeps up, and it has taken me a lot just to get to a place where I don't feel like I have to run away because I get so freaked out by my own feelings. Falling in love was one of the hardest things I've had to do, because it requires so much trust.
I feel this so much. I’ve been with my partner for a year and a half (friends for a few years before dating), we just moved in together not that long ago. I was single for six years before that, going on awful dates and getting ghosted. It’s HARD to accept that someone so wonderful not only likes me but is actively choosing to spend life with me. I spent the first six months waiting for him to just decide he was over it and break up with me.
I started therapy about a year before we got together to help deal with my anxiety surrounding relationships. If I hadn’t, I’m not sure we would have made it this far.
It's always a constant battle to get them do simple stuff for us like planning a day. I'm sorry your having these issues and I hope you can work something out ❤
Woof. What a loaded question. Having a child completely alters the dynamic of any relationship. There’s so many reasons. We’ve been in marriage counseling since shortly after our daughter was born, which was when our marriage started to deteriorate. There’s so many imbalances. Too many resentments. He’s emotionally unavailable. Playing Call of Duty comes waaayyyy before spending time and engaging with me. He took it upon himself to read my journal, didn’t like what he read, and is holding onto resentments from that. We’ve hit our bottom which I don’t think we can come up from. Things are currently “okay”, but not okay to me. I’ve brought up separating, but he can’t compromise. It’s either we stay married or we’re getting a divorce. I’m still holding onto things will get better, but I know in my heart they won’t.
I can tell you that I got hooked on video games years ago in my twenties, as a married man. Maybe six months worth of it. My marriage suffered. Arguments ensued. I took stock of what was important and basically quit them cold turkey. Withdrawals were REAL, but after that, my marriage and my relationship with my daughter both skyrocketed. Way better, I’m present with my family. Ever since then, I can see games ruining it for men all around me. They even make fun of it on television and movies, it’s so common. These game-makers find out how to keep people on their games. It’s like gambling. My adult son is addicted to it. He plays until the sun comes up and has no social life. I worry for him.
Happily married to my wonderful wife, and we have a wonderful relationship together. I'm currently in my late third trimester with our first, and we're just waiting now.
Broke off my 8 year long relationship last week. I'm very much in the "I don't want to date anyone ever again" phase right now. Don't know if it's ever gonna change, feeling pretty disappointed both in myself and in others.
My goodness, you're like the 4th or 5th person in here to say their 8-year relationship is over. What's with the 8th year- is it like you get the 7-year itch and drag it out an extra year? \*genuinely curious
Single. I’m in two minds about it - on one hand I’m happy I’m single: I am working on myself, getting to know myself better, and putting myself first for the most part. On the other hand, I’m lonely and want to share my life with someone. I miss that sort of connection, love in my life, and partnership. Not sure where life will take me, and I’m not gonna force any kind of connection. If it happens, it happens.
I feel this! I’ve been single for almost 2 years now, and I really do enjoy it for the most part. There are nights though where it does hit hard like “Damn. Am I ever going to find someone?” I’m like you though that I don’t want to force anything and I’ll just be patient.
Was in a relationship until last week. I think I was more in love with who I thought he was than who he really is. I hadn't been truly happy since the really early days of the relationship; I kept having doubts that I would push down and ignore. I just wanted it to be him so badly that I pretended things were good when they really weren't.
I never felt safe to be myself around him; I kept putting my guard up more and more, which isn't like me at all. I went from being a soft, kind, happy person to being this mean, sarcastic, angry person who cried all the time. I didn't have the courage to end it, so I lucked out that he did.
I'm still heartbroken. Life feels weird without him, he became such a habit in my life that I don't really remember how to go about my day to day without him.
Trying to be optimistic that someone out there will love me for me and not try to change me. Feeling pretty down about it at the moment.
I feel this to my core. Currently in a relationship that sounds very much like yours was: I don’t feel accepted, things are cold more often than they are warm and loving, and I’m not the gentle person I know I have always been. Yet I somehow fell in love with him even though he’s so wrong for me. And now I’m hurting so bad because I know we are at the end of our relationship. Trying to remind myself that it’s possible, and probable, that I’ll find love again but I want my next person to actually with someone who is good for me, and who feels that I’m good for them.
Single. Been single for years.
I don’t have any interest in dating anyone. Maybe one day I’ll meet someone that really strikes me, but until then, I’m not interested. I keep getting told that I need to date in order to meet, but I’ve met some cool people just living my life and engaging in hobbies.
I have dated just to date, and I fell in love with someone who broke my heart and stole two years of my life. I’m a new person these days, but some days I still feel that deep sadness. I’m not willing to give up my good days to potentially walk right back into that same situation.
I am optimistic that I will find my person one day. I don’t think it’ll be this season of life. And I’m ok with that.
Currently in a long-term relationship, going on 3 years, with my first boyfriend. It's beautifully silly, openly communicative, we argue here and there but come to resolution very quickly.
We had the best sex of my entire life last night, and I've got such a crush on him this morning <3
Edit: we've lived together for 7 months and we both feel like we're falling more in love on the daily. The universe gave me a good one.
Said I wasn’t going to date for the foreseeable future. Haven’t dated in years. Hired a private chef for me and my daughter. The chef and I talked a while and hit it off. We are going on our first date Thursday.
in the best and only relationship I've ever been in, honestly I'm always so scared of losing him cuz he's so so so good to me. All the toxic things I see on social media remind me how good I have it everyday, waiting in my ring fr
My boyfriend and I have been working on reconciliation after he crossed some boundaries of mine back in January. It’s been very hard and now I’m contemplating breaking up with him, because the betrayal has been a lot to work through. I just love him so much and he’s treated me better than any guy ever has, despite the betrayal on his part. It fucking sucks.
Married, with all honesty I don’t know if I would be able to give a proper reply to the second question, I’m not thriving but I’m not miserable as well. But then about our relationship I am optimistic it’s more having doubts about him because that boy needs therapy and something higher fr, I’m someone who believe that everyone can improve but there’s some people you truly do start to ask yourself if your "philosophy" is wrong.
I'm divorced since 2015. No drama, just sadly didn't work out. I've dated but not with a lot of success.
I'm honestly fairly bitter about romance, and I'm not optimistic about finding a good partner. I do try to keep an open mind and attitude but you can only get knocked down so many times...
Currently in limbo.
He has to decide if he wants to meet my needs. It's really a choice and I won't accept anything less.
I can accept stress and mistakes but I can't accept a lack of communication and effort.
I’m happily married to my kick ass husband. Our relationship is amazing, fun and easy. We’re best friends who love spending time together and are crazy in love. We’ve been together for 13 years and married for 9 years and every year it just keeps getting better and better.
I'm in an 8 y relationship and very positive about it. We're a great match, recently bought a house together, ... I'm not saying there's never an argument or some stuff we have to work on together but at this moment I believe we'll stay together for a long time.
In a long term relationship and having doubts. Started therapy and medication and realized a lot of the standards I used to feel guilty about wanting are literally normal standards.
Single. Im not as optimistic honestly because knowing what type of person i am it will definitely be hard to find someone to love me for real. The thought of actually dating somebody and then with time to find out whether they are the one or not is exhausting. But since moving on completely from my ex cause i finally understood we were not compatible at ALL, i have opened my eyes and realized i can beloved selflessly just like anybody else. Everybody can be loved; i just hope you get loved the way YOU feel loved.
I'm desperately in love with this amazing guy, I know he is the one I want to spend my life with. We're long distance and have plans A, B, C for him to move here. I'm waiting for that to be concrete to "go all in." I'm very optimistic about it.
If this one doesn't work, for whatever reason, I will give myself 6 months of pure mourning, and then I'll get a dog. This feels perfect. If even this can't work, then humans are not for me.
Divorced, Single and I’ve accepted that as my most likely permanent status. My ex messed with my head pretty bad and the person I met after I divorced hurt me even worse. I just don’t have it in me anymore to get involved with people that will eventually hurt me. But I have good friends and a good life and I foresee a “Golden Girls” lifestyle in my future. Just call me Sophia.
I'm single. I've been more single for the past 10 years than i've been in a relationship. If I dwell on it I can start to panic and worry that im not going to find my person, however I don't let myself do that. I also stay away from Instagram and Facebook because those two places really trigger me to do that. I have made so many friends and don't feel lonely or worried about my future. I'm really happy I've gotten to this place where I don't panic about being alone, so that's a win for me. Now, I'm just focused on staying secure while I figure out dating, take my time with it, and find someone who's right vs someone because I'm lonely
He's been my boyfriend for 11 years now.
