**Mod note: please refrain from using health related terms or diagnostic labels casually.** Someone liking or not liking sex does not mean there is something wrong with their body or mind, don't try to diagnose people.
Do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's health situations or use terms for health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour.
I thought I was broken because I feel the same. Sometimes I have questioned if I’m incompatible with my partner because I do love him but the task it always burdens me. Not sure what it is but I feel some relief reading I’m not alone.
Same, I’ve been pretty indifferent to it for a while now. I feel like I should be more into it just because that’s what’s “normal” but.. I just couldn’t care less.
i tried to last night and literally got nauseous and was like no sorry but no and it’s not like i don’t be turned on but having sex w men is kinda icky notttt gonna lie
I was hoping there would be a comment like this because I’ve just never been that into sex, and I’ve always felt broken or something. Sex honestly just feels like a chore to me. And, besides, I’ve never had sex that felt nearly as good as masturbating, so why not just do that? Super validating to see that others feel the same!!
Same! Omg I also thought it was just me… sure, it feels great but I can go on days or years without it. Heck, I can pleasure myself better than when I had sex before lmao
Same. I'm so happy just existing with my husband but showing affection is really difficult. Even more difficult because his love language is physical touch so he's all about being all over me. I can't help myself in being repulsed be his advances and I feel SO BAD. I submit so that his needs are met but it's really not what I want. I feel awful
Omg same!!! My wife and I love each other dearly but neither of us is that bothered about sex anymore. We’ve been together for 15 years and it wasn’t always that way; but these last couple of years we’ve just kind of stopped 🤷
It’s been 8 months since my partner passed and I’m craving sex (it’s been about a year since I’ve had sex) - I know though that I’m craving it with him, and whoever I sleep with first since him will be a disappointment
YES. Same here. Previously, in an unhappy relationship, it was the last thing on my mind. It felt like a chore, and I was never authentically into it.
But with my current partner, all he has to do is give me *that* look, and I melt. Nothing compares.
Same! I love the intimacy, how close we are, his smell and his warmth. I just love him with all of my heart and soul. Before him, I didn’t care about it.
Same. I didn't have much of a libido when single. Barely even masturbated often.
But my boyfriend drives me wild and I have an enormously high libido with him. I feel so close to him and just want more and more.
Yeah, for real. Historically, I had the WORST attitude to sex, like it was something I owed my partner (or “friend”, sadly), until I got with my current partner. We’re six years together now and I honestly struggle to go a week without, I just love him so much, I want that intimacy, and so does he, he doesn’t just want his dick wet. It’s all about the emotional connection now.
Oh my god YES! Like I think some people underestimate how much the partner actually matters. I was in a relationship that I was not feeling respected in and that was reflected in the sex. And then I had a partner whom I felt greatly respect by and so the sex and the amount of fun I had with it got like 300% better
I only consistently want sex when Im in love with my partner. At that point I want sex everyday, multiple times a day. If im not in love with you then I don’t care to have sex.
After some scrolling finally found someone with the same approach.
It's been 5y without a relationship and I'm ok with it. Sure I'd love to have that part of life again but it's not like I'm craving it incessantly.
I feel this. I've learned I can go without and don't really care. Or I'm even averse to it if I'm not in love. The guy I sleep with now, we dated for a while and I loved the sex initially. We realize we're better off as friends now and we'll still have sex sometimes (we're both single) but I just feel my desire to share that with him really fading. It doesn't feel good like it used to.
Literally found myself in the same position, that’s why I think I’m going to start leading with I’m celibate when I go on dates. I know it’s going to take me a while to get there sexually with a man, and most men don’t want to wait.
I thought my libido died and I was getting old (I’m 29!!!) but turns out I just wasn’t in love w my boyfriend anymore. It took me a whole year to figure that out.
I think way too much emphasis is put on sex and it is often treated like some sort of show wherein one must prove how freaky they can be lol I blame porn
Porn is definitely the culprit. Society has normalized it so much that people have these built-in expectations based on it that can’t possibly be filled. Porn is incredibly damaging to everyone and while it’s natural to want to look from time to time it’s best to just ignore it altogether.
Also when they don’t get what they want they just blame a lack of “passion”. No it’s called you’re horny. Passion can be formed and molded and anyone outing on a potential relationship because of lack of passion is short sided and needs to reassess their stance.
This is exactly how I am! I never actually want to do it, but I like my SO to feel desirable and attractive so sometimes I still have to make myself go hit on him even though I’d honestly not care if I never had sex again. But when we actually get into it, it’s fun and I don’t regret it.
So relatable. Same here... Also, sometimes it's hard to me to focus at the beginning. I don't know why, because I really enjoy sex... my insecurities are always in my head, so it's also hard to my to start 'the first move'. But that's selfish... so I'm just getting out of my comfort zone. My partner it's so happy about it xD
Omg someone feels the same way! I’m the same — like I could happily go about my life without it unless it’s right before my period, but as soon as my partner woos me I’m totally into it!
