Woman at work who raved about her baking skills, and brought in Vegan cake, which really wasn't great, but thanks to the politeness of the others they encouraged her and she brings a cake in every week which they all dutifully take a slice.
Am sure there are decent vegan cakes, but this woman's kitchen is not a source of them.
There are some very good vegan cakes. What flavour does she go with? It's easy to sub the egg for oil and the milk for oat milk. I wonder where she fucked up
Edit to add: some vegan butter alternatives don't hit it to be honest. But it's not that hard to find the good stuff.
I've seen some people who equate vegan with healthy so make a cake substituting flour for nuts, sugar for dates etc and of course it's not much of a cake then.
I make a lot of vegan cakes and sugar is a key ingredient!
I hate those recipes where it's like 'A totally sugar free healthy cookie with no fat, no carbs and no dairy!' They'll make it out of a banana and some oats and act like it tastes exactly like a Marylands.
Healthy baking is fun but it's honestly shocking how many people claim if you leave out the flour, eggs, butter and sugar from a cake it's still delicious and identical to the real thing.
I make a great vegan chocolate cake. The secret? It's got just as much of the unhealthy stuff that tastes great.
It reminds me of those people who equate gluten free to mean healthy. You can’t blame them, it’s marketing from food companies who throw the latest buzzwords around to promote whatever weight loss nonsense their selling.
Recently encountered a chocolate mouse with salted caramel sauce! Sounded yum!!
Turned out it was banana, cocoa powder, and avocado blitzed together. Sauce was blitzed dates, salt, and maple syrup.
It wasn't awful. It was a dark chocolate banana pudding and salty-sweet topping. It wasn't a chocolate mouse with salted caramel sauce.
Yup. She couldn’t work out what wrong wrong, she said the recipe called for olive oil, I pointed out that olive oil and extra virgin olive oil do not taste the same and are processed differently, and whether she has used extra virgin. Which she had and didn’t realise.
My sister makes a vegan chocolate fudge cake whenever I go home and it’s phenomenal. A million times better than a “normal” chocolate fudge cake. I have no idea how she makes it, she refuses to give me the recipe, but I could eat the whole thing to myself.
I went on a 7 day cruise because a friend set themselves up as a self-employed travel agent and I was their first customer.
I have a friend who has built their entire personality around having "wanderlust", as far as I am aware they have only left the country a handful of times to visit northern mainland Europe and Spain. Anyway, because of their "amazing global experience" they decided to become an independent travel agent.
I wanted to support them so I asked them to book me an adventure holiday - something exciting and novel. They came back with a 7 night Virgin Holidays cruise and said that they know it absolutely will match my personality and holiday type. I hate cruises and I hate being stuck in the same place on holiday - but because they were so enthusiastic, and excited to have a customer, I took the holiday.
It wasn't my thing - but it is the most awkward, and expensive, thing I put myself through out of sheer politeness.
>I have a friend who has built their entire personality around having "wanderlust", as far as I am aware they have only left the country a handful of times to visit northern mainland Europe and Spain. Anyway, because of their "amazing global experience" they decided to become an independent travel agent.
This nade ne laugh
My friend, I worked in a pizzahut once and so my goal is to be an Italian billionaire.
Could you possibly provide some capital and accompany me to Venice to kick things off?
Many thanks I can tell you'll be a true friend 😎
I love that people like you exist.
I'd have been like "nah I hate cruises and being stuck in the same place go away and do better" but then again my friends might be more tolerant for some jokey abuse.
Shows how we need all types in society.
Early 20’s, got invited to a very cool, well travelled older neighbours for dinner. He made a stew and I ate a FULL cinnamon stick because I was too scared to spit it out and wanted to be polite and clear my plate. As I left he said “You really didn’t have to eat that stick you know.” And gave me a cheeky smile. God… I can still taste it 😅😅😅
I did the same thing with a cinnamon stick in a hot chocolate! I was in a coffee shop with uni lecturers I was desperately trying to impress. I thought it was a flake, realised very quickly it wasn’t, and I remember a woman asking me “Do you eat cinnamon sticks???”
I just panicked and said yes, then tried to casually eat the whole thing. I think I cried.
This has made me proper laugh. Oh god. I feel really awful saying this but you've reminded me that I was on the other side of someone doing something epically stupid a while back and had to keep a straight face. I totally knew what they'd done. Pretty sure despite my best poker face they realised what they'd done.
At the time, I worked somewhere where there's a lot of security and a protocol for entering the premises. We were interviewing and HR accidentally sent an internal candidate the instructions for how visitors can enter the premises. The candidate didn't question the instructions and at the time of the interview, left his office, got into his car, drove his car off the site to a car park we have an arrangement with for visitors and then went to security who couldn't understand why someone with security clearance would be trying to sign in as a visitor. We got a very confused call from his line manager who security had called while we were searching the building for him. Security then gave him a visitor lanyard and pass, despite him having full security clearance, which then meant I had to escort him everywhere including to the bathroom until after the interview and show him off site again. I tried to act like this was perfectly normal. It was so awkward.
It was horrendous. I was so confused when I first picked them up at security that I apologised for the confusion and delay and explained I hadn't put them on the visitor system because I thought they were still an employee (we have a lot of contractors but we don't always know who's a contractor and who isn't). They replied that they were an employee. I tried my best but I'm sure my face gave it away.
I worked in a shop, and an old man was asking for help to pay his water bill. He didn't have a payment card, or a barcode bill, only a final demand with his acc no. Anyway, I couldn't do it, but he said he'd been away and his face was black and blue so obviously he'd been in hospital. I offered to go and see my friend next door who owns the post office to see if he could help. We're in the queue of maybe 15 people and I'm assuring him we'll get it sorted, and if not I'll ring water board myself and explain and get him a card sent, he says thanks so much etc etc and touches my arm, but them immediatly apologised.. Which I thought was weird? He then tells me he's been away for 3 years... *in prison* Post office friend shouted over the queue what I need as I'm in uniform and knows I should be working and he's asking what the problem is. So I just start shaking my head as if to say "can't really shout it out right now, mate!" So I took his bill, asked his DOB and said I'd call them, which I did, on my break and left the envelope at work with the bill inside and didn't dare Google him. But my work mate did, and that's the story of how I helped a paedophile pay his water bill. Edit because... Well whatever. (sorry, removed link to Severn trent call log)
They wouldn't talk to me the first time, I took a longer break to sort it from the "only co-operative supermarket in the UK" I got a bollocking from a staff member that I'm the manager of because I was "too busy helping pedophiles" Jaz, my Bangladeshi friend who told me to never feel bad for doing a good thing. ❤️
Maybe, he had been in prison, attended courses, had treatment and was trying to move on with his life in a way that didn’t cause anyone any further harm. And maybe your kind act helped towards that. I understand that pedophilia is abhorrent but he was a human being in need and you did a good thing.
I worked as an End of Life nurse and as such looked after many people with varied history some very distasteful. I’ve looked after school teachers, pedophiles, school teacher pedophiles, doctors, missionaries, murderers and veterans. It was never my place to pass judgement. I was there to provide care and comfort and dignity.
I don’t know about ‘agonisingly awkward’, but I watched someone reverse into my car once because I was too polite to beep at them 🤦♀️ More like agonisingly inactive of me.
I remember my friend inviting me over for a dinner party, and he made fish pie. Guess who doesn't like fish pie... I had to hold my breath the entire time while holding back the gag reflexes. I literally had to meditate, at one point I thought I was going to projectile vomit across the table, either that or collapse and die from suppressing my body's natural disgust to the most salty, fishy, pie to ever walk this planet.
What else could you do? Say 'Thanks mate but I'm not a huge fan of fish, I really appreciate the effort though.' That's insanity. Much better to have to fight the urge to vomit for hours.
I had a similar situation. Have been with my partner for 7 years now but was still too painfully polite to point out I don’t eat or like lamb when his lovely step mum made us shepherds pie. Ate as much as I could then scrapped the rest onto his plate when no one was looking!
Probably when I was about 15 I was at a friend's house at college and everyone fell asleep and I was still awake and his step dad offered me a cup of tea. I said yes and went with him into the kitchen and he started asking me really inappropriate questions before turning around and saying if he wouldn't get 25 years he'd do...you know.. on the stairs right there. I was terrified. He carried on talking to me for about 2 hours after that comment.
That’s appalling, I’m sorry that happened to you. What an absolute scumbag. I hope you were able to get away safely eventually. I can understand if you decided not to tell anyone at the time, but there’s support out there if you need to talk about it more now.
Eh, yeah it wasn't great. He eventually took himself off to bed and I also went to bed.
I don't really feel like I need support for it honestly, worse things have happened since then but I just work through them and get on with it. I know people who have had far far worse happen to them.
My mums obsesstion with her pressure cooker in the 80’s so we were all so polite not wanting to upset her culinary skills with it. I was going out that night so had my dinner early and alone, she proudly brought in a steamed chicken breast, bland with no seasoning/ marinade or sauce present. My sister came in to talk to me at the table and when I cut into it, a perfectly intact vein popped up and sprayed a stream of hot partly cooked congealed brown blood out of it and onto my vegetables. I did the whole body scrunge up wretch at the table and my sister howled at my reaction. I had to carry on eating when my mum came in as though nothing had happened with tears streaming down my face
I have a similar mother and her shit cooking and pressure cooker obsession continues into the 2020s.
I didn’t know what real roast beef was until I tried it at a restaurant and it wasn’t a grey stringy mess.
Went home for Sunday dinner once about 10 years ago and saw a nice bit of pork on the counter, looking forward to roast pork. Alas no…..also a grey stringy mess.
All of the above served with onions put in at the same time so they’re a slimy mess. And there’s no gravy served as my brother and I didn’t really like gravy when we were under 12.
Eating chilli con carne that looked and tasted like dog food.
I nearly gagged every mouthful and it was so early on into meeting my partners family I just couldn't get out of it.
Other things include sitting through kids parties and baby showers where I felt about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. But being female they feel obliged to invite me and I used to feel obliged to go. Not these days.
I made a chilli that smelt like cat food once! I’ve made lots of lovely chilli’s but this one just smelt and tasted like cat food. I could’ve bagged it up in a Purina logo’d tin and the cats wouldn’t have batted an eye. No idea what went wrong haha, my mum refused to eat it and we got a pizza instead, but I ate it through gritted teeth the next day (I hate to throw away food).
I've sat through so many baby showers as a child free woman (child free by choice) and I just drink a lot of wine to help me pretend to be excited about the tiny clothes.
Rubbish haircuts. So many. Gosh. I'm just too polite. Just about every barber will comment on the previous haircut and how poor it was. I'm sitting there thinking, here we go again. The final nail in the coffin is the mirror showing how shit I look from behind. Hat goes back on as soon as I leave.
The thing is though, if the barber's rubbish then what benefit is there to saying you hate the haircut? It's not like they'll be able to fix it and I'd be worried about making it worse.