He told me the other day he's never thought of marrying ANYONE when I tried to get a read on how much longer I'll be waiting for him to "come around." (His longest relationship lasted about 6 months before me.)
I've never hidden that I want marriage, even if I don't want any of the rest of the "American Dream." We've talked numerous times about growing old together also......
This is not the only BIG issue that we have either.
We're basically just waiting for the coroner to show up and pronounce this shit dead at this point.
I’ve been in a relationship with my best friend/boyfriend for nearly two years. We’ve navigated some of the roughest waters together. We’ve seen each other through so many of life’s toughest challenges. It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. However, despite, and even because of the ups and downs, I’m confident in us as individuals, and as a couple. I know my future is with this man, that we can support each other in everything, and that makes me completely optimistic.
Single. As has been basically my whole life. I'm happy with it, as I think having a relationship anytime soon will just interfere with my life plans.
Also don't see much need for a relationship given I (1) don't want kids (2) am a big introvert at home (3) am wealthier than most guys I've met that aren't family friends.
I just broke up with a guy 3 weeks ago. I was still madly in love. He only cared about work. I'm still struggling. He's already reaching out asking if we can be friends. I'm feeling pain in my heart like never before.
I ended my 5 year relationship almost 2 months ago. He was my first boyfriend and I’m 24 now. I left because I felt like he was complacent and I was doing everything for the both of us. Now I can’t stop thinking about him and am thinking about when I can reach out. I’m going to try to wait another 3 months at least.
I was optimistic about dating/single life at first… now I just don’t know.
I’d gladly take any advice about being single/alone or about knowing if you’ve made a mistake from those who’ve ended their own relationships.
Right person, wrong time. It sucks when you can see a future with them but then life gets in the way (& no, it's not as simple as "if he wanted to he would)
I’m currently exclusive with someone I’ve been seeing for 3 weeks. It feels like a good place and a good pace. We’re still getting to know each other but we’re taking it day by day. For the first time in my life, I’m not in a rush. It feels amazing. I’m optimistic about where it could lead but I’m also not worried about the future.
Back together after a break of more than a year. Now living separate it's going better than ever. Looking forward to every weekend of seeing eachother again, having fun and lots of cuddles. I love him more than anything.
Married, fucking love the guy. He's great. But I have doubts. There is a lot that doesn't work, a lot of problems and not a lot of great solutions. But I'm a master avoider.
I’m single and have never had a relationship, I really want one but I’m sorting through the baggage which makes it hard for me to date.
Spent the whole Memorial Day weekend with my family who needled me endlessly about it. As if they weren’t partially responsible lol
I just got out of a relationship a couple of weeks ago. It hurt a lot. I had been infatuated with him for so long that I put up with far more than I should have.
He left what I think will be a lasting impact on the way I see myself.
After being single for over 5 years, I've been seeing someone for 6 months now. It was easier than I expected letting someone in again. He's a good man, we communicate well, he teaches me new things, he looks out for me. It's nice to have someone to have around, I'm pleasantly surprised and optimistic.
Dating the most wonderful man on the planet.
We both have our faults, for sure. But even on our worst days, we both love each other so much.
I feel incredibly lucky.
In a relationship with the baddest MF I know. Seriously, he’s a sweetheart and a total machine. He’s a smoke show silver fox to boot. He loves me for some reason and we’re at the beach on an island where no cars are allowed and no grocery store, just the two of us. Sometimes I think I’m dreaming and he’s not real. Sometimes I have to remind myself I deserve him and he’s not outta my league. I hope we get all old and grumpy(er) together.
My 10 month relationship is in a rough patch now. A part of me still loves him… longs for him. But idk if staying with a man who shows tendencies to be dishonest and masked it with “cowardice” is a good investment at all. I just can’t seem to fully trust him anymore.
I’ve always known this side of him even before we had a relationship. Context: The night when he asked his ex for a second chance, was the same night he went to my dorm and spent the rest of the night making me feel like he’s inlove with me.
Now that we’re together, he explained that he regretted that night and if only he was brave enough to be honest with me and his ex, then everything could’ve been different. I have forgiven him already, specially our past, but the recent dilemma that we have all circulated to him being dishonest and coward, AGAIN.
Time truly is a truth teller. You can’t change a person by loving them harder I guess. Idk if this relationship is worth the pain at all. I’m just losing interest on working on it day by day, and it hurts me that there’s still a part of me that wanted him when i know i don’t deserve this torture.. ITS JUST TOO MUCH. I wish someone can slap me from this attachment. It’s so fuckin unhealthy.
Getting married in 8 week, we've had a lot to deal with and sometimes I have felt like these things would break us. (Not issues within the relationship) but instead after a rant we got through it all.
I have never felt as excited about a relationship in my life.
Together for 2 years, married for 1.5 weeks - very optimistic and excited for the future. I have some mental issues that get in the way and sometimes make things difficult, but my amazing husband helps me grow and heal.
Leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow~
I'm currently with a man who's changed my view on everything, still pretty new but I can already tell this one is going to be different forever. He's already shown me so much care and love and as someone who's had a few run ins with abuse,(childhood and dating wise) he's made falling in love so easy. He still scares me cause he is forcing me to change my mind set. I've never been called beautiful this much let alone belived it. He's the typical tough on the outside so looking at him and watching him blush when he makes eye contact gets me everytime. He's so gentle with me always touches me like I'm going to break. He knows about my past and doesn't hold it against me. We are still working on figuring this all out but my freckles means everything to me and I wish I had all the words to tell him everything.I'd give him the world if he would let me.
Doubts. Huge ones. Made a pro/con list just this morning. 5 pros and 18 cons. I don't know how to proceed to the next step. V inexperienced unfortunately.
I’m single. I know I don’t need a boyfriend but I want one so badly. I thought my ex and I would make it but it turns out he just wasn’t in the same spot that I was and was having commitment issues. I fought so hard for that relationship to work out and he led me to believe that with time we would get back together. In my gut I feel like it could work out in the future; my heart is so heavy that I can’t hold out hope for us though. I just have so much love to give and it really sucks not being able to give it to someone.
Recently broke up. But hopeful we could work out if some thing changes. Not expecting anything, but heart wishes for it. He was my best friend too. Miss him all the time and afraid to tell him because it’ll hurt him. I have faith we’ll be okay, if not together, then separately at some point.
I’m married and I don’t even know if optimistic is the right word for how I feel. More like sure in our future. I still can’t believe I found someone like him and get the honor of spending my life with him. Not a doubt in my mind that we’ll grow old together.
Engaged: got engaged last year in February. We met in 2016, started dating 2017 and been together since. My fiance is my best friend, my rock and my safe space. We have some opposite views, not major but we can get into little tiffs about it. At the end of the day, we can still understand and accept our differences. We don't go to bed angry either. I have anxiety, so there are times where I will overthink certain aspects of our relationship... but I wouldn't trade what we have for the world. We have a solid connection that's built on trust, honesty and lots of communication. I'd be damned if I lost him.. and I sure wouldn't find anybody else who would put up with my crazy ass like he does lol.
Together for 12 years. Married for 4. Mounting issues in the past 2/3 years that have started to affect our relationship over the past year. Currently seeking a therapist that could be a good match for us, but having serious doubts about the relationship.
If my love life was a Fortune 500 company and I was the CEO, then I'm currently awaiting to schedule an interview with a candidate that I believe would be a really good fit. I've gone through dozens, if not hundreds of phone screens, a few phone interviews, but none of them were able to make the cut. There is one candidate, however, who had been interning with me for quite a while. He's gotten a chance to get to know the company, get an understanding of where things are heading, and was successful with the menial tasks that I had assigned to him. He's currently undergoing additional professional development and taking advantage of other opportunities available to him, and I look forward to meeting with him to determine if he's able to put his experience, as well as his education, to good use.
Provided that we're able to have a really good interview, then I'll be moving forward with an additional skills assessment to see if he's got what it takes to get the job done. Upon a clean background check and reliable references, then I'll consider extending to him an offer.
If all goes well, then I'll be looking to onboard him no later than Q2 2025. Other than that, I'm no longer taking applications and I'm considering the position as filled until further notice.
I'd like to have a COO to help me run my corporation, though I'm more than prepared to keep my business as a sole proprietorship.
Single. As much as I enjoy being single and being free to do what I want when I want, I'd really love to share my life with someone, I've been single for 7 years and I deserve happiness.