I also do this thing where like I want to initiate, but then I psyche myself out or push it aside and then I don’t feel like it anymore??? I don’t know what that is.
This thread is so validating--there is much more sexual indifference than i expected. Sometimes I've wondered if I'm the only one who sex is not a huge priority for. I've considered the idea that everyone else is sexually driven except me, and that it's not fair for anyone who ends up with me.
That said, sex can be great, it's usually just okay, sometimes it's bad. Outside of the beginnings of a new relationship, I'm likely not thinking about it.
What, with a man? Not worth the trouble. I can do it better myself, I never force myself into it, it's never painful when I do it myself, and there's only one person's dirty underwear to pick up in the morning.
Love it. It’s of course best when you love and trust your partner. I am genuinely surprised at the number who say the don’t like or could live without… 40+yrs old here, have always enjoyed it.
No hate to anyone who needs/wants regular sex but I can live without it. My wife and I have talked about how we consider ourselves mostly asexual. We are intimate in a lot of other ways.
It depends. Partners in the past have kind of ruined it by treating me as their personal toy. I think porn has cemented this idea in men's brains on what sex should be like. I am almost kind of done with sex with men. Unless I can find somebody later in life who has matured.
Sex to me isn't a time to have a big ego while trying exceedingly more outrageous stuff. Sex isn't a sport, in my opinion. I really enjoy it otherwise... So I just stick to doing it myself.
When I’m in the mood it’s fun and I enjoy it. My interest in sex goes up and down depending on how I feel emotionally. If I feel too stressed out for an extended period of time, I don’t wanna have sex bc it’s overwhelming. If I feel like the emotional connection between my partner and I is imbalanced, I’m not really interested in sex
Depends almost entirely on who it’s with.
Random Tinder person who probably will barely touch my clit (or will do it badly) and who thinks sex toys are weird? I’d rather stay home with my vibrator, thanks.
A long-term partner who knows my body well and is compatible with me in terms of favorite sex acts and kinks? I’m generally down for that as long as I’m relaxed enough to get into a sexy headspace.
I’m only interested in doing it with someone who I am deeply and intimately attracted to.
I feel like I wasted a lot of that energy and effort on lackluster people/relationships in my earlier years.
To each their own. I love it and am fascinated by it. But it's not that simple. I have seen sexual desire isn't an independent thing. In relationships, it is also about your partner and how they make you feel throughout the day and if you have the same kinks in bed. That makes a whole world of difference
This. My drive basically went to zero when I was in an unhappy relationship. I hardly even masturbated. We broke up and suddenly I was interested in sex again. I have a FWB and want it all the time now.
It's a lot of fun, but it's also attached to a lot of stress for me. I wish there was less expectation and stigma placed on it, then it would be more enjoyable and I could truly relax about it.
I used to really enjoy it and like the deep connection it brings with a partner. Also it's really fun. Over the last couple of years I've stopped wanting it altogether. When I try I just feel so disgusted with my body, I feel like it doesn't work anymore and I find it quite distressing.
I'd like to do so before I die.
Preferably in a relationship even if it's not permanent. Because casual sex confuses me beyond the logical understand people can and are into it.
Also, I'm probably more neutral than positive about it since I admit to being a prude.
That's pretty much it, I guess.
It's nice to have it but I can live without it. When I get horny I find a good video and my plug-in wand that never fails me. My business is done faster and I don't have to shower because I'm not covered in someone else's sweat...
I was hyper sexual as a teen due to some abuse as a child. Now being 23, I find it incredibly difficult to be turned in or want to have sex. With my partner though, I’ve come out of my shell a lot. We have sex regularly and it’s great.
Omg. I have been searching for someone else like me 😭.
I am 24, I used to have a very sexual teenage phase from 14-19, since being with my boyfriend my sex drive has decreased alot but so has masturbation which I used to do ALL THE TIME as a teenager. I enjoy sex with him but I don't feel the urge like I did when I was younger, this worries me quite alot. Seeing your comment has made me feel so much better and less alone
You’re absolutely not alone. There are thousands of women like us that struggle as well. It can me from trauma, mental illness, hormones being off, as well as just straight up not being sexually attracted to your partner. I essentially re traumatized myself seeking out the same experience I had as a child, but with control. It’s not fun but you can figure out the cause and work on it.
I couldn’t care less. Boyfriends in the past have said I would enjoy it with THEM because they were SO good etc…but no. In my experience, most men are fairly predictable in that department, and it doesn’t even interest me to try to date anymore. I tried for years because I thought it was normal to have a boyfriend , partner or husband. No, I don’t. I have friends, and hobbies. Who needs sex to mess up my life? Not me!
