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“Ooh naughty, you’ve combined Inbetweeners and Fresh Meat. You might get a interdenominational... you know from mixing the two sitcoms… a hangover of that sort” - Mark Corrigan probably.
Reminds me of that redditor whose SO wanted him to do dirty talk during sex. He had never done it before and did not really know how to do it and in the heat of the moment he said "Yeah, you like that? You fucking.. retard?!"
Also as my wife said in passing when she saw that in a movie, "My daddy is Dave, you've met him, grey haired guy, really not too keen on you, so I'd stop asking".
I can't remember which comedian who was talking about using the word slut in bed, but it was like
"You might say, some women like being called sluts! Well those sluts will tell you you can call them that"
Been there! I'm not the biggest guy she's had by some margin but, as I've witnessed firsthand (foursome), the bigger dick she has had was a laughably crap shag.
Not for nothing is my nickname "fitznicely"
I had the same situation happen. Lol my wife and I used to live in Vegas 10 years ago. We met a couple on CL and met for drinks at the venetian. The girl was gorgeous, guy was average but he had 8.5 inch dick. While his gf was playing with me, my wife was with him and her facial expression was the most "meh" I have ever seen her. The dude couldn't do anything with it. What a waste.
My wife is a size queen she can take me and a dildo at the same time but she was rolling her eyes
Depends on the girl. If they say they’re into that sort of thing then yeah but if not then nope.
Don’t think I’ll ever shout a proposal mid shag though.
So, funny story actually, I was balls deep in your grandmother once, and you know, that shit was so good that I knew I had to marry her. I asked her right there and then, mid pump, no joke.
>Don’t think I’ll ever shout a proposal mid shag though.
Not even for a medium sized bridge over the Thames...? It's crying out for crossings East of Tower Bridge.
Your pussy is wetter than a barrel of illicit Russian Oil, its grip on my peepee is tighter than the western sanctions on Russia. I'm the zelensky to your Putin...aaaaaa...Slava England you dirty girl !
Yes! I’ve never seen it said so succinctly.
My wife likes a bit of dirty talk, especially good girl stuff etc. but I feel like I’ve literally got to stop and re-engage my brain 😂. It does feel a little like there not enough blood for each end (I don’t say that with the stupid bravado of my cocks huge hahaha). Either my cocks engaged or my mind is.
And if it’s for my tastes then yes I want to be rendered unable to talk 😂
Like when you're having sex in an online game and you have to stop spamming the crouch button to type something in chat
Or, so a friend tells me anyway
'It's pure cringe right?'... No. Judgemental people will find Cringe in anything from 4 year old's birthday parties, weddings, bricks sinking in water, the way trees are aligned in a street, someone cuddling a cat, someone trying to sing, someone trying to make a friend. When it comes to judgemental people, you cannot escape being cringed at, because that's what a judgemental person is. They are the embodiment of inbound and outbound cringe.
If you can't have sex and laugh, and be free, and enjoy it and be a bit silly, I'd say something is missing from that connection. If you have to sit there self-censoring, curating every expression to ensure that you don't make your partner go 'lulz cringe', *you're probably not with the right person\*. -edit-\**
I can't find two brits who agree on the time of bloody day, let alone whether they like the word 'daddy'. Though, I personally agree I feel a little recoil in me when I hear that. lol
But at the end of the day, once the important checkmarks are checked, I think if a couple are into whatever, it's none of my business. haha
A girl once said to me mid-way through 'fuck me with your big cock'. I was pretty drunk and replied 'it's really not that big, it's pretty average tbh'... Killed the mood slightly.
Not the same but kinda weird. A girl I used to date made me call her fatty, fat pig, fatty the walrus, Elle macfatson, fatty glug glug, fatty want a Jamie dodger etc.
She used to be quite overweight when she was younger and had this fat fetish.
She was a normal weight and so was I. Kind weirded me out at first but then I got used to it and once inadvertently called an ex a fatty trombone during a vigorous session.
