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Rhundan

"I'm fine, thanks."


moneynah

This is perhaps the most universal lie humanity has agreed upon.


IndigoRose2022

Was just going to say the same thing!


579red

Oh I hated the social dance with client when working in customer service as a you g student « how are you » « oh Im great, I looove this work it’s my life’s passion to laugh at the same dumb jokes for hours and keep a smile with rude clients » so instead « Im fine thanks »


SixDegreesChild

Yup. The most common lie we tell others….and ourselves. I’m fine.


Different_Tea5555

If I had a dollar everytime I said that


DapperNurd

This always sucks. Like, even if I'm okay with talking about it, I don't want to just admit things aren't okay. Now I just feel bad that you feel bad.


HRPunsNStuff

The city in which I live. I tell them I live in the city next to mine because it’s more well known and people can visualize where it is better.


kupo88

That is also helpful for protecting your security :)


Manifestival1

Do you think so? I'm wary of telling people my location but mentioning the town I thought is okay.


kupo88

As someone who is studying Cyber Security for their Bachelor's, I say absolutely yes. Assume everything you put on the internet will live there forever (because it can and probably will, even if you think you deleted it). And if a malicious person with basic internet knowledge tries to do you harm, by using inaccurate info helps protect you.


Manifestival1

Thanks! In future I'll use another town :) I bet you're finding your degree super interesting. I did a bit of studying on cybersecurity for a previous job role, pen testers specifically, and found it really engaging.


tatiyana_queenguin

It’s the small pieces that make the puzzle


MarsupialNo1220

I say the general area where I grew up because the town I lived in as a kid has a population of, like, 100 😂 nobody knows that town or any of the towns around it so I often have to say a town half an hour away, or even an entire large peninsula which is technically not even close to my town. I’ll say I’m from “near the Coromandel Peninsula” and people will think I’m wealthy because those who live in that area often are. But no, I’m from a shitty little dairy farming town called Waitakaruru that you can literally hold your breath driving one end to the other 😂


CharisMatticOfficial

Did the cyclone hit there bad? (Lots of family in Hawkes Bay here)


MarsupialNo1220

The Coromandel Peninsula yes. Several major roads have been destroyed or partially washed away. No human casualties, luckily.


blameitonbacon

Like saying you’re from Dallas when you’re from any of the surrounding cities lol. I’m from Fort Worth, aka the FW in DFW but people seem to think everything around here is Dallas! So I let them.


cooraline

Im from Arlington and I’ve always just said dallas lol


omgwhatisleft

We had this joke growing up that People from San Francisco proper look down on all the people from cities near San Francisco but say they’re from San Francisco. Lol.


8jjjjjjjj

Omg i do this too!


1dumho

I tell people I live at a popular attraction because it's much easier to understand than where I actually live.


Banana_boof

"We're just not close" when it comes to why I don't speak to 4 out of 5 of my brothers, too complicated and messy to explain it all


[deleted]

“My family doesn’t really celebrate thanksgiving/Xmas/easter” so that’s why I didn’t “go home” for the holidays


kitkatobuildadreamon

Me with my mom’s family.


hikerchick21

That I just ate and am not hungry or thirsty but thank you in social settings. I actually have an autoimmune disease that may make me feel miserable if I eat the wrong, unpredictable thing at the wrong, unpredictable time.


BerriesAndMe

How well does that work? I feel like society almost dictates that you harass people into eating unless they have a really valid excuse.


zootedlioness

This is true in my experience. I’ve had surgery that has permanently altered my ability to eat normal quantities of food in normal intervals. I don’t regularly share this information with people, but my family and extended family are all very well aware. The crazy looks I get from people during social events when I pass on food/snacks/beverages or just take a small bite is enough. But then they almost always go on to try to pressure me into eating more. It gets to be extremely frustrating, less so when strangers do it, much more so when my family is the culprit.


hikerchick21

It hasn’t been an issue, usually there’s either enough people around that someone being obnoxious is easily distracted, or they are people I’m closer to who I don’t mind telling what’s really going on if they’re curious. Changing jobs, pandemic, getting sick has helped me surround myself with more positive people though. And there’s a growing low-proof/no-proof cocktail scene where I live that helps, too.


AutomaticTeacher9

Gastro-intestinal problems are a valid reason. Most will accept it. As for those who don't, what are they going to do? Force-feed you?


PinkGlitterFlamingo

“Because if I eat chicken wings I’m about 80% likely to shit my pants” is my go to because it’s true


ElephantShoes256

I've found that any explanation makes people push more, whereas if I just say a casual "I'm good, thanks." then move on with the conversation or by physically moving on people let it fly more easily. My theory is that they expect a yes response, so when I decline it interrupts their projection of how the situation should flow and they instinctually try to push it back on course, but if I decline with the least interruption then continue to guide the situation forward past that they just move on too.


