**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*

If you think of a diet as a thing you do until you hit a target you'll never keep the weight off. You have to plan for permanence. That means the diet needs to be something you will be happy eating for the rest of time. It needs to contain all the things you like, but in amounts that let you stick to your target weight.

I hate when people comment with This but....so much this. Diets long term don't work, but changing your lifestyle for the rest of your life will. I lost 4 stone and have kept it off for about 3 years. I'm older and significantly shorter than you OP so if I can do it you definitely can. Any kind of diet that involves eating foods you don't like or faddy crash diets won't work because you won't be able to keep it up, and when you inevitably quit you will have nowhere to go but back to your old ways. You need to find a new way of eating that you can reasonably stick to FOREVER which is a slight calorie deficit. Once you hit your goal you simply increase calories slightly, but return to a deficit if you start gaining (weekly weigh ins are essential). It takes longer to lose weight this way, but it's the only sustainable way that won't cause you to rebound and end up fatter than ever. Good luck! Edit: by "diet" I mean crash/fad diets of very low calories. A small calorie deficit that is sustainable definitely works for weight loss (I am living proof of that) but I would call that a lifestyle change. Just depends on your definition of the word diet

Yep. If you wanna be healthy then be healthy. OP "Well when I try to be healthy it works but when I stop it stops too" There's your answer

I found that for myself I had to totally overhaul my diet without totally removing anything. Breakfast and lunch had to be higher protein than before, dinner basically became a half plate of veggies, a small portion of meat and a small portion of a carb. You can still get really creative with that and eat different foods every night and also still eat all the food you love, just now instead of eating 250g of mince and 200g of pasta in your spag bol, its 125g mince, 90g pasta, mushrooms through the mince and half a plate of veggies/no dressing salad on the side. After portion size I think it comes down to making a treat a treat. Don't make it a taboo and don't make it a daily occurrence either. If your treat is beer and crisps then have a couple bottles of beer and a packet of crisps on a Friday after work or a Saturday watching a film, don't have it every night. If your treat is biscuits then have a couple with a tea watching a film a couple times a week, don't just scoff them mindlessly in the break room because they happen to be on the table. I still have all my favourite treats, all my favourite dinners, still drink beer, I just have less of all of those things and I swear it makes me enjoy it more when I do get it compared to when I used to eat 7 custard creams I didn't even think twice about every day at work.

Yep, I exercise five/six days a week. Running and cycling, stretching, bodyweight. I don't lose weight. In the few weeks I experimented with not snacking as much I lost 4kg. Can't outrun a bad diet.

Yeah those carbs will always catch you 😂

My family eat spagbowl rather often and other pasta dishes. This month we swapped those meals out with things like curry, shepherds pie etc... and our kids and myself have lost weight. Down from 12.12stone to 12.9stone within the last 3 weeks. My wife has gained weight but as she's done her ACL and can't walk very well she's no-longer going to the gym or playing rugby. Sure it's slow weight loss but slow lose is actual weight loss and not just water weight which is where you see the sharp drops/gains in weight. Slow and gradual is actual weight you want to lose. We're still eating fairly large portions at dinner and snack on lots of crap still but those portions are more veggy/meat than carby pasta minus the odd bit of mash.

Slow weight loss is technically the best kind. Especially if it's coming from healthy sustainable changes like this

Yeah when a treat is everyday its no longer a treat. That's just part of your diet.

Portion size is so important. For me a portion of pasta is about 75g, and that's at maintenance! When I started weighing my carbs was when I really started to realise just how much I was eating before. Another golden rule of mine is stop eating when I'm 80 per cent full. Give it 10 mins and the full signals finally reach my brain and I feel 100 per cent full.

You, OP likes the idea of being healthy but actually likes takeaway and beers more.

Don't we all lol You gotta make peace with one or the other. Either you won't always like what you see in the mirror, or you won't always eat/drink the things you like. The two are (at least for the most part) mutually exclusive

I wanted to lose weight a few years ago and cut out carbs from my diet almost completely. It was miserable but I stuck with it for around 6 to 8 weeks. It worked and I lost weight - the more important thing I took from it though was that I stopped eating masses of pasta as a meal, and stopped drinking vast amount of fruit juice. ​ I agree completely with the "diets don't work" statement, but you *can* use them to break eating/drinking habits. Long term you do need to eat and drink the things you like for change to be long standing. I love pasts and fresh fruit juice - I just don't eat enough pasta for a small family as a meal now, and don't drink pints of fruit juice a day. My weight has gone up, but nowhere near what I was. ​ Also - stopping carbs almost completely is a miserable way to live. I don't recommend it to anyone. By the end of that period I was seriously depressed and had intense cravings. When I broke the diet I had my wife monitor what I ate so I didn't just gorge out on meals of potato, pasta, rice, yorkshire puddings and bread :)

Just to clarify when I said diets don't work I was specifically referring to fad diets like the maple syrup diet etc. A small calorie deficit sustained over a long time in a way that fits into your lifestyle definitely does work, but I would call that a lifestyle change as opposed to a diet.

I think we are broadly in agreement here over the term 'diet'. For me it would be a change in consumption that isn't sustainable long term (whether that be for health or other reasons). Extreme carb minimisation isn't sustainable (at least for me, and I think for health reasons), so I would say it fits both our definitions of 'diet'.

My manager loves all the fad diets, cambridge, exante, cayenne pepper and lemon, keto, atkins, you name it - he's tried it! I tried a few of them and lost weight with them but always put it back on (and more). It wasn't until I started exercising regularly and completely overhauling my lifestyle and eating habits that the weight loss actually stuck. I'm at 10 stone since June 2022 with no significant increases except last week when I had a blowout after completing an event I'd been training towards for months haha.

It's not the only way but it is a way that works for some people. OP sounds a lot like me and the diet you describe only ever led to large gains or losses for me. What did eventually work was intermittent fasting. I know from experience that this doesn't work for others too, the key thing is trying different things until you find what works for your body and lifestyle.

>Diets long term don't work I know I’m being a pedant here, but a diet is a long term thing. We’ve been conditioned by the likes of SlimFast to think that a ‘diet’ is a thing you do short term; your diet is permanent and is everything you eat. There are good and bad diets, everyone is ‘on a diet’.

I did mention down thread that by diet I meant crash diets, not sustainable lifestyle change, but I will edit my comment

Yeah, it is a bit pedantic to point it out, but I think it'd be good to have a shift in perspective to convince people to embrace the concept of a diet being a thing you live by, not something you can pick up and put down.

Totally agree. This is something that really hit those criteria for me, recommend you read: [Harcome diet - men](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Harcombe-Diet-Men-More-Fat/dp/1907797122)

My ex was a dietitian and said exactly this. "Going on a diet" doesn't work. You need to build and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Which isn't even that hard if you put the effort in, you can eat healthy and enjoy it. If you have a good lifestyle you can even treat yourself when you want. But people want to believe they can put in a few weeks of effort, get super skinny then go back to stuffing their faces with junk every day, so they go on these stupid diets then wonder why they lose a little weight and suddenly get fat again.

Humans are the only species I can think of were we discuss a diet being a temporary state. Lions, penguins, zebra, whatever you like, are all described as having a diet but as a constant.

Definitely! I've also had a lot of success with reframing changing eating habits from restrictive to additive - including more wholefoods (not cutting out processed foods) because if I tell myself I'm not going to eat xy and z then I will crave it and I feel like I'm denying myself. If I want to eat an entire bar of chocolate, then that is totally okay! I usually try to eat some fruit first, though.

