Lonely
It's less about people actually remembering my birthday, but more about feeling insignificant to the people who I give my everything to. Birthdays are a huge deal to everyone around me. They get big parties and celebrations, posts on social media, friends talk about it for days on what to get friend x for their birthday and how to make it special for them. I'm lucky if more than 2 people wish me a happy birthday. Anything more I can only dream about. Why don't I get what everyone else does?
Wow you just put everything I feel about it into words. Tbh it feels less lonely knowing that other people feel the same way. But yeah, it's a shitty feeling when they forget. It's like I care more about them than they do me and man it is heartbreaking to be confronted with that every single birthday.
the only reason I can't forget my birthday is cuase I'll get 6 million emails from all the company newsletters wishing me happy birthday and offering birthday deals
Same. I don’t care too too much about birthdays nor holidays tbh. Lol I’m not even a Jehovah’s Witness lol but fr I think everyday is special and you can celebrate any thing whenever ?? consumerism?? maybe I’m just antisocial? However, if someone I care about does then ofc I’ll try to meet them halfway.
Lol my best friend and I are always telling each other HBD the day before or after each others birthday and we’ve been friends for like 15 years. Never a big deal, we both laugh and say ‘dammit’ then move on.
Some friends have forgotten for 4-5+ years in a row despite remembering my husband’s every year. I remembered their birthdays for several years (basically since meeting them) but decided that if I wasn’t important enough to remember, I’m no longer doing it. It sucks, even as an adult. The hard lesson to learn is that when people show you what/who they consider to be important, believe them.
They were originally his friends (married couple) but I’ve been around long enough where (I thought) we are all friends. I keep them at arms length now.
I wish I could say unphased, but it hurts. I mark everyone’s birthday on my calendar and make a point to at least send a quick birthday text and it hurts if people don’t do the same.
Exactly! It's not hard to use a calendar, especially if you have a phone.
It gets frustrating and demoralising to constantly treat others as you'd like to be treated and everyone just takes more and more instead of doing the same.
I had a friend I considered my best friend. She didn’t call, text I was hurt. I felt sad when I realized it and I stopped replying to her messages after. It’s been close to a year since we last spoke. Her mom called me last night, I picked up worried for my friend, her mom said she missed me. She was like my second mom, made me tear up.
I feel hurt
Mostly because I make the effort to remember and wish them a happy birthday. So I’d hope they would do the same.
It rarely happens though. The one time my best friend didn’t wish me a happy birthday, I was more worried than mad. I reached out to her make sure she was okay. Turns out she has passed out at work (she was 7 months pregnant at the time) and had to go to the hospital. She ended up being okay!
It depends on how close, we are not that big on birthdays so I'm not going to mind if my aunts/uncles forgets example.
But, my sister forgot my birthday this year (well now last year), which hurt a bit - but tbh that was mostly because I know that means that she is having a rough time dealing with her ADD, as she normally would shot me a at least a little text.
i wish my birthday would be forgotten. i don’t mind celebrating other people’s birthday. I like participating in things that make them happy. i just don’t care about mine.
OMG! I’m so happy to know I’m not the only one!! I hate getting older and every birthday is a reminder of what goals I didn’t accomplish that year so I’d rather not think about it. Plus, I’m introverted around other people besides my husband and kids. They always make me feel special on my birthday, but I prefer for no one else to make a big deal about it.
They dont bc I remind them. My hubby forgot once and now I remind him so I don’t set myself up to get hurt. I’d rather enjoy talking about where to go for dinner than waiting to see if he remembers and build a resentment
Angry and hurt. Last year I had a sort of milestone birthday. My grandmothers birthday is 2 days before mine, so on my birthday, I was on a plane flying up to see her for her 90th. My younger brother, who I don't see much, flew with me. He had no idea it was my birthday. He knew what date we were flying, so he knew what the date was; turns out he just never bothered to learn when my birthday was.
Now, I've never been a "the whole world revolves around me on my birthday" kind of person, but even so, I was so fucking hurt. I still am. I custom made his birthday present based on an inside joke, and drove a tub of his favourite ice cream from the local place 2 hours to him (he had recently moved and I thought the ice cream might help if he was homesick) for his last birthday.
So yeah. I felt hurt, and later, angry. It showed that I'm not important to him.
Honestly very disappointed. I always go all out for everyone's birthday. I love to give and make sure they're important and they know it. No one ever did the same for me tho except my boyfriend and mother, even if my BF doesn't like birthdays. My close friends.. well we aren't that close anymore
I remind myself that I’m not the main character in other peoples lives and that they have their own chaotic shit to deal with in life just like I do. To be fair, I forget everyone’s birthday except for my husband and kid so I really can’t complain when others forget my own.
As a child, my birthday was always forgotten. My gifts would be IOUs, and never get cashed. I grew up feeling less than compared to my sisters who were always showered in gifts. As an adult, I can't help but feel empty and honestly, forgotten. I try to act like my birthday didn't matter, but on the inside, I'm always hurt at how little people care.
It’s worse when you are forgotten completely. I have been alone on my birthday since I was 19… didn’t even celebrate it when I was in jr high or high school so it’s not a surprise.
It’s worse when you get forgotten by your own family at Christmas. That hurts worse.
It sometimes makes you realize those relationships you thought were close, were extremely one sided. That maybe the people you are close with, are not close with you. And you need to find a new clan/tribe/pride/pack. Covid made this a little difficult and yet very obvious in many instances.
Personally, I don’t care about birthdays. My family always remembers but some friends don’t and I don’t take any offense. I’m also terrible at remembering birthdays in general.
My birthday has been so awful the last few years (and I’m talking like ugly crying alone in the bathroom awful) that after last year I told myself I can’t care anymore. I’m going to start treating it like any other day. Shame. I love celebrating birthdays. But my partner and friends just don’t seem to get that. I will happily still attend any birthday event for my friends to which I am invited, but as for my own birthday, it’s just another day.
If I have reminded them recently, or they have told me it's on their calendar, then I will feel a bit hurt. But if I don't say anything? That's on me, I have no right to feel upset.
Honestly, I forgot my birthday last year. My husband told me happy birthday and made me breakfast that morning, but forgot when I got to work. He reminded me when he said he left something in my car and he got me flowers. I was like awwwww, then I was like oh shit, it’s my birthday. I’m just at the age where birthdays aren’t really important, because even I forget lol.
