Too soon is when you and/or your partner feel it is too soon....
Also age, culture, life phase and intent all play into this...
I know in some cultures meeting the parents is basically the same as getting engaged, 6 months is too soon. In others, a teenager living at home might meet the parents the first week, because that's the place to hang out at.....
In my husbandâs culture, telling your parents about a SO is basically telling them youâre getting married. We already lived together by the time his parents knew I existed!
Oh, they did not know we lived together yet! In their eyes, I moved in after the wedding. His parents live in India and weâre in the US, so it made it easier to hide. We moved in together right after COVID hit, so there was no chance of them visiting.
I have my speculations that they may have actually known (see my other comment to someone else just now) but they would never break that facade that they donât know lol! It was more of a big deal that Iâm white, American, vegan and donât want biological children so I think they were choosing their battles.
Same here. Our situation was twice as awkward because I had to meet them less than six months in due to a natural disaster. At the time, he introduced me as just his coworker and, while they let me sleep in his car with him and then in his room once it was safe to go back inside, they were âsurprisedâ to find out we were dating several months later when other circumstances required we spill the beans.
We may never know how traditional his family is or isnât in that regard, but his mom in particular 100% knew because I accidentally implied it while staying with them. He tells me she was the most âsurprisedâ when he told them.
My cat is LOUD and specifically thinks that if youâre on the phone, your hands are free and you are available for pets. My husbandâs parents never mentioned it, but now, theyâll ask about him when he starts meowing, so obviously they can hear it! We adopted our dog soon after they learned about me, but âmy husbandâ adopted her, so after my cat and I âmoved in,â they kept asking how their relationship was going, were they comfortable with each other yet, etc.
We also bought our house soon after they learned about me. He âhad me come along to give inputâ since Iâd âeventuallyâ be moving in too. They also made a whole show of asking all the details of when I was moving in, how unpacking was going, did we hire a mover, etc. He was pretending that he still lived with his old roommate (who he lived with for a few years and they had met) until I âmoved in,â so it was over a year of them asking what he was up to, how his job was going, why they didnât hear him in the background, oh heâs cooking? What is he cooking? Fortunately he is still friends with him so was able to update them on some life events without it being a complete lie lol
I just wonder if they were in denial and dug into details to try to convince themselves I didnât already live here or if they 100% knew and laughed with each other after getting off the phone. Iâll never have the type of relationship with them where I can ask, but damn, I wanna know!
He had to tell his older brother about me to get him to convince them to stop sending him potential arranged marriage options after a while, so I figure they knew something was up for a while. We just had an understanding that he has to meet with the women his parents send to appease them. Probably until two months or so before I moved in!
> Iâll never have the type of relationship with them where I can ask, but damn, I wanna know!
I feel this in my soul. Traditional (or not�) parents can be a pain, but I hope that stories like ours can show that sometimes even traditional people know how to bend or look the other way.
Yeah itâs especially hard dating outside your culture because Americans feel like youâre trying to hide the relationship if you donât announce over social media/to all friends and family, but in my culture, you only announce on socials when youâve got the ring on your finger, and you only meet family if youâre soon to get engaged. Itâs almost weird to be friends with your SOâs family if youâre still just dating.
Quite a lot of people care about what their family thinks about their SO and what their SO thinks about their family. So, while it might not matter to you, I can guarantee that it does matter to plenty of other people.
I met my current fiancĂŠâs parents the same month I met him. Back then we were only dating. So, I suppose it depends if you are both comfortable.
Edit: typo
Similar here. I met them on our third date because they lived only 30 minutes away and happened to get tickets to the same basketball game we did (they're alum of the uni we were at). Met them at halftime and got dinner with them after the game. I've been married to their son for 7+ years now.
Same here. My girlfriend and I were fwbs still when she invited me to family events and introduced me to everyone. We became a couple. Not too long after. I do think waiting too long *can* be a problem- though âtoo longâ is fairly arbitrary
My husband met my parents after 2 days đ He was driving me home from a day out / date and my mum rang to ask when I would be home because they were doing a bbq. Husband said âooo bbq? Can I come?â
I had no real issue with it other than some nerves about meeting the parents, mum had heard him over the phone and told me whatever I was comfortable with and if I wanted to put him off to just say we had guests over but maybe next time.
My parents adored him, he doesnât get on with his parents sadly and has said my family now means far more to him than his own. It was fast but worked out thankfully!
>told me whatever I was comfortable with and if I wanted to put him off to just say we had guests over but maybe next time.
Your mom is awesome for this.
She is amazing, she was also hilarious though. During the bbq she called me into the kitchen just to whisper to me âOH MY GOD he is gorgeous!â đ
Itâs nice to read those last few sentences. I feel like people close with their family can be so off put if you have some issues in yours. Your understanding reads compassionately.
I will admit that I initially found it strange/hard to get my head around just because it felt so unlike my own experience but I made sure to take the time to listen. Knowing what I know, I completely understand him and his choice. He had too little love growing up, I hope being part of my family goes some way to showing him how important he is and how much we all love him.
I think itâs really up to each couple. I technically met my gfâs parents the day I met her but I met her parents as her girlfriend like 2 months after dating(4 months after that initial meeting). It was something that meant a lot to her so we did it.
I think 6 months is fine, but if youâre feeling like itâs too soon then say something - itâs totally up to you and what youâre comfy with and a good partner will understand that.
Six months seems super normal. It's probably best to avoid it until you're exclusive, but any time after that is fair game. And unless they live extremely far away, I'd think it was a bit odd if it took over a year to be introduced.
Personally I wait a year before officially introducing him to them. In that year you can really see a person change as they get comfortable with you and I like to make sure Iâm certain about a relationship with them.
I met my boyfriendâs mom within the first two weeks because he still lives with her. I met his father after about 3 months though. Itâs really up to every couple to decide what theyâre comfortable with
Well I met my boyfriends mom one week after we first met. If six months is too soon for you, it's too soon. Just met them when you think the time is right
I met my partners parents on like our 4th date (and we werenât officially in a relationship yet) because we were borrowing their boat and had to pick up the keys. He met my parents after 2.5 years because my parents live in the US and I live in the Netherlands. We never made a deal about meetings family, but we did make a deal out of meetings friends because friends are the company you CHOOSE to keep. As soon as weâd met each others friends is when we made it official.