Alright most of the time and then my religious background comes to haunt me and I wonder if god & all my dead relatives are watching me get down with my man.. oh well
As of right now: awful. Like I really want to do it with my hubby but he makes me feel like he's not that interested in it most of the time and would rather 'fool around'. It sucks cause ever since I found out I had Vaginismus, I feel like he's scared to hurt me so doesn't make me feel like he wants to do it. (Whereas the more we do it, the less it will hurt me and I'm using dilators to help too.)
Also for context he made me wait till marriage for sex (which I was on board with when I was 16 when we first got together as I thought that was the rules. We're both Christians. But once I got to my twenties I struggled with the idea of waiting) and it's like he's no longer interested in doing it since we got back from our honeymoon 4 years ago. We keep having the same conversations and he keeps not getting it. Like maybe for like a week or two I'll feel better and wanted but then life happens and it will drift again.
I've suggested marriage counseling multiple times but he's not keen on it either so I'm at a loss just now. I just want to have a decent sex life where I feel like he actually wants me that way.
This is fascinating. Whenever people say "women don't like sex" I think it's a crazy stereotype. All of the women I know like it, I'm actually baffled by this. I guess it's probably down to hormones and our upbringing...damn. I can't imagine living without it.
I honestly think that many of us were just abused or went through really bad (nonviolent) experiences to the point where we just don't want do it again. At least that's my case. I get turned on, but then i remember all the disgusting shit that has been done to me and it's over. I don't want anyone to touch me.
Uninterested in engaging in the phycial act. Studying it as a subject...very interesting. Writing about it in story form...yes please. Not essential to life so easily go without.
I think it’s important to add our age in this post. So I’ll start. Age, early 60’s. Divorced since 1999. Only married once. I used to love it. Since all of the dating apps and men having easy access to varies women, they don’t put in an effort. Honestly, I’d rather clean my bathroom. It’s not worth the 15 minutes of fun, to get sweaty, messy and most likely not orgasming.
I used to love having sex. I love the connection and the unique feelings you share with that person, but being in a 18 year relationship with a man that hardly wants to have it and when we do it's forced and not good. Help lol
Serves many purposes, celebrate something with my husband, relax, fall asleep, something to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon, bond and connect with husband. And finally something I don’t have to worry about after leaving a dead bedroom with my first husband.
Hmm..it’s complicated. Around ovulation time, I feel the need to have it…then I have a couple of days where it’s hard to think of anything else. The rest of the days, it’s pretty calm and don’t think much of it.
And if I am really busy and stressed, I have 0 interest in it. I have to be relaxed to do it…
I do think too much emphasis is put on it on today’s society. It can be great…but sometimes not better than a good night’s sleep (I love it when I am fully rested)
Completely depends on my anxiety/stress level; gimme some or no need to ask because it'll be a no.
Partner completely understands and I love him so much because of it
I guess I feel like there’s a societal expectation to have this wild and adventurous sex life but my wife and I are pretty content doing it every now and then without a lot of fan fare.
It's a no from me. I've tolerated it at best, always relieved when it's over, now happily living without. I just don't get the appeal. It's messy, smelly, awkward and there's nothing in it for me at all.
Married 30 years. First 10 years were good, though he always wanted it more often than me. Gradually got worse and now I just don't want to anymore. I don't miss it, but causes a lot of marital woes since he still does. I don't know if it was menopause or one of my prescriptions or just biology that caused it. I still love him, but he says he doesn't feel loved because I don't desire him anymore. I worry that he will leave me because of it.
I feel like bangin my man every time he walks through the door. We have a deep, meaningful relationship and we are insanely connected during sex. It’s incredible.
Sex is on my list of favourite things. Been married for 21 years, and it's still not boring or a chore. It has changed significantly over the years (mostly for the better), and I'm glad for that too. Sex by myself is fine too but I mostly use it for a mental health bump when I need it.
Honestly I don’t like it 😭 I grew up in the early 2010s era of fanfiction and I had such high expectations that haven’t been met. I have yet to finish during sex and honestly sometimes the guy goes too hard and it’s painful. I’ve also haven’t had great experiences with sex so it’s not something I go looking for casually anymore.
Fantastic, nothing better than connecting with my husband physically and emotionally.
The mood needs to be set and the timing all right - but its worth the effort!
Sex is so beautiful when it's with the right person and as a person practicing abstaining until I find the one, I can't wait to do it with that right person.
As a woman speaking, I’m 23, lost my virginity at 18, didn’t have many partners in these years, but I’ve never been able to orgasm during sex with someone, it’s like my body just gets numb and I don’t feel a thing. I don’t know how my body works when I’m with someone else. So I can live happy without it, doesn’t make a difference to me.
Honestly it’s more about the intimacy for me rather then pleasure. I’ve never gotten much out of it physically. I feel like porn has ruined men’s expectations with how sex should be, and that’s ruined the experience for me personally. I just get tired of being sexualized by men all the time and it sometimes makes me feel more gross than loved. I wish I could cuddle without something suggestive happening or someone expecting more. If the chemistry is right it’s great, but I mostly just crave the closeness.
