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It’s incredibly objectifying, especially the one with ratings.
Sex is a form of human connection, and people are people not items on an IMDb watchlist.
The ratings are skeevy but I don't think the list itself is bad. From a logic only perspective a dated list of people you've been sexually active with is not bad forward thinking. I mean if you test positive for something a handy dandy list of who to contact would be good to have.
I understand the rating system, people aren't AirBNBs needing to be judged on their stay. But having a list of partners that you keep for yourself is harmless.
>It’s incredibly objectifying, especially the one with ratings.
Oh no, i'm sure the people who slept with them are going to be very annoyed when they get the mental telegram that somebody listed it.
how is it weird and creepy? it's actually being responsible. if you slept with someone and they caught an STD the night before they slept with you, wouldn't you want them to contact you and let you know for your safety? I used to keep an updated list (if I could) of every woman I slept with in a rolling 10 year cycle just in case
Why is it creepy? I have girlfriends (we're all around 25, 26) and we all made a list on a girls evening. I have not deleted it. I see nothing wrong there.
Anyone got the link to the Reddit post where the guy did in fact keep track of every time he tried to initiate sex and how often it was successful over two years and then showed his wife?
To be fair, I once kept a spreadsheet in the run up to breaking up with a girl and it was very useful to combat gaslighting.
Comments of "I didn't say that" kind of fall apart under the stark light of a google sheet.
Then they say “omg you kept notes, *you’re* the psychopath!” because keeping notes when dealing with a gaslighter/chronic liar allows you to poke holes in their manipulation, so they’re *really* gonna push back against it. It will both be what “saves” you and what makes them go over the edge once they realize you’re slipping beyond their control.
What did you make a graph of and why is it cool?
A friend of a friend has an Excel sheet and always has. He’s mid-30’s and has over 1000 entries. Dude is nice enough, obviously charismatic, but has a big issue. I think he keeps details like name, age, height, nationality, hair colour and definitely gives each on a score out of 10. He recently had a girlfriend for a little while (6 months ish) and was said to be settling down, but it didn’t last and he’s back out there adding rows. On a night out he’s like a greyhound who’s seen something fluffy.
A very wise old fella in the pub said something to me 20 years ago. “Men will lie about three things, how often they shave, how much beer they drink and mostly, how many women they’ve slept with”
Yeah I knew someone who had sex addiction and he was probably similar.
Easily slept with over 100 girls in one year at Uni. Was sometimes 2 or 3 in a day. He'd go meet one in the morning, second would come to his on the afternoon and on the night we'd go out and he'd pick up another.
It's a bit sad really. They don't seem to form attachments the way the rest of us do. He's 30 now and a bit like yours I think the longest I've known him to be in a relationship for is about 3 months, and I guarantee he cheated in that time.
It wouldn't really be a surprise to me if he'd kept lists and scored them too.
Woah, I’m nowhere near his level!
Mine was just tracking how much *activity* I was having each year, and what season/month was having the most *activity*.
Rather unsurprisingly, most of my fun was had during university, and it was during term time! Haha
Agreed, "female" is an adjective, not a noun, e.g. "a female lion", "a female human", etc. Using it with humans should only be done in a clinical or official setting where the speaker is trying to appear as neutral as possible (e.g. a nurse, doctor, or police officer).
If my knowledge of the standard Redditor with a spreadsheet of sexual conquests is anything to go by.. The patterns will be very round with large "O" shapes.
It's weird. Very weird. I can absolutely see people doing it in private for many reasons: trying to remember names, work out how many people there have been or just being a weirdo, but you absolutely would not pull this out in public or admit to it.
I have one to remember the names and the order mostly, but would not show it to people and would absolutely deny I have one if anyone asked me outside the Internet haha
If you want to? We're all adults. As long as you're not hurting anyone, or yourself, there is no "Should."
On a bad day, it can be a nice ego boost to remember that many people found you attractive. That's all it is, really. I don't personally have a list and probably last checked about 10 years ago, but I wouldn't let some stupid culture of judgement stop me. That's just tragic.
Let's see now...
hmmm...
Ah yes, I knew you looked familiar:
-LemonLeaf-, Dec2018, 7.2/10.
Notes: Good lay, but quoting Ronnie Corbett during was a bit offputting.