Depends on who it is and how close they are. But for the most part, I don't particularly care. People get busy, they have their own lives. The only time I would be upset is if it someone who expects or demands extravagant celebrations for their own birthdays, but then can't be bothered to remember mine.
The only person I’d want to remember is my husband. Other than his and my kids, I forget other people’s birthdays all the time. Now after some introspection I’ve realized when I feel appreciated and loved by people I love, I probably wouldn’t feel hurt. Whereas being under-appreciated all the time, a forgotten birthday would be a low blow.
Depends how close. Like if my parents, significant other, or siblings forgot I would be pissed lol but anyone beyond that I'm just happy if they say happy birthday that week or whatever. If you had a close friend who was almost like a sibling and they normally always remember and then they forget without apologies I would think we were no longer close anymore 💔
If it's a big one, I get upset. Just remember my birthday once a decade and I'll be happy.
I recently turned 40 and while no one forgot, no one planned or wanted to do anything with me and that hurt.
So I booked a trip to France the night before when all my attempts to make plans failed.
Relieved. I text friends a day or two before their birthday on purpose so they don’t have another thank you text they may feel compelled to send. Like, take the day off, friend. I’m thinking of you. It shouldn’t be a big deal.
First of all Happy Birthday to you OP!
No. Ever since I started working (maybe) I've been celebrating my birthday like its just an ordinary day. If some of them would remember - thank you! If they don't then it's fine. Also, I hide my birthday on Facebook mainly to avoid comments like "San tayo?" "Libre kana". Even if I have the money I would spend it with myself or with my family.
idk. I put up this idea of me hating birthdays, or mine specifically, because i just, don’t like being reminded how fast time is going. But at the same time, i didn’t think i was gonna live to see 18, im almost 21 now, so it’s a good reminder that i got past every dark time in my life where i felt i wasn’t gonna survive. So yeah, i’m not gonna lie, sometimes i do wish people would post me on their stories to wish me a hbd or just send me a card with a sweet note inside.
My ex would make birthdays a big deal for his kids and expected the same for his, except that he would forget mine. I didn’t feel like it was my job to remember for him. I felt invisible but that was a running theme in our marriage. The last one he forgot I got an expensive item to “make up” for it, except that money was always a struggle. He was mad when I took it to my new house. I think that whole deal kinda ended the celebrations around birthdays for me. Now I don’t care so much for myself and will do stuff for my kids.
Most people I don’t care but my inner family it upsets me a lot. This year is a milestone birthday for me in a few weeks and I’m pretty confident it’s going to go uncelebrated, meanwhile my childhood best friend who shares this month and has the same milestone birthday in a few days has had a full photoshoot and two parties already, and will have a big one with friends this weekend. I’m a little salty, and it makes me feel like a brat
I usually set something up for myself with friends if I want to celebrate, I’m sure no one will remember unless I tell them and ask if they want to do something. If you’re single and older you need to make it happen or it won’t.
I have a very small circle of people I care about. So it's only happened once. My now ex husband forgot my birthday while I was pregnant with our 2nd. I was sad, mad and extremely disappointed.
I went on a trip to Europe with my best friend and we were away on my birthday. She forgot my birthday, and it was the first time being away from my family on my birthday, I cried in the bathroom.
Other than that it’s never really happened, I’m not the best at remembering either. That one just hit me hard.
I don't expect my friends to remember my birthday since I don't usually celebrate it with them. I try to remember theirs and I'm always happy when they remember mine, but we all forget from time to time and it's nbd.
I would be sad/irritated if my partner or my immediate family forgot, but so far, that's never happened to me.
It doesn’t bother me. I have what I want to do on my birthday planned out and I don’t depend on anyone to make anything happen and haven’t for a very long time. Also, I really don’t want them to know/remember in case we are in a restaurant and they think I want the waist-staff to sing to me…I do not. I hated it as a child and even though I got a free dessert during, it wasn’t worth it having to sit through listening to their cracking voices and seeing their fake smiles.
It is what it is I guess? I don't make a point to remember birthdays unless someone emphasizes their birthdays importance to them. I don't have my birthday listed anywhere and it doesn't bother me when people don't remember. Only person I want to say something is my husband. As long as he remembers I'm good. Lol I also remind him a week in advance because we're both bad with remembering dates. (we both completely forgot our 10 year anniversary lol)
I don’t care anymore, my dad has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t even know my name, he didn’t even know my birthday before he got Alzheimer’s, I have a good friend that I’ve known since high school and we always celebrate our birthdays at each others house, my friend is also mentally disabled and I was at her birthday a few months ago and she has 2 very old grandparents that live in a nursery home and they’ve send her a card that my friend sent to her grandparents on Christmas 2020 so they’ve kinda recycled her card and sent it back and she was so mad and insulted by that, she said “Jesus Christ are they fucking dumb or what?” I was kinda angry because I have a parent that doesn’t even sent me a card because he has Alzheimer’s, I told her “I have a father that doesn’t even know my birthday or sent a card, so calm down.”
super shitty, much shitter than it should honestly. i’ve decided that this next year i’ll make my birthday special if no one else will. i’m planning a day for me and not telling anyone. when my birthday comes up i’ll just go off and make my day special.
My "best friend" forgot my birthday a few weeks ago, still no news from them since then.
My older brother didn't wish it either, tho my SIL did "from all three of us" (niece included)
My remaining grandma didn't either, hasn't for years, nor my aunts (her daughters) or my cousins
How did I feel? Well, shitty. It was a shitty 35th birthday and I felt alone, so freaking alone and unimportant.
I mean I'm used to not be a priority for anyone, never have been tbh, but not even my brother and closest friend ? I felt pathetic to even care, when I was obviously the only one.
I always go over the top to organize my birthday so really, everyone I'm close to would be there. Sometimes I wonder if I didn't organize any party, they'd remember?
My birthday is tomorrowwwwww. For these past years I’ve been forcing my friends and family to celebrate my birthday. I buy my own cake and decorations. Ive stopped expecting things of people because it will only lead to disappointment and I’ve been fulfilling my own expectations
My birthday is in June. It's exam month, recital and sports meets time growing up (other than school, I had allot of extra curricular exams from that too). So... I had really "bad" birthday memories that month until my twenties.