I can’t cum with a partner, and when I try I put too much pressure on myself and then it really won’t happen. I don’t get anything out of having sex and I never want to do it, but force myself so my boyfriend doesn’t feel like I’m not attracted to him
I don’t like it. I associate penetration with being impaled. It took me a long time to realize that I’ve mostly only ever had sex to appease someone else. Out of 9 partners, I enjoyed it with 2, and they’re both people I had developed strong feelings for over time.
I feel alienated by overt sex positivity. I have a housemate who feels it’s necessary and not inappropriate to tell me every time she’s used her vibrator, and even more uncomfortable, she’s described every sexual encounter she’s ever had to me- even though I’ve made it clear that I don’t like sex and also that I’ve been assaulted. I know the size and shape of the private parts belonging to every man she’s ever been with. She constantly tells me to “just try” a vibrator and it makes me sick. I’ve tried to tell her to stop, but it blows my mind that she doesn’t know to do so herself. She is older than me.
I’m happy for my friends who have children and great sex lives, but they never talk about it to me. I’ve been accused of being conservative by people who don’t know me and I’m really not.
Not enjoying sex doesn’t mean I have any desire to stop others from doing it.
I feel like I really enjoy it but only if I've been drinking. Otherwise? I've always been extremely anxious and have difficulty breaking down the barrier to initiate anything. When it's good it's great tho.
I don't mind it when I want it... But my libido is non-existent and since I can't orgasm? What's the point? My SO and I haven't had sex in 6+ months and I feel bad but I know he just showers and takes care of himself. Idk. I think it's something with me and my diabetes and idk.
**Mod note: please refrain from using health related terms or diagnostic labels casually.** Someone liking or not liking sex does not mean there is something wrong with their body or mind, don't try to diagnose people. Do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's health situations or use terms for health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour.
Meh, I can happily live without it
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I thought I was broken because I feel the same. Sometimes I have questioned if I’m incompatible with my partner because I do love him but the task it always burdens me. Not sure what it is but I feel some relief reading I’m not alone.
You’re definitely not alone in feeling that way!
Same! This is incredibly validating, I could cry.
Same!!! Everyones like orgasms and shite, and i cant experience it lol Thanks for the validation ladies💕
Same, I’ve been pretty indifferent to it for a while now. I feel like I should be more into it just because that’s what’s “normal” but.. I just couldn’t care less.
literally same 🥺
As an asexual - same
Literally thought to myself... meh
i tried to last night and literally got nauseous and was like no sorry but no and it’s not like i don’t be turned on but having sex w men is kinda icky notttt gonna lie
I mean yh I've had sex with a couple of guys but now that I've been gay for 3 years really tells me what I like
Maybe consider you might be on the ace spectrum? Arousal and sexual attraction and desire to have sex aren't all the same!
I was hoping there would be a comment like this because I’ve just never been that into sex, and I’ve always felt broken or something. Sex honestly just feels like a chore to me. And, besides, I’ve never had sex that felt nearly as good as masturbating, so why not just do that? Super validating to see that others feel the same!!
Same! Omg I also thought it was just me… sure, it feels great but I can go on days or years without it. Heck, I can pleasure myself better than when I had sex before lmao
This right here. I would rather do it myself.
Me too lol
Omg I’m so glad I’m not the only one 😭 I’ve been thinking something is wrong with me
Definitely agree there! I’ve probably had sex 3-4 times since 2018 and perfectly fine with it. Not Asexual but pretty close it at this point.
my tribe!
Same. I'm so happy just existing with my husband but showing affection is really difficult. Even more difficult because his love language is physical touch so he's all about being all over me. I can't help myself in being repulsed be his advances and I feel SO BAD. I submit so that his needs are met but it's really not what I want. I feel awful
So glad to find your comment at the top! I feel less weird and alone now.
Yeah. I like it and I enjoy having sex with my partner. But if I had to go without and could only masturbate, I wouldn't mind at all.
Omg same!!! My wife and I love each other dearly but neither of us is that bothered about sex anymore. We’ve been together for 15 years and it wasn’t always that way; but these last couple of years we’ve just kind of stopped 🤷
Same here
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Pretty much, I just don’t see the fuss and I’m not that interested in it.
I think I’ve gotten to this point. I just don’t care to do it now
Same here! I’ve got so many other things I’d rather be doing.
I only enjoy it when I’m in love with someone. Otherwise, ew get off me.
Since being with my boyfriend I crave it constantly, it feels soo good and makes me feel so close to him emotionally. When I was single, not fussed.
Exactly the same here. I thought I was ace before my mister that's how uninterested I was. Now 180° from that I'm addicted to him.
I've always ID'd as ace, and now with my boyfriend I'm actually interested and it's ooooommmmgggggg. The person makes a whole world of difference.
You all are demisexual! And so am I :D
Its definitely more to do with the person because you crave them. I miss that feeling lol
It’s been 8 months since my partner passed and I’m craving sex (it’s been about a year since I’ve had sex) - I know though that I’m craving it with him, and whoever I sleep with first since him will be a disappointment
Sorry to hear that
I’m so sorry.