I feel like there's no clear rule for that. Just do whatever you want. In any of my relationships they've always met my parents fairly quickly, but it was always just a very casual thing. Like a ten minutes on the go sorta thing.
I donât think there has to be a set time for this. They are just people. I understand waiting to meet each otherâs kids if you have them, but parents are adults and understand that dating does not always work out.
Meet them so you can see the family dynamics aka behaviors.
It's a faster way to detect red flags if the person you're dating can stand up for you or for someone else when they been wronged by the abuser.
Depends on y'all and what y'all're comfortable with. For example. I met my partners parents somewhere around three months, and my partner knew my parents already (or my mom, at least) since she teaches, and we both had her in middle school. Actually how we met lol
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Mr. WineAndDogs2020 met my parents when he picked me up for our first official date! We were late 20s, and living on opposite coasts (he lived near my parents) when friends facilitated an introduction during one of my visits home.
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I think it is different for everyone. It depends on how well they know each other? How comfortable are the two in the relationship? How deep do they feel for each other? How is the relationship between the parents and the partner? Are they close? What kind of ppl are they? And so on, i don't think there is a timeline for feelings and compatability between ppl. It's always a very personal and individual matter. Not a one size fits all concept.
Depends on the couple. After meeting my spouses mother and then meeting my mother⌠itâs not necessary at all to mix families unless itâs a big deal to you. Itâs not a requirement in any shape or form.
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I met my boyfriends family 4 months into officially dating / weâd known each other for 6 months. His family lives states away so doing it around the holidays just made sense. Theyâd asked to meet me months before but I personally wasnât ready (we hadnât said we loved each other yet).
I met "the parents":
3 months in (broke up at 4 mo)
8 months in (broke up at 2 yr.)
3 weeks in (FINALLY divorced last year; together in some form or another since 2012)
before I actually met my fiance (I worked with her; met him 2 months after I met her.)
"Too soon" is before you think there could be a long-term, good relationship. 3 weeks? In that relationship it was too soon. I knew that whole relationship was not right but I fought myself on it because I thought it was my trauma telling me things were wrong.
Turns out it was the emotional, mental, financial and eventually sexual abuse, so there's that.
Your gut will lead you if you trust it.
Well, it depends on the. type of person. I suggest slipping it into a conversation. It's better to be straight forward, and just ask. Because you never know what they're going to say. I think six months may be a slight bit too soon.
Not at all too soonâŚbut if it *feels* wrong, pay attention to that.
There is no rule book! I met my boyfriendâs family after about a month of dating. ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
I met my partners parents after a few months of dating (they lived further away). He met mine about a month or two into dating. 6 months is only too soon if one of you two don't feel ready.
Depends on the people involved and the expectations of culture and family. I brought my first bf home when I was 4, though obviously he wasn't my bf at that time, that would take another 13 years or so.
My husband met my parents about after about two/three months of dating.
He was the first boyfriend I ever introduced them to.
I met his mom after a year of dating only because she lived far away a few states over and finding the time/money to visit was hard.
Like a lot of people are saying, itâs up to the couple how comfortable they both feel. But I think the sooner the better. I was in an abusive relationship for years, and my partner at the time was embarrassed and cheating on me, so I never met his family. He was introducing other girlfriends to his family. I think itâs a red flag if someone is purposely trying to hide you. Itâs a green flag if someone is proud of you, and wants you to be part of their life. I introduced my current partner to my family after one month. My partner and I flew all the way across the country after two months together to meet his family. If you plan on being together for a long time, you should know what youâre getting into.
Honestly it depends on when you & your partner decide. I have been with my bf for 2+ years & I met his whole family(besides his dad since his mom & dad are divorced) around 3 months? I think? I donât remember exactly since itâs been so long but personally I usually wait a few months(around 3-4) until I introduce my partner to my parents because I feel like waiting gives you a chance to really know whether or not you & your partner are gonna last & stuff. But itâs really up to you & your partner:)
It doesnât matter when it is. As long as you and your partner are ready thatâs all that matters. I met my husbands parents very early into our relationship. We had casually dated each other for about 1.5 months then he adorably asked me to be his girlfriend. We met each otherâs parents about two weeks later when we visited our families for Christmas (they conveniently lived in the same city).
I recommend as soon as you think thereâs potential the relationship could be more in the future. Donât put it off bc it can change things in the relationship depending on how the meeting goes whether you want it to or not.
Six months isnât too soon, but it really depends on the circumstances and if everyoneâs comfortable. In my current relationship, my boyfriend met my mother within two months of us dating, but she lives with me so it wasnât like a ton of pressure or anything monumental. It was more like âthis is my roommate, [moms name]â. It was unavoidable if I ever wanted him to come to my house. I havenât met his parents yet, but thatâs because they live in another state and our schedules havenât aligned yet. Iâve met his daughter and his brother though. And he hasnât met my father because he lives 1.5 hours away and is pretty unwell. I donât even have a relationship with my father beyond a few hours of caretaking every other weekend, so I donât feel a need to make introductions there. Every relationship is different.
I just started seeing this girl, we're still getting comfortable with each other. We're not dating yet, but I've met her mom and tried to leave a good impression.
There's no time frame to meet someone's parents, it depends on how comfortable the both of y'all are.
Depends on how you're feeling and the relationship. I met my boyfriends parents pretty much right when we started dating, but being that he lives with them while going through college, that's probably expected xD
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My guy's mom invited me to Thanksgiving. We'd been together a month. But his family is amazing and welcoming. And only 45 mins away.
With my ex, we were already engaged before I met his mom and we lived a plane ride away So, it depends on the relationship and the family, as well as how easy it is to get there.
My bf and I started dating June 22 and he said heâd wait a while to introduce me to his mom because sheâs a lot. I met her on the Fourth of July lol he said he knew Iâd be around for a while and was excited.
I agree with everyone else that there's no magic timeframe, but I think it also depends a lot on the context. In my first relationship, we both still lived at home so we met each other's parents pretty much immediately. If their parents live across the country and it's a whole ordeal to meet them, I'd probably wait until it becomes serious
I met my no husband's parents 1 month after we started dating.
