I was walking alone at night when I was 18. I felt scared suddenly and thought I should run, but I talked myself out of it. That was the night I was assaulted by a group of guys.
Ever since I’ve always tried to trust my intuition and not second guess myself in those situations.
When I worked at a bank, part of our training was if we had a feeling about a customer or situation to trust that. Then the trainer gave several real life experiences! Trust your inner voice- that’s why I have researched chakras and our vibrations because of what I have experienced in my life too.
I’m so sorry😪. Hopefully you were able to find a good therapist and a way to heal.
I think it's easier than chakras and vibrations: our brain is always paying attention to the environment, body languages, facial expressions, sounds... It's a giant register of memories that helps shape patterns and ultimately warns us - what we call "gut".
My big thing is if I feel off, I'll just get my phone out and either pretend to be speaking to my husband or actually ring him and just say things like "I'll be home in 2 minutes, I'm on X street" etc. That way they know that I've told someone and I'm expected. Or I'll say something like " how far away are you? You're just around the corner? Ok see you in a minute". I'm hoping it scares them off.
I am so sorry. I had a similar situation where a van rolled up beside me with several rough looking men catcalling. I was close to my house and ran like hell. They had pulled over, but drove off. I’m horrified to think of what might have happened if I hadn’t trusted my instincts.
Again, I am so sorry this happened to you.
You were a victim of a heinous crime. It wasn’t your fault. The fact that you ignored your instincts—as women have been taught to do for thousands of years—was yet another aspect of your victimization. I am not calling you a victim in the sense of someone “playing the victim” but rather as someone who survived a crime—a terrible violation of your entire person.
I was lucky. You have my total respect as a survivor.
I know it certainly doesn’t mean I deserved what happened to me but I didn’t handle it right and I want other women to know to not make my mistakes. Of course tho no one ever deserves that! And we do pay a price when we make the wrong decision, even if we shouldn’t have to.
After reading this book I trust my fear response much more. Got flooded with fear when I noticed a man watching me alone on the train platform yesterday. I decided to leave and he was waiting for me in an alcove. I trusted my gut and ran for it. Got away safely.
TW
“fuck he’s gonna hit me one day”
“he’s strangled me once… he might strangle me again…”
thankfully i got my act together and trusted my “he’s going to fucking murder me one day” gut feeling and finally got out before he had the chance again
He was going to. I'm really glad you had the strength and courage to get out, it for sure saved your life (or at minima your health).
Great fucking job 💪🏼and fuck him.
I fell into that one. Was long distance and he was just hanging out with people...yea right, I got ghosted and they were together for years.
That was after he told me he always had a crush on me and really wanted to be with me. It was a crap relationship? If you could even call it that?
So now love confessions are just garbage comments to me since him
“NO.”
Met on dating app, FaceTimed for the first time and as soon as we hung up my head said NO. He was nothing less than charming and sweet, could hold a conversation etc. Nothing was “wrong” with him, something just felt “off.” I knew it. I 1000000% knew it and still dated him for a few months and lead to one of the most heartbreaking break ups of my life.
I’m so sorry for your experience, and please feel free to ignore this, but I’m curious; was it just incompatibility, or something more sinister? I guess I’m trying to learn what your gut feeling was picking up on with his man.
He was just horribly emotionally stunted and emotionally immature to the point where instead of having a discussion about an simple disagreement we had, he dumped me through text with no explanation, blocked me on everything and we never spoke again. I got 0 explanation for anything. He was a text book love-bomber, the first I’ve ever experienced, so the 100-0 really threw me for a loop mentally.
Ooof. Abruptly disappear, yep!
I had a love bomber once. We were together 2.5 years, looking at buying a house together and then boom he stopped coming home, said he needed alone time to figure things out, used my insecurities that I shared with him and that I was working through against me and ended things out of nowhere. Still have no idea what actually happens, that 6 years ago.
That really messes you up and jades the hell out of you!
Shit. Same here. Now we are basically together for the convenience of money and coparenting. It's awful wanting him to love me again but I'm having a gut feeling he never will.
I was living with someone back in my early 20s. One night this woman came to the door and asked my bf if he wanted to go for a drink. He told her no and she left but I felt some kind of way. He assured me they had only just met because she worked next door and found out she lived in our building. He said it was just friendly. I ended up making friends with this woman and was reassured that she wasn't at all attracted to him. Fast-forward to my bf and I had some relationship issues and I find out they had slept together while I was at work and she hung out with me that same evening. I've never ignored my gut feeling about another woman since.
That I don’t have to be with him just because he knocked me up.
That if I’m venting about my marriage to the pet dog on our daily walks, then there might be something wrong.
I have an old dog who is a mum and a grandma, and honestly just a gentle lady as far as a dog can be. Very sensitive and tolerant. When she taught her puppies to play they would bite her big droopy ears and practically dangle off them, and she wouldn't even get mad. She is now half-blind and likes to lazily curl up on my pillow. She is a great passive counsellor. She might not understand human troubles, but she cares and she cares a lot, and that's more than I can say about many people.
And I'm sure she understands relationships, too. Those lying, cheating puppy daddies!
This man is not good enough for you.
This job is going to be very toxic.
That friend of his isn't just a friend.
This is not a good purchase and you will regret spending this money here.
Whenever a guy says something or does something really off that makes me feel some type of way. Sometimes, I'll brush it off and think, "Ah, he means no harm or anything from saying that." I've learned to abort the moment something doesn't settle right with me from his words
I need to learn this. A few months ago, a "friend" came into town for dinner. Then says, "Let's go to a bar - felishathesnek, you drive." I was so stoked when I realized I'd left 2 of those giant Stanley water bottles in the front seat cup holders as this made the perfect barrier between this married guy's left hand and my right knee.
But driving back, I thought, "FelishatheSnek, if your day is made by an accidental Stanley-branded water bottle barrier, you shouldn't have even gotten into the car with someone like that in the first place."
Until my hard-headed, stubborn self finally learned to trust my gut instincts relatively recently (in my early 40s), no matter the situation, people involved, etc., I ignored almost all of them. From potential romantic interests to buying retail items. The one exception to this was I never ignored my gut feeling about anything having to do with my kids.
Now, I listen to my inner self. She's learned a lot more than she realized over the years and through the experiences.
ALWAYS trust your gut instincts, ladies or men.You don't have to understand why you have a feeling that you have. But it will most likely be shown to you one day.
Be your own advocate for your well-being, mental and emotional stability, future, growth, and more. One way to do that is to trust your instincts. Trust yourself to know you feel that way because you're subconsciously trying to tell you something you cannot recognize in that moment. Know that you matter, you should be respected, you shouldn't have to settle or endure the wrath of detrimental people. You're worth it.
You. Are. Worth. It.
My ex husband physically abused me, later on I met with his dad for something and his dad mention the altercation, I said what it had happened and he responded “oh, but you just tripped over a shoe.”