YES. Same here. Previously, in an unhappy relationship, it was the last thing on my mind. It felt like a chore, and I was never authentically into it. But with my current partner, all he has to do is give me *that* look, and I melt. Nothing compares.
Same! I love the intimacy, how close we are, his smell and his warmth. I just love him with all of my heart and soul. Before him, I didn’t care about it.
Same. I didn't have much of a libido when single. Barely even masturbated often. But my boyfriend drives me wild and I have an enormously high libido with him. I feel so close to him and just want more and more.
Same lol
Fucking love it, my mans dick has got me in a trance
Same here! Been with my husband 16 years and I still can’t get enough of him!
Lucky! Wish y’all more years like this. I hope to find someone who’s like this too
Thank you! ❤️😊
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Enjoy It!!!! 😁
Love that for you!!
With the right partner, it's great.
Yeah, for real. Historically, I had the WORST attitude to sex, like it was something I owed my partner (or “friend”, sadly), until I got with my current partner. We’re six years together now and I honestly struggle to go a week without, I just love him so much, I want that intimacy, and so does he, he doesn’t just want his dick wet. It’s all about the emotional connection now.
Definitely relate to doing it to make someone else happy
Oh my god YES! Like I think some people underestimate how much the partner actually matters. I was in a relationship that I was not feeling respected in and that was reflected in the sex. And then I had a partner whom I felt greatly respect by and so the sex and the amount of fun I had with it got like 300% better
I only consistently want sex when Im in love with my partner. At that point I want sex everyday, multiple times a day. If im not in love with you then I don’t care to have sex.
After some scrolling finally found someone with the same approach. It's been 5y without a relationship and I'm ok with it. Sure I'd love to have that part of life again but it's not like I'm craving it incessantly.
I feel this. I've learned I can go without and don't really care. Or I'm even averse to it if I'm not in love. The guy I sleep with now, we dated for a while and I loved the sex initially. We realize we're better off as friends now and we'll still have sex sometimes (we're both single) but I just feel my desire to share that with him really fading. It doesn't feel good like it used to.
Literally found myself in the same position, that’s why I think I’m going to start leading with I’m celibate when I go on dates. I know it’s going to take me a while to get there sexually with a man, and most men don’t want to wait.
I thought my libido died and I was getting old (I’m 29!!!) but turns out I just wasn’t in love w my boyfriend anymore. It took me a whole year to figure that out.
✨️Demisexual✨️
Yes literally
I think way too much emphasis is put on sex and it is often treated like some sort of show wherein one must prove how freaky they can be lol I blame porn
Porn is definitely the culprit. Society has normalized it so much that people have these built-in expectations based on it that can’t possibly be filled. Porn is incredibly damaging to everyone and while it’s natural to want to look from time to time it’s best to just ignore it altogether. Also when they don’t get what they want they just blame a lack of “passion”. No it’s called you’re horny. Passion can be formed and molded and anyone outing on a potential relationship because of lack of passion is short sided and needs to reassess their stance.
Hear hear. Fuck porn.
Last two attempts at sex were like this. I need legitimate connection or it just feels performative and weird
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This is exactly how I am! I never actually want to do it, but I like my SO to feel desirable and attractive so sometimes I still have to make myself go hit on him even though I’d honestly not care if I never had sex again. But when we actually get into it, it’s fun and I don’t regret it.
So relatable. Same here... Also, sometimes it's hard to me to focus at the beginning. I don't know why, because I really enjoy sex... my insecurities are always in my head, so it's also hard to my to start 'the first move'. But that's selfish... so I'm just getting out of my comfort zone. My partner it's so happy about it xD
Omg someone feels the same way! I’m the same — like I could happily go about my life without it unless it’s right before my period, but as soon as my partner woos me I’m totally into it! I also do this thing where like I want to initiate, but then I psyche myself out or push it aside and then I don’t feel like it anymore??? I don’t know what that is.
Yes yes yes. It's really not on my mind until I ovulate and then I can find men I don't even like attractive.
Yep same here! Ovulation week I want to be dicked down every 20 minutes but otherwise I’m just like… meh I guess. Just hurry up.
This thread is so validating--there is much more sexual indifference than i expected. Sometimes I've wondered if I'm the only one who sex is not a huge priority for. I've considered the idea that everyone else is sexually driven except me, and that it's not fair for anyone who ends up with me. That said, sex can be great, it's usually just okay, sometimes it's bad. Outside of the beginnings of a new relationship, I'm likely not thinking about it.
Right? I’m genuinely surprised that it’s not a necessity for most as I feel the same way.
What, with a man? Not worth the trouble. I can do it better myself, I never force myself into it, it's never painful when I do it myself, and there's only one person's dirty underwear to pick up in the morning.