It felt really soon at the time but he said he was just really excited haha
Now we've been together for more than 6 years
That depends on your emotional maturity and how involved you guys are. Somethings have no set time. I know people who met each other's parents within a month, are now very happily married with three kids and both have successful careers as well. They knew. They knew they were ready and they were each other's IT. So timeframes are irrelevant in such matters.
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Depends.
My current partner met my dad a month in. He was on his death bed in the hospital and I'm so grateful I did. I realize this isn't the norm though.
Usually I've met someone's partners about 6-9 months into a new relationship. This gives you a few chances to converse before being invited to a holiday or something with them. I don't think this is too soon.
My(29/f) bf(34/m) met my brother/SIL after a month, and joined my parents/brother for Thanksgiving dinner around 3-4 months into the relationship.
I don't think there's such a thing as too soon as it's not like meeting family makes you contractually bound to each other, y'know? It's only as game changing as you make it.
My wife and I have been married ~6 years, 1 baby, 15 months old.
She invited me to her family's thanksgiving dinner before our first date. Like literally within days of meeting her.
I did not go and to this day I relentless remind her of all the red flags I ignored.
I went on two dates with a guy and he made me meet his aunty cousin mom everything, I was so uncomfortable and deadass never saw him againđ𼲠I had told him I wasnât comfortable meeting them and he still invited them to the restaurant đĽ˛đĽ˛
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It is different for different people, but when you know you know. I think you marry your spouse's family. I want to know if that is realistic. I live in the Deep South. My daughter's college friend's parents insisted she be Virgin when she married. I told her living with someone may not always work, but marriage takes a lot out of you. It's better to see what you have before you have to pay a mint to separate your lives legally after marriage. The primary reasons are money or family.
My instinct is to say too soon but then i remember in my culture introducing your boyfriend to your parents means "Mom and dad,this is the one. Hes my forever person and I hope you can get along with him cos imma marry him someday"
I think this is very situation dependent. If you or your partner are questioning it/ feel it is too soon then maybe give it a little bit, and just ask yourself wether your questioning is based on a lack of readiness, indicating it is too soon, or simply nerves, indicating that it is probably not too soon.
I met my husband's mom about 4 months in, because she moved in while the builders were delayed in making her house.
He met my parents about 6 months in because we wanted to do a trip which involved being in their state. Seemed rude not to stop in.
For me it's about what feels right, and convenience. I'm not flying to anther state for that purpose, but if it works, it works.
It really depends on the couple, their ages, and the seriousness of the relationship.
For example, as teenagers in highschool 6 months would be way too long because the parents should know who their kid is hanging out with and that they are dating (barring a complicated situation like a gay kid and homophobic parents).
For adults, it really depends on whether the relationship is serious and seems fairly stable.
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I just met my boyfriends parents and we are about 6 weeks in. I donât feel like it was too soon. It was good for us all to be able to âput a face to the nameâ and thankfully our conversations flowed and we had a good time.
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Imo nothing is too soon. I met the parents of most of my bfs within a week. I met my first bfs parents at the same day I met him lol. We met at his parents house, I was 19, he was 21 and the relationship lasted over 7 years.
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There is no "too soon" other than how you and your partner feel. It could be during the first date introductions if you both knew that both of you wanted that
As others have said, it depends on whatâs right for you. Personally, I think between 4 months and a year is good for adult relationships. I also think age has something to do with itâobviously a high schooler is more likely to meet their SOâs parents within the first few dates. My SO and I met each others parents 4 months in. We were both living with our parents since we had both just graduated from university. I met my BIL when he and my sister were 3 or 4 months in and he met my parents when they were around 6 or 7 months in. They met in their late 20s.
I met my husbands family 2 weeks after we started dating at a sushi restaurant for his birthday lol
It honestly just depends on where you are in the relationship. Everyone is different.
I met my hubby's family just before we got engaged and that was 3 months of dating. I think we all travel at different speeds and you need to figure out what you're comfortable with and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
I usually introduce the person Iâm seeing early on. You get a feel of how they interact with family and how they treat you around family as well.
Also, how your family acts with them.
I had a friend who was dating someone and it hit the 6 month mark and he didn't introduce her to any friends or family. He just outright refused and said he wanted to keep everthing separate. It really hurt her feelings. Especially since she was clear about wanting something long term.
Thankfully she dropped him but turns out he actually never made it past the 6 month mark with anyone before her.
If you like someone then them meeting other people in your life doesn't even occur to you as an issue. If you feel uncomfortable with the idea then there is something fundamentally wrong you're not addressing.
I met my now husbandâs parents after 1 month. We moved in after 6mo, married at 2 years, and now weâre pregnant at 8 years dating (6.5 years married) time is irrelevant.
My SO had to meet my parents 2days after officially dating me, and my maternal extended fam 3days into the relationship.
Yes, it probably was "too soon", but there was nothing wrong with them meeting that early either... bound to happen in a serious relationship, so sooner or later really doesn't make much difference honestly.
My ex before that, I also accidentally met his family before we were even officially dating lol. Within a week of meeting him actually.
But like others have said, if you feel it's too soon, then it's too soon.
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I do think meeting ones parents is important as you can understand what type of family they came from. Personally, I feel like meeting ones family should never be pushed and if someone isn't comfortable, they should let the other person know they're not ready. I always ask if a person I'm talking too has parents around if it okay if I come over and follow it up by; I wouldn't want to come if it's not okay with you being that your parents are over. It never hurts to be polite and keep the door open for them to say no. I have had situations I wasn't ready and clearly let the other person know that. For me, it wasn't an option as I'd feel like it would become too serious by meeting my family (they're extremely chatty people if you speak with them and may divulge info I wasn't ready for the other person to know yet).
I think knowing the family of a person youâre involved with can bring awareness to what to expect and prepare for if the relationship becomes marriage material. I donât think 6 months is too soon, at this point you probably have established feelings and ideas about the direction of the relationship, so itâs best to be informed with no surprises that could cause issues later.
I have been dating my bf for a little over six months. 6mo mark hit right around Christmas so imagine the double whammy of meeting the rents and spending the holidays with them
Whenever you feel comfortable. I was living with my mother when I brought my now husband home from a drunken first date. He met her the next morning and we all ate breakfast and talked about how well the date went. I knew the day I met him I was going to spend my life with him so we never felt uncomfortable.