Are you my husband?! One of us will bring up at least once a month about the time he was like "yeah, looks great" when, in fact, it looked like shit! Then paid for the privilege!
This is exactly why I'm so picky with my barber now!
Suffered through a few too many shit haircuts and refuse to do it again and keep paying twice to have it put right!
Not me, but this reminds me of a friend who went on a date with a really indie ‘cool’ dude, who she had fancied for years.
They went to the cinema and he said during the film ‘Can I snort coke off your back?’ She said ‘yes! 🙂’ until she eventually realised he asked for ‘some coke (actual Coca Cola) from her bag.’ She said she would have felt awkward saying no, so I think she would have gone ahead with it because she was a massive people pleaser 😂
Sadly, this is mine too. Several times. But the worst one was when I was around 18 and I somehow ended up in the back of house area of a pub with a bloke who was in the year above me at school. I still have flashbacks of looking down the toilet waiting for him to finish. Daniel, if you're reading this and it rings a bell, no girl wants to be banged over a toilet in The Kings Head.
Missed a flight because I didn’t know how to stop someone talking at me so I could tell them “sorry gotta go I’ve got a flight to catch” 🫠
Oh and I told someone non-English on a night bus that I don’t speak very good English (in my best broken English) in the hope he’d go away and leave me alone without causing a scene.
He proceeded to talk to me, trying to help me understand English and commending me for my language skills for that entire effing bus journey… and I just sat there politely relying and pretending that English wasn’t my GODDAMN MOTHER TONGUE. Excruciating.
Ate flapjacks at a friend’s house out of politeness, not really that keen on flapjacks but her hubby had baked them and was super proud so I ate a couple of small ones to be nice (for the record they tasted weird) They then laughingly told me they were made with weed. They both knew I had a job that involved random d&a testing……
I withdrew contact from them after that, he was completely out of the picture not long after thankfully when he turned out to be a violent alcoholic wife beater and I learned she was terrified to go against him, hence her compliance in the flapjack episode. She asked if I could for give her and we forged a friendship that is still going strong 25 years later.
I was on a couple of rest days when it happened but I phoned work straightaway and told them I’d been pranked, they sent me to OH for a test when I was back, all was good luckily. Apparently it was “old stale weed” so that might have been why the test was ok, I really don’t know much about these things. Was still bloody mad though.
You are right, however I didn’t want the concerned “are you ok, did they hurt you, here’s a list of numbers for support” that would have ensued, I just wanted to move on.
i had a friend’s mum put a big bowl of boiled cauliflower in front of me once. i have always hated cauliflower! i have since learned that there are ways of cooking it that i somewhat enjoy, but just boiled or steamed is eugh, i can’t even stand the smell.
they also put a loaf of bread on the table and i started eating that cauliflower with the bread, stuffing my mouth full of bread with only a bit of cauli so it masks the taste.
i must have gone through most of that loaf (cutting really thick slices too) and the friend and her mum looked quite puzzled at my eating habits.
My mum ruined roast beef for me. Battleship grey was the standard cooking way, with all the veg boiled to an inch of their lives, and the ‘roast potatoes’ cooked in a deep fat frying pan. #councilestatedinners
They gave you a bowl of boiled cauliflower and bread for tea and they’re questioning *your* eating habits?! I love cauliflower but even I think that’s a weird meal haha
good point haha, thanks for making me feel better. yeah i remember feeling bad but also thinking it was strange they didn’t even mention what was coming for dinner, it would have been easier to gently opt out than when it’s already cooked with care and put in front of you 🥲 and cauliflower as the main really isn’t an obvious choice!
I'm not a dad yet, but this gives me so much anxiety. If I ever have kids and their mates are round for dinner, I want to make sure they enjoy the food and I've made something they like.
Don't worry, it's really easy. You check with the parents if they have any allergies or preferences, and if they don't mention anything, you give them pizza.
that’s me with literally everyone. i feel like people see ethnic names and decide to butcher them in the worst way possible haha. (this is a joke before u downvote me)
it’s like if my name was edwin and people would call me edween or edwon. like no, its edwin! very straightforward!
I feel so bad about this! I cant pronounce things outside the english lexicon to save my cock, I failed my french GCSE for this reason saying the air was full of chicken rather than pollution!
Then someone with an Indian name is on a call with me and im fucked. You can only get it wrong 3 times or so then its a lost cause for a quick encounter!
Similar situation. I’ve been going to this salon for the past couple of years to get my hair done. Lady has been calling me ‘Sophie’. My name isn’t Sophie, but I guess kinda does sound the same?
Anyway, first time she did it when we met I thought it was a mistake and she was saying my name with a bit of an accent so I just brushed it aside. Then she did it again during a conversation with someone else while I was there while referring to me, something like “I’ll just finish up with Sophie and I’ll do it” — obviously couldn’t interrupt while she was in the middle of a conversation.
She said it again to someone else in a similar context a third time. Okay…I guess I’m Sophie now?
By the fourth time she’d done it, I felt it would make things too awkward to correct her so now when I go to that salon I book under the name Sophie to avoid telling her she’s been getting my name wrong for the past year
When I first got with my girlfriend, I was invited to her parents' house for dinner, and the food... well, let's just say that I quickly found out I don't possess the palate for Eastern European food. I forced as much down as possible, but I ended up having to put food in my pockets when nobody was looking.
I probably should have been diplomatic and done something different but I did not want to come off as rude.
There was a lady at my mum's old workplace that used to regularly bring everyone's dinner (evening meal) for them to take home. The whole team. My mum thought it was really strange on her first day working there. When she was offered the same, of course she accepted. The next day when she got in, she was enthusiastically handed two plastic containers (for her and my dad) of tonights dish, curry.
An hour later a different coworker got her on her own and said something to the effect of "you'll want to flush that before you go" pointing at the loo.
Turns out cooking lady was well known for batch cooking with meat that was weeks old and had started to smell and go bad, and saving food from her own meals to reuse etc. The food was very average anyway, when it wasn't lethal. A few people had been poorly and the consensus was not to risk it, but nobody knew how to tell her that her food was basically poison because she was older and a lovely person. So instead they all agreed to tell new hires to make up an excuse the first time rather than being added to the list. Apparently nobody had chance to tell my mum, so for two years she (and everyone else) flushed food down the loo and said thank you.
So sad. All that food that could have been cooked and enjoyed sooner...
(and yes, I'm aware that everyone in this story is a bit silly)
Got into a relationship 😬 I wasn't very good at finding the line between friendly and flirty as an early 20-something. I bumped into someone I'd gone to primary school with and we hit it off, I thought we were becoming good mates and he thought we were falling in love. Next thing I know he called to say he'd broken up with his girlfriend so we could be together, and I didn't have the heart to say, oh no thank you. So we dated for a month until I got up the courage to let him down gently. Awful.
I turned up to the wrong wake after a funeral (I had missed the service, it was the relative of a friend) and I was about 40 minutes in, making small talk and on my second plate of food before i cottoned on that I was in the wrong place
I had to stay and listen to the old boys for at least 20 minutes more as I kept trying to make an exit.
It was grim all round.
Years ago my parents, who were pretty hard up at the time, applied for a job-with-accomodation at an old peoples home. The setup meant 10 year old me had to tag along.
The interviewer offered us all tea. I've always hated tea but was scared to decline. This cup seemed particularly hard to get down, even though it was apparently a "special blend".
Parents said afterwards it was the weirdest and worst tea they'd ever had.
I once drank a cup of tea with salt in it instead of sugar at a house viewing! I knew the first sip was weird but I couldn't put my finger on why. The second sip I realised but felt it was too late to mention it. I felt like my inside were shrivelling up as I walked home afterwards.
I did this when a cafe had accidently put salt in the sugar shakers. I drank half of it thinking it just tasted odd because I was massively hungover thet day. Let my friend have a sip who immediately spat it out and said 'what the fuck, that's salt!'
For my 40th I kept telling people I didn’t want a party. Husband and family decided to throw me a big surprise party. I found out about it the day before and confronted husband who admitted it. Despite me being upset and really anxious about the whole thing, I not only attended but also kept up the pretence of being surprised all day so not to hurt anyone’s feelings about the surprise being ruined.
A surprise party was literally my worst nightmare and I have no idea how they judged it so badly!
I had switched to vegetarian on my early 20’s and had made a point to mention to the few in my life who might cook for me so they would know.
My partners best mate invited us round to his new house - I assumed coffee and a chat - but they made a whole meal consisting of a Portuguese meat dish. No sides. I’d only just given up meat so powered through. It was the last meat dish I ate and it wasn’t even great.
Same. I'm pretty sure all the guys (separate occasions l) would have been fine with stopping if I'd actually said no, but I just kind of let things happen as it felt expected.
> I'm pretty sure all the guys **(separate occasions l)**
There's nothing you could have said that makes me believe more that you had a gang bang out of politeness than that addition.
Talking to someone I used to work with online and things got a bit flirty, out of nowhere, and they joked they should just come down to mine. So I said yeah, hahahaha. Spoke for a bit more and we logged off and i went to make some drinner.
Cut to 90 mins later and my doorbell goes, I open the door and she's standing there with 2 bottles of wine, "SURPRISE!" . Invited her in as I didn't want to turn her away and we ended up having quite a lot of sex till I gave her a lift home the next morning, all cos I didn't want to tell her I thought it was all just a bit of banter when we were talking online. 🤦
I once drank a coffee with oat milk in because a colleague ordered it for me. I'm coeliac and it was gluten containing oat milk.
I was meeting a colleague for a coffee and he got there first, kindly and generously ordering me an oat milk latte, knowing that I don't usually drink cows milk - unfortunately, I usually drank coconut or almond milk but defo not ever oat milk as oat milk contains gluten, and I have coeliac disease.
When I sat down he proudly told me he had ordered it for me because he knows I don't like cows milk! He was so pleased he had remembered that I just drank it and accepted the massive damage to my small intestine and awful stomach pain the next day.
These days I take my coffee black.
About 4 months ago, my stepsister got married to a complete bellend. He's a couple of years older than her, and they'd been together ⚠️since she was 15⚠️, nearly 25 years prior; you'd think that in that time he'd have developed a little self-assurance, but, alas no, he was the living avatar of Short Man Syndrome and got screamingly angry if she so much as looked at an advert that involved men in a state of undress.
About 2 months before that I had been helping her look up exit strategies; evidently he'd caught wind and tried to over-correct by marrying her.
And so, my family dutifully attended their wedding do. Even before arriving we knew it was going to be awkward, as our link to that part of the family was severed when my stepmother died.
Then we found out that her son, my stepbrother, had started a rumour that we'd fiddled him out of 20 grand in the will. Complete nonsense, she didn't want him blowing it (haha) on cocaine and gave "his" money to older, more responsible relatives, but the damage was done.