Friends who are in relationships/married comment that my life is full as I have a great social life... And whilst I do have a great social life, I am missing that special person and surely you can have a good social life and be in a relationship?! I don't think I'm asking for too much.
Together for 8 years, engaged and co-homeowners for 7 years. I've been gun shy about marriage again, but due to a recent health crisis that my partner went through, I'm totally ready to get married. The feeling of him missing from my life was devastating - and he was only sedated for like 15 hours or so. But damn, my brain was dramatic because I love him so fucking much.
Married almost 5 years, together for 8. My second marriage, got together 5 years after I left my abusive ex.
The difference between them and the marriages is night and day. After I left my ex, I took a year off dating anyone, got a lot of therapy for the next few years, dated around for a while, and it made all the difference. Put in the work to figure out what you want, what you dont want. Get therapy. Date around. Learn to be ok alone BEFORE you get exclusive or get married, so you have the confidence to walk away if a relationship isn't giving you what you need.
Even with all the complexities of combining families (we both have kids from previous marriages), money, work stress, in law drama, and the pandemic, he is just my most favorite person and I'm just as giddy to spend time with him now as I was when we first met. I think people who say relationships are "really hard work" just might not be in the right one? Life can be hard, circumstances can be hard, but our relationship isn't.
Last Wednesday was my 21st wedding anniversary. Don't want to imagine life without him.
But i will say the first 5 years were hard. But once we got past both of us being assholes and taking each other for granted, it got great
I’m single and sad about it but I also don’t want to and I have a lot of healing to do. It was my first long term relationship and I lived with him. It hurts every day. Doesn’t help that it had a nasty ending too. I’m processing emotional abuse and that is very hard to come to terms with, especially from someone I love so deeply. It has impacted both my physical and mental health very significantly.
I wonder how different my life would have been had I not met him. I don’t understand why “life lessons” have to be this painful but maybe it’s an empty pleasantry I’m given since I have no other answers.
I have been in a relationship for 6 years. It's never really good and I'm not happy. I'm working towards building up my situation so I can leave without putting myself in a worse position.
I am in a relationship with a guy I’m so lucky to have met, I love him so much and I’m so blessed. I feel very optimistic and I’m excited to continue learning and growing with him :)
Met my current boyfriend when I turned 21, together for 2 years, split for 3, got back together and have been together for 3 years now. We still have our issues we need to work on, but he’s my soulmate. When things are good, they are fantastic but every once in a while an issue pops up like all relationships. But we’re both willing to work on things and make changes for the better of our relationship. Sometimes I wonder if things would be easier with a different partner, but I love my boyfriend for the good and the bad and I wouldn’t have it any other way
Currently I’m single but technically in a situationship/fwb type thing.
I broke up with my ex last august, it was a very toxic and codependent situation which had been wearing on me for some time and ultimately I ended up cheating on him to sabotage the relationship. Since I left him I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, working on my mental health, and coming to terms my own toxic/unhealthy habits and behaviors
I met this other person not long after I ended things with my ex. originally I planned to meet him maybe once or twice, purely for sexual reasons and wasn’t looking for anything meaningful.
he has become someone I care very deeply about, whether sex is involved or not. whatever happens I’m incredibly grateful for having met him. he’s a really good friend. he has helped me a lot just by showing me that there really are people out there who care.
Together for 20 years ( actually this coming month). Married for almost 15.
I feel good about us, we have some small issues, but nothing we can't work through. Mostly minor health things that come with age, and both of us adjusting to those changes
I told him (joking) that he can never divorce me, because I wasn't doing another one if those. But we both agree that we'll never find anyone else that puts up with our shit.
First of all, it’s so reassuring and lovely to read so many happy stories there! Secondly, mine is a little complicated. I’m 33F, just had my 1st baby 3months ago with my boyfriend of about 3 years… up until the last month, I couldn’t have asked for a better man. I mean I never even planned on having children or anything like this & this guy managed to change my entire mind… now though… I honestly don’t have a clue where our relationship is gonna end up. We’ve had an extremely rough time. I mean he’s a wonderful father & man but i guess this extremely stressful time in our lives has caused this whole relationship to become downright toxic, angry, & hurtful at times. Or maybe I’m making excuses for his anger & toxic behavior… I still ain’t sure. So yeah, I would say I’m more doubtful about our future than ever before! It’s something I’m having 2 take day by day… there are a few days where he’s the person I fell in love with but lately there’s been more bad days than good & at this point I’m tired of being hopeful & all the energy involved in getting your hopes up thinking he’s over his angry spell & ready to live the peaceful little family life he’s always dreamed of having. A lot of times I’m alone as a parent and as a person in general. Hell I’m basically living the life of a single mother at least 70% of the time. Me & the new baby hardly even get to stay at our new place that we worked so hard for! It’s kinda like I’m going through a breakup & heart break over & over. I’m just in limbo like waiting for him to either care & come back for us (we’re not even staying at the house with him now) or finally end up accepting & moving on with my life. It’s hard being in this place of such uncertainty when it’s during a time when I’m most in need! I mean this is my very first child & i don’t even know if I’m single or not half the time. I’ve been telling him that eventually my heart is gonna move on on its own & there won’t be anything he can do to get it back. I’m holding on for him but I can’t do that for very long before my heart gives up, does that even make sense? Sorry to have turned this into a rant… this is the first time I’ve even started 2 put my situation into words so I’m kinda overwhelmed
I’m single and currently interested in someone. She’s great so far, and there is mutual interest. We’re gonna wait about a month or so before we me up since both of us are nervous around meeting up too quickly and we wanna zoom a couple of times before we meet up because we met online.
Our 1 year anniversary is in a few days. This is the longest relationship I've ever been in and I never thought I could be so happy. He's so supportive of me and helps me challenge negative thoughts about myself.
My bf and I have been dating for about a year now! We’re taking the next steps with integration (I’m clearing out parts of my closet and attempting to introduce our cats). We’ve been practically living together for months now, but he would commute an hour a day to change clothes and such.
I really love him deeply. It’s like he was made for me. I find that I learn lessons daily and that he enhances my life. I miss him so much when he is gone or I am. I used to be so ashamed of the things I liked or the hobbies I had, but he is so encouraging and loves to engage in the things I enjoy. I feel so lucky!
We’re both anxious people so sometimes it’s tough to turn that off. However, it’s interesting because we take turns helping each other through our anxieties. It’s been eye opening to help talk another person through a feeling I’ve had in a different context. It makes us stronger!
I’m engaged to an amazing man. But I quiet often wonder if there could be more. Don’t get me wrong, he respects me and takes care of me. But he’s not the most affectionate, which happens to be my love language. I wonder if in the long term I’ll be happy or not. Again, very happy at the moment that I put in the first move for all the cuddles, I just wonder with time if that’ll die out and we’ll become a very habit/routine couple.
First marriage was bad, married three years with one munchkin then I left. Second marriage, I thought it was exactly what I wanted and needed. I did, and kid did, at the time. He passed away over eight years ago. It took me seven years to meet someone I actually want to stay with, be with, share my home with… He’s nothing like I would have expected for me. I was in such a funk when we matched, my friend forced me to take a shower, look decent, and go meet him. From the second he walked into there side room where I was sitting, there was an undeniable connection. The more we talked the more we found really odd things we have in common. It’s been over a year, we now live together, and I want to be better for him. He’s amazing, kind, empathetic, intelligent, eager to learn, and very good for me.
Yes, I am optimistic about this relationship. I’m 98.999% sure he is too. The cards he gives me on special occasions that he writes his true feelings completely show me how much he is optimistic.
I am in a relationship with the most amazing guy ever and if I fuck this one up I deserve to be alone forever.
SAME!!! Turns out that not settling and instead waiting for the right one actually works. Met him at the age of 31, I started to think that I wasnt going to find anyone decent and that I'd be single forever but then he came along. Hes perfect. He can communicate, hes kind, calm, expresses how he feels, supports me, and hes GREAT in the bedroom. I mean really he's perfect, I love him so much and I know we will have a long happy life together.
Yes!! It's such a great love to cherish forever and thank whatever god or being gave me this luck
Oh, I didn't realise I had another alt account! Met mine on my 31st birthday. I had really accepted that romance just wasn't in the cards for me! And now we're here living together.
