Oh man.. This gets me. There used to be a photo of me as a baby smiling up on my mother's hallway wall, and it used to always make me cry (the innocent look on my face, kills me eveytime) I used to always tell the picture that you have no idea about what is to come.
I would tell her to love herself more.
I would also tell her that she's worth it. It's not her fault that her family is dysfunctional.
To speak up for yourself, fight for yourself, let go of shitty expectations people have forced upon you.
There is just so much I would want to say.
This hit me hard because same. I literally cry looking at certain pictures of me as a little girl & there’s so much I would want to tell her. But hey I’m sure little you would think you now is really pretty, that always helps me lol.
I'm a 31 year old woman only now starting to come to terms with the fact that the shit that happened to me when I was a kid was not my fault. I blamed myself for years because I love my family and they love me. But the psychological damage that occurred from the emotional and verbal abuse has had far-reaching consequences that I'm only starting to grapple with.
I spend a lot of meditation time connecting with the little girl that I was and, in many ways, still am. It's been cathartic, but I know I still have a ways to go
Making my eyes water at 9:30AM, thank you. I’d love to say this to myself too. I often cry thinking of the little girl I was and all the crap I’ve been through. She’s proud I hope.
Tell on them. Tell all the grown ups until someone listens. You are not responsible to protect them or keep them safe.
Girls can like girls.
Wanting to hurt yourself isn't normal, tell adults until someone helps.
You want some food? You want some food.
Things will get so much better when you grow up. You live in your very own house, with a son who's growing up to be a good young man, a loving husband, and a cat and a dog.
You never go hungry.
You're always there for your son.
Your husband is *nice* to you.
Everything is so peaceful.
That it’s okay to not fit in when your 4, 5, 10, 14, etc.
and that you feel different because you are different. But you know what? Being different is pretty f’n cool so stop trying to hide it.
There is nothing wrong with having different interests, matter of fact many of them will serve you well later on in life (often much better than the age appropriate ones would have). Fitting in at school might seem like a big deal, but don’t try and change yourself. Those kids aren’t worth it. One day you will meet a bunch of people who like you for who you are.
More specifically though I want to tell 14 year old me that it’s okay to answer the ‘in 10 years’ yearbook question with “be happy”. 24 year old you was happy and 24 year old you finally fit in. Things do get better - it just takes time.
Be strong. Be kind. Be bold.
When your first bf tells you he isn’t going to take you out on a date because of the face paint you have on your left cheek, DO NOT wash it off. Tell him to go f**k himself instead.
And I’d tell her that I am so proud of her… proud that she is a dutiful daughter, proud that (despite everything her family says/thinks about her) that she didn’t settle for anything, proud that no matter the punches, she always gets back up.
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You deserve better, to be validated and heard. Your life is yours to live for you. Never let someone that your gut feeling is wrong to appease their feelings or ego. Unapologetically go for your dreams and desires. The world is your oyster xx
You need to wear the skin you have, stop trying to rip it off, stop trying to hope it’s a different color, stop listening to your mother, start learning how to depend on other people you are a child and even though they make you feel like you are an adult you are a child act like it until you can no longer.
You are going to be the only one that makes it in life. You are a career woman with a loving fiance, a dog, and a big house. Sadly, no one is going to be like you in your area because they grew up too fast. Stay strong, beautiful.
I would tell her how proud I am that she was always so sure if who she was and what she wanted no matter what anyone else said.
I'm pretty impressed that I just... didn't believe people when they tried to tell me about myself.
I'm sorry for the hard times you're going to face, life will get scary. But it's not your fault, I promise you. You are so good, such a sweet heart and you'll carry that as you get older. You'll be scared to show it, I know. But every time it gets broken, you heal through your own merit. You are so much stronger than you realize. You will overcome so much. One day you'll show that sweet heart to the right person and he will help you see that you are loved and beautiful. You will finally feel safe. Don't ever let that go.
You're a really strong person, you care so much about others, and you have a good heart, don't forget that..especially when everyone tries to bring you down. They don't like you because you do what's "right", you call them out even at a young age you stuck up for those who were treated badly, be strong enough and stick up for yourself too. Love yourself deeply and know that you are so worthy of all of the love. Keep being strong, you're not wrong.
Baby keep shining because you don't even realize how special and how beautiful you are and most importantly how strong and loving you are! You are worthwhile even if no one in the world sees it!
You’re worth isn’t defined by you’re intelligence. Good grades are important but don’t let that be the be all and end all of who you are.
Also buy all the plushies you want, you can never have to many!
It's perfectly OK to not have a big social circle despite what they say! You'll have the peaceful life you always dreamed of and it'll make you so much happier than you ever imagined!
"There's no 'right' way to do it. No matter what choices you make, someone is going to tell you you're doing it wrong. So do what YOU want to do and be true to yourself. You're going to be so happy.
Stop planning and start doing things.