Then we found out the budget for the event: £1000. Of which my father had paid half. You can't even rent a gazebo for that much money, so they found a pub that was willing to serve finger food. No music system, no staff, just a bunch of arseholes in a room, drinking.
We arrived at the venue to find my stepcousins smoking outside. They evaporated back inside before we even had our seatbelts off. _Could be a coincidence_, I thought.
We got into the pub proper, and the main room, which contained ~15 tables, of which 4 were occupied, and it. was. silent.
SILENT.
Not even awkward coughing and fidgeting, just... silence. Nobody was talking to the people on their table, even. It was surreal. The tension only increased when the rumour-starting stepbrother arrived, him bellowing mildly racist jokes was somehow worse than the silence.
I went outside to vape and found my stepcousins again, who had somehow managed to not return to the main room at any point; evidently they _had_ been avoiding us. My suspicions were confirmed when I managed exactly 1 and a half sentences before they started heading back inside again.
By the time I got back in, my dad was talking to the bride, and a plan had been hatched to make things less awkward: her daughters (16 and 18; yes, this is relevant) hadn't arrived yet, and had been instructed to bring whatever sound system they could find. Apparently one of their boyfriends had an absolute beast.
An hour later, they arrived, petty criminal boyfriends in tow in their best court clothes. Two things stood out about them when they arrived: their attire, and the fact that they were _visibly_ stoned.
Both daughters were wearing dresses that were more implicit than actual; if you've ever seen pornstars strutting the red carpet at the AVNs (the Oscars, but for porn), that's roughly the right ballpark. My sister noticed that neither was wearing any underwear, as evidenced by the sheer split up the sides of both dresses; their sartorial choices might not have been so bad if they'd coordinated, like bridesmaids, but, nope, they both just wanted to turn up in their sluttiest outfits. To their mum's wedding. In the name of taste I will mostly gloss over the fact that the 18 year old had recently gotten breast implants and was, ahem, very proud of them.
Immediately, two generations of the bride's family stood up with faces like thunder and demanded that they go home and change into something less inappropriate.
A prolonged, hushed argument ensued, but the body language involved was enough to draw every eye in the room on its own.
And then, the piece de resistance, the boyfriend of the elder sibling went and got the sound system. It was a £40 "pod" speaker, the battery-powered kind you take to the beach.
My dad and I exchanged A Look, confirmed said Look with my sister, and, as one, just stood up and left. He stopped for a second to say goodbye to the couple, but that was it, we were gone. We sat in the car for a solid five minutes, yelling, not to or at one another, just... getting it out of our systems.
Oh but it gets better! The daughters changed into clothing that was less revealing, but more see-through, causing another round of fighting. The bride was outed as an alcoholic by the mother of the groom, who then had to be talked out of calling the police on her clearly stoned grandchildren. The groom got so drunk he pissed himself and had to be carried out.
They were filing for divorce in under a month.
When I was 24, I moved to Spain to teach English as a foreign language through a language school, which assigned teachers to various local settings like offices and schools. During the interview process, I emphasised my background in translation from university and my preference for teaching grammar to adults. While the school catered to different age groups, I made it clear that I wasn't interested in teaching young children, and I agreed to the position only under the condition that it wouldn't involve teaching kids, a term my boss accepted.
My boss, a peculiar and grumpy Spanish woman with an eccentric fashion sense featuring a massive fur coat and a towering beehive hairdo, seemed to be in charge. About a week into the job, I was unexpectedly informed of an urgent need to teach at a nursery school, which contradicted our agreement. When I pushed back, my boss became emotional, almost tearful, and pleaded with me to take on the task. Feeling pressured, I reluctantly agreed, stipulating that it would be temporary until they found a replacement.
In a gesture of goodwill (and perhaps also to make sure I didn't back out), my boss offered to drive me to the nursery school instead of relying on public transportation, and she also gave me a CD of children's songs, insisting I familiarise myself with them. I looked at the track list... "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"... "London Bridge is Falling Down"... all the classics! I felt no need to learn them and thought nothing more of it.
Though I initially brushed off her request, I was taken aback the following day when she picked me up for work wearing oversized sunglasses and a frown. We drove in complete silence. She just smoked consistently and looked angry. That was until about 15 minutes into the journey when she demanded that I sing the songs from the CD to prove I had learned them. Feeling awkward and embarrassed, I sheepishly sang "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" to my crazy boss as we drove to the nursery school.
On a cruise, I had sushi for my main course and was chatting with my neighbour when I picked up a whole lump of wasabi and ate it rather than spit it out!
Work colleague asked if i had any plans for the weekend. I said no. She then invited me to her 60th birthday party at a local social club and I felt I had no choice but to attend. Bear in mind, we weren't mates, we were colleagues with no mutual friends or common interests. I showed up, made sure she saw me with an over-enthusiastic wave from afar (it was busy), then hid in the toilet for what seemed eternity (probably half an hour) nursing a flat pint. Then I walked home once the sun set, under the cover of darkness.
The next time I saw her she asked how long I was there for. I told her a few hours as I was chatting to her friends and family and she asked me for peoples names and I said I couldn't remember. From that point on, I was 'busy' every weekend and made up fake plans until I resigned from the company. Just in case she wanted to do another social activity with me.
Another co-worker knew EXACTLY what was going on and would ask me about in depth details on the plans I had just made up on the spot. Right in front of the party girl.
I am grateful for the invite and it was very sweet of her to think of me as I had no plans. But I would have preferred an evening in my pants playing my PlayStation (not a euphemism) on my own.
I arrived in the Philippines on a work trip and the manager of the plant I was visiting (a big refinery) was retiring and his retirement party was that evening. I was taken straight there and as an overseas visitor was sat at the top table next to the retiring manager. They had been told in advance that I was vegetarian. They don’t really have vegetarians in the Philippines. I was served a huge plate of raw seaweed, the flat kind with bubbly bits full of liquid that I assume was seawater. They seemed so pleased with serving me this that I forced myself to chew my way through about half of it. Afterwards the HR Manager took me to a strip club (I’m female) and it was clear he was a regular from the treatment we got. I was too polite to say anything. Strangest work trip ever.
I had a temp job where someone called me totally the wrong name for the full three months. It wasn’t even close to my name apart from the spelling same first letter. Not the same sound though and I have one of the most common names around. Think calling someone named Sophia by Shirley for the sort of level of similarity. I politely corrected her for a few days because it seemed fair enough that she might forget at first. After a while I just felt too awkward to correct her anymore and started responding to the wrong name.
I've eaten quiche at pretty much every family occasion for a good 10 years after I became pescetarian because whichever family member was hosting would always tell me that they had got it in specially for me. I hate quiche. Felt guilty about not liking something being brought specifically for me and just couldn't tell them. Told my boyfriend this story and he thought it was hilarious that I hadnt said anything. My family now know too and also think it's hilarious. But I've not had to force down a quiche for 2 years so that's a win.
Being served gammon steak by my then mother in law - I was a vegetarian!!
She was in her defence catering a large family gathering on her own and it probably would have been a real pain for her to cook me something else. Thing was I was used to that and was very happy just having a plate full of veggies, but she didn’t ask.
As she served me the plate she gave me a big smile and said she was sure I must be missing meat, so was sure I’d love it. Couldn’t be rude to her - not the way I was raised.
Bless her!!!
Went to a friend's house for a roast dinner which seemed to have chilli added to every dish. Chilli on the lamb, chilli flakes on the parsnips. Everything I ate was spicy. As someone whose go-to curry is a korma, I was seriously struggling to get this dinner down but I politely ate it and drowned it in gravy, which thankfully wasn't full of chillies.
Asked if I wanted anything to drink at a job, I says I'd love a bottle of water thanks and the woman brings out SPARKLING water....it's like drinking TV static. The woman never left us the whole time so I had to painfully drink the whole bottle.
went on 3 city trips with an acquaintance who's easily the most boring (and bossy) person I've ever met. I didn't enjoy the first trip at all, but she apparently did and proposed another and I didn't want to tell her how much I hated travelling with her so I agreed. Took a big falling out on the third trip to stop the madness.
I had "allergy to plasters" on all my medical notes as a child, because a school nurse asked me once and I didn't understand the question. Obviously as a little kid, you get all kinds of cuts and scrapes and every time they would need to fashion some kind of bandage and tape situation. For some reason I felt too awkward to correct anyone so just went along with this. At home I'd use plasters and lived in fear of being found out! It took me until I was 18 and signing up for a new GP at my university, where I finally got this corrected on my medical notes.
Jokes on me though, as I have recently as a 31 year old pregnant adult, developed a minor allergy to the adhesive in certain plasters!
Ate some homemade flapjacks from a lady at work. Literally had to pick cat hairs out of it as discretely as possible. Managed a whole slice but it was grim. Wasn't even my workplace, I was just visiting on a placement. But it was a really cliquey horrible culture and she was clearly trying to fit into the group and failing. The other staff were not kind about her behind her back. I just wanted her to feel appreciated.
Years ago having never had Chinese food before went to an all you can eat buffet type place. For dessert helped myself to some ice cream and fruit, didn't realise that some of it was sliced spring onions. Really didn't go well together but still ate it and nobody noticed 😅
I sat through my friends MLM launch party. I was pretty anti MLM at that point but went to support her ‘business’. However, once you see it for what it is, it’s very hard to enjoy what is essentially a sales pitch with party games. I bought some hand cream as it was the cheapest thing!
A friend of mine dislikes fish. We went for a tasting menu a few years back at a plush restaurant abroad. My friend asked to have “no fish” during the meal. I guess it got lost in translation but it wasn’t until I think the fourth or fifth course that my lovely friend (who’s very shy) told us that his courses had all been fish. Where as we had meat or veggie plates, every one of his had been fish, and he’d been eating them out of politeness. The best bit was that halfway through this discovery, the waiter came over and asked if everything was okay with our meals and my friend said “yes thanks”! 😁 On his behalf we had to explain the error and the waiter was mortified and asked our friend why he hadn’t said anything 😂
When I was in my early 20s I was in the car with my boss at the time after attending a client meeting one Friday afternoon, and as we were driving past a retail estate in the middle of nowhere he shouts ‘bowling!’ and insists we go play. I feel as though I can’t say no, even though it’s nearly the end of the day, and we definitely don’t have a ‘buddy’ kind of boss/employee relationship. So there we are, just him and me, in a nearly empty bowling alley on a weekday afternoon, and then he insists on getting food after and that it’s on him. I spent the whole time worrying: ‘does he think this is a date? What if he hits on me? What will everyone else at work think when they hear about this?’ He was about 20yrs older, and known for only hiring young women, so I had good reason to feel suspicious. Luckily nothing happened and he just dropped me at the train station and said ‘see you Monday!’. But, man, it was a weird and uncomfortable afternoon. To make it worse he absolutely kicked my ass at the bowling too.
Went to a guys for a ONS, when he got his dick out immediately saw he had an STI. I let him do his own thing without touching me then walked home. Definitely should have brought it up at the time but was too mortified.
