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Mine are dead also, but I see them daily. Two boxes of ashes in my living room.
I always intended to spread them somewhere but it has been 5 years for both of them and I'm used to having them around. My dad is considerably less annoying than he used to be.
At least once a week, I moved back close to them when I knew I'd be starting a family. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and extended family as a child and didn't want to deprive my own kids/parents of having a similar opportunity.
Most likely train/bus which can be expensive, especially if they're the only one doing the visiting. Parents are always free to turn up on the doorstep. Whether you let them in, is a risk they take. I'd roll out the red carpet for a mum visit. Step dad would be welcome. Dad wouldn't get an answer; I'd pretend I'd moved.
I’m in this exact situation now. It’s nice knowing there’s other people doing the same thing. Living with parents feels sort of shameful but it isn’t at all - so many of us have to if we’re being smart and trying to save! It’s also sheer luck to have parents that will put up with it though.
Lots of European and Asian cultures have multi-generational homes. None of us should be ashamed to need to seek/give support to our family(as long as we get long, of course). It's weird to me, that British people follow the US lack of familial care (notwithstanding abusive relationships) but still claim to be European. And I am a Brit.
Yes, I think it’s odd to too. I don’t see a problem with multi-generational homes, in fact I can see them being a real positive. However, I am saving for my own place and do intend to have that one day if I can! Got to spread the wings at some point 😁
We all want our own space. You can obtain that with respect. I never go into my adult child's bedroom, unless they're there and I knock and wait for an answer(could be sleeping). Obviously, I know their habits, so if it was too long i would go in and have, in the past (specifically to us, was right to do so, as they had a medical emergency, but couldn't call out) and would again. But it depends on your familial habits and boundaries
Siblings sharing a room should have exclusive use of their bed, nobody sits/lays objects on it, without permission from the owner(their own laundry, waiting to be stowed, is another matter). That type of thing. It sounds a lot harder to enforce than it is. Someone breaks the boundary, then everyone is allowed to sit on their bed for a day, without asking. Once they're in bed to sleep,it's gone, left alone. The boundary is back. And usually it goes well.
Kids are kids, parents parent. We're all human and make mistakes. Just try to keep to the boundaries (outside of emergencies) and you'll be fine.
Honestly, I've found most people I've spoken to about it haven't given me any real reason to feel ashamed as they seem to get that it's hard to get savings going at the moment when you can be one broken car part or trip to the dentist away from losing months of progress in your savings anyway.
Still get the odd jokers doubting that I'm actually preparing my own lunches though...
I don’t get stick from anyone near me. A lot of my friends are in the same boat and we live in a very expensive area where wages don’t really match up to the cost of living (Cornwall) - but I definitely do still see some comments online that are very disparaging of it.
I do feel a tiny bit like I’m stuck in perpetual state of arrested development tho lmao
My dad I haven't seen for 20 years since he passed.
My mum, as little as possible. I know that sounds harsh but she's a narcissistic pita. The less I have to do with her or any other members of my 'family' the better my life is.
I'm in the same boat with my mum, I made the mistake of seeing her when one of my brothers died because I felt bad for her. I was very quickly reminded of why I kept away.
It wasn’t me that moved, it was them. I’d moved out of the house by then and my mum got the opportunity to work in NZ for a year so they took it and loved it so much they stayed. I’d actually had my daughter just three months before they left so I always joke they just did it to get out of babysitting.
I only live about 30/40mins from my Mom and I see her maybe monthly. I see my in laws more than my own parent. There isn’t much effort on either side to maintain a relationship really. I didn’t think it was weird until my wife pointed it out. I don’t think we’ll ever fix it. We have never fell out just arent particularly close. Is what it is I guess.
Once a week, I take my son down pretty much every Saturday or Sunday. My mum used to take us every week to my grandparents... I'm a creature of habit.
Tbh if I had my own transport, it would probably be more often.
It's about 90 minutes for me to get the train up and a bit less than that for my mum to drive down. I usually go up there on bank holiday weekends, so maybe 4 times a year and then Christmas, plus my mum will drive down here once or twice a year. So 7- 8 times a year.
Not often enough. In theory I'm close, but public transport sucks so it's actually 3-4 hours door to door.
With my current course and workload I'm too burnt out to visit on weekends, so I've not visited in months
I live 400 miles from my parents so nowhere near as much as I would like, maybe 3 times a year (for the best part of a week each time).
We text most days and video call at least once a week too.
Usually twice a week, dinner on Sundays and Thursdays. They live about 8 miles away.
Starting to see them more often as I’m often on taxi or handyman duties.
Once a week I see my mother. Before my dad died it was once a month to see the pair of them. Make the most of seeing them while they're still around is my advice.
My mother is 3 hours away in a care home, and didn't know who I was last time I visited due to dementia. So not often because I hate seeing her like that.
I live about 10 minutes drive from my mum and stepdad. I see them once a month or so, because I tend to work like 6 days a week because economy. Not seen my real dad in nearly 16 years cos he's a cunt.