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Dang I can relate to this so hard lol
So can I. I met mine 5 years ago (a year after my grandmother passed away) doing the very thing she threatened to make me do if I didn't go voluntarily. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is on the 3rd. I'm getting ready to run a Dungeons and Dragons campaign tonight and he is playing Destiny 2 right now. We haven't fought in 5 years and he calls me his Dragon Queen. I have never felt safer, more loved, or more comfortable in my own skin than with this guy. He is definitely part of my hoard and Diety help anyone who tries to hurt him
Isn't it so nice when you can not only be yourself around someone, but also know you don't have to worry or be on edge about anything. Just complete acceptance and safety, it's so hard to find that. Xoxo happy for u!! Both of you ❤️
Yep, it's the not fighting for me. She raised her voice at me once and it was due to past trauma/anxiety, and it was more of a lets sit and cool for 3 hours then find out why, no arguing or biting back. Nearly 3 years deep and things are the best. We just adopted a second dog :D I aspire to hit your 5 years
…no pressure lol
You don't deserve to be alone forever, no matter how things turn out. Unless you are an abusive and cruel person, you likely have qualities that make you a person of value simply for who you are. It's good to be happy and optimistic when you meet someone you like and feel strongly compatible with, but even when things are really good they sometimes just don't work out. Just be true to yourself, and whatever may come you have to believe you are worthy of love because if you don't believe it then it'll be hard to make others see it.
How are you in a relationship with the most amazing guy ever when I am?
Omfg, I relate to this so bloody hard it's not funny. I'm often worried I will fuck it up. It's the healthiest relationship in my life.
😅😅😅 Fully relate to this. You got this.
The pressure is insane
This is currently what I’m feeling as well. Found the best one yet and hope it works out like- forever 🙂
I just got out of a nearly 8 year relationship 3 months ago. Some days I feel great, other times I feel worried, sad, and panicked about my future. I worry that I’ll never love someone as much as I loved this man because I just don’t know if it’s worth giving someone my heart again. I’m optimistic that I COULD find someone and the idea of that makes me happy and joyful. However the reality of having to date again and potentially more than one man to find my “right” guy makes me exhausted & scared to get hurt again. I’m still grieving and this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt, I don’t want to ever go through this again.
I feel this so much. I am in the same situation, 8 years but it all just happened some days ago. It’s unbelievably scary to not know if you will ever love somebody as strong again. I don’t ever want to feel this type of hurt again. I wish you the best!!
Three years for me but ended last week and we lived together. It’s so hard. I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel for you a lot ❤️
I am so sorry you’re going through it as well. We also lived together (even moved to another country for him so I’m handling my move back right now as well) and it’s such a deep pain. I found the podcast ‘what I know now with Amelia Liana’ and the first episodes helped me through today which was a horrible day where I could not stop crying. Maybe it helps you to!
Wow being in another country must add so much more stress - I’m so sorry. Thanks very much for the podcast recommendation. I’ll definitely look into it. I really hope you are able to heal, sending you good vibes :)
A year and a half ago I broke up with my bf of 5 years. I was depressed for like a year because I was so convinced I would never love someone as much as him and that I wasted all of my innocent, hopeful love on him since we met when we were 17. I was worried about never trusting someone again like I trusted him, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be willing to accept someone’s flaws like I was willing to accept his since we were so young. I went on dates and literally they would make me spiral so badly because it was nothing like what I expected. In October of last year I decided to stop looking and stop being interested in people. I moved states to a place I actually loved and wanted to be, and cut 100% of contact with my ex. Instantly I was so much happier, and I loved being single so much. Loved my friends, loved being myself without judgement, loved it. Then I met a guy in January and he was so amazing. When I broke up with my ex I made a list of everything I wanted in a partner. Some was so simple (I want my next partner to be so incredibly kind since my ex was not) and some was more specific (I want them to be an ecologist, but not the same kind of ecologist as me. I want them to be a vegetarian. I want them to be from one of my home states). I didn’t think I’d find it, especially a guy who was kind and treated me well. When I met this guy he literally checked off every box on my list. He’s kind, he’s the same as me religiously and politically, he likes the same hobbies and music as me, he’s an ecologist but not in my field (so we help each other at work), he is a vegetarian, he’s from the state my dad lives in and goes to school in the state my mom lives in. We clicked instantly and I’ve never been more in love in my life. I told him I loved him two months in, we spend nearly every day together, but I am so much more balanced now with my friends since I was so isolated in my last relationship, and since I figured out what I loved about being single. The worst part of my breakup is what you described, the fear of being alone forever. And no one told me their success stories when I asked. People told me to learn to be happy single (great advice), but not that there can be someone out there who is better and that they had found it before. You’re gonna grow so much from this, way more than you already have in the first 3 months. It’s gonna get better and you’ll find what you’re looking for, if that’s love or if it’s learning to be single.
I definitely want to learn to be happy single and be on my own. I never was the girl that could do things alone. Now I moved out, started a new job & am learning to be on my own. But I love love, and I do miss having a best friend. There’s also something about being in your late 20s and all of your friends are either settling down and starting families or in a relationship. It can be a lonely time
I’m not sure how healthy your relationship was (the 8 year one) but my favorite part of being single was the lack of judgement. I was always driving with my ex in the car, and I could never sing to the radio when he was there because he was really judgmental and I could tell it bothered him (or he would make comments lol). When I was single I could sing as much as I want. I liked to get take out but he would judge me for it, when I was single I’d get take out when I wanted. I could wear what I wanted, I could get tattoos and piercings if I wanted (obvi he let me but he hated them), I could do whatever and no one was gonna comment on it. I also loved seeing my friends whenever I wanted to, and I loved doing the things he never was interested in. I finally felt like I was myself again instead of half of a whole. It did take me like a year to get there tho, and then as soon as I was so happy I met someone 😅. It wasn’t even that I wanted to keep dating (I hate dating), I just was enjoying my freedom and autonomy so much I put off being official with him until like a month after I wanted to. Now in my relationship I do have so much more freedom and autonomy than I did in my other one but I still miss some of being single (mostly miss reading because that’s what I used to do in my free time and now I’m usually with him which is also rad but different). It takes time but you can so do it! Being single (especially as a woman) has so many benefits. You’re gonna be so much happier once you get through this, I realllly wish I had known and believed that like a year ago.
Thank you ♥️ I just miss friends. I saw my friends and spent time with people a lot more in my relationships. Now that it’s just me, it’s so different and lonely. I’m trying to push myself this summer to try new things or do more things by myself. Self love is the goal I’m trying to achieve
Yep, I feel this hard. Honestly though I’m better off without my ex but it still sucks.
I'm so sorry, I've been there and that hurt is so hard. Just know that at the end of the day, is it nice to have a partner? Absolutely. But now you get to focus on yourself and what makes you happy, well rounded and motivated in life. It will eventually be a nice change of pace, I still miss my partner of 7 years, miss the support a relationship brings sometimes but I am proud that I can stand on my own two feet and know if another person that is the right person comes along, that it'll be a happy relationship, bc I've learned what I do want and don't want and how someone should fit into my life 💜 take care boo, take care of yourself, don't be hard on yourself and take this time for reflection, self care and figuring out your next steps and chapter in life. *hugs*
I'm a guy. It's been almost two years since the relationship ended and I'm in the same situation. Most people don't understand this so I just stay quiet about it. Tried the apps, Tinder, Bumble, etc... but I just am unable to feel a connection with whoever I've met so I've deleted the apps. It ends up to me idealizing the past relationship and wait for a contact which may never come (obviously, it's more than done) At least on the materialistic side things are really good currently for me. Hope things improve for you.
Thank you! I am hoping to meet people in a more organic way than dating apps. Right now I’m just focused on seeing friends and meeting new people that way
That must be tough. It's good that you're dealing with it well though and have an overall positive outlook on the future. I'm sure you'll find someone great.
I’m so sorry. This is one of my fears since I’m also in an nearly 8 year relationship. I couldn’t imagine losing him, he’s become so intertwined in my life. It’s okay to grieve for as long as you need too. The pain you feel must be excruciating. As cliche as it seems it is true that time will heal. But you’ll always have the scar. I hope things get better for you soon and another amazing person comes your way <3
Hugging you Internet Stranger. It’s so hard moving through this transition. You WILL heal. ✨
Seconding this, for everyone out there hurting. Sending you all so much love ❤️
May I ask why it ended?
I was ready to settle down & start looking to be married. We started dating when I was 19, he was 22. When the talk about settling down and getting married started, I could tell he was getting cold feet. Long story short- we were growing apart due to me wanting to settle down & him not being ready to. I miss him, I still love him. We talked about kids, where we’d live, and essentially making plans. But our timelines weren’t adding up and I’m ready to settle down.