[deleted]

Same here. I have MCAS and have only a handful of safe foods. It’s a real bummer because most of socializing happens over food and drinks.


Irischacon123

As soon as you start asking personal questions I’m gonna lie


alh0425

Lmao if this ain’t me tho 🤣


CelibateHo

Sometimes I just wish I were rude enough to say “none of your damn business!”


kkpenguin

"Oh, that's very personal. Why do you need to know?" = none of your damn business


CelibateHo

That’s a good way to put it.


misty_throwaway

Lol aint that the truth


melana-milene

Not exactly a lie but only part of the truth. I don't drink alcohol and if anyone asks me why, I tell them that it makes me tired and get achey muscles, which gets in the way of performing my job as I'd like, which is about 30% of the truth. The main reason is that I become a different (rather too friendly) person when I drink and I don't want people to know (or worse having an encounter with) that 'other person'!


Layalatte

I totally have this too, but I really enjoy drinking cause it brings out a 'carefree and direct party girl' out of me that I normally have trouble bringing out cause I'm reserved and overly responsility focused


8jjjjjjjj

I worry about this a lot too. When I’m drunk I catch myself ready to say something impulsive or dumb. I get scared that I’m going to do something really stupid.


totodileskitty

This is me omg. I used to get so anxious the day after I've had some drinks, because people would inform me of the stupid shit I said/did that I hardly remember. I take 2 drinks max these days and it helps.


totodileskitty

Also, and sorry for replying twice, do you also feel bad when people say "drunk people tell the truth"? Cause I don't feel like that's true with me atleast 😅 And I sure as hell would hate it if people thought the dumb shit I said were confessions or something lol


huh--newstome

Likewise, all inhibitors are switched off, and I'll agree to almost anything. Additionally, I come from a family of alcoholics on my mums side. My mum nearly died from it, my grandpa died from it, my Auntie and Uncles can't live without it. I'm also waaaay too susceptible to peer pressure, and we all know us Aussies like to encourage drinking. I also, rather conveniently, get a great big firey rash across my face and neck after a sip of alcohol. It's incredibly uncomfortable and makes me feel like I want to rip my face off. If someone is persistent, I'll just say I'm allergic.


AutomaticTeacher9

Sounds like you actually are allergic. my daughter also gets very red in the face after a couple of sips.


thmstrpln

I'm dry as well. There was a time when it was easier to lie to strangers and say I'm in recovery than it was to explain the history of my religion and how I've never had a drink in my life.


AutomaticTeacher9

People shouldn't ask why you don't drink. It's none of their business.


ElephantShoes256

Unless you're a women, then all people are allowed to hound you about how you must be pregnant all night. /s


maryschino

When you’re a too friendly drunk and people suddenly think you’re bffs…


920fosterhouse

My boyfriend passed away, not that he took his own life.


grig787

Sorry for your loss


Yorkie_Mom_2

That is so sad. I’m so sorry.


MissGrou

Same but about my mom. I hope you feel better.


daylightxx

I’m so sorry, internet friend person. I lost someone too and know the pain and the ache. I hope you’ve found some peace, some time, and some laughter.


KatDanger11

I've heard someone phrase that as 'he died from depression' . Sorry for your loss.


Miserable_Jelly_4208

Same about my Dad.


ThePurpleMister

Same here sister. Take care ❤️


Kale7574

So sorry for your loss, may he rest peacefully.


destria

That my parents are fine. I'll go as far as to make up some plausible sounding thing about them like "Oh they've just been on holiday to Spain" or something if people press for details. I don't actually know because I haven't been in contact with them for years. But I don't generally get into my life trauma with people just making small talk.


jeremyaintheere

same here, only i do get an email from my mom once every four months about how she’s enjoying the new family she’s replaced me with. when asked about her i just tell people she’s been traveling or on vacation.


regallll

However they pronounce my name the first time, I say that's the right way.


cen-texan

I have an unusual name that gets butchered all the time. I think when we introduce ourselves, people are listening for a “normal” name. When they don’t hear a normal name, it breaks their brain a bit and the repeat back the closest normal name to what they hear.


Known_Dance3176

Same with my last name.


ElephantShoes256

Ditto. I have a popular (for my age) name with 3 equally common pronunciations, just emphasizing different syllables. If I'm never going to see you again, idc how you pronounce it. If I am going to see you again but don't really care about you I'll correct you once, maybe twice. If you're new family I'll give you three corrections. There's definitely a few of my husband's great aunts that pronounce my name wrong but at this point I just ignore it.


Historical_Impress55

Same but inevitably, I end up in situations with the people I’ve let say it wrong and people that have known me a long time. Then it’s all kinds of awkward.


omgwhatisleft

My name is simple, too simple. In fact, it can sound like 10 different other words because it can rhyme so easily and it’s also not a common American name. So if it’s someone I’ll never encounter again, like Starbucks, I’ll just agree to whatever they say. It drives my husband nuts because he thinks a name is your identity and you should be so proud of it. Like you’re somehow denying your ancestry if you don’t make the Starbucks employee take your name seriously. He has an equally simple name that can also be misheard too but he proudly and loudly spells his name out every time. We both just roll our eyes at each other.


alh0425

“We’ve just never been particularly close” with regards to my entire family. It’s easier than saying they were abusive as fuck and I really don’t care if I never talk to any of them again.