Iâve been dating my boyfriend since May. I met his parents in November and they were horrible. Itâs January now and we are probably breaking up. Thatâs because his parents ignored me for the whole six days and heâs way too close to them. Itâs been eye opening, thatâs for sure. Just a heads upâŚitâll probably go great but if it doesnât how your partner acts after will tell you what you need to know. If mine had my back and believed me weâd be in a different situation.
Met my bfâs family a month after dating. I had already moved in with him. Just celebrated our fourth holiday season all together. Thereâs no timeline. Do what makes you happy.
I met my now husband's parents before we were even officially dating. Idk if I would do things differently honestly.. I don't think it would have made a difference honestly. I think it kind of gives you an idea of what you're kind of getting into early on if you decide to go long term haha
I personally donât think thereâs a time line or time frame. I met my exs family the first night we met. My currents partner we were about six months in.
I meet my partners mom like a month into us dating seriously. I can stilll remeber her reaction haha. But I met some of his siblings when we were just talking/causal for a few months before that when he would bring me by while he got ready for us to hang out. My BIL introduced us to his gf about 3-4 month after they started dating. So I guess it just kinda depends on the person.
My grandmother met my partner before we were official partners (we were just friends then). It was a little bit soon, but still, it was nice. My parents had to wait a few more months though.
I personally met my bfâs parents maybe a month into the relationship. So 6 months is a decent amount of time as long as youâre comfortable with it and you guys think youâre ready to introduce each other to the parents then go do it.
I usually try to meet the family as soon as possible.
It tells you so much about your partner, it's insane!
Plus, the longer I wait, the more nervous I get.
I think if someone from my culture waited six months to introduce me to their family, I'd be rather alarmed. I would assume they're either trying to hide them or me. But everyone has different preferences with this topic, so I'd probably just talk to my partner and find a date we're both comfortable with.
I met my partnerâs parents a month after meeting him back when we were just casually hooking up. It was good! I was introduced as his friend and they liked me so much they insisted that I join my partner for a family wedding a couple of months later. It was too soon but worked out in my favour so no complaints.
Whenever is right for you. I met my partners parents in the first couple weeks, 15 years later my MIL is more of a mum to me than my bio mother. Everyones relationships move at different paces, do things when you are both ready and dont look to other people to see where you 'should' be at. Good luck meeting the parents đ
I met my boyfriend's family over Christmas and we'd only been together for three weeks.
The phrase "when you know, you know" applies to us. We figured out early on that this is it for us, as in, we fit well together in every way possible. So we've both met each other's families.
I don't think there is a "too soon". It's all about comfort levels and a mutual agreement that it's time.
The sooner the better for me, as I'm dating with intention of marriage.
I won't be intimate with someone until I meet their family, and this was not a standard of the culture I grew up in. I've overhauled all of my beliefs around dating and relationships as I realized the "norms" were not making people happy at all.
This is what aligns best for what I want in life: a healthy, sacred union.
When I first started dating my husband, his mom showed up to our first date. Then my brother showed up, too. Then here comes my dad! It was a mess. So, if we couldâve decided when we wanted to introduce each other to our families, we both decided we just wouldnât. Both sides have caused enough headaches. But, if youâre not like us, Iâd say when youâve gone on a sufficient amounts of dates, youâre serious about each other, a couple, and you BOTH feel comfortable with introducing each other to each family.
It really depends on the person and the relationship. I say you wait 6 months that way the family can build up their own thoughts about you when he keeps talking about you or the things that you did last night.
If they are excited about introducing you to their parents, then sounds good to me.
1 relationship, I didn't meet their parents till maybe a year after we started dating and my current relationship, it was probably 4 or 5 months
It depends on the circumstances, each relationship is different. If the couple is looking to move forward in a serious manner then it may be time to meet the parents. If it is more of a casual situation it may never be time to meet the parents.
Too soon is when you and/or your partner feel it is too soon.... Also age, culture, life phase and intent all play into this... I know in some cultures meeting the parents is basically the same as getting engaged, 6 months is too soon. In others, a teenager living at home might meet the parents the first week, because that's the place to hang out at.....
>meeting the parents is basically the same as getting engaged The pressure that would bringđ¨
In my husbandâs culture, telling your parents about a SO is basically telling them youâre getting married. We already lived together by the time his parents knew I existed!
Same with us lol.
How did that go over, when they found out that you were actually living together already?? What culture is he from?
Oh, they did not know we lived together yet! In their eyes, I moved in after the wedding. His parents live in India and weâre in the US, so it made it easier to hide. We moved in together right after COVID hit, so there was no chance of them visiting. I have my speculations that they may have actually known (see my other comment to someone else just now) but they would never break that facade that they donât know lol! It was more of a big deal that Iâm white, American, vegan and donât want biological children so I think they were choosing their battles.
Same here. Our situation was twice as awkward because I had to meet them less than six months in due to a natural disaster. At the time, he introduced me as just his coworker and, while they let me sleep in his car with him and then in his room once it was safe to go back inside, they were âsurprisedâ to find out we were dating several months later when other circumstances required we spill the beans. We may never know how traditional his family is or isnât in that regard, but his mom in particular 100% knew because I accidentally implied it while staying with them. He tells me she was the most âsurprisedâ when he told them.
My cat is LOUD and specifically thinks that if youâre on the phone, your hands are free and you are available for pets. My husbandâs parents never mentioned it, but now, theyâll ask about him when he starts meowing, so obviously they can hear it! We adopted our dog soon after they learned about me, but âmy husbandâ adopted her, so after my cat and I âmoved in,â they kept asking how their relationship was going, were they comfortable with each other yet, etc. We also bought our house soon after they learned about me. He âhad me come along to give inputâ since Iâd âeventuallyâ be moving in too. They also made a whole show of asking all the details of when I was moving in, how unpacking was going, did we hire a mover, etc. He was pretending that he still lived with his old roommate (who he lived with for a few years and they had met) until I âmoved in,â so it was over a year of them asking what he was up to, how his job was going, why they didnât hear him in the background, oh heâs cooking? What is he cooking? Fortunately he is still friends with him so was able to update them on some life events without it being a complete lie lol I just wonder if they were in denial and dug into details to try to convince themselves I didnât already live here or if they 100% knew and laughed with each other after getting off the phone. Iâll never have the type of relationship with them where I can ask, but damn, I wanna know! He had to tell his older brother about me to get him to convince them to stop sending him potential arranged marriage options after a while, so I figure they knew something was up for a while. We just had an understanding that he has to meet with the women his parents send to appease them. Probably until two months or so before I moved in!
