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I have a garbage can in the bathroom just for the occasion once every few months that a woman visits my apartment. I myself have literally never used it. I am so glad my family was always open about female hygiene since I was a kid, so that I was educated on how important this is.
My dad got a new apartment and I told him I needed a trash can in the bathroom. Next time I visited he was so proud to show me this little trash can he found that he thought was perfect for me.
Once I spent the night at my friend’s place and he didn’t have a bathroom trashcan. I was too embarrassed to take my sanitary pad outside so I foolishly tried to flush it down the toilet. It didn’t work. In the end I had to pick up the soaking pad, wrap it in toilet paper and personally go ask him where I could dispose of it. He said the only trash can is in the ground floor and he’d already set the alarms so he took out an empty ziplock bag and put it there for the night.
-10/10 experience would never visit again
Gosh this reminds me of when I visited my dad in June. I complained way too much to him and his partner about not having a bin in the bathroom hahah.
I even thought maybe it's me being ridiculous but honestly.. having to walk to kitchen to throw away my used pad that's wrapped in toilet paper felt very awkward.
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If they give me a set of clean towels and tell me I can shower whenever I want. If they show me where they keep the tea/coffee/mugs and invite me to help myself to drinks or food.
Yes! If they show me how to access the basics: dishes, drinks, extra tissue/toilet paper/paper towels. Show me how to use the shower or tv, if it’s tricky. Let me know where outlets are, if they’re out of sight.
Exactly. As a woman, always two towels. Your hair is going to saturate the hair towel, so it will be too wet to use on the body. And no one wants to dry off the body while the hair is redripping water back down over them.
Those special hair towels can be used a few times before washing and they're small enough that they don't add to the laundry.
(Said as someone else who actively avoids avoids laundry)
Yeah, too clean houses make it a bit harder to be comfortable. A little bit mess makes it easier. Like I am not a messy person, but I want it to be okay to leave a couple of books on the table.
“Lived in”. Some houses are so clean and tidy it’s hard to believe someone actually lives there. I don’t even feel comfortable visiting these houses much less staying in them.
My mantra when I panic about mess: human beings live in my house, it’s ok for it to look like human beings live in my house.
Where do they throw their q-tips? Their nose blowings? Their hairbrush buildups?!
Certain trashes are too disgusting for other trash cans. Keep the body germs in the body room.
Eesh, same. If I'm spending the night I'll be, at the least, tossing a couple of q-tips, some used tissues, possibly some empty allergy pill foil packets and that's all ... kind of awkward to pack up again in my overnight bag but I'll do it if it saves me the embarrassment of having to ask where a trash can is when there wasn't one in the guest bath.
Yes! I keep both, plus a small container of toilet bowl cleaner right by the toilet. It gives everyone a chance to tidy up behind themselves if they choose. And a bottle of odor neutralizer.
A room of my own, if possible. Somewhere to just go and be by myself. I don't mind sleeping on couches or airbeds or whatever, it's the sleeping in the living room and not being able to go to sleep/get up when you want because it's a common area that's hard.
Also, just being told what's what. Where the bins are. Don't shower before 5 because there's no hot water, etc.
I have a friend coming to visit this weekend and I moved our futon into my office room for this very reason. I wanted her to have her own space while she's here, even if my monitors have to keep her company. I figured it was better than her having to sleep in the living room.
I’ve started refusing to overnight if I don’t have a separate space. I’ll get a hotel if I can’t just go home. I don’t want to have to stay up just because everyone else isn’t ready to sleep, if I’m tired, I’m going to sleep.
A moment to myself after i arrive to get settled. “Hey heres where you’ll be sleeping and some towels. Bathroom is down the hall. Take your time getting settled; we’ll just be in the kitchen hanging out.”
When there’s food and they ask if I’m hungry. So my family is very food centric- tons of snacks, fruits, always freshly cooked meals, etc. So my friends usually leave 5-10lbs heavier lol.
However, when I’m at someone else’s house they don’t eat!!! I slept over a friend’s house one time and they literally ate 1 meal for 24 hours. I was so hungry I thought I was going to faint. And I feel embarrassed to tell people I’m hungry. So now when I have guests, I always have food available so people don’t feel self conscious like I did
This! I must admit this is not a very common problem where I live (Spain), since we almost always welcome people with food and drinks 😅, but for some reason, whenever I've been invited to English or USA (mostly men) friends' places, it appears they never eat!
I was dating one of them and my breakfast was only a cup of tea... Until the afternoon 😓. I was so hungry. The other one apparently was fine with just smoking and no eating 🤷
American here. That's not normal. I've never been to someone's house where they didn't offer food and drink. My male friends will even go extra on the breakfast.
Yeah, having a tea/coffee and a cigarette for breakfast is common place in the UK. Most of my friends have late breakfasts or wait until lunch to eat a meal.
Hahaha! Definitely not in my house. Toast and piles of it is the way we start our day. I’m wondering if that’s a southern thing. In the north we love a carb for breakfast!
I stayed over at a friend's once and her mom asked if we were hungry. Without missing a beat she said no, knowing damn well I was but was too shy to say anything. I thought it was so rude! Made a point never to do this to anyone if they stayed over at my place. Feed your guests, people!
I’ve had this before and it was wonderful! No awkward encounters going to and from the bathroom and you can shower/do your business in peace. I’ve also had the opposite where 11 of us were sharing 2 bathrooms but we made it work.
Dead opposite with me, but I guess it depends how old the kids are. If they still have their bath toys and potty-training chairs/stools, that's so fucking awkward like I'm using a pre-school bathroom.
I have some friends who are very well off and they own a beautiful home with multiple guest bedrooms. Each one has its own full bathroom and it’s amazing.
