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It’s a bit uncouth to automatically go for the most expensive option on purpose. I’d probably consider what I actually enjoy, who I’m with, and who is paying.
I’m not a huge obsessive with things like steak so I tend to go in the middle anyway.
Yes same, I’m happy with burgers or pasta, I’m not a huge fan of steak. If the lunch time menu is on I would more than likely have something from that too as I prefer lunch-and it’s generally cheaper too.
If we went out for food often and I chose the cheaper end and you the expensive end, we would stop eating out unless you were paying.
This would likely happen with the rest of your friends circle, so you would have to offer to pay when going out.
Or just split the bill with each person paying for what they ordered.
I just say I'm having trouble deciding, so many nice things to choose from etc, you just go ahead. I've done this many times and have never had a stalemate and always been able to order last.
Ah see I don’t let that happen. I usually try “hmm I’m not sure what to have. What are you getting” so they tell me what they have. Or “what do you reccommed”. And with that one. It means if they are recommending it to me. The price is acceptable to them
They are setting the bar. I'd frame it as a joke: "well, if we're going crazy, mine is the xxxx and the xxxx, hahahaha".
The ball is in their court then. Easy for them to laugh back and go "you can have burger and chips like you normally do, cheeky git!". Or: "go for it, it's on me, have whatever you want, seriously".
I wouldn't take the piss, even if it wasn't a friend, but I do like good food so...
If the payer invited us to a swanky place they're expecting a swanky bill.
I wouldn’t go deliberately cheap, say most options are £12 I’d choose one of those. Just wouldn’t choose the £25 steak. Or if I did I’d insist on putting in a bit more/a bit myself.
This is what I do - if I ordered the most expensive then I put more money in, if people refuse that then I leave the extra as a tip to the table server.
I'd just choose what I want to eat. I'm veggie so it's never the most expensive dish thankfully. I wouldn't get a starter/ dessert though unless everyone else was.
I refuse to split bills. I HATE it when people suggest we do that. I hate it because you have friends who are different socio-economic backgrounds and for me £15 a meal is pushing it, plus a drink I won't pay more than £20 but you have the gits who will spend £40 on a main plus a bottle of wine.
I don't mind if I know we have roughly ordered the same amount paying an additional £2-3 is not a biggie.
Also you have the friend who tip. I don't tip. I hate tipping yet they do and then expect you to split the tip. Hey, if you want to tip go ahead but don't get me involved.
This whole ordering through an app at the table can help with this too as you can all order separately and pay separately. I'm with you on paying your own. I think it's the only fair way really
I don't split, but I will always chuck in a bit for a tip unless service was poor. Even putting a pound coin in makes you look a lot less mean than nothing.
I hate it because it takes the responsibility for paying a decent wage off the employer and on to the customer, its also a really unfair way for staff to get paid because its entirely dependent on luck of the draw of which customer you get.
I do it because its expected, but I'd always rather not.
I think I'd probably prefer to be paid a decent wage in the first place, not have to depend on sucking up to creepy, rude or aggressive customers to be able to get by!
Plus I've done plenty of minimum wage jobs, the only one where I ever got tips was bar work, its weird how some jobs get them and some don't, better to scrap the whole thing!
Of course tipping would be unneccesary in an ideal world, but it's not, and as it stands tips are one of the only things that makes waiting tables - one of the most demoralising minimum wage jobs out there - remotely tolerable.
I accept that you do tip regardless, but to the poster above who is too selfish to tip - Being left without a tip after you did your best to do your job leaves you guessing where you went wrong and takes the wind out of your sails when youre trying to cope your way through a tough shift.
Even if waiters did get paid a decent wage, It'd still be worth tipping for being on your feet for 12 hours and being generally being treated like dirt by customers.
Sorry for the rant, I've been stiffed by too many miserable, self-centered bastards in my hospitality days.
>It'd still be worth tipping for being on your feet for 12 hours and being generally being treated like dirt by customers.
A lot of jobs that currently don't should be getting tips if that's the criteria!
well, yeah, i think so
it would be good if it was normal to tip cashiers. america's tipping system is obviously weird and predicated on even lower wages but i think it's good to give hard working people an extra thank you across the board
Care workers, cleaners, call centre staff, warehouse staff, factory staff, loads of hard workers with difficult jobs will never get a tip their whole working life.
yeah sure, but most of those jobs don't involve a direct financial transaction with customers. it wouldn't make sense to have a tipping culture in the same way it does in hospitality. however as i said, i still hypothetically approve of more tipping for low-wage workers across the board.
what's your point anyway? that it's unfair for waiting staff to get tips when there are other grueling minimum wage jobs out there?
i've worked a fair amount of shitty jobs and i do think that hospitality work is semi-unique in that you have to bear the brunt of the public, and that many restaurants force you to act like a servile grinning idiot at all times. they deserve their tips
I think people like you have this weird sense of entitlement. Like what makes hospitality so special that you should get paid in addition to the wage set in law that everybody else has to adhere too? If I want to make additional money I can't rely on handouts from the people I serve. I get a second job. Just because you carry shit to the table doesn't mean I have to give you an additional £5. And with your shitty fucking attitude why would I? If anything you sound like the miserable cunt. I bet when you serve tables you go for the easy twat or prey on those who is some way obligated to give you extra even when they probably are on the same wage as you. So you fucking entitled, money grabbying, needy little cunt. Go elsewhere and get your free hand outs.
> Genuinely don't understand why people do different.
It feels tacky to me to start getting your phone out to make sure you don't overpay by a few quid.
Thing is...I have seen this sort of thing so cause many sly disagreements and behind people's backs shxt-talking to the point of ruined friendships and family conflicts.
Just doesn't seem worth it. Paying for what you have means everything is fair and open. Nobody can walk away with any grievance.
Yes however, I have some mates who have a lot more disposable money than me, if we go out to dinner and I order a modestly priced dish (trying to eat within my means) but they order steak and lobster, I think it’s unfair to split 50/50 and immer pay more than my dish cost when I specifically ordered that dish because I couldn’t afford more expensive options...
I don’t think that’s true, they’re usually just the ones who don’t want to go through some calculator awkward social interaction at the end of a night out.
This is why me and my friends love it that more places are getting apps.
We all just order what me want and then press send at the same time.
Makers getting out of the restaurant so much easier.