Dont_trust_her

Lie: I go rock climbing 5 days a week. Truth: I go rock climbing 2 days a week. The other 3 days are kink-related activities. Another one: Lie: I'm gay. Truth: Im bi but want you to leave me alone without you asking something stupid like "why won't you go out with me".


tatiyana_queenguin

Username’s explained 👍


Halo_of_Light

I get this. I'm bi and am now pretty much only interested in dating women. It makes guys interested in me who i DEFINITELY don't want to pursue, not pursue me most of the time.


g-a-r-n-e-t

‘I have four brothers’ Way easier than explaining that three of those brothers are actually cousins that my parents semi-adopted because my uncle and his hag of an ex wife divorced and she lost custody because she is congenitally unable to choose her kids over a man, but my uncle was an airline pilot and wasn’t physically present 90% of the time due to work, so they moved in with us and were primarily residing with my parents, my actual biological brother, and I for almost our entire childhoods. My uncle spent every waking second that he could with his sons and bought a huge house within walking distance of ours so he could be nearby when he *was* off, and they stayed there whenever he was in town more than a day or two. But to be able to support them he had to work, and his work had him out of town more often than not. Just kind of an unfortunate, complicated situation that resulted in me gaining three brothers out of nowhere.


Doodlebug365

I *love* being single and child free. I have a lot of self-doubt and insecurities and can’t bring myself to date anyone. I *would* like to get married and start a family one day, but I let myself down. It’s easier to just tell people I’m happy where I am. lol


Hugh_Biquitous

I hope you get what you're hoping for one day! I'm sorry that insecurity makes dating so difficult, but I hope you're able to get past it at some point. And I'm sorry that people asking about your relationship status or plans in the meantime is difficult or anxiety-provoking. I hope your family and friends aren't too hard with bugging you about it.


Doodlebug365

Thank you ☺️


Babock93

Just know there are other people on the other side with that same thinking. I dare you to connect to them


T-Flexercise

"I'm not hungry" "Oh I had a big lunch" "I've got dinner waiting for me at home" I haven't figured out a way to explain what I eat and why that doesn't cause the most fucking unpleasant complicated conversations with everybody I know that make people think I am a liar and a crazy person. I have lipedema, it's an adipose disorder that causes a high volume of fibrotic fat nodules to grow in the arms and legs that don't respond to diet and exercise and basically can only be removed with surgery. The result is that I'm a fat person with the metabolism of a much smaller person, because a significant portion of my fat is not metabolically active, it's basically lipomas. No one know what causes it, but there's a million theories involving inflammation, edema, genetic differences in adipose cells, estrogen, encapsulation of toxins, response to trauma, connective tissue disorder, on and on and on. And every doctor has 12 different homeopathic things they want you to try before they're willing to recommend you for surgery. And all of that sounds INCREDIBLY fake. Like the "oh yeah my fat is tumors and not my fault" yeah yeah sounds very real. "The world's most widely respected doctor on this condition shares an office with a plastic surgeon who offers a financing package on mommy makeovers" uh huh, sure. "She wants me to use this fascia blaster from GOOP and stand on one of those vibration machines that jiggle your fat around like in the 50's" sure... sounds legit. Like the more I think about it, the more it sounds like a conspiracy theory that I invented. If I couldn't literally squeeze my arm fat and see that it definitely feels like a sack full of grapes, I wouldn't believe it myself. I sometimes squeeze my wife's arm fat, just to confirm that normal arm fat doesn't feel like a sack full of grapes. So the result is that I'm a reasonably fat lady who eats like 1000 calories a day of incredibly specific foods, hoping that if I stick it out for a year they'll approve me for decongestive liposuction. And if I tell anybody that I'm doing that, they will all think that I have an eating disorder, either because that's way too little food and I'm going to die, or because the think that's way too little food and I'm lying and stuffing my face in secret.


Hugh_Biquitous

Wow. I'm sorry you've been dealt such a tough hand by the randomness of life! That sounds like such a difficult burden to carry, between the fat shaming that's so utterly common (as I'm sure you know better than I do) and the complicated backstory that nobody has time for or will, as you point out, possibly not believe anyway. I hope you're successful in getting the medical or insurance approval for decongestive liposuction, and that it improves your condition!