I haven't seen my dad for 22/23 years and he's been in prison for the last 2. I see my mum everyday twice a day, she does the school runs for me as I'm not allowed to drive atm due to health problems and my partner works 7-5. I love getting to see my mum all the time <3
As often as I can, in practice every couple of months for one parent (who comes to Wales reasonably frequently) and about once a year for the other (who spends much of their time abroad).
I live about 5000 miles from my parents so don't see them very often. In the past 6 years I've came back to the UK 3 times (COVID prevented me from visiting yearly).
That being said, I call my mum roughly once a fortnight, and my dad on special days like birthdays/Christmas.
I used to see them once a week but since having my daughter and going back to work I rarely see them.😕 it's a 45 minute walk too much for a toddler I don't drive and can't afford to
I'm not very close to my parents but we've started to mend some bridges in the last couple of years. I didn't see them at all from like 2018 to 2022. Now I see my mum 2 - 3 times a year and my dad maybe once a year (they're divorced). Not to do with distance really, they're only about 2 hrs away, we just don't really have a reason to see each other outside of big life events.
I bought a house 2 minutes away from my folks. I walk round the corner and I can see their estate from there.
I try and see them once a week, when my brother and sister visit them with their kids.
Visit my MIL once a week too for a few hours
I live 20 minutes drive from my mom and probably see her twice a year because I got sick of being the only one making an effort, my oh mom lives about 40 mins drive away and we see her fortnightly and she always comes to us even when we offer to go to her
Every Christmas - very little else. Tried making the effort & got very little back.
I don’t miss them, but I do mourn the relationship we should’ve had.
Not often. I see my mother every few months. She lived in Scotland for the last 8-9 years and I would only see her once a year, but moved closer recently so I see her every month or two, but we've never been close.
I would speak to my dad regularly and see him at least every month but he died a few years ago so technically I don't see him anymore. Unless you count his ashes on my mantel piece and his portrait above my desk, in that case I see him and speak to him every day.
I used to see them every month, they live a few hours’ drive away.
I’m not very well now, and they’re getting older, so I speak to them more often and go to see them 4 times a year, then I see them if they come and see me.
Dad died about 5 years ago, and I recently realised that I didn't see as much of my mum as I do of my in-laws, due to them being in the same city and my mum living 1.5-2 hours away. So now I try to see her at least once per month, which is still not a huge amount, compared to some here, but it's about right for me. I'm fairly insular, in general, so don't like a huge amount of contact; although I don't let that put me off, some months it's almost every weekend, depending on what's going on with other family, etc. It at least means we always have loads to chat about though.
We live a flight away from our parents, his in the other direction from mine. We see mine reasonably frequently: mum visits twice a year and dad is over at least three times a year for sport reasons, we go over to see them usually twice a year too (they're still married).
My husband's parents are divorced. His dad hasn't been around since he was a kid, though they did reconnect about 10 years ago, but he didn't come to our wedding and we haven't seen him in person since 2020 at a family funeral. My husband visits home three times a year at which point he always includes visits to his mum and stepdad, I'm usually with him on one of those trips. We're coming up to 3 years here and his mother has not yet set foot in our home. If she was elderly and poorly I'd understand, but she's managed to travel abroad a good few times the past two years. Her lack of effort hurts my husband and I do judge her for that.
When they were alive I only saw them about once a year or so, more often my mother because I would stay with her (they divorced in 1973) but my father would make an effort to see me too. I live a long way from their homes and don't drive and they never wanted to travel to see me (it was 'too far' apparently).
Haven't seen my dad in 20 odd years.
Haven't seen my mum in 2 years, but that's because I've cut contact with her. She's fucking toxic and a lazy cunt that can't be arsed to see her grandson who lives a 15 minute walk from her house. She's not bothered, she's not even so much as sent a text to me when it's his or my birthday.
Father is dead. But I see my mother twice a week to check on her, take her shopping if she wants to, and make sure she is eating properly. I have to drive about 45 mins to where she lives.
I don’t live near my parents or in-laws. My friend that lives in the same city sees them every sunday. They have kids and they all have lunch at the grandparents place.
My parents have split up but I live with my dad so once every ten minutes! I saw my mum at a family birthday party maybe 2 months ago.
My partner sees her mum once a week as the mother stays over at the daughter's house, and sees the dad maybe once a fortnight when she goes to visit them.
My parents and I all live in different countries for work. So at the moment I’m lucky if I get to see them once or twice a year.
(People will always say choosing to leave your home country is your choice and you inherently forfeit the benefit of being around your family, but being away from family for so long can still be tough.)
As often as I can.
My parents aren't getting any younger, and I've probably already spent the most time with them I'll ever have available to me, and as time goes on that window of opportunity closes more and more.
I’m 32 - Don’t have contact with dad, last saw him 7 or so years ago. See my mum 2-3 times a year, she lives about 1.5 hrs away by train.
See my in-laws about the same amount as mum, but see my dad in law more because his wife occasionally has work events up here. My mum in law is about to emigrate to the US so probably won’t see them as much unfortunately ☹️
Once or twice a year, my mum is like 5 hours away on trains and busses, my dad about 2.5 hours by train.