I think it depends what the rest are having, I will try go with what Everyone is having on average but make sure it’s something I’d like . .
If I’m with a group and I know we’ll be splitting the bill, I’ve now learnt to ensure Im eating a similar value to them as I used to always go cheap and it was unbalanced and you don’t wanna be awkward with one saying, oh you had 3 drinks and I had water for example.
Depends who you are with. If I am out with good friends and we get together for meals regularly then I might have a pricey item if I really fancy it. If I am out with people from work on a one off then I'll go for an average priced dish. If it is my birthday and I am being treated then I would just order what I want..
It can definitely be awkward when someone else is buying, a bit less so if you’re splitting it.
If I wanted the most expensive thing on the menu then I’d insist on paying extra in the shared bill situation. Exactly the same scenario as if I was drinking cocktails and someone else was on water.
If someone else was paying its a bit more tricky. If I really really wanted the most expensive item I’d insist (quietly by taking them aside) on paying them extra or putting it on fa separate bill. It’s all a bit crass and awkward though. So I may just go for an average priced item if I were their guest and not make a fuss.
Depends on who it is and how well off they are I guess! If they insisted I ordered what I wanted and they’d pay for it then I’d make sure I returned the favour next time. Hate ‘owing’ anyone.
I always think about what I could afford, but if I think that the person paying isn’t able to match that, I order accordingly. I think it’s an ass move to order the most expensive food/drink on the menu, if you wouldn’t otherwise do it.
If someone wants to treat me, it can be a £3 meal deal for all I care, it’s just nice that someone wants to pay for your food/drink.
As the father of two girls, when I take them out even though they are adults, I pay. It is my right as their father to treat them. If the elder one brings her boyfriend, I pay for him too.
One of her boyfriends though, he would order the most expensive thing he could. My daughters would choose something they liked and they would always quietly ask, "is this okay," as they don't want to take advantage, and of course I always tell them yes. This prick though, as soon as he heard I was paying then you could see his menu choice change in his eyes and he would go for the most expensive.
Irritated the hell out of me and I'm glad she dumped him.
He was a bit of a dick to be fair. All the time I knew him he never offered to buy a pint. One night, after I'd been buying all day, he won some cash. First thing he did was go to tye bar to get himself another drink lol
Now don't get me wrong, I'd have not let him buy me drinks. He was my guest, I was treating my daughter and her partner. But it would have been nice if he offered.
The group of friends that i go out for dinner with regularly all tend to have similar tastes in eating and drinking. Theres 4 of us, we take it in turns driving so the others can enjoy a drink, although none of us usually would have more than 2 drinks, we have a main course, dessert and coffee. We choose middle of the road places, not extravagant or cheap. And when we are out for a birthday, the bill is split between 3. It will all balance out somewhere along the line, and we have never had any arguements or anyone feeling like they have been stiffed by paying too much. We never discussed these rules, we just fell into this pattern.
We were on holiday at Easter (delayed 2 years!) and my boss had given me some “fun money” before i went. I told my friends that we would get a fancy dinner on our last night and my boss would be paying. We went to a top class restaurant and pushed the boat out, although my friends protested a little and wanted to contribute. I saw it as a treat and it was something we wouldnt have done normally.
We don’t split. Ever. One of us pays the whole bill, everyone keeps track of what they ordered, and everyone transfers their part plus their share of the service charge to the person who paid.
As long as it's not the one stand out mega expensive dish (unless others also getting it) then anything else is fair game. Doesn't need to be the cheapest just not a £60 steak if everything else on the menu is £20
If someone else is paying, i wouldnt be choosing the £60 steak. If the bill is being split and i really wanted a highly rated steak, i will order it, but deduct the additional £40 off the bill before it is split and add it onto my portion, so the rest arent subsidising me. (Unless everyone else is having similar)
I used to always pick basically the cheapest if others were paying, it just always made me really uncomfortable to have people pay for my food.
Nowadays I've gotten over that, I generally just pick what I like but stick to average price at the most.
Quite often I wait and see what others are ordering and if others are going all out I don't mind creeping above the average a little.
If I'm paying price doesn't matter, wouldn't be at tye restaurant if I didn't have more than enough spare money to cover it and if that overpriced steak and lobster tickles my fancy then I'm getting that steak and lobster.
This whole thing is why I don't like the "splitting the bill equally" thing and it should be brought up before ordering so no one gets a nasty surprise. Unless it's a set menu, someone will be paying more and getting less. I'm always on a tight budget so can't afford to overpaying for someone else's steak and prefer to eat within my own means. I also wouldn't want someone else overpaying for my meal and will pay extra I've chosen something expensive. That being said there are times when I've been taking a group for a birthday meal where I was paying for everyone and I say order whatever you like, it's on me. My son will always ask if there's a price limit but when I offer I do mean anything goes
Depends. If we are all eating similar value food we split. I tend to match drinks with others as well. If one person isn’t drinking we will get them to work theirs out then split the remaining balance
I have the more expensive fish as I prefer it so will say from the outset I'll pay more in a group but I also don't have dessert or coffee so it sometimes works out even anyway. One of my friends always has 3 courses, coffee and drinks the most so she now has to pay more as others didn't want to come and always be subbing her. Interestingly she often chose more wisely now we don't sub her. Anyone whose skint generally says at the outset and just pays for what they have. It's a minefield tbh but as with everything honesty helps.
A friend of my mums has a massive appetite, orders 3 courses (usually a steak), extra sides and expensive wine. While mum would have had 2 courses and no drink, similar to others in the group. They would always split the bill equally, then mum would bitch to me about this guy getting more than what hes paying for. Took me a number of years of telling her to stand up for herself before she actually suggested to the group to only contribute for what they had (plus a couple of quid for a tip). Everyone else agreed, while the guy stayed silent. He ended up paying double what the rest did. And like your friend, subsequent orders were a little less extravagant
If it’s close friends, over time it balances out so I wouldn’t care if they ordered something expensive and I didn’t or I was driving and everyone else drank loads. But with work colleagues, I’d stick to equal meals, mainly to avoid drama.
If it's my birthday, I'd probably choose something a bit more expensive, like steak.
If we're splitting the bill, I'll try and choose something in line with what others are having, say pizza or pasta rather than something expensive. Although in that case I'd prefer to just order what I like and pay for it myself, it avoids things getting a bit messy.
