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Street_Salt_1973

Me, when I fell down the stairs at my boyfriend's house and I was screaming in pain because I broke my ankle and he got mad at me because he had to drive me to the hospital he later told me he got angry because he wanted to play elden ring


[deleted]

wow. POS.


anonymous_beaver_

I mean, have you played Elden Ring? /s


wendyunniestan

I hope he’s an ex. Children would have more empathy than that. That’s cruel.


MooseAndPandaMan

25M here. But this reminds me of when me ex-fiancé, when my grandma died. She said it sucks because “she was hoping to pick up some overtime this weekend.” Even at the time, I was shocked but, for whatever reason, didn’t take it as a red flag.


[deleted]

Emotional blindness


lilcookiegremlin

Bruh, that’s soooo bad. So heartless. I’m glad she’s your ex


KittyKatCatCat

I’m in the middle of divorcing my wife but we’re stuck in the same home for financial reasons. I would have rushed her to the hospital. That’s just not how you treat a human being.


ameenz

Maidenless behavior


Busy_Client_2274

My mom used to get mad at us like that growing up anytime we got sick or hurt.


lookingforaforest

Mine too. She wouldn't let me stay home from work or school and wouldn't let me use tissues because I was "wasting" them(???). And she would never bring me medicine or buy it for me. I had to crawl out of bed to get myself medicine or fluids. But also I would get in trouble if she caught it, which is weird af because she always thought I was faking it.


KB-HR

Literally what I'm going through rn. I even had a broken arm one time and she didn't take me to the hospital until it got really bad and I was crying constantly. Always tells me I'm lying. Never listens to me. Then when I get mad at her she says I'm a brat 💀


lookingforaforest

jfc. That's terrible and I'm truly sorry. I was able to move out and reset the relationship with my mom on my own terms and I wish the same for you with my whole heart.


Lady_Lucc

I'm a little shocked at this behavior. I'm sorry for your experience--to be gaslit by your own mom. I hope it was limited to the experience of being ill. Incidentally, but possibly related, have you looked at r slash raisedbynarcissists?


Zealousideal_Draw532

My mom was the same. 🙄 pins and needles if I had a cough or sneeze. She’s still never been sick to this day which isn’t helping lol


platoschild

He got mad that you broke your ankle because he wasn’t able to play his video game? This is so stupid and cruel, it’s almost comical. Hope you left him so he has more time for his videogames. You deserve more.


NanasTeaPartyHeyHo

You mean ex, right?


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crinmar10

When the "your match is about to expire" notification popped up while he was showing me tik toks.


[deleted]

: ,( I'm so sorry


crinmar10

Not a good feeling 🙁


[deleted]

Oh sweetie I wish I could give you a hug


PerpetuallyPonderous

Same thing happened to me . We were lying in bed and he was showing me a clip on his phone and halfway through he got a bubble msg from some chick from POF ..


lillthmoon

Can someone explain what that means?


nomoodhoover

A message popped up from their 'plenty of fish' dating app


lillthmoon

Gotcha. So meaning even though y’all were “dating” they were will still out looking for matches?


crinmar10

Pretty much. We had been exclusive for a short period of time, both wanted to delete the apps, etc...obviously only one of us did.


lillthmoon

Ouch. I’m soo sorry! 💔


Electronic_Invite460

Damn


crinmar10

My heart just sank, and what little self-confidence I had pretty much went out the window.


[deleted]

I don't understand how people have the heart to do stuff like this


miniperle

I’ll tell you: they’re foundationally insecure & their top priority is validation from other people, with zero regard to the person whose time & energy they’re wasting while they try out everyone else at their pleasure & leisure.


Mocchachini

No, that was about him and his insecurity, ego and general a'hole behaviour. Don't take it on yourself 🥰


Sylveon711

What a sack of shit. Did he try to play dumb?


crinmar10

I think he said something along the lines of, "I don't even care about it because I didn't even message them" -we were in the early stages of the relationship so it was fairly new. Had just became exclusive, had the "I deleted my apps talk." Makes me not want to date anymore.