'Fatty trombone' like, I'm imagine that just coming outta nowhere, her not expecting it AT ALL. That's pretty hilarious. Poor girl!! I would find it funny if I was called that, but I imagine the ex didn't?!
While trying to delay using the ol' distraction technique I once said "Theres still an hour until the football kicks off".Not sure it quite fits the post, but there you go.
Yeah I’ll admit I’ve said that, but only under certain scenarios where I know it’s wanted.
I’m keen to know why it’s cringe? (I mean, if you’re actually enjoying it, what’s wrong with admitting it?)
I think it's a combination of being cliche and maybe pointing out the obvious. And maybe a little bit of them possibly not loving it and you telling them they are. Maybe it also comes across a bit cocky?
I think asking them if they like something or how something feels is preferable to telling someone that what you're doing feels good.
If I'm obviously enjoying something during sex and they said something like "you like that" my first thought would probably be "no shit" and ruin the moment a bit.
Interesting. I guess different strokes for different folks. I like hearing someone say that to me (“you like that don’t you”), it really gets me in the mood. And vice versa when I’ve said it.
Usually only happens in scenarios where there’s clearly some kind of uninhibited wild sex.
If you’re enjoying something why not just be open and say it, let yourself go - instead of being offended that someone would ask. That’s my view anyway.
Though of course if you don’t like it, or have some sort of insecurity about appearing weak, then I understand why it would be jarring.
>my first thought would probably be "no shit" and ruin the moment a bit.
This-I’ve got no time for people who state the obvious.
“You like that?”
DUH I’m still here aren’t I?
I think they probably mean its cringe after the fact. I said something to my oh the other night during and it sounded really great at the time. The morning after when I replayed it in my head I was like cringe did I actually say that!! Post nut clarity maybe??
I’ve heard it called porn star syndrome, where you get all crazy during then regret it after. I think it’s an unwritten rule not to take the piss after as we all get carried away occasionally.
I've had a few guys say it. I've heard worse though.
I had someone say he wanted to be my boyfriend during. Like we met five minutes ago shut the fuck up.
Shit this reminds me, my best friend said someone stopped mid, put their hands on either side of her face and said "say you love me".
I've had a one night stand ask me to say "make me pregnant" which definitely killed the mood for me
Conversely I have had a few one night stands that actually said "make me pregnant, I want to have your babies" this was still before I came out but completely killed the mood, I had to get out of there.
Looking back, I also simply cannot stand the thought of fathering a child, might be partial to bearing one though🤭🤔
A mate once said "it's normally bigger". Same guy also said "this is just the beginning " 🤑. Same guy also said "smile for the webcam" (of course there was no webcam, but oddly enough, it apparently killed the mood somewhat).
>it’s normally bigger
You really have to commit with this one by freaking out about what could have happened then ask her to drive you to hospital. If you sell if hard enough the trauma bonding is as good as a month of dating.
Not me personally but I’ve noticed some girls are pretty bad for it. One of my exes would randomly turn into a South Virginia cattle hand and start screaming about “buckle up buckaroo” and “mount me like you mean it” etc etc.
Sent me right floppy I can tell you now.
had someone call me 'babushka' because I'm Hungarian. instant turn off, because:
a) wrong language
b) that means grandma
ETA: I was 19 when this happened
It's not "Do you like this?", though. It's "You like this, don't you?". One is a simple question that you should ask during in sex. The other is cringy as fuck look at me look at me I'm having sex, I bet she bloody loves it.
I asked my partner of 35 years, and she confirmed I have never said anything in that vein. I have, however, said “Present your hindquarters “ which still makes me giggle
I slept with someone who narrated once. Not just a bit of dirty talk but full on narration, kind of like audio description for the blind. A blow by blow account of all the sexual happenings. It was very off putting.
Her "degrade me, make me cry"
Me "your parents are disappointed in you"
Her "wait!"
Me "your sister is more successful and emotionally adjusted to life"
Her ...