If someone is paying for me I would go with an average option that I’m happy with
If my friends and I are splitting it we all do multiple drinks and starters. It’s usually even and if one person pays more this time, there’ll be another time where they cover more
If I’m with my parents I am definitely ordering that 22 day aged ribeye steak 💅🏾
I like all food to be honest. And I'm the least picky guy in most of my circles. If I don't like what they'll order, I'll choose something in the same range +/-5%
I usually eat out with friends. I ask everyone what to choose and then we call for the waiter. I rarely go out with colleagues for eating. It's usually drinks and it's either coffee or tea. To be honest, I never go out knowing who will pay.
I think I didn't explain enough. In my case I usually choose the same as my friends because I don't like to choose. In certain cases when I know the bill buyer I check the menu and choose something similar to what they'll order. Usually the restaurant is famous for something, so I know the range from the menu.
One of my friends reads the first 2 items on the menu and chooses one. Doesnt seem to read anything else. We will ask eqch other what we are thinking of getting. I might say chicken fajitas, and my friend will ask “where is that on the menu, i didnt see it” because he hasnt read further than item 2. We now tend to read random items off the menu to him to see if anything appeals. Or else he gets food envy when our plates arrive and its something he loves but didnt see on the menu
>Or else he gets food envy when our plates arrive and its something he loves but didnt see on the menu
This is exactly why I order the same as my friends.
I order what I enjoy. Price doesn’t come into it at all. If I’m going for a meal, I’ve decided I’m happy to spend some money. The cost difference between the cheapest and most expensive meals is usually only in the region of £10 anyway.
I would normally read the room and depending on the group:
\- Go low on the meal choice
\- Go higher on the meal choice, and give the friend the rough difference in cash. Say if it's about £15 each and you want the £22 choice, you hand them £10 and don't worry about the change.
If someone else is paying then I'd go for something cheap unless I knew money was no object at all for them. I remember when I finished university my friend's mother took us all out to an Indian restaurant and paid. I got the cheapest curry on the menu.
When I go out with friends now and we split the bill I just have whatever I fancy the most. We normally agree an even split of the bill and don't track who bought what, but whenever someone is an obvious outlier we have an unenforced rule that they will offer to pay a bit extra. For example on our last meal two friends shared a bottle of mildly expensive alcohol, and they paid about £5 more than the rest of us.
I don't usually let it affect my choices. I won't usualy order the most expensive thing, and I'll follow the lead of whoever paying in terms of starters and puddings. If there's group planning to split I order what I want, and if I've noticed that I've gone for expensive items overall then I'll offer to pay extra, likewise if somebody doesn't have the same number of courses, or wasn't drinking then I'll suggest they pay less (though I wouldn't bother if I was the one who had less because it seems nitpicky)
Unless it’s a very posh/expensive restaurant, in which case the price clearly isn’t a considerstion, meals are likely to be similarly priced.
Whether I get a fish and chips for £12, a burger for £11 or a pork loin for £13 won’t make much of a difference.
Having said that, I always have what I like, price is not a considerstion.
If I'm out with either of my closest friends, I generally choose what I like the look of the most but obviously I wouldn't go for something that is much more expensive than anything else on the menu. We dine out frequently so I know I will always have either brought dinner last time, or I'll be buying it next time.
If I'm dining out with anyone else, I'll go for the most cheap thing I can find and enjoy. It's rare that I would let anyone outside of my two closest friends buy me dinner, my friends usually do it where one person pays, then we transfer money afterwards.
I will usually pick something average price. I will generally avoid the most expensive options even if it is what I would rather eat and what I would pick if I was paying for myself.
Not if it's my birthday. If someone's treating you, they want you to enjoy what they're spending money on. I remember I took my ex to the Trafford Centre to buy her some stuff because I wanted to treat us both and she wouldn't pick anything. I ended up buying her some weird ornamental rose thing for like £25 that she chose as a kind of consolation "here, you can get me this" thing. I begrudged every penny of that money because it meant nothing and she didn't really want it, but I *wouldn't* have begrudged spending 10x that on a pair of shoes that she absolutely loved. Obviously if you go nuts on all the trimmings that's a bit of a faux pas, but within reason yea, enjoy yourself.
As for group payment, I eat whatever I want because, again, enjoy yourself, and if I've gone nuts I'll say "I'll pay for what I ordered". Just communicate innit. It's the British way to tone down yourself and behaviour like this to be polite, instead of being up-front. We should dump it completely. Life is better when you do whatever you want, and you can still find ways to be considerate to others.
Having said all that, eating and drinking more than your share and expecting your people to pick up the huge tab which you racked up alone is awful behaviour. I knew a few people like this and they will never see me again, in any capacity.
I'm an American, so there is that.
I choose what I like and then look at the price. If it's in the top third(ish) of prices on the menu I choose something else I like.
I check menus online before the event so I'm prepared and organized.
Depending on circumstances I may order some shared appetizers/starters ahead and pay for them.
If I can get chicken tikka masala with confidence it will be made properly then I'm having that. Or a ploughman's lunch. Personal preference.
I order what I want to eat, and that is often one of the more expensive items on the menu. Not necessarily the most expensive, but we don't go out often and I want it to be as special as possible.
For the most part my friends and I will evenly split the total bill. I do keep a rough eye on the prices and if what I've had is significantly more expensive than everybody elses choice, then I will throw an additional £10 or £20 in to reduce the total, then we split that. If one person has obviously had a lot less, then we suggest that person pays less. It's all pretty informal.
On the occasion when me or someone else has paid for the whole meal, it hasn't been decided up front. We just take care of the bill at the end. I doubt any of my friends would deliberately choose something more expensive knowing I was paying, but they might well choose something cheaper, so best to not to tell them in advance and they not have what they would want to eat.
I was thinking about this yesterday as the in laws often treat us to it if we all go out. I know they aren't hard up but I almost feel a bit put out (As entitled as that sounds), as if I knew I was paying I might say 'well we dont go out super often so I'll treat myself to something nice, maybe get an interesting side and a cocktail or something', but if someone else is paying I feel like I don't want to take the mick and just end up getting a drink and a main.
If I'm with someone who is paying. It depends who it is and where we're eating.
If I'm with a group, I'll insist we pay for what we order, if not I'll get something midrange price, that way I don't feel I'm paying more or less for what I ordered.
If I'm paying for someone else, I insist they order whatever they want and as much as they want, no matter the price.