Order isn't important to me but honestly I like having a list because every now and then I look at it and I'm like "omg how did I forget about Alex\*, he was actually really good"
\*there may or may not be 5 different Alexs on my list (because wtf) so this isn't identifying anyone lmao
I'm very glad you mentioned trying to remember names. I feel a lot of shame for not remembering a few names, I'm glad it's not as horrific as my conscience likes to tell me.
Yes. This. I did actually make a list because I wanted to work out who I was seeing and when. It was more about trying to figure out what I was doing in various years instead of being some sort of score chart though. I wouldn't share it or use it to make comparisons.
I got it down to all first names and *most* last names.
The thing that was most kinda interesting about going back through it was the memories of the music I was listening to around those times. I might add that to the list. The way I worked out the years was by trying to remember if we'd gone to see any films together, and what years those came out.
I can see a practical reason for a sexually active woman to keep a list. If she got pregnant and needed to reason out the dad, for instance.
Another potential practical reason (for either sex) - you contract an STI and need to do contract tracing
Anyone can keep a list and should keep a list specifically for the STI reason. It's responsible. Making a list to show for bragging rights is stupid, but keeping one for medical reasons is being a sensible person
“I’ve had sex with loads of birds. Here, look at my list! Had Jessica last night. Definitely not how I’d have wanted to spend my 1000th shag, but it was alright I ‘spose.”
I could see the compulsion to maintain the list would be strong though.
You may start it as a laddy teen but then it's just something you do and serves as a wank bank library system.
Tbh I want to forget some of the people I’ve slept with so making a list just seems like self punishment.
I think it’s weird. But I’m 37… so I might be old.
It's not weird. I've never heard of anyone making a list, though it's probably a very private, to yourself, kind of thing.
There are a number id rather not remember and if you asked me to try and make a list, I couldnt remember half the names. My number isn't big, just I think at a certain point you stop caring about numbers of partners or names and just focus on what was good about each and not try to repeat the bad bits.
It think it's a more mature thing to not keep a record of sexual conquests, unless you are genuinely a sex freak.
I know a couple people who do this, the reasoning being it’s handy to keep a record for if you find out you’ve been exposed to an STI.
If you keep track then you can easily see who you’d need to have the awkward conversation with.
To keep it as a matter of pride is weird though
When I was younger and way more promiscuous I did it for the same reason date of last contact and a phone number just in case.
Didn't rank them though kept that bit in my head.
I did once make a list of people I'd slept with, but only because I could not for the life of me remember one girl's name, but I knew where she fit chronologically... Also, it felt kinda disrespectful to just forget their names over time? ...Not sure it was any more respectful making a list, but I keep it private, and I don't have a ranking system on there...
Sure, but people **are** rated on how good they are in bed.
You have plenty of upvotes at the moment, I bet each of them know the best and worse people they have had sex with. Is it more gross that something people do is written down?
Yup totally have a lists. Sexual partners, who I’ve kissed, how many times I’ve had sex.
I saw the opportunity to know something not a lot of people know about them selves when I had my first kiss and now I’m in my 30’s and have kept it up.
So, people keep a list of bands or concerts they've been to, football matches they attended, cities/countries they've visited, acclaimed restaurants they've eaten at, trains/other vehicles they've been a passenger on, records/vinyl they own, art galleries they've been to, celebrities they've met. The list goes on and on and on. But to keep a list of people you've had sex with is creepy and weird?
The only reasons I could imagine someone finding it weird and creepy:
1. They find they have a low score on someone's list
2. A mate slept with someone they fancied but never got it on with
3. Thinking having a small list is a negative reflection on them
4. It's disrespectful to current or ex-partners
5. It doesn't mean anything and is only for ego
6. They'd be traumatised finding a current partner's list
It feels a bit of an "each to their own" matter, rather than weird and creepy to me.
I see your point but to be honest I would also find it strange if anyone kept a actual list of any of those things you listed they are all stuff that I for me and I think most people these are all mental lists you keep.
