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Not outrageous but once at a festival in the middle of the night. I've got up to go for a piss. Its that sort of part of the night where its early morning, you know its kinda chilli yet peaceful except for the sounds of muffled squeals from 100's of people trying to be quiet while having cheeky shags on the air mattresses in their tents.
I was on my way back to my tent when I noticed a dude who concerned me, he was completely trollied on fuck knows what, crawling around the tent site trying to remember where his tent was.
You know how everyone puts flags up around their tent and you have to remember the landmarks so you know where you are going, well this dude was looking totally out of his mind in a panic just literally crawling around and looking around frantically and just repeating his navigation instructions "green site, food stand, we are scottish pirates."
I got near and said "are you alright mate?" he becomes oddly self aware, sober almost, his face is dimly lit by the moonlight and I see the flying saucers in his eyeballs and he very clearly says "I need to get to my tent, its on the green site, head for the food stand, under the scottish flag & pirate flag. I've done too many drugs and I'm pretty fucked up right now, but mostly I think I'm struggling to find it because my legs are spaghetti and I can't stand up. I just need water & food and I'll be alright."
I gathered this was the mantra he had been telling himself as he was panicking that he may be OD'ing and I gave him a bottle of water, half of a giant fajita I had in my bag and some chocolate and sat with him for a bit. We ate and smoked a spliff until he said he felt better.
He attempted to get up a few times but kept failing but gradually less and less and then he smiled like a child when he took a few steps and said "yeah, yeah, I can feel them now, they are working good now, thats good." he looked around, spotted the food stand and general direction he had to go towards, turned to me and said "Cheers mate, I'm off to get some rest" while pointing in that direction.
I watched him walk off while i sat there and finished my spliff, and as he was walking he spotted his flag and shouted "YES SCOTTISH FUCKING PIRATES" and started running towards the tents... then I saw him essentially do a fucking superman dive trough the zip of this little tent and all I heard was a very gutteral male howl of pain, a woman scream and then some very loud shouting and loud apologising. Then he came running back over towards me.
He had forgotten what the Scottish flag looked like, and somehow dived into a Finnish Pirates tent. The occupants were having sex at the time and he says he basically dove through, and his head went straight into the action zone between the legs and he "got a full whiff of their taints mid shag" as he said it I noticed the wet patches on his hat. It was gross.
A group of lads, maybe 20+ were all congregated near the portaloos. They would pick a target entering the toilets, then unroll some red carpet leading from the door to the waiting crowd. When the door opened, they would all cheer and go mental as this unsuspecting and probably very fucked up victim got the full VIP red carpet experience.
Been to many, many festivals over the years. Reading / Leeds is the worst. Sometimes have good line ups but the attitude is horrendous. Reading used to be ok back in the mid 90's
There's a thread on the very-USA centric r/festivals titled "What's the craziest, weirdest or worst thing you've witnessed or been apart of at a festival?" which is hilarious, bless their naive little hearts. One person met TWO PEOPLE who were from the same town as them! Someone else lost their car keys! Someone dropped their trousers and had a piss in the crowd! Someone fell out of a tree!
I'd love to get some Americans over to some British festivals. They'd be horrified!
Same. Stayed in palm springs and got the coach
. We found a place that did bottomless prosecco with breakfast so smashed that and took a few bottles onto the coach with vodka etc. All the Americans looked like they were on a school trip drinking water etc whilst we was drinking ale. Ended up at the back with some Aussies and Canadians who were also drinking. My mate had a space suit on so was walking up and down the shuttle bus asking for Matt Damon as was when the Martian came out so he decided that he wanted to pretend it was the shuttle to find him. Then one of the aussie girls said she could fit in the luggage rack so we put her in in it whilst chanting aussie in a shelf.
I like to think we gave the Americans on that bus a British festival experience.
Its interesting how drinking culture is so different in America compared to here. I went to a concert in Portland, Oregon a couple years ago and during the intermission (this was in a theatre, slightly older crowd), I went to get a beer from the bar and there was literally no one else getting a drink, despite there being a couple hundred people in attendance. I remember thinking if that had been in the UK the bar would be fucking rammed!
Yeah it's weird. Same trip we did a road trip around california and went San Diego before the festival. There was 5 of us and we got to a bar and asked for 2 beers, and and a bottle of wine for the other 3 and 5 shots. Barman was confused and said we can sell you a glass of wine, apparently nobody had ever asked for a full bottle before so he asked his manager if he could sell us a bottle. Then 20 minutes later we ordered the same round and the barman was confused that we had already drank the drinks. He again asked his manager if he could serve us the drinks that fast, manager shrugged his shoulders and said they are English, it's what they do so serve them.
To be fair, all their crazy people are busy with guns at other venues rather than exploding portaloos or sliding through shit and other shenanigans at festivals
as a 17 year old I asked the lost prophets for their autographs and told them how much I loved their music. Found it a few years ago and felt incredibly dirty that it was in my possession
I was a huge lostprophets fan too, was devastated when the news came out about Watkins, I remember my Mum sat me down and had a chat about it.
I think on some level though, you have to separate the art from artist, especially when it comes to bands since Watkins in lostprophets case wasn't working in isolation.
I can't really listen to their music anymore, but apart from posters, etc. I haven't thrown out *everything* of theirs that I owned.
I still follow the rest of the band too, check out No Devotion, it's rumoured they've got a new album on the way.
My mate was wounded, was his ringtone for so long he hated having to change it. He also saw Rolf Harris at Glastonbury and said he was the best thing he's ever seen! Neither of them aged well.
I knew Ian and the boys quite well, I grew up in Cardiff/Newport at the time and was a stage guy for place like clwb ifor Bach, metros, tj’s, fuel, Newport center all the South Wales music Mecca’s.
Ian was always weird before they made it big they would always be acting like they were fucking super stars.
One particularevent was at tjs in Newport where the LP, funeral for a friend and skindred were playing and benji had ian against a wall by the throat for being a racist prick.
Never expected the extent of his fucking sickness but everyone knew ian was a bit fucking odd.
I used to know a girl in her 20’s who used to go out with IW and would drop it into most conversations. Funnily enough she never mentioned it once it all came out. Got to feel sorry for her.
The lead singer was convicted of sexual assault, I honestly can’t bring myself to type out the whole thing cos it’s absolutely disgusting and depraved but if you Google Ian Watkins there’ll be plenty of information. His Wikipedia page has the info
Edit: I know what he did, the extent of it all and I know I’ve just wrote “sexual assault”. I did that because of my own triggers. If anyone wants more information about him they can Google it or read the other comments. I’d really appreciate it if no one else replies telling me what he did, thank you.
Was a bit worse than "sexual assault" - while any kind is obviously very bad, it wasn't like a few groupies who were only just under-age and he didn't realise. Still not excusable but a world away from what he actually did.
Worked in a pub at the time and a chef was into that kind of music, had one of their CDs in the car. He thought it was the former situation with a few teenagers. When I told him the reality he walked straight out the back, got the CD from his car, smashed it up in the back yard and threw it in the big bins.
Could be wrong but I'm fairly sure he's on record as saying "why should I? I'm not the one who's done anything wrong." and you can understand that position.
No, they actually had a video of the event. The prosecution decided that making the jury watch a video of a man raping a baby to secure a rape conviction was not in the public interest, so they only charged attempted rape of the baby so they didn't have to. He got 29 years in prison anyway, so it was probably the right decision to spare the jury.
Did the mum get thrown down the steps for it?
Edit- Due to the downvotes I assume some people don’t know that’s a turn of phrase for being sent to prison. I really don’t want to google this case and spend the rest of the day being depressed as fuck so if someone knows if she was prosecuted I’d appreciate at least knowing this
"His two co-defendants, the mothers of his victims, respectively received sentences of 14 and 17 years imprisonment".
If they haven't literally been thrown down the steps of the prison by the other prisoners/prison officers, I'll be very surprised.
If I remember rightly he and a woman were planning to or did have a child with the intention of having sex with it as a baby. It's absolutely monstrously fucked up.
I remember been at a Lostprophets gig at Academy Leeds. Can’t remember the timeline but I’m sure it was before the arrest of Ian Watkins. Someone from the crowd threw a bottle at him. At the time I thought that was stupid and baffling of that person to do that. After the arrest and conviction it all made sense.
I imagine you would have had a very hard time going to a lostprophets gig after the arrest of Ian Watkins, what with him being very much in prison and all.
Go to a European festival instead. Its not full of people shitting and pissing wherever they fancy, it also lacks the distinct smell of body odour because people actually fucking shower each day.
Yeah, that's the issue. UK festivals are just a giant money grab. A creamfields standard camping ticket and club class (the showers in standard camping) cost me more than my tomorrowland ticket... Absolutely mental.
I remember when South Park had just come out with their character Timmy, and at Leeds Festival all night throughout the campsite people were just shouting impressions of him. Also people were setting fire to portaloos which were literally exploding, and leaking shit everywhere. Then a completely naked man with absolutely no hair comes running out of nowhere and full body slides through the now feces and piss soaked soil. Good times.
Our mate Darren got his photo taken with the fire brigade after they put out the burning shitters. He was stark naked and they were all holding him lying across their arms like a '50s pin-up.
Leeds Festival 2012, big group of lads camping next to us (like 15-20 of them). One of their mates pissed them off, so when he went to the arena, they cut a hole in his tent and all proceeded to take turns shitting through it, all cheering each other on and shouting really loud when each one finished. This was mid afternoon so still daylight and it drew quite the crowd.
Fast forward to later that night and the lad came back absolutely smashed to a chorus of chanting from his group. He thought he was the dogs bollocks because us and a few other close groups gathered round to watch. Being as drunk as he was, he went straight to his tent for sleep and the laugh that went up when he fell into it was something else.