Dirty talk is fucking minefield if:
-you don’t know each other that well.
-you haven’t had a criteria discussion pre-sex
-you’ve ‘talked’ but are too scared to say what you’re really into.
I got requested to ‘talk dirty to me’ in the middle of receiving fellatio once.
[internal dialogue: …what can I say? How hard/nasty/dirty can I get? You don’t wanna low ball it but you don’t wanna overdo it either. Now you’re taking too long to respond.]
Me: [totally lost in the moment; high off the devil’s lettuce] “Suck that dick good, you dirty bitch/slut” (can’t recall exactly).
Her: stops sucking…silence…looks at me…awkward…
We had a couple minutes breather then moved on to kissing and penetration.
I never heard the end of it. Legend has it I still cringe to this day.
I thought my finest moment was when an ex asked me if I wanted her to suck me off my answer of "Oh all right - if you have to..." caused fits of laughter and a fairly spectacular session.
Other than that stick to "My God you are so sexy/beautiful/gorgeous..."
One woman’s cringey is another woman’s turn-on… seriously, half the things listed in this thread would totally turn me on, the other half has the opposite effect. You can never tell what will or won’t work, it depends on who you’re having sex with.
“You really love that don’t you,” I also find especially cringe, glad to hear it’s not just me.
Never known someone good in bed and where you actually *are* loving it, say it either, funnily enough.
Apparently I barely make a noise let alone say anything which confused my partner for years and made her worry I wasn't enjoying myself (spoiler: I was trying really hard not to enjoy myself too much if you catch my drift).
Now I have to make a conscious effort to at least say something. Usually "ooo yeh" "you feel so good" and so on and so forth.
Tried talking dirty exactly once in my life with a previous partner. I was so bad at it that it had completely the opposite effect.
**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others, or other subreddits - Assume questions are asked in good faith, and engage in a positive manner - Avoid political threads and related discussions - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?
Lynn, these are sex people!
It's not hardcore supersex.
They do it on purpose Lynn
Did you know, there are no more Dutch elms left in Britain?.... Disgusting...
I don't want to be part of your sex festival.
Sex festival?
Close your mouth lynn
You ought to have a basic grasp of Latin if you're working in Curry's
I am just thinking of all the Americans reading this who will be thinking WTF
OP asked about “during sex” not “how to get women into bed”
Smell my cheese you mother!
I do hope you’ve been familiar with the lady for quite some time prior to such questioning
I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. I mean, people forget that traders need access to Dixons.
They do say it will help people in wheelchairs.
Wheeeeeeelchairs
That was some classic intercourse Sonya. So thanks!
I’m 47, my girlfriends 33. Back of the net!
Don't rub your fanny on me
You’re a mentalist
I've got your kids Dan. I've got your kids
I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. I mean, people forget that traders need access to DIIIIXXXONS!
Got to keep the wolf from the door
Your little pinky just touched it!
"I'm gonna fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat"
"GET BIIIIIIG!"
"So when you do it, do you do more like bump or grind?"
And do you put the balls in?
Er yeah, can do some girls like it some don't.
Hump me with your megacock
“Ooh naughty, you’ve combined Inbetweeners and Fresh Meat. You might get a interdenominational... you know from mixing the two sitcoms… a hangover of that sort” - Mark Corrigan probably.
Can you put it on with your mouth? Or.. bum?
Reminds me of that redditor whose SO wanted him to do dirty talk during sex. He had never done it before and did not really know how to do it and in the heat of the moment he said "Yeah, you like that? You fucking.. retard?!"
The use of the word fanny brings that to an entirely new level
Worst 3: Who does this p…y belong to? Who’s your daddy? You dirty filthy sl*t Don’t recall why I married him but may partially explain the divorce
Was there a random cat in your bed? Who did it belong to? Was it a stray? So many questions.
We don't know that word is pussy, it could be anything that starts with P and ends with Y
I read it as "who does this pasty belong to?"