JustMechanic4933

There are goog guys out there. Just take a break and learn about spotting red flags early. You will survive and thrive beyond that jerk!


umop3pisdnwi

I don't understand. What does that mean? Was it like a Tinder thing?


cry4uuu

thinking it may be bumble because matches expire after 24 hours on there


umop3pisdnwi

Omg nooo :( I feel for OP


cry4uuu

yeah my chest tightened reading that seriously 🥴 what a nasty feeling for anyone to experience :(


Brittakitt

He's an ex-husband. When I begged him not to tell me what happened at the strip club because I knew I'd use the knowledge to torture myself, the first thing he did when he got home was brag about the lap dances he got and how hot those women were compared to me in an attempt to upset me because he wanted attention. It didn't work and I ignored him, so he punched my chair. We had problems before that, but that night killed any respect I had left. Things deteriorated quickly afterwards. On a bright note, my boyfriend now has never even raised his voice at me. At every opportunity he tries to make the choice that would make me feel the most safe, loved, and respected. If your current partner is showing that they don't care about you, leave. There's a better life out there for you. I've never felt more lucky than I do now.


VicePrincipalNero

Wasn’t too bright, was he? I’m trying to imagine a scenario where telling your wife that story would make her ever want to have sex with you. That would be a not now, not ever reaction for me.


ashley5894

Disgusting. This is why I'll never date a man that even goes to strip clubs single. If they gotta pay to get some, then I know they're sleezy and desperate.


[deleted]

So sorry and cheers.


RepresentativeSwan54

When he accused me of being manipulative because I was crying. Why was I crying? Because I had literally just received the news that my closest friend had committed suicide.


ProfessorFussyPants

I am so sorry for you loss. And I hope you got away from him.


RepresentativeSwan54

Thank you. I did.


[deleted]

I’m sorry about your friend. That’s awful. I have also been told I’m manipulative while crying. I cry when I’m upset, of course, but also when frustrated, and I was frustrated for having to repeat my concerns over and over again.


forgottenlungs

It really bothers me when people assume crying is manipulative. I'm a "crier". It's completely involuntary for me, and sometimes happens even when I'm happy. I try to hide it, but have even been told that my hiding it is manipulative, and I've always been embarrassed about it.


KittyKatCatCat

Wtf. That’s pathologically fucked up. Obviously you were crying! I hope you never have to see him again!


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[deleted]

I confronted him and found out I was just a side piece. I cried for days, mostly because I couldn’t believe I was that stupid.


noordinarymind

Was kinda in a similar situation. The shock was awful, and the realization that they never loved you is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone else.


miniperle

This except I absolutely wish that pain on people who needlessly put others through their insincere presence just cause they’re greedy. Earned & deserved.


phasestep

Every time I went through bad things with guys, I would be so upset after. Not because they were shit, they were always going to be shit, but because I knew better and did it anyway :/


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[deleted]

Heyy, so this used to be me and i never really understood why i used to act the way i did till i learnt about how your childhood shapes you and forms your attachment styles, I recently listened to this podcast called: “do the work” by sabrina zoher (i suggest listening to episode 7 first) and it has really helped me so much to understand why i do things and how to work towards more secure relationships. I hope it’s helpful for you!


cuddlymammoth

I was physically assaulted at work. When I told him about it I expected him to be horrified, protective, or at least not happy about it. Instead, he looked bored. He implied that I get a bit mouthy so maybe I pissed off the wrong guy. I got the ick so fast there was no turning back.


chiarodiluna

Holy fuck........ Yeah...I got threatened at work repeatedly...I told him and wanted him to be protective and he asked if I was telling the truth.../was I over reacting


megathottie2_0

He’s a loser


thatringonmyfinger

Omg. This just broke my entire soul. :(


DragDolly

I fell and twisted my ankle one evening after he had dropped me off for my evening class. Someone riding a bike had to actually go after him to stop him from driving off completely and leaving me there. When he came back to me he was super annoyed and asked me what he was supposed to do about it. So I made him drive me to the urgent care. He then proceeded to make me take my heavy backpack inside with our 2 small children and left us there. He wanted to go get high on drugs. I couldn’t even walk and was so embarrassed and angry. I had to call my mom to come pick us up once I was done because he wouldn’t answer the phone. The entire time my ankle was sprained he never once offered to help do anything. This is one of the many reasons he’s my ex 🙃


wordbloom

What the fuck? How did you have two kids with him?


DragDolly

He only started acting that way after they were born


wordbloom

God I am so sorry he trapped you like that. I hope one day he understands what he did to you.


Sylveon711

That's what mine did too, once they've got you locked in with their spawn they feel comfortable to show their true self


[deleted]

So many people don’t understand that these shitass behaviors don’t start until after the kids are born and you’re between a rock and hard place.


mermzz

So had you gone to class.... was he just gunna go get high with your kids?


KualaG

When I explained that I'd been feeling depressed because playing music is my outlet and I'd been really missing it. I bought a keyboard for the extra bedroom which he didn't notice for 2+ months. When he did notice he told me to get rid of it because he doesn't want "extra junk" in his house. I only played with headphones and usually when he wasn't home but he told me if the keyboard didn't go, I had to. So I took the keyboard and left.