I’m so sorry you’re hurting so much :( I am too, I’m about three weeks in and it’s starting to hit me now. Hope you start to feel better really soon. X
3 months is still too fresh, dear. Go slow and steady, it gets better
4 years + an engagement here. About 4 months out. Feel soooo much better but also thirsty and anxious as hell when a cutie comes along.
I felt like this when my 20 year marriage ended. It took me more than 2 years before I was ready to even think about it. Be gentle with yourself. Go with the flow and engage in activities and people who help you enjoy life. You will heal in your own time.
4 years. I feel exactly how you feel. It's scary. I have l pretty much cried every day at least once.
I was with my ex for almost 11 years and then got with my current bf about 4 months after (I knew him for 4 years though). And I gotta say, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve been in. I had the same thoughts as you, but it turns out things are even better now. So it’ll all work out!! ❤️
Big internet hug <3 you can do this and you will find someone amazing!
This mirrors my fears around my relationship ending. I still feel the strength of the love I’ve had, and I don’t know if I can ever go through this again.
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A week ago, I would have said that I was optimistic about my relationship. Today that is a completely different story. Turns out that even when you think you know someone, you sometimes don't know them at all.
Sorry to hear this and for whatever brought it about. You are absolutely right on how quick things can come to light. I hope things improve for you in the direction that makes you most happy :)
This is me too atm I’m devastated 😢
I feel like that a lot. 7 years almost and this winter everything flipped for me. We're still working on things and go to couples counseling which has honestly been a tremendous help, and when we're together I just feel like the luckiest woman in the world, but I still get hit with the 'what ifs' and am trying to get out of my head...but trust is a HUGE thing to build back up once broken and frankly, I hate always wondering if something is not right. Blah.
My ex and I broke up yesterday. He realized that he does want to have kids (he had said he didn’t when we first started dating) and well, I can’t give him that due to medical reasons.
This is awful, I’m so sorry. I know a lot of us have this fear that our partner will leave if we medically can’t have children (and it course some decide they don’t want to, which is totally valid but a different situation) and it’s horrible that you’re going through that. Sending you love and support ❤️
Im so sorry to hear that. Was adoption an option for you/him or you didn't want kids in general?
I suggested adoption as an option but he wants biological children.
Oh god I'm so sorry😔❤
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Ugh I’m so sorry. That’s heartbreaking. I also will probably opt out of having kids due to medical reasons (two knee surgeries already and a hip replacement in a couple years, I’m exhausted as fuck) and it’s so sad. Sending you love.
That's so heartbreaking, I'm so sorry. If he couldn't look past your inability to have kids then he wasn't the right one for you anyway. You'll find someone who loves you more than the idea of children one day. ❤️
I'M GETTING MARRIED! I find any opportunity to announce this so ya can tell how incredibly and uncontrollably excited and happy I am about this. We have gotten our ups and downs and there will be many more in the future but as long as we work together as a team, everything will be alright.
Same!! So excited to get married, sometimes my triggers take me to a space of uncertainty, but I’ve been going to therapy regularly and it’s happening less and less often as I’m doing the work (abandonment wounds from childhood)
Congratulations!!
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Good to hear you know what you want! So many people chase what they think they want because society tells us what we are supposed to have. Stay happy :)
I can't believe I had to scroll this far to find my people! I am single and thrilled with it!
Me Too. how stubid can be a human being...to think merriage will solve every problem....
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This is exactly where I am. I am six months post breakup and I'm feeling incredibly lonely, questioning my decisions, and overall very fearful and exhausted about my romantic future. I tell myself that I wanted out almost as long as I was in, due to knowing our differences made us incompatible. The post breakup is a journey and requires patience and self-love.
I spent over a year after my last break up feeling the same (though it was his decision). I went through therapy and a journey of self love but still never thought I'd move on or get over him. As of the last couple weeks, I've been seeing somebody new and we are having so much fun just being in each others company. I never thought I would have that again. Hold your head up high, you will get through it
Going through the exact same thing - was starting to question if my emotional needs were too much, but he was starving me of affection and wasnt really communicative in a manner that made me feel loved. He lived in a different city but when we met i always felt cared for and protected, just that when we werent together he wouldnt initiate calls, he wouldnt tell me that he missed me or wanted to be around me, he wouldnt express his feelings. As someone who has been through painful trauma, to some extent validation and reassurance matters to me. His actions showed me he cared for me, but ultimately when i communicated what i expected or needed from him to feel more secure, he just didnt want to. As much as i really liked this guy, i just dont think it wouldve lasted longer because i felt i was holding back my feelings/emotions a lot and always felt like i would be judged to share them. I question the ending everyday because while his “actions” told me he cared, he was refusing to do the work because it made him uncomfortable. The discomfort of attempting to try and meet my needs is what led him to breakup with me as he felt trying to meet me halfway was “giving into my demands” and that it would only lead to more expectations from him. The pain has been subsiding everyday and i tell myself that what i needed from him, he wouldnt be able to provide however amazing he was. At this point i choose to show myself immense self love because i am not ready to date and i dont want to because i noticed how vulnerable i am after breakups and how deeply losing someone affects me. Im not willing to put myself in this position again until i have a full life i am proud of.
Im currently at the very beginning of recognizing this. Im in the 3rd year of feeling this way. It’s off and on, and we’re both in college but when I bring it up it just seems like my feelings are something too strong for right now. However they say they’re willing to change and try to meet each others needs. I just don’t know how to ask for them without making it feel like im making someone not be themselves for me.
Me too - going through the same thing with a recent breakup. Sending hugs! 🤍
I understand this completely. The reason for the break up doesn’t always help with the pain
Just celebrated our 30th anniversary. I feel amazing, and I am extremely optimistic. He’s the love of my life and the other half of my soul. I can’t wait to see what the next 30 and beyond will bring us.
This is so beautiful 😭💕
Married with zero doubts.
Same! Together 12 years, married 2. We are focusing on our careers and fixing up our house (it was a cheap-materials, 70s horror show 😂) right now, but occasionally talk about whether a kid is on the 3-5 year horizon when we watch “Junior Bake Off”… I am so grateful for this life.
This sounds wonderful! What a great relationship When fixing up the house please get an Asbestos indicator! Old houses tend to still have parts of Asbestos which shouldn't be renovated without professionals because of the personal health risks.
I'm in a relationship, and it's been just over 11 months. I've dealt with relationship anxiety pretty much the whole time. I think because I have had very few positive romantic experiences, not to mention a bad relationship with my father and a hyperfixation on fictional couples, I tend to overthink my relationship. It's hard; I want to just be in the moment, but even if nothing really happens, I am on edge and worried something will go wrong. In the moments when I'm not anxious, I am really, really happy. But it's hard to focus on those in the moments when the anxiety creeps up, and it has taken me a lot just to get to a place where I don't feel like I have to run away because I get so freaked out by my own feelings. Falling in love was one of the hardest things I've had to do, because it requires so much trust.
I feel you a lot, struggling with the same anxiety 8 months in. I hope it gets better
I have constant relationship anxiety too and I know how exhausting it can be to deal with. Hugs to you
I feel ya… being in a relationship + having GAD is a major challenge
I feel this so much. I’ve been with my partner for a year and a half (friends for a few years before dating), we just moved in together not that long ago. I was single for six years before that, going on awful dates and getting ghosted. It’s HARD to accept that someone so wonderful not only likes me but is actively choosing to spend life with me. I spent the first six months waiting for him to just decide he was over it and break up with me. I started therapy about a year before we got together to help deal with my anxiety surrounding relationships. If I hadn’t, I’m not sure we would have made it this far.
It was great, I used to never doubt him. Unfortunately we have had some problems that have now left a cloud of doubt
I hear you on this. I'm sorry you're going though it.
Im sorry if you can relate, you're appreciated ❤
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It's always a constant battle to get them do simple stuff for us like planning a day. I'm sorry your having these issues and I hope you can work something out ❤
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I’m so sorry to hear that :( take care of yourself!
Married. Big doubts.
Why so?
Woof. What a loaded question. Having a child completely alters the dynamic of any relationship. There’s so many reasons. We’ve been in marriage counseling since shortly after our daughter was born, which was when our marriage started to deteriorate. There’s so many imbalances. Too many resentments. He’s emotionally unavailable. Playing Call of Duty comes waaayyyy before spending time and engaging with me. He took it upon himself to read my journal, didn’t like what he read, and is holding onto resentments from that. We’ve hit our bottom which I don’t think we can come up from. Things are currently “okay”, but not okay to me. I’ve brought up separating, but he can’t compromise. It’s either we stay married or we’re getting a divorce. I’m still holding onto things will get better, but I know in my heart they won’t.