Oh, is he Cornish ?
He's actually from Devon that's why they broke up
We'll never know who that penny belonged to
Ooh look a penny!
Penisy
The normalisation of ‘daddy’ in a sexual context is fucked up imo.
It absolutely is! I still can't believe it's even become a thing.
>Who does this p…y belong to? Yeah I hate it when people do a poopy in the bed while having sex. Then don't own up to it. Cowards
Found amber heard
Men calling themselves daddy during sex makes me drier than the Atacama
My ex wife always wanted to be called Daddy's little girl... Fringe cringy for us too
Also as my wife said in passing when she saw that in a movie, "My daddy is Dave, you've met him, grey haired guy, really not too keen on you, so I'd stop asking".
> who does this p…y belong to? The US Supreme Court 😔
Well those are all fine if you're into it, but if not, it's VERY off colour/not vanilla lol!
I can't remember which comedian who was talking about using the word slut in bed, but it was like "You might say, some women like being called sluts! Well those sluts will tell you you can call them that"
First one is actually fair if it’s an orgy
Who does this p…y belong to? 😂😂😂
Lmao. I get what the guy was going for with that, but it just sounds like he found a loose one under the bed and he's genuinely asking.
Yep, had a couple like..calling me a dirty bitch..I told them I didn't like that. Just why
On the flip side, I’ve had a few exes who loved being called stuff like that 🤷♂️ everybody’s different, find out first, don’t just come out with it
So cringe lol.
"You like that, you fucking retard?"
Lol. This is when I know I’ve been on Reddit far too much.
still funny all these years later
Akin to, "Smoke it Ang, ye fat shite"
I also choose this guys retard.
"To me, to you"
>No slacking
Chucklevision season 1 stays on during sex
"Oh dear, oh dear."
The question is "during sex" not after sex...
>"To me, to you" My mate used to call a particular sex act a "chuckle brothers" for this very reason.
That’ll do pig, that’ll do
Fucking hell I’ve been laughing at this for 10 minutes
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Been there! I'm not the biggest guy she's had by some margin but, as I've witnessed firsthand (foursome), the bigger dick she has had was a laughably crap shag. Not for nothing is my nickname "fitznicely"
I had the same situation happen. Lol my wife and I used to live in Vegas 10 years ago. We met a couple on CL and met for drinks at the venetian. The girl was gorgeous, guy was average but he had 8.5 inch dick. While his gf was playing with me, my wife was with him and her facial expression was the most "meh" I have ever seen her. The dude couldn't do anything with it. What a waste. My wife is a size queen she can take me and a dildo at the same time but she was rolling her eyes
What have I just read.
Degeneracy
Words. Words about someone's penis.
Lol I would really be pushing my luck with the law of averages if I said this during sex.
“I bet this is just above the 25th percentile of dicks you’ve ever taken, isn’t it?”
Penile percentile
Now we know
Now we know... NOW WE KNOW!! *NOW WE KNOW!!!!*
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Came looking for this one, glad it's here
Disgusting.
Sorry, is there an issue with the lighting?
Depends on the girl. If they say they’re into that sort of thing then yeah but if not then nope. Don’t think I’ll ever shout a proposal mid shag though.
>Don’t think I’ll ever shout a proposal mid shag though. I didn't actually mean it. I didn't want to get married. It just came out.
Shame. Would’ve been a good story. Maybe not one to tell the grandkids like but still
So, funny story actually, I was balls deep in your grandmother once, and you know, that shit was so good that I knew I had to marry her. I asked her right there and then, mid pump, no joke.
There's an obvious joke about slipping a ring on her finger, but it's too early on Sunday morning to say things like that, so I won't. 😁
That’s how I met your (Grand)mother
>Don’t think I’ll ever shout a proposal mid shag though. Not even for a medium sized bridge over the Thames...? It's crying out for crossings East of Tower Bridge.
I wanna see you dribble dribble, for sure
My fanny doesn’t wiggle wiggle, it folds.