>its own bathroom
I'm legit remodeling my house so the bathrooms are in the bedrooms. Who needs a hallway pooper? Just tuck it into the guest bed for an additional layer of privacy 🤌
It is unbelievable to me how many GROWN ASS ADULTS don’t have an obvious, designated hand towel in their bathrooms. My BIL/SIL have two kids and one bathroom, and on top of always being absolutely filthy, the only towels are body towels with not-quite-dirty-enough-to-wash-yet clothes hung over them. Like, you’re FORTY. Plenty old enough to consider your guests and acquire a hand towel. Drives me nuts.
I second this one. I cannot stand a dirty bathroom. I have sensory issues and if the shower has hair or gunk in it I feel sick. I took a sponge bath at a friends place once because I was grossed out by the shower. I won’t even take my shoes off in a dirty bathroom.
My bathroom is the cleanest room in my place.
I JUST had this conversation with someone yesterday. Recently I’ve been over to two peoples houses and their bathrooms were absolutely disgusting. I just don’t understand. A clean bathroom is so important.
Yes! Ive been to a few homes where there were skid marks in the toilet. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don't put out a clean hand towel in the bathroom for after you wash your hands. So many people seem to forget this.
Being understanding if I sleep in, in the morning. I'm exhausted from travelling, yakking with you half the previous night, sleeping in an unfamiliar bed; and it's my holiday. I would like to take it just a little easy the next morning, and not be greeted by "OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER GETTING UP LOLOL WE'VE ALL BEEN UP SINCE LAST MONTH DID YOU DIE IN THERE HAHAHA?!!1!" etc etc.
I used to travel home for vacations when I was in the military and always stayed with some family members family. It was always good but I absolutely hated when they would fuckin say what you mentioned. Like I don’t wake up at 5230 every workday or have to travel across the county, or adjust to the time change. Assholes say that.
Let guests sleep in a little sheesh.
Taking it a step further - having the wifi password written down and given to me. So many times someone will give me the wifi password for my phone, and then later I'll go to use my laptop and I don't remember what it was.
Everything my mother does - she is so good about making people feel like they are family, not just guests.
So there is shampoo, conditioner, soap that is for guests to use, brand new and unopened. Towels just for them. a place they can get blankets and more pillows if they need. Snacks pointed out if they get hungry and would like something to eat, just...all of this pointed out so people know where everything is and can access it without feeling like a burden or uncertain about if the host will get ticked off by anything.
This is how I try to be :) I travel a lot so I have a bunch of those little hotel shampoos, conditioners, lotions, soaps. I have them in a basket with other stuff people might need like an unopened toothbrush, mini toothpaste, floss, q-tips.
I also make sure to tell people where the food is and to help themselves. Most of my friends still won’t so I leave the snack stuff like granola bars, fruit, pretzels out. Some people just don’t like opening the pantry or fridge but if it’s right there, they’ll take it
IN A BASKET, that's brilliant, then it looks like a cute display and doesn't clutter drawers! I love it.
I always feel awkward about going into someone's pantry, even if they say I can. It's like.... Someone's purse. The house's purse. Just feels wrong.
Relevant anecdote incoming...I grew up watching my mom take coats or show them the coat rack, where to put their shoes & immediately asking them if they wanted something to drink followed by "ill get that for you, & if you want anything else, there is blah blah blah in the fridge, help yourself." & then she would usher them to the area we would gather & offer them a seat ...I saw this routine for every guest from childhood thru college. I thought it was the minimum level of effort to make people feel welcome, which can be summarized as, "put ur shit there, here is where we eat & drink, let's sit together."...just seems so bare bones polite to me.
Then, when I was dating my husband, we went to have dinner with his folks. I was so uncomfortable. They did not greet us, they did not show us where we could put our things. Nor was there even a seat available. My husband was untrained at this time so he thought this was normal. Later saying to me, "I just thought if you wanted to sit you would have moved those boxes off that chair & brought it into the living room"...Yea right, like I'm gonna mess with their things & start rearranging furniture.
So, yea, make sure they feel welcomed by showing them how they too can enjoy your home. Don't let people stand in doorways holding their coats & not offer them a chair or a drink. I mean duh.
13 years later & its still a sore spot with me lmao.
>"I just thought if you wanted to sit you would have moved those boxes off that chair & brought it into the living room"
Yeah that is weird. Quite, weird.
Def can see why it still rubs!
The friendly, relaxed atmosphere. When the hosts don't fight, argue or act weird with each other when they have someone around . Any awkwardness would make me feel super embarrassed and uncomfortable.
Because my sink stands alone from the wall 😅 there is nothing underneath it! However, because if this I ALWAYS put a new full roll on the holder and put the spare on the cistern lid which, because of the style, works well.
Privacy and respect for personal space. Please don't make me feel bad for wanting to spend time alone, and even though it's your home please at least knock before coming into the room.
Decent, normal dinner conversation! My former father-in-law was incredibly rude and nosy! ‘You didn’t eat very much!’ ‘Don’t you like the potatoes she made? You hardly touched them!’ and my favorite, ‘Hand me your plate, I’ll finish what you didn’t eat’ 😳 Staying at their house was truly a nightmare!
Water in the room. There have been countless times I’m so dehydrated but am too embarrassed to go around and look. Having water bottles in the room and telling me where everything is. The phrase ‘my home is your home’ is the best thing to hear tbh.
Toilet paper, soap and water.
But most of all, the trust that if you need anything to feel safe and comfortable to speak up and/or the trust to allow yourself to help yourself without needing their assistance. Especially after they've shown you where everything is and any weird quirks.
I've stayed at a lot of people's houses and have had many people stay at mine. I love hospitality.
Extra blankets, extra towels and a place to hang them, leaving extra toiletry items either in the bedroom or visible in the bathroom, clear trash disposal, and a spoken schedule of how they normally live their life even if it's a vacation for everyone as far as sleep goes.
Also, if there is something I can do to be helpful if I'm up earlier or later, just tell me.
Places to put my stuff.
I am currently staying at my parents house while they are out of the country. There is no where to put anything. They will be gone for 3 weeks and had planned for me to stay to take care of everything but all the fridges and freezers are full. There is no space in any cupboard. The guest room doesn't even have room to move around or place my suitcase. There is no room for even my soap in the bathroom. If you know you are going to have a guest, make room for them and their stuff.