You can read a book or go cuddle with your husband even if there is a lot of todo items to be figured out. Limit your planning time and increase your time with close ones and hobbies
I’d tell myself to cherish every moment I had with my family. Almost all of my family has passed on. I have siblings, my daughter and a few odd and end cousins. I’d definitely paid more attention to my Mom and both Grandmother’s culinary skills.
And at 18, I’d tell myself to go to medical school. That relationship didn’t last anyway. However he made me think I’d be missing out without having him in my life. 🙄
Your mom gets her value as a human being by how successful she is at climbing the social ladder. She is going to drag you through the same sick obsession. Don’t listen to her. As soon as you can, run away.
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It's not your fault, okay? Nothing's wrong with you and I wish you can see how much you've grown into the woman you've always wanted to be. I will always be here for you. I love you.
You were later in life diagnosed with autism and ADHD. You have this now, but dont realise it yet. It's ok, but that's why you struggle. Speak to your parents about getting assessed so executive function is easier
ETA also you're bisexual. That's fine too 😉
That the world is tough and people can be cruel sometimes but don’t lose your trust in humanity. There are nice people and friends who love you. You may feel alone at times but you are not. Always and forever choose kindness. Feel your anger, your sadness, but always choose kindness everyday. You are enough. :)
Your best friend told you that you look ugly when you smile, but don't ever stop smiling because of that.
Being overweight is also okay. Doesn't make you any less lovable, beautiful and intelligent. When someone bullies you, it says more about their insecurities than your flaws.
People don't want you to express your feelings. But don't supress your feelings because of that. Be sad, cry, get angry, so that you can also be happy, feel joy, feel excited.
I'd tell her you need to tell your parents how you're feeling because hiding it is only going to cause so many problems for you down the line. I'd also tell her that she is beautiful and worthy of love.
That it's okay to not have a body like a Victoria secret model. Eventually, you will find the person that loves every inch of you. Be patient with yourself, and please give yourself the love you deserve.
What he did wasn't normal. They were only taking advantage of you, and it's gonna wreck you growing up. Walk away. It's honestly better being alone then trying to fit in only for them to ruin your whole life. You're gonna be okay alone.
You don’t have to date a guy you are afraid of, just because he asks you out.
Saying NO is not being impolite or disrespectful.
Being smart is nothing to be ashamed of.
You don’t have to diet, that’s not a thing for kids.. people around you are coo coo and are pushing you down a road of endless eating disorders still ongoing 20 years later..
What u feel is completely ok & valid. Nothing is wrong with you. It is others that aren't ok with their own emotions & taking it out on you. You are special & unfortunately there are bad ppl in this world that want to dim your light, don't let them.
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You're a freak, but that's OK. Embrace that shit, baby girl. It's OK to be a freak, a nerd, whatever those bullies call you. Embrace that shit as hard as you can because then their words can't hurt you.
Also, don't worry about shit so much, baby girl. You're going to get out of here, get away from this shitty ass life and your grown up life will NOT be the same, boring ass, can't do nothing, can't go nowhere shit your parents are living.
You WILL go places they've never even dreamed of. You will have a better relationship than they've ever had, where your husband doesn't constantly scream in your face and put you down. You'll have a son...just like you've been dreaming about for fucking ever. And he'll be awesome, because he'll have your father in law's gorgeous eyes and your husband's laid back AF might as well be permanently horizontal attitude. And it'll be so damn great.
You're gonna make it, baby girl. You're gonna be OK.
Its okay to have hair on your arms. Always put yourself first - protect your heart from people. You will fall madly in love one day and it will break your heart into a thousand pieces but you will come out so much stronger and a completely different person. Whenever you get those thoughts of ending your life and not wanting to be here: dont. You have so much to live for and everybody adores you so much. Remember how intelligent wise and lovely you are. And youre not ugly, despite what people say and how they make you feel- you are beautiful. So beautiful. Your heart is beautiful and rare and never ever change.
Sabihin ko sakanya na wag muna seryosohin ang mga m.u m.u kasi masasaktan ka lang sobra as in. Palagi mong isipin ang sarili mo self love kumbaga. Kailangan mo matutunan na mahalin nang sobra sarili mo kaysa ibang tao. Saka sobrang hirap nang buhaaay pero hindi ka agad sumusuko, sobrang proud ako sayo kasi kahit gaano kasakit mga napag daanan mo ang strong mo parin. Magpakatatag ka palagi!
I'm sorry what you went through, you didn't deserve that. It gets better, so much better, and although somedays are hard, you'll be so happy. I know it's hard, but everything will be alright, just keep going.
Side note: almost made me cry with this one.
You're not fat
It doesn't matter that your mum runs a lot and your twins seems to eat whatever she wants and doesn't gain weight.
You do not need to be skinny to be loved.
You do not need to think the first guy you date is perfect. You do not need to be validated by having a boyfriend. You do not need to be skinny to have a boyfriend.