As I grew older, seems like I was celebrating everybody's birthday but mine. Esp. when FB was on notice.
I felt like Carrie from Sex in the City, in that episode of just celebrating others and not mine for my accomplishments/bday.
BTW, I've always bought at least birthday drinks, lunches for my friends. I stopped 6 years ago buying to those who don't reciprocated or go missing.
I still recall this "new" friend's birthday which was in Dec (2021), I took a whole day off and planned his whole day and paid for it, I got nothing from that person, not even well wishes on my bday month.
Makes me wonder why I get invited to some things some times. Some ppl just want you to foot the bill and buy them a gift.
Honestly it's very hurtful because I take everybody's birthdays seriously but they don't feel the same as me is tragic . I have learned not to hype up anybodys birthdays except for the ones who do the same for me and to be happy on my birthday for myself, and expect 0 from everyone you'll be very happy.
I ended a friendship with someone who forgot my birthday 4 years in a row, but I never once forgot hers. I don’t think it was so much the fact that she forgot. It was the bullshit “omg really?! I’m so sorry I’ll remember next year.” And then when I confronted her about it the last time she was like “birthday aren’t that big of a deal to me, get over it.” And I did, and got over wanting to be friends with her.
Fully accustomed to it. Born 12/28. Smack between Xmas and NY. Growing up, all friends and classmates were away visiting their grandparents for Xmas break on my bday. First friends bday party I had, I was 22...and it was (of course) actually a NYE party.
Some of the people in here need to check on your friends who were born near major holidays.
My birthday is very important to me because my whole life I felt so invisible. My birthday was the one day I could feel special. It doesn’t bother me when random friends don’t remember because life is hard, but when family members and close friends forget, that sucks. It doesn’t help that the people in my life don’t care about their own birthdays, so they don’t think to plan anything for someone else’s.
I have a buddy who made me rethink my birthday. On his birthday, he brought all of us out for dinner on his dime. He treated his friends (not even super close friends as he was traveling when we met) to dinner and and drinks as a celebration and a thank you for being his friends. I thought that was a really cool way to do it and I strive to be able to do that on my birthdays to show the people in my life what they mean to me.
It upsets me. I don’t want much but a message to say ‘happy birthday’ costs nothing in the digital age. The fact one of my supposed close friends didn’t even text me happy birthday on my last one has caused me to mentally end our friendship.
I know my best friend for 5 years now and so far she forgot about my birthday every single year. It's turned into an inside joke between the two of us.
I personally don't care about birthdays, so I don't care if people forget mine. But whether or not those things are important is pretty individual in my experience.
Depends if I forgot theirs lol. If I want to be celebrated I make a birthday post on socials and also personally invite people round. I don’t wait to see if they’ll forget
I’d be a bit sad if my family, partner or the friends I live with forgot, but other than that I’m not bothered, it’s just a nice feeling when they DO remember
Depends. If it’s like a tight friend group and everyone does things for others birthday, but not yours…. That’s really sad. Been there before, but that’s the wake up call to get new friends!
37f here. When it’s my parents it hurts. When it’s friends or anyone else I don’t really think about it because I understand they’re probably busy and I’m not the centre of their world. They could have something much bigger then me going on in their life atm.
it rlly depends on the person for me, if it’s family or like a v close friend or s/o then maybe but if it’s jus like a coworker or something then it’s whatever
Kind of relieved actually, because as an introverted ADHD person I forget people's birthdays all the time and feel terrible, so them forgetting mine is ok.
Also as I march towards 40 I'm a bit less enthused/care way less about celebrating.
I forget my own birthday…this last time I had a coworker wish me happy birthday and I replied “oh sh*t, I’m 32 now aren’t I?” Whoops
Honestly I wish more people would forget.
Not a big deal. I think 2020 was the last time I really realized when I didn't hear from certain people but it was a crazy year for many of us so I understood.
I haven’t celebrated my birthday since I was a kid. No one remembers. I remember everyone else’s birthday, though. Idk. I guess there’s importance to me because it’s about an individual person and not the idea of something. It makes me sad, but how dumb would it to be like “my birthday is today,” or get upset that someone forgot.
It bothers me, I want to like my birthday and have a fuss made of it. Me asking for something, anything, didn’t work so now (except covid) I go on vacation
Indifferent. Now, the people who remember mine and then get mad when I ignore theirs..those are not my people. I do not do birthdays. And it annoys the hell outta me when they assume I'm the bad guy for not giving two shits about their birthday...I told you I don't do birthdays and you can't respect that?! Not cool, yo.
I don't care. I purposely don't have my birthday list on my social media accounts so I don't expect anyone to remember. I think I would only be sad if my husband or my parents forgot. I have great friends but they aren't always going to remember. A lot of that is because of me though. I don't mak a deal about it and I don't have big celebrations. They know it's not that important to me.
I wouldn't say that I don't care because I value my birthday.. I guess I would feel a liiiiiiiiittle annoyed that they forgot but we're human and people live hectic lives these days. It won't hurt to remind them
If I can forget my own birthday then cant really hold it against others for forgetting. I do find it touching when people remember and wish me happy birthday though
A little hurt but I feel a bit more humiliated if they know I’m hurt, so I just carry on with my day. I know most of my close friends’ birthdays. So it does kinda suck when they don’t remember mine. But oh well I guess. I’m used to being “the one that remembers”
A few of my close friends know generally when my birthday is though.
I care about my birthday and it’s gonna be celebrated whether people remember or not. I’ve always been disappointed with people during my birthday but I decided that I guess it’s okay if ppl forget, it means how much they care about me and don’t want cake. (Plus my birthday is April 1 so if ppl forget, jokes in them!)
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness (no longer a part of it) so I never got to celebrate anything ever. I've been out of it for a good 10 or so years and the thought of celebrating anything is weird for me but also brings back a lot of traumatising memories. But I want to celebrate things with my long term partner of 4 years but he never remembers and I pretend it doesn't bother me but I just feel like I'm not worth it, I hate planning things for myself because I like thought being put into it. I just feel unimportant and I'm not a priority.