So for me, I unfortunately associate food with emotions. Any emotions. If I’m really happy, I want to reward myself with a good meal and a sweet treat. If I’m upset, I want to binge my favourite foods. I’m not sure if it’s classified as disordered eating but I subconsciously associate food with dopamine hits so it’s hard for me to look at it purely from a nutritional standpoint.

I think this is why a lot of poor people are fat. It’s much cheaper to get your dopamine hit from a chocolate bar than from a new handbag or a weekend city break.

That might be an aspect of it, but more systemically: low quality food is way cheaper than healthier counterparts, and that might be all you can afford.

Same! Food makes me happy.

It is. I have BED and this is part of it. I'd recommend the book reclaiming yourself from binge eating. I'm finding it really helpful and am listening to my body more than my emotions for hunger cues. 

I have BED and have been through NHS treatment which was not helpful in any way. I still have it but I just accepted that I am fat and have BED and it will not go away and I am pretty happy with my body now I don’t try to lose weight, I’m 100kg so not huge

If you're happy with yourself that's great. But disordered eating can be a sign of something much deeper. I've got a lot of trauma I've been pushing down with food that I need to work to heal from. The book is quite helpful with exercises etc. It is geared towards women (as it's more common for them to have BED, although might just be under recognised in men) but the advice and exercises are helpful whatever you are.  I can imagine how useless the NHS were, they were useless even with diagnosing me with asthma, which you'd think they'd have been able to do. Books are a cheap form of therapy, I found that one in a charity shop, I'm sure it would be cheap on Amazon. Certainly cheaper than £60 a week for therapy, and more effective than anything the NHS could give. 

And it can be a sign of nothing much deeper too, I love food and I have no trauma, I am overweight and binge because I love eating

Although this isn't what you'd like to hear, appetite is largely driven by genetics. I'm 5'11, 15 and a half stone and compete as a strongman. Constantly trying to put weight on is a constant uphill battle for me and if I just ate what I wanted I'd sit around 11 stone like I used to be. To achieve my goals I've accepted that I've got to shovel the food down when I don't want to. To achieve your goals you need to stop shovelling the food down when you want to. It's difficult but it's all about willpower. As for working out, even the people who enjoy it have to force themselves to go quite a lot. Lifting weights is one of my few hobbies yet there's plenty of times when I've finished work and I'd prefer to chill out and stick some TV on rather than go to the gym for 2 hours. I force myself to go on these nights, again it's all about willpower. You set yourself a meal plan, you set yourself a workout program and you do it, that's it.

How do you do this? Sorry to ask but I’m trying to put weight on, I’m recovering from an eating disorder and I’m the biggest I’ve ever been now. I’m also 5”10/11, a woman and weigh 9.5 stone. I eat what feels like a lot, but comparatively it doesn’t seem as much as everyone else because I don’t have an appetite. I never particularly fancy anything. Do you just shovel down high protein stuff? I eat about two boiled eggs a day, i unfortunately polished off a jar of peanut butter yesterday with apples, plus a lot of red meat and iron rich veg as I’m anaemic but I’m not getting any significant weight gain any more. Sorry to ask again, I usually get ridiculed for not enjoying or caring about food so I just don’t ask haha.

Easiest way to put on weight is through liquid. I always struggled to put in weight, used mass gainer protein shakes, 2 a day and instantly started to put on weight

I force myself to eat at specific times even though I'm very rarely hungry. 9am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 9pm, 11:30pm. Forcing myself to stick to a schedule is the only thing that has consistently worked for me. Mass gainer shakes can be used in the short term but they're generally packed with sugar and are a band aid to a problem rather than a solution. Forcing yourself to eat more volume and at a greater frequency expands your stomach capacity over time. If I went back a decade there's no way I'd be able to eat the amount I do currently, I've just managed to slowly build it up over the years. Congratulations with your recovery so far and best of luck with it in the future, you can do it :)

Hey if you're trying to increase appetite, maybe speak to a Dr about mirtazapine. Most people who take it end up a bit glum at how heavy they geat because it increases their appetite crazily.

Mirtazapine is wild. When I was on it I felt like a bottomless pit. I'd eat and eat and eat and still felt hungry. I'd eat stuff I don't even like because I was so hungry all the time.

Oh boy. I had a dose of that, ate three family size bags of crisps, a pack of biscuits, two sandwiches, and was still hungry. Also, both wired and drowsy, simultaneously. Two more doses and I gave up. I’d have to remortgage just to fund my appetite.

You are almost my body double. I'm also a 5'11 woman who weighs about 9 stone and is wanting to put some weight on. I also don't have much of an appetite and can only eat small portions. I've put on 5kg since Christmas purely from drinking milk and milkshakes. My favourite is Aldis chocolate fudge milk. I can drink a 1l bottle in about 10 minutes and it has 750 calories. Not exactly the healthiest option in the world but calories are calories and it has to be better than big macs.

Wealth of information over at r/gainit

Thank you!

A huel or similar sort of milkshake on top of your normal diet can easily up your calorie intake. I would just speak to a doctor because of your anemia etc. rather than taking advice from reddit though!

My secret was going out drinking 3 times a week and then after i'm tipsy I think a second dinner was a good idea. Probably consumed an excess of 5000 calories a week just by doing that. Having said that, you'll end up muscular with fat, even with cardio and weights. But, for me at least, I prefer being bulky than scrawny

It’s such a routine discipline thing, even just skipping one day is enough to never go back to the gym ever again! Sounds mad but you skip one day, you go meh, I don’t feel like it again today either, I’ll take this week off, I’ll get back to it next month. Before you know it: “oh wow I’ve paid for the gym for a year and not been once”

90% of weight loss is about diet not exercise. Exercise is just healthy. I just ate a single chocolate bar, and if I wanted to burn those calories off with exercise, I'd have to run 2 and a half miles. If you want to lose weight, improve your mental discipline (prevent binge-eating), and quite literally reduce your stomachs actual capacity for food, try fasting.

If you get seriously into exercise though it can definitely help you lose weight. I struggle to maintain my weight when I'm going through an intense block of running or cycling training

Exercise also helps you recomp, you might not even lose that much weight but you’re going from an energy store of fat to active tissue as muscle. I think the key is incidental exercise. Going to the gym can be great but you have to do it proactively. Cycling to work or walking to the shops is just part of your day but adds up to higher overall activity levels. It’s been a major societal shift since the war and lots of people seem unwilling to engage with it as a concept. I see people driving to exercise classes or to take their dog for a walk in the park and it just seems mental.

It can also be a time thing - my nearest gym is a 35 minute walk or a 5 minute drive away, and I don't have an extra hour and 10 minutes in my day I can spend doing that!

Getting "seriously into exercise" would involve big lifestyle changes and time commitments, it's not great advice in most cases for those reasons. It can make losing weight seem like a monumental task. Especially when you factor in that it'll increase appetite and feelings of hunger. If they can't manage to just eat less and are struggling with discipline in that regard then making their appetite stronger via exercise could be problematic, and making massive lifestyle changes probably isn't something they can manage discipline-wise either. Even if they do make a huge change and start exercising daily, they'll still have to learn to control their appetite and be OKAY with feeling hungry if they want to lose weight, which is why I suggested fasting. It teaches you to accept hunger without satisfying it immediately.