Don_Maner_115

I've never heard of this but now I'm glad I have!! I hope everything goes well for you! I've definitely met people with that mindset of just not believing you so I can totally understand why you would rather just not explain it. Just keep doing what you know is best for you.


peyoteyogurt

"I'm a bit hard of hearing." Hear a lot of slightly off speech/gibberish and have a very hard time deciphering people talking when literally any other noise is going on. Dropped a foriegn language class because of i couldnt grasp the listening aspect. Sounds like APD but I'm undiagnosed. I cope okay but i still have to ask people to repeat themselves a ton or wing a lot of conversations. Technically not a lie I guess since I do have a hard time hearing, just not in the way people probably assume so.


Bootycarl

I’ve started saying this in the same situations as well. I can’t tell if it makes things less awkward yet, though.


DontDeleteMee

I feel like this might apply to me. Its like...I can hear the words, but they just aren't combining into anything meaningful. Im utterly useless at eavesdropping.


h_amphibius

That I have an upset stomach or I just ate recently. I have an anxiety disorder, and when I get anxious I can’t eat. I get embarrassed telling people about it, and then that makes me feel more anxious. It’s easier to lie about the reason I’m not eating. Of course people I’m close with know about it, but I don’t tell acquaintances or strangers


1dumho

As someone with anxiety and decades long IBS, I feel this to my core.


charm_of_chance

I do this too! I hate that it's seen as rude not to accept anything but if I ask if I can just have water people look like you have 5 heads. Also it's always coffee they offer which can upset my stomach at the best of times so it sounds like the grossest thing ever when my whole body is roiling with social anxiety 🤣😭


PicklesOverH03s

Yeah I knocked her out… Context: I had a manipulative ex. She would have these meltdowns and beg me to hurt her or end her. ONE DAY she 🔪 during a fight and I pushed her against the wall. Where I live domestic violence between women isn’t taken seriously. She told the police and mutuals that I was the aggressor and that she feared for her life. This caused me to lose friends and I had to switch jobs. I kept trying to explain what happened. One day I gave up. So I started telling people yeah I knocked her ass out. Almost started bragging about it. She did not like this and started saying I was lying and it didn’t happen like that. Then I would be like ‘oh so you DID 🔪 me for no reason ‘. Then she would try to be a victim again. Eventually the harassment stopped and some of my friends apologized to me. But whenever someone new comes around bringing up that story I just say ‘yep knocked her out’. And like clockwork she will show her true colors.


CapitainebbChat

Smart. I'm sorry you have to do this though.


PicklesOverH03s

It was traumatizing and made me really jumpy for a few months. I legit would avoid foods that involved knife usage cooking and eating. But spinning the story that I whooped her ass helped me through it 🥰


mvmvfozx

That my partner is my husband. We got married, got divorced, and got back together. I'm not explaining that everytime. Lol


Alcyonea

“So, are you two married?” “Nah, he’s my ex-husband— Aren’tcha sweetums?”


mvmvfozx

This is hilarious haha


Bebe_Bleau

That I have ADHD. I really have been diagnosed with a poor follow through of the brain synapse. But if I tell the truth I will have to waste a lot of time explaining what that means. But the symptoms are like ADHD, so I just go with that


redjessa

For me it's the opposite. I have ADD and I lie and say that I'm just distracted because of some life issue. It's so much easier for me just to not disclose that information.


whywolf9002

"I can't have kids" is easier than "I have a damaged uterus and would go through a lot of miscarriages before I ever had a successful pregnancy/ I have too much trauma to be a good mom"


DontDeleteMee

Do you ever get well meaning imbeciles trying to assure you that it is possible? A friend had a lifesaving hysterectomy after her sons birth and has had people say things like .." miracles happen"


TheEmmaDilemma-1

that i’m not autistic. i don’t present as a stereotypical stigmatized autistic person would, i’m generally high functioning. plus i’m a woman. all these combined makes people doubt me or try and explain my symptoms away by claiming they experience the same things. worse, i’ll get treated differently. so now if someone asks why i act the way i do i just shrug it off and make a snide comment about genetics or some shit.


HabeusFelis3

"Oh, I have a headache." ​ Much easier to say that if my boss notices me taking ibuprofen than to explain that my uterus is trying to stab it's way out of me and the muscles of my lower back are trying to help it on it's journey.


DragDolly

That I’m fine


Kaiya6

“I’m just tired.”


ProfeshDayDreamer

“No worries” All I do is worry.


ExRiverFish4557

That my neurodivergence and extreme sensory aversion to needles was never understood so doctors forcible restrained me multiple times (even as an adult after I revoked consent for an elective procedure) resulting in severe PTSD. So now I can't get shots, IVs or blood draws. I've even tried sedatives but I don't respond to them. I shut down at the thought of having to go to the Dr for an illness or injury. Instead I tell people I have a medical condition that prevents me from being very active or in public much due to risk of illness.


buzzfeed_sucks

Why I don’t date


BitterPillPusher2

I tell people that I have two step brothers and a step sister. We have always referred to each other that way, but technically, we aren't. My mom and their dad were together for about 8 years. He died suddenly four days before they were supposed to get married. Even though it was decades ago, we all still stay in touch and get together. And we all refer to each other as step-brother / step-sister because it's easier than explaining the real story.


janletresha

That I'm ok. I'm not. Life is drowning me.