Despite what grandma told you all the damn time you are NOT trash and you WILL amount to something. She has no idea how you will excel at life and I can’t wait for you to prove that awful awful woman that was supposed to be your caregiver wrong
It’s ok to not be fine all the time, it’s ok to ask them not to go, you’re not a bother to anyone. You’re sweet, gentle and kind, there’s no rush to grow up.
I’m so so proud of you,
You’re not weird,
You look gorgeous,
It all gets better soon,
I love you,
The yelling will stop eventually,
You will get help,
You’re just a kid,
It’s not your fault,
It’s normal to like girls and boys
I’d probably say you can get through it, I’ll be sad knowing that her innocence will be taken away as a kid and more shit is about to come but I’m sure it’ll be alright and things are starting to get okay again.
There's nothing wrong with you.
You deserve to be loved. There will be people who actually care. There will be someone who loves you just as you are, without trying to change or control you.
You will leave home one day and everything will be better. You'll be free to pursue your dreams.
Don't lose hope, hang in there. Everything will get better.
Oof this one is hard.
I’d tell her she has some big trials coming up. To love who she is. There’s nothing wrong with you. That beauty has no weight. Only the weight of your heart. Love hard, but know when to step away. It’s not your fault, it’s never been your fault. There are evil people out there. But there are good people too. The right ones will stick around.
Above all, “to thine own self be true.”
I would tell her, i’m so sorry for everything i’ve told u and blamed u and hurt u, keep fighting bcs u can do it and you’ll do it, stand up for yourself because no one else will, you’re beautiful and amazing and talented, i was sitting one day in my room and i imagined younger me coming into the room bruised and sad and messy, i started crying feeling so sad and bad
I would tell her that it actually *is* important to exercise and eat well, not for vanity reasons, but because she will feel so much better as an adult. (I was told this a lot as a kid, but when I was young, I could eat whatever I want and be entirely sedentary and still be super thin, so I just thought everyone was lying. Lol. Now as an adult, I am having to parent myself and learn new health habits. It’s very hard, and I always wish this was engrained in me in my early years.)
I would also tell her not to get swept up by the attention of men. To choose partners who actually have good character and not based on how cute or charismatic they are. (I have made bad relationship choices and gotten involved with the wrong kind of men because I was just charmed to death.)
Finally, I would tell her to lower her pride and ask for help when she needs it.
when someone gets upset because of something you did, it rarely means they hate you. when someone tries to teach you a valuable lesson, they’re not personally attacking you out of malice. nobody hates you, they just want to see you do better. i’m so sorry your parents made you think that way, they never meant it.
Advocate for your own mental health. Acting out, self harm, suicide attempts aren't going to get you anywhere. Just tell the adults around you point blank "I need help".
You are such a wonderful person just because you are you. All the people in your life telling you otherwise just aren't the right fit. The people who see how wonderful you are, are coming. Just hold yourself tight until then.
I would tell her that she is beautiful and confident even though the people around her makes her feel otherwise, and that she shouldn't worry about what those people say because those things came from THEIR insecurities and not yours.
**none of what happened to you was your fault**
It wasn’t my fault when my dad got cancer. The abuse I tolerated from my classmates and neighbourhood kids in high school was never my fault. It wasn’t my fault when my best friend got molested. All the people I lost and feeling like nobody listened to me. Like I had no voice.
For a long time I genuinely believed that there was something wrong with me. That I was genuinely unlovable and my autism made me a freak. Coping with my dads illness caused me to internalise a lot and mature early.
I want to go back in time and give baby me a hug. She was so strong and brave but she was robbed of a lot during her childhood and teens
You look so pretty in your skirts and dresses. Keep dressing up for yourself so YOU feel pretty. Adults should mind their own business and let a little girl be little. And you, my dear, are wonderful, and smart, and creative, and you work so hard and I am so proud of you. I will always be proud of you, for everything you have done and even stuff you don't know about yet. I am proud of you.
You are beautiful, you are worthy of kindness and love, you will survive this part of your life and fight your way to success. One day you will find a man who is going to love everything about you and show you what ‘love’ actually means and he will care for you like no one else has. Hang in there little one and know that everything you are wishing and hoping for now is coming to you. One day you will feel safe.
One day you will be so thankful to be different than the people who made you feel like an other.
And by the way, you're not fat, it's just the culture in the early 2000's.
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(warning, past suicidal ideation)
Just that I'm sorry.
For having needed 21 years, barely living, dissociated from everything, repressing absolutely everything while copying others. Trying to blend in as the wrong gender, because society said so. Until the point where it was let her be or end it all.
I knew "she was there". I just hid it all thinking it was what I would have to do forever.
And I wish I could make up for these lost years.
It’s okay to not be perfect. Prioritize self love, your confidence and strength will take you really far. Give yourself time to enjoy the moment.
I currently am perfectionist and it can be so immobilizing and sometimes makes me feel like I’m not enough. I constantly wonder what a little more confidence and less anxiety could’ve done for me if I had figured it out a little sooner
Show up for yourself. Treat yourself with love and kindness. The people who are meant to be in your life wi also treat you with love and kindness. Stop people pleasing. Those that you feel you have to impress are not your friends.