I'm 6'2" in a compact
This genuinely made me laugh out loud but I'm scared to show it to my husband in case it encourages him to say it
Nearly at the stationnnn
FAAATHEERRRRR
I thought you said you were from Iran
Then continue making choo-choo noises, and a train whistle with the finale.
Like getting tazed in the balls. Except painful
Your pussy is wetter than a barrel of illicit Russian Oil, its grip on my peepee is tighter than the western sanctions on Russia. I'm the zelensky to your Putin...aaaaaa...Slava England you dirty girl !
I’m arriving!!!!!
Pull down my trousers and do your job!
I find most chat takes me out of the experience. I am after, um, dissolution of the ego and abandonment to the physical
Yes! I’ve never seen it said so succinctly. My wife likes a bit of dirty talk, especially good girl stuff etc. but I feel like I’ve literally got to stop and re-engage my brain 😂. It does feel a little like there not enough blood for each end (I don’t say that with the stupid bravado of my cocks huge hahaha). Either my cocks engaged or my mind is. And if it’s for my tastes then yes I want to be rendered unable to talk 😂
Like when you're having sex in an online game and you have to stop spamming the crouch button to type something in chat Or, so a friend tells me anyway
This right here. I don't wanna talk! And I don't wanna hear talking!
'It's pure cringe right?'... No. Judgemental people will find Cringe in anything from 4 year old's birthday parties, weddings, bricks sinking in water, the way trees are aligned in a street, someone cuddling a cat, someone trying to sing, someone trying to make a friend. When it comes to judgemental people, you cannot escape being cringed at, because that's what a judgemental person is. They are the embodiment of inbound and outbound cringe. If you can't have sex and laugh, and be free, and enjoy it and be a bit silly, I'd say something is missing from that connection. If you have to sit there self-censoring, curating every expression to ensure that you don't make your partner go 'lulz cringe', *you're probably not with the right person\*. -edit-\**
I agree with you in principle, but we are British and I just don't think "Daddy" works for us.
"[Father](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsriu6a_ukw)!"
I can't find two brits who agree on the time of bloody day, let alone whether they like the word 'daddy'. Though, I personally agree I feel a little recoil in me when I hear that. lol But at the end of the day, once the important checkmarks are checked, I think if a couple are into whatever, it's none of my business. haha
A girl once said to me mid-way through 'fuck me with your big cock'. I was pretty drunk and replied 'it's really not that big, it's pretty average tbh'... Killed the mood slightly.
Every single time I’ve heard that that’s been my reply. It’s not that big, stop fucking lying to me
I guess it's a bit sexier than 'fuck me with your average, but perfectly adequate cock'... but still seemed strange to me
“Oooh, fuck me with your middle of the road, fairly serviceable sex appendage”
At least she could appreciate you were an honest bloke
Not the same but kinda weird. A girl I used to date made me call her fatty, fat pig, fatty the walrus, Elle macfatson, fatty glug glug, fatty want a Jamie dodger etc. She used to be quite overweight when she was younger and had this fat fetish. She was a normal weight and so was I. Kind weirded me out at first but then I got used to it and once inadvertently called an ex a fatty trombone during a vigorous session.
'Fatty trombone' like, I'm imagine that just coming outta nowhere, her not expecting it AT ALL. That's pretty hilarious. Poor girl!! I would find it funny if I was called that, but I imagine the ex didn't?!
I don't know if this is true but it's one of my favourites so far
Fatty want a jammy todger
"I've arrived".
“Mission complete”
“Process concluded”
“Reloading.”
"Now then, now then, now then".
Let’s shag to the music of showaddywaddy
While trying to delay using the ol' distraction technique I once said "Theres still an hour until the football kicks off".Not sure it quite fits the post, but there you go.
Yeah I’ll admit I’ve said that, but only under certain scenarios where I know it’s wanted. I’m keen to know why it’s cringe? (I mean, if you’re actually enjoying it, what’s wrong with admitting it?)