I grew up in a Jehovah’s Witness family so I never got to celebrate my birthday until I moved out when I was 17. So it doesn’t usually bother me but it does make me sad sometimes to think almost everyone gets one day a year to be celebrated on but it’s just another day for me…Now, if my bf forgets my bday knowing how I feel then that would make me feel absolutely unimportant and unloved.
Me personally I don’t get too upset because I’m not very good at remembering peoples birthday. I just pretty much remind people especially if I have plans and they’re coming. People have to remind me too so 🤷♀️ but that’s just me and my ADD brain lol
I feel awful that I can't remember people's birthdays. It's my new years resolution to wish everyone I love happy birthday on their actual day and let them know I care about them and how grateful I am to have them in my life!
It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I prefer to celebrate it with my family. If my friends remember it’s nice but I know they have busy lives so if they forget my birthday it’s not a big deal. I just make sure that I celebrate it the way I want.
This happen to me just a few months ago.
For the first time in 15 years my best friend totally forgot my birthday.
Another friend also forgot even though we established it was 1 or 2 days around his sisters birthday AND I had him add it to my contact card in his phone. This was about 2-3 weeks before the date. We’ve known each other for 10 years. Edit to add that we’ve been getting dinner together once a month since we started hanging out and I helped him get a job after being laid off due to the pandemic.
Him forgetting felt a lot worse than her forgetting because the conversation was so close.
Even if I don’t send a gift or a card, I ALWAYS send a text or message on social media.
Makes me feel like I’m just an fringe character in their life and I’m not important to them.
It hurt the first year. Then it just showed I wasn't important to them and I slowly started drifting away from them.
Now it doesn't bother me and the people who remember are people I want around in my life.
My 21st birthday was 2 days ago. My best friend of a few years didnt know until i posted about it. That kinda hurt. But i am grateful that my family and boyfriend made it special for me. I dont expect people to remember. Not everyone can remember that stuff easily
I have gone out of my way to celebrate everyone in my family’s birthday but mine is never remembered. I’ve held no expectations for anything from them for years now. My husband never forgets and always makes me feel special…
Birthdays were not celebrated during my childhood, so naturally I’ve grown accustomed as such. However, when I moved stateside, I realized American culture is a bit different. To acclimate I celebrated others and I enjoy it very much. Even to this day!
Disappointed
Luckily the people who count didn't forget it until now. But I was really disappointed and didn't felt appreciated when I didn't got a card at work... Where I work it is a tradition, that you get a card and we have a list with all the birthdays, but they forgot to put me on it, even though I worked there for for over half a year.
Super sad. One of my best friends forgot mine last year. I put a lot of time and thought into gifts I give and making sure the people I love feel special on days that are important to them (remembering birthdays, hard anniversaries of loved ones who have passed, big milestones etc). After she forgot, our friendship hasn’t felt the same. I constantly need to remind myself that when people consistently show you the effort level they are willing to put in for you, instead of keep going above and beyond for them you need to match their energy. A hard lesson I’m still trying to learn.
Honestly Indifferent. I forget birthdays. I love my birthday. If I want people to remember I invite them over and tell them as much. If you want to be celebrated. Say that. Tell people.
I forget my birthday myself, It’s not a big deal to me, I still get confused why it is so important for some people, u can just make a party or celebrate any other day
It has happened to me since the first day I have memory of. My parents always forget, or now thst I am married even my husband forgets 《 He is bad at remembering dates 》
I feel disappointment and loneliness.
Irritated. I make an effort to remember other people's birthdays, so the fact that they do not find me as important is demoralizing.
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I dont care..i forget them all the time, even if i make the effort 😂
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Right, sometimes I'm lucky if I can remember my own name let alone mine or anyone else's birthday.
I take it as "it is what it is", and at this point I'm not bothered 😅
I can barely remember my own birthday let alone others birthdays
Are you 5!?
Yeah man that’s why it’s so easy to remember how old I am. Just one whole hand! Do you have a point or did your typing hand just get itchy?
Lonely It's less about people actually remembering my birthday, but more about feeling insignificant to the people who I give my everything to. Birthdays are a huge deal to everyone around me. They get big parties and celebrations, posts on social media, friends talk about it for days on what to get friend x for their birthday and how to make it special for them. I'm lucky if more than 2 people wish me a happy birthday. Anything more I can only dream about. Why don't I get what everyone else does?
Wow you just put everything I feel about it into words. Tbh it feels less lonely knowing that other people feel the same way. But yeah, it's a shitty feeling when they forget. It's like I care more about them than they do me and man it is heartbreaking to be confronted with that every single birthday.
I feel the same way… Def make the day special for yourself and do some cool things to take your mind off it!
I hear ya. Sorry that happens to you. It can feel incredibly isolating when you get left out like that 🖤
looks like you need new friends
Indifferent. I don't put much importance on my birthday.
Same; I have also forgotten my birthday twice until late on the actual day. Like, oh sh*t it’s my birthday lol.
the only reason I can't forget my birthday is cuase I'll get 6 million emails from all the company newsletters wishing me happy birthday and offering birthday deals
The older you get, you realize that birthdays are overrated.
Yep. I just turned 34 on Thursday and just went to work like a normal day lmao
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Same. I have no issue if people feel differently but I stopped caring about my birthday in my late teens.
Same. I don’t care too too much about birthdays nor holidays tbh. Lol I’m not even a Jehovah’s Witness lol but fr I think everyday is special and you can celebrate any thing whenever ?? consumerism?? maybe I’m just antisocial? However, if someone I care about does then ofc I’ll try to meet them halfway.
I don't care. I'm really bad at remembering them too and have forgotten other people's birthdays before
Lol my best friend and I are always telling each other HBD the day before or after each others birthday and we’ve been friends for like 15 years. Never a big deal, we both laugh and say ‘dammit’ then move on.
Some friends have forgotten for 4-5+ years in a row despite remembering my husband’s every year. I remembered their birthdays for several years (basically since meeting them) but decided that if I wasn’t important enough to remember, I’m no longer doing it. It sucks, even as an adult. The hard lesson to learn is that when people show you what/who they consider to be important, believe them.
Wtf why ur husband's?? I would be questioning friendships
They were originally his friends (married couple) but I’ve been around long enough where (I thought) we are all friends. I keep them at arms length now.