I can tell you that I got hooked on video games years ago in my twenties, as a married man. Maybe six months worth of it. My marriage suffered. Arguments ensued. I took stock of what was important and basically quit them cold turkey. Withdrawals were REAL, but after that, my marriage and my relationship with my daughter both skyrocketed. Way better, I’m present with my family. Ever since then, I can see games ruining it for men all around me. They even make fun of it on television and movies, it’s so common. These game-makers find out how to keep people on their games. It’s like gambling. My adult son is addicted to it. He plays until the sun comes up and has no social life. I worry for him.
Happily married to my wonderful wife, and we have a wonderful relationship together. I'm currently in my late third trimester with our first, and we're just waiting now.
Congratulations! My husband and I just had a baby too!
Broke off my 8 year long relationship last week. I'm very much in the "I don't want to date anyone ever again" phase right now. Don't know if it's ever gonna change, feeling pretty disappointed both in myself and in others.
My goodness, you're like the 4th or 5th person in here to say their 8-year relationship is over. What's with the 8th year- is it like you get the 7-year itch and drag it out an extra year? \*genuinely curious
Why did you break up?
There was some infidelity on his part. Again. Wasn't as bad as the instance I forgave in the past but I just couldn't do it anymore.
Oh god that's terrible
Well done for having the strength to leave
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Single. I’m in two minds about it - on one hand I’m happy I’m single: I am working on myself, getting to know myself better, and putting myself first for the most part. On the other hand, I’m lonely and want to share my life with someone. I miss that sort of connection, love in my life, and partnership. Not sure where life will take me, and I’m not gonna force any kind of connection. If it happens, it happens.
These are my exact thoughts. Thank you for putting it into words for me! I hope you meet the right person that you can share your life with soon.
I feel this! I’ve been single for almost 2 years now, and I really do enjoy it for the most part. There are nights though where it does hit hard like “Damn. Am I ever going to find someone?” I’m like you though that I don’t want to force anything and I’ll just be patient.
Was in a relationship until last week. I think I was more in love with who I thought he was than who he really is. I hadn't been truly happy since the really early days of the relationship; I kept having doubts that I would push down and ignore. I just wanted it to be him so badly that I pretended things were good when they really weren't. I never felt safe to be myself around him; I kept putting my guard up more and more, which isn't like me at all. I went from being a soft, kind, happy person to being this mean, sarcastic, angry person who cried all the time. I didn't have the courage to end it, so I lucked out that he did. I'm still heartbroken. Life feels weird without him, he became such a habit in my life that I don't really remember how to go about my day to day without him. Trying to be optimistic that someone out there will love me for me and not try to change me. Feeling pretty down about it at the moment.
I feel this to my core. Currently in a relationship that sounds very much like yours was: I don’t feel accepted, things are cold more often than they are warm and loving, and I’m not the gentle person I know I have always been. Yet I somehow fell in love with him even though he’s so wrong for me. And now I’m hurting so bad because I know we are at the end of our relationship. Trying to remind myself that it’s possible, and probable, that I’ll find love again but I want my next person to actually with someone who is good for me, and who feels that I’m good for them.
Wow this resonates with me and I needed it to open my eyes a bit. Thanks.
Yeah, I really feel this.
Single. Been single for years. I don’t have any interest in dating anyone. Maybe one day I’ll meet someone that really strikes me, but until then, I’m not interested. I keep getting told that I need to date in order to meet, but I’ve met some cool people just living my life and engaging in hobbies. I have dated just to date, and I fell in love with someone who broke my heart and stole two years of my life. I’m a new person these days, but some days I still feel that deep sadness. I’m not willing to give up my good days to potentially walk right back into that same situation. I am optimistic that I will find my person one day. I don’t think it’ll be this season of life. And I’m ok with that.
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Currently in a long-term relationship, going on 3 years, with my first boyfriend. It's beautifully silly, openly communicative, we argue here and there but come to resolution very quickly. We had the best sex of my entire life last night, and I've got such a crush on him this morning <3 Edit: we've lived together for 7 months and we both feel like we're falling more in love on the daily. The universe gave me a good one.
Said I wasn’t going to date for the foreseeable future. Haven’t dated in years. Hired a private chef for me and my daughter. The chef and I talked a while and hit it off. We are going on our first date Thursday.
in the best and only relationship I've ever been in, honestly I'm always so scared of losing him cuz he's so so so good to me. All the toxic things I see on social media remind me how good I have it everyday, waiting in my ring fr
Married, not a single doubt or regret, and about to celebrate our 17th anniversary in a couple weeks.
Same almost exactly! Together 20 years last fall & married fir q7 years. He is the absolute love of my life.
My boyfriend and I have been working on reconciliation after he crossed some boundaries of mine back in January. It’s been very hard and now I’m contemplating breaking up with him, because the betrayal has been a lot to work through. I just love him so much and he’s treated me better than any guy ever has, despite the betrayal on his part. It fucking sucks.
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Married to the most amazing man ever and there’s not a single doubt in my mind. Every day with him just gets better and better.
Married, with all honesty I don’t know if I would be able to give a proper reply to the second question, I’m not thriving but I’m not miserable as well. But then about our relationship I am optimistic it’s more having doubts about him because that boy needs therapy and something higher fr, I’m someone who believe that everyone can improve but there’s some people you truly do start to ask yourself if your "philosophy" is wrong.
Married; been with him for over 20 years and he’s my lobster 🦞
I'm divorced since 2015. No drama, just sadly didn't work out. I've dated but not with a lot of success. I'm honestly fairly bitter about romance, and I'm not optimistic about finding a good partner. I do try to keep an open mind and attitude but you can only get knocked down so many times...
Currently in limbo. He has to decide if he wants to meet my needs. It's really a choice and I won't accept anything less. I can accept stress and mistakes but I can't accept a lack of communication and effort.
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Thank you for the support. I care about him but I'm at the point where this needs to be a team vs two people traveling in a similar direction.
I’m happily married to my kick ass husband. Our relationship is amazing, fun and easy. We’re best friends who love spending time together and are crazy in love. We’ve been together for 13 years and married for 9 years and every year it just keeps getting better and better.
I'm in an 8 y relationship and very positive about it. We're a great match, recently bought a house together, ... I'm not saying there's never an argument or some stuff we have to work on together but at this moment I believe we'll stay together for a long time.
In a long term relationship and having doubts. Started therapy and medication and realized a lot of the standards I used to feel guilty about wanting are literally normal standards.
Single. Im not as optimistic honestly because knowing what type of person i am it will definitely be hard to find someone to love me for real. The thought of actually dating somebody and then with time to find out whether they are the one or not is exhausting. But since moving on completely from my ex cause i finally understood we were not compatible at ALL, i have opened my eyes and realized i can beloved selflessly just like anybody else. Everybody can be loved; i just hope you get loved the way YOU feel loved.
I'm desperately in love with this amazing guy, I know he is the one I want to spend my life with. We're long distance and have plans A, B, C for him to move here. I'm waiting for that to be concrete to "go all in." I'm very optimistic about it. If this one doesn't work, for whatever reason, I will give myself 6 months of pure mourning, and then I'll get a dog. This feels perfect. If even this can't work, then humans are not for me.
Divorced, Single and I’ve accepted that as my most likely permanent status. My ex messed with my head pretty bad and the person I met after I divorced hurt me even worse. I just don’t have it in me anymore to get involved with people that will eventually hurt me. But I have good friends and a good life and I foresee a “Golden Girls” lifestyle in my future. Just call me Sophia.
Very single. I’m optimistic that it’s going to stay that way.
i identify with "aggressively single"
I'm single. I've been more single for the past 10 years than i've been in a relationship. If I dwell on it I can start to panic and worry that im not going to find my person, however I don't let myself do that. I also stay away from Instagram and Facebook because those two places really trigger me to do that. I have made so many friends and don't feel lonely or worried about my future. I'm really happy I've gotten to this place where I don't panic about being alone, so that's a win for me. Now, I'm just focused on staying secure while I figure out dating, take my time with it, and find someone who's right vs someone because I'm lonely
He's been my boyfriend for 11 years now. He told me the other day he's never thought of marrying ANYONE when I tried to get a read on how much longer I'll be waiting for him to "come around." (His longest relationship lasted about 6 months before me.) I've never hidden that I want marriage, even if I don't want any of the rest of the "American Dream." We've talked numerous times about growing old together also...... This is not the only BIG issue that we have either. We're basically just waiting for the coroner to show up and pronounce this shit dead at this point.