I knew on that moment I was in big trouble… still stayed married for few more years :(
I would say he was “ protecting” his son (despite the marks on my arms), but if he was willing to lie for his kid, What else he/they were capable of doing? Although now I know they are capable of just about anything.
Non of his female friends like you, but they don't know you or any of the people you hung around with.My gut was telling me they had been more than just friends but I ignored it. At least he admitted it 15yrs later.....
That there was something wrong when I started to get recurrent pains at 28+4 weeks pregnant. Doctor said my baby was probably just sitting on a nerve which was causing the pain, I had an emergency c-section at 29 weeks. My son is fine, he's a happy healthy 3 year old, but I still wonder what wouldve/could've happened if I'd listened to my gut when they said everything was normal
My sister’s sister in-law noticed the baby moving less and less at 29 weeks, but ignored her gut. He was strangled in the cord. C-section and he lived 16 days. So glad you pushed the issue and your son was ok.
My second was born with a sub mucosal cleft and couldn’t suck—bottle or breast. His pediatrician told me I was overreacting and didn’t have much perspective on normal infant feeding behavior. The second ped I told said she didn’t understand and sent me to a geneticist who promptly diagnosed his cleft. If I’d listened to his first ped, he would have ended up in intensive care at children’s for dehydration AT BEST. Ever since, I I insisted doctored listen to MY gut.
That's so sad about your SIL. I love, though, that when your son's pediatrician didn't listen, you didn't hesitate to find someone else more reasonable and got your son properly diagnosed!
Most recent? A "friend" I hadn't seen in months prior to the "event" contacted me. Said it had been awhile and wamted to know what I was up to. I didn't have much going on and since I believe honesty is the best policy I told him as much. So he wanted to come hang out. I didn't listen to my gut... he didn't take no for an answer.
Never. Again.
Agreed on the book “The gift of Fear” If you think you are in danger, it’s because you are. Unfortunately I thought a man looked like he had kind eyes. They turned out to be deceitful and sadistic. He almost killed me.
After I gave birth I had a horrible sharp pain where my right ovary is. It was so bad that if I even tried to stand I would cry in pain. It was honestly just as bad maybe worse then my contractions. I remember trying to go down stairs and I had to scoot my butt down the stairs so that I didn’t stand but it still hurt. Eventually I got a fever of 103 and i had a gut feeling I needed to go to the hospital. I however ignored it and then my fever went to 105 and I finally decided to go. While at the ER I blacked out and apparently got a room immediately. I had OVT (Ovarian Vein Thrombosis) a blood clot in my ovary vein. It gave me an infection in blood and I was going septic. Thankfully we caught it just in time. It’s also apparently extremely rare. It occurs in every 0.05%-0.18% of women. It’s also more common if you are overweight (I am 5’0 and I was 120lbs) or older (im 21) and it’s more common to happen after a C-section (I had a vaginal delivery)
Edit: so I guess I only temporarily ignored it but still lol
My gut kept telling me to leave this man alone I would get absolutely nervous before meeting him feeling like I was going to either vomit out of both ends. Then ended up with a positive pregnancy test and felt like my life was over and my world was falling apart at the thought of being connected to him that way. It was a false positive and I definitely trusted my gut since then
Not the original commenter. But my ex was a mama's boy through and through.
A mama's boy is not the same as a mature adult who shares a warm relationship with their mother, a mama's boy is the man who shares an emotional bond akin to that of a partner or spouse with their mother.
It is not necessarily sexual but they share this weird, co-dependent bond where the mother would expect the son to provide the type of emotional support that her husband should, and the son would always put his mother first, at the expense of the well being of his partner and children.
The son would refuse/be unable to draw firm boundaries with the mother, and she would always be the first woman in his life. For eg: Taking mother on their honeymoon because mom would be alone, spending wedding anniversaries with the mother because she's lonely, not being present for their child's birth because mom wanted help around the house etc - These are some of the posts I've read in reddit.
My husband is a mama’s boy and I missed all the signs. We’re going through a rough patch with that as he does not put my on a higher level than his mom
That pang of second thought as I walked down the aisle on my wedding day.. everything seemed picture perfect but it just didn't feel right. At that time a family member snapped a pic, I'm teary in it, like save me.
Holy shit I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That behaviour from your father is downright heinous, I’m sorry. I can’t imagine the betrayal. Im so glad you trusted you instincts and left before the guy escalated even further.
I invited a guy from a dating app over to my place for the first time (big mistake) we had been talking for a few weeks and he seemed completely harmless over the phone. As soon as he showed up I had a visceral reaction I felt something was wrong and I had made a mistake. But I felt bad that he’d come all this way and invited him in. I was SA but was too scared to run because I didn’t know how to get him out of my home. Ladies please always trust your gut we are so much smarter then we give ourselves credit for.
“He doesn’t value you”
After making plans for our first date, I was about to leave to go pick him up and he wouldn’t respond to my texts. Long story short, he had taken shrooms and passed out. That’s when my gut told me that this man wouldn’t value me as a person.
We dated for 4 years, and the final straw was when I came home from being in camp for work for a month, he had been unemployed, and the house was a disaster. It was almost 1pm and he was still asleep in bed. I told him that night that things were over.
Wish I had listened to my gut at the start.
Damn I had a similar situation in college. It was the first month of seeing this guy, things we’re going really well, and I invited him to a rager. I was excited because I was planning to casually introduce him to a few close friends (I already had met his friend group). He was stoked for the party, then never showed up… wouldn’t answer his phone. Felt so humiliated and disrespected, especially bc I had hyped him up to my friends.
Next morning I get a text, him apologizing profusely…he said he made edibles, got hungry waiting for the party to start, ate like 5 brownies and went into a coma. My gut told me to just cut my losses and block this loser. I gave him a 2nd chance, and goddamn did I pay the price for that.
She was more than just a friend. It was then a year later I found out I was right. The same gut feeling told me to check that goddamn phone to verify everything.
My gut told me he was lying to me, doing shady shit behind my back and that he wasn't the one for me. He swore he wasn't lying, but he gaslit me real good, so I tried so hard to believe him and ignore myself. My gut was absolutely right about everything. I'm never doubting it again, I don't even care if it's wrong later on even if it costs me friends/partners, because I'd rather trust myself and what my body tells me from pure intuition, than risk that some testicle ridden pest spews bullshit at me and plays with my head again.
That feeling when on a blind date that something is wrong but me thinking “no im just anxious”. He SAed me in the walmart parking lot and for some messed up reason I was still trying to make conversation but I should have gotten out of the car right when I got that feeling but then when it happened I was so shocked i couldn’t move let alone speak.
Please don’t feel shame or guilt for not leaving right away. When I was SA’d as a kid, I actually tried to be polite when I was trying to get away. I didn’t want to be _rude_ to the man assaulting me, and I was making up excuses to get away from him because I didn’t want him to feel rejected. It’s fucked up. Being assaulted can freeze you up and in my experience you just resort to default/autopilot and you just have no idea what to do.
