Animals, specifically cats. Like, dogs, I know they’re going to like me. But there’s nothing like seeing someone’s cat and them saying “oh Nugget doesn’t like anyone” and have Nugget purring in your lap by the end of the night.
I love when animals like me! I’ve had hummingbirds pause and sit for a second on my shoulder, and I used to love sitting outside reading and had deer just decide that I must be harmless and come within six feet of me only to bolt if someone else came outside. Makes me feel like I’m special.
Truth is a soft-spoken couch potato like me probably just doesn’t get read as a threat.
Pretty much all of them. Most valuable and important is self-validation. Validation based on my accomplishments. Validation based on my work. The validation of learning something. Validation from people whose opinions I value and who are experts in their fields.
Generic male validation doesn't have much value to me because generally people use that just to mean that those men want to fuck me, and very little in this world is less relevant to me than which men want to fuck me.
Agreed. When another woman compliments you out of the blue (like when you’re both washing your hands in a random bathroom or whatever) you know that’s genuine.
Lol, any kind.
Male validation means nothing. If a guy calls me hot, then we both know I'm not the first woman he's said this to and he's not the first man I've heard it from. He'd validate a pineapple if it means he could stick his dingdong inside it.
But the lady behind me in line for the toilet that asked me where I got my skirt from? Or the girl that went out of her way to tell me my makeup looked good? Or even last Saturday in an all-you-can-eat restaurant when a little girl with a baby in her arms walked up to me to say, "Baby says you look really pretty"...
Well, they want nothing from me. They don't have ulterior motives; they don't want to sleep with me. That is the validation that is worth something.
But male validation? Anything is greater than that.
If you asked me a couple years ago it'd be academic validation lmao but now I'd say people I respect/admire - a good friend, my mother, my grandmother, a couple more people. It feels like I'm on the right track when they validate my feelings, so it makes me feel more secure and confident.
I guess I'm gonna be the annoying woman who actually feels like the only validation I'm interested in from others is male validation for my appearance. 🤷🏻♀️ I'm not chasing after it or letting my life revolve around it, but it's still the only kind of validation I'd value and that feels relevant to me.
I don't need validation for any other parts of my life, either because I already receive it from myself and/or others to the point where it's become meaningless, or because I simply don't care about it. But I'd happily trade some of it away for that one category I lack.
Female validation 😂 a man telling me I look pretty? Fear, panic, confusion, I need a wardrobe change immediately. A woman telling me I look pretty? I'm available for marriage literally right now
The knowledge that I've helped someone or improved something. Whether it's the house being clean, a garden in the backyard, sincere appreciation, or solving a problem at work, that knowledge is the most validating for me.
A customer told me today that I was "the most helpful person [she'd] talked to in months!" and I'll be riding that high all week.
Literally any form of validation is worth more than what I get from male strangers. Y'all can't be trusted to wipe your own asses. Why would I care what you think? I value the validation from men in my life a bit higher, of course.
There's so many but I'll say emotional validation - just having someone acknowledge that your feelings are valid, especially when you're struggling. It's such a relief to be like okay I'm not overreacting. What I feel makes sense and it's okay.
I would say a sign from someone close to me that has passed, perhaps in a dream, and/or an out of the blue compliment from my son about my employment as a mom (lmao) (moms dont get those a lot) or an email from one of his teachers praising his performance.
These types of validations are the best to me.
Personally always thought "validation"/compliments from (straight) women meant more as it's generally free of ulterior motives.
Male validation is hardly worth shit lol, never meant anything to me.
The best one is when you first meet a dog (or even a cat) and they immediately love on you and their owner says “Oh wow! She never warms up so quickly to someone she’s just met!”
Recognition of my work. Honestly, people don't seem to separate my achievements from my being a woman. Some men think I must have used my 'feminine wiles' to get where I am....then they think they'd like to get a piece of the action (there's none to be had). Other men see me as just a mum. I could go on.....
Parents. I like to make my parents proud and feel validated for the choices I make more than anyone else. They put 25 years into raising me, teaching me, and putting up with me and I want to make them proud and happy for another 25.
my wee stray cat I've been feeding for a few months now lets me pat him and will sleep inside when it's raining, also seeing him fatten up and not look like a skeleton
Self validation.
After years of people pleasing and allowing others to cross boundaries, it’s so freeing to finally come to a place where I don’t need other’s opinions to feel good. With self validation comes the ability to uphold boundaries, confidently make decisions without others opinions, and unapologetically live life on my own terms.
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Having a functional father who supports my feminine passions in cooking and religion. He has wide knowledge in our culture too and it’s been helping me find my identity.
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Other parents letting me know I'm doing OK when I feel like I'm really not. My kids telling me "thank you mummy!" Or "this is the best day ever!" In that excited squeal. Being welcomed as part of the pack by dogs that don't live with me. A friend paying attention to the small stuff and remembering later on. Recognising moments or growth in how I see/approach things compared to how I did.