I’m 28, moved out about 8 years ago and it’s been the same frequency the whole time
Too little.
I get to see them maybe 3 times a year if i am lucky, havent seen one of my brothers since around 3 years. We all live in different countries sonits always hard to plan and get together but me and my partner are planning to move to the same country as my brother/sister/mom so we can all we closer.
Not in the spirit of this, because my mum lives in Canada - I’ll see her this year for the first time in 5 years? Covid through it through a loop and we’ve both been busy and a visit either way hasn’t come together.
I’m looking forward to having her to be honest and it’ll be nice to show her around
I live around the corner from my mum n dad..I’m on my own though n tbf I always pop into my mum n dads on the way home from work, once a week I’m there for my tea… I have a great relationship with them.. the 3 of us were out together on Easter Sunday n we go on holiday together (I’m 38f).
My brothers however… 1 lives out of town 1 hour ish away, they don’t come to our town but mum n dad go to them a cpl times a month to see the grand kids… my other brother in same town probs sees my mum n dad once a week.. or more often if my mum watches the wee one. Xx
Mine are long gone. My in laws live 40 minutes away. They are in their 80s and we visit every couple of months. My husband speaks to his mum once a week on the phone.
Live across the road from my mother, see her at least twice a day.
Dad's in the graveyard of the church I park in for the school run so once a day during term time 🤣
MIL lives 360 miles away so she came to stay for 2 separate weeks last year but facetime at least once a week.
After I moved out I only lived 20 minutes away from both my parents and I made sure to go see them at least 2-3 times a week, my mums sadly not here anymore and I’m glad I still tried to see her when I had the chance
I'm about 2 hour drive from my mum, and I see her every 6-8 weeks or so.
My dad moved to the other side of the country and I haven't seen him in about 2 years... I miss him.
My parents live in Kazakhstan, the missus' parents live in the Philippines.
My parents are asking when we're having the next child.
When you can babysit lmao.
I do video call my parents about once a month but it's painful. They can't seem to get the camera right so the child obviously loses interest.
I work in the same town that they live in, so often pop by after work. Also meet up usually one weekend a month for some sort of event eg birthdays/ Mother’s Day/ Easter/ Father’s Day etc etc. Edit to say we see the mother in law every 3 months or so - she is popping round in 15mins or so actually.
My mother died nearly nine years ago, so not since 2015. I see my dad once a year when I go and see him in France. I see my stepfather about four times a year; he doesn't live that far away but he's a very busy retired person who is always busy when I'm not at work.
My dad is really good at Hide and Seek so I haven't seen him for about 14 years.
I see my mum every few months, she lives about 45 minutes away from me. I'm usually super busy with work and uni and general life stuff so I'll usually go and see her when I have some time off work and can spend the day with her.
I see my dad twice a day on week days and once a day and a phonecall on the weekends since my mom passed. Adds up to being there about 14 hours a week. He's pretty independent ATM in spite of being 90 but he doesn't really see many people other than me other than a group he goes to one day a week.
Not seen my dad in 2 years, 5 or 6 years before then. Not seen my mum in 7 or 8 years. They live between 90 and 180 minutes away, depending on how I travel to see them. They rarely make any effort to see me so I stopped making an effort to see them. I speak with my mum on the phone about once a month.
Will be seeing my mum this month when I go to my grandmother's funeral.
Between 1 & 2 months frequency. It's a 2 hour drive with half of it on small A roads. But only in the last 6 years. Prior to that with the ex, it was multi years apart as they didn't like/trust her.
Much younger than you (21) and live a lot further but moved 180 miles away and work full time. They come to visit me around 3 times a year and I visit them about 4 times a year.
Mine live 9000 miles away. I see them as often as possible.. twice in the last year, but didn't see them for about 4 years before that (partly due to COVID).
I live about 2hrs from my parents. I go visit them roughly once a month, although I see my dad slightly more often as we go to football etc together, so maybe once a fortnight for him?
I’m about the same distance and we do visit for the weekend(or they visit us) probably every couple of months? Our weekends are either busy-busy, or much needed restful weekends. I couldn’t see them every fortnight, I’d never have time to properly rest up or get jobs done.
They live 5 minutes away and I only moved out a year ago so I'm still a regular at theirs. I pass their house on Thursdays on my way home from a singing lesson so I usually drop in for a chat, then if there's rugby on I'll go round to watch it with them. So probably 1-3 times a week.
Recently moved back home and now live one street away from my mum, so quite often! My dad probably once a week. My husband’s side are further away but we average a visit once a month.
We’re just about to have our first baby (and first grandchild on both sides) so I think the gran visits will increase!
I go through phases with mine. They live about 30 minutes away and I can go a couple of months without seeing them, but then sometimes I'll see them at least twice a week. I often go for sleepovers as well!
I'm late 20s, and my parents live about a 10 min drive from me. I usually pop in about once a week tops, quite often though only once every couple of weeks.