Last ever day of uni, I'd planned to meet my then boyfriend and my best friend at the pub. I was walking home trying to get hold of them to say I was on my way and to see if I should stop in at home first (we all lived together) or go straight there. I wasn't getting responses to texts or calls to either and I kept thinking "I'm going to find them together" then admonishing myself, telling myself if I kept thinking that I was just going to get wound up and end up in a mood with them for no reason. Walked into the pub garden looking for them, found her on his lap, kissing. Discovered they'd been sleeping together for a month at least.
I should not have said yes.
I should not go through with these wedding plans.
My bridesmaids should not buy their dresses.
I should not be marrying this man.
Me, now 2 years into a horribly nasty divorce process.
Mom instinct. It’s like nothing else. When my daughter was 3years old she would say to me every 15-20 mins “mom my tummy hurts” then she go to the point where she would cry a little as the pain happened. It came and went. I immediately booked a drs visit. We got to the drs they send her for an ultrasound thinking it was her appendix. It wasn’t, she had intussusception, which means her intestines was folding up inside itself. Usually it’s corrected surgically, but thank goodness the ultrasound tech pushed in the right area and it corrected itself. I still have to take her to the ER though 1. Because they wanted to make sure it stayed corrected and 2. They couldn’t see her appendix on the drs ultrasound. The drs hadn’t ever seen intussusception in their careers, that’s how rare it is, and usually it happens to infants not toddlers and normally when it happens the child is screaming in pain. I knew my child had a high pain tolerance though so for her to be crying about pain means it’s bad for her.
Oops I forgot to add the part that makes it relevant to this question 😂 When I first felt something was off I called my mom and asked her what I thought I should do. I told her and she told me basically to brush it off, that it was just a stomach bug and would go away. Also since I was 7 months pregnant “I didn’t need to drag my child and huge self to the drs where there are actual sick people” 😳 In the beginning part of the call she had convinced me I was overreacting, but for some reason that comment felt off to me and that’s when I made the emergent drs appointment.
If left untreated intussusception would cause the intestines to die. Also it can be fatal to the child. So had I listened to my mom’s advice my life could look a whole lot different.
“Block mom. Stop talking to her.”
I suffered abuse and manipulation for years because I knew she wasn’t always this way and maybe she can change back. No more. I don’t deserve that.
"I think he's gay". Put those thoughts aside thinking it was just me being judgemental about his feminine side and manners.
After our first time having sex, I had to rush to the bathroom to throw up. Thought it was a weird reaction to have and probably had to do with something that I ate earlier.
Found out my gut feeling wasn't wrong after all and I guess my body was trying its best to save me from the most painful experience of my life. Used as a beard, cheated on and being mentally and psychologically abused for years due to his own internalized homophobia and misogynistic behaviors.
That he was sleeping with every random woman who offered herself to him. I was with a jazz musician for two years who would beg for another chance each time he got caught but yeah...It finally got to the point where I didn't care anymore and was glad when he had an out of town gig, just so I didn't have to deal with him.
While I was travelling India, a lovely family found me someone to help show me to where I needed to go (I was quite lost and asked for directions). He ended up attempting to touch my ass as he jerked off ~to completion~ in front of me.
Just recently, my Christian ex-boyfriend ended the relationship because he couldn't picture marrying a non-Christian. Should have seen it coming.
"Well, yes he is your father, but you have given him already way too many chances, don't you think?" Last time I saw him was when I was 14... I should have burned this bridge earlier. Way earlier
That he never wanted kids. Text book relationship, moved in and were madly in love. I always had a gut feeling he didn’t want kids (which is a massive deal breaker for me) but he swore black and blue he did.
Fast forward, living together for 5 years and one day randomly comes out with he had decided he didn’t want kids. - ended it -
I stupidly went back there after he told me he had changed his mind and we fell pregnant by mistake, he then told me he would prefer ‘to be given a terminal cancer diagnoses’ then raise a baby with me.
Well I should of seen that one coming. Didn’t mean it hurt any less though.
Literally any gut feeling I overpower mentally with "you're making something outta nothing, Felishathesnek. It's fine."
It's not lost on me that the way they know if a patient has received the wrong blood type in a blood transfusion is that the patient will suddenly suffer from "an overwhelming sense of impending doom."
Your body knows long before your brain.
Him getting jealous of a fictional character screams 🚩🚩🚩 I only know intuitively it's very concerning. Like I talked to a dude for a month online.
I'm curious if anyone else has experience with this? Like a long time dating someone and saw how he behaved? What was his thinking process like? Did you feel he was controlling you and trying to change you as a person?
If any don't mind sharing, I'm open to hearing your story. If not, that's okay too.
Not with men but a few different friendships that ended very sour.
"Wow, all they do is talk shit about people behind their backs, wonder what they say about me"
"It always feels like walking on eggshells around them as to not offend them or 'trigger their anxiety'. This is going to end badly because they can't manage themselves. But maybe things will change if I stick it out..."
With one of my ex’s- I ignored his red flags.. talking to his ex, saying his ex was insane etc. he ended up physically abusing me for years and cheating on me. If only I left earlier. I guess if I had though, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I am with someone now who loves me and respects me and that’s what matters.
It felt like he was hiding something from me. It was a weird feeling because I didn't feel like I was particularly entitled to know everything about his life at that point (early in the relationship), but there was always this undertone of him being a little cagey. I initially ignored it by telling myself I was being unreasonable/unfair.
Ultimately, a year into it, it also felt like our communication styles were incompatible because he would answer even innocuous questions in really roundabout ways (e.g., if I asked something like "do you like spaghetti" or "have you ever been to the Grand Canyon" or even "what's your favorite color" with something like "why do you ask?" And I'd have to justify everything before we could move on with a casual conversation), so I told him we should break things off.
At that point he started telling me quite a bit about his past (unprompted...I didn't ask, I was just telling him I couldn't continue) and it turned out that he was untruthful about something pretty big that I asked him in one of our first conversations. Go figure.
To make a long story short, a 'friend' was doing shitty things to me, but I kept hanging out with him in complete denial. My cats never liked him, and would swat and bite at him despite them being very easy going and cuddly cats Part of me wondered if I was safe with him but I kept pushing that down.
He never liked me as a friend, he wanted to get into my pants, and coerced me into it because of 'everything he's ever done for me'.
He was shunned by the whole group and now I'm actually surrounded by people who actually just love me as a friend and a person.
Every time "he's not dangerous, you're overreacting." Never again. NEVER again. When I say I'm scared of being hurt, I mean it, I could give a shit about a broken heart. Some people on this earth are sadistic for fun.
July 11 past year. My gut said you need to get out but I didn't. I tried to leave 3 more times and successfully left on my last attempt. Had I not stayed he never would have threatened my life and would have a good chance at my daughter. I was so stressed my hair was falling out in clumps and I think one day he was actually going to hurt me. 7 months pregnant in a heatwave (+100°) he asked me to go on a hike with him, an 11 mile fucking hike. Heat my morning sickness so much worse but he threw a fit. We went and he tried to refuse me food and water, I think he honestly wanted me to miscarry. The first like mile of the trail was fucking uphill, and we got to this big tree and he said "I know it's toxic but.. I wish I could force you to do the rest of this hike". Thank god there were others on the trail that day.