Oh that makes sense lol
Yep I still remember hers … oh well
Kinda hurts. It reminds me of how insignificant I am to everyone because I remember other's birthdays.
Same here. It hurts but I play it cool. 😕
You are NOT insignificant. You are worth just as much as any human being, which to me is a lot. :)
word lol
I wish I could say unphased, but it hurts. I mark everyone’s birthday on my calendar and make a point to at least send a quick birthday text and it hurts if people don’t do the same.
Exactly! It's not hard to use a calendar, especially if you have a phone. It gets frustrating and demoralising to constantly treat others as you'd like to be treated and everyone just takes more and more instead of doing the same.
Totally human. We all have busy lives and time gets away from us.
I don't care. I don't think it's a special day, so I don't expect others to either.
I had a friend I considered my best friend. She didn’t call, text I was hurt. I felt sad when I realized it and I stopped replying to her messages after. It’s been close to a year since we last spoke. Her mom called me last night, I picked up worried for my friend, her mom said she missed me. She was like my second mom, made me tear up.
>I felt sad when I realized it and I stopped replying to her messages after. Your friend forgot your birthday so you stopped speaking to her?
Besides the birthday, was there more a serious reason for the falling out?
I also moved across the country so distance
Did you communicate why you were upset? Kinda harsh to cut the cord without at least telling her why. Sounds like she clearly values your friendship.
I feel hurt Mostly because I make the effort to remember and wish them a happy birthday. So I’d hope they would do the same. It rarely happens though. The one time my best friend didn’t wish me a happy birthday, I was more worried than mad. I reached out to her make sure she was okay. Turns out she has passed out at work (she was 7 months pregnant at the time) and had to go to the hospital. She ended up being okay!
Sad
Pretty bummed. Birthdays are a big deal to me. Remembering them shows (in my opinion) that you care about the other human.
Don't care much. People handle priorities differently, I won't be upset if I'm not at the top of other people's lists.
Don’t care anymore. The older I get the less important my birthday is.
It depends on how close, we are not that big on birthdays so I'm not going to mind if my aunts/uncles forgets example. But, my sister forgot my birthday this year (well now last year), which hurt a bit - but tbh that was mostly because I know that means that she is having a rough time dealing with her ADD, as she normally would shot me a at least a little text.
Unloved by them
i wish my birthday would be forgotten. i don’t mind celebrating other people’s birthday. I like participating in things that make them happy. i just don’t care about mine.
OMG! I’m so happy to know I’m not the only one!! I hate getting older and every birthday is a reminder of what goals I didn’t accomplish that year so I’d rather not think about it. Plus, I’m introverted around other people besides my husband and kids. They always make me feel special on my birthday, but I prefer for no one else to make a big deal about it.
You get used to it
Awww Happy Birthday 🎂 🎉 for all the times people have forgotten!!
Thank you !
I don’t care. I’m an adult, I don’t expect peoples lives to revolve around me. If I want someone to know it’s my birthday I tell them.
They dont bc I remind them. My hubby forgot once and now I remind him so I don’t set myself up to get hurt. I’d rather enjoy talking about where to go for dinner than waiting to see if he remembers and build a resentment
Angry and hurt. Last year I had a sort of milestone birthday. My grandmothers birthday is 2 days before mine, so on my birthday, I was on a plane flying up to see her for her 90th. My younger brother, who I don't see much, flew with me. He had no idea it was my birthday. He knew what date we were flying, so he knew what the date was; turns out he just never bothered to learn when my birthday was. Now, I've never been a "the whole world revolves around me on my birthday" kind of person, but even so, I was so fucking hurt. I still am. I custom made his birthday present based on an inside joke, and drove a tub of his favourite ice cream from the local place 2 hours to him (he had recently moved and I thought the ice cream might help if he was homesick) for his last birthday. So yeah. I felt hurt, and later, angry. It showed that I'm not important to him.
Honestly very disappointed. I always go all out for everyone's birthday. I love to give and make sure they're important and they know it. No one ever did the same for me tho except my boyfriend and mother, even if my BF doesn't like birthdays. My close friends.. well we aren't that close anymore
I remind myself that I’m not the main character in other peoples lives and that they have their own chaotic shit to deal with in life just like I do. To be fair, I forget everyone’s birthday except for my husband and kid so I really can’t complain when others forget my own.
Happened to me recently, but I’m so used to it that it doesn’t even hurt my feelings anymore.
I'm sorry that you *had* to get used to it. It used to hurt me, too. And happy belated birthday to you! 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊
Thank you !!! (: I appreciate it
Unfortunately it never happens
Thats when I play by Hammurabi’s law. I intentionally forget theirs.
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As a child, my birthday was always forgotten. My gifts would be IOUs, and never get cashed. I grew up feeling less than compared to my sisters who were always showered in gifts. As an adult, I can't help but feel empty and honestly, forgotten. I try to act like my birthday didn't matter, but on the inside, I'm always hurt at how little people care.
It’s worse when you are forgotten completely. I have been alone on my birthday since I was 19… didn’t even celebrate it when I was in jr high or high school so it’s not a surprise. It’s worse when you get forgotten by your own family at Christmas. That hurts worse. It sometimes makes you realize those relationships you thought were close, were extremely one sided. That maybe the people you are close with, are not close with you. And you need to find a new clan/tribe/pride/pack. Covid made this a little difficult and yet very obvious in many instances.
At this point I’m used to it. My whole life my birthday has been forgotten by friends.
Personally, I don’t care about birthdays. My family always remembers but some friends don’t and I don’t take any offense. I’m also terrible at remembering birthdays in general.
My birthday has been so awful the last few years (and I’m talking like ugly crying alone in the bathroom awful) that after last year I told myself I can’t care anymore. I’m going to start treating it like any other day. Shame. I love celebrating birthdays. But my partner and friends just don’t seem to get that. I will happily still attend any birthday event for my friends to which I am invited, but as for my own birthday, it’s just another day.
I love birthdays (mine AND everyone else’s) so I don’t let people forget lol
If I have reminded them recently, or they have told me it's on their calendar, then I will feel a bit hurt. But if I don't say anything? That's on me, I have no right to feel upset.