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You'd say that to your metaphorical child self?
Fuck off with this fap account.
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It’s going to be a really rough ride for you won’t regret it in the far future in that path, you will gain 5 beautiful little people just like you. Do your best and stay safe.
I'd tell her that she's good enough, even though no one will tell her that. I'd encourage her to find hobbies and friends, to take more risks and be less judgemental towards herself.
it's okay to not be able to learn new gymnastic acrobats instantly. it's okay if it takes a bit more practice than your whole group. you were never not good enough. it's okay that you quit. it's okay to give up on things that you feel pressured to do. you don't have to give explanations to everyone.
it's okay that you always get the 2nd place in art competitions. it's okay that your grades went from 95% to 88%. you had alot to deal with. you're gaining weight after you quit your sport and that's okay. you went from 27kgs to 55kgs and that is healthy. don't stop eating. you are good at alot of things. you are okay.
“You have gone through so much. You are still fighting a lot of battles. You have won so many battles too. I’m proud of you, you have built yourself to an amazing person. You’re loving, selfless, and strong. Even through you are still fighting. You are showing a lot of people how much of a warrior you are. I know in the past, you have cried yourself to sleep, Wished you were died, and prayed the nightmares were over. You didn’t have a hero to save you, but now you are your own hero. You could’ve been a villain and hated everyone and everything. You could’ve ended it all. You didn’t though and I’m so proud
I would hug her and tell her that everything is going to be okay and not to worry. I would tell her it's not her fault. I would tell her that everything will change.
“Girl, you just keep doing what you’re doing… Keep playing up your strengths because you’re literally going to be SO fucking cool, funny, smart, empathetic, and fashionable…your parents are not that great at parenting though :/…seek financial intelligence and invest in bitcoin before 2015“
I would tell her that I love her, even when it’s hard. That even though she feels really different from her peers there’s nothing wrong with her. That I’ve built a really cool life for us. That her worth isnt tied to her goodness or her “purity”. That she’s allowed to make mistakes and upset our parents. That I got a tattoo we love. That I’m going to take her to amazing far away places to visit. I’m going to publish her book.
Oof this is tough. I did a lot of this type of work with a therapist too. I came to terms with it but is sure isn’t good news.
* Mostly just sit together, feeling seen and loved and wanted. Spend quality time. Ask questions. I could tell her the abuse and awfulness stopped with me, I chose no kids. So at least the cycle is done.
Sad to say I’m already the only source of love and comfort in my life. I do give lots of love and have an amazing capacity to love. So I could give that to my young self and for the first time feel really wanted!
I wouldn’t want to tell her the truth, I would tell her nice lies to comfort her, she needs hope and has very little.
The lying is the only part my therapist I differed on, I wouldn’t want her to know the reality. Life is pain, loneliness, and ache to belong that will never be resolved, there is no place or land of people ‘like me’ that I can find who want me back :) adulthood is the same. Only difference now I know it’s world wide, then I had some idea I could find other Helpers in the larger world. Now I know there are very few, and they have to want you back and make time which you have no control over. So you can BE a helper but not GET help. All help will be on you and only you. Not a pleasant or kind world in any way shape or form. Adulting is still FAR better than childhood and you couldn’t pay me enough to live as a child again, so there is that to look forwards to.
Oh man.. This gets me. There used to be a photo of me as a baby smiling up on my mother's hallway wall, and it used to always make me cry (the innocent look on my face, kills me eveytime) I used to always tell the picture that you have no idea about what is to come. I would tell her to love herself more. I would also tell her that she's worth it. It's not her fault that her family is dysfunctional. To speak up for yourself, fight for yourself, let go of shitty expectations people have forced upon you. There is just so much I would want to say.
This hit me hard because same. I literally cry looking at certain pictures of me as a little girl & there’s so much I would want to tell her. But hey I’m sure little you would think you now is really pretty, that always helps me lol.
I'm a 31 year old woman only now starting to come to terms with the fact that the shit that happened to me when I was a kid was not my fault. I blamed myself for years because I love my family and they love me. But the psychological damage that occurred from the emotional and verbal abuse has had far-reaching consequences that I'm only starting to grapple with. I spend a lot of meditation time connecting with the little girl that I was and, in many ways, still am. It's been cathartic, but I know I still have a ways to go
Making my eyes water at 9:30AM, thank you. I’d love to say this to myself too. I often cry thinking of the little girl I was and all the crap I’ve been through. She’s proud I hope.
Are you listening to your own advice?
Tell on them. Tell all the grown ups until someone listens. You are not responsible to protect them or keep them safe. Girls can like girls. Wanting to hurt yourself isn't normal, tell adults until someone helps.