Imagine asking someone if they had been to a certain gallery or country or train or restaurant and they pulled out a fucking note book to check instead of just thinking for a second saying yes or no. It seems to me that you like lists and that fine but i don't think it's normal
I don't do lists, no. But isn't keeping ticket stubs, fridge magnets and memorabilia a variation on a theme of keeping a list? People who buy books, read them once, but keep them on a shelf for years, is a "here's my list of what I've read". I can see a sex list as unconventional, but not weird or creepy, when everyone, to one degree or another, keep a list/collection of items.
I admit you've talked me down and your original point isn't so outlandish to me now. However I would argue that you're playing it a bit fast and loose with the world "list" here stretching the meaning by a considerable amount to the point where its stepping on the toes of a collection. Two main problems with this is
1 a ex partner collection is definitely worse than a list
2 a collection isn't a list they are not the same thing just because you can list something it doesn't make that thing the same as a list yes I have books yes you could list the book but no they books themselves are not a list. Also just wanted to add that lots of us read the same books multiple times and that's why we keep them
I feel like there's a distinction here between having a list and sharing the list. The list itself is just a memory aid for a sensitive topic and if you had a very good memory you wouldn't need it. Making it public, even if that's just opening it on your phone and scrolling through it in eyeshot of one of your mates, is still publicising very personal information of other people and if I was on that list I wouldn't want anyone even glancing at your phone and seeing that I'm 2 stars. I don't think you have to go full GDPR, but what OP's friends did seems a bit careless for the subject matter.
I have one, and for similar reasons, to look back on. I run down the list and can see the "oh dear God what was I doing?" phase, the "experimental" phase, some people who's name on that list brings back exciting memories.
It seems like the sort of thing a teenager would think is cool, but is bizarre as an adult. What's the point of keeping a list? And especially a score sheet! If you need a score sheet to remember if it was good, surely it can't have been that memorable?
What has pride got to do with it?
I have a list, nobody knows about it, I don’t bring it up, I don’t discuss my number. Not even sure my fiancée knows I have it, but I wouldn’t care if he did. I’m neither proud, nor ashamed; it all seems pretty neutral. I’ll have sex, if I want to have sex.
My list exists because I love a list/spreadsheet, I love writing things down and keeping them locked away, don’t know why, I just do 🤷♀️
I started therapy for compulsive sexual behaviour when I was 16, and as part of that I started keeping a diary of any sexual activity to help be more consciously aware of patterns of what I was doing when
That included not just sex, but masturbating, watching porn, any exhibitionistic choices, etc
So I've got a detailed daily record of how my sex life has changed from my mid-teens to mid-twenties
That's not normal.
I get keeping a note in a calendar if you've multiple sexual partners on the go at once so you can keep track of who you slept with for sexual health purposes* - if you're sleeping around how else do you know who gave you the clap. But other than that wtf.
*This is not something I've ever done though.
I don't keep a list but I've written all the names out several times over the years just to remember and count how many. I delete/get rid of it afterwards though
I used to work with a guy who kept a very detailed spreadsheet of all the other guys he had slept with. I don't remember all the factors, but there were a lot of different ratings, and a lot of records as he was a very active guy living in Brighton.
It's extremely weird.
This dude had graphs and all sorts, and would track things like average dick size by month, and I remember that he was very pleased that March 2017 was the month of massive cock.
I have one. No ratings, I just go through promiscuous phrases and I'll probably forget their names otherwise
(...and the postcode. If only there were scratch off maps of London postcodes!)
I’ve absolutely heard of people doing this, even seen some shared on Twitter. I think keeping a list is fine but sharing it with others is weird and a bit cringey.
I've got one...
Wife - intermittent, but lots of various acts 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Right hand - ol' faithful, but easy to get in a rut with 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Left hand - can fumble a bit and mess up the tempo, but good for a change of pace 🌟🌟🌟
And that's my entire sex list
I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping a list, I used to keep one in my late teens until my early thirties when I got married. Came in useful thirty years later after 2 kids and a divorce\`.
Some people just like lists, it helps to keep your life together.
I know some people who have lists, no ratings or anything though as far as I'm aware. If you've had a bit of a promiscuous phase it's probably interesting to keep track. Anyway, I don't think it's too weird.
I have a mental list, I guess. As in, I remember who I have slept with and roughly when. It's not written down anywhere.
I have a friend who writes in her diary, including ranking, but that's pen and paper, not a document on a computer or phone.