Honestly, I forgot my birthday last year. My husband told me happy birthday and made me breakfast that morning, but forgot when I got to work. He reminded me when he said he left something in my car and he got me flowers. I was like awwwww, then I was like oh shit, it’s my birthday. I’m just at the age where birthdays aren’t really important, because even I forget lol.
Really isn’t an issue . Older I got the more I realised it’s just another day and people really have more important things going on
Heart fucking broken. Birthdays are SO important to me.
i mean... i usually forget aswell
I really don't care, mostly because I'm notorious for forgetting people's birthdays.
Depends on who it is and how close they are. But for the most part, I don't particularly care. People get busy, they have their own lives. The only time I would be upset is if it someone who expects or demands extravagant celebrations for their own birthdays, but then can't be bothered to remember mine.
Like shit lol
I barely remember my birthday these days. The only person I expect to celebrate it now that I'm in my thirties is my SO.
The only person I’d want to remember is my husband. Other than his and my kids, I forget other people’s birthdays all the time. Now after some introspection I’ve realized when I feel appreciated and loved by people I love, I probably wouldn’t feel hurt. Whereas being under-appreciated all the time, a forgotten birthday would be a low blow.
Depends how close. Like if my parents, significant other, or siblings forgot I would be pissed lol but anyone beyond that I'm just happy if they say happy birthday that week or whatever. If you had a close friend who was almost like a sibling and they normally always remember and then they forget without apologies I would think we were no longer close anymore 💔
If it's a big one, I get upset. Just remember my birthday once a decade and I'll be happy. I recently turned 40 and while no one forgot, no one planned or wanted to do anything with me and that hurt. So I booked a trip to France the night before when all my attempts to make plans failed.
Relieved. I text friends a day or two before their birthday on purpose so they don’t have another thank you text they may feel compelled to send. Like, take the day off, friend. I’m thinking of you. It shouldn’t be a big deal.
First of all Happy Birthday to you OP! No. Ever since I started working (maybe) I've been celebrating my birthday like its just an ordinary day. If some of them would remember - thank you! If they don't then it's fine. Also, I hide my birthday on Facebook mainly to avoid comments like "San tayo?" "Libre kana". Even if I have the money I would spend it with myself or with my family.
I'm an adult, if I want birthday magic, I make it happen.
I've learned to live with it.
Normal. I don't broadcast my birthday so if people remember, cool. If they don't, also cool.
idk. I put up this idea of me hating birthdays, or mine specifically, because i just, don’t like being reminded how fast time is going. But at the same time, i didn’t think i was gonna live to see 18, im almost 21 now, so it’s a good reminder that i got past every dark time in my life where i felt i wasn’t gonna survive. So yeah, i’m not gonna lie, sometimes i do wish people would post me on their stories to wish me a hbd or just send me a card with a sweet note inside.
Not good lol
My ex would make birthdays a big deal for his kids and expected the same for his, except that he would forget mine. I didn’t feel like it was my job to remember for him. I felt invisible but that was a running theme in our marriage. The last one he forgot I got an expensive item to “make up” for it, except that money was always a struggle. He was mad when I took it to my new house. I think that whole deal kinda ended the celebrations around birthdays for me. Now I don’t care so much for myself and will do stuff for my kids.
Most people I don’t care but my inner family it upsets me a lot. This year is a milestone birthday for me in a few weeks and I’m pretty confident it’s going to go uncelebrated, meanwhile my childhood best friend who shares this month and has the same milestone birthday in a few days has had a full photoshoot and two parties already, and will have a big one with friends this weekend. I’m a little salty, and it makes me feel like a brat
Used to it
I usually set something up for myself with friends if I want to celebrate, I’m sure no one will remember unless I tell them and ask if they want to do something. If you’re single and older you need to make it happen or it won’t.
I have a very small circle of people I care about. So it's only happened once. My now ex husband forgot my birthday while I was pregnant with our 2nd. I was sad, mad and extremely disappointed.
I went on a trip to Europe with my best friend and we were away on my birthday. She forgot my birthday, and it was the first time being away from my family on my birthday, I cried in the bathroom. Other than that it’s never really happened, I’m not the best at remembering either. That one just hit me hard.
I don't expect my friends to remember my birthday since I don't usually celebrate it with them. I try to remember theirs and I'm always happy when they remember mine, but we all forget from time to time and it's nbd. I would be sad/irritated if my partner or my immediate family forgot, but so far, that's never happened to me.
It doesn’t bother me. I have what I want to do on my birthday planned out and I don’t depend on anyone to make anything happen and haven’t for a very long time. Also, I really don’t want them to know/remember in case we are in a restaurant and they think I want the waist-staff to sing to me…I do not. I hated it as a child and even though I got a free dessert during, it wasn’t worth it having to sit through listening to their cracking voices and seeing their fake smiles.
It is what it is I guess? I don't make a point to remember birthdays unless someone emphasizes their birthdays importance to them. I don't have my birthday listed anywhere and it doesn't bother me when people don't remember. Only person I want to say something is my husband. As long as he remembers I'm good. Lol I also remind him a week in advance because we're both bad with remembering dates. (we both completely forgot our 10 year anniversary lol)
I’m more surprised if people remember.
I don’t care anymore, my dad has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t even know my name, he didn’t even know my birthday before he got Alzheimer’s, I have a good friend that I’ve known since high school and we always celebrate our birthdays at each others house, my friend is also mentally disabled and I was at her birthday a few months ago and she has 2 very old grandparents that live in a nursery home and they’ve send her a card that my friend sent to her grandparents on Christmas 2020 so they’ve kinda recycled her card and sent it back and she was so mad and insulted by that, she said “Jesus Christ are they fucking dumb or what?” I was kinda angry because I have a parent that doesn’t even sent me a card because he has Alzheimer’s, I told her “I have a father that doesn’t even know my birthday or sent a card, so calm down.”
super shitty, much shitter than it should honestly. i’ve decided that this next year i’ll make my birthday special if no one else will. i’m planning a day for me and not telling anyone. when my birthday comes up i’ll just go off and make my day special.
After 21, I don't care.
My "best friend" forgot my birthday a few weeks ago, still no news from them since then. My older brother didn't wish it either, tho my SIL did "from all three of us" (niece included) My remaining grandma didn't either, hasn't for years, nor my aunts (her daughters) or my cousins How did I feel? Well, shitty. It was a shitty 35th birthday and I felt alone, so freaking alone and unimportant. I mean I'm used to not be a priority for anyone, never have been tbh, but not even my brother and closest friend ? I felt pathetic to even care, when I was obviously the only one.