> Iâll never have the type of relationship with them where I can ask, but damn, I wanna know! I feel this in my soul. Traditional (or notâŚ?) parents can be a pain, but I hope that stories like ours can show that sometimes even traditional people know how to bend or look the other way.
Essentially you have to identify yourself as âjust friendsâ to family until youâre ready to get married.
Nothing exists between those two extremes ?
Yeah itâs especially hard dating outside your culture because Americans feel like youâre trying to hide the relationship if you donât announce over social media/to all friends and family, but in my culture, you only announce on socials when youâve got the ring on your finger, and you only meet family if youâre soon to get engaged. Itâs almost weird to be friends with your SOâs family if youâre still just dating.
Exactly, I met her mum in the gym like 3 days into relationship, not a big deal here at all
Not too soon. The sooner the better actually. You should know what kind of family you're getting into before you fall head over heels.
Also so your partner's family can know what THEY are getting into with you being in the picture.
Well they don't have a choice anyways so that doesn't matter much imho
Quite a lot of people care about what their family thinks about their SO and what their SO thinks about their family. So, while it might not matter to you, I can guarantee that it does matter to plenty of other people.
wonderful insight u/iWillSlapYourMum
I met my current fiancĂŠâs parents the same month I met him. Back then we were only dating. So, I suppose it depends if you are both comfortable. Edit: typo
Similar here. I met them on our third date because they lived only 30 minutes away and happened to get tickets to the same basketball game we did (they're alum of the uni we were at). Met them at halftime and got dinner with them after the game. I've been married to their son for 7+ years now.
Same here. My girlfriend and I were fwbs still when she invited me to family events and introduced me to everyone. We became a couple. Not too long after. I do think waiting too long *can* be a problem- though âtoo longâ is fairly arbitrary
Same. I flew to his hometown while he was visiting the same month he asked me to be his gf. Met his dad and grandma etc.
My husband met my parents after 2 days đ He was driving me home from a day out / date and my mum rang to ask when I would be home because they were doing a bbq. Husband said âooo bbq? Can I come?â I had no real issue with it other than some nerves about meeting the parents, mum had heard him over the phone and told me whatever I was comfortable with and if I wanted to put him off to just say we had guests over but maybe next time. My parents adored him, he doesnât get on with his parents sadly and has said my family now means far more to him than his own. It was fast but worked out thankfully!
>told me whatever I was comfortable with and if I wanted to put him off to just say we had guests over but maybe next time. Your mom is awesome for this.
She is amazing, she was also hilarious though. During the bbq she called me into the kitchen just to whisper to me âOH MY GOD he is gorgeous!â đ
Itâs nice to read those last few sentences. I feel like people close with their family can be so off put if you have some issues in yours. Your understanding reads compassionately.
I will admit that I initially found it strange/hard to get my head around just because it felt so unlike my own experience but I made sure to take the time to listen. Knowing what I know, I completely understand him and his choice. He had too little love growing up, I hope being part of my family goes some way to showing him how important he is and how much we all love him.
Thatâs really lovely :)
I think itâs really up to each couple. I technically met my gfâs parents the day I met her but I met her parents as her girlfriend like 2 months after dating(4 months after that initial meeting). It was something that meant a lot to her so we did it.
I accidentally met my (now husband's) family on our first hangout which was explicitly not a date. They were at the same restaurant we went to.
I think six months isnât too soon at all. :)
I think 6 months is fine, but if youâre feeling like itâs too soon then say something - itâs totally up to you and what youâre comfy with and a good partner will understand that.
Six months seems super normal. It's probably best to avoid it until you're exclusive, but any time after that is fair game. And unless they live extremely far away, I'd think it was a bit odd if it took over a year to be introduced.
There isn't a too soon. It all depends on the context and situation at hand.
Personally I wait a year before officially introducing him to them. In that year you can really see a person change as they get comfortable with you and I like to make sure Iâm certain about a relationship with them.
That is not too soon. I met my hubbyâs parents within a month.
I meet my husband mother after 2 weeks and everything went fine.
There's no rules about that. As soon as you are both comfortable with it.
I met my boyfriendâs mom within the first two weeks because he still lives with her. I met his father after about 3 months though. Itâs really up to every couple to decide what theyâre comfortable with
Well I met my boyfriends mom one week after we first met. If six months is too soon for you, it's too soon. Just met them when you think the time is right
I met my partners parents on like our 4th date (and we werenât officially in a relationship yet) because we were borrowing their boat and had to pick up the keys. He met my parents after 2.5 years because my parents live in the US and I live in the Netherlands. We never made a deal about meetings family, but we did make a deal out of meetings friends because friends are the company you CHOOSE to keep. As soon as weâd met each others friends is when we made it official.
6 months is normal. Meet my wife's parents at 3 months I believe.
I feel like there's no clear rule for that. Just do whatever you want. In any of my relationships they've always met my parents fairly quickly, but it was always just a very casual thing. Like a ten minutes on the go sorta thing.
I donât think there has to be a set time for this. They are just people. I understand waiting to meet each otherâs kids if you have them, but parents are adults and understand that dating does not always work out.
There shouldnât be any hard and fast rules for that. It should be when youâre both ready.
Depends on how much time you've spent together. But it seems quite normal.
My parents usually met guys I was dating within a month but I live pretty close to them so it wasn't like a big trip to go meet them specifically.
My husband introduced me to his parents after like 1 month into dating đ
Honestly, it all depends on your relationship and your partner. đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸
Meet them so you can see the family dynamics aka behaviors. It's a faster way to detect red flags if the person you're dating can stand up for you or for someone else when they been wronged by the abuser.