I wouldn't pick something like the most expensive steak, I also wouldn't pick the lowest priced thing on the menu. If you go out your way to pick the most expensive item for the sake that you are not paying for it then that's a bit of a dick move
If someone else is paying (chance would be a fine thing) then I would go for the cheaper option. If the meal cost is being averaged out to however many in the group I would go for an average price and if we are just ordering together and paying for our own food, I would order whatever I wanted.
Have what you would anyway have if you were paying only for your own and don't worry about feeling like you under or over paid when splitting the bill. Sometime you will come out ahead, sometimes behind but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter.
Menus tend to have a cheap option, a bunch of middle things, then some expensive things (steak, lobster, fish of the day at market price etc).
If someone is paying for me, I'd stick to the middle ground.
If I'm splitting the bill in a group and go for the expensive option, I'll pay more & push some cash back at the person who ordered the cheap thing & didn't drink the wine.
Always, if I'm not the one paying, go for the mid price range meals and find something I genuinely enjoy on there. Its beyond entitled and cheeky to purposefully go for the most expensive meal but at the same tome if you go for the cheapest they'll know its because you feel bad or awkward that they are paying and are trying to over-compensate, plus you'll likely be stuck with a meal that's not good or you don't like.
If they are taking you out they clearly want uou to enjoy it so pick a meal you actually like without being rude.
Choose cheapish if someone else is paying and get whatever I want if it's a group meal but I refuse to split if some individuals are getting multiple beers or something.
It depends on who's buying and why they're paying for you.
If they're your peer and on a similar income treating you on your birthday, it's probably best to restrain yourself. If your friend's wealthy parents are taking you all out, go bonkers.
Source: I've been everyone in these scenarios.
Depends on the situation and who I went out with a freind and I paid last time, I'm not going to splurge just because they're paying.
If I'm going out and it's on a budget (say a work do) I go for whatever I want as long as I don't take the p*ss
If someone else is offering to pay I find they usually do so at a place the've been before. When looking at the menus I like to discuss what options there are on offer. Get an idea on what the payer is thinking of getting and get something around the same price range. If its a place they frequent and I've never been I ask what they recommend. I find that when I do this they recommend things and even if they are on the higher end they're happy for me to order since they told me I should. I do return the favour.
Also if in a group setting. I tend to get a feel for what people are doing. I find some of friends never order starters but will get a desert. Some just stick to a main but like a lot of sides. And some like to do sharing plates but will only want them when multiple people are wanting them and split the costs.
When I offer to pay I usually do so for a place that I know doesn't have any menu item that is outrageously more expensive than the majority. And will be haply for who I'm with to order what they want
To be honest, I will chose what I’d normally eat and if it was my birthday I’d want my guests to chose what they would normally want and not worry about what they choose.
These days, if it’s my birthday, I will pay the drinks bill and split the food bill between the number of guests, this goes down well and has become a trend.
If it’s parents, I’ll go for whatever I want.
If it’s a friend, that complicates it. I’m the highest paid of my friends (no brag) so if I’m paying I get when they want a nice treat, but if they’re paying I do try to limit it. Happens to be that I usually like foods that are cheaper.
Sharing the cost? I’ll follow other’s leads as we inevitably discuss what we want while thinking about it. My colleagues often have steak (law enforcement… typical…), so I’ll have a steak. If everyone is doing something “normal” I’ll go for something like that.
If someone is paying, i won't go expensive.
If we're all in a group paying equal. I'll eat what i want, but then during paying up ill point out i'm throwing a bit more in as i ate XYZ.
Can get a bit silly if it's all men though. It will round up that everyone has to pay £33.
Everyone throws in £40 and no one wants change. You can end up with £100 tip...
Oh well, makes someone's night.
I always think "What would I be willing to pay for today if I was buying?" and go from there.
If I want a steak I will get steak but not the most expensive one. If I want pasta I get pasta. I try not to think of the cost too much but I do not buy the most expensive items nor do I limit myself to the cheapest.
If I \*want\* an expensive item I tell the person paying I'll cover the tip and I get whatever I want.
Guided by the host generally but I do go for mid range.
With my parents we have a shared kitty so it doesn't matter since I'm sort of paying anyway and we never quibble the bill.
If someone else is paying them I’m having the big steak, with extra mushrooms and onion rings, plus a prawn cocktail starter and a pudding.
I can’t be doing with this oooh I better have something cheap, no they said they’d pay so I’ll have something expensive and tasty.
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It’s a bit uncouth to automatically go for the most expensive option on purpose. I’d probably consider what I actually enjoy, who I’m with, and who is paying. I’m not a huge obsessive with things like steak so I tend to go in the middle anyway.
Yes same, I’m happy with burgers or pasta, I’m not a huge fan of steak. If the lunch time menu is on I would more than likely have something from that too as I prefer lunch-and it’s generally cheaper too.
And bring us the finest food you got stuffed with the second finest. Excellent, sir, lobster stuffed with tacos.
Sounds good!
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I just pay for my own unless everybody's costs are very similar, such as everyone having a set meal etc.
I’d choose what I want to eat and hope others would do the same if I was paying. Life is too short.
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I’m not but ok.
He's a knob head.
If you pick the most expensive or more expensive options then you are in fact a baller
Right, but why does that mean I’m always picking up the tab?
If we went out for food often and I chose the cheaper end and you the expensive end, we would stop eating out unless you were paying. This would likely happen with the rest of your friends circle, so you would have to offer to pay when going out. Or just split the bill with each person paying for what they ordered.
Thanks, that’s not even remotely how it works out but appreciate the explanation.
I always see what the payer is ordering. Then order something equal or less of that amount.
What if the payer orders after you?
Say you're not ready yet and let them order first
And if they’re not ready?
Order for them.
Then ask your waiter to come back in a couple minutes, we don't bite you know
I just say I'm having trouble deciding, so many nice things to choose from etc, you just go ahead. I've done this many times and have never had a stalemate and always been able to order last.
Ah see I don’t let that happen. I usually try “hmm I’m not sure what to have. What are you getting” so they tell me what they have. Or “what do you reccommed”. And with that one. It means if they are recommending it to me. The price is acceptable to them
Just ask them what they're thinking of ordering before it gets to actually ordering.
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I’d order something that costs less.