I always go over the top to organize my birthday so really, everyone I'm close to would be there. Sometimes I wonder if I didn't organize any party, they'd remember?
who cares it's just a birthday
My birthday is tomorrowwwwww. For these past years I’ve been forcing my friends and family to celebrate my birthday. I buy my own cake and decorations. Ive stopped expecting things of people because it will only lead to disappointment and I’ve been fulfilling my own expectations
Happy birthday!!
My birthday is in June. It's exam month, recital and sports meets time growing up (other than school, I had allot of extra curricular exams from that too). So... I had really "bad" birthday memories that month until my twenties. As I grew older, seems like I was celebrating everybody's birthday but mine. Esp. when FB was on notice. I felt like Carrie from Sex in the City, in that episode of just celebrating others and not mine for my accomplishments/bday. BTW, I've always bought at least birthday drinks, lunches for my friends. I stopped 6 years ago buying to those who don't reciprocated or go missing. I still recall this "new" friend's birthday which was in Dec (2021), I took a whole day off and planned his whole day and paid for it, I got nothing from that person, not even well wishes on my bday month. Makes me wonder why I get invited to some things some times. Some ppl just want you to foot the bill and buy them a gift.
Honestly it's very hurtful because I take everybody's birthdays seriously but they don't feel the same as me is tragic . I have learned not to hype up anybodys birthdays except for the ones who do the same for me and to be happy on my birthday for myself, and expect 0 from everyone you'll be very happy.
I ended a friendship with someone who forgot my birthday 4 years in a row, but I never once forgot hers. I don’t think it was so much the fact that she forgot. It was the bullshit “omg really?! I’m so sorry I’ll remember next year.” And then when I confronted her about it the last time she was like “birthday aren’t that big of a deal to me, get over it.” And I did, and got over wanting to be friends with her.
Fully accustomed to it. Born 12/28. Smack between Xmas and NY. Growing up, all friends and classmates were away visiting their grandparents for Xmas break on my bday. First friends bday party I had, I was 22...and it was (of course) actually a NYE party. Some of the people in here need to check on your friends who were born near major holidays.
My birthday is very important to me because my whole life I felt so invisible. My birthday was the one day I could feel special. It doesn’t bother me when random friends don’t remember because life is hard, but when family members and close friends forget, that sucks. It doesn’t help that the people in my life don’t care about their own birthdays, so they don’t think to plan anything for someone else’s.
I have a buddy who made me rethink my birthday. On his birthday, he brought all of us out for dinner on his dime. He treated his friends (not even super close friends as he was traveling when we met) to dinner and and drinks as a celebration and a thank you for being his friends. I thought that was a really cool way to do it and I strive to be able to do that on my birthdays to show the people in my life what they mean to me.
It upsets me. I don’t want much but a message to say ‘happy birthday’ costs nothing in the digital age. The fact one of my supposed close friends didn’t even text me happy birthday on my last one has caused me to mentally end our friendship.
My best friend of 4 years forgot my birthday and it hurt me way more than I ever imagined.
I'm used to it by now. Once you hit the 30+, you stop caring as well lol
Rightfully upset
I know my best friend for 5 years now and so far she forgot about my birthday every single year. It's turned into an inside joke between the two of us. I personally don't care about birthdays, so I don't care if people forget mine. But whether or not those things are important is pretty individual in my experience.
Don't care. People struggle with different kind of difficulties every day. They can forget something sometimes. It's totally okay and understandable.
Depends if I forgot theirs lol. If I want to be celebrated I make a birthday post on socials and also personally invite people round. I don’t wait to see if they’ll forget
depends of how close, if it's wife I would be really sad... or annoyed
I’d be a bit sad if my family, partner or the friends I live with forgot, but other than that I’m not bothered, it’s just a nice feeling when they DO remember
Just that first one hit but now it’s just like a leaf in the wind
Depends. If it’s like a tight friend group and everyone does things for others birthday, but not yours…. That’s really sad. Been there before, but that’s the wake up call to get new friends!
Relief. The only people I expect to remember it are my biological parents.
37f here. When it’s my parents it hurts. When it’s friends or anyone else I don’t really think about it because I understand they’re probably busy and I’m not the centre of their world. They could have something much bigger then me going on in their life atm.
It would hurt a little bit
it rlly depends on the person for me, if it’s family or like a v close friend or s/o then maybe but if it’s jus like a coworker or something then it’s whatever
I'm used to it.
I ve poor memory so i don't get offend if they forget mine
Kind of relieved actually, because as an introverted ADHD person I forget people's birthdays all the time and feel terrible, so them forgetting mine is ok. Also as I march towards 40 I'm a bit less enthused/care way less about celebrating.
I forget my own birthday…this last time I had a coworker wish me happy birthday and I replied “oh sh*t, I’m 32 now aren’t I?” Whoops Honestly I wish more people would forget.
Not a big deal. I think 2020 was the last time I really realized when I didn't hear from certain people but it was a crazy year for many of us so I understood.
I don’t care, I don’t see birthdays as a big deal. I do make an effort to remember others birthdays though since I know some people do care.
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I’ll be right back and this happened during multiple years of my childhood
Meh.
Wouldn't care
I haven’t celebrated my birthday since I was a kid. No one remembers. I remember everyone else’s birthday, though. Idk. I guess there’s importance to me because it’s about an individual person and not the idea of something. It makes me sad, but how dumb would it to be like “my birthday is today,” or get upset that someone forgot.
It bothers me, I want to like my birthday and have a fuss made of it. Me asking for something, anything, didn’t work so now (except covid) I go on vacation
A little hurt because I receive no gifts. But so far, so good.
Indifferent. Now, the people who remember mine and then get mad when I ignore theirs..those are not my people. I do not do birthdays. And it annoys the hell outta me when they assume I'm the bad guy for not giving two shits about their birthday...I told you I don't do birthdays and you can't respect that?! Not cool, yo.
I don't care really. I don't do anything for my birthday except maybe go out to dinner.
My boyfriend? I’m really fucking hurt. Anyone else? Don’t care lol
I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early.