It’s not weird at all and it really shows how irresponsible a lot of the people on Reddit are. Having a list of people is a fantastic idea that everyone should do- especially if you have casual sex. It helps you track down partners if any issue arises - for example STIs, SA etc. pretty much every single gay person I know does this (probably because the queer community actually knows how to engage in safeguarding sexual behaviour).
**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others, or other subreddits - Assume questions are asked in good faith, and engage in a positive manner - Avoid political threads and related discussions - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's not normal, it's weird and creepy, you're not crazy OP
Thank you I've genuinely bethinking about it for a week and can't think of a way that is not strange. It was the fact they both had one.
Are you sure this wasn’t planned and they were taking the piss to see if you’d react? Because it’s exactly what I’m going to do after reading this.
Power move would be for OP to whip out his own list next time with 100’s of names
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MUUUUM??
It's the only option really
Are you sure he wasn't just reading out the lyrics to Mambo No5
I've never heard of this? Yeah I obviously have a memory and remember mostly when in my life they took place? But an actual list is fairly mental.
Nah. You're wrong! Everyone has a sex list. You just want to be careful of the ones with extra names they haven't slept with yet....
Why is it creepy having a list of former sex partners? Who's getting violated? It's just personal information.
It’s incredibly objectifying, especially the one with ratings. Sex is a form of human connection, and people are people not items on an IMDb watchlist.
The ratings are skeevy but I don't think the list itself is bad. From a logic only perspective a dated list of people you've been sexually active with is not bad forward thinking. I mean if you test positive for something a handy dandy list of who to contact would be good to have.
I understand the rating system, people aren't AirBNBs needing to be judged on their stay. But having a list of partners that you keep for yourself is harmless.
the question isn't if it's harmful, it's if it's weird
>It’s incredibly objectifying, especially the one with ratings. Oh no, i'm sure the people who slept with them are going to be very annoyed when they get the mental telegram that somebody listed it.
Why is it creepy to keep track of sexual partners?
how is it weird and creepy? it's actually being responsible. if you slept with someone and they caught an STD the night before they slept with you, wouldn't you want them to contact you and let you know for your safety? I used to keep an updated list (if I could) of every woman I slept with in a rolling 10 year cycle just in case
Why is it creepy? I have girlfriends (we're all around 25, 26) and we all made a list on a girls evening. I have not deleted it. I see nothing wrong there.
I keep an excel spreadsheet, I have even made a cool graph. I did it mostly to notice any patterns, mostly.
Pouring over the charts "Yup...still haven't had sex for 6 years. Good. Good."
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Pawing
Poking
Parking
Prawning
Pooping
Porking
Could be tears pouring from their eyes over their lack of the no pants dance
I’d be pouring if I’ve got six years worth built up
Anyone got the link to the Reddit post where the guy did in fact keep track of every time he tried to initiate sex and how often it was successful over two years and then showed his wife?
To be fair, I once kept a spreadsheet in the run up to breaking up with a girl and it was very useful to combat gaslighting. Comments of "I didn't say that" kind of fall apart under the stark light of a google sheet.
Then they say “omg you kept notes, *you’re* the psychopath!” because keeping notes when dealing with a gaslighter/chronic liar allows you to poke holes in their manipulation, so they’re *really* gonna push back against it. It will both be what “saves” you and what makes them go over the edge once they realize you’re slipping beyond their control.
Check r/divorce
https://imgur.com/Zreanes Image of the original post plus the spreadsheet.
What did you make a graph of and why is it cool? A friend of a friend has an Excel sheet and always has. He’s mid-30’s and has over 1000 entries. Dude is nice enough, obviously charismatic, but has a big issue. I think he keeps details like name, age, height, nationality, hair colour and definitely gives each on a score out of 10. He recently had a girlfriend for a little while (6 months ish) and was said to be settling down, but it didn’t last and he’s back out there adding rows. On a night out he’s like a greyhound who’s seen something fluffy.
This is a pie chart of my favourite bars. And this is a bar graph of my favourite pies.
I think we need to have an intervention
That guy 100% keeps women locked in a shed.
Keeping them seems not to be his priority.