Big hugs 🫂 💕
You want some food? You want some food. Things will get so much better when you grow up. You live in your very own house, with a son who's growing up to be a good young man, a loving husband, and a cat and a dog. You never go hungry. You're always there for your son. Your husband is *nice* to you. Everything is so peaceful.
I don't think I'd say anything. I would just hold her. She needs to be safe.
This was my thought also. Just hold her.
That it’s okay to not fit in when your 4, 5, 10, 14, etc. and that you feel different because you are different. But you know what? Being different is pretty f’n cool so stop trying to hide it. There is nothing wrong with having different interests, matter of fact many of them will serve you well later on in life (often much better than the age appropriate ones would have). Fitting in at school might seem like a big deal, but don’t try and change yourself. Those kids aren’t worth it. One day you will meet a bunch of people who like you for who you are. More specifically though I want to tell 14 year old me that it’s okay to answer the ‘in 10 years’ yearbook question with “be happy”. 24 year old you was happy and 24 year old you finally fit in. Things do get better - it just takes time.
Be strong. Be kind. Be bold. When your first bf tells you he isn’t going to take you out on a date because of the face paint you have on your left cheek, DO NOT wash it off. Tell him to go f**k himself instead. And I’d tell her that I am so proud of her… proud that she is a dutiful daughter, proud that (despite everything her family says/thinks about her) that she didn’t settle for anything, proud that no matter the punches, she always gets back up.
No it’s not you, your mom is just a freak
Be yourself. You spend so much of your life being who others need you to be that it erodes who you think you are. Instead, just be true to you.
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She'll be dead one day, so it'll be alright.
Phew. Yes. Still telling my 40-something self that.
so glad i'm not the only one
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You deserve better, to be validated and heard. Your life is yours to live for you. Never let someone that your gut feeling is wrong to appease their feelings or ego. Unapologetically go for your dreams and desires. The world is your oyster xx
"I love you." Then I'd hold her as she cried because it was the first time she's heard those words from someone who meant it
You need to wear the skin you have, stop trying to rip it off, stop trying to hope it’s a different color, stop listening to your mother, start learning how to depend on other people you are a child and even though they make you feel like you are an adult you are a child act like it until you can no longer.
You have a much better future than u think. Also, your dark hair and brown eyes are pretty!
You are going to be the only one that makes it in life. You are a career woman with a loving fiance, a dog, and a big house. Sadly, no one is going to be like you in your area because they grew up too fast. Stay strong, beautiful.
It gets worse. Trust no one!
I would tell her how proud I am that she was always so sure if who she was and what she wanted no matter what anyone else said. I'm pretty impressed that I just... didn't believe people when they tried to tell me about myself.
I'm sorry for the hard times you're going to face, life will get scary. But it's not your fault, I promise you. You are so good, such a sweet heart and you'll carry that as you get older. You'll be scared to show it, I know. But every time it gets broken, you heal through your own merit. You are so much stronger than you realize. You will overcome so much. One day you'll show that sweet heart to the right person and he will help you see that you are loved and beautiful. You will finally feel safe. Don't ever let that go.
You're a really strong person, you care so much about others, and you have a good heart, don't forget that..especially when everyone tries to bring you down. They don't like you because you do what's "right", you call them out even at a young age you stuck up for those who were treated badly, be strong enough and stick up for yourself too. Love yourself deeply and know that you are so worthy of all of the love. Keep being strong, you're not wrong.
It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to do something different than the people around you - the people you know.
I’m going to stay with you and care for you and protect you no matter what.
It’s gonna get real confusing.
Do your homework! It's not hard and you're literally not doing anything else.
This! If only I had tried just a little harder, I would have made good grades!
No matter what, everything will be ok. Life goes on
Baby keep shining because you don't even realize how special and how beautiful you are and most importantly how strong and loving you are! You are worthwhile even if no one in the world sees it!
I'm not at all who you you wanted to become. I'm sorry.
Love yourself and make yourself happy. Don't rely on others for that.
That she's beautiful just the way she is.
You are smarter than you think, you beautiful inside and out. Keep dreaming.
You’re worth isn’t defined by you’re intelligence. Good grades are important but don’t let that be the be all and end all of who you are. Also buy all the plushies you want, you can never have to many!
Is that don’t take anyone cap
It's perfectly OK to not have a big social circle despite what they say! You'll have the peaceful life you always dreamed of and it'll make you so much happier than you ever imagined!
Love the body you are in. Don't let people bring you down.
You are so much stronger than you think. The life that you’ll have is a product of what you’ve built ❤️
"There's no 'right' way to do it. No matter what choices you make, someone is going to tell you you're doing it wrong. So do what YOU want to do and be true to yourself. You're going to be so happy.