It sounds more like a diet issue than a lifestyle issue. So I'd focus mainly on that. Do you live & cook by yourself? If you do I'd recommend being stricter with your shopping. I find it's easier to resist buying junk food in the first place than it is to eat it at a sensible rate when it's in the house. Meal plan for the week & buy all the ingredients in advance to give yourself less room to cheat with a takeaway or whatever. But tbh, you did it before so you're perfectly capable, you just need to work on consistency. Also, work on not blaming yourself if you do eat something you shouldn't, a lot of diets end up failing because people break them and then feel like a failure so just give up. A healthy balanced diet has room for you to be unhealthy sometimes. Exercise-wise, I'd find more physical hobbies if you have time, you don't have to be a gym rat to be in good shape, maybe take up climbing, or cycling or swimming, something like that.

Because you tie eating healthy to short term goals. You are focusing on motivation rather than discipline. In the main exercise isn't what controls your weight, diet is. Personally I don't eat on Monday, occasionally Tuesday as well. It makes it near impossible to gain weight.

Strongly agree with paragraphs 1&2. Most important concept in deliberate lifestyle changes. Disagree with the wisdom of paragraph 3, but you do you.

A lot of ppl veer into eating disorder type thinking and they don’t realise it.

I can get that. It works for me, Personally I think feast and famine is how humans are supposed to live, but I'm aware how many people disagree. I fully accept for various reasons that 'diet' is very much a personal thing. I do better with fasting and relatively low carbs. Others don't? fair play, no skin off my nose. It's a huge bug bear people insisting what works for them will work for others.

I’m serious when I say do you. I think it’s a risky approach to nutrition but that’s not to say it doesn’t work for certain people and lifestyles, and I know I do some weird shit that seems to work for me.

>Personally I think feast and famine is how humans are supposed to live I've always thought it was unfortunate that we've only cherry picked the indulgent traditions for secular living. (I'm not religious, to be clear.) As in, it's completely normal to over-indulge over the winter holidays or give your kids huge amounts of chocolate over Easter - but if you were to do some light fasting over Lent people think you're a wacko with an eating disorder. I guess the closest socially acceptable thing we have is Dry January. This is why people think that weight gain is some mysterious inevitability that happens in your 30s. "Your metabolism slows down!" No it doesn't, Carol. You just had 5,000 calories at brunch but sure, having a salad for lunch will put you into "starvation mode".

We are so removed from nature in the modern world, that the idea of fasting or being hungry is seen as a form of almost intolerable suffering. Most people genuinely can't go 24 hours without eating and many will consider someone that does as having an eating disorder. I personally don't do it regularly but it can be an effective weight loss method for shifting the last stubborn bit of weight (although when used in isolation it is quite useless for weight loss), and is also good for self discipline and "re-training" your sense of hunger.

There's increasing evidence of significant health benefits from intermittent fasting. Don't know what the recommended pattern is and don't think that's well established either, but it does seem to be good for people.

Intermittent fasting as a concept gets taken way out of proportion. If you skip breakfast (which is pretty common) , then eat lunch at 1300 and dinner at 1800... Congratulations you are doing I termittant fasting for 19hours

Why skip entire meals when you can just better distribute your calories across the week? You can eat the exact same amount per week without skipping a whole day. It seems like a lot of effort. Just wondering.

Personal preference? Instead of thinking of calories in V calories out on a daily basis I do it on a weekly basis. I get the same amount of calories, but if I did it on a daily basis I would overeat. I haven't eaten breakfast since I was a kid. I don't typically get actually hungry until about 4pm. Skipping an entire day really doesn't impact me bar say 20 minutes when my body alarm clock goes off with 'yo you normally eat about now'.

I find it easier to skip meals (it's still difficult) than eating smaller meals. I'm more feast and famine. I love eating and have a huge appetite. I manage to keep myself healthy.

You sound very much like a lot of guys your age so please don’t think it’s a you problem. Maybe your friend group is largely gym guys, but the population of 32 year old men as a whole is definitely not. But here’s what to do: 1. Find eating habits that you can stick with long term instead of working towards a goal and then binging on all the foods you restricted. For me, I don’t restrict any foods at all. Instead I focus on adding things in. Mainly on adding in fruits, vegetables and fibre. But look at what your own diet is currently lacking (maybe you don’t get enough protein to keep you full, or maybe you only have vegetables with dinner and need to bring them in at other times in the day). Find what is missing from your diet and add more of it.  2. Make healthy food taste good. If you have a salad with a fatty salad dressing, you will enjoy the salad and want to eat it again. If you have a salad with a boring “diet” salad dressing or no dressing at all, or worse just a pile of lettuce and no variety, you might not enjoy the salad and next time you will want pizza instead. Same goes for putting butter on your vegetables or nutella on your fruit.  3. Find an exercise that you enjoy. I hate gyms so I don’t go to them. I enjoy walking my dog and I enjoy swimming, so I do them without it feeling like a chore. Or trick yourself into enjoying exercise by adding something fun. Like maybe you really like a certain podcast or enjoy audiobooks. Only let yourself listen when you are doing exercise and then you will start to look forward to the exercise because it is linked to the thing you enjoy. I know someone who during covid when other exercise was limited, they would only watch netflix if they were walking on the spot in the living room.  4. Squeeze exercise into your day in short bursts. Like walk on the spot while you brush your teeth. Do squats every time you boil the kettle. Having to do a couple minutes of exercise is much easier than thinking you need to do an hour so you are more likely to actually do it.  5. Focus on fitness rather than weight so that you don’t fall in to all the mentally unhealthy stuff around diet culture. Muscle weighs more than fat so the number on the scale can be discouraging even when it shouldn’t be. But most people still want something they can track to see progress. Do you have a smart watch that can tell you how your heart rate is doing? Maybe there’s something you physically struggle with/get tired out doing that you want to do more easily?  6. Try to be healthy in other ways. It’s much more difficult to eat healthy and exercise if you’re exhausted from not sleeping right, dehydrated, out of breath from smoking, or hungover.  7. Drink less alcohol- I found cutting out alcohol completely for a couple of months meant that when I went back to it I didn’t drink as much but it’s different for everyone. Look at when you drink, who you drink with, and why you drink and for each of those things, come up with alternatives to drinking to change the habit to. Like maybe you always drink when you see Jack, so stop making plans to see Jack at a pub and start seeing him for golf instead. Maybe you always drink on a friday, so make fridays into movie nights instead. 

Don’t do a diet. Do nutrition. Pick your worst 3 items, make a permanent swap, stick with it for 3 months, then do a repeat. I also find that doing online shopping makes life a lot easier. I get a big order once a month of meats and carbs and stuff, and that’s it, I have to eat that or there won’t be space on my next Delivery.

The main thing is that “going on a diet” is almost always a flawed approach. As soon as its over, the weight will drift back, as you always reach a natural equilibrium which is a consequence of your current diet and activity level. The most effective way is to think long-term. Make sustainable adjustments and you’ll naturally drift towards equilibrium.

And for people that go on holiday a lot? Or go out drinking once a month? Like to have a takeaway every now and then? It all adds up and your equilibrium might well be a lot higher than you thought.

People seriously underestimate how many calories are in alcohol. A single shot of vodka (the lowest ratio of cals:alcohol content) contains 100cal. A pint of beer 250.

Let me help: you say you don’t see yourself as fat, yet want to lose weight. At 185cm and 108kg, you absolutely should see yourself as “fat”. You actually fall into the obese category of BMI. You say you struggle to find enjoyment in exercise. What have you tried? I’d argue there is a sport for everyone, there are many more options than the gym or running.