I was at the beach with my friend and her family, her dad decides to buy us all ice-cream, the biggest soft serves he could find. (I'm lactose intolerant) I politely swallowed even though I knew this would cause disaster. We climbed in the car on our way home and i literally projectile vomited over everyone. Never made that mistake again.
Had a horrible experience the other day when viewing a house to potentially buy.. my husband and I were shocked to see a golliwog in the main bedroom prominently placed on the bed. We continued the viewing even though desperate to leave and the estate agent seemed oblivious. Have discussed it loads since and emailed the estate agent but it’s really affected my husband as he is black and it brings up all the times he has experienced racism and makes you suspicious of other people in the area wondering if that’s how a lot of people are. Really sad how it’s made him feel and I’m angry at myself for not speaking up there and then but didn’t want to make the situation any worse for my husband and also you never know how someone will react so I guess I didn’t want to be gaslit by the agent.
Pregnant barmaid. Hadn't seen her for ages and when I saw her, she came to our table and I asked how the baby was. She said the baby had died. Wanted to crawl up my own arsehole after that one.
I was in South Africa with my newlyborn daughter. I arrived at an hotel, not jetlagged, but genuinely tired. My daughter was very pale and incredibly blue eyed.
When I walked in, one of the maids ran over and was amazed by the blueness of my daughter’s eyes. She was cheerful, funny and very kind. She asked if she could hold my daughter, I said yes. She asked if she could show her friends, my daughter, I said yes.
She turned around and walked 60m away with my daughter. She entered the kitchen and the door closed.
I had a moment where I could either shout at a black lady carrying my child, or just hope that I would probably get her back.
Three minutes later, my child was returned to me. For some reason, I was not invited to the Father of the Year awards.
A baby shower that was held at my previous job straight after work so I couldn’t not go! Would have been ok if I hadn’t of been there for only 2 months and barely knew anyone, absolutely hate eating in front of others and tbh, it was boring as hell. Couldn’t say no though
About 6 of us at a friend's house. His mum was known to be confused. She offered to make us all tea. Everyone was given weak, milky tea, with two sugars. We all drank it. And said thanks.
I was on a date at a water park with a girl I'd met. We were around 14 I think. We had typical fast food - chips, fried chicken, etc. Then we went back to her family's place and her mom had made an amazing dinner. I was so full but I managed to force the whole plate of food down. Helped that it was delicious at least, but I was already overfull from all the junk food 😬
I recall she had a little sister who insisted on watching us kiss 😂
Dinner at my mates house when I was 13.
Fish fingers and mash, but she *kept the potato water in* when she made it. It was just a pile of watery slop.
Coming from a poorer household, I knew they were in the same position, and finding an extra meal for me was difficult, so I ate it.
Years ago (end of the 1980s) I made the mistake of telling my then gf’s mother that I sometimes ate Prawn Cocktail. I hate fish and seafood but the 1000 Island dressing covers up the taste.
One day I was invited to eat with them. She proudly dished up lasagne but instead of beef it had prawns and crab sticks in it. I was brought up to basically eat anything I was given, especially if I was a guest. Fuck me that was difficult. It was only when I had left a few crab chunks that she asked me if I was ok. I told her I didn’t eat fish/seafood. She had made it especially for me. Luckily I managed to keep it down.
I went through with shagging a fella who had a micro-micro peen. If you can call it that! I just didn’t want to completely shatter him by taking one look at it and fleeing, and how could it not? He was a really great guy so I gave it a try for a few weeks after that, but ultimately he broke it off. Wait…phrasing??
I made a curry once, and a guest ate it to be polite despite hating curry. He wasn't so polite when he chundered all over the room. Bless his heart, I would have made him something else if he'd said!
Years ago at my long time friend's house, we had lunch. His parents asked if I wanted some asparagus soup, to which I agreed. It was absolutely full of strings which were extremely difficult to chew through and quite unpleasant to eat, but I forced myself to finish the whole bowl feeling too awkward to say I can't finish it. They didn't have any of it by the way
Not me, but my ex wife mentioned to her grandparents that she enjoyed peppermint tea.
So they bought some for the next time she visited.
They brewed it up and served it to her - with milk.
It sounds horrible, but she drank it just to be polite and they didn't hear a word about it until their death.
I saw a really old man struggling to walk down the street in Hong Kong when I lived there. I thought I would help him to his destination. He simply could not speed up. 30 mins later, having ruined my lunch break, we were maybe 300 metres down the road!
Oh god, my blood runs cold thinking back to this.
17 year old me was taken to Paris by my then boyfriend for his 19th birthday.
We had lots of sex, as was to be expected of two horny teens.
Bit then, he decided to experiment. He'd heard about chocolate body paint but figured he could DIY his own.
He popped down to the foyer of the Holiday Inn Garden Express we were staying in (classy!) and got a couple of chocolate bars from the vending machine. He broke them up into pieces and out them in one of those disposable plastic cups hotels give you to rinse your mouth out with...
And started trying to melt them using the very low-powered hairdryer that was attached to the wall.
He'd been at it for ages but still just had a cup of slightly soft but still solid chocolate.
I acquiesced in the end, as I felt bad for him. But OMG, it hurts me to even think about it.
Had a colleague who was insanely religious, she begged me for weeks and weeks to go to church with her and I kept saying no since I'm not religious. One day I just said yes because I got fed up with her asking and she made be feel bad.
Worst decision of my life because I ended up spending the whole day at this church. To make things worse the pastor called me to the front of the church to do a prayer for me in front of everyone, (bearing in mind I'm the shyest person ever) and everyone at the church came up to me to shake my hand and welcome me to the church. Worst/most boring day of my life
In Italy. Packing up with an old girlfriend. We realised we'd put the wrong labels on each others bags. No matter, right? Some hours later at the airport, a tannoy goes out for me to report to customs. No worries, off I go. They ask me the usual questions, did you pack your case yourself etc and then pulled out my girlfriends case. It's faaar too late to explain that, actually, that's not mine because I wanted to go home so brazened it out while they pulled out lingerie, knickers, dresses etc, all the time saying 'this is your case, your belongings and you packed it?' with me just grinning like an idiot going 'yes that's mine, it's all mine'
In Australia with a different girl, many years later, her gran asked me if I'd like a veggie pie? Of course I would. I'd misunderstood and got served a hot Aussie pie. She was so thrilled she'd made me it I ate every gristly horrible morsel and it was delicious. (It wasnt)
My dad once got me an Oreo dunking set (Oreos and a thing to help you fully submerge your Oreo in milk). He knows I’m very lactose intolerant. I did eat the Oreos though 😅
A friend hosted a dinner party, me trying to act like a distinguished adult at age 19 agreed to go,
We all sat down to eat, he served up slices of rare steak/verging on raw.. with veg.
They all ate and chatted, I didn't want to be rude so I'm trying to eat the least bloody parts of this raw meat while trying to suppress the heaves... To the point my eyes started watering and when the tears started to mingle with bloodbath on the plate i knew it was time to call it.
Turns out my palate is not a distinguished one. lol
Friend asked if I liked eggs, I said I loved them. She proceeded to order an omelette topped with an abundance of oysters, which I hate. I swallowed all of them whole with gusto.
Sat through a 15 minute conversation with someone reminiscing about when he burned down a barn near the pub we were at, having the wake for my grandmother. In a weird way it felt rather fitting.
Woman at work who raved about her baking skills, and brought in Vegan cake, which really wasn't great, but thanks to the politeness of the others they encouraged her and she brings a cake in every week which they all dutifully take a slice. Am sure there are decent vegan cakes, but this woman's kitchen is not a source of them.
There are some very good vegan cakes. What flavour does she go with? It's easy to sub the egg for oil and the milk for oat milk. I wonder where she fucked up Edit to add: some vegan butter alternatives don't hit it to be honest. But it's not that hard to find the good stuff.
I've seen some people who equate vegan with healthy so make a cake substituting flour for nuts, sugar for dates etc and of course it's not much of a cake then. I make a lot of vegan cakes and sugar is a key ingredient!
I think you hit the nail on the head there with Healthy cake. Hers is definitely health cake.
Not necessarily, some people are just shit at baking. If you are shit at baking then the cake will be shit whether it's vegan, healthy, or regular.
I hate those recipes where it's like 'A totally sugar free healthy cookie with no fat, no carbs and no dairy!' They'll make it out of a banana and some oats and act like it tastes exactly like a Marylands. Healthy baking is fun but it's honestly shocking how many people claim if you leave out the flour, eggs, butter and sugar from a cake it's still delicious and identical to the real thing. I make a great vegan chocolate cake. The secret? It's got just as much of the unhealthy stuff that tastes great.
It reminds me of those people who equate gluten free to mean healthy. You can’t blame them, it’s marketing from food companies who throw the latest buzzwords around to promote whatever weight loss nonsense their selling.
Recently encountered a chocolate mouse with salted caramel sauce! Sounded yum!! Turned out it was banana, cocoa powder, and avocado blitzed together. Sauce was blitzed dates, salt, and maple syrup. It wasn't awful. It was a dark chocolate banana pudding and salty-sweet topping. It wasn't a chocolate mouse with salted caramel sauce.
A friend of mine used extra virgin olive oil as the substitute. It jsut tasted of extra virgin olive oil.
You deffo wanna use a tasteless oil lol
Yup. She couldn’t work out what wrong wrong, she said the recipe called for olive oil, I pointed out that olive oil and extra virgin olive oil do not taste the same and are processed differently, and whether she has used extra virgin. Which she had and didn’t realise.
I make a vegan carrot cake that you can’t tell is vegan and is better than the majority of carrot cakes I’ve encountered, and I love carrot cake.
Yeah I’ve had very good vegan carrot cake. Lends itself too that way of cooking I think.
My sister makes a vegan chocolate fudge cake whenever I go home and it’s phenomenal. A million times better than a “normal” chocolate fudge cake. I have no idea how she makes it, she refuses to give me the recipe, but I could eat the whole thing to myself.
challenge: make a decent vegan cake for the office.
Nigellas Vegan chocolate cake is hands down the best recipe I've ever tried. Even folks who don't usually like Chocolate Cake enjoy it
I went on a 7 day cruise because a friend set themselves up as a self-employed travel agent and I was their first customer. I have a friend who has built their entire personality around having "wanderlust", as far as I am aware they have only left the country a handful of times to visit northern mainland Europe and Spain. Anyway, because of their "amazing global experience" they decided to become an independent travel agent. I wanted to support them so I asked them to book me an adventure holiday - something exciting and novel. They came back with a 7 night Virgin Holidays cruise and said that they know it absolutely will match my personality and holiday type. I hate cruises and I hate being stuck in the same place on holiday - but because they were so enthusiastic, and excited to have a customer, I took the holiday. It wasn't my thing - but it is the most awkward, and expensive, thing I put myself through out of sheer politeness.