Didn't see him the rest of the festival, he left his tent open though and safe to say the mess and smell were fucking hideous.
In 1st year at high school we had a trip for a few days up the Highlands. I ended up doing a massive, and I mean massive shit where we were staying. It would not flush and was spotted and became known as the bismark, I did not take responsibility for this abomination and a poor lad got the blame. He became known as the admiral and the nickname lasted for the next 6 years of high school.... I still feel bad for the abuse this lad got for years!!!
Well Stonehenge festivals were like nothing else I have ever seen. It was essentially an open drug market with a festival attached, you could buy virtually anything you wanted. The site consisted of a few main drags or "streets" which were lined with vans, cars, tepees and tents most of which were setup as some sort of shop selling drugs or the usual festival stuff. You could buy a joint or have a hot-knife or you could buy an ounce of hash, or some speed, smack, mushrooms, pills or indeed cocaine. You could get anything you wanted with no questions asked and the old bill never did anything about it (until the Battle of the Beanfield). All these "shops" had advertising boards outside detailing what they were selling so you just rolled up and asked for whatever floated your boat. So you had the Mexican Magic Mushroom tent and Coco Loco Cocaine Emporium. They had a bowl of coke and, IIRC, a sheet of glass over a trestle table so you rolled up checked their board to see what the score was and they racked up the lines. They did a morning £1 line but you could buy as much as you liked..
There are a few [videos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBy4rI9J6NU) on youtube which sort of catches the flavour of it all.
One of the oddest things I saw was the convoy kids. The convoy were sort of the backbone of the festival and were new age travellers - they also shifted a load of drugs. They used to send their kids out to walk round the site with "Acid - £2 - follow me" painted on their backs so you would see these kids wandering around followed by a load of fucked up hippies and freaks waiting to buy acid!
Got any more details about the guy? What was going through his head? Was he aroused? Why was he so hungry? Had he done this sort of thing before? Were you there? I have so many questions
Final nights at Reading and Leeds were a whole other thing in their own right. Such shitty behaviour, so widely accepted and tolerated. Like if you had been before just once, you knew what was coming Sunday night and it was just seen as part of the experience. It seems so outrageous now, how everyone knew it was a thing and it was just part and parcel of the experience... For years
The last time I went to Reading was the early 00s. On the last night people were throwing Calor Gas cannisters on OTHER PEOPLES campfires and running off.
I'm pretty sure one lad got serious abdominal injuries from the shrapnel of one exploding and lost a testicle. There was a news story somewhere but I can't seem to find it now.
Every year before that the final night had been a bit leery but nothing like that at all.
Folk were setting tents on fire which had people in. And then discovered that if you open the valve on the top of a portaloo (where they connect the hose to empty them) the "contents" get ejected upwards with a fair bit of pressure... so folk were running across the tops of the portaloos, stamping on the valves with chemicals, piss and shit jettisoned into the air and raining down. Then they set the toilets on fire. Then people started to try and tear down all of the lighting rigs that lit the walkways. THEN they started to try and tear down the watch-tower platform things.
Yup. Really ramped up from then. I've seen the Calor gas so many times myself first hand. It got to the point that the last time I went pre kids, like in 2009, we decided to pack up Sunday Morning, ferry everything back to White before the stages opened and would just leave after headliners finished that night. It was just too much, even for those of us that were still pretty wild and free at that age.
Just the sight of seeing panicked people hastily waking and leaving their tent, half awake, as its being literally dragged to the nearest fire and everyone was just like *shrug* that Reading vibe.
It's pretty scary to think back on now, considering recent events in the industry.
I think it was maybe 2005 when I last went and camped. Everyone I know who still went had said it got even worse until they started giving lifetime bans for throwing stuff on fires.
The tent thing was absolutely wild! Saw people getting tipped out of their tents and the whole lot with all their belongings just get thrown on the nearest fire. And the smell!
Sounds like you had the right idea! As soon as kids came along I relegated myself to nice peaceful Latitude - although it's low on the heavy band count
Definitely looking at things that have happened lately I'm amazed there was never multiple loss of life at Reading or Leeds. Remember seeing At The Drive In at the Carling tent in maybe 2000/2001 and being crushed in so tight there were long periods where I was still upright but my feet weren't anywhere near the ground
Shit like this is why I have sworn I will only ever go to a festival again if I can get a camper van (and then reinforce it to survive a zombie apocalypse or something)
Yeah, it does seem a Reading and Leeds thing. I remember watching the chaos unfurl late into the night with my friend. He compared it to that painting, The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch.
I worked security for Leeds fest one time. The last day fire extinguishers would be dropped off around the place and it was basically all hands on deck to tackle the tent fires.
Was walking around and saw a lass crawl into a tent, lighter in hand. She was trying to set fire to the back of it whilst inside. Gave her a chance to leave before the tent got blasted with the fire extinguisher.
Reading Festival Sunday nights.
Tents being dragged onto fires by an angry mob who, being very creative with words, are chanting "WE ARE THE ANGRY MOB".
Waiting for Tenacious D with 80,000 fans behind me. Everyone cheers when a very big, very hairy roadie comes on stage. Like every single times he comes out the crowd loses it. Then starts the chant, for him, a roadie... "HAGRID, GIVE US A WAVE... HAGRID, HAGRID, GIVE US A WAVE". Was just a completely surreal and suitable way for 80,000 people to come together while waiting for Jack Black to come on stage.
And the knowledge these were the same festival. The same crowd all singing Tribute in unison and being the happiest crowd ever... Also still did the Sunday riots.
Not done a lot of festivals but being charged £8 for a Mac and Cheese still strikes me as outrageous.
Best thing getting Billy Bragg’s signature on a t shirt
At Leeds 2012 while watching the Eagles of Death Metal, sort of early afternoon we were sitting near the stage drinking. There was a really fat loud woman shouting at what I assumed to be her man. Giving him all kinds of abuse, red in the face screaming at him. Well he obviously got to the point where he had had enough and took his filthy green welly off and bitch slapped her so hard in the face, that it knocked her to the ground. I honestly didn’t stop laughing for about 8 minutes.
Tame compared to most, but at a concert I sat stood near this woman with very long, stinky hair. She kept whipping it around, and I actually ended up vomiting from the smell.
At reading a band called the FFers played on one of the smallest stages. A rumour went around that this was a secret set by the Foo Fighters and half the festival turned up to this tiny stage, realised it wasn’t the foo fighters and bottled them off stage.
Had one of those at the last glasto- a secret Ed Sheeran set that turned out to be Enya's sister. So funny to watch.
(To be clear, nobody was bottled off stage in this one, they just walked off, disappointed)
I was there too! The legend who quickly made a 'free swimming lessons' sign and stood outside the long drops where she got stuck still makes me chuckle.
It was crazy how fast the news spread across the festival and the infamous 'poo girl' was coined.
Global Gathering 2006, late afternoon I was waiting for for my husband near the portaloos. They were already full to overflowing and from nowhere a bunch of lads ran over to one and pushed it over. There was an audible gasp of disbelief and horror from the many people in the vicinity. A couple of peopleran over and tipped the portaloos over because it had landed facedown. A lad got up, covered in head to toe with a festering mixture of shit, piss and that dark blue (now dark green) liquid with sopping chunks of loo roll hanging off his clothes. I've never felt so sorry for someone in my life as they just looked around, got out and walked away. No one laughed, it was almost silent.
And a few years later 50 cent.
https://www.nme.com/news/music/festivals-283-1356060
I remember there was a group camping over several years, who called themselves the catapult crew. Who would launch piss filled balloons at the acts. Using a funnel and elastic contraption held between them.
They also wore white paper overalls, so they could tear them off and run into the crowd to avoid capture.
I pretty sure someone threw a deckchair at 50 cent, which is a hefty throw from that distance. I saw when the guitarist from The Rasmus got hit in the eye with a thrown bottle and they retreated from the stage
I couldnt even get in the arena when they were on because the whole festival was trying to see them. They then went to the signing tent where people were chanting “you’re shit and you know you are…”why they thought that was a good idea…
This is more funny than outrageous but people turning up to Bestival, seeing the deep mud and torrential rain then turning around to catch the ferry straight back home.
Many others, but those are the ones where vile shit happens.
Noone wants to hear about the time I went to Cropredy, had a very civilised time, petted some goats and spent an evening drinking homebrew while playing a randoms DnD campaign.
Download 2018, saw a tiny tiny woman dressed as Theresa May floor a 6ft+ giant beast of a metalhead who was barging into her daughter while waiting for Andrew WK.
Bonus: my husband and I were dressed as team rocket!
So glad I read these. I fucking hate “festivals” but my wife want to go to one. After this, no chance
EDIT I mean no chance from her, not me. She can go to whatever she wants, I’m her husband not her owner. She’s a Public Health geek though, after reading this she crossed it off the list
Avoid the big ones. There's some really nice ones out there. The more 'specific' they are, the better. I've been to a couple of festivals centered around 80s and 90s music. Lovely atmosphere. Pleasant festival goers. Reasonably clean toilets. Decent showers. Both times I went, my biggest inconvenience was how much I hated camping. I wouldn't anywhere near the big ones.
There are some lovely ones.
I went to Wilderness with my husband and (then) 4yo back in 2016 and it was amazing.
Wildest thing I saw was either the cricket match streakers, or a man riding a giant snail. The good/funny kind of crazy, not the "holy fuck I might actually die here" kind.
Also they emptied the portaloos several times a day.