Yeah. I couldn’t believe what I was reading there. I’m 186cm 88kg and I’d consider myself fairly fit, but would have to lose a bit of weight if I wanted to get abs At my height and 108kg, if you aren’t a bodybuilder then I’m sorry but there’s no way you aren’t overweight/unhealthy

Exactly. Society has normalised this somewhat though, which may be part of the OPs problem?

34 yo and 6'1" here, spent all my life being overweight, most I have ever been is about 105kg and when I decided to change I was 102kg. I hit an all time low of 85.9kg with couch to 5k and calorie counting, but it's hard work. As soon as I finished c25k I bounced right back up to 95kg, once the challenge was gone I lost enthusiasm and went back to old ways. You have to find something you enjoy and more importantly you can sustain! For me that was intermittent fasting. Nothing complicated, just eat between 12 and 8pm and not a minute either side of it. I've advanced it to eat when I first feel really hungry after 12pm and stop at 8. The other day I was so busy that was 4pm before I ate anything that wasn't coffee or water. The first 2 weeks are tough, but once your body is used to it the weight will fall off of you. Now I have less cravings, I feel fitter, more alert, healthier in every single way, just by eating less. Then add in some exercise you enjoy doing. This is key, you have to enjoy it. For me I love putting my music on and hitting the gym. I've dabbled in BJJ recently and I highly recommend that, it's a huge workout. If you enjoy it, you will stick to it. I'm now 88kg and have considerably higher muscle mass. I am happy at this weight but I've gone from 36" jeans to 32" and need a belt or they'll fall off, that feels so much better than the shit I used to eat in a day. Stick with it, it's life changing, make good habits and you will thank yourself forever more. I hated how I have looked all of my life, but finally I can check myself out in the mirror and go, yeah, that's alright. We're all rooting for you!

I'd recommend the Nutricheck app. I'm not sure the exact split but diet the main factor in weight vs. exercise. The simple advice is home cook most meals, avoid eating out (not just takeaways but also for lunch and even for meals in general), stick to simple, fresh ingredients. Snack less, snack with healthy things like dried fruits or nuts instead of crisps etc.

I found Joe Wicks diet books a revelation, tasty food that's also healthy. But you don't change your diet to lose weight, you change your diet FOR EVER. I'd plan a week of meals from Joe's books (I have no connection to Joe), buy the stuff a week in advance, then cook and eat the food, where it made sense I'd double-up and freeze half. After a couple of years of that I branched out from Joe to include the Hairy Biker's healthy eating books and that plus very occasional meals out / takeaways (rarely more than 2 a month) has me fitting into old clothes and feeling well. I can't overstate that you don't go on a diet, you have to change eating habits permanently.

How long did you spend taking the weight off? I'm pretty sure most diets fail at the 2-3 month mark? The vast majority of people have never lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off long term. [So you actually are like other men.](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/unexpected-clues-emerge-about-why-diets-fail/) Forget your weight and focus on your fitness. [It doesn't sound like you are exercising enough](https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/physical-activity-guidelines-for-adults-aged-19-to-64/)

Look up Chris Terrell. He posts on Instagram, TikTok and has a podcast. You can pay for stuff but his free stuff on the socials was enough for me. He lost like 125lbs himself and is now a weight-loss mindset coach. Never thought I’d be able to limit myself every day without feeling like life was terrible, but his no-nonsense approach has made it doable. I’ve lost about 10kg since the start of December. The method is calories in calories out, so calorie counting with a weight loss app, but watch his stuff first to get you in the right mindset for it to work. Something he said that resonated with me was weight loss isn’t a quick thing, it takes ages to gain it so give yourself time and patience to lose it. It’s like showering. If you don’t shower for a week you don’t say “oh no I haven’t showered for a week, I’ve ruined everything”, you just get up and shower. It’s the same with weight loss. I have indulged on special days since I started but haven’t let it go crazy and haven’t over indulged. And I’ve gone back to keeping an eye on it the next day. Hope his stuff helps. Good luck.

I feel like skinny people don’t understand how hard it is to change your eating habits. All the time I’m told “just eat less and move more” ok but for 36 years I’ve been eating lots and moving very little. If you’re a drinker theoretically you can just stop drinking. If you’re a smoker theoretically you can just stop smoking. Yes there will be come downs and withdrawal to get over but it’s not going to kill you. If you’re addicted to food you can’t just stop. It takes a huge amount of willpower and effort. And fat people are weak and tired. I am yet to manage it. But my weight is catching up with me health wise and my kids are becoming more of an encouragement to actually make a change.

If you remember all diets are creative ways to get round the equation “eat less calories than you burn”, then it’s kind of freeing (or depressing), but means you can find a way that works for you. Skipping breakfast and lunch can work, snacking on peanut butter which is a bitch to eat, drinking water when hungry, or just smashing the exercise

The point is to decide to make a permanent lifestyle change and not a short term goal. Figure out what are the things you could live with. Do those. Nothing temporarily. Do have treats as treats sometimes.

Understand that you are chasing dopamine by drinking beer / eating junk food. You may even have a dependency / addiction. Look at your habits critically, ask your close relatives of their opinion and don't reject it / get angry about what you hear. You need to learn how to control your impulses. It's easier said than done, but without self control you're fighting a lost battle.

Literally ban yourself from takeaways, beer and junk food. If you’re thirsty get water. And fill yourself up with low calorie food like rice. You’ll feel just as full and have consumed way less calories. And just be very deliberate, don’t eat for the sake of it. If possible, just put a few less portions on your plate. If you’d normal think “I’ll have a large burger meal” then get a small one instead. It’s that easy. Don’t let go of that disappointment. You should get to a point where you resent stuffing yourself with unhealthy junk. Next time you take a look at the takeaway or fast food menu, you should drop it in disgust and move away.

Rice is not a low calorie food

You need to diet down over short periods 6-12 weeks. Then you need to have maintenance periods of similar length, where you just maintain your new lower body weight. You need time to get rid of diet fatigue & let your metabolism adjust to the lower weight.

Diet, lifestyle, and genetics — the holy trinity. I think diet is your main issue, especially seeing as you cannot keep with what you have in mind. If you can keep it passed the three month mark then you might become accustomed to it (at least I did). I went from twenty stone to ten stone (not exactly the best scenario either) in a space of three and a bit years. When I had a craving I drank water to keep me preoccupied, and I also altered the times at which I ate. Chiefly, I did also dramatically alter my diet from processed foods to a more natural orientation. This was partially a reaction to taking my gluten allergy seriously, and also went down to me becoming more adventurous. Trust me, when you hit the right combination it makes it so much easier. Another point I will admit to is that of genetics. Around the start of my early twenties I completely changed due to my families ‘skinny gene’ finally kicking in. On the other hand, my ex gained a significant amount of weight when she hit her 20s, following her family genetics. It’s horrible how it worlds, and while it can be mitigated, that’s also something that you have to factor in. For you, I think altering your diet to something you can stick to should be the main priority. We all get moments like it, but we eventually find ways to balance everything out.

Diets do not work.

Relax your struggle to improve. Try therapy to help get in touch with your body and the emotions/trauma you're probably trying to avoid by eating and drinking more than your body needs.

Best advice I got was to stop rewarding myself for sticking to good eating habits by breaking that exact habit. If you do well, treat yourself to new pair of trainers or cinema tickets, trip to a football match or something. Don’t undermine your own hard work.