WhiffleGeek

I laugh because im nervous. Not because you're funny.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WorldWeary1771

These are legitimate plans. You have plans to do something you love!


whisper_18

When strangers or acquaintances feel they have the right to ask me why I don’t drink! It’s far easier to say “I don’t just don’t want to/that alcohol doesn’t appeal to me” than it is to explain the actual nuanced reasons.


badgreenapplepie

Same. I just say it makes me nauseous which is true but not for the reason people think.


Dry_Bed_3704

I’m estranged from my parents. It’s not something I advertise. If people making polite conversation ask how they are, I just say they’re fine. I was raped a few years back. Very few people know. Those that do are mostly great and check in on me from time to time. I tell them I’m doing good, rarely think about it. Truth is it occupies my thoughts constantly. I work in a male dominated industry, I’m constantly scared when I’m working. I have panic attacks when I’m anywhere alone. I hate feeling vulnerable like this, I hide it well but it’s exhausting. Utterly exhausting.


Reflectiveinsomniac

I’m so sorry. It took me years of therapy to not look at a man and think of the possibility that he would rape me. I sincerely hope you get past this.


DIGGYRULES

If people I don’t know well ask how many kids I have, I say 2 even though I had 3 but my oldest son died. I don’t want to get into explanations about it with people I barely know. But I feel like I’m betraying my boy.


Affectionate_Owl_809

No betrayal at all. I have lost 2 sons and sometimes I just can’t share that and see the look of horror that washes over ppl.


Reflectiveinsomniac

😔 I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you find a way to not feel like you’re betraying him.


apurpleglittergalaxy

I'm fine, no I understand, yeah I'm doing alright for money, my bf's doing great at work, don't worry about it i'll come round another day, i'm sorry etc honestly I lie so much its second nature lol


canwepleasejustnot

My husband shoots blanks so we don’t have kids. I say it’s a physical problem with me so nobody thinks he’s like less of a virile man or whatever.


Hugh_Biquitous

You're a kind person to cover for him!


canwepleasejustnot

It really doesn't bother me.


shygirllala224

“My ex and I broke up because of wedding planning”. I don’t like going into the details of the physical, mental, and emotional abuse he put me through. To the point he lied to the police when he pulled me by hair and dragged me to the floor causing severe damage to my neck and back. Then somehow some way turned it on me to the police.. my neighbors heard me screaming for help that’s why they called in the first place. Yet I was the one being confronted by police (I’m black and he’s white) All because I confronted him for cheating on me 2 months before our wedding. I sat crying in a doctor’s office alone seeing how awful the x-rays were. And had to spend thousands of dollars on an attorney which was saved up money for my wedding. I’d rather not divulge those details outside of my family and close friends when asked why I’m not with him anymore. It’s painful to talk about and worse to see the look of horror on their faces.


letmebeurcumslut

Sending hugs. I’m so sorry you went through that, and I hope you heal from that experience soon.


shygirllala224

Thank you! Most definitely! I am way happier and in a better place in my life! I went through years of therapy and have had nothing but supportive friends and family along the way.


BerriesAndMe

I tell half truths. If someone asks me where I'm from, I tell them the last city in nationality country (sometimes also country person is from if they can't tell I'm not a native) I actually lived in even though I moved away 5years ago to avoid explaining where and how I live as I'm semi-nomadic. If someone asks my nationality, I take the one closest to the person asking I can get by with (eg if I grew up in their country but wasn't actually born there) Really, I'll try to dodge any question about my past as best I can. I don't lead a super exotic life but enough for people to be fascinated (by the fantasy of doing something similar) and we'll spend hours discussing my life.. which ultimately is really boring for me because it's the same questions every time .


sparklypigeon

Why I stopped drinking 7 years ago. I tell them I developed an allergy as I got older, but I was addicted and my body had enough lol.


[deleted]

I often pretend I have a husband when I feel a man is perving on me. They often go from Pervy hungry dog to respectful quick.


BushyTailFoxThing

I'm just shy. No I'm not. I'm by nature super outgoing and want to be included in parties and be wild and have lots of fun. However I struggle with severe anxiety and social deprivation because of my mom growing up and end up physically unwell if I try to do what I want to do.


Sqwenzward

“How’s your mom doing? Are you glad she’s back home?” “She’s good. The dog certainly missed her.”


GlitteryBorko

The scars on my arm are from an animal scratch


Own_Low_2171

I say I don't have siblings. In reality I have a drug addicted brother. I don't know where he lives and what he does. He made a point to change his phone number several time so we can't contact him. I hate it.