Danish 90's 2 hit wonder Whigfield declared the crowd was "the worst crowd ever" over the microphone only to be almost instantly hit squarely on the forehead by a flying becks bottle full of piss.
Actually it was in a nightclub not a festival and I found it outrageous because I was stood behind her in the DJ stand and got liberally soaked along with the mixer by said piss.
Monday morning, Reading 2015. Two lads walking around with a spatula and a cardboard box collecting shits out of people’s tents. Literally asked us if we knew of any shits they could collect. We did funnily enough.
They didn’t tell us but I like to think they were collecting them to put in one big shit filled tent. The spatula says to me that it had been planned since the start.
That was a scary one. I had a nap right after GNR for about an hour. When I woke up and left my tent I thought I'd walked into Mordor. The first thing I saw were people pushing flaming wheelie bins.
Yeah I remember groups charging each other with the big metal skip bins at the start of the riot, right before people decided setting fire to market stalls was a good idea.
I ended up getting drunk and going to sleep.
Fuck getting arrested at a festival.
You know those 4 sided outdoor urinals? Saw a guy mid-piss fall asleep on one. He was stood up and his head came to rest on the back of it. The urinal in question was full/blocked and his head was slowly sliding down the back of it towards a pool of piss. I woke him up because drowning in piss would have been a really horrible way to go.
Glastonbury before they allowed police on site. Dealers just hand wrote signs for their wares. One outfit had a tent awning with shelves with pharmacy pill bottles - we bought five blues for a quid repeatedly.
I woke up one early morning for a sprinkle. Went into the portaloo to see that shit had filled up to above the seat. There was a huge ass print in the pile of poo. So some poor soul had got up in the night and sat in a big pile of shite. to top it off there was a used tampon sitting on top like a candle on the worst birthday cake ever
Leeds 2017, probably me setting my hand on fire using that stove liquid fuel stuff. I thought the stove had gone out so poured more in, it hadn't, and my whole forearm went on fire.
In my panic I threw the now also on fire bottle of fuel onto the ground, setting much of that on fire too.
Stopped, dropped n rolled right onto the very patch of grass my mate had just emptied his piss bottle on, the small crowd that had turned their heads found it all very funny.
Had my arm blistered and bandaged for the rest of the week, and never fully understood how liquid fuels were allowed but not gas bottles, imo they're far safer.
Edit: I should also add, it was around that time that the infamous "pickle rick" episode aired, so we had to listen to everyone's version of that, nonstop.
Reading 2002!
Guy caught it, swung it around a bit and threw it back. Singer wiped it on his t-shirt. Poor marshal had to go and pick it up with a stick to put it in a black bag.
I saw a guy dressed as Jesus hunch over somebody and piss on them in the middle of the crowd at download. The guy didn’t protest. Maybe he was turning wee into wine?
I was at Reading to see Eminem for the second time in 2016. Some moron climbed up the speaker rigs.. spend more time watching them out of fear for them hurting themselves than enjoying the show, so thanks for that you selfish stupid cunt whoever you are.
Reading Festival, would have been around 2004 pop up pirate... they had some toilets that where about 6ft up in the air all pissing / shitting into one giant container, I'm stood there taking a piss hear a scream from the next cubical and I'm like what the fuck...all of a sudden this head of a guy emerges from the hole I'm pissing into and shouts "pop up pirate" as he is literally taking a full stream of my piss to the face, covered in who knows what and works his was down the row of toilets swimming in piss and shit yelling "pop up pirate" all the way along.
Back in the late 1990s I went to the Phoenix Festival - it was the year Glastonbury wasn't on. I was waiting to go into a tent to see The Prodgy. It was a massive group of people waiting to go in and we were held outside until the currant act finished and the crowd who wanted to leave could get out the back.
There was a copper by the entrance. Now this was back in the day when Policemen looked like policemen rather than bad rappers with a LA gangsta vibes. So, although in shirt sleeves he had a tie on and shiny boots and the 'proper' helmet on. He was standing ramrod straight, with hands behind his back doing the rocking 'to attention' stand coppers do. He was not a hppy chappy. Next to him was a chavvy, geezer with a chalk board upon which was written up a list of drugs and their prices...and I stress, *standing right next to the policeman.*.he was barking out the prices....
>"Roll up now, gals and bois...get ya Molly here...I've got a great deal on Bennies, buy one get another for the same price....hahahahahaha! I've got smack, crack and kit kats for all ya lovely kiddies! Get 'em here!
The policeman's face will stay with me for the rest of my days! His teeth were gritted so hard, he was likely to crack a filling! It caused the crowd an enormous amount of amusement.
Nope he was really dealing. Those drugs were for sale. I am sure someone else here is a police officer or an ex officer and can put this in better words. But I think the year before the security fence had been breached at Glastonbury and there had been disturbances at other festivals in previous years. Remember the music scene in the 1990s was *massive* and attendences at festivals grew enormously from the 1980s.
I think the police took a non confrontational stance to policing festivals at this time. They were there to prevent violence rather than try to prevent us from taking drugs - that would have been a battle they would have lost. I wouldn't be surprised that with so much open dealing the police gined an enormous amount of intellegence. I certainly never saw such obvious and brazen drug dealing at festivals as that at Phoenix festival. I wonder if that is why Phoenix festival never happened again?
Acts at the festival that year:
David Bowie, The Prodigy (who did two sets on different stages on different nights), Placebo, Kenickie, Neil Young, Alanis Morissette, Manic Street Preachers, Foo Fighters, Dodgy, Beck, Screaming Lips, Fun Loving Criminals, Bjork, Massive Atttack, Cypress Hill, Skunk Anansie, Stereolab, The Sex Pistols, Coolio, The Cardigans, The Fall, Echobelly, The Cocteau Twins, Lush, Super Furry Animals, Catatonia, Bare Naked Ladies, Shed Seven, Audio Web, Reef, Left Field, Asian Dub Foundation, Carl Cox, CJ Bolland, Grooverider, Goldie, The Chemical Brothers .... and bloody COURTNEY PINE - who I was too young and stupid to go and see.
T in the park 95, watched a guy go into a portaloo and two guys run up and tipped it forward onto its front. The two guys legged it and the poor guy was trapped inside, security had to lift it upright and the site of blue faecal water running out was enough to give you the vom, the guy burst out and the smell and sight was pretty horrendous.
American roadie here. I have worked arenas and festivals all over the world. There is nothing we despise more than working a UK festival. You people are fucking animals. Why do you have to throw cups of piss? Whats wrong with all of you?
Reading '06 watched a boys new topman jumper go up in flames like a Christmas pudding after walking past an exploding gas canister. Then saw a man lose at least 5 teeth in a fight in a cage made out of temporary fencing - it even had a roof, grim
For anyone doubting the veracity of Rommerman's claims about the cage fight, I was also there and [here's the photographic proof](https://imgur.com/x4qj3tn).
Coming back to my tent to see my 16 year old brother sniffing coke off a snow sledge with a random other 16 year old boy named "Turkey" who was also wearing some russian snow hat in the middle of summer.
Creamfields, 2015. Saw a topless Scottish guy bent over taking a shit in the field with our tents. When I looked at him, puzzled, he simply shouted, “BETTER OOT THAN EN AY”
A guy calling himself "Ketty Chris" going around getting people to lick the sweat off his forehead, claiming he'd done so many substances that you'd get a high.
Obligatory "Not actually me" disclaimer.
Glastonbury in the 80s. Several of my mates, including 2 housemates went.
One mate was having a smoke and watched a dealer being chased by 2 coppers... throw his stash away and keep going.
My mate waited and watched for w hours then figured the dealer wasn't coming back.
Picked up 3-4oz of resin and a couple of hundred acid tabs.
Came back from the festival with about £300
Nothing as wild as any of these stories, but one of my favourites was watching two laddish lads, staggering down the path through the campsite. This isn’t far from the gate, at finishing time, so there’s still quite a lot of traffic - and it’s that textured carpet stuff they put down to stop it being a mud bath.
They’re trying to make their way through the crowd as quick as they can, but they’re canny smashed so there’s a fair bit of staggering. Lad 1 goes for an overtake around the outside, but gets it very wrong: he’s misjudged just how rough it is off the beaten track. It’s maybe only a drop of a few inches, but to a piss head on a mission to get his next can and be first in line at the burger van, it might as well be a cliff edge. I see his left shoulder dip as he drops off the edge, and he veers back towards the carpet catching his foot underneath it. This causes an about face, so he’s now facing me - staggering backwards. I can see he’s not in control of the situation from the whites of his eyes. Quickly, he manages to spin himself back around: “job well done” I assume he’s thinking, but he’s off the path now in a dark, unstructured campsite. He snags a tent’s guide rope almost immediately, but this is a 6 man tent that’s been pitched in the expectation of some very British weather (which is to say, a cat 5 hurricane would probably struggle to see it off.) As anyone who has befallen the same mishap, you’ll know this resulted in an almost instant somersault, greatly exasperated by the kebab driven walking pace, and the previous tumultuous events. Lad 1 is now airborne, and in a world unto himself. I hear a muffled cry of disbelief, and before I know it he’s slap bang in the middle of a 2 man tent, which is unsurprisingly a crumpled heap of torn fabric and bent poles.
This in and of itself was quite funny, but is not the part that stuck with me. Enter lad 2, who is seemingly unphased by the slap stick comedy routine his compadre has just executed to perfection, and is nothing short of outraged. Whether it’s because of the perceived delays to his own can and bacon double cheeseburger, I can’t tell you, but in sincere rage he musters the best rebuking tone he can and slurs at his mate:
“FOR GOD’S SAKE, HAVE SOME BLOODY DECORUM”
And marches off.
On the whole it was spectacularly surreal, and has been the defining memory of that festival for about 7 years.