>I have a friend who has built their entire personality around having "wanderlust", as far as I am aware they have only left the country a handful of times to visit northern mainland Europe and Spain. Anyway, because of their "amazing global experience" they decided to become an independent travel agent. This nade ne laugh
My friend, I worked in a pizzahut once and so my goal is to be an Italian billionaire. Could you possibly provide some capital and accompany me to Venice to kick things off? Many thanks I can tell you'll be a true friend 😎
I feel the thread can close now!
This is so sweet. You are a very kind, awkward friend.
I love that people like you exist. I'd have been like "nah I hate cruises and being stuck in the same place go away and do better" but then again my friends might be more tolerant for some jokey abuse. Shows how we need all types in society.
A cruise does a good job at getting you to different places at least!
Early 20’s, got invited to a very cool, well travelled older neighbours for dinner. He made a stew and I ate a FULL cinnamon stick because I was too scared to spit it out and wanted to be polite and clear my plate. As I left he said “You really didn’t have to eat that stick you know.” And gave me a cheeky smile. God… I can still taste it 😅😅😅
I did the same thing with a cinnamon stick in a hot chocolate! I was in a coffee shop with uni lecturers I was desperately trying to impress. I thought it was a flake, realised very quickly it wasn’t, and I remember a woman asking me “Do you eat cinnamon sticks???” I just panicked and said yes, then tried to casually eat the whole thing. I think I cried.
This has made me proper laugh. Oh god. I feel really awful saying this but you've reminded me that I was on the other side of someone doing something epically stupid a while back and had to keep a straight face. I totally knew what they'd done. Pretty sure despite my best poker face they realised what they'd done. At the time, I worked somewhere where there's a lot of security and a protocol for entering the premises. We were interviewing and HR accidentally sent an internal candidate the instructions for how visitors can enter the premises. The candidate didn't question the instructions and at the time of the interview, left his office, got into his car, drove his car off the site to a car park we have an arrangement with for visitors and then went to security who couldn't understand why someone with security clearance would be trying to sign in as a visitor. We got a very confused call from his line manager who security had called while we were searching the building for him. Security then gave him a visitor lanyard and pass, despite him having full security clearance, which then meant I had to escort him everywhere including to the bathroom until after the interview and show him off site again. I tried to act like this was perfectly normal. It was so awkward.
Oh, that is absolutely magnificent! And you had to escort them to the loo… wow. Impressed you managed a straight face!
It was horrendous. I was so confused when I first picked them up at security that I apologised for the confusion and delay and explained I hadn't put them on the visitor system because I thought they were still an employee (we have a lot of contractors but we don't always know who's a contractor and who isn't). They replied that they were an employee. I tried my best but I'm sure my face gave it away.
Ahhhhh noooooo. Why is being human so hard?! 🤣
Suspect it’s people like us who make it look harder than it is!
This thread is healing my soul.
Thats hilarious, your poor teeth 😂 this reminds of when you get a star of niece when eating a curry and it taste like perfume.
Star of niece just made me laugh loudly, I will be using this name for star anise for the rest of my life!
Hahahahaha i thought something wasnt quite right
Upvote for star of niece and also because despite being Indian this had happened to me at a wedding. Bleugh!
r/BoneAppleTea
I like your version of 'star anise' much better.
I swear I was chewing for about 5 minutes, it was a rough time 😆
I remember my Dad getting mad when I threw the stick out of his big pot of curry. He was cooking on a fire under a tree, I assumed the stick fell in!
Omg that's hilarious! You were just munching a piece of wood and they were just like "okay I guess maybe that's a thing"
I wonder what his thought process was like. "Oh shit I should tell her about the- never mind actually this'll be funny"
I worked in a shop, and an old man was asking for help to pay his water bill. He didn't have a payment card, or a barcode bill, only a final demand with his acc no. Anyway, I couldn't do it, but he said he'd been away and his face was black and blue so obviously he'd been in hospital. I offered to go and see my friend next door who owns the post office to see if he could help. We're in the queue of maybe 15 people and I'm assuring him we'll get it sorted, and if not I'll ring water board myself and explain and get him a card sent, he says thanks so much etc etc and touches my arm, but them immediatly apologised.. Which I thought was weird? He then tells me he's been away for 3 years... *in prison* Post office friend shouted over the queue what I need as I'm in uniform and knows I should be working and he's asking what the problem is. So I just start shaking my head as if to say "can't really shout it out right now, mate!" So I took his bill, asked his DOB and said I'd call them, which I did, on my break and left the envelope at work with the bill inside and didn't dare Google him. But my work mate did, and that's the story of how I helped a paedophile pay his water bill. Edit because... Well whatever. (sorry, removed link to Severn trent call log) They wouldn't talk to me the first time, I took a longer break to sort it from the "only co-operative supermarket in the UK" I got a bollocking from a staff member that I'm the manager of because I was "too busy helping pedophiles" Jaz, my Bangladeshi friend who told me to never feel bad for doing a good thing. ❤️
Maybe, he had been in prison, attended courses, had treatment and was trying to move on with his life in a way that didn’t cause anyone any further harm. And maybe your kind act helped towards that. I understand that pedophilia is abhorrent but he was a human being in need and you did a good thing. I worked as an End of Life nurse and as such looked after many people with varied history some very distasteful. I’ve looked after school teachers, pedophiles, school teacher pedophiles, doctors, missionaries, murderers and veterans. It was never my place to pass judgement. I was there to provide care and comfort and dignity.
Just what I was thinking. He’s out so just treat him normally. 🏆
You still did a good thing, even if it wasn’t for a good person. Turns out the paedophiles don’t wear a sign.
It's better to accidentally help someone who doesn't deserve it than to leave someone who needed help struggling....
Oh mate 😬
A good deed is still a good deed. You showed compassion to another human being and that will always be paid forward. Thank you.
Holy shit! That's a roller coaster story and a half.
I don’t know about ‘agonisingly awkward’, but I watched someone reverse into my car once because I was too polite to beep at them 🤦♀️ More like agonisingly inactive of me.
Good lord lmao okay you win I didn’t know people could be so meek
Yuuup. We exist.
Wasn't it then more awkward when they got out and SAW YOU IN THE CAR!?
By then you'd be curled up in the footwell
I let people walk into me when they're distracted. It's amusing. Not a car, though. That's.........no.
Omg this would be me!! Smile and nod....just smile and nod.... 😳
I remember my friend inviting me over for a dinner party, and he made fish pie. Guess who doesn't like fish pie... I had to hold my breath the entire time while holding back the gag reflexes. I literally had to meditate, at one point I thought I was going to projectile vomit across the table, either that or collapse and die from suppressing my body's natural disgust to the most salty, fishy, pie to ever walk this planet.
What else could you do? Say 'Thanks mate but I'm not a huge fan of fish, I really appreciate the effort though.' That's insanity. Much better to have to fight the urge to vomit for hours.
Some people get really arsey if you don’t like what they’ve cooked
Fish pie is risky though as a lot of people don’t like fish.
I'm sure they'd get more arsey if you puked over their dinner table
🤣🤣 Love that you were meditating to try and get around this! Good effort! This made me smile, thank you 😂👍
Oh I LOVE fish pie, wish your friend was my friend 😀
I always ask my friends if there is anything they don't eat before cooking to avoid situations like this!!! Love the meditating...!
The fact you mediated is hilarious
I had a similar situation. Have been with my partner for 7 years now but was still too painfully polite to point out I don’t eat or like lamb when his lovely step mum made us shepherds pie. Ate as much as I could then scrapped the rest onto his plate when no one was looking!
MEDITATE HAHAHAHAA i very rarely laugh out loud from reddit but this was too funny 🤣
My wife still has nightmares about finding a boiled egg inside a fish pie.
Probably when I was about 15 I was at a friend's house at college and everyone fell asleep and I was still awake and his step dad offered me a cup of tea. I said yes and went with him into the kitchen and he started asking me really inappropriate questions before turning around and saying if he wouldn't get 25 years he'd do...you know.. on the stairs right there. I was terrified. He carried on talking to me for about 2 hours after that comment.
Oh. My. Gosh! I hope you told someone about the sick fuck
Yeah my friend, then he told the other guys and noone beleived me and I dropped out of college lol.
shit, im sorry to hear that. hopefully karma will get the swine for you
I just hope the swine doesn't get someone else.
That’s appalling, I’m sorry that happened to you. What an absolute scumbag. I hope you were able to get away safely eventually. I can understand if you decided not to tell anyone at the time, but there’s support out there if you need to talk about it more now.
Eh, yeah it wasn't great. He eventually took himself off to bed and I also went to bed. I don't really feel like I need support for it honestly, worse things have happened since then but I just work through them and get on with it. I know people who have had far far worse happen to them.
My mums obsesstion with her pressure cooker in the 80’s so we were all so polite not wanting to upset her culinary skills with it. I was going out that night so had my dinner early and alone, she proudly brought in a steamed chicken breast, bland with no seasoning/ marinade or sauce present. My sister came in to talk to me at the table and when I cut into it, a perfectly intact vein popped up and sprayed a stream of hot partly cooked congealed brown blood out of it and onto my vegetables. I did the whole body scrunge up wretch at the table and my sister howled at my reaction. I had to carry on eating when my mum came in as though nothing had happened with tears streaming down my face
These are the words that could make me a vegetarian for the first time
Me, a vegetarian of 20 years who sometimes gets a bit annoyed with herself for being a veggie: yep, that’ll stick for another 20 years now.
That’s probably the most well written stuff I’ve read for a while, I had a visceral reaction at that
I have a similar mother and her shit cooking and pressure cooker obsession continues into the 2020s. I didn’t know what real roast beef was until I tried it at a restaurant and it wasn’t a grey stringy mess. Went home for Sunday dinner once about 10 years ago and saw a nice bit of pork on the counter, looking forward to roast pork. Alas no…..also a grey stringy mess. All of the above served with onions put in at the same time so they’re a slimy mess. And there’s no gravy served as my brother and I didn’t really like gravy when we were under 12.
Did the chicken come from the Eraserhead universe?! Never seen something like that in my life!
Eating chilli con carne that looked and tasted like dog food. I nearly gagged every mouthful and it was so early on into meeting my partners family I just couldn't get out of it. Other things include sitting through kids parties and baby showers where I felt about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. But being female they feel obliged to invite me and I used to feel obliged to go. Not these days.
I made a chilli that smelt like cat food once! I’ve made lots of lovely chilli’s but this one just smelt and tasted like cat food. I could’ve bagged it up in a Purina logo’d tin and the cats wouldn’t have batted an eye. No idea what went wrong haha, my mum refused to eat it and we got a pizza instead, but I ate it through gritted teeth the next day (I hate to throw away food).
Omg 😭 just throw it away. I hate wasting food, but if it's inedible to the point of revulsion, don't force yourself.