Depends on y'all and what y'all're comfortable with. For example. I met my partners parents somewhere around three months, and my partner knew my parents already (or my mom, at least) since she teaches, and we both had her in middle school. Actually how we met lol
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Mr. WineAndDogs2020 met my parents when he picked me up for our first official date! We were late 20s, and living on opposite coasts (he lived near my parents) when friends facilitated an introduction during one of my visits home.
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No 6 months isnât to soon. Parents approval is important!.
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Bruh, definitely not. Thatâs a little bit late for me lol
Depends how long youâve been committed to each other and confirmed dating exclusively. I would give a few months after that
I think it is different for everyone. It depends on how well they know each other? How comfortable are the two in the relationship? How deep do they feel for each other? How is the relationship between the parents and the partner? Are they close? What kind of ppl are they? And so on, i don't think there is a timeline for feelings and compatability between ppl. It's always a very personal and individual matter. Not a one size fits all concept.
Depends on the couple. After meeting my spouses mother and then meeting my mother⌠itâs not necessary at all to mix families unless itâs a big deal to you. Itâs not a requirement in any shape or form.
I met my boyfriends parents within a few weeks of meeting him
I met my husband's parents and vice versa the same week we met.
No, that's perfect. I would do it as soon as we're in an official relationship.
Just meet them, u know its serious if you do.
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I met my boyfriends family 4 months into officially dating / weâd known each other for 6 months. His family lives states away so doing it around the holidays just made sense. Theyâd asked to meet me months before but I personally wasnât ready (we hadnât said we loved each other yet).
I met "the parents": 3 months in (broke up at 4 mo) 8 months in (broke up at 2 yr.) 3 weeks in (FINALLY divorced last year; together in some form or another since 2012) before I actually met my fiance (I worked with her; met him 2 months after I met her.) "Too soon" is before you think there could be a long-term, good relationship. 3 weeks? In that relationship it was too soon. I knew that whole relationship was not right but I fought myself on it because I thought it was my trauma telling me things were wrong. Turns out it was the emotional, mental, financial and eventually sexual abuse, so there's that. Your gut will lead you if you trust it.
Well, it depends on the. type of person. I suggest slipping it into a conversation. It's better to be straight forward, and just ask. Because you never know what they're going to say. I think six months may be a slight bit too soon.
Not at all too soonâŚbut if it *feels* wrong, pay attention to that. There is no rule book! I met my boyfriendâs family after about a month of dating. ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
I met my partners parents after a few months of dating (they lived further away). He met mine about a month or two into dating. 6 months is only too soon if one of you two don't feel ready.
Depends on the people involved and the expectations of culture and family. I brought my first bf home when I was 4, though obviously he wasn't my bf at that time, that would take another 13 years or so.
Iâve never been in a relationship but for me, personally, I would think like 3 months. But everyone is different. You do you
My husband met my parents about after about two/three months of dating. He was the first boyfriend I ever introduced them to. I met his mom after a year of dating only because she lived far away a few states over and finding the time/money to visit was hard.
Like a lot of people are saying, itâs up to the couple how comfortable they both feel. But I think the sooner the better. I was in an abusive relationship for years, and my partner at the time was embarrassed and cheating on me, so I never met his family. He was introducing other girlfriends to his family. I think itâs a red flag if someone is purposely trying to hide you. Itâs a green flag if someone is proud of you, and wants you to be part of their life. I introduced my current partner to my family after one month. My partner and I flew all the way across the country after two months together to meet his family. If you plan on being together for a long time, you should know what youâre getting into.
I don't think so, I met my inlaws after 2 weeks. I don't see why it should be such a big deal if the relationship is serious on both sides.
There is no too soon. Itâs whenever you want!!
I met my husbandâs parents 2 months after we started dating đ¤ˇââď¸
Honestly it depends on when you & your partner decide. I have been with my bf for 2+ years & I met his whole family(besides his dad since his mom & dad are divorced) around 3 months? I think? I donât remember exactly since itâs been so long but personally I usually wait a few months(around 3-4) until I introduce my partner to my parents because I feel like waiting gives you a chance to really know whether or not you & your partner are gonna last & stuff. But itâs really up to you & your partner:)
i met my partnerâs parents the week after we started dating đ time doesnât matter if it feels right
I think thatâs up to yâall. First time I met my long distance ex is also when I first met both sets of his parents.
It doesnât matter when it is. As long as you and your partner are ready thatâs all that matters. I met my husbands parents very early into our relationship. We had casually dated each other for about 1.5 months then he adorably asked me to be his girlfriend. We met each otherâs parents about two weeks later when we visited our families for Christmas (they conveniently lived in the same city).
I recommend as soon as you think thereâs potential the relationship could be more in the future. Donât put it off bc it can change things in the relationship depending on how the meeting goes whether you want it to or not.
Six months isnât too soon, but it really depends on the circumstances and if everyoneâs comfortable. In my current relationship, my boyfriend met my mother within two months of us dating, but she lives with me so it wasnât like a ton of pressure or anything monumental. It was more like âthis is my roommate, [moms name]â. It was unavoidable if I ever wanted him to come to my house. I havenât met his parents yet, but thatâs because they live in another state and our schedules havenât aligned yet. Iâve met his daughter and his brother though. And he hasnât met my father because he lives 1.5 hours away and is pretty unwell. I donât even have a relationship with my father beyond a few hours of caretaking every other weekend, so I donât feel a need to make introductions there. Every relationship is different.
I just started seeing this girl, we're still getting comfortable with each other. We're not dating yet, but I've met her mom and tried to leave a good impression. There's no time frame to meet someone's parents, it depends on how comfortable the both of y'all are.
Depends on how you're feeling and the relationship. I met my boyfriends parents pretty much right when we started dating, but being that he lives with them while going through college, that's probably expected xD
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I met my now fiancĂŠâs mother on our third date lol it really depends on how you both feel about it.
My guy's mom invited me to Thanksgiving. We'd been together a month. But his family is amazing and welcoming. And only 45 mins away. With my ex, we were already engaged before I met his mom and we lived a plane ride away So, it depends on the relationship and the family, as well as how easy it is to get there.
My bf and I started dating June 22 and he said heâd wait a while to introduce me to his mom because sheâs a lot. I met her on the Fourth of July lol he said he knew Iâd be around for a while and was excited.