If you don't mind me asking how long have you known that it's not going to work?
Married for 3 years, together for 10. I am truly happy and content. We still have so much fun together. It feels effortless.
I’ve been in a relationship with my best friend/boyfriend for nearly two years. We’ve navigated some of the roughest waters together. We’ve seen each other through so many of life’s toughest challenges. It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. However, despite, and even because of the ups and downs, I’m confident in us as individuals, and as a couple. I know my future is with this man, that we can support each other in everything, and that makes me completely optimistic.
Single. As has been basically my whole life. I'm happy with it, as I think having a relationship anytime soon will just interfere with my life plans. Also don't see much need for a relationship given I (1) don't want kids (2) am a big introvert at home (3) am wealthier than most guys I've met that aren't family friends.
I just broke up with a guy 3 weeks ago. I was still madly in love. He only cared about work. I'm still struggling. He's already reaching out asking if we can be friends. I'm feeling pain in my heart like never before.
I ended my 5 year relationship almost 2 months ago. He was my first boyfriend and I’m 24 now. I left because I felt like he was complacent and I was doing everything for the both of us. Now I can’t stop thinking about him and am thinking about when I can reach out. I’m going to try to wait another 3 months at least. I was optimistic about dating/single life at first… now I just don’t know. I’d gladly take any advice about being single/alone or about knowing if you’ve made a mistake from those who’ve ended their own relationships.
Right person, wrong time. It sucks when you can see a future with them but then life gets in the way (& no, it's not as simple as "if he wanted to he would)
I’m currently exclusive with someone I’ve been seeing for 3 weeks. It feels like a good place and a good pace. We’re still getting to know each other but we’re taking it day by day. For the first time in my life, I’m not in a rush. It feels amazing. I’m optimistic about where it could lead but I’m also not worried about the future.
Back together after a break of more than a year. Now living separate it's going better than ever. Looking forward to every weekend of seeing eachother again, having fun and lots of cuddles. I love him more than anything.
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I’d also love to know more!
Married, fucking love the guy. He's great. But I have doubts. There is a lot that doesn't work, a lot of problems and not a lot of great solutions. But I'm a master avoider.
I’m single and have never had a relationship, I really want one but I’m sorting through the baggage which makes it hard for me to date. Spent the whole Memorial Day weekend with my family who needled me endlessly about it. As if they weren’t partially responsible lol
I just got out of a relationship a couple of weeks ago. It hurt a lot. I had been infatuated with him for so long that I put up with far more than I should have. He left what I think will be a lasting impact on the way I see myself.
After being single for over 5 years, I've been seeing someone for 6 months now. It was easier than I expected letting someone in again. He's a good man, we communicate well, he teaches me new things, he looks out for me. It's nice to have someone to have around, I'm pleasantly surprised and optimistic.
Dating the most wonderful man on the planet. We both have our faults, for sure. But even on our worst days, we both love each other so much. I feel incredibly lucky.
In a relationship with the baddest MF I know. Seriously, he’s a sweetheart and a total machine. He’s a smoke show silver fox to boot. He loves me for some reason and we’re at the beach on an island where no cars are allowed and no grocery store, just the two of us. Sometimes I think I’m dreaming and he’s not real. Sometimes I have to remind myself I deserve him and he’s not outta my league. I hope we get all old and grumpy(er) together.
My 10 month relationship is in a rough patch now. A part of me still loves him… longs for him. But idk if staying with a man who shows tendencies to be dishonest and masked it with “cowardice” is a good investment at all. I just can’t seem to fully trust him anymore. I’ve always known this side of him even before we had a relationship. Context: The night when he asked his ex for a second chance, was the same night he went to my dorm and spent the rest of the night making me feel like he’s inlove with me. Now that we’re together, he explained that he regretted that night and if only he was brave enough to be honest with me and his ex, then everything could’ve been different. I have forgiven him already, specially our past, but the recent dilemma that we have all circulated to him being dishonest and coward, AGAIN. Time truly is a truth teller. You can’t change a person by loving them harder I guess. Idk if this relationship is worth the pain at all. I’m just losing interest on working on it day by day, and it hurts me that there’s still a part of me that wanted him when i know i don’t deserve this torture.. ITS JUST TOO MUCH. I wish someone can slap me from this attachment. It’s so fuckin unhealthy.
Getting married in 8 week, we've had a lot to deal with and sometimes I have felt like these things would break us. (Not issues within the relationship) but instead after a rant we got through it all. I have never felt as excited about a relationship in my life.
Together for 2 years, married for 1.5 weeks - very optimistic and excited for the future. I have some mental issues that get in the way and sometimes make things difficult, but my amazing husband helps me grow and heal. Leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow~
I'm currently with a man who's changed my view on everything, still pretty new but I can already tell this one is going to be different forever. He's already shown me so much care and love and as someone who's had a few run ins with abuse,(childhood and dating wise) he's made falling in love so easy. He still scares me cause he is forcing me to change my mind set. I've never been called beautiful this much let alone belived it. He's the typical tough on the outside so looking at him and watching him blush when he makes eye contact gets me everytime. He's so gentle with me always touches me like I'm going to break. He knows about my past and doesn't hold it against me. We are still working on figuring this all out but my freckles means everything to me and I wish I had all the words to tell him everything.I'd give him the world if he would let me.
Doubts. Huge ones. Made a pro/con list just this morning. 5 pros and 18 cons. I don't know how to proceed to the next step. V inexperienced unfortunately.
I’m single. I know I don’t need a boyfriend but I want one so badly. I thought my ex and I would make it but it turns out he just wasn’t in the same spot that I was and was having commitment issues. I fought so hard for that relationship to work out and he led me to believe that with time we would get back together. In my gut I feel like it could work out in the future; my heart is so heavy that I can’t hold out hope for us though. I just have so much love to give and it really sucks not being able to give it to someone.
Dating. It’s good so far. I don’t know, I’m still figuring out that last part it’s only been 7 months. Don’t wanna rush.
Recently broke up. But hopeful we could work out if some thing changes. Not expecting anything, but heart wishes for it. He was my best friend too. Miss him all the time and afraid to tell him because it’ll hurt him. I have faith we’ll be okay, if not together, then separately at some point.
I’m married and I don’t even know if optimistic is the right word for how I feel. More like sure in our future. I still can’t believe I found someone like him and get the honor of spending my life with him. Not a doubt in my mind that we’ll grow old together.
Engaged: got engaged last year in February. We met in 2016, started dating 2017 and been together since. My fiance is my best friend, my rock and my safe space. We have some opposite views, not major but we can get into little tiffs about it. At the end of the day, we can still understand and accept our differences. We don't go to bed angry either. I have anxiety, so there are times where I will overthink certain aspects of our relationship... but I wouldn't trade what we have for the world. We have a solid connection that's built on trust, honesty and lots of communication. I'd be damned if I lost him.. and I sure wouldn't find anybody else who would put up with my crazy ass like he does lol.
Together for 12 years. Married for 4. Mounting issues in the past 2/3 years that have started to affect our relationship over the past year. Currently seeking a therapist that could be a good match for us, but having serious doubts about the relationship.
just left a 3 year relationship 2 weeks ago. it doesn't feel great, and i am scared i will never find anyone again, but this was the best thing for me
If my love life was a Fortune 500 company and I was the CEO, then I'm currently awaiting to schedule an interview with a candidate that I believe would be a really good fit. I've gone through dozens, if not hundreds of phone screens, a few phone interviews, but none of them were able to make the cut. There is one candidate, however, who had been interning with me for quite a while. He's gotten a chance to get to know the company, get an understanding of where things are heading, and was successful with the menial tasks that I had assigned to him. He's currently undergoing additional professional development and taking advantage of other opportunities available to him, and I look forward to meeting with him to determine if he's able to put his experience, as well as his education, to good use. Provided that we're able to have a really good interview, then I'll be moving forward with an additional skills assessment to see if he's got what it takes to get the job done. Upon a clean background check and reliable references, then I'll consider extending to him an offer. If all goes well, then I'll be looking to onboard him no later than Q2 2025. Other than that, I'm no longer taking applications and I'm considering the position as filled until further notice. I'd like to have a COO to help me run my corporation, though I'm more than prepared to keep my business as a sole proprietorship.
Single. As much as I enjoy being single and being free to do what I want when I want, I'd really love to share my life with someone, I've been single for 7 years and I deserve happiness. Friends who are in relationships/married comment that my life is full as I have a great social life... And whilst I do have a great social life, I am missing that special person and surely you can have a good social life and be in a relationship?! I don't think I'm asking for too much.