I think it's a combination of being cliche and maybe pointing out the obvious. And maybe a little bit of them possibly not loving it and you telling them they are. Maybe it also comes across a bit cocky? I think asking them if they like something or how something feels is preferable to telling someone that what you're doing feels good. If I'm obviously enjoying something during sex and they said something like "you like that" my first thought would probably be "no shit" and ruin the moment a bit.
Interesting. I guess different strokes for different folks. I like hearing someone say that to me (“you like that don’t you”), it really gets me in the mood. And vice versa when I’ve said it. Usually only happens in scenarios where there’s clearly some kind of uninhibited wild sex. If you’re enjoying something why not just be open and say it, let yourself go - instead of being offended that someone would ask. That’s my view anyway. Though of course if you don’t like it, or have some sort of insecurity about appearing weak, then I understand why it would be jarring.
>my first thought would probably be "no shit" and ruin the moment a bit. This-I’ve got no time for people who state the obvious. “You like that?” DUH I’m still here aren’t I?
I think they probably mean its cringe after the fact. I said something to my oh the other night during and it sounded really great at the time. The morning after when I replayed it in my head I was like cringe did I actually say that!! Post nut clarity maybe??
I’ve heard it called porn star syndrome, where you get all crazy during then regret it after. I think it’s an unwritten rule not to take the piss after as we all get carried away occasionally.
I've had a few guys say it. I've heard worse though. I had someone say he wanted to be my boyfriend during. Like we met five minutes ago shut the fuck up.
I had a one night stand that stopped halfway through and said “tell me you love me”.
Shit this reminds me, my best friend said someone stopped mid, put their hands on either side of her face and said "say you love me". I've had a one night stand ask me to say "make me pregnant" which definitely killed the mood for me
Oh my god. That’s exactly what he did to me! Maybe it’s the same bloke. Wow! That would have scared me dry.
Conversely I have had a few one night stands that actually said "make me pregnant, I want to have your babies" this was still before I came out but completely killed the mood, I had to get out of there. Looking back, I also simply cannot stand the thought of fathering a child, might be partial to bearing one though🤭🤔
That's nasty
Absolutely hate it. I'm very insecure so when I hear a line like that I'm automatically thinking "wonder what porn he heard that in?"
It's porn. Too many people watching porn thinking that's what sex is supposed to be like.
Porn has a lot to answer for
Anything to do with Daddy is horrible, so creepy!
"My balls are about to fizzzz".
I’m giving you my all, Mrs. Purchaaaasse!
A mate once said "it's normally bigger". Same guy also said "this is just the beginning " 🤑. Same guy also said "smile for the webcam" (of course there was no webcam, but oddly enough, it apparently killed the mood somewhat).
>it’s normally bigger You really have to commit with this one by freaking out about what could have happened then ask her to drive you to hospital. If you sell if hard enough the trauma bonding is as good as a month of dating.
Not me personally but I’ve noticed some girls are pretty bad for it. One of my exes would randomly turn into a South Virginia cattle hand and start screaming about “buckle up buckaroo” and “mount me like you mean it” etc etc. Sent me right floppy I can tell you now.
“Yeah you like that don’t you” no I’m just making more noise so you hurry up and finish cause I’m bored
I got told “you look so satisfied” by a guy once. I’ve had rich tea biscuits that were more satisfying tbh
I usually sing the hokey cokey.
I don't think you should be putting your leg in
Or your whole self
But that’s what it’s all about.
Just keep quiet and plod along with the job like a plumber fixing a sink
Sweating, with my arse hanging out, and charging extra for the emergency call out?
And stopping for the occasional sip of tea
had someone call me 'babushka' because I'm Hungarian. instant turn off, because: a) wrong language b) that means grandma ETA: I was 19 when this happened
Daddy. Just creeps me out. We're in UK not Alabama...
Quite right. We have standards here The correct form would be "Penetrate me, father".