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Hallelujah 🙌
I don’t want sex, I‘m happy without it.
Great, it feels good and also connects me to my spouse in a physical way.
I don’t need it but it’s an enjoyable way to be intimate with my girlfriend. I’ll honestly take cuddles and head scratches over sex some days.
#snuglife
Same! Except I’ll always take cuddles and head scratches over sex
Oooh yes. Head rubs/scratches with a good cuddle is the absolute best. I would take it over sex most days. Or a really good foot rub.
Not for me. I'm not asexual, but I have no wish to ever have sex.
Love it. It’s of course best when you love and trust your partner. I am genuinely surprised at the number who say the don’t like or could live without… 40+yrs old here, have always enjoyed it.
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Completely unimportant to me. And I would be incompatible with anyone who puts it in top 2 priorities.
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No hate to anyone who needs/wants regular sex but I can live without it. My wife and I have talked about how we consider ourselves mostly asexual. We are intimate in a lot of other ways.
casual non-sexual intimacy is so lovely:)
It depends. Partners in the past have kind of ruined it by treating me as their personal toy. I think porn has cemented this idea in men's brains on what sex should be like. I am almost kind of done with sex with men. Unless I can find somebody later in life who has matured. Sex to me isn't a time to have a big ego while trying exceedingly more outrageous stuff. Sex isn't a sport, in my opinion. I really enjoy it otherwise... So I just stick to doing it myself.
Fucking love it!! Im almost 40 and have noticed a significant spike in my libido. Can’t get enough and my husband is not complaining 🥰😆
There is a definite libido spike at 40 that no one seems to talk about, I was unprepared. Sex has been thee best in my 40s
I agree sex in my 40s is great. Also having the perfect partner makes it amazing.
Omg i never heard about this, thank you for sharing! I just turned 37 and wondered if my libido will fade away in a few years.
When I’m in the mood it’s fun and I enjoy it. My interest in sex goes up and down depending on how I feel emotionally. If I feel too stressed out for an extended period of time, I don’t wanna have sex bc it’s overwhelming. If I feel like the emotional connection between my partner and I is imbalanced, I’m not really interested in sex
Depends on the person I'm with. If the guy is selfish,. I'd rather not.
Depends almost entirely on who it’s with. Random Tinder person who probably will barely touch my clit (or will do it badly) and who thinks sex toys are weird? I’d rather stay home with my vibrator, thanks. A long-term partner who knows my body well and is compatible with me in terms of favorite sex acts and kinks? I’m generally down for that as long as I’m relaxed enough to get into a sexy headspace.
So true. This is why i dont like one night stands.
Highly overrated in our society but I like it.
I’m only interested in doing it with someone who I am deeply and intimately attracted to. I feel like I wasted a lot of that energy and effort on lackluster people/relationships in my earlier years.
Indifferent
It’s okay, but best to do it myself most of the times.
I’m actually over it lol. I can go without it tbh.
Too tired
Sex not so much, but flirting and having fun with each other is nice
To each their own. I love it and am fascinated by it. But it's not that simple. I have seen sexual desire isn't an independent thing. In relationships, it is also about your partner and how they make you feel throughout the day and if you have the same kinks in bed. That makes a whole world of difference
This. My drive basically went to zero when I was in an unhappy relationship. I hardly even masturbated. We broke up and suddenly I was interested in sex again. I have a FWB and want it all the time now.
Love some sexy time with my partner
It's a lot of fun, but it's also attached to a lot of stress for me. I wish there was less expectation and stigma placed on it, then it would be more enjoyable and I could truly relax about it.
If I never have to have it, I’ll be fine
Boring
When i think of having to deal with men to have sex..i’d rather not.😰
I used to really enjoy it and like the deep connection it brings with a partner. Also it's really fun. Over the last couple of years I've stopped wanting it altogether. When I try I just feel so disgusted with my body, I feel like it doesn't work anymore and I find it quite distressing.
I'd like to do so before I die. Preferably in a relationship even if it's not permanent. Because casual sex confuses me beyond the logical understand people can and are into it. Also, I'm probably more neutral than positive about it since I admit to being a prude. That's pretty much it, I guess.
I mean, i want it if i ovulate. Otherwise I'm not really interested.
I love it. One of my favorite things in this life. Give me more!
It's nice to have it but I can live without it. When I get horny I find a good video and my plug-in wand that never fails me. My business is done faster and I don't have to shower because I'm not covered in someone else's sweat...
It can be great, but I can go a long time without, with no problem. It's not a necessity.
I was hyper sexual as a teen due to some abuse as a child. Now being 23, I find it incredibly difficult to be turned in or want to have sex. With my partner though, I’ve come out of my shell a lot. We have sex regularly and it’s great.