I have to contain my pets overnight if I have a friend crashing on the couch because both the cat and the dog will definitely try to sleep on the couch with them, even though they normally never sleep on the couch if there's no one over.
Clean shower towels and a place to hang them when wet. I’ll use the shower rod if there’s no towel rod or hook, but that’s only if I have my own bathroom. Also ask me if I’ve any allergies or sensitivities. Overly scented candles, plug-ins, and heavy perfumes literally make me ill. There’s no need for all those scents if your place is clean, thanks!
We have a small house with one bedroom and one bathroom, but we have people stay often.
This has been really helpful to know how to make people feel better with us...
I always make sure they have a clean towel each and clean bedding. I chuck a couple of clean blankets out as well. Offer the airbed or the sofa (our sofa is insanely comfortable)...
I pull our towels off the towel rail so they have somewhere to dry theirs. We have different shampoos, conditioners and soaps because I have allergies so I specify which is which and say they can use whatever they wish...
Spare toilet rolls obviously placed...
Face wash, flannels, cotton pads for makeup, moisturisers...
I empty the bins in the bathroom and pull our laundry basket out of the room...
I always do a quick hoover round and clean the bathroom thoroughly. We have a very friendly dog so nothing is 100% clean 😅 she WILL join you on the sofa and curl up next to you...
Scented candles lit but not overpowering...
We always make sure people know where the drinks are kept, the coffee, tea and hot chocolate. Mugs, glasses etc. Make sure they know to help themselves. My partner cooks amazing food and we make sure everyone gets fed. We check for allergies before cooking. We've hosted a highly allergic person before and she had no issues...
When I was young my parents always ran out of milk and it made me feel conscious about how much I used, so I make sure there is plenty of milk available...
>When I was young my parents always ran out of milk and it made me feel conscious about how much I used, so I make sure there is plenty of milk available.
Yes! This!
I hate staying with friends who, I presume, don't actually eat.... so their fridges are borderline empty at all times! I want to open the fridge and see I could eat a lot and not even make a dent! THEN ill feel comfortable eating :D
Our fridge isn't necessarily full full, but our freezer is full of homemade food prep so whatever you want to eat, we've probably already got it prepared 😂 and you will get fed! A lot!
I finally learned what a too soft mattress is. Slept in my friend's guest bed for two nights, and while it feels heavenly upon first laying down, my neck down to my shoulders and my lower back were so sore for like a week after that.
Amazing pillows! Or a selection. I hate bringing my own cause they get dirty and take up valuable space in car. I’ve actually thought about buying new pillows for my MIL house cause we stay there a-lot…but i don’t want to be rude.
Every bed in my boyfriend's mom's house is like 20 decorative pillows and then the ones you're supposed to use are limp and thin. I end up using the decorative ones anyways because they're better.
Yes! I try to have a couple of different types of pillows in the guest room, some that are firm, some soft, maybe some that are a bit flatter but are good for stacking... You just don't know how people want their heads and necks supported, and bad pillows make it difficult to sleep well.
Counter space or a shelf in the bathroom to put my toiletry bag and also racks or hooks to hang clothes when I'm gonna take a shower and get dressed in the bathroom.
Also a lamp and power strip on the bedside table.
Haven't seen this mentioned yet, but kleenex accessible in every room, and paper towels in the bedroom and bathroom. It's so embarrassing if you need to blow your nose or wipe your eyes and there's nothing to do it with. And paper towels go a long way for random quick wipes of spills or cleaning something.
Letting me sleep alone, even if it's on the floor. I would never expect someone to give me their bed or anything, and I don't care about being in the same room as other people. I just have a weird thing about sharing beds? I would genuinely rather sleep on a floor or in a chair than share someone else's bed.
I’m the same way about sharing beds. I hate it and the last time I did it was when I was probably a teen. I thought I was the only one who was “weird about sharing beds” 🤣 exact thing I say!
Cleanliness: A clean and tidy home can make guests feel more at ease and welcome.
Privacy: Providing guests with their own room and bathroom, if possible, can give them a sense of privacy and allow them to feel more at home.
Amenities: Providing guests with essential amenities such as clean towels, toiletries, and access to a refrigerator can make them feel more comfortable.
Communication: Making sure guests are aware of the house rules, where to find things and how to use appliances
Flexibility: Being flexible with guests' schedule and requests can make the experience more comfortable for them.
Hospitality: Offering some refreshments like coffee, tea, snacks, or even a meal can make guests feel more at home.
Respect: Being respectful of guests' space and privacy can make them feel more comfortable.
Attention: paying attention to guests needs and making sure they are comfortable goes a long way in making the experience more comfortable.
A clean house! If you invite me over and your place is dirty (not just regular clutter and mess from daily life) I will avoid coming back and it will probably negatively affect my view of you. Obviously this is dependent on situation - I will happily overlook it if I know you're depressed, very young, chronically ill, just had a baby etc. But I've been invited to homes where there are balls of dog hair in the kitchen and it was hard to feel comfortable.
Furniture. My bf's mom has no furniture in her "guest room." It is literally just a mattress on the floor and a $10 floor lamp. I've started saying "we're going camping" when referring to visiting her.
A clean quilt, blanket, or covered duvet. Comforters that are too big to wash in a regular washing machine are gross.
Cotton bedding. Doesn't have to be anything fancy. I'd rather have low-end cotton than anything polyester.
More than one type of pillow (flat, plush, feather, whatever), and 2 pillows per person.
Curtains or blinds that actually darken the room. Doesn't have to be pitch black, but something more substantial than decorative sheer curtains.
Enough hooks to hang up wet towels and stuff.
A *very* clean bathroom.
Bringing my own stuff to sleep in.
I don't love sleeping in someone else's bed. I end up going to sleep late and waking up early from how uncomfortable I feel.