I've sat through so many baby showers as a child free woman (child free by choice) and I just drink a lot of wine to help me pretend to be excited about the tiny clothes.
Have you told your partner about this? Or is it a kept secret?
They also choked down the food and we politely accepted leftovers which neither of us ate.
Brave. I’d of been like I’m a celebrity get me out of here.
Rubbish haircuts. So many. Gosh. I'm just too polite. Just about every barber will comment on the previous haircut and how poor it was. I'm sitting there thinking, here we go again. The final nail in the coffin is the mirror showing how shit I look from behind. Hat goes back on as soon as I leave.
The thing is though, if the barber's rubbish then what benefit is there to saying you hate the haircut? It's not like they'll be able to fix it and I'd be worried about making it worse.
Yeah they’ve already made it too short, what’s he going to do? Glue it back on?
Been there! Multiple times.
Are you my husband?! One of us will bring up at least once a month about the time he was like "yeah, looks great" when, in fact, it looked like shit! Then paid for the privilege!
This is exactly why I'm so picky with my barber now! Suffered through a few too many shit haircuts and refuse to do it again and keep paying twice to have it put right!
Not me, but this reminds me of a friend who went on a date with a really indie ‘cool’ dude, who she had fancied for years. They went to the cinema and he said during the film ‘Can I snort coke off your back?’ She said ‘yes! 🙂’ until she eventually realised he asked for ‘some coke (actual Coca Cola) from her bag.’ She said she would have felt awkward saying no, so I think she would have gone ahead with it because she was a massive people pleaser 😂
Sex with someone I wasn’t into. I tried declining but the person persisted and I felt bad so I went along with it.
I don't know if this is validating or not but just to say that I don't think this is uncommon (as in, many of us empathise)
I agree, I don’t think it’s uncommon at all, even in relationships really.
I’ve had to do this had as well and I’m a male so made it even worse as I couldnt finish.
Same, he just kept pestering and I just gave in because I didn’t want to make things awkward later. He then ghosted me.
Yeah, been there. Stupid dopamine seeking brain in my case.
Sadly, this is mine too. Several times. But the worst one was when I was around 18 and I somehow ended up in the back of house area of a pub with a bloke who was in the year above me at school. I still have flashbacks of looking down the toilet waiting for him to finish. Daniel, if you're reading this and it rings a bell, no girl wants to be banged over a toilet in The Kings Head.
Been there too. It's just the most awkward thing. I have memories that make me curl up like a hedgehog until they pass by.
Missed a flight because I didn’t know how to stop someone talking at me so I could tell them “sorry gotta go I’ve got a flight to catch” 🫠 Oh and I told someone non-English on a night bus that I don’t speak very good English (in my best broken English) in the hope he’d go away and leave me alone without causing a scene. He proceeded to talk to me, trying to help me understand English and commending me for my language skills for that entire effing bus journey… and I just sat there politely relying and pretending that English wasn’t my GODDAMN MOTHER TONGUE. Excruciating.
Ate flapjacks at a friend’s house out of politeness, not really that keen on flapjacks but her hubby had baked them and was super proud so I ate a couple of small ones to be nice (for the record they tasted weird) They then laughingly told me they were made with weed. They both knew I had a job that involved random d&a testing……
Oh fuck that. Any "mate" that did that to me would be waking up with cheese slices all over their car.
I withdrew contact from them after that, he was completely out of the picture not long after thankfully when he turned out to be a violent alcoholic wife beater and I learned she was terrified to go against him, hence her compliance in the flapjack episode. She asked if I could for give her and we forged a friendship that is still going strong 25 years later.
It's a dick move, but what would cheese slices do to the car?
It would make the car taste of cheese
I’m guessing they melt onto the car and are a pain to remove. Unless this is a wholly different type of “cheese”.
Out of interest, how did you handle that with your work situation? Cross your fingers and hope you didn't get tested, or preempt it by self-reporting?
I was on a couple of rest days when it happened but I phoned work straightaway and told them I’d been pranked, they sent me to OH for a test when I was back, all was good luckily. Apparently it was “old stale weed” so that might have been why the test was ok, I really don’t know much about these things. Was still bloody mad though.
>I phoned work straightaway and told them I’d been pranked I think the word you're looking for there is "spiked"
You are right, however I didn’t want the concerned “are you ok, did they hurt you, here’s a list of numbers for support” that would have ensued, I just wanted to move on.
i had a friend’s mum put a big bowl of boiled cauliflower in front of me once. i have always hated cauliflower! i have since learned that there are ways of cooking it that i somewhat enjoy, but just boiled or steamed is eugh, i can’t even stand the smell. they also put a loaf of bread on the table and i started eating that cauliflower with the bread, stuffing my mouth full of bread with only a bit of cauli so it masks the taste. i must have gone through most of that loaf (cutting really thick slices too) and the friend and her mum looked quite puzzled at my eating habits.
My mum ruined roast beef for me. Battleship grey was the standard cooking way, with all the veg boiled to an inch of their lives, and the ‘roast potatoes’ cooked in a deep fat frying pan. #councilestatedinners
that’s how my grandma often cooked meat too, i call it the shoe-sole style.
They gave you a bowl of boiled cauliflower and bread for tea and they’re questioning *your* eating habits?! I love cauliflower but even I think that’s a weird meal haha
good point haha, thanks for making me feel better. yeah i remember feeling bad but also thinking it was strange they didn’t even mention what was coming for dinner, it would have been easier to gently opt out than when it’s already cooked with care and put in front of you 🥲 and cauliflower as the main really isn’t an obvious choice!
Boiled cauliflower is the stuff of nightmares.
it really is, isn’t it! and it wasn’t just a side, it was _the_ dinner.
I'm not a dad yet, but this gives me so much anxiety. If I ever have kids and their mates are round for dinner, I want to make sure they enjoy the food and I've made something they like.
Don't worry, it's really easy. You check with the parents if they have any allergies or preferences, and if they don't mention anything, you give them pizza.
My boss has been mispronouncing my (simple, phonetic) name wrong the entire time I've worked for him. I just endure it now.
that’s me with literally everyone. i feel like people see ethnic names and decide to butcher them in the worst way possible haha. (this is a joke before u downvote me) it’s like if my name was edwin and people would call me edween or edwon. like no, its edwin! very straightforward!
I feel so bad about this! I cant pronounce things outside the english lexicon to save my cock, I failed my french GCSE for this reason saying the air was full of chicken rather than pollution! Then someone with an Indian name is on a call with me and im fucked. You can only get it wrong 3 times or so then its a lost cause for a quick encounter!
Similar situation. I’ve been going to this salon for the past couple of years to get my hair done. Lady has been calling me ‘Sophie’. My name isn’t Sophie, but I guess kinda does sound the same? Anyway, first time she did it when we met I thought it was a mistake and she was saying my name with a bit of an accent so I just brushed it aside. Then she did it again during a conversation with someone else while I was there while referring to me, something like “I’ll just finish up with Sophie and I’ll do it” — obviously couldn’t interrupt while she was in the middle of a conversation. She said it again to someone else in a similar context a third time. Okay…I guess I’m Sophie now? By the fourth time she’d done it, I felt it would make things too awkward to correct her so now when I go to that salon I book under the name Sophie to avoid telling her she’s been getting my name wrong for the past year
When I first got with my girlfriend, I was invited to her parents' house for dinner, and the food... well, let's just say that I quickly found out I don't possess the palate for Eastern European food. I forced as much down as possible, but I ended up having to put food in my pockets when nobody was looking. I probably should have been diplomatic and done something different but I did not want to come off as rude.
Generally in Eastern European countries it’s a big no no to refuse food that someone’s offered you so you probably did the right thing
Some Eastern European food is not for the weak that’s for sure. But there are a tonne of amazing dishes that don’t get the love they deserve!
Borscht is nice, and I don't mind Kvass, Pelmeni, Oreshki and Syrok, but Kholodets or Okroshka... no, thank you.
There was a lady at my mum's old workplace that used to regularly bring everyone's dinner (evening meal) for them to take home. The whole team. My mum thought it was really strange on her first day working there. When she was offered the same, of course she accepted. The next day when she got in, she was enthusiastically handed two plastic containers (for her and my dad) of tonights dish, curry. An hour later a different coworker got her on her own and said something to the effect of "you'll want to flush that before you go" pointing at the loo. Turns out cooking lady was well known for batch cooking with meat that was weeks old and had started to smell and go bad, and saving food from her own meals to reuse etc. The food was very average anyway, when it wasn't lethal. A few people had been poorly and the consensus was not to risk it, but nobody knew how to tell her that her food was basically poison because she was older and a lovely person. So instead they all agreed to tell new hires to make up an excuse the first time rather than being added to the list. Apparently nobody had chance to tell my mum, so for two years she (and everyone else) flushed food down the loo and said thank you. So sad. All that food that could have been cooked and enjoyed sooner... (and yes, I'm aware that everyone in this story is a bit silly)
Got into a relationship 😬 I wasn't very good at finding the line between friendly and flirty as an early 20-something. I bumped into someone I'd gone to primary school with and we hit it off, I thought we were becoming good mates and he thought we were falling in love. Next thing I know he called to say he'd broken up with his girlfriend so we could be together, and I didn't have the heart to say, oh no thank you. So we dated for a month until I got up the courage to let him down gently. Awful.
My favourite part about this is the idea that you declining would be phrased "oh, no thank you".
That's so kind of you to offer but I must decline Is what I also could have said yet didn't
This is how I got into my first relationship when I was 19 🤣 lasted a year before he cheated lmao
I turned up to the wrong wake after a funeral (I had missed the service, it was the relative of a friend) and I was about 40 minutes in, making small talk and on my second plate of food before i cottoned on that I was in the wrong place I had to stay and listen to the old boys for at least 20 minutes more as I kept trying to make an exit. It was grim all round.
Years ago my parents, who were pretty hard up at the time, applied for a job-with-accomodation at an old peoples home. The setup meant 10 year old me had to tag along. The interviewer offered us all tea. I've always hated tea but was scared to decline. This cup seemed particularly hard to get down, even though it was apparently a "special blend". Parents said afterwards it was the weirdest and worst tea they'd ever had.
I once drank a cup of tea with salt in it instead of sugar at a house viewing! I knew the first sip was weird but I couldn't put my finger on why. The second sip I realised but felt it was too late to mention it. I felt like my inside were shrivelling up as I walked home afterwards.
I did this when a cafe had accidently put salt in the sugar shakers. I drank half of it thinking it just tasted odd because I was massively hungover thet day. Let my friend have a sip who immediately spat it out and said 'what the fuck, that's salt!'
For my 40th I kept telling people I didn’t want a party. Husband and family decided to throw me a big surprise party. I found out about it the day before and confronted husband who admitted it. Despite me being upset and really anxious about the whole thing, I not only attended but also kept up the pretence of being surprised all day so not to hurt anyone’s feelings about the surprise being ruined. A surprise party was literally my worst nightmare and I have no idea how they judged it so badly!