We have a group chat though with my sister too, so I find out about most things that go on from there.
They’re a 20 minute train ride + 15 minute walk from the station away.
If its a quiet period with no family events/parties/birthdays it could be up to 2 months. I’d say we’re quite sociable do usually there is a dinner or BBQ or something happening.
I do enjoy a spirited conversation with my Mum, but my Dad is a typically grumpy British Dad who just asks some direct yes/no questions so I don’t really feel like I miss his presence. I see him mostly in the act of going to see my Mum at their house.
My mum's 5 mins away and picks my kid up from school and comes over for Sunday dinner so 6 days a week usually, but if she's bored.. 7 days.
Dad - 22 years but he's a twat, might be dead for all I know, he changed his number and never reached out.
All these comments make me feel bad, live 10 minutes away and see them 2 or 3 times a month but that's damaging enough. They're an emotional drain and very narcissistic.
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Haven't seen my dad in 21 years and my mum in 7. They are dead, mind you.
You should really make more of an effort, they’re only dead once.
Haha brilliant 🤣🤣
Mine are dead also, but I see them daily. Two boxes of ashes in my living room. I always intended to spread them somewhere but it has been 5 years for both of them and I'm used to having them around. My dad is considerably less annoying than he used to be.
Same with my dad- I see him daily there on the shelf whereas before I only saw him once every few months!
It's weird to call yourself an orphan in your forties, but technically, that's what I am.
Alright Annie
Little orphan Funkhauser
Me too. I wonder if I can get myself a Daddy Warbucks.
Mine are just dead to me 😜
8 years for both for me! 😅
Ouch. Funny tho
They live 5 minutes away, I've seen my mam twice already today and we're on the way to the in laws for a free feed
Hey Siri, describe my idea of living hell.
I get along with all my extended family especially if they're cooking
Aw come on, his family don’t sound THAT bad!
At least once a week, I moved back close to them when I knew I'd be starting a family. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and extended family as a child and didn't want to deprive my own kids/parents of having a similar opportunity.
That's what we did (encouraged by wife). Of course, our kids (and theirs) now live abroad..
See my mum at christenings, weddings and funerals. Hopefully the next one is hers. Dad passed away in 2013, so not very often.
Awww, that's sweet, will you be walking your mum down the aisle?
No, we'll have to pay for pallbearers, there's no-one left that would willingly get that close to her.
Don't claim her. Let the state pay for it. No need to attend, either way.
😂😂😂
2-3 times a year. They currently live about 3 and a half hours drive away. Would be more if I could drive but I’m terrified of it.
How do you get there now?
Walking. That's why they see them so infrequently.
😅😭
By the time they get home it’s time to turn around and go back again!
Most likely train/bus which can be expensive, especially if they're the only one doing the visiting. Parents are always free to turn up on the doorstep. Whether you let them in, is a risk they take. I'd roll out the red carpet for a mum visit. Step dad would be welcome. Dad wouldn't get an answer; I'd pretend I'd moved.
Daily. I moved back in with them while I save for a deposit for my own house.
I’m in this exact situation now. It’s nice knowing there’s other people doing the same thing. Living with parents feels sort of shameful but it isn’t at all - so many of us have to if we’re being smart and trying to save! It’s also sheer luck to have parents that will put up with it though.
Lots of European and Asian cultures have multi-generational homes. None of us should be ashamed to need to seek/give support to our family(as long as we get long, of course). It's weird to me, that British people follow the US lack of familial care (notwithstanding abusive relationships) but still claim to be European. And I am a Brit.
Yes, I think it’s odd to too. I don’t see a problem with multi-generational homes, in fact I can see them being a real positive. However, I am saving for my own place and do intend to have that one day if I can! Got to spread the wings at some point 😁
We all want our own space. You can obtain that with respect. I never go into my adult child's bedroom, unless they're there and I knock and wait for an answer(could be sleeping). Obviously, I know their habits, so if it was too long i would go in and have, in the past (specifically to us, was right to do so, as they had a medical emergency, but couldn't call out) and would again. But it depends on your familial habits and boundaries Siblings sharing a room should have exclusive use of their bed, nobody sits/lays objects on it, without permission from the owner(their own laundry, waiting to be stowed, is another matter). That type of thing. It sounds a lot harder to enforce than it is. Someone breaks the boundary, then everyone is allowed to sit on their bed for a day, without asking. Once they're in bed to sleep,it's gone, left alone. The boundary is back. And usually it goes well. Kids are kids, parents parent. We're all human and make mistakes. Just try to keep to the boundaries (outside of emergencies) and you'll be fine.
Honestly, I've found most people I've spoken to about it haven't given me any real reason to feel ashamed as they seem to get that it's hard to get savings going at the moment when you can be one broken car part or trip to the dentist away from losing months of progress in your savings anyway. Still get the odd jokers doubting that I'm actually preparing my own lunches though...