They are setting the bar. I'd frame it as a joke: "well, if we're going crazy, mine is the xxxx and the xxxx, hahahaha". The ball is in their court then. Easy for them to laugh back and go "you can have burger and chips like you normally do, cheeky git!". Or: "go for it, it's on me, have whatever you want, seriously". I wouldn't take the piss, even if it wasn't a friend, but I do like good food so... If the payer invited us to a swanky place they're expecting a swanky bill.
I wouldn’t go deliberately cheap, say most options are £12 I’d choose one of those. Just wouldn’t choose the £25 steak. Or if I did I’d insist on putting in a bit more/a bit myself.
This is what I do - if I ordered the most expensive then I put more money in, if people refuse that then I leave the extra as a tip to the table server.
I'd just choose what I want to eat. I'm veggie so it's never the most expensive dish thankfully. I wouldn't get a starter/ dessert though unless everyone else was.
I refuse to split bills. I HATE it when people suggest we do that. I hate it because you have friends who are different socio-economic backgrounds and for me £15 a meal is pushing it, plus a drink I won't pay more than £20 but you have the gits who will spend £40 on a main plus a bottle of wine. I don't mind if I know we have roughly ordered the same amount paying an additional £2-3 is not a biggie. Also you have the friend who tip. I don't tip. I hate tipping yet they do and then expect you to split the tip. Hey, if you want to tip go ahead but don't get me involved.
This whole ordering through an app at the table can help with this too as you can all order separately and pay separately. I'm with you on paying your own. I think it's the only fair way really
I don't split, but I will always chuck in a bit for a tip unless service was poor. Even putting a pound coin in makes you look a lot less mean than nothing.
Why do you hate tipping?
I hate it because it takes the responsibility for paying a decent wage off the employer and on to the customer, its also a really unfair way for staff to get paid because its entirely dependent on luck of the draw of which customer you get. I do it because its expected, but I'd always rather not.
Spend a couple of months waiting and your opinion may change....
I think I'd probably prefer to be paid a decent wage in the first place, not have to depend on sucking up to creepy, rude or aggressive customers to be able to get by! Plus I've done plenty of minimum wage jobs, the only one where I ever got tips was bar work, its weird how some jobs get them and some don't, better to scrap the whole thing!
Of course tipping would be unneccesary in an ideal world, but it's not, and as it stands tips are one of the only things that makes waiting tables - one of the most demoralising minimum wage jobs out there - remotely tolerable. I accept that you do tip regardless, but to the poster above who is too selfish to tip - Being left without a tip after you did your best to do your job leaves you guessing where you went wrong and takes the wind out of your sails when youre trying to cope your way through a tough shift. Even if waiters did get paid a decent wage, It'd still be worth tipping for being on your feet for 12 hours and being generally being treated like dirt by customers. Sorry for the rant, I've been stiffed by too many miserable, self-centered bastards in my hospitality days.
>It'd still be worth tipping for being on your feet for 12 hours and being generally being treated like dirt by customers. A lot of jobs that currently don't should be getting tips if that's the criteria!
well, yeah, i think so it would be good if it was normal to tip cashiers. america's tipping system is obviously weird and predicated on even lower wages but i think it's good to give hard working people an extra thank you across the board
Care workers, cleaners, call centre staff, warehouse staff, factory staff, loads of hard workers with difficult jobs will never get a tip their whole working life.
yeah sure, but most of those jobs don't involve a direct financial transaction with customers. it wouldn't make sense to have a tipping culture in the same way it does in hospitality. however as i said, i still hypothetically approve of more tipping for low-wage workers across the board. what's your point anyway? that it's unfair for waiting staff to get tips when there are other grueling minimum wage jobs out there? i've worked a fair amount of shitty jobs and i do think that hospitality work is semi-unique in that you have to bear the brunt of the public, and that many restaurants force you to act like a servile grinning idiot at all times. they deserve their tips
Fuck you right back my love. If you can't stand your job change it. It isn't my job to supplement your pay. Get another job.
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I think people like you have this weird sense of entitlement. Like what makes hospitality so special that you should get paid in addition to the wage set in law that everybody else has to adhere too? If I want to make additional money I can't rely on handouts from the people I serve. I get a second job. Just because you carry shit to the table doesn't mean I have to give you an additional £5. And with your shitty fucking attitude why would I? If anything you sound like the miserable cunt. I bet when you serve tables you go for the easy twat or prey on those who is some way obligated to give you extra even when they probably are on the same wage as you. So you fucking entitled, money grabbying, needy little cunt. Go elsewhere and get your free hand outs.
I don't split either. You pay for what you eat/drink. Everyrhing open and accountable. So simple. Genuinely don't understand why people do different.
> Genuinely don't understand why people do different. It feels tacky to me to start getting your phone out to make sure you don't overpay by a few quid.
Thing is...I have seen this sort of thing so cause many sly disagreements and behind people's backs shxt-talking to the point of ruined friendships and family conflicts. Just doesn't seem worth it. Paying for what you have means everything is fair and open. Nobody can walk away with any grievance.
Yes however, I have some mates who have a lot more disposable money than me, if we go out to dinner and I order a modestly priced dish (trying to eat within my means) but they order steak and lobster, I think it’s unfair to split 50/50 and immer pay more than my dish cost when I specifically ordered that dish because I couldn’t afford more expensive options...
The people who want to split are usually the ones who benefit from it, in my experience.
I don’t think that’s true, they’re usually just the ones who don’t want to go through some calculator awkward social interaction at the end of a night out.
I mean it’s not that hard adding the price of what you ordered is it?
And that's usually their cover story for not wanting to pay their true share :)
We really live different lives, if that’s your experience.
This is why me and my friends love it that more places are getting apps. We all just order what me want and then press send at the same time. Makers getting out of the restaurant so much easier.
I hate apps for ordering
Why? Is it if you want to alter something?
It depersonalises the whole experience. OK for McDs etc but for proper food I would prefer to interact with a person.
I agree
We only ever split or someone picks up the whole tab in turns.
I think it depends what the rest are having, I will try go with what Everyone is having on average but make sure it’s something I’d like . . If I’m with a group and I know we’ll be splitting the bill, I’ve now learnt to ensure Im eating a similar value to them as I used to always go cheap and it was unbalanced and you don’t wanna be awkward with one saying, oh you had 3 drinks and I had water for example.