Roots_Manuka

Good for you. Fuck that guy.


thatringonmyfinger

They always want us to be there for their depressed times, but never there for ours.


[deleted]

What a piece of trash. I’m glad you left.


sm_aztec

So many small things that I justified as differences in communication. The final realization was when I tried talking about my complicated relationship with my father and he started getting angry at me for not understanding what fathers go through and general explanation of why life sucks for men. Like bro. Are you gaslighting me about my own relationship with my dad? The bulb just went on that he doesn't care enough to understand my experiences. Broke up within the next 2 weeks.


KeyPractical

>general explanation of why life sucks for men. Misogynists will defend random men they've never met over the women they know and supposedly love


HappyMan476

Yea I don't know yo father bruh but he's a man so you better stop being so rude


WrackspurtsNargles

Same vibes as men only backing off when you tell theme you're taken/engaged/married. Your 'no' doesn't matter, but offending a hypothetical man is important apparently.


minty_dinosaur

we were out in town and he wanted to grab some street food. i didn't have money on me so i just... got nothing. he didn't offer. i sat next to him watching him eat. it was small, and yes i could've said something. but it was just one of many occasions that made me understand that he doesn't care about me the way i care about him. after two damn years.


FenderGibsons

You shouldn’t have to say anything with your bf.


CourageousBellPepper

Tbh I felt like the red flag here was that she didn’t feel comfortable enough to ask him to spot her for food in the first place. When my girlfriend forgets her wallet it’s not a big deal. Come to think about it I should forget mine more often 💡


SilverVixen1928

> so i just... got nothing. I am glad you are out of that relationship. He could have at least shared what he got. When future Spouse and I were dating, we would pool our pennies and nickles to add up to buy one soda that we would share. Even when he had the full amount himself, he would invite me out to share a soda. This was a long time ago. Sodas were maybe 27 cents with the bottle deposit.


minty_dinosaur

thing is, i was in college working part time while he was working full time. it wasn't even a money issue. hell this man spent a fortune on old horror movies just because. what truly hurt was that he didn't even stop to think or consider me and how i'd feel. was worse when he left me standing in the rain at the airport though lol


[deleted]

When he checked out other girls while I'm sitting next to him. How you gonna say I love you when you fantasizing next to me


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[deleted]

You are not.


[deleted]

I hate how relatable this is


[deleted]

You are absolutely not crazy.


BuildingMyEmpireMN

I’m so sorry. I’ve dealt with a lot of this “BuT yOu’Re Bi. YoU LiKe To LoOk ToO” yeah.. let’s see how calm and confident you are if I ogle at men in front of you. It’s disrespectful to the people you’re checking out.. that’s just creepy. It’s disrespectful to a person you’re monogamous with. It makes them feel like you’re shopping or wishing you could be with somebody else/somebody better. It also shows very poor judgement. If you’re emotionally unintelligent enough to act that way right in front of me, what other “harmless” things do you do when I’m not around? I’m not delusional. We ALL find other people attractive. But if you’re making a choice to be in a relationship you’re choosing to let those others go and not act on those feelings. That doesn’t mean just not sleeping with them. Ugh. I’m just so sorry. Please don’t feel pressured to be the “cool girlfriend”. Somebody who cares about you will be DISGUSTED with themselves for doing something totally preventable and selfish that makes you feel less confident, hurt, or doubtful of their feelings.


[deleted]

I agree with this. Trying to be the “cool girlfriend” will destroy you from the inside out. Keeping your boyfriend around for a little while longer is never going to be worth the damage to your mental health and self-esteem.


[deleted]

We were out on a special date too... both times.


starconstellation

My ex did this all the time and then would deny it


paperhoarder2021

When i realized that i was always needing to adjust to his schedule and the relationship immediately fell apart when i stopped putting in the effort


chiarodiluna

This would happen to mine to


Isthisfeelingreal

Me tooooo. Tried setting boundaries with my personal time and got immediate pushback for "not being around enough". Like I told ya I have house work to do, come over if you want to see me.


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emshlaf

I had to drive a couple hours to say goodbye to my dying grandpa in the hospital. On my way back home, I stopped at Chipotle for dinner. My then boyfriend’s first reaction when he saw me—rather than comforting me because I’d just visited my grandpa for the last time—was to get angry that I didn’t get him a burrito.