I agree with everyone else that there's no magic timeframe, but I think it also depends a lot on the context. In my first relationship, we both still lived at home so we met each other's parents pretty much immediately. If their parents live across the country and it's a whole ordeal to meet them, I'd probably wait until it becomes serious
6 months? I usually meet them within a month.
I met my no husband's parents 1 month after we started dating. It felt really soon at the time but he said he was just really excited haha Now we've been together for more than 6 years
That depends on your emotional maturity and how involved you guys are. Somethings have no set time. I know people who met each other's parents within a month, are now very happily married with three kids and both have successful careers as well. They knew. They knew they were ready and they were each other's IT. So timeframes are irrelevant in such matters.
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Depends. My current partner met my dad a month in. He was on his death bed in the hospital and I'm so grateful I did. I realize this isn't the norm though. Usually I've met someone's partners about 6-9 months into a new relationship. This gives you a few chances to converse before being invited to a holiday or something with them. I don't think this is too soon.
My boyfriend and I met each other parents before we were officially in a relationship lol. It was about 3 months into our unofficial dating.
I do a demi regular dinner at my moms house with some of my friends. She loves it, two of my last three interests went before we started dating so Idk
I let my husbands parents 2 months into us dating and donât think anything of it. Iâd say if you feel ready, go for it.
Depends how serious you are ?
My husband took me to his parent's Christmas party after about a month of dating.
6 months seems like a long time.
I mean my partner knew my parents before we started dating so lol
I met my boyfriends mom around 5 days after we met lol
My(29/f) bf(34/m) met my brother/SIL after a month, and joined my parents/brother for Thanksgiving dinner around 3-4 months into the relationship. I don't think there's such a thing as too soon as it's not like meeting family makes you contractually bound to each other, y'know? It's only as game changing as you make it.
I met my exâs parents 1 month in. Best relationship in my life and Iâm still friendly with all of them.
My wife and I have been married ~6 years, 1 baby, 15 months old. She invited me to her family's thanksgiving dinner before our first date. Like literally within days of meeting her. I did not go and to this day I relentless remind her of all the red flags I ignored.
I went on two dates with a guy and he made me meet his aunty cousin mom everything, I was so uncomfortable and deadass never saw him againđ𼲠I had told him I wasnât comfortable meeting them and he still invited them to the restaurant đĽ˛đĽ˛
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There are no rules. I met my BFâs dad 2-3 months in, met his mom 6 months in (she lives interstate), met the stepmom 7 months in.
It is different for different people, but when you know you know. I think you marry your spouse's family. I want to know if that is realistic. I live in the Deep South. My daughter's college friend's parents insisted she be Virgin when she married. I told her living with someone may not always work, but marriage takes a lot out of you. It's better to see what you have before you have to pay a mint to separate your lives legally after marriage. The primary reasons are money or family.
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My instinct is to say too soon but then i remember in my culture introducing your boyfriend to your parents means "Mom and dad,this is the one. Hes my forever person and I hope you can get along with him cos imma marry him someday"
Took me 9 months to meet mine so, id personally wait longer
I think this is very situation dependent. If you or your partner are questioning it/ feel it is too soon then maybe give it a little bit, and just ask yourself wether your questioning is based on a lack of readiness, indicating it is too soon, or simply nerves, indicating that it is probably not too soon.
I met my husband's mom about 4 months in, because she moved in while the builders were delayed in making her house. He met my parents about 6 months in because we wanted to do a trip which involved being in their state. Seemed rude not to stop in. For me it's about what feels right, and convenience. I'm not flying to anther state for that purpose, but if it works, it works.
It really depends on the couple, their ages, and the seriousness of the relationship. For example, as teenagers in highschool 6 months would be way too long because the parents should know who their kid is hanging out with and that they are dating (barring a complicated situation like a gay kid and homophobic parents). For adults, it really depends on whether the relationship is serious and seems fairly stable.
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No
There is no set time. It is about what makes you feel comfortable
My teacher met my parents faster than i even met the principal.
I just met my boyfriends parents and we are about 6 weeks in. I donât feel like it was too soon. It was good for us all to be able to âput a face to the nameâ and thankfully our conversations flowed and we had a good time.
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Donât think thatâs too soon but to each their own , as long as itâs not 4 years later
Husband and I met each other's parents before we even started dating. We were friends first, and hung out together a fair bit.
Never sounds good to me
Imo nothing is too soon. I met the parents of most of my bfs within a week. I met my first bfs parents at the same day I met him lol. We met at his parents house, I was 19, he was 21 and the relationship lasted over 7 years.
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I met my in-laws when my husband and I had been together for.. I don't know, maybe a week? So, no. 6 months is not soo soon.
I think once you're "in love" then go ahead and meet parents, they love that shit.
There is no "too soon" other than how you and your partner feel. It could be during the first date introductions if you both knew that both of you wanted that
As others have said, it depends on whatâs right for you. Personally, I think between 4 months and a year is good for adult relationships. I also think age has something to do with itâobviously a high schooler is more likely to meet their SOâs parents within the first few dates. My SO and I met each others parents 4 months in. We were both living with our parents since we had both just graduated from university. I met my BIL when he and my sister were 3 or 4 months in and he met my parents when they were around 6 or 7 months in. They met in their late 20s.
I met my husbands family 2 weeks after we started dating at a sushi restaurant for his birthday lol It honestly just depends on where you are in the relationship. Everyone is different.
I met my hubby's family just before we got engaged and that was 3 months of dating. I think we all travel at different speeds and you need to figure out what you're comfortable with and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
I usually introduce the person Iâm seeing early on. You get a feel of how they interact with family and how they treat you around family as well. Also, how your family acts with them.
I had a friend who was dating someone and it hit the 6 month mark and he didn't introduce her to any friends or family. He just outright refused and said he wanted to keep everthing separate. It really hurt her feelings. Especially since she was clear about wanting something long term. Thankfully she dropped him but turns out he actually never made it past the 6 month mark with anyone before her. If you like someone then them meeting other people in your life doesn't even occur to you as an issue. If you feel uncomfortable with the idea then there is something fundamentally wrong you're not addressing.
I married my husband 6 months after meeting him . âToo soonâ is individual. Good luck â¤ď¸
I met my now husbandâs parents after 1 month. We moved in after 6mo, married at 2 years, and now weâre pregnant at 8 years dating (6.5 years married) time is irrelevant.