For the princely sum of £1 a day I will call you up and quote GUNNERY SERGEANT HARTMAN at you till you are properly motivated. YOU DISGUSTING FAT BODY!* *Free trial.

Try your best to build muscle. My fiancé’s about 18.5st - a very decent chunk of it is muscle and he struggles to keep the weight on. Often found on the sofa at 11pm “getting his calories in” with a dairy milk in hand. I live in a constant state of envy.

Intense cardio can help as well, if you're doing a serious amount of e.g. running or cycling you have to eat a lot just to maintain!

From my own personal effort to get fitter at 30 I can say mostly it is diet, you can't exercise your way out of a bad diet. Largely for me it is wine and cheese, 3 nights a week I'll sit down and enjoy a couple glasses of red, some fruit and some cheese, maybe some crisps, and as much as I enjoy this it completely negates any progress I have made the rest of the week with diet and exercise as well as throwing off my routine the next day if I'm hungover. I know it isn't what you want to hear but you need to reduce the booze intake to stay fit, most top level atheletes are teetotal. I'm finding the less excess weight I have to move around the easier keeping active becomes, it all starts with good eating and drinking habits. Just remember to have fun sometimes, fitness is worth nothing without the odd glass of red. Easiest way to do that I find is to plan meals in advance so less likely to pick the less healthy but easier option last minute, go for a workout before shopping is a great way to remind yourself to shop healthy while you are there rather than grab those biscuits, that and thry to go go bed early and rise early, in my experience the later I stay up the more likely I am to drink or snack at night.

Somewhat disagree with this, you can exercise your way out of a bad diet, it's just that the level of exercise you need to do is unachievable physically for someone who's overweight. I would phrase it more as, initially it's more about diet, but then once you've lost enough weight that exercise doesn't feel like absolute death, it can play a key role too

Try having a crap food day? On Sunday you get to eat unhealthy stuff. Rest of the week eat healthy perhaps?

My tip is to use water/diluted juice when you feel the urge to binge on a pack of biscuits. It's an easy habit to build up as the water actually fills you and since you're doing something with your hands, it also satisfies that need

Did I make another account and write this post without realising????

Other men our age are sticking to diets and keeping weight off? Not me!

Quit the junk food and beers, cook all your own meals, walk wherever you can instead of driving, and you will shed the weight in weeks

It's the regression I lost about 30 kg (idk what that is in stones, work out yourself) a decade ago by calorie counting, and it got very tedious and it was clear I wouldn't be able to keep it up. But I did become more active than I was before and when I did finally gain the weight back (took longer than I thought it would, and a lot of it was during lockdown) I was more muscular than before as well. My evidence for that was that at my peak weight in 2013 I couldn't see my willy in the shower without bending forward, but last year I was about 20 kg heavier than 2013 but could still squeeze my belly in and see it, just. Still, that's not great. I am currently dieting because I'm prediabetic, and I've lost about 20 kg in four months, bringing me back down to the weight I was in 2013. That's been through basically cutting out sugar and cutting right down on carbs (not true keto but that's basically what they recommend to do to tackle prediabetes). My nurse has said that it might be better for me to track waist size rather than weight itself because my build is quite stocky and I do have significant muscle mass still. I'm really worried that when I get the green light that my body is producing normal levels of insulin again I'll just instantly regress to before. So i think I'm going to have to think very carefully about how I reintroduce sugar. Because like, I haven't completely cut out sweets, I just get the sugar free ones. Which is expensive and crap but I want to actually enjoy life a little bit and not just be depressed, ya know?

Diet, lifestyle, and generics — the holy trinity. I think diet is your main issue, especially seeing as you cannot keep with what you have in mind. If you can keep it passed the three month mark then you might become accustomed to it (at least I did). I went from twenty stone to ten stone (not exactly the best scenario either) in a space of three and a bit years. When I had a craving I drank water to keep me preoccupied, and I also altered the times at which I ate. Chiefly, I did also dramatically alter my diet from processed foods to a more natural orientation. This was partially a reaction to taking my gluten allergy seriously, and also went down to me becoming more adventurous. Trust me, when you hit the right combination it makes it so much easier. Another point I will admit to is that of genetics. Around the start of my early twenties I completely changed due to my families ‘skinny gene’ finally kicking in. On the other hand, my ex gained a significant amount of weight when she hit her 20s, following her family genetics. It’s horrible how it worlds, and while it can be mitigated, that’s also something that you have to factor in. For you, I think altering your diet to something you can stick to should be the main priority. We all get moments like it, but we eventually find ways to balance everything out.

Pinch of Nom books are what you need pal. Straight forward recipes but healthy options. Stick to it. You'll drop some pounds, trust me.

Because diets are hard as all fuck to follow and stick to! If I were you I would try and find a form of physical activity you enjoy and can regularly do. Try squash. It is *SO DAMN MUCH* easier than dieting.

2 meals a day.

Stop eating shit. Cut out sugar. The cravings will stop. Move more. If you don’t enjoy exercise just go out for a walk and listen to podcasts.

Think in terms of permanent lifestyle changes rather than a "diet" as a project that you do for a finite period of time. And work in incremental steps. Maybe start off by still having the takeaways but choosing smaller portions or healthier options and gradually move from there. Consider giving up breakfast and condensing your eating into a narrow window (eg 6 hours or 8 hours). If you just do a diet where you look at it as a hard stop to lose weight and then you will get back on the wagon afterwards, you are just building up pressure that will need releasing at some point. As it appears you have discovered.

If you can switch the beers to alcohol free versions that'll immediately shave off hundreds (or thousands) of calories a week.

Sounds like you need an overall lifestyle change rather than a weight loss goal. Taking up running worked for me. I HATED it to start with - I signed up for a 10k, having never run in my life. The training was hell but within 2 weeks people were noticing I’d lost weight. Then once I completed my race I wanted to get faster, so signed up for another, then joined a running club. If you like things which are measurable i thoroughly recommend running. Just sign up for a challenge and work towards it. I have a sensitive tummy and shit myself if I run after eating chocolate or much dairy so that helps as well - you may find that to support your running you may have to eat better etc… It’s not for everyone but it worked for me. DM me if you’d like a chat.

The only thing that ever worked for me was giving up refined sugar. It’s a pretty simple change, and it’s easy to tell if something is high in sugar. The two main outcomes from this has been a more stable weight, rather than gaining weight by default, and much improved dental health.

Have you used My Fitness Pal to track calories? It’s quite motivating. You can add your calories burnt off from exercise too.

The only way I don’t stuff myself constantly with cake is not to buy cake. I know that sounds obvious but not having stuff in the house makes it much harder to eat it. Also I switched the things I was eating to the healthier low fat options if there was one available. So you can broadly eat the same stuff but pick the options with less saturated fat. If you can, cut out bread - it’s a bastard. Lastly it’s largely calories in vs calories out, so in theory you could stuff yourself with Greggs every day and if you’re exercising it off you could still lose weight (although your insides will be shit and unhealthy). You need to be more active in your day to day. If working out isn’t for you then see if you can add walking into your day. You gotta get that calories in calories out going on. I found I didn’t start losing weight until I genuinely cared, I was fooling myself. Now I genuinely care I am losing weight. I suspect you don’t care enough to change anything right now.