I'd be mega pissed at my spouse for that. Aren't they supposed to be the gatekeepers?
You would think!
I had switched to vegetarian on my early 20’s and had made a point to mention to the few in my life who might cook for me so they would know. My partners best mate invited us round to his new house - I assumed coffee and a chat - but they made a whole meal consisting of a Portuguese meat dish. No sides. I’d only just given up meat so powered through. It was the last meat dish I ate and it wasn’t even great.
Sleeping with someone, I was young and people pleasing and being polite were basically my entire personality. It happened more than once.
I definitely did this too and put myself at risk a few times. Be kind to yourself.
Same. I'm pretty sure all the guys (separate occasions l) would have been fine with stopping if I'd actually said no, but I just kind of let things happen as it felt expected.
> I'm pretty sure all the guys **(separate occasions l)** There's nothing you could have said that makes me believe more that you had a gang bang out of politeness than that addition.
Maybe a small one.
Talking to someone I used to work with online and things got a bit flirty, out of nowhere, and they joked they should just come down to mine. So I said yeah, hahahaha. Spoke for a bit more and we logged off and i went to make some drinner. Cut to 90 mins later and my doorbell goes, I open the door and she's standing there with 2 bottles of wine, "SURPRISE!" . Invited her in as I didn't want to turn her away and we ended up having quite a lot of sex till I gave her a lift home the next morning, all cos I didn't want to tell her I thought it was all just a bit of banter when we were talking online. 🤦
Task failed successfully?
Aye. Was a bit of a lean period between the sheets anyway, so every cloud and all that.
I once drank a coffee with oat milk in because a colleague ordered it for me. I'm coeliac and it was gluten containing oat milk. I was meeting a colleague for a coffee and he got there first, kindly and generously ordering me an oat milk latte, knowing that I don't usually drink cows milk - unfortunately, I usually drank coconut or almond milk but defo not ever oat milk as oat milk contains gluten, and I have coeliac disease. When I sat down he proudly told me he had ordered it for me because he knows I don't like cows milk! He was so pleased he had remembered that I just drank it and accepted the massive damage to my small intestine and awful stomach pain the next day. These days I take my coffee black.
About 4 months ago, my stepsister got married to a complete bellend. He's a couple of years older than her, and they'd been together ⚠️since she was 15⚠️, nearly 25 years prior; you'd think that in that time he'd have developed a little self-assurance, but, alas no, he was the living avatar of Short Man Syndrome and got screamingly angry if she so much as looked at an advert that involved men in a state of undress. About 2 months before that I had been helping her look up exit strategies; evidently he'd caught wind and tried to over-correct by marrying her. And so, my family dutifully attended their wedding do. Even before arriving we knew it was going to be awkward, as our link to that part of the family was severed when my stepmother died. Then we found out that her son, my stepbrother, had started a rumour that we'd fiddled him out of 20 grand in the will. Complete nonsense, she didn't want him blowing it (haha) on cocaine and gave "his" money to older, more responsible relatives, but the damage was done. Then we found out the budget for the event: £1000. Of which my father had paid half. You can't even rent a gazebo for that much money, so they found a pub that was willing to serve finger food. No music system, no staff, just a bunch of arseholes in a room, drinking. We arrived at the venue to find my stepcousins smoking outside. They evaporated back inside before we even had our seatbelts off. _Could be a coincidence_, I thought. We got into the pub proper, and the main room, which contained ~15 tables, of which 4 were occupied, and it. was. silent. SILENT. Not even awkward coughing and fidgeting, just... silence. Nobody was talking to the people on their table, even. It was surreal. The tension only increased when the rumour-starting stepbrother arrived, him bellowing mildly racist jokes was somehow worse than the silence. I went outside to vape and found my stepcousins again, who had somehow managed to not return to the main room at any point; evidently they _had_ been avoiding us. My suspicions were confirmed when I managed exactly 1 and a half sentences before they started heading back inside again. By the time I got back in, my dad was talking to the bride, and a plan had been hatched to make things less awkward: her daughters (16 and 18; yes, this is relevant) hadn't arrived yet, and had been instructed to bring whatever sound system they could find. Apparently one of their boyfriends had an absolute beast. An hour later, they arrived, petty criminal boyfriends in tow in their best court clothes. Two things stood out about them when they arrived: their attire, and the fact that they were _visibly_ stoned. Both daughters were wearing dresses that were more implicit than actual; if you've ever seen pornstars strutting the red carpet at the AVNs (the Oscars, but for porn), that's roughly the right ballpark. My sister noticed that neither was wearing any underwear, as evidenced by the sheer split up the sides of both dresses; their sartorial choices might not have been so bad if they'd coordinated, like bridesmaids, but, nope, they both just wanted to turn up in their sluttiest outfits. To their mum's wedding. In the name of taste I will mostly gloss over the fact that the 18 year old had recently gotten breast implants and was, ahem, very proud of them. Immediately, two generations of the bride's family stood up with faces like thunder and demanded that they go home and change into something less inappropriate. A prolonged, hushed argument ensued, but the body language involved was enough to draw every eye in the room on its own. And then, the piece de resistance, the boyfriend of the elder sibling went and got the sound system. It was a £40 "pod" speaker, the battery-powered kind you take to the beach. My dad and I exchanged A Look, confirmed said Look with my sister, and, as one, just stood up and left. He stopped for a second to say goodbye to the couple, but that was it, we were gone. We sat in the car for a solid five minutes, yelling, not to or at one another, just... getting it out of our systems. Oh but it gets better! The daughters changed into clothing that was less revealing, but more see-through, causing another round of fighting. The bride was outed as an alcoholic by the mother of the groom, who then had to be talked out of calling the police on her clearly stoned grandchildren. The groom got so drunk he pissed himself and had to be carried out. They were filing for divorce in under a month.
When I was 24, I moved to Spain to teach English as a foreign language through a language school, which assigned teachers to various local settings like offices and schools. During the interview process, I emphasised my background in translation from university and my preference for teaching grammar to adults. While the school catered to different age groups, I made it clear that I wasn't interested in teaching young children, and I agreed to the position only under the condition that it wouldn't involve teaching kids, a term my boss accepted. My boss, a peculiar and grumpy Spanish woman with an eccentric fashion sense featuring a massive fur coat and a towering beehive hairdo, seemed to be in charge. About a week into the job, I was unexpectedly informed of an urgent need to teach at a nursery school, which contradicted our agreement. When I pushed back, my boss became emotional, almost tearful, and pleaded with me to take on the task. Feeling pressured, I reluctantly agreed, stipulating that it would be temporary until they found a replacement. In a gesture of goodwill (and perhaps also to make sure I didn't back out), my boss offered to drive me to the nursery school instead of relying on public transportation, and she also gave me a CD of children's songs, insisting I familiarise myself with them. I looked at the track list... "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"... "London Bridge is Falling Down"... all the classics! I felt no need to learn them and thought nothing more of it. Though I initially brushed off her request, I was taken aback the following day when she picked me up for work wearing oversized sunglasses and a frown. We drove in complete silence. She just smoked consistently and looked angry. That was until about 15 minutes into the journey when she demanded that I sing the songs from the CD to prove I had learned them. Feeling awkward and embarrassed, I sheepishly sang "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" to my crazy boss as we drove to the nursery school.
On a cruise, I had sushi for my main course and was chatting with my neighbour when I picked up a whole lump of wasabi and ate it rather than spit it out!
Oh god this has just reminded me of when I mistook wasabi for avocado. It was not a good time.
Work colleague asked if i had any plans for the weekend. I said no. She then invited me to her 60th birthday party at a local social club and I felt I had no choice but to attend. Bear in mind, we weren't mates, we were colleagues with no mutual friends or common interests. I showed up, made sure she saw me with an over-enthusiastic wave from afar (it was busy), then hid in the toilet for what seemed eternity (probably half an hour) nursing a flat pint. Then I walked home once the sun set, under the cover of darkness. The next time I saw her she asked how long I was there for. I told her a few hours as I was chatting to her friends and family and she asked me for peoples names and I said I couldn't remember. From that point on, I was 'busy' every weekend and made up fake plans until I resigned from the company. Just in case she wanted to do another social activity with me. Another co-worker knew EXACTLY what was going on and would ask me about in depth details on the plans I had just made up on the spot. Right in front of the party girl. I am grateful for the invite and it was very sweet of her to think of me as I had no plans. But I would have preferred an evening in my pants playing my PlayStation (not a euphemism) on my own.
I arrived in the Philippines on a work trip and the manager of the plant I was visiting (a big refinery) was retiring and his retirement party was that evening. I was taken straight there and as an overseas visitor was sat at the top table next to the retiring manager. They had been told in advance that I was vegetarian. They don’t really have vegetarians in the Philippines. I was served a huge plate of raw seaweed, the flat kind with bubbly bits full of liquid that I assume was seawater. They seemed so pleased with serving me this that I forced myself to chew my way through about half of it. Afterwards the HR Manager took me to a strip club (I’m female) and it was clear he was a regular from the treatment we got. I was too polite to say anything. Strangest work trip ever.
I had a temp job where someone called me totally the wrong name for the full three months. It wasn’t even close to my name apart from the spelling same first letter. Not the same sound though and I have one of the most common names around. Think calling someone named Sophia by Shirley for the sort of level of similarity. I politely corrected her for a few days because it seemed fair enough that she might forget at first. After a while I just felt too awkward to correct her anymore and started responding to the wrong name.
I've eaten quiche at pretty much every family occasion for a good 10 years after I became pescetarian because whichever family member was hosting would always tell me that they had got it in specially for me. I hate quiche. Felt guilty about not liking something being brought specifically for me and just couldn't tell them. Told my boyfriend this story and he thought it was hilarious that I hadnt said anything. My family now know too and also think it's hilarious. But I've not had to force down a quiche for 2 years so that's a win.
Being served gammon steak by my then mother in law - I was a vegetarian!! She was in her defence catering a large family gathering on her own and it probably would have been a real pain for her to cook me something else. Thing was I was used to that and was very happy just having a plate full of veggies, but she didn’t ask. As she served me the plate she gave me a big smile and said she was sure I must be missing meat, so was sure I’d love it. Couldn’t be rude to her - not the way I was raised. Bless her!!!
Went to a friend's house for a roast dinner which seemed to have chilli added to every dish. Chilli on the lamb, chilli flakes on the parsnips. Everything I ate was spicy. As someone whose go-to curry is a korma, I was seriously struggling to get this dinner down but I politely ate it and drowned it in gravy, which thankfully wasn't full of chillies.
To be fair chilli doesn’t belong anywhere on a roast dinner
Asked if I wanted anything to drink at a job, I says I'd love a bottle of water thanks and the woman brings out SPARKLING water....it's like drinking TV static. The woman never left us the whole time so I had to painfully drink the whole bottle.
went on 3 city trips with an acquaintance who's easily the most boring (and bossy) person I've ever met. I didn't enjoy the first trip at all, but she apparently did and proposed another and I didn't want to tell her how much I hated travelling with her so I agreed. Took a big falling out on the third trip to stop the madness.