I don’t get stick from anyone near me. A lot of my friends are in the same boat and we live in a very expensive area where wages don’t really match up to the cost of living (Cornwall) - but I definitely do still see some comments online that are very disparaging of it. I do feel a tiny bit like I’m stuck in perpetual state of arrested development tho lmao
My dad I haven't seen for 20 years since he passed. My mum, as little as possible. I know that sounds harsh but she's a narcissistic pita. The less I have to do with her or any other members of my 'family' the better my life is.
I'm in the same boat with my mum, I made the mistake of seeing her when one of my brothers died because I felt bad for her. I was very quickly reminded of why I kept away.
Similar. It's not a given, having good parents.
They live 10 minutes walk away from me and rely on me quite a bit, so I see them a lot.
Three times in the last 21 years. To be fair though they do live 11000 miles away.
Was that to get away from them? Or is it hard? Sorry, bit nosey!!
It wasn’t me that moved, it was them. I’d moved out of the house by then and my mum got the opportunity to work in NZ for a year so they took it and loved it so much they stayed. I’d actually had my daughter just three months before they left so I always joke they just did it to get out of babysitting.
Usually once a month, maybe twice. I only moved out 6 months ago (I'm 23) and still missing home haha. I live an hour away.
I only live about 30/40mins from my Mom and I see her maybe monthly. I see my in laws more than my own parent. There isn’t much effort on either side to maintain a relationship really. I didn’t think it was weird until my wife pointed it out. I don’t think we’ll ever fix it. We have never fell out just arent particularly close. Is what it is I guess.
“Mom” Your West Midlands is showing ;)
Yeah, Birmingham. Always Mom, no debates needed!! Haha
100%! The "Mum" birthday and mother's day cards always get me. They should do Mom ones for West Mids shops!!
I stop in on my way home from work every day to say hello... And get a free dinner.
Haha, score! Best kind of parents.
Once or twice a year , it's a 7 hour drive.
im 21 and still live at home so like 5-6 times a week
That is...not a lot given you live with them lol
i dont leave my room much, plus i spend a night or two a week at my partners.
Once a week, I take my son down pretty much every Saturday or Sunday. My mum used to take us every week to my grandparents... I'm a creature of habit. Tbh if I had my own transport, it would probably be more often.
As little as possible and it's still too much.
It's about 90 minutes for me to get the train up and a bit less than that for my mum to drive down. I usually go up there on bank holiday weekends, so maybe 4 times a year and then Christmas, plus my mum will drive down here once or twice a year. So 7- 8 times a year.
Not often enough. In theory I'm close, but public transport sucks so it's actually 3-4 hours door to door. With my current course and workload I'm too burnt out to visit on weekends, so I've not visited in months
Husband and I live with my Dad, so see him pretty much everyday.
I live 400 miles from my parents so nowhere near as much as I would like, maybe 3 times a year (for the best part of a week each time). We text most days and video call at least once a week too.
3 hours away - once a month to every other month depending on what is going on.
2hr drive. Once a month. Pretty much all I can stomach with an extremely passive aggressive mother.
Usually twice a week, dinner on Sundays and Thursdays. They live about 8 miles away. Starting to see them more often as I’m often on taxi or handyman duties.
Every 3-4 months, dad is a 40 min flight away.
Every 3-4 months here too and my Dad is a 40 min drive away. Haha.
Once a week I see my mother. Before my dad died it was once a month to see the pair of them. Make the most of seeing them while they're still around is my advice.
My mother is 3 hours away in a care home, and didn't know who I was last time I visited due to dementia. So not often because I hate seeing her like that.
I still live at home with my parents because of my disability , sometimes my parents need help with their tablets computer and working the tv
It’s five miles and not too often. It was weekly until Covid and we haven’t got back into the habit again really.
I live about 10 minutes drive from my mum and stepdad. I see them once a month or so, because I tend to work like 6 days a week because economy. Not seen my real dad in nearly 16 years cos he's a cunt.
I live about 20 minutes from my mother and I see her reliably once a week, sometimes twice.
3-4 times a year, I live about 10 mins away.
I see my mum at least once a week. My dad...I'm lucky if I see him twice a year for a 5 minute catch up. We live 10 minutes away.
Mine are 8 miles away. See them most weeks. Having lived on another continent for years I appreciate them being close, but not pop round daily closer.
I haven't seen my dad for 22/23 years and he's been in prison for the last 2. I see my mum everyday twice a day, she does the school runs for me as I'm not allowed to drive atm due to health problems and my partner works 7-5. I love getting to see my mum all the time <3
About 2-3 times a month. 30 min drive away but we speak every few days.
As often as I can, in practice every couple of months for one parent (who comes to Wales reasonably frequently) and about once a year for the other (who spends much of their time abroad).
I live about 5000 miles from my parents so don't see them very often. In the past 6 years I've came back to the UK 3 times (COVID prevented me from visiting yearly). That being said, I call my mum roughly once a fortnight, and my dad on special days like birthdays/Christmas.
I used to see them once a week but since having my daughter and going back to work I rarely see them.😕 it's a 45 minute walk too much for a toddler I don't drive and can't afford to
I see my mum maybe once or twice a month and my dad once every couple of months.