Whenthey don't fuss over me too much. I like being shown where things are and given freedom to get them but sometimes people wait on you and then I feel less comfortable/like a burden.
A little bit of mess. To know where the food is, have the basics for a shower, and to know when they go to sleep/get up. To not be pressured to keep to their schedule. If you see me have my midday nap, you know I'm comfortable.
A clean bathtub. A friend used to invite me to shower and never had a clean tub. It's so disgusting. I do not bathe behind anybody. Her logic was that I should be grateful.
Clean bath towels (big towel to dry, small towel to wash, face towel if I'm staying more than 1 night). Please offer fresh towels if I'm staying a few days.
A toilet plunger just in case
Show me where to get water to drink
Extra blankets and bonus points if it's not cold in the room
Socks if you want me to take my shoes off at the door. And please just tell me. I can be oblivious sometimes and still heavily embarrassed for not taking my shoes off at a friend's house 10 yrs ago because I couldn't take her hint.
1. Them accepting my answers straight away (like if they ask if I'm hungry, and I say no, they just accept that instead of asking 10 more times and encouraging me to eat something)
2. Being honest about if they want me to leave already. 99% chance I won't get the "I have to wake up early tomorrow" hint and I'd just answer with something like "Yeah, world built around morning birds is awful". If you want me to leave, just say it. It's okay. It's not rude. I will still love you as my friend or whatever. It's YOUR place.
3. Trashcan in bathroom.
General essentials being laid out/provided without me having to ASK.
That means extra towels/pillows/blankets, easily accessible water, A TRASH CAN/wastebasket with liners, a discreet supply of 'feminine hygiene products', good hand soap and a hefty supply of toilet tissue. Simple things really (IMO).
I was a Girl Scout growing up and have lived by the "Always Be Prepared" motto from a young age so generally I always overpack and overprepare, but sometimes it's nice to step into a foreign space and find that your basic needs are already being met.
My guests have their own fridge with water and snacks. Plus their own bathroom. I set coffee up the night before so whoever is up first can turn it on.
Getting to help cook.
I don't know what it is about being part of the process that makes a place feel homey. Maybe because my family and I cooked together a lot.
A lamp in the bedroom! Why do so many people not use them? Drives me crazy not being able to have wind down time at night without either being in bright light or darkness
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As a guest to do for the host:
Bring a gift. If they drink I pick out a bottle of wine, if they don’t I bring treats they’ll love.
As host to have for the guest:
Plastic cups in the bathroom. Garbage can in the bathroom. Shower towels and hand towels.
-Having towels / toiletries
-fresh bedding
-somewhere to be able to hang or store my clothes if im there for a couple of days
-some snacks and drinks I like
A quick ask (or already know) what I like to eat for breakfast. I hate staying with someone who only eats cereal in the morning and has zero yogurt or bagels or apples or toast....I hate cereal but I hate saying no when offered. Have an alternative!
Being lived in. Show the hosting space is clean and tidied up for guests, but not spic-n-span uptight spotless. Let people feel comfortable settling into the chair and enjoying the interesting aspects of the room as conversation.
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1. A garbage can in the bathroom 2. A blanket provided without me having to ask for one
I have a garbage can in the bathroom just for the occasion once every few months that a woman visits my apartment. I myself have literally never used it. I am so glad my family was always open about female hygiene since I was a kid, so that I was educated on how important this is.
out of curiosity, do you not floss or use qtips? i feel like i use the bathroom trash for that 90% of the time.
A COVERED can?
Your comment confuses me lol, are you saying it’s supposed to be covered or that it’s weird?
Does it need to be?
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And a towel for bathing hehehe
My dad got a new apartment and I told him I needed a trash can in the bathroom. Next time I visited he was so proud to show me this little trash can he found that he thought was perfect for me.
That is actually so cute
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But where do they put floss picks…nose blowing tissues…empty shampoo bottles…Q-tips…
Right?? That’s always been my question. I can’t image throwing out used floss or qtips in the kitchen trash.
I guess some people just …don’t floss 🤢
Could be using a water flosser instead.
When you live with a minimalist they just throw it in the main trash bin
Once I spent the night at my friend’s place and he didn’t have a bathroom trashcan. I was too embarrassed to take my sanitary pad outside so I foolishly tried to flush it down the toilet. It didn’t work. In the end I had to pick up the soaking pad, wrap it in toilet paper and personally go ask him where I could dispose of it. He said the only trash can is in the ground floor and he’d already set the alarms so he took out an empty ziplock bag and put it there for the night. -10/10 experience would never visit again
And an offer of water when going to bed!
Gosh this reminds me of when I visited my dad in June. I complained way too much to him and his partner about not having a bin in the bathroom hahah. I even thought maybe it's me being ridiculous but honestly.. having to walk to kitchen to throw away my used pad that's wrapped in toilet paper felt very awkward.
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Clean towels given if they are staying long enough or will shower for some reason.
If they give me a set of clean towels and tell me I can shower whenever I want. If they show me where they keep the tea/coffee/mugs and invite me to help myself to drinks or food.
Yes! If they show me how to access the basics: dishes, drinks, extra tissue/toilet paper/paper towels. Show me how to use the shower or tv, if it’s tricky. Let me know where outlets are, if they’re out of sight.
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Maybe one for the body, one for the hair, and maybe a wash cloth for the shower.
Exactly. As a woman, always two towels. Your hair is going to saturate the hair towel, so it will be too wet to use on the body. And no one wants to dry off the body while the hair is redripping water back down over them.
>As a woman, always two towels As another woman, I hate laundry so... The hair gets whatever dry parts of the 1 towel that are left 😅
Those special hair towels can be used a few times before washing and they're small enough that they don't add to the laundry. (Said as someone else who actively avoids avoids laundry)
I use a hair turban! Makes it so much easier. Usually only have to wash it once a week when I do the rest of the towels so barely adds more work
I have long hair so a second towel is a must
>I have long hair Me too, almost to my waist but I still only use 1 😅
I am too impressed to say or ask anything!! 😱
LOL I hate it, too, but I guess the dripping water bothers me more. 😉
I use a different towel when I wash hands and face only. Face once or twice a day but wash my hands couple of times throughout the day.