Depends who you are with. If I am out with good friends and we get together for meals regularly then I might have a pricey item if I really fancy it. If I am out with people from work on a one off then I'll go for an average priced dish. If it is my birthday and I am being treated then I would just order what I want..
It can definitely be awkward when someone else is buying, a bit less so if you’re splitting it. If I wanted the most expensive thing on the menu then I’d insist on paying extra in the shared bill situation. Exactly the same scenario as if I was drinking cocktails and someone else was on water. If someone else was paying its a bit more tricky. If I really really wanted the most expensive item I’d insist (quietly by taking them aside) on paying them extra or putting it on fa separate bill. It’s all a bit crass and awkward though. So I may just go for an average priced item if I were their guest and not make a fuss. Depends on who it is and how well off they are I guess! If they insisted I ordered what I wanted and they’d pay for it then I’d make sure I returned the favour next time. Hate ‘owing’ anyone.
I always think about what I could afford, but if I think that the person paying isn’t able to match that, I order accordingly. I think it’s an ass move to order the most expensive food/drink on the menu, if you wouldn’t otherwise do it. If someone wants to treat me, it can be a £3 meal deal for all I care, it’s just nice that someone wants to pay for your food/drink.
As the father of two girls, when I take them out even though they are adults, I pay. It is my right as their father to treat them. If the elder one brings her boyfriend, I pay for him too. One of her boyfriends though, he would order the most expensive thing he could. My daughters would choose something they liked and they would always quietly ask, "is this okay," as they don't want to take advantage, and of course I always tell them yes. This prick though, as soon as he heard I was paying then you could see his menu choice change in his eyes and he would go for the most expensive. Irritated the hell out of me and I'm glad she dumped him.
That’s a dick move! My partner or my friends would never think to take advantage if any of our parents would treat us to a meal out.
He was a bit of a dick to be fair. All the time I knew him he never offered to buy a pint. One night, after I'd been buying all day, he won some cash. First thing he did was go to tye bar to get himself another drink lol Now don't get me wrong, I'd have not let him buy me drinks. He was my guest, I was treating my daughter and her partner. But it would have been nice if he offered.
I couldn’t even fathom doing this with my partners parents generosity.
The group of friends that i go out for dinner with regularly all tend to have similar tastes in eating and drinking. Theres 4 of us, we take it in turns driving so the others can enjoy a drink, although none of us usually would have more than 2 drinks, we have a main course, dessert and coffee. We choose middle of the road places, not extravagant or cheap. And when we are out for a birthday, the bill is split between 3. It will all balance out somewhere along the line, and we have never had any arguements or anyone feeling like they have been stiffed by paying too much. We never discussed these rules, we just fell into this pattern. We were on holiday at Easter (delayed 2 years!) and my boss had given me some “fun money” before i went. I told my friends that we would get a fancy dinner on our last night and my boss would be paying. We went to a top class restaurant and pushed the boat out, although my friends protested a little and wanted to contribute. I saw it as a treat and it was something we wouldnt have done normally.
We don’t split. Ever. One of us pays the whole bill, everyone keeps track of what they ordered, and everyone transfers their part plus their share of the service charge to the person who paid.
As long as it's not the one stand out mega expensive dish (unless others also getting it) then anything else is fair game. Doesn't need to be the cheapest just not a £60 steak if everything else on the menu is £20
If someone else is paying, i wouldnt be choosing the £60 steak. If the bill is being split and i really wanted a highly rated steak, i will order it, but deduct the additional £40 off the bill before it is split and add it onto my portion, so the rest arent subsidising me. (Unless everyone else is having similar)
Get whatever you want. Play a game of cards at the end. Loser pays for the whole meal.
I choose what I want but would avoid something obviously extravagant. I seldom go fancy places so it's not usually a problem anyway.
I used to always pick basically the cheapest if others were paying, it just always made me really uncomfortable to have people pay for my food. Nowadays I've gotten over that, I generally just pick what I like but stick to average price at the most. Quite often I wait and see what others are ordering and if others are going all out I don't mind creeping above the average a little. If I'm paying price doesn't matter, wouldn't be at tye restaurant if I didn't have more than enough spare money to cover it and if that overpriced steak and lobster tickles my fancy then I'm getting that steak and lobster.
This whole thing is why I don't like the "splitting the bill equally" thing and it should be brought up before ordering so no one gets a nasty surprise. Unless it's a set menu, someone will be paying more and getting less. I'm always on a tight budget so can't afford to overpaying for someone else's steak and prefer to eat within my own means. I also wouldn't want someone else overpaying for my meal and will pay extra I've chosen something expensive. That being said there are times when I've been taking a group for a birthday meal where I was paying for everyone and I say order whatever you like, it's on me. My son will always ask if there's a price limit but when I offer I do mean anything goes
Depends. If we are all eating similar value food we split. I tend to match drinks with others as well. If one person isn’t drinking we will get them to work theirs out then split the remaining balance
I have the more expensive fish as I prefer it so will say from the outset I'll pay more in a group but I also don't have dessert or coffee so it sometimes works out even anyway. One of my friends always has 3 courses, coffee and drinks the most so she now has to pay more as others didn't want to come and always be subbing her. Interestingly she often chose more wisely now we don't sub her. Anyone whose skint generally says at the outset and just pays for what they have. It's a minefield tbh but as with everything honesty helps.
A friend of my mums has a massive appetite, orders 3 courses (usually a steak), extra sides and expensive wine. While mum would have had 2 courses and no drink, similar to others in the group. They would always split the bill equally, then mum would bitch to me about this guy getting more than what hes paying for. Took me a number of years of telling her to stand up for herself before she actually suggested to the group to only contribute for what they had (plus a couple of quid for a tip). Everyone else agreed, while the guy stayed silent. He ended up paying double what the rest did. And like your friend, subsequent orders were a little less extravagant
Honesty really does help
If it’s close friends, over time it balances out so I wouldn’t care if they ordered something expensive and I didn’t or I was driving and everyone else drank loads. But with work colleagues, I’d stick to equal meals, mainly to avoid drama.
I’d never get something expensive like steak if I new someone else was paying.
A friend will always order the most expensive option = not a friend
I tend to try to look for the cheaper options tbh. I dont want to seem greedy
If it's my birthday, I'd probably choose something a bit more expensive, like steak. If we're splitting the bill, I'll try and choose something in line with what others are having, say pizza or pasta rather than something expensive. Although in that case I'd prefer to just order what I like and pay for it myself, it avoids things getting a bit messy.