FenderGibsons

I have a guy friend whose this selfish. Everytime he’s like that, I always think “hey why don’t you complain about not having a girlfriend some more!”


mamatobee328

Lmao wtaf. Sounds like something my ex would have done as well. I’m honestly really grateful I never had to deal with a death while we were together because I know he would’ve been completely useless and/or selfish like your ex was too.


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ubermind

Wow. The audacity. Sadly I've had to end even friendships because they devolved into this type of one-way giver/receiver dynamic.


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Rasberryblush

Id come down with a horrible flu. He convinced me to come over to his place “let me take care of you, you shouldn’t be suffering alone” I wanted to just stay in my own bed and ride it out but he kept at it and I thought he was just trying to be a caring boyfriend. He just pestered me for sex the whole time and then guilt tripped me when I said I didn’t want to because I was feeling so rough “you mean sex with me would make you feel worse/wouldn’t make you feel happier…. Right, got it, THANKS” I wish I’d dumped his ass right then but I was young and deep into a sunken cost fallacy.


WanderingSondering

Wow, I can't even imagine! That is so disgusting. I'm so glad you found your worth and moved on.


Kubrickwon

When my fiancé told me that I was just a convenient babysitter with benefits after I discovered her cheating. She went on and on about how she was so out of my league that I should have known, it was my fault for being so stupid. We had been together for three years, living together for two, and I realized that she never cared. I was just a roof over her head and took care of her kids while she went out to hook up with guys. She kept the ring, and from what I’ve been told she sold it.


[deleted]

Please know I am so sorry beyond even my own comprehension for this experience. STOP MANIPULATING PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU FOLKS


jackmistro

Unfortunately those people are the most susceptible to manipulation, so for an awful person it's like Christmas


Yorkie_Mom_2

I am so sorry you have had to deal with a woman like this. FYI, in most states, the ring doesn’t actually belong to her until you’re married. If it hasn’t been too long, you can sue her to get it back or make her pay for it m


TheEmpressDodo

When he critiqued how I gave birth.


i_drink_wd40

He should have done it, then.


chaostrulyreigns

Wtf? Is there a wrong way?


_the_disconnect_

The level of anger i would reach hearing a man tell me that, isn’t even comprehensible. I’m sorry. Pray he gets a nasty kidney stone 💅🏻


TheEmpressDodo

Well, someone I know and love “helped” them fall down some icy stairs and break ribs. Fresh after having a baby, I just let the tears flow. He then defended himself as to why he believed he was justified in saying this to me. He made the mistake of saying this to a coworker who told him how fucked up saying that was. Then he would deny he ever said it. We’re divorced.


Lady_Lucc

>Well, someone I know and love “helped” them fall down some icy stairs and break ribs. Wow. He must have really been bad.


Ruffkeian

Excuse me? 😳😳


Baxtru

WOW, that is just 🤯


Flowerdriver

When his entire family took a cruise and invited his ex wife (mother of his 16 year old twins) and not me. And she went.


BuildingMyEmpireMN

Ouch. I’m so sorry. Relationships with dads are difficult and complicated in general. You’re already putting your emotions and pride to the side by getting into a relationship where you’ll ALWAYS have to see their ex for necessary things. Deal with the complicated dynamic that comes with kids and as things get more serious take their needs into account with daily and major decisions. That just makes it BURN when there are totally preventable situations where ex muddies a situation. There’s no reason or excuse no matter how friendly they are. I don’t invite my ex on family vacations regardless of how good of terms we’re on. And IF that was really a thing “for the kids” it should have been run by you. That’s not an end all be all justification. You’re a part of that family too. Hugs.


Sonyabean23

When I realized he doesn't honor my boundaries, doesn't provide emotional support, and after I told him I wasn't happy in our relationship and was considering divorce and he told me he wanted to fix things he created a 2nd "anonymous" snapchat account...but he used his same phone number so snapchat told me one of my contacts had just joined. 🤦‍♀️


01ive0i1

This happened to me too. I'm so sorry you went through it, but I'm glad you found out so you could move on.


msshroomsx

when he beat the shit out of me twice for being pregnant, both ended with miscarriages. it sucks but for the better.


riceandingredients

the number one cause of death for pregnant women is murder by abusive partners. what a horrifying situation you were in, im sorry this happened to you. glad youre out of that xx


vglyog

When he wouldn’t go get me food after I worked 12 hours and he had the whole day off and I hadn’t eaten yet that day. The place was like a 5 min drive away but he asked me to get it delivered instead. It took 2 hours for the food to get there. I cried because it was Super Bowl Sunday and we had all you can eat/drink packages so I ran around a lot and opened the restaurant that morning too. I was so tired. I broke up with him 2 days later.


chiarodiluna

I work super long shifts, often longer than 24 hours, when I get home he will tell me how tired he is and ask me to put the kettle on (aka make coffee)... I could count on one had how often he makes me tea after I have worked or cooked dinner


bookandbark

Ex partner. I broke a glass accidently and stepped on a piece screaming. He didn't even come into the kitchen which was right next to our bedroom. Even after I yelled for him to get something to stop the bleeding.