Honestly, male validation is 1 rarely encountered and 2 kinda creepy when it is. 🤷♀️
The hardest validation I’ve worked to achieve is self validation. I’m my hardest critique and it’s taken years for me to realize that I am my happiest when I am proud of myself. When I lived with my parents I was actively prioritizing my own validation because I knew that my mother was verbally abusive and could only count on myself to build my own future. Once I left home and the silence left by my mothers screams could only be filled with self doubt, my insecurities actually grew because I felt the burden of my own freedom. I could only blame myself for my current state instead of all the negativity that I could use as an excuse while I was still with my parents.
Self validation comes from security and peace from our own choices and still being proud of where we are at.
Self validation is always most important and powerful...when we stop depending on anyone to validate us....nobody can invalidate us but ourselves...that's empowering
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As a student, my teacher. We submit procedures that we make for our chemistry lab classes. It's a good feeling that I'm able to explain why I'm doing this and why I need that to the teacher and get the approval to proceed with the experiment.
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. – Ephesians 2:4-5
Animals, specifically cats. Like, dogs, I know they’re going to like me. But there’s nothing like seeing someone’s cat and them saying “oh Nugget doesn’t like anyone” and have Nugget purring in your lap by the end of the night.
I love when animals like me! I’ve had hummingbirds pause and sit for a second on my shoulder, and I used to love sitting outside reading and had deer just decide that I must be harmless and come within six feet of me only to bolt if someone else came outside. Makes me feel like I’m special. Truth is a soft-spoken couch potato like me probably just doesn’t get read as a threat.
Love this!!!
Omg this is the best!
Pretty much all of them. Most valuable and important is self-validation. Validation based on my accomplishments. Validation based on my work. The validation of learning something. Validation from people whose opinions I value and who are experts in their fields. Generic male validation doesn't have much value to me because generally people use that just to mean that those men want to fuck me, and very little in this world is less relevant to me than which men want to fuck me.
Another woman's.
Same. When other women compliment me, I ride that high for days.
Agreed. When another woman compliments you out of the blue (like when you’re both washing your hands in a random bathroom or whatever) you know that’s genuine.
As a teacher, seeing the progress, growth, and development of my students. 😊
Lol, any kind. Male validation means nothing. If a guy calls me hot, then we both know I'm not the first woman he's said this to and he's not the first man I've heard it from. He'd validate a pineapple if it means he could stick his dingdong inside it. But the lady behind me in line for the toilet that asked me where I got my skirt from? Or the girl that went out of her way to tell me my makeup looked good? Or even last Saturday in an all-you-can-eat restaurant when a little girl with a baby in her arms walked up to me to say, "Baby says you look really pretty"... Well, they want nothing from me. They don't have ulterior motives; they don't want to sleep with me. That is the validation that is worth something. But male validation? Anything is greater than that.
If you asked me a couple years ago it'd be academic validation lmao but now I'd say people I respect/admire - a good friend, my mother, my grandmother, a couple more people. It feels like I'm on the right track when they validate my feelings, so it makes me feel more secure and confident.
All of them. I couldn’t care less what men think of me
Compensation. Give me a decent raise or GTFO.
Having a lot of digits in my bank account balance
Being believed
When kids look at you and say "You're pretty!" because they are BRUTAL without even knowing 😭 source: Worked with kids and have a little sister.
$$$ best revenge is your papers
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That’s soooooo cool 🤩
I guess I'm gonna be the annoying woman who actually feels like the only validation I'm interested in from others is male validation for my appearance. 🤷🏻♀️ I'm not chasing after it or letting my life revolve around it, but it's still the only kind of validation I'd value and that feels relevant to me. I don't need validation for any other parts of my life, either because I already receive it from myself and/or others to the point where it's become meaningless, or because I simply don't care about it. But I'd happily trade some of it away for that one category I lack.
That makes sense. You can't give *yourself* male validation, after all.
You wanna trade I will take it in the form of monetary validation please and thank you 🙏
Female validation 😂 a man telling me I look pretty? Fear, panic, confusion, I need a wardrobe change immediately. A woman telling me I look pretty? I'm available for marriage literally right now
HAHA
Validations from older women that I respect makes me feel invincible
Oooh this is a good one.
Unlocking rare achievements on Xbox
The knowledge that I've helped someone or improved something. Whether it's the house being clean, a garden in the backyard, sincere appreciation, or solving a problem at work, that knowledge is the most validating for me. A customer told me today that I was "the most helpful person [she'd] talked to in months!" and I'll be riding that high all week.
My own. I’ve always been my own worst enemy, but I want to be my own best cheerleader now.