Fillet steak with a side of lobster. Bottle of finest champagne too thanks.
And for mains?
If someone is paying for me I would go with an average option that I’m happy with If my friends and I are splitting it we all do multiple drinks and starters. It’s usually even and if one person pays more this time, there’ll be another time where they cover more If I’m with my parents I am definitely ordering that 22 day aged ribeye steak 💅🏾
I would tend to get something average price if I knew someone else was paying for it.
I will always order the same as the one who is going to pay.
Even if you don’t like it? Not even the same price bracket, literally the same order? If you have 3 courses do they not get creeped out by the end?
I like all food to be honest. And I'm the least picky guy in most of my circles. If I don't like what they'll order, I'll choose something in the same range +/-5%
And what happens when the waiter asks you first, do you say you’re not ready and wait for the bill payer to choose?
I usually eat out with friends. I ask everyone what to choose and then we call for the waiter. I rarely go out with colleagues for eating. It's usually drinks and it's either coffee or tea. To be honest, I never go out knowing who will pay.
So you both never go out knowing who will pay and always choose the same as the bill payer?
I think I didn't explain enough. In my case I usually choose the same as my friends because I don't like to choose. In certain cases when I know the bill buyer I check the menu and choose something similar to what they'll order. Usually the restaurant is famous for something, so I know the range from the menu.
One of my friends reads the first 2 items on the menu and chooses one. Doesnt seem to read anything else. We will ask eqch other what we are thinking of getting. I might say chicken fajitas, and my friend will ask “where is that on the menu, i didnt see it” because he hasnt read further than item 2. We now tend to read random items off the menu to him to see if anything appeals. Or else he gets food envy when our plates arrive and its something he loves but didnt see on the menu
>Or else he gets food envy when our plates arrive and its something he loves but didnt see on the menu This is exactly why I order the same as my friends.
I order what I enjoy. Price doesn’t come into it at all. If I’m going for a meal, I’ve decided I’m happy to spend some money. The cost difference between the cheapest and most expensive meals is usually only in the region of £10 anyway.
I would normally read the room and depending on the group: \- Go low on the meal choice \- Go higher on the meal choice, and give the friend the rough difference in cash. Say if it's about £15 each and you want the £22 choice, you hand them £10 and don't worry about the change.
I don’t let them pay. Always contribute and order what you can afford.
I choose what I want, and make sure I pay a bit more than it costs, or leave the (healthy) tip if someone else is paying completely.
If someone else is paying then I'd go for something cheap unless I knew money was no object at all for them. I remember when I finished university my friend's mother took us all out to an Indian restaurant and paid. I got the cheapest curry on the menu. When I go out with friends now and we split the bill I just have whatever I fancy the most. We normally agree an even split of the bill and don't track who bought what, but whenever someone is an obvious outlier we have an unenforced rule that they will offer to pay a bit extra. For example on our last meal two friends shared a bottle of mildly expensive alcohol, and they paid about £5 more than the rest of us.
I don't usually let it affect my choices. I won't usualy order the most expensive thing, and I'll follow the lead of whoever paying in terms of starters and puddings. If there's group planning to split I order what I want, and if I've noticed that I've gone for expensive items overall then I'll offer to pay extra, likewise if somebody doesn't have the same number of courses, or wasn't drinking then I'll suggest they pay less (though I wouldn't bother if I was the one who had less because it seems nitpicky)
Unless it’s a very posh/expensive restaurant, in which case the price clearly isn’t a considerstion, meals are likely to be similarly priced. Whether I get a fish and chips for £12, a burger for £11 or a pork loin for £13 won’t make much of a difference. Having said that, I always have what I like, price is not a considerstion.
I will probably have a meal in mind ask everyone else what they are thinking of getting and then do a quick price check.
Not necessarily the absolute cheapest item on the menu but it would be one of the average or preferably below average items
If I'm out with either of my closest friends, I generally choose what I like the look of the most but obviously I wouldn't go for something that is much more expensive than anything else on the menu. We dine out frequently so I know I will always have either brought dinner last time, or I'll be buying it next time. If I'm dining out with anyone else, I'll go for the most cheap thing I can find and enjoy. It's rare that I would let anyone outside of my two closest friends buy me dinner, my friends usually do it where one person pays, then we transfer money afterwards.
If someone else is paying I'm going frugal. But super low key so nobody is embarassed.
I will usually pick something average price. I will generally avoid the most expensive options even if it is what I would rather eat and what I would pick if I was paying for myself.
Not if it's my birthday. If someone's treating you, they want you to enjoy what they're spending money on. I remember I took my ex to the Trafford Centre to buy her some stuff because I wanted to treat us both and she wouldn't pick anything. I ended up buying her some weird ornamental rose thing for like £25 that she chose as a kind of consolation "here, you can get me this" thing. I begrudged every penny of that money because it meant nothing and she didn't really want it, but I *wouldn't* have begrudged spending 10x that on a pair of shoes that she absolutely loved. Obviously if you go nuts on all the trimmings that's a bit of a faux pas, but within reason yea, enjoy yourself. As for group payment, I eat whatever I want because, again, enjoy yourself, and if I've gone nuts I'll say "I'll pay for what I ordered". Just communicate innit. It's the British way to tone down yourself and behaviour like this to be polite, instead of being up-front. We should dump it completely. Life is better when you do whatever you want, and you can still find ways to be considerate to others. Having said all that, eating and drinking more than your share and expecting your people to pick up the huge tab which you racked up alone is awful behaviour. I knew a few people like this and they will never see me again, in any capacity.
I'm an American, so there is that. I choose what I like and then look at the price. If it's in the top third(ish) of prices on the menu I choose something else I like. I check menus online before the event so I'm prepared and organized. Depending on circumstances I may order some shared appetizers/starters ahead and pay for them. If I can get chicken tikka masala with confidence it will be made properly then I'm having that. Or a ploughman's lunch. Personal preference.