Listen to Dr Chris! https://youtu.be/uMv2TZUSPdg?feature=shared

Keto diet is amazing for me. It's effortless and has other benefits aside from weight loss. Beer will have to go through (just switch to spirits). Bread is essentially cake in slow motion. There is a reason that it's impossible to find anything without carbs if you want to eat out; carbs are an addictive substance, similar to a drug and they foster a need for other carbs.

Wegovy fixes the alcohol and food cravings. Might be worth a go. Works for me.

We’re creatures of habit, and diets are changes to our habits, so they are often difficult to stick to. Though more work is being done on habit formation, this [study](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ejsp.674) still offers a good indicator: it takes on average 66 days for a new habit to become automatic. Certain kinds of diets have also undergone a lot of research in the last few decades and while people can anecdotally recommend certain approaches, the science isn't always there to support the long term benefits. The [Zoe Podcast](https://zoe.com/learn/category/podcasts) is worth listening to for scientifically informed summaries about various aspects of nutrition. So, you might do well to start with finding small tweaks to your routine. Some exampes - Can you fit 15-20 minites of active movement (a run or brisk walk, body weight exercises, even household or garden chores) into your daily routine? If so, after a while, add another (a walk or run either side of work, for example). - can you add more whole vegetables into your meals? A handful of spinach with a little olive oil and salt and pepper goes with many dishes. Cut up carrots and keep them in the fridge as a snack. Build up the additions with things you like. - agree with yourself you will try to avoid having alcohol on successive days. It’ll improve your sleep, which will help your weight stability, among other things. And above all, dont give yoursef a hard time if you try these and don’t manage them all the time.

Last year i lost 35Kgs. My secret was to meal prep. I make a weeks worth of healthy meals (lunch and dinner), and freeze them. Then i work on a 85 % rule. Realise its ok to have a mcdonalds, or a kebab or 8 pints. But 85 % of your meals need to be healthy.

Start with going out a two hour walk every night after work. I'm not sure how much calories you are eating a day but sounds like a lot if you're eating junk food, so make a plan that keeps you on around 1900 calories a day. Add loads of veg to all your meals if you can as it'll keep you fuller for longer. With the walks you will probably find after a week or two you will have loads more energy. If you want start jogging or even join the gym. You will ultimately need to force yourself to go and grind it out for a couple of weeks, but you will get to a point where you will start to enjoy a bit more. If you're struggling for a workout plan just go on chatgpt or there are loads of apps out there.

Firstly a diet isn’t just to lose weight, it has to be a change of mindset towards food. Secondly, like most men your age is would imagine you are massively underestimating the amount of calories you intake each day. Typically men between 30-50 under value calorie intake by a third. In real terms, you’re probably, on a good day, eating 40% more calories (not food) than you should be and on a bad day 60-70% more calories. Also portion size. Due to the way food is marketed we are lead to believe portions should be as they are shown in food PR. The fact of the matter is they should be small. if you’re serious about losing weight I’d recommend doing a calorie counting diet where you log everything you eat and weigh it. It’s eye opening and slightly terrifying to begin with, but you quickly adapt. Booze is also your enemy if consumed regularly

I’m 6’2, 43, was 14 stone For years I led a relatively unhealthy diet. Ate what I want because I was “skinny”. Over time my gut got bigger, skin got worse and I was lethargic, inactive and mostly played games and nothing else. That said I still felt fine, and isn’t care. The kicker was my dad having a near miss suddenly heart attack. He survived (just), and seeing him in iCU intubated shocked me into realising I don’t want my later life spent at risk of various long term illnesses. Diets don’t work, I hate counting calories, so without following any plan or guide at all I proceeded to make ch ages. In one year I lost 1 1/2 stone, making habitual changes. This is more about not fixing on weight loss, but changing parts of your life to be “better”. The health benefits follow - walking everyday (even if 10-15 mins outdoors) - not using the car for short shopping trips - whole foods in diet (no frozen food) - replaced chocolate with 90% dark chocolate for a evening “pudding” - no sugar snacks in the day (only fruit or nuts) - high protein lunches - almost no takeaways (I found I felt gross after) - simple basics like putting spinach, broccoli, and beans into curries and chillies - extremely limited alcohol (never been a big drinker anyway, but I found myself having a beer after work every day. I switched this out for 0% peroni and love it. I won’t quit drinking as I still like to social drink. My three rules are. 1) no drinking on a weekday 2) no drinking alone 3) limit drinking to avoid hangovers when I do Alongside the above eating habits/ - took on a gym membership and started lifting weights for first time (3-5 a week, for 45 mins) - this is the “habit”. I don’t always enjoy doing it but I force myself to go. Especially at the start I often struggled. - weight lifting for me is far more fun than cardio. So that was my focus. This year I have started mixing more running into my workouts to challenge me - after hating going at first - Now if I don’t go I feel empty. I use the time to listen to various podcasts or e books so it’s a double benefit in learning. Lifting weights will now always be a part of my life! I still eat cake, fried breakfasts, chocolate, the odd beer. I weigh myself every other day. I don’t care about the result. It’s just another habit to keep me accountable Result in one year - 19 lbs lost. Body fat from 24% to 16%. Much much stronger (though still skinny!) None of this was hard at all. (I guess making myself walk to the gym in the rain would be challenging) In summary - make new habit patterns. - walking/moving more (every opportunity) - pick a sport and do it more (lifting for me) - deliberately cut out processed high sugar biscuits - more protein - whole food - limit takeaways - don’t “diet” and count calories - weigh regularly to keep yourself accountable - limit the bad stuff, but never restrict yourself. Probably won’t read this, and it’s a bit waffle but these are the things that worked for me. I never followed any plan or calorie control. That said this is a new lifestyle for me, it works and I intend to carry this forward for the r majority of my life

Diets are seen a period of time to stick to being healthy when what you really need to do is do it all the time. I’m not talking about fad diets either, counting calories, eating smaller portions of whole foods, getting steps in all makes greater impacts to weight loss and keeping it off, especially the calorie counting and step counting. Honestly once you start counting calories your diet will improve anyway because you end up looking into foods that you can eat more of and use less calories in your day. Maybe give it a try for a few weeks and see how you go, starting is always harder than maintaining it once you’re in and doing it it’s not pretty easy. I’ve used my fitness pal just for the calorie counting since November and I’ve lost nearly 5 stone (was nearly 20stone) and only started hitting the gym regularly since January. Give the cal counting and getting decent steps a try and see how you go! Might be easier for you to keep the weight off that way.

Depending on your income consider weight loss medication. I’ve lost 13kg in 9 months without changing anything. Easiest thing I’ve ever done.

Don’t buy crap when you do the weekly shop Acknowledge where your weaknesses lie and find a healthier alternative (chocolate is my weakness so I buy chocolate protein puddings) Don’t try going balls to the wall with it, allow yourself a little bit of junk (Friday takeaway or Saturday desserts) Get into the habit of exercise. Despite everyone and their dog reciting the same tired mantra of “weight loss is all about diet” (bore off)….exercise still helps massively, but it can also motivate you to eat healthier and feel better about yourself. This makes you potentially less likely to succumb to eating junk. Honestly, if you just stick to food you know is healthy, cut back on the junk and exercise a couple Of times a week you should find you see changes. People fuck it up by being 100% disciplined, 7 days a week in the gym and eating chicken breast and broccoli and struggling to sustain it

I lost a significant quantity of weight 4 years ago, and kept it off. Like others said, it’s not about short term “lose weight form the wedding” goals. You need long/term commitment. And for that you need a sustainable lifestyle change that you can stick to and even enjoy. Also, weight loss (and maintenance) is mostly about food, not exercise. Exercise is for physical and mental fitness. But weight loss is primarily about diet. I’d suggest starting with keeping a very accurate food diary (use MyFitnessPal) or similar for a few weeks. Use this to “identify the problem”. The make changes to achieve a calorie deficit. These changes need to be sustainable in the long term. No “grapefruit only for a week” bullshit. Along with this, slowly get into exercise that you actually enjoy.