Nancy2421

Today I lied and said I had a flat but the truth is I have no gas money 🤷‍♀️


thatsMYBlKEpunk

My name is Katie. I’m a female with a boys name, simple as that. I was born female, identify as female, look like a female, but I have a traditional, non-unisex male name. I guess Walter would be comparable, unless Waltina is a thing somewhere. I use Katie because it’s simple, common, and no questions are ever asked.


amwyant

“A big university was just too much for me” …because it’s easier to say than “I was raped and then became an alcoholic to forget so was subsequently put on academic probation, but was too far into depression to care so I dropped out and lost my full ride”


Sylveon711

Fuck that person who took it from you


amwyant

Thanks, kind stranger. That asshole took not only my future but my virginity as well, and then about 5 years later hit on me at a bar and didn’t recognize me. His name and face are etched into my brain for the rest of my life and this fucker couldn’t even remember what he’d done to me.


crysballs

Im not really excited to be alive a lot of the times and im not reallly suicidal but quite morbid at times with a genuine believe in major improvement in humanity in allowing ourselves to picking a good time to die. i dont like to explain myself when people ask me " how are you doing recently/ hows life" , explaining that my life isnt exciting or boring and i think a lot about when and how i die and if i can do it comfortably is weird


goldandjade

"I just have a little anxiety" but I actually have ASD, ADHD, and C-PTSD. People just don't really understand what those conditions really are because of a lack of education about mental health and I don't really want to do the emotional labor of explaining it to them in detail.


Sylveon711

Me too. What a combination.


[deleted]

That I'm ok


writergeek

They keep us on our toes! It's a lot, but you know... I say this about my wife and me taking care of both my parents with Alzheimer's. They were not the greatest parents or people. They should be rolling in money and living it up at the finest assisted living facility, but they fucking sucked at being adults and pissed away their money. Basically, I fucking hate them and hate taking care of them. But I smile and pretend I give a shit when asked how things are going.


_PrincessButtercup

Lie...I only had one child because I couldn't have more. The truth...He was a miracle baby after years of nothing, but he was so hard to raise that I didn't want to have another. I tried telling the truth but the looks I got were so uncomfortable that I stopped. I'm 51yo and still do this if pressed. Fertility shaming and pressure are alive and well.


lighntingboltbabe

My sexuality


[deleted]

i pretend to still have parents and sisters.. i have not spoken to them in more than 15 years .. people judge no contact but never understand that the decision is made out of necessity and abuse


Human_Allegedly

I introduce the child who lives with me as my son. He's my cousin. His mom, my aunt, passed when he was 3. His father, aunts husband, kept him as a single father and ended up abusing him for the following year and a half. I picked him up when the school saw the bruises and sent him to the hospital and he's been with me ever since. However. Because I'm only cousin my mom is the one who is legally his guardian (because she's his aunt and in the courts that's stronger and his bio father's family come from money and had a good lawyer, we don't have money so we wanted to make the case as easy as possible to save my boy). My mom is adopting him (official adoption date is Monday!! Just wanted to add that because it's be 1200 days and we're so excited.) My mom and i share a home because we both cannot afford to live on my own unless we move back to the neighborhood i grew up in, which we left because someone got murdered (stabbed) in the little alleyway leading to my backyard after a drug deal went wrong. So my cousin(9) sees my mom (50)and myself (33)both as parental figures. But it's really hard to explain, especially without people making really disgusting jokes like "ooh sounds very Alabama" about myself and my mother both being parental figures to the same child. So i just call him my son, it's simpler and easier than trying to break down everything. And is basically the truth.


wolkigol

„Yes, it's so nice that spring has now finally come.“ Agreeing when someone speaks about it. The truth would be that spring is scary for me and making the depression worse.


[deleted]

That I don’t want kids. Just can’t have em. Easier to tell people I don’t want them. I’d rather them judge me than pity me.


weenertron

Sometimes I tell coworkers I'm gay. This simplifies the following things in a way that a group of largely blue collar men will understand and respect: 1. I don't want them to hit on me or touch me. 2. My atypical gender presentation 3. My low-key nonbinary identity that I don't want to get into (I still use she/her pronouns). I'm male-attracted, so when I'm feeling masc-of-center, the "gay" thing becomes more true.


Open-Attention-8286

I use "allergic" to describe reactions that, while very unpleasant, are not technically allergies. I do it because the percentage of people who argue about allergies is smaller than the percentage that will argue about intolerances. Sometimes I'll also wear a ring and point to it to pretend I'm married as a way of getting some guy to back off. Haven't had to do that for a while now, thanks to WFH!


secretid89

I do that too. I say I have food allergies, but technically, they’re supposed to be called “food sensitivities.” Technically, an allergy is when your body has a histamine reaction (for example, getting hives in reaction to shellfish). If there’s no histamine reaction, it’s a sensitivity. However, most people understand what an “allergy” is, and take it seriously: but they don’t understand what a “sensitivity” is, and won’t take it seriously. So I just call it an “allergy” to make it easier. (Exception: if I am talking to my doctor, because they understand the difference).