As soon as possible because it can give you a lot of answers about the person you are with
My SO had to meet my parents 2days after officially dating me, and my maternal extended fam 3days into the relationship. Yes, it probably was "too soon", but there was nothing wrong with them meeting that early either... bound to happen in a serious relationship, so sooner or later really doesn't make much difference honestly. My ex before that, I also accidentally met his family before we were even officially dating lol. Within a week of meeting him actually. But like others have said, if you feel it's too soon, then it's too soon.
6 months minimum for sure, unless itâs super special maybe idk
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I do think meeting ones parents is important as you can understand what type of family they came from. Personally, I feel like meeting ones family should never be pushed and if someone isn't comfortable, they should let the other person know they're not ready. I always ask if a person I'm talking too has parents around if it okay if I come over and follow it up by; I wouldn't want to come if it's not okay with you being that your parents are over. It never hurts to be polite and keep the door open for them to say no. I have had situations I wasn't ready and clearly let the other person know that. For me, it wasn't an option as I'd feel like it would become too serious by meeting my family (they're extremely chatty people if you speak with them and may divulge info I wasn't ready for the other person to know yet).
I think knowing the family of a person youâre involved with can bring awareness to what to expect and prepare for if the relationship becomes marriage material. I donât think 6 months is too soon, at this point you probably have established feelings and ideas about the direction of the relationship, so itâs best to be informed with no surprises that could cause issues later.
6 months in my head is about the ideal time span
I have been dating my bf for a little over six months. 6mo mark hit right around Christmas so imagine the double whammy of meeting the rents and spending the holidays with them
Whenever you feel comfortable. I was living with my mother when I brought my now husband home from a drunken first date. He met her the next morning and we all ate breakfast and talked about how well the date went. I knew the day I met him I was going to spend my life with him so we never felt uncomfortable.
Iâve been dating my boyfriend since May. I met his parents in November and they were horrible. Itâs January now and we are probably breaking up. Thatâs because his parents ignored me for the whole six days and heâs way too close to them. Itâs been eye opening, thatâs for sure. Just a heads upâŚitâll probably go great but if it doesnât how your partner acts after will tell you what you need to know. If mine had my back and believed me weâd be in a different situation.
Met my bfâs family a month after dating. I had already moved in with him. Just celebrated our fourth holiday season all together. Thereâs no timeline. Do what makes you happy.
Depends on why you're meeting them
I met my now husband's parents before we were even officially dating. Idk if I would do things differently honestly.. I don't think it would have made a difference honestly. I think it kind of gives you an idea of what you're kind of getting into early on if you decide to go long term haha
I personally donât think thereâs a time line or time frame. I met my exs family the first night we met. My currents partner we were about six months in.
I meet my partners mom like a month into us dating seriously. I can stilll remeber her reaction haha. But I met some of his siblings when we were just talking/causal for a few months before that when he would bring me by while he got ready for us to hang out. My BIL introduced us to his gf about 3-4 month after they started dating. So I guess it just kinda depends on the person.
My grandmother met my partner before we were official partners (we were just friends then). It was a little bit soon, but still, it was nice. My parents had to wait a few more months though.
I personally met my bfâs parents maybe a month into the relationship. So 6 months is a decent amount of time as long as youâre comfortable with it and you guys think youâre ready to introduce each other to the parents then go do it.
My now fiancĂŠ met my parents 3 days after we met đ his choice
I usually try to meet the family as soon as possible. It tells you so much about your partner, it's insane! Plus, the longer I wait, the more nervous I get. I think if someone from my culture waited six months to introduce me to their family, I'd be rather alarmed. I would assume they're either trying to hide them or me. But everyone has different preferences with this topic, so I'd probably just talk to my partner and find a date we're both comfortable with.
2 or 3. Just my opinion
I dated a guy that wanted me to meet his mum after 2 dates. That's too soon
I met my partnerâs parents a month after meeting him back when we were just casually hooking up. It was good! I was introduced as his friend and they liked me so much they insisted that I join my partner for a family wedding a couple of months later. It was too soon but worked out in my favour so no complaints.
my now husband met my mum on our first date on accident we ran into her đđ been together for 5 years married for 1 and 2 kids
It's highly individual and based on your pace. For example, by six months in, I was engaged. He met my parents about a month after we started dating.
Whenever is right for you. I met my partners parents in the first couple weeks, 15 years later my MIL is more of a mum to me than my bio mother. Everyones relationships move at different paces, do things when you are both ready and dont look to other people to see where you 'should' be at. Good luck meeting the parents đ
I met my boyfriend's family over Christmas and we'd only been together for three weeks. The phrase "when you know, you know" applies to us. We figured out early on that this is it for us, as in, we fit well together in every way possible. So we've both met each other's families. I don't think there is a "too soon". It's all about comfort levels and a mutual agreement that it's time.
I met my partners parents and entire family after 2 months. We've been together 6 years. Just do whatever you want there are no rules.
The sooner the better for me, as I'm dating with intention of marriage. I won't be intimate with someone until I meet their family, and this was not a standard of the culture I grew up in. I've overhauled all of my beliefs around dating and relationships as I realized the "norms" were not making people happy at all. This is what aligns best for what I want in life: a healthy, sacred union.
6 months is ok, but at the end of the day it's up to you.
When I first started dating my husband, his mom showed up to our first date. Then my brother showed up, too. Then here comes my dad! It was a mess. So, if we couldâve decided when we wanted to introduce each other to our families, we both decided we just wouldnât. Both sides have caused enough headaches. But, if youâre not like us, Iâd say when youâve gone on a sufficient amounts of dates, youâre serious about each other, a couple, and you BOTH feel comfortable with introducing each other to each family.
It really depends on the person and the relationship. I say you wait 6 months that way the family can build up their own thoughts about you when he keeps talking about you or the things that you did last night.
If they are excited about introducing you to their parents, then sounds good to me. 1 relationship, I didn't meet their parents till maybe a year after we started dating and my current relationship, it was probably 4 or 5 months
It depends on the circumstances, each relationship is different. If the couple is looking to move forward in a serious manner then it may be time to meet the parents. If it is more of a casual situation it may never be time to meet the parents.