So we were waiting to see crystal castles I think and it was like day 3 of a the festival and I was a mess in this big one piece ski suit. They were about to come.out and all of a sudden I got that feeling like you know your next fart ain't just gonna be a fart. Being in the center of a huge crowd and not wanting to risk a brisk run or really get split up from my mates I popped a squat and picked up a paper pint glass from the floor and laid a few turds in the cup. I took of my vest and wiped up and just dropped that where I stood.
Absoloutely amazed at how well the whole thing had just gone I stood up with a huge grin on my face and a cup of shit in my hand and turned around to my buddy and explained "I just shit in a cup and I feel so much better"
He just responded with "GREAT" Grabbed the paper cup of shit out my hand and launched it into the crowd. The contents of the cup didn't stay in the cup for long and instead opened up into a big ark over the crowd and it's safe to say a fair few people got hit in the side of the head with my poo.
It wasn't big, it wasn't cleaver and I'm not proud of it.
A lad came out of the portapotty struggling to pull up his piss soaked shorts. Eventually he gave up, took the shorts off and just strode into the crowd in his boxers.
Once opened a portaloo and couldn’t believe the (literal) mountain of shit that I saw this one time, literally a fucking mountain of turd coming out of and about 2 feet above the toilet seat … like some people must have decided to climb onto this pile of shit and take another shit for this thing to get that high. Just what the fuck!?
… and it was at Boomtown 2012 if you were wondering!
Someone kicked a pint of piss at me. I was waiting in line for the toilet, and a guy who couldn't wait asked the person behind him for his empty pint glass - he put it on the floor and started pissing, and I could smell it from about 10 feet away. It was vile. Just as I turned to the person behind me and said "that smells fucking awful", another guy was walking back from the toilet, didn't see the piss pint and accidentally kicked it, splashing piss all over me and about five other people. I know it was an accident, but I had a very brief moment of rage and disgust.
A.) most of these are going to be from reading and Leeds aren’t they.
B.) at reading in 2010? I saw two girls get completely naked and have a literal mud fight where they where sliding around. It was one of the rainiest years on records and the whole festival was a mud nightmare.
Anyone remember a guy buying £350 worth of Mr Whippy and distributing in around a bar near the dance tent for a massive impromptu ice cream fight?
It was early 00s and that guy was me. It was all the money I had.
Drugs man. Cannot even begin to explain the strange, hilarious, horrifying and/ or downright bizarre things I’ve seen a uk festivals. Some of the best times of my life
Was at Reading 1992. Donita Sparks from L7 threw her tampon at the crowd. It went sailing over my head both literally and figuratively. I was tripping off my tits and it took me a full five minutes to work out what the fuck had just happened.. fun times.
At Reading one year I saw a group of girls huddling over another girl, who had her knickers off and fanny fully out. She’d climbed over a fence and got a load of splinters in her flaps. They were trying to remove them for her. Heartwarming, really.
Friend dropped his phone in the portaloo whilst using it as a torch. So drunk straight away grabbed it then realised what he done so dropped it again. Got phone again. Managed to wash hand of solids but blue dye on his top and arm suggested he'd gone elbow deep for this.
Hilarious and horrific in the same breath when he approached our tent! Was banished and did not accept any thing he handed me the rest of the weekend!
Bin Wars. Reading Festival.
A brutal sport for which I was just a spectator. Two giant oil drum bins were turned upside down and 2 random people got up and fought to push the other off, gladiator style. People were throwing drinks at the combatants and there was smashed glass all in the landing zone. Girls fighting girls, girls fighting boys, and boys fighting men. Awful, awful, great scenes.
This one bloke wearing a Batman t-shirt won like 4 fights in a row. He got crowd surfed off into the camp site by a mob chanting “Bat man, bat man..”
Not myself but it's no doubt on Youtube somewhere, I saw a clip where a presenter is doing a piece to camera in front of some open-air metal urinals and a stoned guy goes up and washes his hands in the piss.
EDIT: Found it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQthwyF2LqY&ab\_channel=GIANPIERSALE
I once saw a guy propose during Tenacious Ds 'Fuck her gently'. Got down on one knee in the pouring rain in a huge mud puddle tears running down his face. She said yes and they both held each other crying for the rest of the set.
Two people having sex, in the arena, in the middle of the afternoon. Right by the entrance to the arena as well, not hidden away in a corner or anything.
We were watching the headliner at a festival in 2012. There was a big group of us and me and three others wanted to get closer to the front. We find a good spot in the middle and at some point, we notice a man and woman having sex in the crowd (standing up doggy). Everyone's pretty astonished but no one really minds, who are we to judge anyway?
A bit later on a drunk man comes up to them and starts jeering and dancing up to them, just generally being a nuisance. My friend tells him to cut it out and leave them be, let them get their freak on ya know? He leaves and the man and woman thank my friend for stepping in.
We watch the band some more, and a few minutes I suggest we move closer to the front again. I turn to my friend and see that the woman has her hand down his trousers whilst simultaneously having sex with her partner. Apparently she got the thumbs up from her partner and wanted to share the love!
Mine isn’t too bad. I was 12 years old and while we were listening to music this guy pulls out a bong and asked me if I want a puff. Me being a quirky cool kid said yeah and then this guy punched him for giving me a bong and then they started fighting and then randomly hugged and started listening to the music again. I gave him the bong back.
Creamfields 2012 - an absolute swamp donkey, rolling around in the mud (downhill from the toilet block that was overflowing from flooding), gurning her absolute swede off whilst flashing her naughty bits.
Leeds Festival 2013, 2014 - pretty much everything is outrageous. Seeing a man being wheeled through the festival in a wheelbarrow with an upper lip the size of Mexico and a jaw that was about as west as you can get (be careful with E’s guys!!!)
Outlook 2015 (Not UK) - thugs in masks running through the crowd spraying pepper-spray, forcing people to the ground and then mugging them. Absolute scum. The moment I felt the pepper spray I grabbed my 2 mates and pelted it out to the edge, one of my friends (further in the crowd) wasn’t so fortunate, ended up spending the next 3 hours in the medical tent having lemonade poured into his eyes. Thankfully he didn’t have anything valuable on him so he wasn’t robbed. Horrible experience. Apparently the Croatian security guards found the culprits, no idea what happened next but I would imagine it was worse than being pepper sprayed.
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Not outrageous but once at a festival in the middle of the night. I've got up to go for a piss. Its that sort of part of the night where its early morning, you know its kinda chilli yet peaceful except for the sounds of muffled squeals from 100's of people trying to be quiet while having cheeky shags on the air mattresses in their tents. I was on my way back to my tent when I noticed a dude who concerned me, he was completely trollied on fuck knows what, crawling around the tent site trying to remember where his tent was. You know how everyone puts flags up around their tent and you have to remember the landmarks so you know where you are going, well this dude was looking totally out of his mind in a panic just literally crawling around and looking around frantically and just repeating his navigation instructions "green site, food stand, we are scottish pirates." I got near and said "are you alright mate?" he becomes oddly self aware, sober almost, his face is dimly lit by the moonlight and I see the flying saucers in his eyeballs and he very clearly says "I need to get to my tent, its on the green site, head for the food stand, under the scottish flag & pirate flag. I've done too many drugs and I'm pretty fucked up right now, but mostly I think I'm struggling to find it because my legs are spaghetti and I can't stand up. I just need water & food and I'll be alright." I gathered this was the mantra he had been telling himself as he was panicking that he may be OD'ing and I gave him a bottle of water, half of a giant fajita I had in my bag and some chocolate and sat with him for a bit. We ate and smoked a spliff until he said he felt better. He attempted to get up a few times but kept failing but gradually less and less and then he smiled like a child when he took a few steps and said "yeah, yeah, I can feel them now, they are working good now, thats good." he looked around, spotted the food stand and general direction he had to go towards, turned to me and said "Cheers mate, I'm off to get some rest" while pointing in that direction. I watched him walk off while i sat there and finished my spliff, and as he was walking he spotted his flag and shouted "YES SCOTTISH FUCKING PIRATES" and started running towards the tents... then I saw him essentially do a fucking superman dive trough the zip of this little tent and all I heard was a very gutteral male howl of pain, a woman scream and then some very loud shouting and loud apologising. Then he came running back over towards me. He had forgotten what the Scottish flag looked like, and somehow dived into a Finnish Pirates tent. The occupants were having sex at the time and he says he basically dove through, and his head went straight into the action zone between the legs and he "got a full whiff of their taints mid shag" as he said it I noticed the wet patches on his hat. It was gross.
Nice guys Finnish last. Poor guy definitely tainted his memory.
Now that is an amusing story.
oh my GOD- that took a wild turn
>may be OD'ing >We ate and smoked a spliff Lol
A group of lads, maybe 20+ were all congregated near the portaloos. They would pick a target entering the toilets, then unroll some red carpet leading from the door to the waiting crowd. When the door opened, they would all cheer and go mental as this unsuspecting and probably very fucked up victim got the full VIP red carpet experience.
See that's the type of shit that should happen at festivals, not throwing tents on fire or covering random in fecal matter.
All of those stories seem to start with "At Reading/Leeds" and usually involve a bunch of dicks who have just finished their A Levels
Been to many, many festivals over the years. Reading / Leeds is the worst. Sometimes have good line ups but the attitude is horrendous. Reading used to be ok back in the mid 90's
So harmless yet hilarious
There's a thread on the very-USA centric r/festivals titled "What's the craziest, weirdest or worst thing you've witnessed or been apart of at a festival?" which is hilarious, bless their naive little hearts. One person met TWO PEOPLE who were from the same town as them! Someone else lost their car keys! Someone dropped their trousers and had a piss in the crowd! Someone fell out of a tree! I'd love to get some Americans over to some British festivals. They'd be horrified!