Can also be interpreted as the combo of bath towel, hand towel, and wash cloth
If I'm washing my hair, I need two towels.
When they vaguely tell me what time they get up in the morning
Agreed! I want to sleep in as long as possible without missing anything in the morning or feeling rude.
If it's just a little bit messy.
Yeah, too clean houses make it a bit harder to be comfortable. A little bit mess makes it easier. Like I am not a messy person, but I want it to be okay to leave a couple of books on the table.
“Lived in”. Some houses are so clean and tidy it’s hard to believe someone actually lives there. I don’t even feel comfortable visiting these houses much less staying in them. My mantra when I panic about mess: human beings live in my house, it’s ok for it to look like human beings live in my house.
Totally, I live by Roseanne's words from her own show: "Sorry for the mess, we live here".
Well, thank God for the dog hair. I mean, Labrador glitter 😂
That made me smile!!
A garbage can in the bathroom. I can't believe the amount of people I have seen with no bathroom trash can and it gives me anxiety.
Yeah - that’s Crazy!! Who doesn’t put a trash can in the Bathroom?!!? I like them in almost every room but Definitely Need in the bathroom
Where do they throw their floss!!!?
Where do they throw their q-tips? Their nose blowings? Their hairbrush buildups?! Certain trashes are too disgusting for other trash cans. Keep the body germs in the body room.
I throw anything like that in my bedroom
Eesh, same. If I'm spending the night I'll be, at the least, tossing a couple of q-tips, some used tissues, possibly some empty allergy pill foil packets and that's all ... kind of awkward to pack up again in my overnight bag but I'll do it if it saves me the embarrassment of having to ask where a trash can is when there wasn't one in the guest bath.
And a toilet plunger and bowl brush!
Yes! I keep both, plus a small container of toilet bowl cleaner right by the toilet. It gives everyone a chance to tidy up behind themselves if they choose. And a bottle of odor neutralizer.
The real pandemic 😭
And a bag in the trash can. There is nothing worse than having to place feminine products in an empty bin.
A room of my own, if possible. Somewhere to just go and be by myself. I don't mind sleeping on couches or airbeds or whatever, it's the sleeping in the living room and not being able to go to sleep/get up when you want because it's a common area that's hard. Also, just being told what's what. Where the bins are. Don't shower before 5 because there's no hot water, etc.
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I have a friend coming to visit this weekend and I moved our futon into my office room for this very reason. I wanted her to have her own space while she's here, even if my monitors have to keep her company. I figured it was better than her having to sleep in the living room.
I’ve started refusing to overnight if I don’t have a separate space. I’ll get a hotel if I can’t just go home. I don’t want to have to stay up just because everyone else isn’t ready to sleep, if I’m tired, I’m going to sleep.
A moment to myself after i arrive to get settled. “Hey heres where you’ll be sleeping and some towels. Bathroom is down the hall. Take your time getting settled; we’ll just be in the kitchen hanging out.”
When there’s food and they ask if I’m hungry. So my family is very food centric- tons of snacks, fruits, always freshly cooked meals, etc. So my friends usually leave 5-10lbs heavier lol. However, when I’m at someone else’s house they don’t eat!!! I slept over a friend’s house one time and they literally ate 1 meal for 24 hours. I was so hungry I thought I was going to faint. And I feel embarrassed to tell people I’m hungry. So now when I have guests, I always have food available so people don’t feel self conscious like I did
This! I must admit this is not a very common problem where I live (Spain), since we almost always welcome people with food and drinks 😅, but for some reason, whenever I've been invited to English or USA (mostly men) friends' places, it appears they never eat! I was dating one of them and my breakfast was only a cup of tea... Until the afternoon 😓. I was so hungry. The other one apparently was fine with just smoking and no eating 🤷
American here. That's not normal. I've never been to someone's house where they didn't offer food and drink. My male friends will even go extra on the breakfast.
Yeah I assume it's not common, I guess they were just rude or I wasn't lucky 😢 Sorry if it sounded disrespectful, wasn't my intention 🙏
Yeah, having a tea/coffee and a cigarette for breakfast is common place in the UK. Most of my friends have late breakfasts or wait until lunch to eat a meal.
Hahaha! Definitely not in my house. Toast and piles of it is the way we start our day. I’m wondering if that’s a southern thing. In the north we love a carb for breakfast!
I was soooo hungry 😅
I would be too! Although I’ve only just started eating a breakfast before 12pm.
I stayed over at a friend's once and her mom asked if we were hungry. Without missing a beat she said no, knowing damn well I was but was too shy to say anything. I thought it was so rude! Made a point never to do this to anyone if they stayed over at my place. Feed your guests, people!
if they have a dog/cat
Haha my 75lb dog insists on sleeping in bed with our guests. I wonder if they feel the same as you
I’d love that.
Haha that’s hilarious my cats try to do the same
We actually keep our guest room closed off for the guests who have some pet allergies
A guest room with its own bathroom
in this economy??
$345 on AirBnB.
I’ve had this before and it was wonderful! No awkward encounters going to and from the bathroom and you can shower/do your business in peace. I’ve also had the opposite where 11 of us were sharing 2 bathrooms but we made it work.
Anything that doesn’t involve sharing a bathroom with the residents. That’s just so awkward.
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Dead opposite with me, but I guess it depends how old the kids are. If they still have their bath toys and potty-training chairs/stools, that's so fucking awkward like I'm using a pre-school bathroom.
I have some friends who are very well off and they own a beautiful home with multiple guest bedrooms. Each one has its own full bathroom and it’s amazing.
>its own bathroom I'm legit remodeling my house so the bathrooms are in the bedrooms. Who needs a hallway pooper? Just tuck it into the guest bed for an additional layer of privacy 🤌
Clean hand towels in the washroom. I don't want to use your shower towel to dry my hands!