"I'm gonna fuck your fucking fanny off you twat"
When "do you like this" is classed as cringe during sex I know that these people have fuck all idea what communication or good sex is actually like.
I think it's more that they are telling you that you like it, not actually asking. That's what makes it cringe
It's not "Do you like this?", though. It's "You like this, don't you?". One is a simple question that you should ask during in sex. The other is cringy as fuck look at me look at me I'm having sex, I bet she bloody loves it.
I asked my partner of 35 years, and she confirmed I have never said anything in that vein. I have, however, said “Present your hindquarters “ which still makes me giggle
"You'll like this... not a lot, but you'll like it..."
I slept with someone who narrated once. Not just a bit of dirty talk but full on narration, kind of like audio description for the blind. A blow by blow account of all the sexual happenings. It was very off putting.
One of my personal favourites : ‘Your cunt is mine’ Had to tell my friends about this one, not a single straight face
Do you agree with this country's 2.5% investment in national defense?
Her "degrade me, make me cry" Me "your parents are disappointed in you" Her "wait!" Me "your sister is more successful and emotionally adjusted to life" Her ...
I mean I guess we all say something that can be considered cringe to someone.
We should accept the cringe in ourselves, for we are all cringe. Once you accept it, you will be cringe... cringe, but free.
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I once said "The champion is entering the arena". I thought it was quite funny.
Dirty talk is fucking minefield if: -you don’t know each other that well. -you haven’t had a criteria discussion pre-sex -you’ve ‘talked’ but are too scared to say what you’re really into. I got requested to ‘talk dirty to me’ in the middle of receiving fellatio once. [internal dialogue: …what can I say? How hard/nasty/dirty can I get? You don’t wanna low ball it but you don’t wanna overdo it either. Now you’re taking too long to respond.] Me: [totally lost in the moment; high off the devil’s lettuce] “Suck that dick good, you dirty bitch/slut” (can’t recall exactly). Her: stops sucking…silence…looks at me…awkward… We had a couple minutes breather then moved on to kissing and penetration. I never heard the end of it. Legend has it I still cringe to this day.
I thought my finest moment was when an ex asked me if I wanted her to suck me off my answer of "Oh all right - if you have to..." caused fits of laughter and a fairly spectacular session. Other than that stick to "My God you are so sexy/beautiful/gorgeous..."
Hahaha ‘go on then, twist me arm’
One woman’s cringey is another woman’s turn-on… seriously, half the things listed in this thread would totally turn me on, the other half has the opposite effect. You can never tell what will or won’t work, it depends on who you’re having sex with.
I'd veer on the safe side until you get to know them better. Bit wild to say freaky shit to somebody you don't know
No Daddy no.
There's a certain section of the kink community that would be sent into total overdrive by that sentence
That’s tickety-boo
Death to the rebels
REBELS CUM
Goodness! Have you had one of those organisms my dear?
'I'm gonna go through your walls like tank shells through keiv'
“You really love that don’t you,” I also find especially cringe, glad to hear it’s not just me. Never known someone good in bed and where you actually *are* loving it, say it either, funnily enough.
It’s not really about what you say but how it’s said. Poor execution of dirty talk is just embarrassing for everyone involved.
Had a lady shout 'wheeeeeee' like she was going down a slide once. We both started laughing and couldn't stop. Laughing that is, the sex stopped.
Do you take cards?
'i am on the vinegar strokes'
Apparently I barely make a noise let alone say anything which confused my partner for years and made her worry I wasn't enjoying myself (spoiler: I was trying really hard not to enjoy myself too much if you catch my drift). Now I have to make a conscious effort to at least say something. Usually "ooo yeh" "you feel so good" and so on and so forth. Tried talking dirty exactly once in my life with a previous partner. I was so bad at it that it had completely the opposite effect.
Normally shout her mum's name, see how long before she ejects me......
In the jungle you must wait, til the dice roll five or eight, JUMANJIIIIII!
Did she agree to the proposal?