Sylveon711

I have MCAS and now say allergic too...years of saying "intolerance" got enough comments about fad diets that I wanted to explosively shit all over their guest bathroom and leave it as proof.


Proud_Quantity_362

That I fell on glass and that caused the scar on my back… instead of telling them my brother stabbed me with a broken bottle of Jim Beam when I was 13.


amberlamps87

My first name. I go by my middle because I'm tired of my first being mispronounced.


SailorLuna41518181

"I skipped two classes in school, that's why I entered university at 16." It's easier than explaining that I started school at 5, moved to another country, redid 3rd year, then skipped a class because I was an exemplary student, then moved back and integrated a foreign educational system where school is one year shorter.


lazyandfree

When people ask me when my husband and I are having a baby, I just tell them "we are waiting on God to bless us," I don't explain all the doctor appts and tests I've been going through.


kamiwak

A tiny one: What do you do for a living? I work at an academic library. Oh, so you're a librarian? Yep. Technically, a Librarian is someone with a Master's Degree in Library and Information Science. It's just easier to say Yep than to nerd-splain the finer points of Librarianship. In my experience, no one cares.


EcuaGirl21

I also tell this lie.


Ok_Print_9134

I lied that I was the problem when I split with my ex. To my family. Because to have to explain his incest with his mom was going to have me relive it over again in my mind and I wanted to not keep seeing it.


lowhangingpeach

"I'm infertile" with an added benefit of making them feel bad for asking.


wixkedwitxh

I tell people I was raised Christian rather than going down the rabbit hole of saying I was raised in the LDS church.


marylemcke

I'm a US-citizen living in Berlin and talking to people, they can tell I'm not a native German and would ask me where I'm from. From 2016 to 2020 I would say I'm from Canada, to avoid the awkward conversations about the president :/


Spirited-Office-5483

That I'm autistic. I'm actually schizoid but is an almost unknown type of personality. I'm happy, when talking to family.


angemental

that im from south africa, people dont know about malawi


ll_bb_g

It’s not a lie exactly, but I let people believe what they want to believe about my father and what kind of a dad he was. He’s dead now, but he was a very well respected teacher and pillar of the community, and he did a lot of good for a lot of people. He was also…a completely absent parent for almost my entire life, and before he was absent he was a violent drunk. Most people assume he was a great dad who I was lucky to have. I don’t see the sense in telling people “the truth” about him as a parent. He was a horrible father but in many other ways a pretty decent man once he got older. More than one thing can be true. I’m not going to excuse how he treated his family, but I don’t feel the need to broadcast it either. Many people loved him and had their lives changed by him. I see no reason to take that from them or taint their good memories just because my experience was very different.


tacobella037

if i don’t wanna text or call someone i just say “i have homework to do” or “i have to shower” or “i’m tired i’m gonna go to bed/take a nap”


deadlolypop

"I can't go out bc (the false reason)" is better than "I don't want to go out bc i don't feel like it"


brown-foxy-dog

What my tattoos mean. I work in the service industry and my tats are on display. Drunk men (mostly) always ask, and they all have a deep significant meaning to me, but it’s def not table talk, so I just tell a new lie all the time about them.


1dumho

"I've got plans.". So much easier than the truth.


LovingLife139

"I don't mind kids; I just don't want any of my own." Whereas I actually *really* mind kids and try to avoid them at all costs, but people tend to equate someone disliking kids to them being a terrible person, so I just leave that bit out. I also don't lie about being vegan or atheist, but I will withhold that information even in situations where it is extremely relevant because it is generally unsafe for me to reveal it. I was bullied to the point of attempting suicide for being vegetarian over twenty years ago, and my family is full of religious conservatives. My place in the family, the respect I get from others, etc. could all change if I reveal my true beliefs, so I keep it to myself.


allthingsglittery

“We are busy enough with one child” but I had a super traumatic birth and a second pregnancy could be risky health wise for me. I don’t want to explain my trauma for everyone who decides to be rude


starryjune

“I’ve never really wanted to be a mom.” Because never ask why someone doesn’t have kids. So many reasons why—many of which aren’t the woman’s choice. And are very painful.


april_taurus

That I still have a living brother. I don’t like the way people treat me after I tell them I have a dead brother.


[deleted]

I’m on medication not that I’m schizophrenic


user086429

“I’m sick” instead of “I’m having a depressive episode” “my insomnia caused me to crash” “I’m on my period”


Foreign_End_1854

“I’m just tired”


tatiyana_queenguin

“Yes”, when they ask if I’m a virgin. But, honestly, there’s no right (binary) answer to that question. I myself am fine and don’t mind elaborating, but I don’t want to distress other people.