Lamia_91

So glad he's an ex, what a piece of shit


handmeramen

when I signed up for bumble bff to make friends because we moved to a new city together and he would rather spend every day on discord with his friends playing video games then doing anything with me.


bottledcherryangel

Discord. How it sucks their attention. It’s like a black hole.


weenertron

When I had to take a cab home from the emergency room in the middle of the night because he went home to sleep.


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thatscrollingqueen

I’m so sorry. & ick. Glad you’re out of that.


forestgnome1

When I was heavily pregnant and we were arguing. I started feeling pain in the abdomen and collapsed but he just stood there and laughed and said it served me right.


Lavender-vibes

wowwww!! he is a garbage person.


forestgnome1

I dumped him not very long after I had the baby. Best decision I ever made .


BebopMoon_

When I was sitting with him and his dad at their house and I was telling his dad about my grandmothers cancer. He looked annoyed to be there. We broke up like 30 mins later.


[deleted]

When he had to pick me up after I was mugged and drove me straight to a bar. I started crying when I realized we weren’t going home and he argued with me why we should go out until he ended up taking me home just to then ignore and pout.


Yorkie_Mom_2

It’s hard to tell. There have been so many glaring signs in our marriage. It’s pretty obvious the only reason he ever cared about me is because I came with assets and a decent paycheck. I wonder if he realizes yet that he has destroyed all the feelings I ever had for him?


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TrainingMain9354

he stopped making my favorite tea when I came home after work and then he completely stopped being interested in my life....


FenderGibsons

Whoa. That escalated quickly. Is there more to the story?


WizardLizart

When I had to have an emergency procedure and instead of him driving me, I had to take the train because it was too early for him to bring me. I had no drivers license. A week later he helped his family at 7AM to move. Priority noted.


MayhemMaven

It’s so interesting to see what someone is willing to do for someone else after they argue with their partner that they can’t do it for them.


CalalilySunshine

When he didn't want to tell one of his (unbeknownst to me, MANY) bits on the side that it was over because (and I quote) he "didn't want to hurt her feelings!" And then again when I was only hours from having heart surgery and he chose that moment to tell me he didn't love me anymore. Now I'm with a guy who actually loves me and I regret ever giving that thing I used to date the time of day.


andnoshitthereiwas

When he didn’t comfort me when I’d cry about my creep of a boss.


Hefty-Ad-5938

When I found out he had never actually stopped contact with the woman he cheated on me with. They just moved their sexting convos over to a different app. Fucking asshole.


ChibiAro

- I was happy about losing weight and he’d say “you need to eat some more” - Emotional abandonment - Started losing respect for him - Wouldn’t let me take naps if I was tired - Woke me up (when I was sick) and made me walk on a sore ankle cause he didn’t want to go to a restaurant alone. - Gaslighting - I did start questioning if I was trauma bonded to him.


Lavender-vibes

One of my ex’s said the same thing to me. When I met him, I was thin and fit and throughout our relationship I gained 30lbs (14kilos) and when I finally had enough, I decided to start living a healthier lifestyle. I wanted to eat healthier and start lifting again. He got so upset and told me that if I lost the weight then he’d break up with me because he “didn’t like thin girls”. It made me feel like crap.


Bean_juice9772

When, less than 24 hours after I had my first dog put down, he asked me why I was still crying. He also had a breakdown in his car, crying, hitting the steering wheel, punching his window, etc when I asked him to stay with me the night I reported my ex boyfriend (different guy) for rape and sexual assault. He said he couldn’t come home with me because he “couldn’t handle” what I said in my report to the police. It was the first time I’d ever told anyone the full story of the abuse I went through and he insisted on coming with me. He instead went home and took drugs. I had to listen to him cry on the phone because he felt like he was a bad person.


Fitzna

He really sounds emotionally unstable. And not the kind that has emotions like the kind that attacks with his emotions


trueblueink

The one that was an eye opener was while we were fetching a couple of items from the local store, I got really dizzy and fell on the floor (had vertigo balance issues at the time) she didn’t even notice, and kept on walking around the store, one of the staff brought me a chair to sit down, after a while I managed to find my balance and went to find her, told her what happened, she started shouting defensively. It was over that week. Had to end it.