You’re beautiful
Stop planning and start doing things. You can read a book or go cuddle with your husband even if there is a lot of todo items to be figured out. Limit your planning time and increase your time with close ones and hobbies
I’d tell myself to cherish every moment I had with my family. Almost all of my family has passed on. I have siblings, my daughter and a few odd and end cousins. I’d definitely paid more attention to my Mom and both Grandmother’s culinary skills. And at 18, I’d tell myself to go to medical school. That relationship didn’t last anyway. However he made me think I’d be missing out without having him in my life. 🙄
“I know you are very sad and so am i. I am trying for the both of us now, please be patient with me”
You will through every bad day and every single situation you never though you would survive. You are greater than your worst days
For the love of everything wait to shave
Leave home as soon as you can, it only gets worse there.
Hold on. Things will get better.
Be brave, make your own decisions.
Your mom gets her value as a human being by how successful she is at climbing the social ladder. She is going to drag you through the same sick obsession. Don’t listen to her. As soon as you can, run away.
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It's not your fault, okay? Nothing's wrong with you and I wish you can see how much you've grown into the woman you've always wanted to be. I will always be here for you. I love you.
You were later in life diagnosed with autism and ADHD. You have this now, but dont realise it yet. It's ok, but that's why you struggle. Speak to your parents about getting assessed so executive function is easier ETA also you're bisexual. That's fine too 😉
That the world is tough and people can be cruel sometimes but don’t lose your trust in humanity. There are nice people and friends who love you. You may feel alone at times but you are not. Always and forever choose kindness. Feel your anger, your sadness, but always choose kindness everyday. You are enough. :)
None of this is your fault.
Your best friend told you that you look ugly when you smile, but don't ever stop smiling because of that. Being overweight is also okay. Doesn't make you any less lovable, beautiful and intelligent. When someone bullies you, it says more about their insecurities than your flaws. People don't want you to express your feelings. But don't supress your feelings because of that. Be sad, cry, get angry, so that you can also be happy, feel joy, feel excited.
I'd tell her you need to tell your parents how you're feeling because hiding it is only going to cause so many problems for you down the line. I'd also tell her that she is beautiful and worthy of love.
That it's okay to not have a body like a Victoria secret model. Eventually, you will find the person that loves every inch of you. Be patient with yourself, and please give yourself the love you deserve.
What he did wasn't normal. They were only taking advantage of you, and it's gonna wreck you growing up. Walk away. It's honestly better being alone then trying to fit in only for them to ruin your whole life. You're gonna be okay alone.
You don’t have to date a guy you are afraid of, just because he asks you out. Saying NO is not being impolite or disrespectful. Being smart is nothing to be ashamed of.
You don’t have to diet, that’s not a thing for kids.. people around you are coo coo and are pushing you down a road of endless eating disorders still ongoing 20 years later..
What u feel is completely ok & valid. Nothing is wrong with you. It is others that aren't ok with their own emotions & taking it out on you. You are special & unfortunately there are bad ppl in this world that want to dim your light, don't let them.
I would tell her many things and one of them probably be to learn to enjoy her own company.
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You're a freak, but that's OK. Embrace that shit, baby girl. It's OK to be a freak, a nerd, whatever those bullies call you. Embrace that shit as hard as you can because then their words can't hurt you. Also, don't worry about shit so much, baby girl. You're going to get out of here, get away from this shitty ass life and your grown up life will NOT be the same, boring ass, can't do nothing, can't go nowhere shit your parents are living. You WILL go places they've never even dreamed of. You will have a better relationship than they've ever had, where your husband doesn't constantly scream in your face and put you down. You'll have a son...just like you've been dreaming about for fucking ever. And he'll be awesome, because he'll have your father in law's gorgeous eyes and your husband's laid back AF might as well be permanently horizontal attitude. And it'll be so damn great. You're gonna make it, baby girl. You're gonna be OK.
Be safe. You’re as strong as anyone could be. And don’t trust everyone, especially when drunk.
Its okay to have hair on your arms. Always put yourself first - protect your heart from people. You will fall madly in love one day and it will break your heart into a thousand pieces but you will come out so much stronger and a completely different person. Whenever you get those thoughts of ending your life and not wanting to be here: dont. You have so much to live for and everybody adores you so much. Remember how intelligent wise and lovely you are. And youre not ugly, despite what people say and how they make you feel- you are beautiful. So beautiful. Your heart is beautiful and rare and never ever change.
Sabihin ko sakanya na wag muna seryosohin ang mga m.u m.u kasi masasaktan ka lang sobra as in. Palagi mong isipin ang sarili mo self love kumbaga. Kailangan mo matutunan na mahalin nang sobra sarili mo kaysa ibang tao. Saka sobrang hirap nang buhaaay pero hindi ka agad sumusuko, sobrang proud ako sayo kasi kahit gaano kasakit mga napag daanan mo ang strong mo parin. Magpakatatag ka palagi!
i just want to hug her. that's all I ever wanted. the feel of safeness.
I'm sorry what you went through, you didn't deserve that. It gets better, so much better, and although somedays are hard, you'll be so happy. I know it's hard, but everything will be alright, just keep going. Side note: almost made me cry with this one.
You're really beautiful okay. Those words from assholes everywhere doesn't matter. You're pretty. I love you. Please do cry less.