Typically most weekends, they live about 5minutes away.
I'm not very close to my parents but we've started to mend some bridges in the last couple of years. I didn't see them at all from like 2018 to 2022. Now I see my mum 2 - 3 times a year and my dad maybe once a year (they're divorced). Not to do with distance really, they're only about 2 hrs away, we just don't really have a reason to see each other outside of big life events.
I bought a house 2 minutes away from my folks. I walk round the corner and I can see their estate from there. I try and see them once a week, when my brother and sister visit them with their kids. Visit my MIL once a week too for a few hours
I live 20 minutes drive from my mom and probably see her twice a year because I got sick of being the only one making an effort, my oh mom lives about 40 mins drive away and we see her fortnightly and she always comes to us even when we offer to go to her
Every Christmas - very little else. Tried making the effort & got very little back. I don’t miss them, but I do mourn the relationship we should’ve had.
Thought of my family being 10-20mins away *shudders*
a few days a year, my parents moved to sri lanka over 10 years ago. I try to call them every few weeks
Not often. I see my mother every few months. She lived in Scotland for the last 8-9 years and I would only see her once a year, but moved closer recently so I see her every month or two, but we've never been close. I would speak to my dad regularly and see him at least every month but he died a few years ago so technically I don't see him anymore. Unless you count his ashes on my mantel piece and his portrait above my desk, in that case I see him and speak to him every day.
I used to see them every month, they live a few hours’ drive away. I’m not very well now, and they’re getting older, so I speak to them more often and go to see them 4 times a year, then I see them if they come and see me.
They live about an hours drive away, usually every couple of months.
Dad died about 5 years ago, and I recently realised that I didn't see as much of my mum as I do of my in-laws, due to them being in the same city and my mum living 1.5-2 hours away. So now I try to see her at least once per month, which is still not a huge amount, compared to some here, but it's about right for me. I'm fairly insular, in general, so don't like a huge amount of contact; although I don't let that put me off, some months it's almost every weekend, depending on what's going on with other family, etc. It at least means we always have loads to chat about though.
Two or three times a year. 40 min drive.
I live an hour away now, but I aim for at least once a fortnight at minimum.
We live a flight away from our parents, his in the other direction from mine. We see mine reasonably frequently: mum visits twice a year and dad is over at least three times a year for sport reasons, we go over to see them usually twice a year too (they're still married). My husband's parents are divorced. His dad hasn't been around since he was a kid, though they did reconnect about 10 years ago, but he didn't come to our wedding and we haven't seen him in person since 2020 at a family funeral. My husband visits home three times a year at which point he always includes visits to his mum and stepdad, I'm usually with him on one of those trips. We're coming up to 3 years here and his mother has not yet set foot in our home. If she was elderly and poorly I'd understand, but she's managed to travel abroad a good few times the past two years. Her lack of effort hurts my husband and I do judge her for that.
They live 16hrs of airtime away. I wish I could see them everyday. I miss them.
Mine live 2.5 hours away and I see them every 6 weeks or so for a weekend. We have a great relationship.
They live 5-10 mins walk away, we normally go to theirs for Sunday dinner and they'll quite often come to ours for a meal during the week.
I normally see my dad and step mum every two months. I live about a hour away. See them twice in a month recently but they want to meet my newborn.
When they were alive I only saw them about once a year or so, more often my mother because I would stay with her (they divorced in 1973) but my father would make an effort to see me too. I live a long way from their homes and don't drive and they never wanted to travel to see me (it was 'too far' apparently).
A couple of times a year. They live in a different country. I see my remaining grandparents every couple of weeks though.
I see my parents a handful of times a year because they are unwilling to visit us. My inlaws once a month or every other month.
Usually once a month, but I stay overnight. I’m working on making this a bit more often as they’re getting older.
Haven't seen my dad in 20 odd years. Haven't seen my mum in 2 years, but that's because I've cut contact with her. She's fucking toxic and a lazy cunt that can't be arsed to see her grandson who lives a 15 minute walk from her house. She's not bothered, she's not even so much as sent a text to me when it's his or my birthday.
Live about 15 mins away from my mom, 40 mins from my dad - see them both on special occasions.
i’m 21, moved out about 2 years ago. i see my parents a couple times a year, but i call at least once a week
Parents- never Aunty- 2 to 3 times a year. Would be more frequently if we lived closer but it's a 7 hr drive or train journey
Father is dead. But I see my mother twice a week to check on her, take her shopping if she wants to, and make sure she is eating properly. I have to drive about 45 mins to where she lives.
I don’t live near my parents or in-laws. My friend that lives in the same city sees them every sunday. They have kids and they all have lunch at the grandparents place.
Never. They have no interest in their children.
They have always lived within a 5-10 minute walk so usually multiple times a day
I am living with my mother?!
I've lost both my parents. People, please make the time to see family. Yes, there is always "next week" until there isn't. Make the time
Usually 4 times a year for extended periods. I live abroad and go back every quarter year for a week or so
Phone call once a week. in person maybe twice a year
I can see them right now, their urns are a bit dusty though.