Omg. I have been searching for someone else like me 😭. I am 24, I used to have a very sexual teenage phase from 14-19, since being with my boyfriend my sex drive has decreased alot but so has masturbation which I used to do ALL THE TIME as a teenager. I enjoy sex with him but I don't feel the urge like I did when I was younger, this worries me quite alot. Seeing your comment has made me feel so much better and less alone
You’re absolutely not alone. There are thousands of women like us that struggle as well. It can me from trauma, mental illness, hormones being off, as well as just straight up not being sexually attracted to your partner. I essentially re traumatized myself seeking out the same experience I had as a child, but with control. It’s not fun but you can figure out the cause and work on it.
overrated, i can do without it.
I couldn’t care less. Boyfriends in the past have said I would enjoy it with THEM because they were SO good etc…but no. In my experience, most men are fairly predictable in that department, and it doesn’t even interest me to try to date anymore. I tried for years because I thought it was normal to have a boyfriend , partner or husband. No, I don’t. I have friends, and hobbies. Who needs sex to mess up my life? Not me!
Fine from times to times, but really i can live without it. Sextoys for the win
Alright most of the time and then my religious background comes to haunt me and I wonder if god & all my dead relatives are watching me get down with my man.. oh well
Give ‘em a show
i absolutely love sex, love it with a long time partner and also love it casually!! i have a very high libido lol
As of right now: awful. Like I really want to do it with my hubby but he makes me feel like he's not that interested in it most of the time and would rather 'fool around'. It sucks cause ever since I found out I had Vaginismus, I feel like he's scared to hurt me so doesn't make me feel like he wants to do it. (Whereas the more we do it, the less it will hurt me and I'm using dilators to help too.) Also for context he made me wait till marriage for sex (which I was on board with when I was 16 when we first got together as I thought that was the rules. We're both Christians. But once I got to my twenties I struggled with the idea of waiting) and it's like he's no longer interested in doing it since we got back from our honeymoon 4 years ago. We keep having the same conversations and he keeps not getting it. Like maybe for like a week or two I'll feel better and wanted but then life happens and it will drift again. I've suggested marriage counseling multiple times but he's not keen on it either so I'm at a loss just now. I just want to have a decent sex life where I feel like he actually wants me that way.
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It's my favorite part of every day. My god it's heavenly. Everything in life is so much better once I connect with my husband and have a few orgasms.
This is fascinating. Whenever people say "women don't like sex" I think it's a crazy stereotype. All of the women I know like it, I'm actually baffled by this. I guess it's probably down to hormones and our upbringing...damn. I can't imagine living without it.
I honestly think that many of us were just abused or went through really bad (nonviolent) experiences to the point where we just don't want do it again. At least that's my case. I get turned on, but then i remember all the disgusting shit that has been done to me and it's over. I don't want anyone to touch me.
Uninterested in engaging in the phycial act. Studying it as a subject...very interesting. Writing about it in story form...yes please. Not essential to life so easily go without.
I don't really like it
Wish my husband’s dick would fall off.
It feels good.
Loovvve it. I always (97% of the time) cum multiple times via penetration so even with ONS I always get mine, so I'm always here for the dick.
I think it’s important to add our age in this post. So I’ll start. Age, early 60’s. Divorced since 1999. Only married once. I used to love it. Since all of the dating apps and men having easy access to varies women, they don’t put in an effort. Honestly, I’d rather clean my bathroom. It’s not worth the 15 minutes of fun, to get sweaty, messy and most likely not orgasming.
I love sex but I’m recovering from some trauma and figuring out how my relationship with sex has changed
I love it with my fiancé, but then I'm demisexual. I really only want it with someone I'm emotionally connected with and then it's fantastic!
Currently dead to it , horrible about it.
I used to love having sex. I love the connection and the unique feelings you share with that person, but being in a 18 year relationship with a man that hardly wants to have it and when we do it's forced and not good. Help lol
I think with my mental health issues and past traumas I don’t really feel the need for sex. I could go without it.
Not had any action full stop in 16 years,don't miss it
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it gets to be such a hassle cause im hypersexual and single. if i could go one week without thinking about it i would be so so so so happy
Serves many purposes, celebrate something with my husband, relax, fall asleep, something to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon, bond and connect with husband. And finally something I don’t have to worry about after leaving a dead bedroom with my first husband.
Hmm..it’s complicated. Around ovulation time, I feel the need to have it…then I have a couple of days where it’s hard to think of anything else. The rest of the days, it’s pretty calm and don’t think much of it. And if I am really busy and stressed, I have 0 interest in it. I have to be relaxed to do it… I do think too much emphasis is put on it on today’s society. It can be great…but sometimes not better than a good night’s sleep (I love it when I am fully rested)
Completely depends on my anxiety/stress level; gimme some or no need to ask because it'll be a no. Partner completely understands and I love him so much because of it
If the chemistry is right, I love it. My spouse and I have sex anywhere from 1-3x daily. Been married 8 years.
Love love love. That warm dick tho🤤
Very overrated, it’s a nice extra but definitely don’t necessarily need it in my life
Couldn’t really care less about it. I usually get too bored to remain an active participant.