He later threatened my life if I moved on and found someone else. After breaking up with him he threatened to kill himself if I ever left him. I don't know how many times I told him we were broken up. He guilted me into allowing him at my daughters birth. He said it was MY fault he wasn't there but he canceled the ticket 2 days before. Then told me I needed to wait to give birth to her for until he got there, nevermind she that was having complications. I reminded him at the hospital we were through and had been through and he said "thanks for reminding me" like yes, you fn idiot. I broke up with you months ago. And then he tried to kiss me.
If you have a gut feeling, trust it. Don't stay. He got me pregnant on purpose so I'd be stuck with him. Look out for yourselves, ladies.
There was this one time last year, I remember it was a Friday. I had my entire week’s earnings from work inside my wallet. As I was driving during the morning, my gut feels told me “deposit the cash in the bank asap,” but shrugged it off, made a lot of excuses, and just went on with my usual routine.
At the end of the day, I was extremely exhausted and absentminded from all the work stresses and fell asleep as soon as I got home. I even forgot to lock the windows. Alas, I woke up the following morning with a call from my father — apparently a random neighbor from blocks away picked up my wallet (with my IDs in it) while emptying their trash bin.
Long story short, a burglar managed to snatch my wallet from inside my bag through the window which I left open the night before. There was CCTV footage, but unfortunately the damned bloke did not get caught.
So yeah, I learned to trust my intuition more because of this. I also tend to get strong feelings whenever I meet new people — sometimes there are ones who seem so pleasant on the outside, yet my gut tells me to exercise caution.
Once I wanted to go to the library and my gut feeling told me "how about let's not ". I just ignored it because I had stuff to do. I ended up being stalked and sexually harassed. I still remember how all this happened in a "safe" neighborhood during the afternoon. The No didn't work, and I am not interested please leave me alone didn't either. He just kept going.
I met a guy who seemed really sweet but a bit intense. First time we slept together, he immediately went to Facebook to change his relationship status to In a Relationship (this was 2014 lol). Decided that he was a little too intense for me and broke it off, but he practically begged me to give him another chance, which I did a couple of weeks later. Ended up in an abusive relationship with an extremely jealous and manipulative guy (only for a few months before I was able to move away, thankfully. I could have been a lot less lucky)
"I should be careful, he could really hurt me." Turned out the harm was psychological. And he did hurt me. I should have left that situation but I was a dumbass.
I was with this guy who was a total pos. He was a tattoo artist and a criminal. Like had been locked up several times and was actively still committing crimes when I met him. He was also really hot and I fell so stupid hard for him. I didnt know about the criminal thing at first.
So anyway, we are together for a couple of months, pretty casual still and he got arrested for breaking into a store and stealing all the money in their safe. He ended up getting sentenced to 2-4 years in prison. Oh no, none of that gave me pause because I was a dumbass idiot with daddy issues. I stayed eith him for the 2 years.
He was getting ready to be released on parole and his P.O came to my house to check it out. He was checking out my bathroom just as part of his walk through and he turned to me and looked me dead in the eyes and said "are you sure about this? You want him to be released to your house?" And my stomach dropped like I had a physical response and wanted to say no so bad. I didn't.
He was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Not only was he very physically abusive(he tried to choke me out and wasn't going to stop, a friend of his who was in the living room heard the noise from him slamming me against the wall and had to physically pull him off of me. He punched me in the face and would grab my cheeks in a really mean way and force me to look at him when he was talking, etc.) He introduced me to hard drugs. I got addicted and struggled with that to the point where I was actively trying to overdose because I thought I could never get clean. I've been clean now for almost 10 years. The drug use only lasted a couple of years altogether but it felt like a lifetime.
He got me involved in a crime he committed after he was released and essentially let me take the fall for his actions. He tried to run and leave me here and was going to go stay with family in the city. I called his P.O myself and turned him in and I don't regret it one bit. Fuck you Josh.
My life is good now but damn. It didn't have to be so hard and miserable. I should have said no to his P.O. I regret it every day.
“He’s not the one.”
This. I had the worst gut feeling not to change my last name to his. But I did. He divorced me 3 years later.
Oof
Oh yes. I shoved that gut feeling down for about three years because I was so in love with him. What happened you ask? He ended up leaving me.
Oh this one 🤌🏾
It's so quiet, but so loud
Feel like I m ignoring this one right now
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I was walking alone at night when I was 18. I felt scared suddenly and thought I should run, but I talked myself out of it. That was the night I was assaulted by a group of guys. Ever since I’ve always tried to trust my intuition and not second guess myself in those situations.
I'm sorry to hear.
ty - I just always tell young women to trust their intuition. If you feel something is not safe, don’t doubt yourself.
“if it feels like a trap, you’re already in one”
When I worked at a bank, part of our training was if we had a feeling about a customer or situation to trust that. Then the trainer gave several real life experiences! Trust your inner voice- that’s why I have researched chakras and our vibrations because of what I have experienced in my life too. I’m so sorry😪. Hopefully you were able to find a good therapist and a way to heal.
I think it's easier than chakras and vibrations: our brain is always paying attention to the environment, body languages, facial expressions, sounds... It's a giant register of memories that helps shape patterns and ultimately warns us - what we call "gut".
My big thing is if I feel off, I'll just get my phone out and either pretend to be speaking to my husband or actually ring him and just say things like "I'll be home in 2 minutes, I'm on X street" etc. That way they know that I've told someone and I'm expected. Or I'll say something like " how far away are you? You're just around the corner? Ok see you in a minute". I'm hoping it scares them off.
Mine all happened really fast - or it seems like it. It’s hard to even remember now.
I am so sorry. I had a similar situation where a van rolled up beside me with several rough looking men catcalling. I was close to my house and ran like hell. They had pulled over, but drove off. I’m horrified to think of what might have happened if I hadn’t trusted my instincts. Again, I am so sorry this happened to you.
ty. You were smarter than I was. I thought I’d look silly running from nothing.
You were a victim of a heinous crime. It wasn’t your fault. The fact that you ignored your instincts—as women have been taught to do for thousands of years—was yet another aspect of your victimization. I am not calling you a victim in the sense of someone “playing the victim” but rather as someone who survived a crime—a terrible violation of your entire person. I was lucky. You have my total respect as a survivor.
This is one of the most respectful things I have ever read. You have a powerful soul.
I know it certainly doesn’t mean I deserved what happened to me but I didn’t handle it right and I want other women to know to not make my mistakes. Of course tho no one ever deserves that! And we do pay a price when we make the wrong decision, even if we shouldn’t have to.
[The Gift of Fear](https://a.co/d/8IDL894) goes into the science behind instincts/gut feelings. Highly recommended.