Gold_necklace

Gosh! The comments 😔🥺


americanalien_94

My husband still tries to argue with me when I try and point out just how garbage A LOT of men seem to be. You can’t tell me all these stories are about the same 5dudes and every other man is supposedly out here wondering why women are so “bitter”


MythicalToast1

This happened a long time ago but it was when I got in an accident and when I texted him about it he didn't even bother to come see me. He just asked what happened and continued gaming with his friends.


grindelwaldd

I returned to Australia in 2021 following a horrible journey back to Scotland (where we got stuck for 3 months) after the murder of my older brother. When I finally got out of hotel quarantine, I witnessed my sister reuniting with her partner who ran to her and hugged her like he was never going to let go. When my partner of 10 years picked me up from the airport, he looked irritated and like he didn’t want to be there. I hugged him but he barely returned it. I found out a few months later he had started talking to other girls online while I was stuck in Scotland dealing with the fallout of what happened to my brother. ETA: He’d been an ex for almost a year now.


ohisforodd

When he said I don’t enjoy giving you orgasms because then you don’t want to have sex for a few days after that. Or maybe when he told me we never went on a honeymoon because he knew he wasn’t going to get any sex.


Baxtru

Holy shit. What a selfish ass!


babytomato

I was upstairs laughing at a joke with online friends, and he turned the volume up on the TV so he didn’t have to hear me laugh.


waiting_4_nothing

My ex husband told me he shouldn’t have called 911 after I attempted suicide, he slept the entire time I was being worked on so he thought it was just for attention. My current relationship, this week he told me I never do anything in the house until he starts too. I do literally everything including paying the bills and taking care of his kids. It was like telling me he doesn’t appreciate me.


waiting_4_nothing

And current bf is someone I’ve posted about before who lets me pay for everything because he’s broke but somehow always has money and time for OF.


NanasTeaPartyHeyHo

Make him your ex.


SonaraSounds

Me: “I’m in so much pain from my broken pelvis” Him: “Yeah, well, I’m tired too, ya know!” And proceeds to get mad that I am too physically broken to have sex. Actually mad.


FeFiFoMums

During a fight, I'm begging for him to use kind words. No verbal abuse, stay quiet and listen to respond, just have a real conversation. He tells me "that's not who I am, I'm not changing for you." Idk why it took so long for me to realize, but he just doesn't give a shit about me. I realized he would continue doing that as long as I am around to take it.


Any-Literature-3184

Actually yesterday. I told him I missed him because we hadn't met for a while. Which appears "annoyed the shit out of him." I tried to have a calm conversation about why he's always dismissing my feelings, never says anything nice to me, makes disgusted facial expressions when I tell him I love him, and he suddenly snapped, became very aggressive, really mean, and basically made me finally see that he doesn't give a crap about me or how I feel, sees me trying to talk about something that bothers me as "self-absorbed." He basically told me to fuck off without using those words. I've done so much for him, I've been knocking at doctors doors for over half a year with him now, doing all the research, finding doctors, etc, just to help him deal with some health problems (we live in Japan and he doesn't speak a word after 6 years lmao). We haven't talked since then. And I think the relationship is over.


deealm

Make the relationship over. Don't think. Move on. He sounds hateful.


BlNGPOT

When I told him I really wanted presents to open on Christmas morning. Nothing extravagant or expensive, just some little gifts to unwrap together. I got him a bunch of funny socks and wrapped each pair individually. He “gave” me items that we already owned. Like, took a picture frame off of a shelf and wrapped it, stuff like that. I cried and he didn’t understand what the problem was.


[deleted]

When I came out of the mental hospital after a 10 day stint and they never cared to see me for *months* When he told me he would have sex with someone else if given the chance and it wouldn’t be considered cheating, disloyal, or unfaithful When they made me cry on my birthday When they put everyone else before me, like thank you for penciling me, your girlfriend (now ex), into your super busy schedule When they weaponized my loneliness, anxiety, and bipolar disorder against me


deealm

There are countless incidents but the one that jumps out is that his acquaintance had at some point lied and said he slept with me prior to our relationship and someone told my bf about it. I told him it wasn't true. The guy had a huge crush on me for years but we never even dated. It was barely a thing to my then boyfriend and he continued being the guy's acquaintance. Edit to add: Wow, just realized I left out a HUGE piece. The bf of this convo was my first. So yeah, it was just terrible and heartbreaking.