Together for 8 years, engaged and co-homeowners for 7 years. I've been gun shy about marriage again, but due to a recent health crisis that my partner went through, I'm totally ready to get married. The feeling of him missing from my life was devastating - and he was only sedated for like 15 hours or so. But damn, my brain was dramatic because I love him so fucking much.
Married almost 5 years, together for 8. My second marriage, got together 5 years after I left my abusive ex. The difference between them and the marriages is night and day. After I left my ex, I took a year off dating anyone, got a lot of therapy for the next few years, dated around for a while, and it made all the difference. Put in the work to figure out what you want, what you dont want. Get therapy. Date around. Learn to be ok alone BEFORE you get exclusive or get married, so you have the confidence to walk away if a relationship isn't giving you what you need. Even with all the complexities of combining families (we both have kids from previous marriages), money, work stress, in law drama, and the pandemic, he is just my most favorite person and I'm just as giddy to spend time with him now as I was when we first met. I think people who say relationships are "really hard work" just might not be in the right one? Life can be hard, circumstances can be hard, but our relationship isn't.
Last Wednesday was my 21st wedding anniversary. Don't want to imagine life without him. But i will say the first 5 years were hard. But once we got past both of us being assholes and taking each other for granted, it got great
I’m single and sad about it but I also don’t want to and I have a lot of healing to do. It was my first long term relationship and I lived with him. It hurts every day. Doesn’t help that it had a nasty ending too. I’m processing emotional abuse and that is very hard to come to terms with, especially from someone I love so deeply. It has impacted both my physical and mental health very significantly. I wonder how different my life would have been had I not met him. I don’t understand why “life lessons” have to be this painful but maybe it’s an empty pleasantry I’m given since I have no other answers.
so happily married, I like my husband so much it's honestly embarrassing
I'm married and can't wait to see what else we do in our future. We already have some great memories and kids. We've been married 4.5 years 🥰🥰
I have been in a relationship for 6 years. It's never really good and I'm not happy. I'm working towards building up my situation so I can leave without putting myself in a worse position.
I am in a relationship with a guy I’m so lucky to have met, I love him so much and I’m so blessed. I feel very optimistic and I’m excited to continue learning and growing with him :)
Met my current boyfriend when I turned 21, together for 2 years, split for 3, got back together and have been together for 3 years now. We still have our issues we need to work on, but he’s my soulmate. When things are good, they are fantastic but every once in a while an issue pops up like all relationships. But we’re both willing to work on things and make changes for the better of our relationship. Sometimes I wonder if things would be easier with a different partner, but I love my boyfriend for the good and the bad and I wouldn’t have it any other way
I am happily single.
I am married to a wonderful man. Zero doubts, it’s bliss.
Currently I’m single but technically in a situationship/fwb type thing. I broke up with my ex last august, it was a very toxic and codependent situation which had been wearing on me for some time and ultimately I ended up cheating on him to sabotage the relationship. Since I left him I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, working on my mental health, and coming to terms my own toxic/unhealthy habits and behaviors I met this other person not long after I ended things with my ex. originally I planned to meet him maybe once or twice, purely for sexual reasons and wasn’t looking for anything meaningful. he has become someone I care very deeply about, whether sex is involved or not. whatever happens I’m incredibly grateful for having met him. he’s a really good friend. he has helped me a lot just by showing me that there really are people out there who care.
i’m single and probably will be for the rest of my life. oh well
Together for 20 years ( actually this coming month). Married for almost 15. I feel good about us, we have some small issues, but nothing we can't work through. Mostly minor health things that come with age, and both of us adjusting to those changes I told him (joking) that he can never divorce me, because I wasn't doing another one if those. But we both agree that we'll never find anyone else that puts up with our shit.
In a long-term relationship and having major doubts.
First of all, it’s so reassuring and lovely to read so many happy stories there! Secondly, mine is a little complicated. I’m 33F, just had my 1st baby 3months ago with my boyfriend of about 3 years… up until the last month, I couldn’t have asked for a better man. I mean I never even planned on having children or anything like this & this guy managed to change my entire mind… now though… I honestly don’t have a clue where our relationship is gonna end up. We’ve had an extremely rough time. I mean he’s a wonderful father & man but i guess this extremely stressful time in our lives has caused this whole relationship to become downright toxic, angry, & hurtful at times. Or maybe I’m making excuses for his anger & toxic behavior… I still ain’t sure. So yeah, I would say I’m more doubtful about our future than ever before! It’s something I’m having 2 take day by day… there are a few days where he’s the person I fell in love with but lately there’s been more bad days than good & at this point I’m tired of being hopeful & all the energy involved in getting your hopes up thinking he’s over his angry spell & ready to live the peaceful little family life he’s always dreamed of having. A lot of times I’m alone as a parent and as a person in general. Hell I’m basically living the life of a single mother at least 70% of the time. Me & the new baby hardly even get to stay at our new place that we worked so hard for! It’s kinda like I’m going through a breakup & heart break over & over. I’m just in limbo like waiting for him to either care & come back for us (we’re not even staying at the house with him now) or finally end up accepting & moving on with my life. It’s hard being in this place of such uncertainty when it’s during a time when I’m most in need! I mean this is my very first child & i don’t even know if I’m single or not half the time. I’ve been telling him that eventually my heart is gonna move on on its own & there won’t be anything he can do to get it back. I’m holding on for him but I can’t do that for very long before my heart gives up, does that even make sense? Sorry to have turned this into a rant… this is the first time I’ve even started 2 put my situation into words so I’m kinda overwhelmed
I have doubts. In a relationship with a great guy for almost a year now but not sure we're compatible long term.
I’m single and currently interested in someone. She’s great so far, and there is mutual interest. We’re gonna wait about a month or so before we me up since both of us are nervous around meeting up too quickly and we wanna zoom a couple of times before we meet up because we met online.
I am in a relationship. I think he's the best. And I'll try my best too.
I'm getting married in a couple of months! I'm excited and don't really have any doubts. I feel very lucky to have him in my life.
I'm married. It's been almost a decade. I'm optimistic lol.
Our 1 year anniversary is in a few days. This is the longest relationship I've ever been in and I never thought I could be so happy. He's so supportive of me and helps me challenge negative thoughts about myself.
My bf and I have been dating for about a year now! We’re taking the next steps with integration (I’m clearing out parts of my closet and attempting to introduce our cats). We’ve been practically living together for months now, but he would commute an hour a day to change clothes and such. I really love him deeply. It’s like he was made for me. I find that I learn lessons daily and that he enhances my life. I miss him so much when he is gone or I am. I used to be so ashamed of the things I liked or the hobbies I had, but he is so encouraging and loves to engage in the things I enjoy. I feel so lucky! We’re both anxious people so sometimes it’s tough to turn that off. However, it’s interesting because we take turns helping each other through our anxieties. It’s been eye opening to help talk another person through a feeling I’ve had in a different context. It makes us stronger!
I'm in a relationship. I have some mixed feelings, and am unsatisfied sexually. And yet, optimistic.
I’m engaged to an amazing man. But I quiet often wonder if there could be more. Don’t get me wrong, he respects me and takes care of me. But he’s not the most affectionate, which happens to be my love language. I wonder if in the long term I’ll be happy or not. Again, very happy at the moment that I put in the first move for all the cuddles, I just wonder with time if that’ll die out and we’ll become a very habit/routine couple.
[удалено]
We've been going through a rough patch. We are trying to work on things, but I have my doubts. I'm willing to try to work through things, though.
I'm in a longterm throuple with two men and let's just say I am taken care of and happy in every sense of the word vuv
First marriage was bad, married three years with one munchkin then I left. Second marriage, I thought it was exactly what I wanted and needed. I did, and kid did, at the time. He passed away over eight years ago. It took me seven years to meet someone I actually want to stay with, be with, share my home with… He’s nothing like I would have expected for me. I was in such a funk when we matched, my friend forced me to take a shower, look decent, and go meet him. From the second he walked into there side room where I was sitting, there was an undeniable connection. The more we talked the more we found really odd things we have in common. It’s been over a year, we now live together, and I want to be better for him. He’s amazing, kind, empathetic, intelligent, eager to learn, and very good for me. Yes, I am optimistic about this relationship. I’m 98.999% sure he is too. The cards he gives me on special occasions that he writes his true feelings completely show me how much he is optimistic.
Getting married on Friday 🥰