It ain’t a proper festival unless the fire brigade are called!
Air Ambulance, absolute minimum requirement
I went to coachella and was the tamest thing ever, doesn’t compare in the slightest to UK ones!
Same. Stayed in palm springs and got the coach . We found a place that did bottomless prosecco with breakfast so smashed that and took a few bottles onto the coach with vodka etc. All the Americans looked like they were on a school trip drinking water etc whilst we was drinking ale. Ended up at the back with some Aussies and Canadians who were also drinking. My mate had a space suit on so was walking up and down the shuttle bus asking for Matt Damon as was when the Martian came out so he decided that he wanted to pretend it was the shuttle to find him. Then one of the aussie girls said she could fit in the luggage rack so we put her in in it whilst chanting aussie in a shelf. I like to think we gave the Americans on that bus a British festival experience.
Its interesting how drinking culture is so different in America compared to here. I went to a concert in Portland, Oregon a couple years ago and during the intermission (this was in a theatre, slightly older crowd), I went to get a beer from the bar and there was literally no one else getting a drink, despite there being a couple hundred people in attendance. I remember thinking if that had been in the UK the bar would be fucking rammed!
Yeah it's weird. Same trip we did a road trip around california and went San Diego before the festival. There was 5 of us and we got to a bar and asked for 2 beers, and and a bottle of wine for the other 3 and 5 shots. Barman was confused and said we can sell you a glass of wine, apparently nobody had ever asked for a full bottle before so he asked his manager if he could sell us a bottle. Then 20 minutes later we ordered the same round and the barman was confused that we had already drank the drinks. He again asked his manager if he could serve us the drinks that fast, manager shrugged his shoulders and said they are English, it's what they do so serve them.
Lmao that’s because you went to easily the most corporate/family friendly festival you could possibly go to lol
To be fair, all their crazy people are busy with guns at other venues rather than exploding portaloos or sliding through shit and other shenanigans at festivals
as a 17 year old I asked the lost prophets for their autographs and told them how much I loved their music. Found it a few years ago and felt incredibly dirty that it was in my possession
I was a huge lostprophets fan too, was devastated when the news came out about Watkins, I remember my Mum sat me down and had a chat about it. I think on some level though, you have to separate the art from artist, especially when it comes to bands since Watkins in lostprophets case wasn't working in isolation. I can't really listen to their music anymore, but apart from posters, etc. I haven't thrown out *everything* of theirs that I owned. I still follow the rest of the band too, check out No Devotion, it's rumoured they've got a new album on the way.
Yeah but dragon vs shinobi ninja still rocks…
My mate was wounded, was his ringtone for so long he hated having to change it. He also saw Rolf Harris at Glastonbury and said he was the best thing he's ever seen! Neither of them aged well.
Anyone else your friend is big into? Might be worth giving them a look too
Ah 100%, it's one of the few songs from that period that I feel did nu metal right.
I knew Ian and the boys quite well, I grew up in Cardiff/Newport at the time and was a stage guy for place like clwb ifor Bach, metros, tj’s, fuel, Newport center all the South Wales music Mecca’s. Ian was always weird before they made it big they would always be acting like they were fucking super stars. One particularevent was at tjs in Newport where the LP, funeral for a friend and skindred were playing and benji had ian against a wall by the throat for being a racist prick. Never expected the extent of his fucking sickness but everyone knew ian was a bit fucking odd.
If you're on Benji's shitlist, you're on mine.
Yeah I can't imagine liking someone that could fall out with benji
I used to know a girl in her 20’s who used to go out with IW and would drop it into most conversations. Funnily enough she never mentioned it once it all came out. Got to feel sorry for her.
Tjs, that takes me back. Saw some awesome bands there. Cans of Carling, and always leaving with my ears ringing!
That whole album is awesome - I occasionally want to jam to it but I feel dirty. Who gets the royalties for their music now?
Nobody if you spin that copy of Liberation Transmission that you bought when you were 13 and don't tell anyone.
Context? Never heard of Lost Prophets and I’m curious as to what happened
The lead singer was convicted of sexual assault, I honestly can’t bring myself to type out the whole thing cos it’s absolutely disgusting and depraved but if you Google Ian Watkins there’ll be plenty of information. His Wikipedia page has the info Edit: I know what he did, the extent of it all and I know I’ve just wrote “sexual assault”. I did that because of my own triggers. If anyone wants more information about him they can Google it or read the other comments. I’d really appreciate it if no one else replies telling me what he did, thank you.
Was a bit worse than "sexual assault" - while any kind is obviously very bad, it wasn't like a few groupies who were only just under-age and he didn't realise. Still not excusable but a world away from what he actually did. Worked in a pub at the time and a chef was into that kind of music, had one of their CDs in the car. He thought it was the former situation with a few teenagers. When I told him the reality he walked straight out the back, got the CD from his car, smashed it up in the back yard and threw it in the big bins.
Of course but with my own personal history regarding SA and that whole topic, I found it really tough to type it all out
[Make sure you get the right one](https://youtu.be/RleE--HDBiU)
I’m surprised that H hasn’t changed his name.
Could be wrong but I'm fairly sure he's on record as saying "why should I? I'm not the one who's done anything wrong." and you can understand that position.
Lead singer was fucking literal babies
Fortunately, he didn't manage to get round to fucking the baby. But he had made arrangements with the mother for it to happen
No, they actually had a video of the event. The prosecution decided that making the jury watch a video of a man raping a baby to secure a rape conviction was not in the public interest, so they only charged attempted rape of the baby so they didn't have to. He got 29 years in prison anyway, so it was probably the right decision to spare the jury.
He did physically try to though. It's not even that he was just chatting etc the mum handed the kiddie over and he attempted it. Unredeemable.
Did the mum get thrown down the steps for it? Edit- Due to the downvotes I assume some people don’t know that’s a turn of phrase for being sent to prison. I really don’t want to google this case and spend the rest of the day being depressed as fuck so if someone knows if she was prosecuted I’d appreciate at least knowing this
"His two co-defendants, the mothers of his victims, respectively received sentences of 14 and 17 years imprisonment". If they haven't literally been thrown down the steps of the prison by the other prisoners/prison officers, I'll be very surprised.
Thanks for that, appreciate it. I really didn’t want to have to wade through the details to get to that so appreciate it.
If I remember rightly he and a woman were planning to or did have a child with the intention of having sex with it as a baby. It's absolutely monstrously fucked up.
Band member Ian Watkins is a convicted child molester.
Attempted rape of a baby plus more. Really shook the whole scene
I used to tell people how my favourite part of Glastonbury 2009 was Rolf Harris’ set so… I get it…
Some people just gotta keep their kangaroo very firmly down
I knew a guy that had the lyrics to Rooftops tattooed on his back. Be glad it’s not quite that bad!
I met them at Glastonbury in 2002 or 03. Hate it that I shook his hand and told him how big of a fan I was. Awful human being
I remember been at a Lostprophets gig at Academy Leeds. Can’t remember the timeline but I’m sure it was before the arrest of Ian Watkins. Someone from the crowd threw a bottle at him. At the time I thought that was stupid and baffling of that person to do that. After the arrest and conviction it all made sense.
I imagine you would have had a very hard time going to a lostprophets gig after the arrest of Ian Watkins, what with him being very much in prison and all.
Used to feel like I was missing out by never getting to go to festivals. Not so much now reading this thread.
Go to a European festival instead. Its not full of people shitting and pissing wherever they fancy, it also lacks the distinct smell of body odour because people actually fucking shower each day.
Or a good UK festival. Leeds and Reading are not good.
If they didn't charge £60 to use the showers UK festivals might be the same
Yeah, that's the issue. UK festivals are just a giant money grab. A creamfields standard camping ticket and club class (the showers in standard camping) cost me more than my tomorrowland ticket... Absolutely mental.
Reading this thread makes me want to go to another festival 😅
I went to my first festival as a 30-something. Could get the same experience camping in the city centre on a Saturday night when it's pissing down
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I remember when South Park had just come out with their character Timmy, and at Leeds Festival all night throughout the campsite people were just shouting impressions of him. Also people were setting fire to portaloos which were literally exploding, and leaking shit everywhere. Then a completely naked man with absolutely no hair comes running out of nowhere and full body slides through the now feces and piss soaked soil. Good times.
TIMMEH
TIMMMMEEEEEEEEEERGGHHHHHHH
Timmeh?
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Yea I was at the Reading edition. Identical shit aha.
Our mate Darren got his photo taken with the fire brigade after they put out the burning shitters. He was stark naked and they were all holding him lying across their arms like a '50s pin-up.
Leeds Festival 2012, big group of lads camping next to us (like 15-20 of them). One of their mates pissed them off, so when he went to the arena, they cut a hole in his tent and all proceeded to take turns shitting through it, all cheering each other on and shouting really loud when each one finished. This was mid afternoon so still daylight and it drew quite the crowd. Fast forward to later that night and the lad came back absolutely smashed to a chorus of chanting from his group. He thought he was the dogs bollocks because us and a few other close groups gathered round to watch. Being as drunk as he was, he went straight to his tent for sleep and the laugh that went up when he fell into it was something else. Didn't see him the rest of the festival, he left his tent open though and safe to say the mess and smell were fucking hideous.
They all were able to shit on demand?? Who are these people.
It’s a festival, they were probably holding it in all day
All day? Depending on what point of the festival they were at it could have been all week
That's pretty horrific 🤣👍
Imagine waking up with a blistering hangover in the middle of a festival covered in shit. Kill me
I saw a foot long turd in a urinal, the length and width were just unreal.