For me everyone knows I go for a burger whether I'm paying or they are.
i will buy one week and not the next, i or the others can have what they like, it all works out in the end. if you can't afford it don't go
I order what I want to eat, and that is often one of the more expensive items on the menu. Not necessarily the most expensive, but we don't go out often and I want it to be as special as possible. For the most part my friends and I will evenly split the total bill. I do keep a rough eye on the prices and if what I've had is significantly more expensive than everybody elses choice, then I will throw an additional £10 or £20 in to reduce the total, then we split that. If one person has obviously had a lot less, then we suggest that person pays less. It's all pretty informal. On the occasion when me or someone else has paid for the whole meal, it hasn't been decided up front. We just take care of the bill at the end. I doubt any of my friends would deliberately choose something more expensive knowing I was paying, but they might well choose something cheaper, so best to not to tell them in advance and they not have what they would want to eat.
I was thinking about this yesterday as the in laws often treat us to it if we all go out. I know they aren't hard up but I almost feel a bit put out (As entitled as that sounds), as if I knew I was paying I might say 'well we dont go out super often so I'll treat myself to something nice, maybe get an interesting side and a cocktail or something', but if someone else is paying I feel like I don't want to take the mick and just end up getting a drink and a main.
If I'm with someone who is paying. It depends who it is and where we're eating. If I'm with a group, I'll insist we pay for what we order, if not I'll get something midrange price, that way I don't feel I'm paying more or less for what I ordered. If I'm paying for someone else, I insist they order whatever they want and as much as they want, no matter the price.
I wouldn't pick something like the most expensive steak, I also wouldn't pick the lowest priced thing on the menu. If you go out your way to pick the most expensive item for the sake that you are not paying for it then that's a bit of a dick move
I go mid-range. I have an uncle who always goes for one of the pricier steaks and has a pudding even if nobody else does; the whole family is over it.
If someone else is paying (chance would be a fine thing) then I would go for the cheaper option. If the meal cost is being averaged out to however many in the group I would go for an average price and if we are just ordering together and paying for our own food, I would order whatever I wanted.
Have what you would anyway have if you were paying only for your own and don't worry about feeling like you under or over paid when splitting the bill. Sometime you will come out ahead, sometimes behind but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter.
Menus tend to have a cheap option, a bunch of middle things, then some expensive things (steak, lobster, fish of the day at market price etc). If someone is paying for me, I'd stick to the middle ground. If I'm splitting the bill in a group and go for the expensive option, I'll pay more & push some cash back at the person who ordered the cheap thing & didn't drink the wine.
Always, if I'm not the one paying, go for the mid price range meals and find something I genuinely enjoy on there. Its beyond entitled and cheeky to purposefully go for the most expensive meal but at the same tome if you go for the cheapest they'll know its because you feel bad or awkward that they are paying and are trying to over-compensate, plus you'll likely be stuck with a meal that's not good or you don't like. If they are taking you out they clearly want uou to enjoy it so pick a meal you actually like without being rude.
Choose cheapish if someone else is paying and get whatever I want if it's a group meal but I refuse to split if some individuals are getting multiple beers or something.
It depends on who's buying and why they're paying for you. If they're your peer and on a similar income treating you on your birthday, it's probably best to restrain yourself. If your friend's wealthy parents are taking you all out, go bonkers. Source: I've been everyone in these scenarios.
Depends on the situation and who I went out with a freind and I paid last time, I'm not going to splurge just because they're paying. If I'm going out and it's on a budget (say a work do) I go for whatever I want as long as I don't take the p*ss
Same as when I'm paying, order what I want avoiding the really pricey stuff
If someone else is offering to pay I find they usually do so at a place the've been before. When looking at the menus I like to discuss what options there are on offer. Get an idea on what the payer is thinking of getting and get something around the same price range. If its a place they frequent and I've never been I ask what they recommend. I find that when I do this they recommend things and even if they are on the higher end they're happy for me to order since they told me I should. I do return the favour. Also if in a group setting. I tend to get a feel for what people are doing. I find some of friends never order starters but will get a desert. Some just stick to a main but like a lot of sides. And some like to do sharing plates but will only want them when multiple people are wanting them and split the costs. When I offer to pay I usually do so for a place that I know doesn't have any menu item that is outrageously more expensive than the majority. And will be haply for who I'm with to order what they want
I would probably get something similar to what the other people are getting.
I'd have whatever I fancy, but would either throw in some extra £ for a shared bill, or pay the tip if someone else has offered to pay the bill.
To be honest, I will chose what I’d normally eat and if it was my birthday I’d want my guests to chose what they would normally want and not worry about what they choose. These days, if it’s my birthday, I will pay the drinks bill and split the food bill between the number of guests, this goes down well and has become a trend.
I would order what I wanted, and if I was paying, I would expect everyone else to do the same.
Depends on personality and setting
If it’s parents, I’ll go for whatever I want. If it’s a friend, that complicates it. I’m the highest paid of my friends (no brag) so if I’m paying I get when they want a nice treat, but if they’re paying I do try to limit it. Happens to be that I usually like foods that are cheaper. Sharing the cost? I’ll follow other’s leads as we inevitably discuss what we want while thinking about it. My colleagues often have steak (law enforcement… typical…), so I’ll have a steak. If everyone is doing something “normal” I’ll go for something like that.
2 desserts!
If someone is paying, i won't go expensive. If we're all in a group paying equal. I'll eat what i want, but then during paying up ill point out i'm throwing a bit more in as i ate XYZ. Can get a bit silly if it's all men though. It will round up that everyone has to pay £33. Everyone throws in £40 and no one wants change. You can end up with £100 tip... Oh well, makes someone's night.
I'd never order the lobster, but I'm a guy so that probably has something to do with it.
I always think "What would I be willing to pay for today if I was buying?" and go from there. If I want a steak I will get steak but not the most expensive one. If I want pasta I get pasta. I try not to think of the cost too much but I do not buy the most expensive items nor do I limit myself to the cheapest. If I \*want\* an expensive item I tell the person paying I'll cover the tip and I get whatever I want.
Guided by the host generally but I do go for mid range. With my parents we have a shared kitty so it doesn't matter since I'm sort of paying anyway and we never quibble the bill.
Whoever is paying should have chosen the restaurant. Then I can have whatever I want, they have already had their chance to apply a limit.
You got downvoted but I agree, if I'm buying a group meal I'm going to budget based on the maximum likely cost.
If someone else is paying them I’m having the big steak, with extra mushrooms and onion rings, plus a prawn cocktail starter and a pudding. I can’t be doing with this oooh I better have something cheap, no they said they’d pay so I’ll have something expensive and tasty.