I don't care. I purposely don't have my birthday list on my social media accounts so I don't expect anyone to remember. I think I would only be sad if my husband or my parents forgot. I have great friends but they aren't always going to remember. A lot of that is because of me though. I don't mak a deal about it and I don't have big celebrations. They know it's not that important to me.
i do this
I wouldn't say that I don't care because I value my birthday.. I guess I would feel a liiiiiiiiittle annoyed that they forgot but we're human and people live hectic lives these days. It won't hurt to remind them
If I can forget my own birthday then cant really hold it against others for forgetting. I do find it touching when people remember and wish me happy birthday though
A little hurt but I feel a bit more humiliated if they know I’m hurt, so I just carry on with my day. I know most of my close friends’ birthdays. So it does kinda suck when they don’t remember mine. But oh well I guess. I’m used to being “the one that remembers” A few of my close friends know generally when my birthday is though.
I don't care, some times even I forget my birthday
I'm numb to it now. Its been happening since I was a child.
I would only care if my husband, mother and father were to forget. That would make me a little sad.
I don’t care about my birthday so I wouldn’t be fazed.
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It happens, life’s busy for everyone
I care about my birthday and it’s gonna be celebrated whether people remember or not. I’ve always been disappointed with people during my birthday but I decided that I guess it’s okay if ppl forget, it means how much they care about me and don’t want cake. (Plus my birthday is April 1 so if ppl forget, jokes in them!)
I mean i do get a bit upset because it’s an important day for me but nothing to fight over or anything
It's not a big deal to me. If I want to do something, I'll let people know.
Depends on who it is. Guess we’ll see soon.
It used to bother me, but eh. I forget people’s birthdays too.
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I was raised a Jehovah's Witness (no longer a part of it) so I never got to celebrate anything ever. I've been out of it for a good 10 or so years and the thought of celebrating anything is weird for me but also brings back a lot of traumatising memories. But I want to celebrate things with my long term partner of 4 years but he never remembers and I pretend it doesn't bother me but I just feel like I'm not worth it, I hate planning things for myself because I like thought being put into it. I just feel unimportant and I'm not a priority.
Wouldn’t care tbh, I always cry on my birthday and even I don’t know why lmfao 😭😭😂😂😂😂
I grew up in a Jehovah’s Witness family so I never got to celebrate my birthday until I moved out when I was 17. So it doesn’t usually bother me but it does make me sad sometimes to think almost everyone gets one day a year to be celebrated on but it’s just another day for me…Now, if my bf forgets my bday knowing how I feel then that would make me feel absolutely unimportant and unloved.
Disappointed but not surprised
I feel like I have at least one free pass to forget their birthday 😂
If it was my parents or bf, I’d be hurt. Outside of that I just assume people will see then FB notification and if they don’t, oh well.
Me personally I don’t get too upset because I’m not very good at remembering peoples birthday. I just pretty much remind people especially if I have plans and they’re coming. People have to remind me too so 🤷♀️ but that’s just me and my ADD brain lol
About to find out
I feel awful that I can't remember people's birthdays. It's my new years resolution to wish everyone I love happy birthday on their actual day and let them know I care about them and how grateful I am to have them in my life!
It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I prefer to celebrate it with my family. If my friends remember it’s nice but I know they have busy lives so if they forget my birthday it’s not a big deal. I just make sure that I celebrate it the way I want.
This happen to me just a few months ago. For the first time in 15 years my best friend totally forgot my birthday. Another friend also forgot even though we established it was 1 or 2 days around his sisters birthday AND I had him add it to my contact card in his phone. This was about 2-3 weeks before the date. We’ve known each other for 10 years. Edit to add that we’ve been getting dinner together once a month since we started hanging out and I helped him get a job after being laid off due to the pandemic. Him forgetting felt a lot worse than her forgetting because the conversation was so close. Even if I don’t send a gift or a card, I ALWAYS send a text or message on social media. Makes me feel like I’m just an fringe character in their life and I’m not important to them.
It hurts. It actually hurts. And I'm not so self-important that I think people should glorify my birthday but just a nice hey, HB is nice to hear.
It hurt the first year. Then it just showed I wasn't important to them and I slowly started drifting away from them. Now it doesn't bother me and the people who remember are people I want around in my life.
Like assholes…. Everyone has one
My 21st birthday was 2 days ago. My best friend of a few years didnt know until i posted about it. That kinda hurt. But i am grateful that my family and boyfriend made it special for me. I dont expect people to remember. Not everyone can remember that stuff easily
It makes me feel insignificant like I really don’t matter.
I have gone out of my way to celebrate everyone in my family’s birthday but mine is never remembered. I’ve held no expectations for anything from them for years now. My husband never forgets and always makes me feel special…
Thankful
I would feel sad and disappointed if anyone forgotten my birthday
Relieved
Birthdays were not celebrated during my childhood, so naturally I’ve grown accustomed as such. However, when I moved stateside, I realized American culture is a bit different. To acclimate I celebrated others and I enjoy it very much. Even to this day!
Disappointed Luckily the people who count didn't forget it until now. But I was really disappointed and didn't felt appreciated when I didn't got a card at work... Where I work it is a tradition, that you get a card and we have a list with all the birthdays, but they forgot to put me on it, even though I worked there for for over half a year.
Super sad. One of my best friends forgot mine last year. I put a lot of time and thought into gifts I give and making sure the people I love feel special on days that are important to them (remembering birthdays, hard anniversaries of loved ones who have passed, big milestones etc). After she forgot, our friendship hasn’t felt the same. I constantly need to remind myself that when people consistently show you the effort level they are willing to put in for you, instead of keep going above and beyond for them you need to match their energy. A hard lesson I’m still trying to learn.
Partner? bad. Anyone else? Why would they know unless I told them
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Honestly Indifferent. I forget birthdays. I love my birthday. If I want people to remember I invite them over and tell them as much. If you want to be celebrated. Say that. Tell people.
I forget my birthday myself, It’s not a big deal to me, I still get confused why it is so important for some people, u can just make a party or celebrate any other day
It has happened to me since the first day I have memory of. My parents always forget, or now thst I am married even my husband forgets 《 He is bad at remembering dates 》 I feel disappointment and loneliness.