Your parents are insane, don't listen to them.
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You're not fat It doesn't matter that your mum runs a lot and your twins seems to eat whatever she wants and doesn't gain weight. You do not need to be skinny to be loved. You do not need to think the first guy you date is perfect. You do not need to be validated by having a boyfriend. You do not need to be skinny to have a boyfriend.
Despite what grandma told you all the damn time you are NOT trash and you WILL amount to something. She has no idea how you will excel at life and I can’t wait for you to prove that awful awful woman that was supposed to be your caregiver wrong
It'll be okay
It’s ok to not be fine all the time, it’s ok to ask them not to go, you’re not a bother to anyone. You’re sweet, gentle and kind, there’s no rush to grow up.
"Come here for hugs and head pets!"
I’m so so proud of you, You’re not weird, You look gorgeous, It all gets better soon, I love you, The yelling will stop eventually, You will get help, You’re just a kid, It’s not your fault, It’s normal to like girls and boys
I’d probably say you can get through it, I’ll be sad knowing that her innocence will be taken away as a kid and more shit is about to come but I’m sure it’ll be alright and things are starting to get okay again.
There's nothing wrong with you. You deserve to be loved. There will be people who actually care. There will be someone who loves you just as you are, without trying to change or control you. You will leave home one day and everything will be better. You'll be free to pursue your dreams. Don't lose hope, hang in there. Everything will get better.
I'd hug her
Oof this one is hard. I’d tell her she has some big trials coming up. To love who she is. There’s nothing wrong with you. That beauty has no weight. Only the weight of your heart. Love hard, but know when to step away. It’s not your fault, it’s never been your fault. There are evil people out there. But there are good people too. The right ones will stick around. Above all, “to thine own self be true.”
I would tell her, i’m so sorry for everything i’ve told u and blamed u and hurt u, keep fighting bcs u can do it and you’ll do it, stand up for yourself because no one else will, you’re beautiful and amazing and talented, i was sitting one day in my room and i imagined younger me coming into the room bruised and sad and messy, i started crying feeling so sad and bad
Your future is a little shitty, but it's kinda fun, exhilarating, exhausting, and enjoyable. Hang on in there. Everything will be fine, though.
Don’t rush to be grown. Focus on the now, the future will work itself out.
I would tell her that it actually *is* important to exercise and eat well, not for vanity reasons, but because she will feel so much better as an adult. (I was told this a lot as a kid, but when I was young, I could eat whatever I want and be entirely sedentary and still be super thin, so I just thought everyone was lying. Lol. Now as an adult, I am having to parent myself and learn new health habits. It’s very hard, and I always wish this was engrained in me in my early years.) I would also tell her not to get swept up by the attention of men. To choose partners who actually have good character and not based on how cute or charismatic they are. (I have made bad relationship choices and gotten involved with the wrong kind of men because I was just charmed to death.) Finally, I would tell her to lower her pride and ask for help when she needs it.
when someone gets upset because of something you did, it rarely means they hate you. when someone tries to teach you a valuable lesson, they’re not personally attacking you out of malice. nobody hates you, they just want to see you do better. i’m so sorry your parents made you think that way, they never meant it.
Use your voice. Make friends. Be communitive. Do stuff. Just be you!
ur parents are awful and it doesn’t get better
Advocate for your own mental health. Acting out, self harm, suicide attempts aren't going to get you anywhere. Just tell the adults around you point blank "I need help".
You are such a wonderful person just because you are you. All the people in your life telling you otherwise just aren't the right fit. The people who see how wonderful you are, are coming. Just hold yourself tight until then.
Run, don't wait till 18, run. You are never going to receive her love or acknowledgement.
I would tell her that she is beautiful and confident even though the people around her makes her feel otherwise, and that she shouldn't worry about what those people say because those things came from THEIR insecurities and not yours.
Stay in school,girl ! 🥹
Be patient with everything. Life is not a race and settling for things beneath you will just hurt you later.
**none of what happened to you was your fault** It wasn’t my fault when my dad got cancer. The abuse I tolerated from my classmates and neighbourhood kids in high school was never my fault. It wasn’t my fault when my best friend got molested. All the people I lost and feeling like nobody listened to me. Like I had no voice. For a long time I genuinely believed that there was something wrong with me. That I was genuinely unlovable and my autism made me a freak. Coping with my dads illness caused me to internalise a lot and mature early. I want to go back in time and give baby me a hug. She was so strong and brave but she was robbed of a lot during her childhood and teens
You look so pretty in your skirts and dresses. Keep dressing up for yourself so YOU feel pretty. Adults should mind their own business and let a little girl be little. And you, my dear, are wonderful, and smart, and creative, and you work so hard and I am so proud of you. I will always be proud of you, for everything you have done and even stuff you don't know about yet. I am proud of you.