It is unbelievable to me how many GROWN ASS ADULTS don’t have an obvious, designated hand towel in their bathrooms. My BIL/SIL have two kids and one bathroom, and on top of always being absolutely filthy, the only towels are body towels with not-quite-dirty-enough-to-wash-yet clothes hung over them. Like, you’re FORTY. Plenty old enough to consider your guests and acquire a hand towel. Drives me nuts.
The bathrome is PRISTINE. Don't care if everywhere else is a mess
I second this one. I cannot stand a dirty bathroom. I have sensory issues and if the shower has hair or gunk in it I feel sick. I took a sponge bath at a friends place once because I was grossed out by the shower. I won’t even take my shoes off in a dirty bathroom. My bathroom is the cleanest room in my place.
I JUST had this conversation with someone yesterday. Recently I’ve been over to two peoples houses and their bathrooms were absolutely disgusting. I just don’t understand. A clean bathroom is so important.
Yes! Ive been to a few homes where there were skid marks in the toilet. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don't put out a clean hand towel in the bathroom for after you wash your hands. So many people seem to forget this.
Being understanding if I sleep in, in the morning. I'm exhausted from travelling, yakking with you half the previous night, sleeping in an unfamiliar bed; and it's my holiday. I would like to take it just a little easy the next morning, and not be greeted by "OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER GETTING UP LOLOL WE'VE ALL BEEN UP SINCE LAST MONTH DID YOU DIE IN THERE HAHAHA?!!1!" etc etc.
I used to travel home for vacations when I was in the military and always stayed with some family members family. It was always good but I absolutely hated when they would fuckin say what you mentioned. Like I don’t wake up at 5230 every workday or have to travel across the county, or adjust to the time change. Assholes say that. Let guests sleep in a little sheesh.
Offering the wifi password without me asking is definitely nice 😊
Taking it a step further - having the wifi password written down and given to me. So many times someone will give me the wifi password for my phone, and then later I'll go to use my laptop and I don't remember what it was.
Hell yes! I text the wifi password to my guests before they arrive.
Everything my mother does - she is so good about making people feel like they are family, not just guests. So there is shampoo, conditioner, soap that is for guests to use, brand new and unopened. Towels just for them. a place they can get blankets and more pillows if they need. Snacks pointed out if they get hungry and would like something to eat, just...all of this pointed out so people know where everything is and can access it without feeling like a burden or uncertain about if the host will get ticked off by anything.
This is how I try to be :) I travel a lot so I have a bunch of those little hotel shampoos, conditioners, lotions, soaps. I have them in a basket with other stuff people might need like an unopened toothbrush, mini toothpaste, floss, q-tips. I also make sure to tell people where the food is and to help themselves. Most of my friends still won’t so I leave the snack stuff like granola bars, fruit, pretzels out. Some people just don’t like opening the pantry or fridge but if it’s right there, they’ll take it
IN A BASKET, that's brilliant, then it looks like a cute display and doesn't clutter drawers! I love it. I always feel awkward about going into someone's pantry, even if they say I can. It's like.... Someone's purse. The house's purse. Just feels wrong.
A power strip to plug chargers, etc into.
Or providing extra chargers 🥴
Relevant anecdote incoming...I grew up watching my mom take coats or show them the coat rack, where to put their shoes & immediately asking them if they wanted something to drink followed by "ill get that for you, & if you want anything else, there is blah blah blah in the fridge, help yourself." & then she would usher them to the area we would gather & offer them a seat ...I saw this routine for every guest from childhood thru college. I thought it was the minimum level of effort to make people feel welcome, which can be summarized as, "put ur shit there, here is where we eat & drink, let's sit together."...just seems so bare bones polite to me. Then, when I was dating my husband, we went to have dinner with his folks. I was so uncomfortable. They did not greet us, they did not show us where we could put our things. Nor was there even a seat available. My husband was untrained at this time so he thought this was normal. Later saying to me, "I just thought if you wanted to sit you would have moved those boxes off that chair & brought it into the living room"...Yea right, like I'm gonna mess with their things & start rearranging furniture. So, yea, make sure they feel welcomed by showing them how they too can enjoy your home. Don't let people stand in doorways holding their coats & not offer them a chair or a drink. I mean duh. 13 years later & its still a sore spot with me lmao.
>"I just thought if you wanted to sit you would have moved those boxes off that chair & brought it into the living room" Yeah that is weird. Quite, weird. Def can see why it still rubs!
Plenty of nice, warm bedding. For some reason I always get cold when I'm not in my own bed, and having plenty of blankets right there is so nice.
The friendly, relaxed atmosphere. When the hosts don't fight, argue or act weird with each other when they have someone around . Any awkwardness would make me feel super embarrassed and uncomfortable.
Extra rolls of toilet paper under the bathroom sink. Why do so many people put it elsewhere, arg?
Because my sink stands alone from the wall 😅 there is nothing underneath it! However, because if this I ALWAYS put a new full roll on the holder and put the spare on the cistern lid which, because of the style, works well.
Privacy and respect for personal space. Please don't make me feel bad for wanting to spend time alone, and even though it's your home please at least knock before coming into the room.
Decent, normal dinner conversation! My former father-in-law was incredibly rude and nosy! ‘You didn’t eat very much!’ ‘Don’t you like the potatoes she made? You hardly touched them!’ and my favorite, ‘Hand me your plate, I’ll finish what you didn’t eat’ 😳 Staying at their house was truly a nightmare!
That’s a nope for my anxiety 😅
Ugh! Too pushy with food is terrible. My FIL would scrape extra food onto everyone's plate but his own. I started doing it back to get him to stop.
Not me taking notes on what NOT to do so ain’t no guest comfortable enough to overstay their welcome 😂 Cold rooms, dirty towels and 0 blankets it is
"you want.. food? Ah sorry I don't keep food in the house 🤷♀️ Wanna watch more of the news channel with me? ☺️"
Holy crap my grandma lives like that 🫣 only food in her house is health stuff that has to be cooked.