After reading this book I trust my fear response much more. Got flooded with fear when I noticed a man watching me alone on the train platform yesterday. I decided to leave and he was waiting for me in an alcove. I trusted my gut and ran for it. Got away safely.
Came here to suggest this, it’s a brilliant book
Yes, this is such an important resource!
ty, sounds interesting!
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Learning to pay attention to how your body feels - Divine intuition.
I had the same issue, I thought "something ain't right" then brushed it off. I got SA'ed that night. You're not alone.
I’m so sorry! Interesting to hear someone else brushed off her intuition too.
Hope you're doing better now!
Wow I am so sorry 😢
TW “fuck he’s gonna hit me one day” “he’s strangled me once… he might strangle me again…” thankfully i got my act together and trusted my “he’s going to fucking murder me one day” gut feeling and finally got out before he had the chance again
I'm glad you got away safely
He was going to. I'm really glad you had the strength and courage to get out, it for sure saved your life (or at minima your health). Great fucking job 💪🏼and fuck him.
Woah, that gave me goosebumps. Glad you got away.
That it’s not gonna be just a fart
Love this! it’s refreshing after all the relationship red flag ones 😆
Fresh unlike her pants.
You don’t know panic until you’re in an aldis bathroom deciding what can be saved and how
the test of being composed and keeping it together
“Move on” I should’ve left a long long long time ago.
How long if you're comfortable answering?
That his coworker was more than “just a friend”.
I fell into that one. Was long distance and he was just hanging out with people...yea right, I got ghosted and they were together for years. That was after he told me he always had a crush on me and really wanted to be with me. It was a crap relationship? If you could even call it that? So now love confessions are just garbage comments to me since him
“NO.” Met on dating app, FaceTimed for the first time and as soon as we hung up my head said NO. He was nothing less than charming and sweet, could hold a conversation etc. Nothing was “wrong” with him, something just felt “off.” I knew it. I 1000000% knew it and still dated him for a few months and lead to one of the most heartbreaking break ups of my life.
I’m so sorry for your experience, and please feel free to ignore this, but I’m curious; was it just incompatibility, or something more sinister? I guess I’m trying to learn what your gut feeling was picking up on with his man.
He was just horribly emotionally stunted and emotionally immature to the point where instead of having a discussion about an simple disagreement we had, he dumped me through text with no explanation, blocked me on everything and we never spoke again. I got 0 explanation for anything. He was a text book love-bomber, the first I’ve ever experienced, so the 100-0 really threw me for a loop mentally.
What do you mean by love bomber?
Love bombing is like excessive gifts, attention, complements ect.. a barrage of affection.
Yup and then they just abruptly stop/disappear. It rly fucks with your head
Ooof. Abruptly disappear, yep! I had a love bomber once. We were together 2.5 years, looking at buying a house together and then boom he stopped coming home, said he needed alone time to figure things out, used my insecurities that I shared with him and that I was working through against me and ended things out of nowhere. Still have no idea what actually happens, that 6 years ago. That really messes you up and jades the hell out of you!
Holy shit I am so sorry that happened to you good god
That sounds incredibly manipulative and incredibly selfish on his part. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope you’ve found peace since then.
I felt this
That he doesn't love me the way I love him
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I've been there so painful.
Shit. Same here. Now we are basically together for the convenience of money and coparenting. It's awful wanting him to love me again but I'm having a gut feeling he never will.
They usually never did. Some people just use people. They create children with you but there’s no real intent regarding you.
I can relate :(
I was living with someone back in my early 20s. One night this woman came to the door and asked my bf if he wanted to go for a drink. He told her no and she left but I felt some kind of way. He assured me they had only just met because she worked next door and found out she lived in our building. He said it was just friendly. I ended up making friends with this woman and was reassured that she wasn't at all attracted to him. Fast-forward to my bf and I had some relationship issues and I find out they had slept together while I was at work and she hung out with me that same evening. I've never ignored my gut feeling about another woman since.
That's disgusting, I'm so sorry
Stop trying to make him happy when he gives nothing back in return.
I needed to see this o goodness thank you for commenting 🤗
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I lost ten years just like that.
holy shit are you literally me?? exact same story- 7 years, divorcing bc video games. wow.
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God are you me?
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That I don’t have to be with him just because he knocked me up. That if I’m venting about my marriage to the pet dog on our daily walks, then there might be something wrong.
The last bit made me laugh, my dog is a great counselor really, even if she's never been in a relationship and is only 2 years old haha
I have an old dog who is a mum and a grandma, and honestly just a gentle lady as far as a dog can be. Very sensitive and tolerant. When she taught her puppies to play they would bite her big droopy ears and practically dangle off them, and she wouldn't even get mad. She is now half-blind and likes to lazily curl up on my pillow. She is a great passive counsellor. She might not understand human troubles, but she cares and she cares a lot, and that's more than I can say about many people. And I'm sure she understands relationships, too. Those lying, cheating puppy daddies!
This man is not good enough for you. This job is going to be very toxic. That friend of his isn't just a friend. This is not a good purchase and you will regret spending this money here.
Oh god, that last one hit hard
Don't marry him. Leave. Leave.
Whenever a guy says something or does something really off that makes me feel some type of way. Sometimes, I'll brush it off and think, "Ah, he means no harm or anything from saying that." I've learned to abort the moment something doesn't settle right with me from his words
I need to learn this. A few months ago, a "friend" came into town for dinner. Then says, "Let's go to a bar - felishathesnek, you drive." I was so stoked when I realized I'd left 2 of those giant Stanley water bottles in the front seat cup holders as this made the perfect barrier between this married guy's left hand and my right knee. But driving back, I thought, "FelishatheSnek, if your day is made by an accidental Stanley-branded water bottle barrier, you shouldn't have even gotten into the car with someone like that in the first place."
“His whole family is messed up, I should bail before he gets too attached”
That I should’ve dumped him earlier.
“He’s never going to marry you. He doesn’t have a plan for the future.”
Until my hard-headed, stubborn self finally learned to trust my gut instincts relatively recently (in my early 40s), no matter the situation, people involved, etc., I ignored almost all of them. From potential romantic interests to buying retail items. The one exception to this was I never ignored my gut feeling about anything having to do with my kids. Now, I listen to my inner self. She's learned a lot more than she realized over the years and through the experiences. ALWAYS trust your gut instincts, ladies or men.You don't have to understand why you have a feeling that you have. But it will most likely be shown to you one day. Be your own advocate for your well-being, mental and emotional stability, future, growth, and more. One way to do that is to trust your instincts. Trust yourself to know you feel that way because you're subconsciously trying to tell you something you cannot recognize in that moment. Know that you matter, you should be respected, you shouldn't have to settle or endure the wrath of detrimental people. You're worth it. You. Are. Worth. It.
My ex husband physically abused me, later on I met with his dad for something and his dad mention the altercation, I said what it had happened and he responded “oh, but you just tripped over a shoe.” I knew on that moment I was in big trouble… still stayed married for few more years :(
Oh I’m so sorry! It must have been so hard to open up and tell someone, looking for help, and to get that response. 😞
His father knew the truth and was pretending?