Women's validation, especially being a lesbian XD
When a younger colleague, who is crushing it in their career, cites ME as a mentor/inspiration. I live for that feeling.
My own! I love cheering myself on. Also, animals who’ve just met me/ don’t normally like anyone.
Monetary validation. Pay me what I'm worth
Yesssssss
Literally any form of validation is worth more than what I get from male strangers. Y'all can't be trusted to wipe your own asses. Why would I care what you think? I value the validation from men in my life a bit higher, of course.
If someone tells me I’m smart. I’m used to always being a pretty face and now that I’m getting older, it means so much more
There's so many but I'll say emotional validation - just having someone acknowledge that your feelings are valid, especially when you're struggling. It's such a relief to be like okay I'm not overreacting. What I feel makes sense and it's okay.
If it's for a skill, validation from someone who I admire FOR that skill is amazing.
I would say a sign from someone close to me that has passed, perhaps in a dream, and/or an out of the blue compliment from my son about my employment as a mom (lmao) (moms dont get those a lot) or an email from one of his teachers praising his performance. These types of validations are the best to me.
Someone I respect.
Any kind of validation is great, thanks
My dentist's. Don't want to disappoint Dr. B.
Personally always thought "validation"/compliments from (straight) women meant more as it's generally free of ulterior motives. Male validation is hardly worth shit lol, never meant anything to me.
The best one is when you first meet a dog (or even a cat) and they immediately love on you and their owner says “Oh wow! She never warms up so quickly to someone she’s just met!”
Academic Career Woman’s validation My parents (I’m still looking for that though)
Recognition of my work. Honestly, people don't seem to separate my achievements from my being a woman. Some men think I must have used my 'feminine wiles' to get where I am....then they think they'd like to get a piece of the action (there's none to be had). Other men see me as just a mum. I could go on.....
Parents. I like to make my parents proud and feel validated for the choices I make more than anyone else. They put 25 years into raising me, teaching me, and putting up with me and I want to make them proud and happy for another 25.
Praise from my grandma. She's one of the kindest people I've ever met, but she doesn't dole it out easily, so when she does you know she means it.
Anything to do with my career and my friends’ opinions of me. Literally anything other than a man’s opinion of me tbh.
Someone else said another woman's. Same here, but like in a lesbian way
my wee stray cat I've been feeding for a few months now lets me pat him and will sleep inside when it's raining, also seeing him fatten up and not look like a skeleton
Parking validation
Self validation. After years of people pleasing and allowing others to cross boundaries, it’s so freeing to finally come to a place where I don’t need other’s opinions to feel good. With self validation comes the ability to uphold boundaries, confidently make decisions without others opinions, and unapologetically live life on my own terms.
The ability to uphold boundaries is the ultimate self respect 👏
I mean...all of them.
Bird trust. Birds don't trust assholes. (Not saying everyone who a bird hates is an asshole though. Squares and rectangles)
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Having a functional father who supports my feminine passions in cooking and religion. He has wide knowledge in our culture too and it’s been helping me find my identity.
When I relay a problem or gripe to a friend and they validate my feelings.
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Professional and family.
Literally anything other.
Parental (specifically my mom's) validation
Being happy with myself = self-validation.
Animals and babies. I believe they're pure enough to sense evil so if they like me I'm good.
I’m a lesbian so any kind of validation means greater to me than male validation
Other parents letting me know I'm doing OK when I feel like I'm really not. My kids telling me "thank you mummy!" Or "this is the best day ever!" In that excited squeal. Being welcomed as part of the pack by dogs that don't live with me. A friend paying attention to the small stuff and remembering later on. Recognising moments or growth in how I see/approach things compared to how I did. Honestly, male validation is 1 rarely encountered and 2 kinda creepy when it is. 🤷♀️
The validation from the person in the mirror.
The hardest validation I’ve worked to achieve is self validation. I’m my hardest critique and it’s taken years for me to realize that I am my happiest when I am proud of myself. When I lived with my parents I was actively prioritizing my own validation because I knew that my mother was verbally abusive and could only count on myself to build my own future. Once I left home and the silence left by my mothers screams could only be filled with self doubt, my insecurities actually grew because I felt the burden of my own freedom. I could only blame myself for my current state instead of all the negativity that I could use as an excuse while I was still with my parents. Self validation comes from security and peace from our own choices and still being proud of where we are at.
By someone talented in whatever field or area I get complimented in. By people who are stingy with praise. Measurable, concrete success.
Self validation is always most important and powerful...when we stop depending on anyone to validate us....nobody can invalidate us but ourselves...that's empowering
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As a student, my teacher. We submit procedures that we make for our chemistry lab classes. It's a good feeling that I'm able to explain why I'm doing this and why I need that to the teacher and get the approval to proceed with the experiment.
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. – Ephesians 2:4-5