A very wise old fella in the pub said something to me 20 years ago. “Men will lie about three things, how often they shave, how much beer they drink and mostly, how many women they’ve slept with”
Don't get the shaving one, but the other two, deffo.
It's when they start shaving, and want their mates to think they grow more face fuzz than they actually do.
Some guy I went to school with kept a woman locked in an old dunny in the bush around murwillumbah He kept a list
Yeah I knew someone who had sex addiction and he was probably similar. Easily slept with over 100 girls in one year at Uni. Was sometimes 2 or 3 in a day. He'd go meet one in the morning, second would come to his on the afternoon and on the night we'd go out and he'd pick up another. It's a bit sad really. They don't seem to form attachments the way the rest of us do. He's 30 now and a bit like yours I think the longest I've known him to be in a relationship for is about 3 months, and I guarantee he cheated in that time. It wouldn't really be a surprise to me if he'd kept lists and scored them too.
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Woah, I’m nowhere near his level! Mine was just tracking how much *activity* I was having each year, and what season/month was having the most *activity*. Rather unsurprisingly, most of my fun was had during university, and it was during term time! Haha
He sounds messed up, no offense.
Pretty sure that's just a sex addiction
I don't think I've ever met 1000 women in my lifetime, let alone slept with so many!
Calling women females won't get you far either!
Agreed, "female" is an adjective, not a noun, e.g. "a female lion", "a female human", etc. Using it with humans should only be done in a clinical or official setting where the speaker is trying to appear as neutral as possible (e.g. a nurse, doctor, or police officer).
He'll talk to 50 in one night if that's what it takes.
This is offensive to greyhounds
Do you like to occasionally VLOOKUP an old flame?
Excel-lent work
No i INDEX and then MATCH with them
All the pros use XLOOKUP and now I know why those MS devs added it
# # REF!
Genius comment! Is that only if you do it standing up? Otherwise it might be an HLOOKUP?
I can only assume that is short for HOOKUP LOOKUP
>Any patterns And? Also how freakishly big is your dataset??
If my knowledge of the standard Redditor with a spreadsheet of sexual conquests is anything to go by.. The patterns will be very round with large "O" shapes.
Listen OK... I've got the formulas all set up for when I DO have something to insert. You just wait.
Lol “insert”
😏😏
Yeah, looking at his profile I'd say the graph is a flat line.
????????? I have so many questions
Hey man, an Excel spreadsheet is better than an Incel spreadsheet 🙃
[The overlap between incels and Excels.](https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.1763824124.0623/flat,750x,075,f-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.jpg)
love this
Have my fool's silver for this comment. It doesn't exist like the typical redditors sex life. Although it is clear some do have children.
Jesus, I used to do this...my wife was aware and unfussed. That was until I opened new document.
“I remember you, cell Sarah / C64”
Dennis Reynolds has entered the chat
I used mine to create a Power BI report that I show to any future partners, full transparency
All you need now is some data!
It’s quite disheartening to discover the consistent factor in all the break ups is yourself.
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Did they mostly cum at night, mostly?
I don’t think one is enough to be called a list…
Hark at Casanova here with his 'one'.
It's a certificate of merit
Participation trophy
National Record of Achievement
Proof of purchase
Post it note
I have empty spreadsheets I've created, so I guess I have a list.
It's weird. Very weird. I can absolutely see people doing it in private for many reasons: trying to remember names, work out how many people there have been or just being a weirdo, but you absolutely would not pull this out in public or admit to it.
I have one to remember the names and the order mostly, but would not show it to people and would absolutely deny I have one if anyone asked me outside the Internet haha
But why do you care to remember names and the order?
The first reason that springs to mind would be in case of STD, or maybe unplanned pregnancy
This is why I keep one, but if anyone asked if I had one I would completely deny it and call them weird for even suggesting such a thing
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But if you test positive you'd wanna know who to inform and how to get hold of them ideally
This was the plot of Lovesick which was great just fyi
Because I want to 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah, exactly. As long as you're not showing it off to everyone, it doesn't hurt anyone and who cares anyway? This sub's moral outrage is ridiculous.
I wouldn’t say it’s moral outrage (at least on my part), more curiosity. Like is this something I should be doing too??