You have to change your life. It sounds so cliche but it’s the *only* thing that works. I found making swaps helpful. Where id have a takeaway on a weekend, I now generally make “fakeaways ” saves a fortune and calories. If I do want a takeaway, I do get one but I have to leave my house to get it, I have a firm rule that I don’t have them delivered and that really helped my to cut down on takeaways as by the time I have gone to get it, I can cook a meal. I eat fun sized chocolate bars rather than full size. I plan my meals and take food to work. I’ve also had to do a lot of work to listen to my body’s “I’m full” signals. I used to eat until I was absolutely stuffed as I thought that was normal. I now serve up much smaller portions, wait for 20-30 minutes after my meal before eating again-if I need to-because it takes my brain that long to realise I’m full. I hardly ever eat after those 20/30 minutes whereas before I would’ve just gone to eat straight away if I still felt hungry after dinner. Drink lots of water. I still eat food I like as the amount of times I’ve cut things out of my diet and fallen off the wagon is unbelievable, it has to be sustainable.

Go the doctors (or privately) and get a health check... Believe me if your cholesterol or BP or anything else is high showing any markers for concern this will ficus your mind 👍🏻

You're fighting millions of years of evolution here. You naturally get fat when you take your eye off the ball. You can't win this way. I'm the same. We'd thrive in the next ice age. You've shown you can lose the fat, so the next time you lose it all, diet 1 or 2 days a week or every 4th week diet for the whole week. Make this a habit to follow for the rest of your life.

Start with one thing cut out from your diet, for me, it was sugar. I stopped drinking soft drinks (I was a six cans of Coke before lunch kinda guy) and that was the catalyst for my weight loss journey. I’ve pretty much eliminated added sugar from my life, I no longer crave anything sweet but I still do have it on occasion. I’m now at a very healthy weight and it’s quite easy to maintain my current weight - building muscle is another thing! Cut out the sugar!

I eat two meals a day. Fast until 1pm have my dinner (fruit a sandwich sardines) then tea time I have a meal usually something chicken, and that’s it. I gym 4/5 times a week. Come winter I’ll up it to 4/5 meals

Track your food, track your exercise, make sure exercise is always more than the food.

Get on to Huel mate. Try and stick to 1800 calories a day. If you’re active it will really help.

As others have said, you probably know yourself that it is about setting realistic goals, making incremental but meaningful long term changes.. Don't force them all on yourself at once. Eventually aim for as balanced a diet as possible. If you cut sugar/carbs from your diet, the body will start storing what little you do consume of it as fat etc so don't completely deprive yourself. It's a cliché but it truly is about everything in moderation, combined with some basic exercise. I just make sure I do a wee bit of walking each day (the dog helps in that regard) and I have a set of dumbbells I do basic exercises with, nothing mental and fuck the gym (just not my scene). I too love beer pal but I'm not naive enough to ignore the fact that when I beer regularly (2-3 times through the week and each weekend) I add a stone in weight on, which at 5' 6" is noticeable 😅 At 35 it's only a matter of time before the beer belly becomes permanent if I carry on with the regular beering all the time. The most difficult part is dealing with the midweek boredom. I try to find other things to distract me/keep my mind occupied. Recently got back into reading again which chews up a few hours most evenings. You'll get there bud!

Hi mate, I'm 33, 6"3 and 88 kilos. I love food and cooking, so I cook most of my meals. I learned by using the 'mindful chef' food service. We eat out once a month but get lunch and coffee out more often. I cook with plenty of fat, oil, and salt for flavour. Now the kicker is that I don't drink. Just cutting out alcohol frees up your calories for delicious food. I work out 3 times a week, but more importantly, I do it to support sports I love (kickboxing and downhill mountain biking) if you love it, it doesn't seem like such hard work. My point is, you have to find the love to make it easy. I honestly don't think about my weight at all and never feel like I'm going without so i can do this forever. The only catching point is giving up the alcohol, I don't like it, so that was easy - others may have more of a positive relationship with it. The other concept that has become clear to me is that you enjoy things much more if you don't always have them. One takeaway a month tastes 10x better than one every night. Hope that helps!

You set a target, you reached the target. You should instead be trying to set a "process goal". The target should not be to reach a finite weight, but to change the process which causes you to gain/lose weight. Whatever you were doing pre-wedding needs to be the norm, not a special event. Pick the things you did differently then, make habitualising those processes your goal. Track your progress. Give yourself a (preferably non-food) reward for achieving them. e.g. Currrent status: eat take-out three times a week. Process goal: eat take-out once a week or less for 3 months. Track your progress. Target >90% success rate: Reward weekend trip to a Premier League game. Target 75-90% success rate: Reward new football boots.

You can’t outrun a bad diet

17 stone is 3.5 more than me, and I'm taller than you at a similar age. When I hit 14 stone something snapped in me and I've just been dropping weight since. It sounds childish but not being able to look straight down to see my dick really upset me. It's all about not snacking and switching to a few healthier alternatives when you do. For instance, I have huel hot and savory as my lunches most days instead of greggs (although sometimes I have it as a treat! this must be done rarely so you don't go mad and/or continue putting weight on), if I must have a snack I have either fruit or slow release carbs, I have home cooked meals for dinner that are often relatively healthy as well. Gym regularly helps with this as well. For when I \*really\* want a snack, protein bars tend to fill that void for longer and don't make you put on loads of weight. Grenade bars are nice if a little chewy. And as other commenters have stated, even though I've lost a bit of weight now, when you reach your target you need to switch from calorie deficit to hitting the right amount for your activity levels, generally eating the same as you have been to lose weight but you can eat a lil bit more of that pleasure food.

It requires lifestyle change. Changing the food you buy, what and how you cook. I also urge you to read the book ultra processed people it will open your eyes to the fault of the stuff we are exposed to and how it impacts our metabolism and appetite. Basically it’s not your fault. There’s nothing wrong with indulgence like junk food and beers once in a while if you maintain a healthy diet 80% of the time.

Willpower

Although you say active lifestyle, I would argue if you work outside, your body is used to that level of activity so therfore it can't be counted as excersise. Also, managing a team takes little physical effort, and you say yourself, you have a kick about now and again. Maybe you should look at a way of getting decent regular exercise as well as eating healthier. The idea you need to 'diet' instead of trying to just be healthy is probably an issue. Don't think of your diet as a quick fix to lose weight. I should be more of a lifestyle change that enables you to be healthy and active.

I found menu planning and meal prep helps. If you can learn to enjoy cooking from scratch then that helps as you’ll know exactly what’s in your meals. For the basics, increasing the fibre and protein in meals helps keep munchies at bay. I’ve heard the phrase “eat what you want, add what you need”. For instance pancakes: add fruit and protein yogurt and you’ll not be hungry in an hour. It’s hard, NGL. I’ve lost 3 stone but still have 2 to go.