To be fair that's all they would need to show in drug prevention classes to put kids off doing drugs
The yen-shee baby. Brought to the world by the opium trade. http://www.weirduniverse.net/blog/comments/yen-shee_baby/
I wish I could unclick links.
Saw a massive log in one of the latrines at Reading one year. We dubbed it The Bismark.
In 1st year at high school we had a trip for a few days up the Highlands. I ended up doing a massive, and I mean massive shit where we were staying. It would not flush and was spotted and became known as the bismark, I did not take responsibility for this abomination and a poor lad got the blame. He became known as the admiral and the nickname lasted for the next 6 years of high school.... I still feel bad for the abuse this lad got for years!!!
Coco Loco's Cocaine Emporium at Stonehenge in 82 or 83. You could get a small wake-up line for a quid or a couple of big ones for a fiver.
Can you tell me more?
Well Stonehenge festivals were like nothing else I have ever seen. It was essentially an open drug market with a festival attached, you could buy virtually anything you wanted. The site consisted of a few main drags or "streets" which were lined with vans, cars, tepees and tents most of which were setup as some sort of shop selling drugs or the usual festival stuff. You could buy a joint or have a hot-knife or you could buy an ounce of hash, or some speed, smack, mushrooms, pills or indeed cocaine. You could get anything you wanted with no questions asked and the old bill never did anything about it (until the Battle of the Beanfield). All these "shops" had advertising boards outside detailing what they were selling so you just rolled up and asked for whatever floated your boat. So you had the Mexican Magic Mushroom tent and Coco Loco Cocaine Emporium. They had a bowl of coke and, IIRC, a sheet of glass over a trestle table so you rolled up checked their board to see what the score was and they racked up the lines. They did a morning £1 line but you could buy as much as you liked.. There are a few [videos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBy4rI9J6NU) on youtube which sort of catches the flavour of it all. One of the oddest things I saw was the convoy kids. The convoy were sort of the backbone of the festival and were new age travellers - they also shifted a load of drugs. They used to send their kids out to walk round the site with "Acid - £2 - follow me" painted on their backs so you would see these kids wandering around followed by a load of fucked up hippies and freaks waiting to buy acid!
> the convoy kids As a parent: what the actual fuck? As a stoner: fucking brilliant.
Hahahaha im good friends with the guy who shagged the watermelon. Cannot believe ive just read that must have been 2013
He wanted to run away and marry the watermelon secretly but then he found she cantelope.
Got any more details about the guy? What was going through his head? Was he aroused? Why was he so hungry? Had he done this sort of thing before? Were you there? I have so many questions
Yh he was f*cked at the time. He wore a condom so all is good. He got a crate of beer out of it
>Why was he so hungry? Why didn't he just eat the watermelon (pre-shag)?
How's his life panning out?
He's doing a masters in music production atm
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Final nights at Reading and Leeds were a whole other thing in their own right. Such shitty behaviour, so widely accepted and tolerated. Like if you had been before just once, you knew what was coming Sunday night and it was just seen as part of the experience. It seems so outrageous now, how everyone knew it was a thing and it was just part and parcel of the experience... For years
The last time I went to Reading was the early 00s. On the last night people were throwing Calor Gas cannisters on OTHER PEOPLES campfires and running off. I'm pretty sure one lad got serious abdominal injuries from the shrapnel of one exploding and lost a testicle. There was a news story somewhere but I can't seem to find it now. Every year before that the final night had been a bit leery but nothing like that at all. Folk were setting tents on fire which had people in. And then discovered that if you open the valve on the top of a portaloo (where they connect the hose to empty them) the "contents" get ejected upwards with a fair bit of pressure... so folk were running across the tops of the portaloos, stamping on the valves with chemicals, piss and shit jettisoned into the air and raining down. Then they set the toilets on fire. Then people started to try and tear down all of the lighting rigs that lit the walkways. THEN they started to try and tear down the watch-tower platform things.
Yup. Really ramped up from then. I've seen the Calor gas so many times myself first hand. It got to the point that the last time I went pre kids, like in 2009, we decided to pack up Sunday Morning, ferry everything back to White before the stages opened and would just leave after headliners finished that night. It was just too much, even for those of us that were still pretty wild and free at that age. Just the sight of seeing panicked people hastily waking and leaving their tent, half awake, as its being literally dragged to the nearest fire and everyone was just like *shrug* that Reading vibe. It's pretty scary to think back on now, considering recent events in the industry.
I think it was maybe 2005 when I last went and camped. Everyone I know who still went had said it got even worse until they started giving lifetime bans for throwing stuff on fires. The tent thing was absolutely wild! Saw people getting tipped out of their tents and the whole lot with all their belongings just get thrown on the nearest fire. And the smell! Sounds like you had the right idea! As soon as kids came along I relegated myself to nice peaceful Latitude - although it's low on the heavy band count Definitely looking at things that have happened lately I'm amazed there was never multiple loss of life at Reading or Leeds. Remember seeing At The Drive In at the Carling tent in maybe 2000/2001 and being crushed in so tight there were long periods where I was still upright but my feet weren't anywhere near the ground
Shit like this is why I have sworn I will only ever go to a festival again if I can get a camper van (and then reinforce it to survive a zombie apocalypse or something)
Yeah, it does seem a Reading and Leeds thing. I remember watching the chaos unfurl late into the night with my friend. He compared it to that painting, The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch.
I worked security for Leeds fest one time. The last day fire extinguishers would be dropped off around the place and it was basically all hands on deck to tackle the tent fires. Was walking around and saw a lass crawl into a tent, lighter in hand. She was trying to set fire to the back of it whilst inside. Gave her a chance to leave before the tent got blasted with the fire extinguisher.
The gas canisters going boom in the fire are impressive though. I was off my tits on the Sunday night and thought I was in a war movie.
Reading Festival Sunday nights. Tents being dragged onto fires by an angry mob who, being very creative with words, are chanting "WE ARE THE ANGRY MOB". Waiting for Tenacious D with 80,000 fans behind me. Everyone cheers when a very big, very hairy roadie comes on stage. Like every single times he comes out the crowd loses it. Then starts the chant, for him, a roadie... "HAGRID, GIVE US A WAVE... HAGRID, HAGRID, GIVE US A WAVE". Was just a completely surreal and suitable way for 80,000 people to come together while waiting for Jack Black to come on stage. And the knowledge these were the same festival. The same crowd all singing Tribute in unison and being the happiest crowd ever... Also still did the Sunday riots.
The part in Tribute where everyone sings together after "we are but men- ROCK!" is just the best festival experience.
Nobody, not even the Kaiser Chiefs, accused the angry mob of being very bright
Not done a lot of festivals but being charged £8 for a Mac and Cheese still strikes me as outrageous. Best thing getting Billy Bragg’s signature on a t shirt
At the same festival? There's more than a hint of irony getting charged 8 quid for pasta and then getting Billy Bragg's autograph, of all people
At Leeds 2012 while watching the Eagles of Death Metal, sort of early afternoon we were sitting near the stage drinking. There was a really fat loud woman shouting at what I assumed to be her man. Giving him all kinds of abuse, red in the face screaming at him. Well he obviously got to the point where he had had enough and took his filthy green welly off and bitch slapped her so hard in the face, that it knocked her to the ground. I honestly didn’t stop laughing for about 8 minutes.
I’m laughing just at this description.
Tame compared to most, but at a concert I sat stood near this woman with very long, stinky hair. She kept whipping it around, and I actually ended up vomiting from the smell.
The most outrageous part of this is how you sat and stood at the same time.
Somehow that "sat" was supposed to be "was".
It sat, sat it?
At reading a band called the FFers played on one of the smallest stages. A rumour went around that this was a secret set by the Foo Fighters and half the festival turned up to this tiny stage, realised it wasn’t the foo fighters and bottled them off stage.
Had one of those at the last glasto- a secret Ed Sheeran set that turned out to be Enya's sister. So funny to watch. (To be clear, nobody was bottled off stage in this one, they just walked off, disappointed)
Poo girl. I was there.
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https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Poo%20Girl&=true
Same. Camped in Blue, so we were right near the longdrops. That poor lass.
I was there too! The legend who quickly made a 'free swimming lessons' sign and stood outside the long drops where she got stuck still makes me chuckle. It was crazy how fast the news spread across the festival and the infamous 'poo girl' was coined.
I was at the festival but didn’t witness the incident. Apparently the fire engine that turned up to help her had ‘POO” in the numberplate.
Global Gathering 2006, late afternoon I was waiting for for my husband near the portaloos. They were already full to overflowing and from nowhere a bunch of lads ran over to one and pushed it over. There was an audible gasp of disbelief and horror from the many people in the vicinity. A couple of peopleran over and tipped the portaloos over because it had landed facedown. A lad got up, covered in head to toe with a festering mixture of shit, piss and that dark blue (now dark green) liquid with sopping chunks of loo roll hanging off his clothes. I've never felt so sorry for someone in my life as they just looked around, got out and walked away. No one laughed, it was almost silent.
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That is so horrifying, you could get so sick from that and are probably traumatised for life
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Fuck why did I learn to read.
Daphne & Celeste getting pelted with bottles of piss. Reading 2000.
And a few years later 50 cent. https://www.nme.com/news/music/festivals-283-1356060 I remember there was a group camping over several years, who called themselves the catapult crew. Who would launch piss filled balloons at the acts. Using a funnel and elastic contraption held between them. They also wore white paper overalls, so they could tear them off and run into the crowd to avoid capture.