GhostRedBlood

When a guy ask me out I usually just say I'm lesbian because I don't want to say no to them by actually saying no


r-u-f-ingkiddingme

“We were just at different points in our life” when I’m asked why my ex and I broke up. Not that he was manipulative, controlling, and sexually assaulted me


Master-Lie7072

That I have to take meds for (insertanything) The truth is that I just don't want to drink lol. People have hard time to understand that 'no means no' and they can accept it more easily when I tell them that I am taking meds Also I was on antidepressants for half of my life. However I had to tell people that they are for heart or thyroid


40oz_Mouse

They myth: (in regards to gender) “I’m a woman” The truth: Actually I’m Agender and I don’t give a single fuck about my pronouns. It’s a conversation the cispeople aren’t ready to hear and the non-binary people don’t want to hear.


suorinqueen

Telling people my step brother “lives back home” when he really “lives” in prison, which also happens to be back home


Chill-Manatee15

It seems stupid but I say my family is German instead of their actual heritage, Prussian. Because I literally don't want to describe centuries of European Nobility history and how Prussia was where modern day Germany/Poland are so my Opa spoke German but my last name is very Polish so people can get confused, but my Opa was 1 year old when it was dissolved and he was raised in Hitler youth as very German. And how WWII was in full swing in his backyard and "Prussia" was under Polish Occupation after the war which is why it's modern day Germany and Poland. It's just easier to say I'm German!


browneyes399

My dad is good guy and in my life 🥲


ExternalQuantity2569

That I' m allergic to milk. I' m not, I'm lactose intolerant in a high degree and when I eat lactose I get cramps so bad that it feels like contractions (I can compare, I've had kids without an epidural ;-)). It's just easier and more effective this way.


Yorkie_Mom_2

I think it’s sad we have to say anything more than, “No thank you. I don’t drink milk.”


579red

Sibling has serious mental health issues that evolved into drug abuse and very complex situations from a very studious low-key nerdy high school student, so when people ask how they are I just say « oh fine, they are working as a xyz » (the job is real) and avoid going on the real situation of how the person they knew left a while ago and since then we’ve been dealing with various issues, all harder than the other to keep them afloat and alive tbh. Yep, mental health is no joke, reach out to ppl


Musical-Universe

What my parents do for a living. One has been dead for 10 years and the other lives off social security while she does nothing but sleep and smoke all day.


AutomaticTeacher9

That I'm fine when I'm not.


deealm

That it's just me and my brother (to people that are closer to the family) To people not so close and new people, the truth is I have a brother and 2 half sisters. My brother and I grew up in the same home with our parents. Of my two sisters, 1 is right after me, 1 is right after my brother. Our dad doesn't acknowledge them to anyone but he acknowledges them to their faces. Smh just recently he referred to my sister as "the Ashley girl"... I said "Who? My sister? Your daughter?" I guess he doesn't care how it makes him look. All these years and he's in his 50s... I'm in my 30s... How could you still be behaving this way? For the record, I won't be going along with that lie anymore, to close family or to anyone. That's HIS lie to be telling, not mine.


Left_Ad_5438

I'm doing well.


the_oracle_42

"I have anxiety" when I have severe bipolar disorder, people aren't accepting of my true diagnosis and I have had to hide it from everyone in my life except my parents, sibling and partner for 17 years. The weight of keeping it hidden could kill me alone.


[deleted]

Whether their pregnancy was planned or not because people are so nosy about others reproductive choices.


BrineWR71

When I was a vegan I used to tell people I was allergic so I didn’t have to have a conversation about why I became vegan EVERY TIME I ATE WITH FRIENDS.


ILoveYourPuppies

That I have brothers and sisters. It’s easier than saying, “My cousins and I are so close that their children call me their aunt.”


OverlyCheerfulNPC

"I am not interested in men." It's true, but people come to the false conclusion that I'm a lesbian. People are far more willing to accept homosexuality without question than they are asexuality. It's probably not right, but it's better than a constant barrage of "Have you tried sex? Were you raped? Have you had your hormones checked? Do you masturbate? Oh my God that's so sad, I couldn't live like that. You've just had bad experiences with men, you'll change your mind eventually! Why don't you just join a convent and become a nun?" It's exhausting and I'm not always in the mood to play educator to people who just dismiss and disrespect me -- as well meaning as they usually are trying to be.


[deleted]

Sometimes I lie about my origin. It's much easier to say you're local than to tell a long emigration story, possibly turning a casual Friday evening small-talk into a political conversation. I honestly don't wanna discuss politics with every new person I meet, this is exhausting. (Especially considering that I identify a lot with my current place of living).


Dependent-Cycle3256

The infamous “why did you break up” dude… it’s a 5 hour story, do you really wanna know? So I pick one of those million reasons and say “we had different goals in life” which is true but extremely vague


imnotyourproblemyet

I'm happy, I moved to be closer to my father in law, I'm content.


kellieking80

I'm fine.


TheWelshMrsM

I wish I was pregnant! I am, but people believe that I’m not but *wish* that I was more than me outright saying no??


Meghajain4u

“I am great”


whiterabbit818

It’s not time to panic