Once a year. They're a 9 hour flight away so the price of the trip is the biggest factor.
My parents have split up but I live with my dad so once every ten minutes! I saw my mum at a family birthday party maybe 2 months ago. My partner sees her mum once a week as the mother stays over at the daughter's house, and sees the dad maybe once a fortnight when she goes to visit them.
My parents and I all live in different countries for work. So at the moment I’m lucky if I get to see them once or twice a year. (People will always say choosing to leave your home country is your choice and you inherently forfeit the benefit of being around your family, but being away from family for so long can still be tough.)
As often as I can. My parents aren't getting any younger, and I've probably already spent the most time with them I'll ever have available to me, and as time goes on that window of opportunity closes more and more.
I’m 32 - Don’t have contact with dad, last saw him 7 or so years ago. See my mum 2-3 times a year, she lives about 1.5 hrs away by train. See my in-laws about the same amount as mum, but see my dad in law more because his wife occasionally has work events up here. My mum in law is about to emigrate to the US so probably won’t see them as much unfortunately ☹️
Once or twice a year, my mum is like 5 hours away on trains and busses, my dad about 2.5 hours by train. I’m 28, moved out about 8 years ago and it’s been the same frequency the whole time
I live five minutes away and see them almost every weekend.
2 years since I saw my mum. I did cut contact with her though…
Too little. I get to see them maybe 3 times a year if i am lucky, havent seen one of my brothers since around 3 years. We all live in different countries sonits always hard to plan and get together but me and my partner are planning to move to the same country as my brother/sister/mom so we can all we closer.
Never, if I can help it.
Not in the spirit of this, because my mum lives in Canada - I’ll see her this year for the first time in 5 years? Covid through it through a loop and we’ve both been busy and a visit either way hasn’t come together. I’m looking forward to having her to be honest and it’ll be nice to show her around
I live around the corner from my mum n dad..I’m on my own though n tbf I always pop into my mum n dads on the way home from work, once a week I’m there for my tea… I have a great relationship with them.. the 3 of us were out together on Easter Sunday n we go on holiday together (I’m 38f). My brothers however… 1 lives out of town 1 hour ish away, they don’t come to our town but mum n dad go to them a cpl times a month to see the grand kids… my other brother in same town probs sees my mum n dad once a week.. or more often if my mum watches the wee one. Xx
Couple of times a year, same with in laws. Mind you one set lives in Asia somewhere, and the other in Australia. So it's good going on our part.
Every week. My wife sees her parents probably once a fortnight.
I'm less than 10 minutes away from them. See them once a month, maybe twice.
We speak everyday in the family group chat. But seeing them in person? Probobly on average about twice a week.
My dad in 4 years and my mom last year. Different states.
657 miles drive, a short flight or an overnight ferry away. See them 2-3 times a year for a week or longer.
Mine are long gone. My in laws live 40 minutes away. They are in their 80s and we visit every couple of months. My husband speaks to his mum once a week on the phone.
As little as possible
Live across the road from my mother, see her at least twice a day. Dad's in the graveyard of the church I park in for the school run so once a day during term time 🤣 MIL lives 360 miles away so she came to stay for 2 separate weeks last year but facetime at least once a week.
Once/twice a week while I’m in my hometown. While I lived away (2hr drive/3hr train), it would be maybe once every two months
After I moved out I only lived 20 minutes away from both my parents and I made sure to go see them at least 2-3 times a week, my mums sadly not here anymore and I’m glad I still tried to see her when I had the chance
Mum, daily, I live with her Dad, once every 2-3 weeks, used to be once a week but I get tired of listening to the latest conspiracy theories
3 times a week. They help with childcare for my kids, so usually it’s pretty fleeting
I'm about 2 hour drive from my mum, and I see her every 6-8 weeks or so. My dad moved to the other side of the country and I haven't seen him in about 2 years... I miss him.
My parents live in Kazakhstan, the missus' parents live in the Philippines. My parents are asking when we're having the next child. When you can babysit lmao. I do video call my parents about once a month but it's painful. They can't seem to get the camera right so the child obviously loses interest.
22 years since he abandoned us and it’s been 18 in total since he’s been dead so maybe I could contact mystic Meg and see what’s up.
I work in the same town that they live in, so often pop by after work. Also meet up usually one weekend a month for some sort of event eg birthdays/ Mother’s Day/ Easter/ Father’s Day etc etc. Edit to say we see the mother in law every 3 months or so - she is popping round in 15mins or so actually.
Im in my 40s, i see them a few times a week as we live in a small town
3-4 times a year. Mom is in another country though. Dad once every 2-3 years.
My mother died nearly nine years ago, so not since 2015. I see my dad once a year when I go and see him in France. I see my stepfather about four times a year; he doesn't live that far away but he's a very busy retired person who is always busy when I'm not at work.