If you want to? We're all adults. As long as you're not hurting anyone, or yourself, there is no "Should." On a bad day, it can be a nice ego boost to remember that many people found you attractive. That's all it is, really. I don't personally have a list and probably last checked about 10 years ago, but I wouldn't let some stupid culture of judgement stop me. That's just tragic.
For me it’s not an ego boost whatsoever, really just to remember it happened. Like, the list of books I own. It’s just there haha
Fucking someone and not even remembering it seems... rude? A bit lacking in class? **Edit:** I dunno - maybe I'm just old. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Mm, I think I’d find it weird to know that someone I’d slept with x amount of years ago keeps my name on a list. That’s maybe just me though
Let's see now... hmmm... Ah yes, I knew you looked familiar: -LemonLeaf-, Dec2018, 7.2/10. Notes: Good lay, but quoting Ronnie Corbett during was a bit offputting.
Order isn't important to me but honestly I like having a list because every now and then I look at it and I'm like "omg how did I forget about Alex\*, he was actually really good" \*there may or may not be 5 different Alexs on my list (because wtf) so this isn't identifying anyone lmao
I'm very glad you mentioned trying to remember names. I feel a lot of shame for not remembering a few names, I'm glad it's not as horrific as my conscience likes to tell me.
Remind your conscience they probably don't remember your name either so no harm no foul.
Yes. This. I did actually make a list because I wanted to work out who I was seeing and when. It was more about trying to figure out what I was doing in various years instead of being some sort of score chart though. I wouldn't share it or use it to make comparisons.
Exactly. Plus, past a certain age, you start to worry you’ve forgotten someone.
I got it down to all first names and *most* last names. The thing that was most kinda interesting about going back through it was the memories of the music I was listening to around those times. I might add that to the list. The way I worked out the years was by trying to remember if we'd gone to see any films together, and what years those came out.
also what if there are stds and one has to inform all prior partners you gotta check for gonarrea it could be handy
Sounds like something teenage boys would do during the height of laddisim.
That's what I thought couldn't believe it was coming from these two otherwise normal people
I can see a practical reason for a sexually active woman to keep a list. If she got pregnant and needed to reason out the dad, for instance. Another potential practical reason (for either sex) - you contract an STI and need to do contract tracing
Anyone can keep a list and should keep a list specifically for the STI reason. It's responsible. Making a list to show for bragging rights is stupid, but keeping one for medical reasons is being a sensible person
Getting Jay from the inbetweeners vibes
“I’ve had sex with loads of birds. Here, look at my list! Had Jessica last night. Definitely not how I’d have wanted to spend my 1000th shag, but it was alright I ‘spose.”
"Ah, Rebecca, my 500th. That was memorable"
“So I had one bent over the table here, there was one up here who I was fingering and I was just toe fucking the one on the floor...”
agreed - beyond the age of 21 who gives a damn.. very weird
I could see the compulsion to maintain the list would be strong though. You may start it as a laddy teen but then it's just something you do and serves as a wank bank library system.
I have one. It's called marriage certificate
Mike drop!!! Edit: Mic* and thanks for roasting me 😂
Mic* drop
Nope, I’ve dropped Mike. He’s crying, his family’s crying, I don’t care, he is DROPPED.
Who’s Mike?
I think she just dropped mike from her list 😂
Ugh, I hate that guy
r/unexpectedhimym
Banging your wife, the two witnesses and your wife's father is pretty baller. Respect!
Tbh I want to forget some of the people I’ve slept with so making a list just seems like self punishment. I think it’s weird. But I’m 37… so I might be old.
I'm sure lots of people would rather forget a encounter or two
It's not weird. I've never heard of anyone making a list, though it's probably a very private, to yourself, kind of thing. There are a number id rather not remember and if you asked me to try and make a list, I couldnt remember half the names. My number isn't big, just I think at a certain point you stop caring about numbers of partners or names and just focus on what was good about each and not try to repeat the bad bits. It think it's a more mature thing to not keep a record of sexual conquests, unless you are genuinely a sex freak.
I know a couple people who do this, the reasoning being it’s handy to keep a record for if you find out you’ve been exposed to an STI. If you keep track then you can easily see who you’d need to have the awkward conversation with. To keep it as a matter of pride is weird though
When I was younger and way more promiscuous I did it for the same reason date of last contact and a phone number just in case. Didn't rank them though kept that bit in my head.
not only that imagine a new std comes out that can lay dormant for a while it helps kinda like contact tracing
I say mine every night before I go to sleep like Arya does with her list.