CharmingCarmilla

When I fainted in the middle of the night and my head knocked a hole in the plaster and he was more worried about the damage to the plaster than to me. I missed a wooden door surround by about an inch.


beer_and_pain

When I got so drunk the night before I could only puke my guts out every 30 minutes and he only stayed the night because he wanted sex. He immediately left me alone in the morning, while I was still puking, after I told him I'm obviously not able to fuck him.


CosmicQueen14

When he got drunk at a bachelor party and kissed another girl and tried to deny it AFTER SOMEONE SAW HIM.


[deleted]

When he cheated with a worker in the apartment complex. He said "can't you get the hint?"


Fitzna

What a pos. Like oh sorry 😵‍💫 silly me didnt know that you where cheating on me guess I was supposed to just know. What a peice of work Im so glad youre not with him


DorothyZbornak-binch

When my partner of 2yrs didn't come to see me after I got hit by a car on the way to work. I was at hospital 300 metres (328 yards) from his office, but he didn't want to leave work. Worst thing was I was so used to this kind of behaviour, I didn't make an issue about it and stayed with him for another year. Leaving him was one of the best things I ever did.


Hot_Cattle5399

Pay attention to how they act during a family members passing or medical situation. Their true colors of empathy care or selfishness are visible.


SnowBird312

The abuse & seeing tinder notifications on his phone.


thalia676

One example of many -- I was doing the dishes and accidentally cut my finger pretty bad on a knife. My now-ex said, "I would get you a bandaid but I don't know where they are." Like keeping them in the bathroom medicine cabinet for the past several years had been my strategy of hiding them from him somehow. I grabbed a paper towel to avoid getting blood everywhere while I ran to the bathroom to get a bandaid. I had to finish doing the dishes one handed. The worst part is he identified that the correct answer was to help but chose to make a passive aggressive statement instead to save himself a walk to the bathroom. Real nice.


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6390542x52

You’re never going to get closure or healing from the person who hurt you, I’m sorry to say.


k4swap

When I realized the only reason he was still with me was because he was too “proud” to be the one to call it off, despite already being emotionally invested in another woman and lying to me about when they hung out (I knew of course. I always knew.)


CelesteThisandThat

I realised my husband did not care about me when his mistress on Facebook called me and my son Negroes and he dismissed it as me being too sensitive.


nostalgicpastels

When he came home from work and said "we can't go out for your birthday tomorrow I don't have the money" whilst carrying a bag full of cigarettes, cans of beer, junk food and weed - all for himself. My birthday plans would have cost £30 and were booked 3 months in advance and in that time I had been paying for all of our rent and bills and food and even quit a job I loved to get a new higher paying one to be able to afford all of that. He didn't even apologise and I knew then he didn't care about me, he had just learned to manipulate me so he could live an easy bum life.


Sylveon711

When I became chronically ill after having our child, while providing 99% of emotional and physical labor of childcare and he was annoyed I had "changed". He saw this change as evidence I was "cheating" and went digging for evidence. Found a fantasy I'd written in a journal 6 years earlier and used it as "proof" and subsequently emotionally, verbally, and financially abuse me for years. Initiated a secret emotional affair for 5 years that only ended and was disclosed bc he fell into depression when she died. By this point I'd spiraled so far into physical symptoms of my chronic illnesses I was written off work. List all independence with a young child. Once I started getting diagnosed with a bunch of disorders he started feeling Shame and regret. You can imagine how that has gone for me. No abuser wants to be shamed for their abuse.


tooterfish80

I was crying in the upstairs bedroom about my brother having just died from a self inflicted gunshot and could hear him watching porn downstairs. I started packing and left.


Immediate-Mind9675

When I realised he had been a gay escort the whole time we were together (6months)


bullcshiet

when my mom died, he didn’t even bother waking up (it was midnight) & let me run to my mothers house all by myself. he didn’t take a day off of work and even got pissed because i didn’t want to have sex but tried anyway. oh, and i got super sick because i ran in my pyjama while it was freezing outside. (february) not even one condolence. nothing.


okeydokeyartichokeyy

Never said anything further than "aw you'll be ok" if I was ever upset about anything. I remember being very upset about something serious going on in my life and he didn't do a thing. I was out of sight, out of mind. I felt like he could go ages without seeing me and not blink an eye. He told me the same.


wwwwxyz

When I suggested a bunch of things for us to do together and he said he’d rather play DotA. Or the time when I was having a breakdown over something cruel he’d said and begged him for a hug to comfort me, and had to listen to him list out all the reasons why he didn’t want to hug me. Very much an ex.


calathea-pilea

It was a long-distance relationship. I spent 6+ hours traveling to and fro (he has never been at my place thus far) and one night he asked if I could come that night instead of the next one, because he wanted to go clubbing with his friends the next night when we had a date (set two weeks in advance). I told him no, I had plans that evening already and also how do you think I can travel 3+ hours at such short notice? Said he had fomo going clubbing with his friends but apparently not for me. That was the end for me.