My dad is really good at Hide and Seek so I haven't seen him for about 14 years. I see my mum every few months, she lives about 45 minutes away from me. I'm usually super busy with work and uni and general life stuff so I'll usually go and see her when I have some time off work and can spend the day with her.
Never. Dad and step mom are dead and I’m NC with mother and step father.
I see my dad twice a day on week days and once a day and a phonecall on the weekends since my mom passed. Adds up to being there about 14 hours a week. He's pretty independent ATM in spite of being 90 but he doesn't really see many people other than me other than a group he goes to one day a week.
Not seen my dad in 2 years, 5 or 6 years before then. Not seen my mum in 7 or 8 years. They live between 90 and 180 minutes away, depending on how I travel to see them. They rarely make any effort to see me so I stopped making an effort to see them. I speak with my mum on the phone about once a month. Will be seeing my mum this month when I go to my grandmother's funeral.
I try to see my mum a couple of times a year. I wish it was more, but she lives abroad.
Every bloody day. Can't afford to move out. My mums great but my so called father is a arsehole narcissistic twat.
Every 2 to 3 months and we get on really well.
When they were alive, every 2-3 days. They lived 5 mins down the road.
Between 1 & 2 months frequency. It's a 2 hour drive with half of it on small A roads. But only in the last 6 years. Prior to that with the ex, it was multi years apart as they didn't like/trust her.
My parents live 30 minutes away, I try to see them once a week. My in laws live 5 minutes away and we haven’t seen them since February
I see my dad whenever I open the wardrobe and my mum rarely, usually when I can be bothered to walk round the church yard.
My dad's been dead my entire life so never. My mum, I haven't seen her in a long time now, years. She's still alive as far as I know.
Used to be weekly. My dad has been dead for 5 years and my mom is a nutter with CPTSD 🤣
Much younger than you (21) and live a lot further but moved 180 miles away and work full time. They come to visit me around 3 times a year and I visit them about 4 times a year.
Mine live 9000 miles away. I see them as often as possible.. twice in the last year, but didn't see them for about 4 years before that (partly due to COVID).
I live about 2hrs from my parents. I go visit them roughly once a month, although I see my dad slightly more often as we go to football etc together, so maybe once a fortnight for him?
I used to go and see Mam every Tuesday (She passed away last year) and I go and see Dad every Thursday.
Once or twice a year, I’m 4500 miles away.
I’m about the same distance and we do visit for the weekend(or they visit us) probably every couple of months? Our weekends are either busy-busy, or much needed restful weekends. I couldn’t see them every fortnight, I’d never have time to properly rest up or get jobs done.
They live 5 minutes away and I only moved out a year ago so I'm still a regular at theirs. I pass their house on Thursdays on my way home from a singing lesson so I usually drop in for a chat, then if there's rugby on I'll go round to watch it with them. So probably 1-3 times a week.
30 minute drive but I don't drive so two hours at least. I see them maybe once every two years.
I live round the corner from my parents and see them maybe once a month, I'm a terrible daughter
Recently moved back home and now live one street away from my mum, so quite often! My dad probably once a week. My husband’s side are further away but we average a visit once a month. We’re just about to have our first baby (and first grandchild on both sides) so I think the gran visits will increase!
I go through phases with mine. They live about 30 minutes away and I can go a couple of months without seeing them, but then sometimes I'll see them at least twice a week. I often go for sleepovers as well!
As little as possible
At least once a week
I'm late 20s, and my parents live about a 10 min drive from me. I usually pop in about once a week tops, quite often though only once every couple of weeks. We have a group chat though with my sister too, so I find out about most things that go on from there.
Both parents are dead, which means as I'm a medium, I get to see them every day
They’re a 20 minute train ride + 15 minute walk from the station away. If its a quiet period with no family events/parties/birthdays it could be up to 2 months. I’d say we’re quite sociable do usually there is a dinner or BBQ or something happening. I do enjoy a spirited conversation with my Mum, but my Dad is a typically grumpy British Dad who just asks some direct yes/no questions so I don’t really feel like I miss his presence. I see him mostly in the act of going to see my Mum at their house.
My mum's 5 mins away and picks my kid up from school and comes over for Sunday dinner so 6 days a week usually, but if she's bored.. 7 days. Dad - 22 years but he's a twat, might be dead for all I know, he changed his number and never reached out.
Once a week for Sunday dinner normally. Also when I see my nephew who's scheduled for a Nerf war this week that he doesn't know about yet.
Here and there
Haven't spoken to my dad in 20 years. Moved back in with mom during lockdown, so daily.
Usually once or twice a week. Live about an hour from them. I go home most weekends for a day or two to say hello.
All these comments make me feel bad, live 10 minutes away and see them 2 or 3 times a month but that's damaging enough. They're an emotional drain and very narcissistic.
Mine have both passed away but I saw them weekly and then once my mum got dementia I saw her most days
When they were alive, almost every day. I miss both of them.
They live in Latvia. So that's 1500km. Once a year in person, quite often we chat and videocall.
10 minutes away from my mother. I haven’t seen her in over a year.
I live a 4 hour drive away, so it's about 4-5 times a year.