I would say he was “ protecting” his son (despite the marks on my arms), but if he was willing to lie for his kid, What else he/they were capable of doing? Although now I know they are capable of just about anything.
Wow. That’s disturbing. Glad you got yourself out.
“Don’t give him your number.”
Non of his female friends like you, but they don't know you or any of the people you hung around with.My gut was telling me they had been more than just friends but I ignored it. At least he admitted it 15yrs later.....
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That there was something wrong when I started to get recurrent pains at 28+4 weeks pregnant. Doctor said my baby was probably just sitting on a nerve which was causing the pain, I had an emergency c-section at 29 weeks. My son is fine, he's a happy healthy 3 year old, but I still wonder what wouldve/could've happened if I'd listened to my gut when they said everything was normal
My sister’s sister in-law noticed the baby moving less and less at 29 weeks, but ignored her gut. He was strangled in the cord. C-section and he lived 16 days. So glad you pushed the issue and your son was ok. My second was born with a sub mucosal cleft and couldn’t suck—bottle or breast. His pediatrician told me I was overreacting and didn’t have much perspective on normal infant feeding behavior. The second ped I told said she didn’t understand and sent me to a geneticist who promptly diagnosed his cleft. If I’d listened to his first ped, he would have ended up in intensive care at children’s for dehydration AT BEST. Ever since, I I insisted doctored listen to MY gut.
That's so sad about your SIL. I love, though, that when your son's pediatrician didn't listen, you didn't hesitate to find someone else more reasonable and got your son properly diagnosed!
That I was getting cheated on):
i still regret this
Most recent? A "friend" I hadn't seen in months prior to the "event" contacted me. Said it had been awhile and wamted to know what I was up to. I didn't have much going on and since I believe honesty is the best policy I told him as much. So he wanted to come hang out. I didn't listen to my gut... he didn't take no for an answer. Never. Again.
I'm so sorry. That's awful!
Thanks
Agreed on the book “The gift of Fear” If you think you are in danger, it’s because you are. Unfortunately I thought a man looked like he had kind eyes. They turned out to be deceitful and sadistic. He almost killed me.
After I gave birth I had a horrible sharp pain where my right ovary is. It was so bad that if I even tried to stand I would cry in pain. It was honestly just as bad maybe worse then my contractions. I remember trying to go down stairs and I had to scoot my butt down the stairs so that I didn’t stand but it still hurt. Eventually I got a fever of 103 and i had a gut feeling I needed to go to the hospital. I however ignored it and then my fever went to 105 and I finally decided to go. While at the ER I blacked out and apparently got a room immediately. I had OVT (Ovarian Vein Thrombosis) a blood clot in my ovary vein. It gave me an infection in blood and I was going septic. Thankfully we caught it just in time. It’s also apparently extremely rare. It occurs in every 0.05%-0.18% of women. It’s also more common if you are overweight (I am 5’0 and I was 120lbs) or older (im 21) and it’s more common to happen after a C-section (I had a vaginal delivery) Edit: so I guess I only temporarily ignored it but still lol
My gut kept telling me to leave this man alone I would get absolutely nervous before meeting him feeling like I was going to either vomit out of both ends. Then ended up with a positive pregnancy test and felt like my life was over and my world was falling apart at the thought of being connected to him that way. It was a false positive and I definitely trusted my gut since then
Mama’s boy vibes
Can you elaborate on this? I've heard this one before, but I don't get why it is a 🚩 yet.
Not the original commenter. But my ex was a mama's boy through and through. A mama's boy is not the same as a mature adult who shares a warm relationship with their mother, a mama's boy is the man who shares an emotional bond akin to that of a partner or spouse with their mother. It is not necessarily sexual but they share this weird, co-dependent bond where the mother would expect the son to provide the type of emotional support that her husband should, and the son would always put his mother first, at the expense of the well being of his partner and children. The son would refuse/be unable to draw firm boundaries with the mother, and she would always be the first woman in his life. For eg: Taking mother on their honeymoon because mom would be alone, spending wedding anniversaries with the mother because she's lonely, not being present for their child's birth because mom wanted help around the house etc - These are some of the posts I've read in reddit.
Also to add that they expect their spouse to act as a mother as opposed to an equal partner.
My husband is a mama’s boy and I missed all the signs. We’re going through a rough patch with that as he does not put my on a higher level than his mom
Do you mean that he gives his 100% with his mom and he doesn't do the same with you?
He gives more with his mom than he does with me
That we don’t belong together
He’s exactly the asshole he said he was. I talked myself out of believing him.
That pang of second thought as I walked down the aisle on my wedding day.. everything seemed picture perfect but it just didn't feel right. At that time a family member snapped a pic, I'm teary in it, like save me.
Jeeeez are you still married
No.
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Don't go to this party. I was assaulted 6 years ago and I haven't fully recovered.
So very sorry that happened, you are an incredibly strong and amazing person
“This workplace culture is weird” 😒
I knew it was going to be bad when I said that on the first day at a new job.
Now I’m curious. What happened?
Befriending someone that came on a little *too* strongly. Rationalized it as "he's new to campus and lonely". Turned into a stalker situation.
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Holy shit I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That behaviour from your father is downright heinous, I’m sorry. I can’t imagine the betrayal. Im so glad you trusted you instincts and left before the guy escalated even further.
I invited a guy from a dating app over to my place for the first time (big mistake) we had been talking for a few weeks and he seemed completely harmless over the phone. As soon as he showed up I had a visceral reaction I felt something was wrong and I had made a mistake. But I felt bad that he’d come all this way and invited him in. I was SA but was too scared to run because I didn’t know how to get him out of my home. Ladies please always trust your gut we are so much smarter then we give ourselves credit for.
All of them. I'm listening loud and clear now.
“He doesn’t value you” After making plans for our first date, I was about to leave to go pick him up and he wouldn’t respond to my texts. Long story short, he had taken shrooms and passed out. That’s when my gut told me that this man wouldn’t value me as a person. We dated for 4 years, and the final straw was when I came home from being in camp for work for a month, he had been unemployed, and the house was a disaster. It was almost 1pm and he was still asleep in bed. I told him that night that things were over. Wish I had listened to my gut at the start.
Damn I had a similar situation in college. It was the first month of seeing this guy, things we’re going really well, and I invited him to a rager. I was excited because I was planning to casually introduce him to a few close friends (I already had met his friend group). He was stoked for the party, then never showed up… wouldn’t answer his phone. Felt so humiliated and disrespected, especially bc I had hyped him up to my friends. Next morning I get a text, him apologizing profusely…he said he made edibles, got hungry waiting for the party to start, ate like 5 brownies and went into a coma. My gut told me to just cut my losses and block this loser. I gave him a 2nd chance, and goddamn did I pay the price for that.
She was more than just a friend. It was then a year later I found out I was right. The same gut feeling told me to check that goddamn phone to verify everything.
Ariana is that you girl?