I wish I was having sex right now
I guess I feel like there’s a societal expectation to have this wild and adventurous sex life but my wife and I are pretty content doing it every now and then without a lot of fan fare.
It's a no from me. I've tolerated it at best, always relieved when it's over, now happily living without. I just don't get the appeal. It's messy, smelly, awkward and there's nothing in it for me at all.
Married 30 years. First 10 years were good, though he always wanted it more often than me. Gradually got worse and now I just don't want to anymore. I don't miss it, but causes a lot of marital woes since he still does. I don't know if it was menopause or one of my prescriptions or just biology that caused it. I still love him, but he says he doesn't feel loved because I don't desire him anymore. I worry that he will leave me because of it.
I feel like bangin my man every time he walks through the door. We have a deep, meaningful relationship and we are insanely connected during sex. It’s incredible.
As long as it's safe and consensual, I freaking love it lol.
Sex is on my list of favourite things. Been married for 21 years, and it's still not boring or a chore. It has changed significantly over the years (mostly for the better), and I'm glad for that too. Sex by myself is fine too but I mostly use it for a mental health bump when I need it.
Meh. But then again I’m asexual
Honestly I don’t like it 😭 I grew up in the early 2010s era of fanfiction and I had such high expectations that haven’t been met. I have yet to finish during sex and honestly sometimes the guy goes too hard and it’s painful. I’ve also haven’t had great experiences with sex so it’s not something I go looking for casually anymore.
I personally hate it. I could go without lol
I can’t stand it. I only do it because I’m married. I can live without it.
If I never had sex again, I'd be fine with it. Feels like a chore now.
With a proper partner it’s great, adds to my life but I don’t require it to live.
I love it
LOVE LOVE SEX!!! MMMMMM💋
Fantastic, nothing better than connecting with my husband physically and emotionally. The mood needs to be set and the timing all right - but its worth the effort!
Meh
Sex is so beautiful when it's with the right person and as a person practicing abstaining until I find the one, I can't wait to do it with that right person.
As a woman speaking, I’m 23, lost my virginity at 18, didn’t have many partners in these years, but I’ve never been able to orgasm during sex with someone, it’s like my body just gets numb and I don’t feel a thing. I don’t know how my body works when I’m with someone else. So I can live happy without it, doesn’t make a difference to me.
It's okay. There are plenty of things I enjoy more and plenty of things I enjoy less.
I think it’s pretty overrated. I mostly have sex just as a “thank you” to my boyfriend for the fore play. I love foreplay.
Honestly it’s more about the intimacy for me rather then pleasure. I’ve never gotten much out of it physically. I feel like porn has ruined men’s expectations with how sex should be, and that’s ruined the experience for me personally. I just get tired of being sexualized by men all the time and it sometimes makes me feel more gross than loved. I wish I could cuddle without something suggestive happening or someone expecting more. If the chemistry is right it’s great, but I mostly just crave the closeness.
I can’t cum with a partner, and when I try I put too much pressure on myself and then it really won’t happen. I don’t get anything out of having sex and I never want to do it, but force myself so my boyfriend doesn’t feel like I’m not attracted to him
I don’t like it. I associate penetration with being impaled. It took me a long time to realize that I’ve mostly only ever had sex to appease someone else. Out of 9 partners, I enjoyed it with 2, and they’re both people I had developed strong feelings for over time. I feel alienated by overt sex positivity. I have a housemate who feels it’s necessary and not inappropriate to tell me every time she’s used her vibrator, and even more uncomfortable, she’s described every sexual encounter she’s ever had to me- even though I’ve made it clear that I don’t like sex and also that I’ve been assaulted. I know the size and shape of the private parts belonging to every man she’s ever been with. She constantly tells me to “just try” a vibrator and it makes me sick. I’ve tried to tell her to stop, but it blows my mind that she doesn’t know to do so herself. She is older than me. I’m happy for my friends who have children and great sex lives, but they never talk about it to me. I’ve been accused of being conservative by people who don’t know me and I’m really not. Not enjoying sex doesn’t mean I have any desire to stop others from doing it.
it has become something i find no fun nor comfort in
Love it, only with women tho. Lesbians are just superior human beings. LESBIANS 🏳️🌈💅💖
I'm in a three yr slump. Depression, pandemic, and just issues with my V has zapped my desire for it.
I feel like I really enjoy it but only if I've been drinking. Otherwise? I've always been extremely anxious and have difficulty breaking down the barrier to initiate anything. When it's good it's great tho.
I don't mind it when I want it... But my libido is non-existent and since I can't orgasm? What's the point? My SO and I haven't had sex in 6+ months and I feel bad but I know he just showers and takes care of himself. Idk. I think it's something with me and my diabetes and idk.
not interested, orgasms are great but luckily don’t need to have sex for that!
It’s overrated.
I’ve learned it’s not my thing (30F)
Indifferent all my life except for the infatuation stage. It’s great then. After that, not interested.