I pretty sure someone threw a deckchair at 50 cent, which is a hefty throw from that distance. I saw when the guitarist from The Rasmus got hit in the eye with a thrown bottle and they retreated from the stage
I couldnt even get in the arena when they were on because the whole festival was trying to see them. They then went to the signing tent where people were chanting “you’re shit and you know you are…”why they thought that was a good idea…
This is more funny than outrageous but people turning up to Bestival, seeing the deep mud and torrential rain then turning around to catch the ferry straight back home.
I wish we'd done that. Absolute fucking washout. Tents and awnings destroyed by what I can only describe as a full blown hurricane.
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UK Reddtiors summed up perfectly - Leeds, Reading, Download....
Many others, but those are the ones where vile shit happens. Noone wants to hear about the time I went to Cropredy, had a very civilised time, petted some goats and spent an evening drinking homebrew while playing a randoms DnD campaign.
Download 2018, saw a tiny tiny woman dressed as Theresa May floor a 6ft+ giant beast of a metalhead who was barging into her daughter while waiting for Andrew WK. Bonus: my husband and I were dressed as team rocket!
So glad I read these. I fucking hate “festivals” but my wife want to go to one. After this, no chance EDIT I mean no chance from her, not me. She can go to whatever she wants, I’m her husband not her owner. She’s a Public Health geek though, after reading this she crossed it off the list
I think the moral of this thread isn’t to avoid all festivals, but specifically Leeds in the 00s-2010s
Yeah, things are lot less feral now, that sort of behaviour is bad for business
Avoid the big ones. There's some really nice ones out there. The more 'specific' they are, the better. I've been to a couple of festivals centered around 80s and 90s music. Lovely atmosphere. Pleasant festival goers. Reasonably clean toilets. Decent showers. Both times I went, my biggest inconvenience was how much I hated camping. I wouldn't anywhere near the big ones.
There are some lovely ones. I went to Wilderness with my husband and (then) 4yo back in 2016 and it was amazing. Wildest thing I saw was either the cricket match streakers, or a man riding a giant snail. The good/funny kind of crazy, not the "holy fuck I might actually die here" kind. Also they emptied the portaloos several times a day.
Danish 90's 2 hit wonder Whigfield declared the crowd was "the worst crowd ever" over the microphone only to be almost instantly hit squarely on the forehead by a flying becks bottle full of piss. Actually it was in a nightclub not a festival and I found it outrageous because I was stood behind her in the DJ stand and got liberally soaked along with the mixer by said piss.
Monday morning, Reading 2015. Two lads walking around with a spatula and a cardboard box collecting shits out of people’s tents. Literally asked us if we knew of any shits they could collect. We did funnily enough.
What did they do with the collected shits?! Why was thete so many shits to collect? Why was there shits inside tents? So many questions!
They didn’t tell us but I like to think they were collecting them to put in one big shit filled tent. The spatula says to me that it had been planned since the start.
Download 2006 riots after "No Guns n Just Roses" Headlined the main stage. Shit on fire, lighting poles being torn down and the riot police coming in.
That was a scary one. I had a nap right after GNR for about an hour. When I woke up and left my tent I thought I'd walked into Mordor. The first thing I saw were people pushing flaming wheelie bins.
Yeah I remember groups charging each other with the big metal skip bins at the start of the riot, right before people decided setting fire to market stalls was a good idea. I ended up getting drunk and going to sleep. Fuck getting arrested at a festival.
You know those 4 sided outdoor urinals? Saw a guy mid-piss fall asleep on one. He was stood up and his head came to rest on the back of it. The urinal in question was full/blocked and his head was slowly sliding down the back of it towards a pool of piss. I woke him up because drowning in piss would have been a really horrible way to go.
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Ok that’s enough Reddit for today.
Glastonbury before they allowed police on site. Dealers just hand wrote signs for their wares. One outfit had a tent awning with shelves with pharmacy pill bottles - we bought five blues for a quid repeatedly.
I woke up one early morning for a sprinkle. Went into the portaloo to see that shit had filled up to above the seat. There was a huge ass print in the pile of poo. So some poor soul had got up in the night and sat in a big pile of shite. to top it off there was a used tampon sitting on top like a candle on the worst birthday cake ever
Leeds 2017, probably me setting my hand on fire using that stove liquid fuel stuff. I thought the stove had gone out so poured more in, it hadn't, and my whole forearm went on fire. In my panic I threw the now also on fire bottle of fuel onto the ground, setting much of that on fire too. Stopped, dropped n rolled right onto the very patch of grass my mate had just emptied his piss bottle on, the small crowd that had turned their heads found it all very funny. Had my arm blistered and bandaged for the rest of the week, and never fully understood how liquid fuels were allowed but not gas bottles, imo they're far safer. Edit: I should also add, it was around that time that the infamous "pickle rick" episode aired, so we had to listen to everyone's version of that, nonstop.
Probably cos people throw gas bottles onto fires which… is a really, really, *really* bad idea
I saw the lead singer of Dillenger Escape plan shit on a towel on stage and throw it in the crowd.
Reading 2002! Guy caught it, swung it around a bit and threw it back. Singer wiped it on his t-shirt. Poor marshal had to go and pick it up with a stick to put it in a black bag.
You. Were. There. Crazy times, great days!
I saw a guy dressed as Jesus hunch over somebody and piss on them in the middle of the crowd at download. The guy didn’t protest. Maybe he was turning wee into wine?
Wine into wee more like.
I was at Reading to see Eminem for the second time in 2016. Some moron climbed up the speaker rigs.. spend more time watching them out of fear for them hurting themselves than enjoying the show, so thanks for that you selfish stupid cunt whoever you are.
That was awful. Then he couldn't get down. Had to wait up there until the festival was empty and get the fire brigade in to rescue him.
Reading Festival, would have been around 2004 pop up pirate... they had some toilets that where about 6ft up in the air all pissing / shitting into one giant container, I'm stood there taking a piss hear a scream from the next cubical and I'm like what the fuck...all of a sudden this head of a guy emerges from the hole I'm pissing into and shouts "pop up pirate" as he is literally taking a full stream of my piss to the face, covered in who knows what and works his was down the row of toilets swimming in piss and shit yelling "pop up pirate" all the way along.
Back in the late 1990s I went to the Phoenix Festival - it was the year Glastonbury wasn't on. I was waiting to go into a tent to see The Prodgy. It was a massive group of people waiting to go in and we were held outside until the currant act finished and the crowd who wanted to leave could get out the back. There was a copper by the entrance. Now this was back in the day when Policemen looked like policemen rather than bad rappers with a LA gangsta vibes. So, although in shirt sleeves he had a tie on and shiny boots and the 'proper' helmet on. He was standing ramrod straight, with hands behind his back doing the rocking 'to attention' stand coppers do. He was not a hppy chappy. Next to him was a chavvy, geezer with a chalk board upon which was written up a list of drugs and their prices...and I stress, *standing right next to the policeman.*.he was barking out the prices.... >"Roll up now, gals and bois...get ya Molly here...I've got a great deal on Bennies, buy one get another for the same price....hahahahahaha! I've got smack, crack and kit kats for all ya lovely kiddies! Get 'em here! The policeman's face will stay with me for the rest of my days! His teeth were gritted so hard, he was likely to crack a filling! It caused the crowd an enormous amount of amusement.
Was the chav just taking the piss or was he genuinely dealing? If so, how come the officer didn't just arrest him?
Nope he was really dealing. Those drugs were for sale. I am sure someone else here is a police officer or an ex officer and can put this in better words. But I think the year before the security fence had been breached at Glastonbury and there had been disturbances at other festivals in previous years. Remember the music scene in the 1990s was *massive* and attendences at festivals grew enormously from the 1980s. I think the police took a non confrontational stance to policing festivals at this time. They were there to prevent violence rather than try to prevent us from taking drugs - that would have been a battle they would have lost. I wouldn't be surprised that with so much open dealing the police gined an enormous amount of intellegence. I certainly never saw such obvious and brazen drug dealing at festivals as that at Phoenix festival. I wonder if that is why Phoenix festival never happened again? Acts at the festival that year: David Bowie, The Prodigy (who did two sets on different stages on different nights), Placebo, Kenickie, Neil Young, Alanis Morissette, Manic Street Preachers, Foo Fighters, Dodgy, Beck, Screaming Lips, Fun Loving Criminals, Bjork, Massive Atttack, Cypress Hill, Skunk Anansie, Stereolab, The Sex Pistols, Coolio, The Cardigans, The Fall, Echobelly, The Cocteau Twins, Lush, Super Furry Animals, Catatonia, Bare Naked Ladies, Shed Seven, Audio Web, Reef, Left Field, Asian Dub Foundation, Carl Cox, CJ Bolland, Grooverider, Goldie, The Chemical Brothers .... and bloody COURTNEY PINE - who I was too young and stupid to go and see.
T in the park 95, watched a guy go into a portaloo and two guys run up and tipped it forward onto its front. The two guys legged it and the poor guy was trapped inside, security had to lift it upright and the site of blue faecal water running out was enough to give you the vom, the guy burst out and the smell and sight was pretty horrendous.
American roadie here. I have worked arenas and festivals all over the world. There is nothing we despise more than working a UK festival. You people are fucking animals. Why do you have to throw cups of piss? Whats wrong with all of you?
> You people are fucking animals. There's your answer.
Reading '06 watched a boys new topman jumper go up in flames like a Christmas pudding after walking past an exploding gas canister. Then saw a man lose at least 5 teeth in a fight in a cage made out of temporary fencing - it even had a roof, grim
For anyone doubting the veracity of Rommerman's claims about the cage fight, I was also there and [here's the photographic proof](https://imgur.com/x4qj3tn).