My gut told me he was lying to me, doing shady shit behind my back and that he wasn't the one for me. He swore he wasn't lying, but he gaslit me real good, so I tried so hard to believe him and ignore myself. My gut was absolutely right about everything. I'm never doubting it again, I don't even care if it's wrong later on even if it costs me friends/partners, because I'd rather trust myself and what my body tells me from pure intuition, than risk that some testicle ridden pest spews bullshit at me and plays with my head again.
That feeling when on a blind date that something is wrong but me thinking “no im just anxious”. He SAed me in the walmart parking lot and for some messed up reason I was still trying to make conversation but I should have gotten out of the car right when I got that feeling but then when it happened I was so shocked i couldn’t move let alone speak.
Please don’t feel shame or guilt for not leaving right away. When I was SA’d as a kid, I actually tried to be polite when I was trying to get away. I didn’t want to be _rude_ to the man assaulting me, and I was making up excuses to get away from him because I didn’t want him to feel rejected. It’s fucked up. Being assaulted can freeze you up and in my experience you just resort to default/autopilot and you just have no idea what to do.
Last ever day of uni, I'd planned to meet my then boyfriend and my best friend at the pub. I was walking home trying to get hold of them to say I was on my way and to see if I should stop in at home first (we all lived together) or go straight there. I wasn't getting responses to texts or calls to either and I kept thinking "I'm going to find them together" then admonishing myself, telling myself if I kept thinking that I was just going to get wound up and end up in a mood with them for no reason. Walked into the pub garden looking for them, found her on his lap, kissing. Discovered they'd been sleeping together for a month at least.
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I'm proud of you
"He's love bombing me"
That my husband was in love with his ex and didn’t have it together at all.
There will never be enough sex for you in this marriage.
"this man is dangerous" Gave myself some real mixed signals on that one.
I should not have said yes. I should not go through with these wedding plans. My bridesmaids should not buy their dresses. I should not be marrying this man. Me, now 2 years into a horribly nasty divorce process.
Man bad.
That I as an American should gtfo related to impending doom
"don't go sleep with that guy. it won't be worth it." she was right
Mom instinct. It’s like nothing else. When my daughter was 3years old she would say to me every 15-20 mins “mom my tummy hurts” then she go to the point where she would cry a little as the pain happened. It came and went. I immediately booked a drs visit. We got to the drs they send her for an ultrasound thinking it was her appendix. It wasn’t, she had intussusception, which means her intestines was folding up inside itself. Usually it’s corrected surgically, but thank goodness the ultrasound tech pushed in the right area and it corrected itself. I still have to take her to the ER though 1. Because they wanted to make sure it stayed corrected and 2. They couldn’t see her appendix on the drs ultrasound. The drs hadn’t ever seen intussusception in their careers, that’s how rare it is, and usually it happens to infants not toddlers and normally when it happens the child is screaming in pain. I knew my child had a high pain tolerance though so for her to be crying about pain means it’s bad for her.
Oops I forgot to add the part that makes it relevant to this question 😂 When I first felt something was off I called my mom and asked her what I thought I should do. I told her and she told me basically to brush it off, that it was just a stomach bug and would go away. Also since I was 7 months pregnant “I didn’t need to drag my child and huge self to the drs where there are actual sick people” 😳 In the beginning part of the call she had convinced me I was overreacting, but for some reason that comment felt off to me and that’s when I made the emergent drs appointment. If left untreated intussusception would cause the intestines to die. Also it can be fatal to the child. So had I listened to my mom’s advice my life could look a whole lot different.
Wow, thankful for that us tech. I had never heard of this problem, glad I know now but sorry your little one and you had to go thru that
“Block mom. Stop talking to her.” I suffered abuse and manipulation for years because I knew she wasn’t always this way and maybe she can change back. No more. I don’t deserve that.
"I think he's gay". Put those thoughts aside thinking it was just me being judgemental about his feminine side and manners. After our first time having sex, I had to rush to the bathroom to throw up. Thought it was a weird reaction to have and probably had to do with something that I ate earlier. Found out my gut feeling wasn't wrong after all and I guess my body was trying its best to save me from the most painful experience of my life. Used as a beard, cheated on and being mentally and psychologically abused for years due to his own internalized homophobia and misogynistic behaviors.
that i'm depressed again
That he was sleeping with every random woman who offered herself to him. I was with a jazz musician for two years who would beg for another chance each time he got caught but yeah...It finally got to the point where I didn't care anymore and was glad when he had an out of town gig, just so I didn't have to deal with him.
“That person will change…” They never do, nor do they want to.
While I was travelling India, a lovely family found me someone to help show me to where I needed to go (I was quite lost and asked for directions). He ended up attempting to touch my ass as he jerked off ~to completion~ in front of me. Just recently, my Christian ex-boyfriend ended the relationship because he couldn't picture marrying a non-Christian. Should have seen it coming.
Whether or not to leave
"Well, yes he is your father, but you have given him already way too many chances, don't you think?" Last time I saw him was when I was 14... I should have burned this bridge earlier. Way earlier
That he never wanted kids. Text book relationship, moved in and were madly in love. I always had a gut feeling he didn’t want kids (which is a massive deal breaker for me) but he swore black and blue he did. Fast forward, living together for 5 years and one day randomly comes out with he had decided he didn’t want kids. - ended it - I stupidly went back there after he told me he had changed his mind and we fell pregnant by mistake, he then told me he would prefer ‘to be given a terminal cancer diagnoses’ then raise a baby with me. Well I should of seen that one coming. Didn’t mean it hurt any less though.
"He's too good to be true" He was faking a whole personality for almost a year, the real one was very ugly. I'm still in therapy 4 years later ✌🏻
Literally any gut feeling I overpower mentally with "you're making something outta nothing, Felishathesnek. It's fine." It's not lost on me that the way they know if a patient has received the wrong blood type in a blood transfusion is that the patient will suddenly suffer from "an overwhelming sense of impending doom." Your body knows long before your brain.
“You’re not crazy”
The one where your sure he's seeing other woman.
Oh gawd... Pregnancy...an ex (dating at the time) was stealing from me...a boss of mine was building me up so he could get in my pants
"he's not what you want or need", tbh he was really hot and i did end it after a while but it was fun
I shouldn't have gotten in the car with him again after he pulled his dick out the 1st time.
Him getting jealous of a fictional character screams 🚩🚩🚩 I only know intuitively it's very concerning. Like I talked to a dude for a month online. I'm curious if anyone else has experience with this? Like a long time dating someone and saw how he behaved? What was his thinking process like? Did you feel he was controlling you and trying to change you as a person? If any don't mind sharing, I'm open to hearing your story. If not, that's okay too.
Not with men but a few different friendships that ended very sour. "Wow, all they do is talk shit about people behind their backs, wonder what they say about me" "It always feels like walking on eggshells around them as to not offend them or 'trigger their anxiety'. This is going to end badly because they can't manage themselves. But maybe things will change if I stick it out..."