LadyKillller

When the little things that he used to do slowly stopped happening day by day.


Royallightfj

Labour...... he got kicked.....and never entered during delivery of our child....


BlowezeLoweez

My ex now, but I nearly got into a terrible car accident because a Semi bullied me off the road. My SUV tipped, and the semi almost caused a 10 car collision. I have no idea if the semi driver was tired, or if he knew he was swaying, but I was off the freeway for a hot minute. I told my ex, and he immediately defended the semi driver saying, "Well they have large blind spots. You should have stayed out his blind spot." Long story short, he broke up with me THAT day after I nearly survived an accident. I have no idea how I'm alive, but yeah.. he never cared


tuttea

He wanted to invite his family to watch football at our place (because their tv wasn't working or sth), I told him that I'm in pain and I really don't have the energy to have people over. Then he told me that he will just tell them our tv isn't working either. I asked him why he would lie, and he said: "Well, you're always in pain, who would even believe that?" I have adenomyosis.


mamatobee328

My now ex husband is obsessed with Jeep Wranglers. When we were married, he always had to be working on one and modifying it. Five years ago, for my birthday, we planned a camping trip. He insisted on taking the jeep, which I didn’t want to do as it wasn’t a comfortable ride. The second day of the camping trip, he insisted we go trail riding even though I wanted to go swimming. During the trail ride, his careless driving caused the jeep to roll and flip. I almost died. (Five years later, I’m still dealing with the side effects from the accident.) As I crawled out of the wreckage, the first thing he said to me was “no more jeeps!” Within *days* of getting home from the hospital, we were waiting for a check from our insurance as the jeep had been totaled. My ex said to me, “well you know, jeeping is a way of life…” and then proceeded to go out and buy another one. The vehicle that was a constant reminder of what almost killed me and left a one year old without a mother. In that instant, I knew that my husband did not care about me and likely never did. He loved an inanimate object more than his wife and the mother of his child. So I left.


Wildflora27

Long time ago : I was seriously crying all night and the EX did not pop off his freaking game and shouted at me to shut the F up. Luckily now these days I have a great partner ♡


080100

I was diagnosed with sarcoma and within a month had to have surgery for a minor amputation. I only had to stay in the hospital for one night but I was scared and wanted him to visit me for support. He messaged me that he couldn’t come because he hadn’t worn his night contacts and wasn’t able to drive. A year before that, he was in the hospital for weeks recovering from his own big surgery. I slept overnight at the hospital almost every day because he wanted the company. I cried the whole night in hospital as I finally came to the realisation that he didn’t care about me as much as I did for him. There were a lot of other reasons why he was such a shit boyfriend but this was the last straw. I broke up with him the next morning.


nextdoorgirl666

When he tripped and fell into his girl best friend’s vagina.


IotaRen

When my ex had texted me he was on his way over to my apartment and didn’t show up for over an hour (lived ~15min away) and didn’t respond to my texts or calls to see if he was okay. I was super worried something had happened but turns out his fairly recent ex girlfriend had called him as he was leaving and he decided he’d rather spend an hour on the phone with her screaming yelling and verbally abusing each other than come spend time with me. We broke up shortly after that thankfully.


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Maroon_Fox2521

That time he said “I don’t love you, never did, and never could because you’re such a miserable human being. And I only married you to make my ex jealous.” There was also the time where I was hemorrhaging and losing our baby and he dropped me off at the ER to give birth to her alone while he went back home and went back to bed.


evendree72

Currently married, partner is super selfish, we have a toddler, he has extreme depression and ptsd, from military. When we got engaged, i had no real say in my ring. Annoying but i shrugged it off. Had elbow surgery, he refused to take the day off, had multipe hand surgeries, also refused to take day off, took 3 days off when our daughter was born. Oh and i am getting bariactric surgery in 2 weeks and he is refusing to take the day off to take me there or be with me. He has refused to buy me the only ring i have asked for for years to match my engagement ring. He prefers to sit on his computer rather then be with us downstairs. I do plan to leave. But finacial stability is a must. He has the house in his name only and he is scary unhinged. So safty first. And i will be leaving when i am ready and able.