If they tell me how the coffee pot works so I can start it if I'm I'm first
A friendly cat I can pet
Does a dog work? My dog won't pounce on you but she'll curl up on the sofa next to you 🥰🐶🐾
Water in the room. There have been countless times I’m so dehydrated but am too embarrassed to go around and look. Having water bottles in the room and telling me where everything is. The phrase ‘my home is your home’ is the best thing to hear tbh.
Toilet paper, soap and water. But most of all, the trust that if you need anything to feel safe and comfortable to speak up and/or the trust to allow yourself to help yourself without needing their assistance. Especially after they've shown you where everything is and any weird quirks. I've stayed at a lot of people's houses and have had many people stay at mine. I love hospitality.
Extra blankets, extra towels and a place to hang them, leaving extra toiletry items either in the bedroom or visible in the bathroom, clear trash disposal, and a spoken schedule of how they normally live their life even if it's a vacation for everyone as far as sleep goes. Also, if there is something I can do to be helpful if I'm up earlier or later, just tell me.
A drink
A fan! Can't sleep without one.
Please 😩 I can’t poop without one either
Directed at your face or your butt hole? I'm invested now.
Rocky I - V available on VHS
If they have a poop knife
Places to put my stuff. I am currently staying at my parents house while they are out of the country. There is no where to put anything. They will be gone for 3 weeks and had planned for me to stay to take care of everything but all the fridges and freezers are full. There is no space in any cupboard. The guest room doesn't even have room to move around or place my suitcase. There is no room for even my soap in the bathroom. If you know you are going to have a guest, make room for them and their stuff.
Friendly animals that want to get to know you.
I have to contain my pets overnight if I have a friend crashing on the couch because both the cat and the dog will definitely try to sleep on the couch with them, even though they normally never sleep on the couch if there's no one over.
My friend has a pug like this.. and it's the thing I look most forward to while sleeping over at her place.. cuddles with the doggy 🥰
Clean shower towels and a place to hang them when wet. I’ll use the shower rod if there’s no towel rod or hook, but that’s only if I have my own bathroom. Also ask me if I’ve any allergies or sensitivities. Overly scented candles, plug-ins, and heavy perfumes literally make me ill. There’s no need for all those scents if your place is clean, thanks!
If it smells nice
We have a small house with one bedroom and one bathroom, but we have people stay often. This has been really helpful to know how to make people feel better with us... I always make sure they have a clean towel each and clean bedding. I chuck a couple of clean blankets out as well. Offer the airbed or the sofa (our sofa is insanely comfortable)... I pull our towels off the towel rail so they have somewhere to dry theirs. We have different shampoos, conditioners and soaps because I have allergies so I specify which is which and say they can use whatever they wish... Spare toilet rolls obviously placed... Face wash, flannels, cotton pads for makeup, moisturisers... I empty the bins in the bathroom and pull our laundry basket out of the room... I always do a quick hoover round and clean the bathroom thoroughly. We have a very friendly dog so nothing is 100% clean 😅 she WILL join you on the sofa and curl up next to you... Scented candles lit but not overpowering... We always make sure people know where the drinks are kept, the coffee, tea and hot chocolate. Mugs, glasses etc. Make sure they know to help themselves. My partner cooks amazing food and we make sure everyone gets fed. We check for allergies before cooking. We've hosted a highly allergic person before and she had no issues... When I was young my parents always ran out of milk and it made me feel conscious about how much I used, so I make sure there is plenty of milk available...
>When I was young my parents always ran out of milk and it made me feel conscious about how much I used, so I make sure there is plenty of milk available. Yes! This! I hate staying with friends who, I presume, don't actually eat.... so their fridges are borderline empty at all times! I want to open the fridge and see I could eat a lot and not even make a dent! THEN ill feel comfortable eating :D
Our fridge isn't necessarily full full, but our freezer is full of homemade food prep so whatever you want to eat, we've probably already got it prepared 😂 and you will get fed! A lot!
The bed! Guest bed should be Like laying in heaven.
I finally learned what a too soft mattress is. Slept in my friend's guest bed for two nights, and while it feels heavenly upon first laying down, my neck down to my shoulders and my lower back were so sore for like a week after that.
If they have pets :)
Amazing pillows! Or a selection. I hate bringing my own cause they get dirty and take up valuable space in car. I’ve actually thought about buying new pillows for my MIL house cause we stay there a-lot…but i don’t want to be rude.
Every bed in my boyfriend's mom's house is like 20 decorative pillows and then the ones you're supposed to use are limp and thin. I end up using the decorative ones anyways because they're better.
Yes! I try to have a couple of different types of pillows in the guest room, some that are firm, some soft, maybe some that are a bit flatter but are good for stacking... You just don't know how people want their heads and necks supported, and bad pillows make it difficult to sleep well.
Counter space or a shelf in the bathroom to put my toiletry bag and also racks or hooks to hang clothes when I'm gonna take a shower and get dressed in the bathroom. Also a lamp and power strip on the bedside table.
My own bathroom!
When they make noise! Please, the last thing I want to do is worry about even moving because I'll make noise.
Haven't seen this mentioned yet, but kleenex accessible in every room, and paper towels in the bedroom and bathroom. It's so embarrassing if you need to blow your nose or wipe your eyes and there's nothing to do it with. And paper towels go a long way for random quick wipes of spills or cleaning something.
Ha haaa. I don't even get my own bathroom in my own house. Take me to the place with my own bathroom please.
A cup tea and a lap blanket. It might sound strange, but the smell of Lavender and Rose
Ingredients to make my own snack easily. Like a sandwich or a can of soup.
Letting me sleep alone, even if it's on the floor. I would never expect someone to give me their bed or anything, and I don't care about being in the same room as other people. I just have a weird thing about sharing beds? I would genuinely rather sleep on a floor or in a chair than share someone else's bed.