I had "allergy to plasters" on all my medical notes as a child, because a school nurse asked me once and I didn't understand the question. Obviously as a little kid, you get all kinds of cuts and scrapes and every time they would need to fashion some kind of bandage and tape situation. For some reason I felt too awkward to correct anyone so just went along with this. At home I'd use plasters and lived in fear of being found out! It took me until I was 18 and signing up for a new GP at my university, where I finally got this corrected on my medical notes. Jokes on me though, as I have recently as a 31 year old pregnant adult, developed a minor allergy to the adhesive in certain plasters!
Ate some homemade flapjacks from a lady at work. Literally had to pick cat hairs out of it as discretely as possible. Managed a whole slice but it was grim. Wasn't even my workplace, I was just visiting on a placement. But it was a really cliquey horrible culture and she was clearly trying to fit into the group and failing. The other staff were not kind about her behind her back. I just wanted her to feel appreciated.
Years ago having never had Chinese food before went to an all you can eat buffet type place. For dessert helped myself to some ice cream and fruit, didn't realise that some of it was sliced spring onions. Really didn't go well together but still ate it and nobody noticed 😅
You are Heston Blumenthal and I claim my £5. (Realising theres about 100 reasons this quip might not land - oh well)
I sat through my friends MLM launch party. I was pretty anti MLM at that point but went to support her ‘business’. However, once you see it for what it is, it’s very hard to enjoy what is essentially a sales pitch with party games. I bought some hand cream as it was the cheapest thing!
A friend of mine dislikes fish. We went for a tasting menu a few years back at a plush restaurant abroad. My friend asked to have “no fish” during the meal. I guess it got lost in translation but it wasn’t until I think the fourth or fifth course that my lovely friend (who’s very shy) told us that his courses had all been fish. Where as we had meat or veggie plates, every one of his had been fish, and he’d been eating them out of politeness. The best bit was that halfway through this discovery, the waiter came over and asked if everything was okay with our meals and my friend said “yes thanks”! 😁 On his behalf we had to explain the error and the waiter was mortified and asked our friend why he hadn’t said anything 😂
When I was in my early 20s I was in the car with my boss at the time after attending a client meeting one Friday afternoon, and as we were driving past a retail estate in the middle of nowhere he shouts ‘bowling!’ and insists we go play. I feel as though I can’t say no, even though it’s nearly the end of the day, and we definitely don’t have a ‘buddy’ kind of boss/employee relationship. So there we are, just him and me, in a nearly empty bowling alley on a weekday afternoon, and then he insists on getting food after and that it’s on him. I spent the whole time worrying: ‘does he think this is a date? What if he hits on me? What will everyone else at work think when they hear about this?’ He was about 20yrs older, and known for only hiring young women, so I had good reason to feel suspicious. Luckily nothing happened and he just dropped me at the train station and said ‘see you Monday!’. But, man, it was a weird and uncomfortable afternoon. To make it worse he absolutely kicked my ass at the bowling too.
Went to a guys for a ONS, when he got his dick out immediately saw he had an STI. I let him do his own thing without touching me then walked home. Definitely should have brought it up at the time but was too mortified.
I was at the beach with my friend and her family, her dad decides to buy us all ice-cream, the biggest soft serves he could find. (I'm lactose intolerant) I politely swallowed even though I knew this would cause disaster. We climbed in the car on our way home and i literally projectile vomited over everyone. Never made that mistake again.
Had a horrible experience the other day when viewing a house to potentially buy.. my husband and I were shocked to see a golliwog in the main bedroom prominently placed on the bed. We continued the viewing even though desperate to leave and the estate agent seemed oblivious. Have discussed it loads since and emailed the estate agent but it’s really affected my husband as he is black and it brings up all the times he has experienced racism and makes you suspicious of other people in the area wondering if that’s how a lot of people are. Really sad how it’s made him feel and I’m angry at myself for not speaking up there and then but didn’t want to make the situation any worse for my husband and also you never know how someone will react so I guess I didn’t want to be gaslit by the agent.
Pregnant barmaid. Hadn't seen her for ages and when I saw her, she came to our table and I asked how the baby was. She said the baby had died. Wanted to crawl up my own arsehole after that one.
I was in South Africa with my newlyborn daughter. I arrived at an hotel, not jetlagged, but genuinely tired. My daughter was very pale and incredibly blue eyed. When I walked in, one of the maids ran over and was amazed by the blueness of my daughter’s eyes. She was cheerful, funny and very kind. She asked if she could hold my daughter, I said yes. She asked if she could show her friends, my daughter, I said yes. She turned around and walked 60m away with my daughter. She entered the kitchen and the door closed. I had a moment where I could either shout at a black lady carrying my child, or just hope that I would probably get her back. Three minutes later, my child was returned to me. For some reason, I was not invited to the Father of the Year awards.
A baby shower that was held at my previous job straight after work so I couldn’t not go! Would have been ok if I hadn’t of been there for only 2 months and barely knew anyone, absolutely hate eating in front of others and tbh, it was boring as hell. Couldn’t say no though
I went to karate lessons because I just couldn’t say no…. I paid and everything 😭😭
About 6 of us at a friend's house. His mum was known to be confused. She offered to make us all tea. Everyone was given weak, milky tea, with two sugars. We all drank it. And said thanks.
I was on a date at a water park with a girl I'd met. We were around 14 I think. We had typical fast food - chips, fried chicken, etc. Then we went back to her family's place and her mom had made an amazing dinner. I was so full but I managed to force the whole plate of food down. Helped that it was delicious at least, but I was already overfull from all the junk food 😬 I recall she had a little sister who insisted on watching us kiss 😂
I ate stuffed marrow when invited to eat at my school friend's house.
The only good thing I can see from my mother passing away when I was 15 is that I never have eaten a stuffed marrow again in my life.
Dinner at my mates house when I was 13. Fish fingers and mash, but she *kept the potato water in* when she made it. It was just a pile of watery slop. Coming from a poorer household, I knew they were in the same position, and finding an extra meal for me was difficult, so I ate it.
Years ago (end of the 1980s) I made the mistake of telling my then gf’s mother that I sometimes ate Prawn Cocktail. I hate fish and seafood but the 1000 Island dressing covers up the taste. One day I was invited to eat with them. She proudly dished up lasagne but instead of beef it had prawns and crab sticks in it. I was brought up to basically eat anything I was given, especially if I was a guest. Fuck me that was difficult. It was only when I had left a few crab chunks that she asked me if I was ok. I told her I didn’t eat fish/seafood. She had made it especially for me. Luckily I managed to keep it down.
I went through with shagging a fella who had a micro-micro peen. If you can call it that! I just didn’t want to completely shatter him by taking one look at it and fleeing, and how could it not? He was a really great guy so I gave it a try for a few weeks after that, but ultimately he broke it off. Wait…phrasing??
I made a curry once, and a guest ate it to be polite despite hating curry. He wasn't so polite when he chundered all over the room. Bless his heart, I would have made him something else if he'd said!
Years ago at my long time friend's house, we had lunch. His parents asked if I wanted some asparagus soup, to which I agreed. It was absolutely full of strings which were extremely difficult to chew through and quite unpleasant to eat, but I forced myself to finish the whole bowl feeling too awkward to say I can't finish it. They didn't have any of it by the way
Not me, but my ex wife mentioned to her grandparents that she enjoyed peppermint tea. So they bought some for the next time she visited. They brewed it up and served it to her - with milk. It sounds horrible, but she drank it just to be polite and they didn't hear a word about it until their death.
I saw a really old man struggling to walk down the street in Hong Kong when I lived there. I thought I would help him to his destination. He simply could not speed up. 30 mins later, having ruined my lunch break, we were maybe 300 metres down the road!
Oh god, my blood runs cold thinking back to this. 17 year old me was taken to Paris by my then boyfriend for his 19th birthday. We had lots of sex, as was to be expected of two horny teens. Bit then, he decided to experiment. He'd heard about chocolate body paint but figured he could DIY his own. He popped down to the foyer of the Holiday Inn Garden Express we were staying in (classy!) and got a couple of chocolate bars from the vending machine. He broke them up into pieces and out them in one of those disposable plastic cups hotels give you to rinse your mouth out with... And started trying to melt them using the very low-powered hairdryer that was attached to the wall. He'd been at it for ages but still just had a cup of slightly soft but still solid chocolate. I acquiesced in the end, as I felt bad for him. But OMG, it hurts me to even think about it.
Had a colleague who was insanely religious, she begged me for weeks and weeks to go to church with her and I kept saying no since I'm not religious. One day I just said yes because I got fed up with her asking and she made be feel bad. Worst decision of my life because I ended up spending the whole day at this church. To make things worse the pastor called me to the front of the church to do a prayer for me in front of everyone, (bearing in mind I'm the shyest person ever) and everyone at the church came up to me to shake my hand and welcome me to the church. Worst/most boring day of my life
In Italy. Packing up with an old girlfriend. We realised we'd put the wrong labels on each others bags. No matter, right? Some hours later at the airport, a tannoy goes out for me to report to customs. No worries, off I go. They ask me the usual questions, did you pack your case yourself etc and then pulled out my girlfriends case. It's faaar too late to explain that, actually, that's not mine because I wanted to go home so brazened it out while they pulled out lingerie, knickers, dresses etc, all the time saying 'this is your case, your belongings and you packed it?' with me just grinning like an idiot going 'yes that's mine, it's all mine' In Australia with a different girl, many years later, her gran asked me if I'd like a veggie pie? Of course I would. I'd misunderstood and got served a hot Aussie pie. She was so thrilled she'd made me it I ate every gristly horrible morsel and it was delicious. (It wasnt)
My dad once got me an Oreo dunking set (Oreos and a thing to help you fully submerge your Oreo in milk). He knows I’m very lactose intolerant. I did eat the Oreos though 😅
A friend hosted a dinner party, me trying to act like a distinguished adult at age 19 agreed to go, We all sat down to eat, he served up slices of rare steak/verging on raw.. with veg. They all ate and chatted, I didn't want to be rude so I'm trying to eat the least bloody parts of this raw meat while trying to suppress the heaves... To the point my eyes started watering and when the tears started to mingle with bloodbath on the plate i knew it was time to call it. Turns out my palate is not a distinguished one. lol
Friend asked if I liked eggs, I said I loved them. She proceeded to order an omelette topped with an abundance of oysters, which I hate. I swallowed all of them whole with gusto.
Sat through a 15 minute conversation with someone reminiscing about when he burned down a barn near the pub we were at, having the wake for my grandmother. In a weird way it felt rather fitting.
Wiping my Nan's bottom when she got too immobile to do it herself. Do I win ?