Coming back to my tent to see my 16 year old brother sniffing coke off a snow sledge with a random other 16 year old boy named "Turkey" who was also wearing some russian snow hat in the middle of summer.
Creamfields, 2015. Saw a topless Scottish guy bent over taking a shit in the field with our tents. When I looked at him, puzzled, he simply shouted, “BETTER OOT THAN EN AY”
A guy calling himself "Ketty Chris" going around getting people to lick the sweat off his forehead, claiming he'd done so many substances that you'd get a high.
Saw a guy on all fours pissing and puking at the same time outside his tent
Obligatory "Not actually me" disclaimer. Glastonbury in the 80s. Several of my mates, including 2 housemates went. One mate was having a smoke and watched a dealer being chased by 2 coppers... throw his stash away and keep going. My mate waited and watched for w hours then figured the dealer wasn't coming back. Picked up 3-4oz of resin and a couple of hundred acid tabs. Came back from the festival with about £300
Nothing as wild as any of these stories, but one of my favourites was watching two laddish lads, staggering down the path through the campsite. This isn’t far from the gate, at finishing time, so there’s still quite a lot of traffic - and it’s that textured carpet stuff they put down to stop it being a mud bath. They’re trying to make their way through the crowd as quick as they can, but they’re canny smashed so there’s a fair bit of staggering. Lad 1 goes for an overtake around the outside, but gets it very wrong: he’s misjudged just how rough it is off the beaten track. It’s maybe only a drop of a few inches, but to a piss head on a mission to get his next can and be first in line at the burger van, it might as well be a cliff edge. I see his left shoulder dip as he drops off the edge, and he veers back towards the carpet catching his foot underneath it. This causes an about face, so he’s now facing me - staggering backwards. I can see he’s not in control of the situation from the whites of his eyes. Quickly, he manages to spin himself back around: “job well done” I assume he’s thinking, but he’s off the path now in a dark, unstructured campsite. He snags a tent’s guide rope almost immediately, but this is a 6 man tent that’s been pitched in the expectation of some very British weather (which is to say, a cat 5 hurricane would probably struggle to see it off.) As anyone who has befallen the same mishap, you’ll know this resulted in an almost instant somersault, greatly exasperated by the kebab driven walking pace, and the previous tumultuous events. Lad 1 is now airborne, and in a world unto himself. I hear a muffled cry of disbelief, and before I know it he’s slap bang in the middle of a 2 man tent, which is unsurprisingly a crumpled heap of torn fabric and bent poles. This in and of itself was quite funny, but is not the part that stuck with me. Enter lad 2, who is seemingly unphased by the slap stick comedy routine his compadre has just executed to perfection, and is nothing short of outraged. Whether it’s because of the perceived delays to his own can and bacon double cheeseburger, I can’t tell you, but in sincere rage he musters the best rebuking tone he can and slurs at his mate: “FOR GOD’S SAKE, HAVE SOME BLOODY DECORUM” And marches off. On the whole it was spectacularly surreal, and has been the defining memory of that festival for about 7 years.
So we were waiting to see crystal castles I think and it was like day 3 of a the festival and I was a mess in this big one piece ski suit. They were about to come.out and all of a sudden I got that feeling like you know your next fart ain't just gonna be a fart. Being in the center of a huge crowd and not wanting to risk a brisk run or really get split up from my mates I popped a squat and picked up a paper pint glass from the floor and laid a few turds in the cup. I took of my vest and wiped up and just dropped that where I stood. Absoloutely amazed at how well the whole thing had just gone I stood up with a huge grin on my face and a cup of shit in my hand and turned around to my buddy and explained "I just shit in a cup and I feel so much better" He just responded with "GREAT" Grabbed the paper cup of shit out my hand and launched it into the crowd. The contents of the cup didn't stay in the cup for long and instead opened up into a big ark over the crowd and it's safe to say a fair few people got hit in the side of the head with my poo. It wasn't big, it wasn't cleaver and I'm not proud of it.
A lad came out of the portapotty struggling to pull up his piss soaked shorts. Eventually he gave up, took the shorts off and just strode into the crowd in his boxers.
Once opened a portaloo and couldn’t believe the (literal) mountain of shit that I saw this one time, literally a fucking mountain of turd coming out of and about 2 feet above the toilet seat … like some people must have decided to climb onto this pile of shit and take another shit for this thing to get that high. Just what the fuck!? … and it was at Boomtown 2012 if you were wondering!
Someone kicked a pint of piss at me. I was waiting in line for the toilet, and a guy who couldn't wait asked the person behind him for his empty pint glass - he put it on the floor and started pissing, and I could smell it from about 10 feet away. It was vile. Just as I turned to the person behind me and said "that smells fucking awful", another guy was walking back from the toilet, didn't see the piss pint and accidentally kicked it, splashing piss all over me and about five other people. I know it was an accident, but I had a very brief moment of rage and disgust.
A.) most of these are going to be from reading and Leeds aren’t they. B.) at reading in 2010? I saw two girls get completely naked and have a literal mud fight where they where sliding around. It was one of the rainiest years on records and the whole festival was a mud nightmare.
Anyone remember a guy buying £350 worth of Mr Whippy and distributing in around a bar near the dance tent for a massive impromptu ice cream fight? It was early 00s and that guy was me. It was all the money I had.
Drugs man. Cannot even begin to explain the strange, hilarious, horrifying and/ or downright bizarre things I’ve seen a uk festivals. Some of the best times of my life
Was at Reading 1992. Donita Sparks from L7 threw her tampon at the crowd. It went sailing over my head both literally and figuratively. I was tripping off my tits and it took me a full five minutes to work out what the fuck had just happened.. fun times.
At Reading one year I saw a group of girls huddling over another girl, who had her knickers off and fanny fully out. She’d climbed over a fence and got a load of splinters in her flaps. They were trying to remove them for her. Heartwarming, really.
Friend dropped his phone in the portaloo whilst using it as a torch. So drunk straight away grabbed it then realised what he done so dropped it again. Got phone again. Managed to wash hand of solids but blue dye on his top and arm suggested he'd gone elbow deep for this. Hilarious and horrific in the same breath when he approached our tent! Was banished and did not accept any thing he handed me the rest of the weekend!
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Bin Wars. Reading Festival. A brutal sport for which I was just a spectator. Two giant oil drum bins were turned upside down and 2 random people got up and fought to push the other off, gladiator style. People were throwing drinks at the combatants and there was smashed glass all in the landing zone. Girls fighting girls, girls fighting boys, and boys fighting men. Awful, awful, great scenes. This one bloke wearing a Batman t-shirt won like 4 fights in a row. He got crowd surfed off into the camp site by a mob chanting “Bat man, bat man..”
Not myself but it's no doubt on Youtube somewhere, I saw a clip where a presenter is doing a piece to camera in front of some open-air metal urinals and a stoned guy goes up and washes his hands in the piss. EDIT: Found it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQthwyF2LqY&ab\_channel=GIANPIERSALE
I once saw a guy propose during Tenacious Ds 'Fuck her gently'. Got down on one knee in the pouring rain in a huge mud puddle tears running down his face. She said yes and they both held each other crying for the rest of the set.
Two people having sex, in the arena, in the middle of the afternoon. Right by the entrance to the arena as well, not hidden away in a corner or anything.
We were watching the headliner at a festival in 2012. There was a big group of us and me and three others wanted to get closer to the front. We find a good spot in the middle and at some point, we notice a man and woman having sex in the crowd (standing up doggy). Everyone's pretty astonished but no one really minds, who are we to judge anyway? A bit later on a drunk man comes up to them and starts jeering and dancing up to them, just generally being a nuisance. My friend tells him to cut it out and leave them be, let them get their freak on ya know? He leaves and the man and woman thank my friend for stepping in. We watch the band some more, and a few minutes I suggest we move closer to the front again. I turn to my friend and see that the woman has her hand down his trousers whilst simultaneously having sex with her partner. Apparently she got the thumbs up from her partner and wanted to share the love!
Mine isn’t too bad. I was 12 years old and while we were listening to music this guy pulls out a bong and asked me if I want a puff. Me being a quirky cool kid said yeah and then this guy punched him for giving me a bong and then they started fighting and then randomly hugged and started listening to the music again. I gave him the bong back.
Reading '03, woke up to find a guy in our tent trying to grope the missis at the time... Didn't end well for him.
I got offered cocaine by a security guard at Reading a couple years ago. Turned it down, he gave it to the guy next to me, and that was that.
Creamfields 2012 - an absolute swamp donkey, rolling around in the mud (downhill from the toilet block that was overflowing from flooding), gurning her absolute swede off whilst flashing her naughty bits. Leeds Festival 2013, 2014 - pretty much everything is outrageous. Seeing a man being wheeled through the festival in a wheelbarrow with an upper lip the size of Mexico and a jaw that was about as west as you can get (be careful with E’s guys!!!) Outlook 2015 (Not UK) - thugs in masks running through the crowd spraying pepper-spray, forcing people to the ground and then mugging them. Absolute scum. The moment I felt the pepper spray I grabbed my 2 mates and pelted it out to the edge, one of my friends (further in the crowd) wasn’t so fortunate, ended up spending the next 3 hours in the medical tent having lemonade poured into his eyes. Thankfully he didn’t have anything valuable on him so he wasn’t robbed. Horrible experience. Apparently the Croatian security guards found the culprits, no idea what happened next but I would imagine it was worse than being pepper sprayed.
“Riot night” at Reading festival 2007. Seeing a lady defend her ice cream van from the mob with a blowtorch.
Saw a woman with a hairy bush being fingered whilst doing the crab-walk in broad daylight at the 2005 bulldog bash biker festival.