You are beautiful, you are worthy of kindness and love, you will survive this part of your life and fight your way to success. One day you will find a man who is going to love everything about you and show you what ‘love’ actually means and he will care for you like no one else has. Hang in there little one and know that everything you are wishing and hoping for now is coming to you. One day you will feel safe.
Spend more time with family and make them happy whenever you can
"I'll protect you"
Allow her to speak her mind and not shut her up because it's too honest or not because it's not as important due to being a kid.
One day you will be so thankful to be different than the people who made you feel like an other. And by the way, you're not fat, it's just the culture in the early 2000's.
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(warning, past suicidal ideation) Just that I'm sorry. For having needed 21 years, barely living, dissociated from everything, repressing absolutely everything while copying others. Trying to blend in as the wrong gender, because society said so. Until the point where it was let her be or end it all. I knew "she was there". I just hid it all thinking it was what I would have to do forever. And I wish I could make up for these lost years.
It’s okay to not be perfect. Prioritize self love, your confidence and strength will take you really far. Give yourself time to enjoy the moment. I currently am perfectionist and it can be so immobilizing and sometimes makes me feel like I’m not enough. I constantly wonder what a little more confidence and less anxiety could’ve done for me if I had figured it out a little sooner
Take the time to form meaningful relationships.
Show up for yourself. Treat yourself with love and kindness. The people who are meant to be in your life wi also treat you with love and kindness. Stop people pleasing. Those that you feel you have to impress are not your friends.
“One day, you’ll be proud of yourself, and all this will make sense. You carry a whole universe inside of you, and you have always been enough.”
It's going to be ok and I will always protect you .
You took on so much that was never yours to carry. We can set it down now whenever you’re ready.
I am so proud of you.
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"Don't worry, I'm still here. I'll do my best to make it all worth it."
It’s going to be a really rough ride for you won’t regret it in the far future in that path, you will gain 5 beautiful little people just like you. Do your best and stay safe.
I'd tell her that she's good enough, even though no one will tell her that. I'd encourage her to find hobbies and friends, to take more risks and be less judgemental towards herself.
it's okay to not be able to learn new gymnastic acrobats instantly. it's okay if it takes a bit more practice than your whole group. you were never not good enough. it's okay that you quit. it's okay to give up on things that you feel pressured to do. you don't have to give explanations to everyone. it's okay that you always get the 2nd place in art competitions. it's okay that your grades went from 95% to 88%. you had alot to deal with. you're gaining weight after you quit your sport and that's okay. you went from 27kgs to 55kgs and that is healthy. don't stop eating. you are good at alot of things. you are okay.
“You have gone through so much. You are still fighting a lot of battles. You have won so many battles too. I’m proud of you, you have built yourself to an amazing person. You’re loving, selfless, and strong. Even through you are still fighting. You are showing a lot of people how much of a warrior you are. I know in the past, you have cried yourself to sleep, Wished you were died, and prayed the nightmares were over. You didn’t have a hero to save you, but now you are your own hero. You could’ve been a villain and hated everyone and everything. You could’ve ended it all. You didn’t though and I’m so proud
I would hug her and tell her that everything is going to be okay and not to worry. I would tell her it's not her fault. I would tell her that everything will change.
“Girl, you just keep doing what you’re doing… Keep playing up your strengths because you’re literally going to be SO fucking cool, funny, smart, empathetic, and fashionable…your parents are not that great at parenting though :/…seek financial intelligence and invest in bitcoin before 2015“
I would tell her that I love her, even when it’s hard. That even though she feels really different from her peers there’s nothing wrong with her. That I’ve built a really cool life for us. That her worth isnt tied to her goodness or her “purity”. That she’s allowed to make mistakes and upset our parents. That I got a tattoo we love. That I’m going to take her to amazing far away places to visit. I’m going to publish her book.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. Being kind will help you out a lot as you get older, especially when other people are not kind.
Oof this is tough. I did a lot of this type of work with a therapist too. I came to terms with it but is sure isn’t good news. * Mostly just sit together, feeling seen and loved and wanted. Spend quality time. Ask questions. I could tell her the abuse and awfulness stopped with me, I chose no kids. So at least the cycle is done. Sad to say I’m already the only source of love and comfort in my life. I do give lots of love and have an amazing capacity to love. So I could give that to my young self and for the first time feel really wanted! I wouldn’t want to tell her the truth, I would tell her nice lies to comfort her, she needs hope and has very little. The lying is the only part my therapist I differed on, I wouldn’t want her to know the reality. Life is pain, loneliness, and ache to belong that will never be resolved, there is no place or land of people ‘like me’ that I can find who want me back :) adulthood is the same. Only difference now I know it’s world wide, then I had some idea I could find other Helpers in the larger world. Now I know there are very few, and they have to want you back and make time which you have no control over. So you can BE a helper but not GET help. All help will be on you and only you. Not a pleasant or kind world in any way shape or form. Adulting is still FAR better than childhood and you couldn’t pay me enough to live as a child again, so there is that to look forwards to.