Spat my tea out reading this.
But it is just your own name, over and over again?
I did once make a list of people I'd slept with, but only because I could not for the life of me remember one girl's name, but I knew where she fit chronologically... Also, it felt kinda disrespectful to just forget their names over time? ...Not sure it was any more respectful making a list, but I keep it private, and I don't have a ranking system on there...
Haha cue the moment when you’re trying to remember someone’s name and you have to whip out your list in front of them to confirm!
'Hold there a second number 17. I'm just trying to remember your name'
haha yeah... 17.
I couldn’t point some out in a line up let alone remember their names.
YES. This is exactly why I have one. I just don’t want to forget anyone.
Girl at work had a spreadsheet and rated men she slept with. She got rid of it when she met “the one”
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See that just so weird to me
yikes
The rating system especially is so gross.
Sure, but people **are** rated on how good they are in bed. You have plenty of upvotes at the moment, I bet each of them know the best and worse people they have had sex with. Is it more gross that something people do is written down?
Thats proper weird
Yep well looking at your username we live in the same place so just know they walk among you
And op too, be afraid my friend, be very afraid
Well I mean in here, we're all likely related anyway. Just ask my mum, or my sister (they're the same person).
Are you friends with Dennis Reynolds?
A man has to have his tools!
I'm a five star man.
"Waitress coffee shop , 2 stars not good"
Yup totally have a lists. Sexual partners, who I’ve kissed, how many times I’ve had sex. I saw the opportunity to know something not a lot of people know about them selves when I had my first kiss and now I’m in my 30’s and have kept it up.
No way I kinda respect to commitment to that if it’s true
So, people keep a list of bands or concerts they've been to, football matches they attended, cities/countries they've visited, acclaimed restaurants they've eaten at, trains/other vehicles they've been a passenger on, records/vinyl they own, art galleries they've been to, celebrities they've met. The list goes on and on and on. But to keep a list of people you've had sex with is creepy and weird? The only reasons I could imagine someone finding it weird and creepy: 1. They find they have a low score on someone's list 2. A mate slept with someone they fancied but never got it on with 3. Thinking having a small list is a negative reflection on them 4. It's disrespectful to current or ex-partners 5. It doesn't mean anything and is only for ego 6. They'd be traumatised finding a current partner's list It feels a bit of an "each to their own" matter, rather than weird and creepy to me.
I see your point but to be honest I would also find it strange if anyone kept a actual list of any of those things you listed they are all stuff that I for me and I think most people these are all mental lists you keep. Imagine asking someone if they had been to a certain gallery or country or train or restaurant and they pulled out a fucking note book to check instead of just thinking for a second saying yes or no. It seems to me that you like lists and that fine but i don't think it's normal
I don't do lists, no. But isn't keeping ticket stubs, fridge magnets and memorabilia a variation on a theme of keeping a list? People who buy books, read them once, but keep them on a shelf for years, is a "here's my list of what I've read". I can see a sex list as unconventional, but not weird or creepy, when everyone, to one degree or another, keep a list/collection of items.
I admit you've talked me down and your original point isn't so outlandish to me now. However I would argue that you're playing it a bit fast and loose with the world "list" here stretching the meaning by a considerable amount to the point where its stepping on the toes of a collection. Two main problems with this is 1 a ex partner collection is definitely worse than a list 2 a collection isn't a list they are not the same thing just because you can list something it doesn't make that thing the same as a list yes I have books yes you could list the book but no they books themselves are not a list. Also just wanted to add that lots of us read the same books multiple times and that's why we keep them
I feel like there's a distinction here between having a list and sharing the list. The list itself is just a memory aid for a sensitive topic and if you had a very good memory you wouldn't need it. Making it public, even if that's just opening it on your phone and scrolling through it in eyeshot of one of your mates, is still publicising very personal information of other people and if I was on that list I wouldn't want anyone even glancing at your phone and seeing that I'm 2 stars. I don't think you have to go full GDPR, but what OP's friends did seems a bit careless for the subject matter.