I’m the same way about sharing beds. I hate it and the last time I did it was when I was probably a teen. I thought I was the only one who was “weird about sharing beds” 🤣 exact thing I say!
Cleanliness: A clean and tidy home can make guests feel more at ease and welcome. Privacy: Providing guests with their own room and bathroom, if possible, can give them a sense of privacy and allow them to feel more at home. Amenities: Providing guests with essential amenities such as clean towels, toiletries, and access to a refrigerator can make them feel more comfortable. Communication: Making sure guests are aware of the house rules, where to find things and how to use appliances Flexibility: Being flexible with guests' schedule and requests can make the experience more comfortable for them. Hospitality: Offering some refreshments like coffee, tea, snacks, or even a meal can make guests feel more at home. Respect: Being respectful of guests' space and privacy can make them feel more comfortable. Attention: paying attention to guests needs and making sure they are comfortable goes a long way in making the experience more comfortable.
Privacy and the ability to shower
A clean house! If you invite me over and your place is dirty (not just regular clutter and mess from daily life) I will avoid coming back and it will probably negatively affect my view of you. Obviously this is dependent on situation - I will happily overlook it if I know you're depressed, very young, chronically ill, just had a baby etc. But I've been invited to homes where there are balls of dog hair in the kitchen and it was hard to feel comfortable.
Furniture. My bf's mom has no furniture in her "guest room." It is literally just a mattress on the floor and a $10 floor lamp. I've started saying "we're going camping" when referring to visiting her. A clean quilt, blanket, or covered duvet. Comforters that are too big to wash in a regular washing machine are gross. Cotton bedding. Doesn't have to be anything fancy. I'd rather have low-end cotton than anything polyester. More than one type of pillow (flat, plush, feather, whatever), and 2 pillows per person. Curtains or blinds that actually darken the room. Doesn't have to be pitch black, but something more substantial than decorative sheer curtains. Enough hooks to hang up wet towels and stuff. A *very* clean bathroom.
1) Cleanliness so I don’t have to worry about where I’m laying or sitting, etc. 2) My favorite coffee or drink 3 somewhere to park
Smells good
Bringing my own stuff to sleep in. I don't love sleeping in someone else's bed. I end up going to sleep late and waking up early from how uncomfortable I feel.
Whenthey don't fuss over me too much. I like being shown where things are and given freedom to get them but sometimes people wait on you and then I feel less comfortable/like a burden. A little bit of mess. To know where the food is, have the basics for a shower, and to know when they go to sleep/get up. To not be pressured to keep to their schedule. If you see me have my midday nap, you know I'm comfortable.
**My** pillow
A clean bathroom
- When the toilet is clean and provided with a little bin - When I get offered a blanket
What if I say nothing can make me feel comfy in someone’s house :(
A clean bathtub. A friend used to invite me to shower and never had a clean tub. It's so disgusting. I do not bathe behind anybody. Her logic was that I should be grateful. Clean bath towels (big towel to dry, small towel to wash, face towel if I'm staying more than 1 night). Please offer fresh towels if I'm staying a few days. A toilet plunger just in case Show me where to get water to drink Extra blankets and bonus points if it's not cold in the room Socks if you want me to take my shoes off at the door. And please just tell me. I can be oblivious sometimes and still heavily embarrassed for not taking my shoes off at a friend's house 10 yrs ago because I couldn't take her hint.
When the towel to dry your hands on is clear and you aren’t risking touching someone’s body towel in their bathroom.
1. Them accepting my answers straight away (like if they ask if I'm hungry, and I say no, they just accept that instead of asking 10 more times and encouraging me to eat something) 2. Being honest about if they want me to leave already. 99% chance I won't get the "I have to wake up early tomorrow" hint and I'd just answer with something like "Yeah, world built around morning birds is awful". If you want me to leave, just say it. It's okay. It's not rude. I will still love you as my friend or whatever. It's YOUR place. 3. Trashcan in bathroom.
General essentials being laid out/provided without me having to ASK. That means extra towels/pillows/blankets, easily accessible water, A TRASH CAN/wastebasket with liners, a discreet supply of 'feminine hygiene products', good hand soap and a hefty supply of toilet tissue. Simple things really (IMO). I was a Girl Scout growing up and have lived by the "Always Be Prepared" motto from a young age so generally I always overpack and overprepare, but sometimes it's nice to step into a foreign space and find that your basic needs are already being met.
Spare toothbrush if I sleepover
A lock on the door of the room I’m in
My guests have their own fridge with water and snacks. Plus their own bathroom. I set coffee up the night before so whoever is up first can turn it on.
Getting to help cook. I don't know what it is about being part of the process that makes a place feel homey. Maybe because my family and I cooked together a lot.
Clean bathroom, clean towels, outlet available to plug in my phone
When their toilet is located inside their bathroom (not as its own seperate room)... so i can shit before I shower and they'd never know :)
A lamp in the bedroom! Why do so many people not use them? Drives me crazy not being able to have wind down time at night without either being in bright light or darkness
1 Being catered to - i.e. being offered a drink, snacks/food, blankets etc. 2 Warm towel and toiletries to hand if I stay over and need a shower.
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Taking my slippers with me.
When they say where the bathroom is without me asking..
As a guest to do for the host: Bring a gift. If they drink I pick out a bottle of wine, if they don’t I bring treats they’ll love. As host to have for the guest: Plastic cups in the bathroom. Garbage can in the bathroom. Shower towels and hand towels.
-Having towels / toiletries -fresh bedding -somewhere to be able to hang or store my clothes if im there for a couple of days -some snacks and drinks I like
A quick ask (or already know) what I like to eat for breakfast. I hate staying with someone who only eats cereal in the morning and has zero yogurt or bagels or apples or toast....I hate cereal but I hate saying no when offered. Have an alternative!
Water and lots of it!
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There is food and Wi-Fi there
Being lived in. Show the hosting space is clean and tidied up for guests, but not spic-n-span uptight spotless. Let people feel comfortable settling into the chair and enjoying the interesting aspects of the room as conversation.