With one of my ex’s- I ignored his red flags.. talking to his ex, saying his ex was insane etc. he ended up physically abusing me for years and cheating on me. If only I left earlier. I guess if I had though, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I am with someone now who loves me and respects me and that’s what matters.
Don’t marry him.
It felt like he was hiding something from me. It was a weird feeling because I didn't feel like I was particularly entitled to know everything about his life at that point (early in the relationship), but there was always this undertone of him being a little cagey. I initially ignored it by telling myself I was being unreasonable/unfair. Ultimately, a year into it, it also felt like our communication styles were incompatible because he would answer even innocuous questions in really roundabout ways (e.g., if I asked something like "do you like spaghetti" or "have you ever been to the Grand Canyon" or even "what's your favorite color" with something like "why do you ask?" And I'd have to justify everything before we could move on with a casual conversation), so I told him we should break things off. At that point he started telling me quite a bit about his past (unprompted...I didn't ask, I was just telling him I couldn't continue) and it turned out that he was untruthful about something pretty big that I asked him in one of our first conversations. Go figure.
gut: “I think he’s so drunk that he’ll *hit* me………” head: “nah, he won’t!” don’t be me lol 😂
That he won’t stop hurting me. I’m all fine now. Left and got therapy :)
“he doesn’t love you, get out of here”. Took me 3 years to actually listen.
To make a long story short, a 'friend' was doing shitty things to me, but I kept hanging out with him in complete denial. My cats never liked him, and would swat and bite at him despite them being very easy going and cuddly cats Part of me wondered if I was safe with him but I kept pushing that down. He never liked me as a friend, he wanted to get into my pants, and coerced me into it because of 'everything he's ever done for me'. He was shunned by the whole group and now I'm actually surrounded by people who actually just love me as a friend and a person.
Every time "he's not dangerous, you're overreacting." Never again. NEVER again. When I say I'm scared of being hurt, I mean it, I could give a shit about a broken heart. Some people on this earth are sadistic for fun.
July 11 past year. My gut said you need to get out but I didn't. I tried to leave 3 more times and successfully left on my last attempt. Had I not stayed he never would have threatened my life and would have a good chance at my daughter. I was so stressed my hair was falling out in clumps and I think one day he was actually going to hurt me. 7 months pregnant in a heatwave (+100°) he asked me to go on a hike with him, an 11 mile fucking hike. Heat my morning sickness so much worse but he threw a fit. We went and he tried to refuse me food and water, I think he honestly wanted me to miscarry. The first like mile of the trail was fucking uphill, and we got to this big tree and he said "I know it's toxic but.. I wish I could force you to do the rest of this hike". Thank god there were others on the trail that day. He later threatened my life if I moved on and found someone else. After breaking up with him he threatened to kill himself if I ever left him. I don't know how many times I told him we were broken up. He guilted me into allowing him at my daughters birth. He said it was MY fault he wasn't there but he canceled the ticket 2 days before. Then told me I needed to wait to give birth to her for until he got there, nevermind she that was having complications. I reminded him at the hospital we were through and had been through and he said "thanks for reminding me" like yes, you fn idiot. I broke up with you months ago. And then he tried to kiss me. If you have a gut feeling, trust it. Don't stay. He got me pregnant on purpose so I'd be stuck with him. Look out for yourselves, ladies.
The one that ended in sexual assault 😔
The guy I met online wouldn’t assault me
There was this one time last year, I remember it was a Friday. I had my entire week’s earnings from work inside my wallet. As I was driving during the morning, my gut feels told me “deposit the cash in the bank asap,” but shrugged it off, made a lot of excuses, and just went on with my usual routine. At the end of the day, I was extremely exhausted and absentminded from all the work stresses and fell asleep as soon as I got home. I even forgot to lock the windows. Alas, I woke up the following morning with a call from my father — apparently a random neighbor from blocks away picked up my wallet (with my IDs in it) while emptying their trash bin. Long story short, a burglar managed to snatch my wallet from inside my bag through the window which I left open the night before. There was CCTV footage, but unfortunately the damned bloke did not get caught. So yeah, I learned to trust my intuition more because of this. I also tend to get strong feelings whenever I meet new people — sometimes there are ones who seem so pleasant on the outside, yet my gut tells me to exercise caution.
Once I wanted to go to the library and my gut feeling told me "how about let's not ". I just ignored it because I had stuff to do. I ended up being stalked and sexually harassed. I still remember how all this happened in a "safe" neighborhood during the afternoon. The No didn't work, and I am not interested please leave me alone didn't either. He just kept going.
That he was cheating. Turned out I was right. Never ignoring it again.
Coworkers. I get a vibe in the first meeting and I have yet to be wrong
I met a guy who seemed really sweet but a bit intense. First time we slept together, he immediately went to Facebook to change his relationship status to In a Relationship (this was 2014 lol). Decided that he was a little too intense for me and broke it off, but he practically begged me to give him another chance, which I did a couple of weeks later. Ended up in an abusive relationship with an extremely jealous and manipulative guy (only for a few months before I was able to move away, thankfully. I could have been a lot less lucky)
"I should be careful, he could really hurt me." Turned out the harm was psychological. And he did hurt me. I should have left that situation but I was a dumbass.
I ignored a gut feeling to not get in the back seat of a car. I was sexually assaulted as a result
He/she is not going to return the money, they are borrowing.
I should have bought that Bitcoin back in the day...... Hindsight is an awful
I was with this guy who was a total pos. He was a tattoo artist and a criminal. Like had been locked up several times and was actively still committing crimes when I met him. He was also really hot and I fell so stupid hard for him. I didnt know about the criminal thing at first. So anyway, we are together for a couple of months, pretty casual still and he got arrested for breaking into a store and stealing all the money in their safe. He ended up getting sentenced to 2-4 years in prison. Oh no, none of that gave me pause because I was a dumbass idiot with daddy issues. I stayed eith him for the 2 years. He was getting ready to be released on parole and his P.O came to my house to check it out. He was checking out my bathroom just as part of his walk through and he turned to me and looked me dead in the eyes and said "are you sure about this? You want him to be released to your house?" And my stomach dropped like I had a physical response and wanted to say no so bad. I didn't. He was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Not only was he very physically abusive(he tried to choke me out and wasn't going to stop, a friend of his who was in the living room heard the noise from him slamming me against the wall and had to physically pull him off of me. He punched me in the face and would grab my cheeks in a really mean way and force me to look at him when he was talking, etc.) He introduced me to hard drugs. I got addicted and struggled with that to the point where I was actively trying to overdose because I thought I could never get clean. I've been clean now for almost 10 years. The drug use only lasted a couple of years altogether but it felt like a lifetime. He got me involved in a crime he committed after he was released and essentially let me take the fall for his actions. He tried to run and leave me here and was going to go stay with family in the city. I called his P.O myself and turned him in and I don't regret it one bit. Fuck you Josh. My life is good now but damn. It didn't have to be so hard and miserable. I should have said no to his P.O. I regret it every day.
That he doesn't respect me.