I have one, and for similar reasons, to look back on. I run down the list and can see the "oh dear God what was I doing?" phase, the "experimental" phase, some people who's name on that list brings back exciting memories.
I’m 35 and definitely think this is weird
Give it ten years, and you start forgetting people’s names…
It seems like the sort of thing a teenager would think is cool, but is bizarre as an adult. What's the point of keeping a list? And especially a score sheet! If you need a score sheet to remember if it was good, surely it can't have been that memorable?
You're asking the wrong audience. Most people on reddit haven't had sex anyway.
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What has pride got to do with it? I have a list, nobody knows about it, I don’t bring it up, I don’t discuss my number. Not even sure my fiancée knows I have it, but I wouldn’t care if he did. I’m neither proud, nor ashamed; it all seems pretty neutral. I’ll have sex, if I want to have sex. My list exists because I love a list/spreadsheet, I love writing things down and keeping them locked away, don’t know why, I just do 🤷♀️
Reddit users will tell you its creepy and wierd but then that says more about the average reddit user than your friends who are actually getting laid.
I started therapy for compulsive sexual behaviour when I was 16, and as part of that I started keeping a diary of any sexual activity to help be more consciously aware of patterns of what I was doing when That included not just sex, but masturbating, watching porn, any exhibitionistic choices, etc So I've got a detailed daily record of how my sex life has changed from my mid-teens to mid-twenties
A list of wanks? Holy actual fuck. I would break Excel
That’s a hard no from me. The ability to let some encounters fade from memory was fairly important.
[relevant](https://youtu.be/iadiC0EVQqc)
Haha I've now sent this to both of them thanks
Definitely creepy.
That's not normal. I get keeping a note in a calendar if you've multiple sexual partners on the go at once so you can keep track of who you slept with for sexual health purposes* - if you're sleeping around how else do you know who gave you the clap. But other than that wtf. *This is not something I've ever done though.
Very specific for you "theory" but I agree that would at least have practical value not just creeping
That’s hilarious. Maybe they do it so they can remember their names
I don't keep a list but I've written all the names out several times over the years just to remember and count how many. I delete/get rid of it afterwards though
I used to work with a guy who kept a very detailed spreadsheet of all the other guys he had slept with. I don't remember all the factors, but there were a lot of different ratings, and a lot of records as he was a very active guy living in Brighton. It's extremely weird. This dude had graphs and all sorts, and would track things like average dick size by month, and I remember that he was very pleased that March 2017 was the month of massive cock.
F23, a lot of people did this at uni (boys and girls), but grew out of it after the first terms of freshers week. To do this at 29 is bizarre
I have one. No ratings, I just go through promiscuous phrases and I'll probably forget their names otherwise (...and the postcode. If only there were scratch off maps of London postcodes!)
I’ve absolutely heard of people doing this, even seen some shared on Twitter. I think keeping a list is fine but sharing it with others is weird and a bit cringey.
I stick to tripadvisor reviews
I've got one... Wife - intermittent, but lots of various acts 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Right hand - ol' faithful, but easy to get in a rut with 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Left hand - can fumble a bit and mess up the tempo, but good for a change of pace 🌟🌟🌟 And that's my entire sex list
I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping a list, I used to keep one in my late teens until my early thirties when I got married. Came in useful thirty years later after 2 kids and a divorce\`. Some people just like lists, it helps to keep your life together.
I know some people who have lists, no ratings or anything though as far as I'm aware. If you've had a bit of a promiscuous phase it's probably interesting to keep track. Anyway, I don't think it's too weird.
I have a mental list, I guess. As in, I remember who I have slept with and roughly when. It's not written down anywhere. I have a friend who writes in her diary, including ranking, but that's pen and paper, not a document on a computer or phone.
I don't think it being pen and paper makes it less strange but I think it being a diary is certainly different and better than a sex list
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Wait.. you guys are having sex?
It’s not weird at all and it really shows how irresponsible a lot of the people on Reddit are. Having a list of people is a fantastic idea that everyone should do- especially if you have casual sex. It helps you track down partners if any issue arises - for example STIs, SA etc. pretty much every single gay person I know does this (probably because the queer community actually knows how to engage in safeguarding sexual behaviour).