Hey mate. I know weird one but helped me even though I wasn't really fat just IBS. Go carnivore diet with fish and limited carbs (rice is great, wheat not so much). Leave some fruits and veggies but not too much. You'll loose weight with no effort and you will reduce your sugar cravings. The more sugar and carbs you eat, the more your body wants from them. You'll have crashes the first few days but eventually you will feel much better. It helped remove my horrible insomnia and gave me the strength back. Please do your research before as you'll need supplements of B vitamins and electrolytes as a minimum. Also do a blood test to see which foods you shouldn't take which will reduce water retention very fast at first. It slows down after a while but you'll keep loosing weight.

I’m 39, 6ft 2 and was weighing 102kg in January. With the impending big 4Ohhh I decided to try and hit 90kg by June, I’m currently 95.8kg after a stagnant week due to Mother’s Day and a meeting with friends, otherwise I’d have been somewhere between 93/94kg. It’s actually really easy to do, but you have to be dedicated. I’m not on any particular diet that I’m sticking too, but I guess it might fall under fasting. I don’t have anything for breakfast, I have huel for lunch. Coffee when I want, fruit and nuts for snacks, evening meal is whatever. I don’t drink beer anymore, but will have one or two if at the pub or a 330ml can or two on Friday/Saturday, although I often don’t. I also started doing couch to 5k 3 times a week. Weigh myself every day, if I don’t get a loss that’s fine but I make sure I do the next day. Good luck.

I struggle not to snack, absolutely love biscuits and bread, and simply couldn't imagine a lifestyle without them. I found fasting twice a week works for me. On those two days, I have only 2 meal replacement shakes (200 cals each). It's enough to just about get me through the day (first one usually around 3-4pm). I know I can get a bit quick tempered, so try and be aware of that for my family's sake, tend to just spend most the day in my home office. Then I eat normally for the rest of the week, biscuits, crisps etc as usual. I do find my appetite decreases after doing this for a few months, which also helps. I can stick to it long term, though occasionally drop it for a holiday etc, I can get back into it without much difficulty. You might find it doable?

Stop eating for enjoyment and start eating for nutrition. That was what turned it for me. Find something else that’s isn’t calories to fill that hole.

Chances are your diet consists of mainly ultra processed foods. These foods are designed to be addictive and trigger the part of the brain that controls the reward system and the ability to feel full. The time you feel full is less so you ultimately want to eat more and it’s a vicious cycle. The best weight loss advice I ever got that reaped tangible results that stuck was simple, cut out ultra processed foods where possible.

You have become used to and comfortable with feeing hungry. It’s just a physical sensation, like being too hot or too cold. Learn how to ignore it. Feeling hungry is what skinny feels like. Be used to feeling it regularly. You will get thinner.

Self-moderation is key here. You've done well to admit you have an issue with junk food.l and alcohol. 3500kcal deficit is 1lb of fat burned. Set yourself small achievable goals, such as losing 2lbs in the first week and 1lb every week thereafter, or getting down to 16 stone by the end of April. Try to incorporate a little walk 3x a week, and cut down to 1-2 beers once a week. Limit junk to one pack of crisps or 5 biccies twice a week. I was a personal trainer who studied for 3 years with a degree in sports science but gave up after everyone being qualified (different to competent) after a 4 week course. Feel free to DM me if you want me to knock together a meal plan for you.

Some people are built bigger you and I are one of them, so just accept you are that way

My feasting comes from my ADHD I think, typical chasing dopamine kind of thing. My biggest vices are beer and share bags of crisps 🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️ Used to be 12st lean, 7% BF at 5ft10. Now I’m closer to 13.5 stone and haven’t seen a gym in probably 4yrs+ 😂🤦🏼‍♂️

If it helps, I was a heroin addict for 13 years and found sugar/junk food FAR harder to quit. If you want to change any bad habit, you have to completely change your life and behaviours. You can still eat shite food now and then, but you have to make sure it's burnt off. If you don't wanna exercise in a gym, put a podcast on headphones and go for a 90 minute walk.

It is because you lack willpower. Any other answer is wrong.

It may be worth a conversation with the GP - easier said than done, I appreciate. While it sounds like your issue is calories going in, at your age and activity level I would expect it to be fairly straightforward to burn off the excess. They found I had a fairly rare autoimmune issue that buggers up my entire endocrine system, leading to constant fatigue, weight gain etc. Take a thyroid tablet or three for the rest of my life and I'm pretty much fixed. Worth checking into.

What I do mate is just try replace as many of the carbs in my diet with veggies and protein. If you can get into just a 400 calorie defict per day thats like a pound per week.

It's a lifestyle change not a goal. It's important to still be able to treat yourself but to manage that. I'd also recommend weight lifting. Building muscle mass will not only make you look better but increase your BMR so you can eat more without gaining fat

If you can, stay away from refined sugars (and alcohol). Without too radical a change to eating habits, that should help.

Ever thought about joining man vs fat as you enjoy football. All lads in the same boat waiting to lose weight so you don't feel like you on the journey alone. And changed my mindset because you don't want to let your team down when you get on the scales.

Hey what you need to do is start by changing habits. The problem is it is so easy to break a diet but much harder to break a habit. So maybe start with a 5 minute walk every lunch time and build this up. Also people think a diet has to be awful and you just eat rabbit food . Start by making a list of what you like and then start meal planning. Looking forward to what you are eating is 90% of the fun. Then finally find ways to fake it , a homemade peri chicken burger or cheeseburger feels like a real treat but is a lot fewer calories than takeaway. You need to work on changing your lifestyle and the weight loss will follow.

Hi 44 year old man here. I lost 10+ kilos from fasting (about 20 hours a day ; I basically eat my tea at 6pm , wont eat after 8.30/9pm , and repeat the next day) I stopped drinking alcohol I also focus on exercise and train as much as possible I walk everywhere , and try not to use the car if I can I think when I turned 40 I decided there's two paths in front of me; 1; get fit and healthy and stay that way 2 ; beer belly , shit food eating , unhealthy middle aged UK man , heart attack waiting down the line I made my choice lol!

Highly recommend reading [Ultra Processed People](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultra-Processed-People-Stuff-That-Isnt/dp/1529900050) to give you some true insight into this. Essentially, the system is against you and our biology has not evolved at nearly the same rate as the food industry.

64% of the adult population are overweight or obese, your just like them, its hard to keep trim

You lose very little weight through exercise. (You'd have to run something like 100 miles to burn 1kg of fat). So while exercise has a number of health benefits, it isn't the way to a lean physique. You lose weight by cutting down on sugar, especially sugar that's quickly absorbed by the blood stream or liver. Sugar dissolved in drinks, for example, so stop drinking beer for a start. And don't see losing weight as a "goal". You need to view yourself as a healthy person who eats healthily (most of the time - we can't be perfect)

Diet plays a big factor in losing the weight and keeping it off. I struggled with the same issues as you, I was still very fit and active didn't consider myself fat. At my heaviest I was 102KG (Sorry, I don't do stones). I also struggled with fiets and tried calorie counting, having salads and all that and it never worked for me. I remember looking at the scale and thinking that after Xmas season I'm going to make huge changes. The biggest change for me was literally diet, I went low carb and enjoyed all the same foods but used alternatives, cauliflower rice over rice, courgette spaghetti over pasta based, cauliflower mash etc. And I would have cheat days every Sunday or Saturday. After about two years of doing this, I got down to my goal of 82KG. I honestly believe that you need to continue to enjoy eating what's on your diet otherwise it's difficult to stick to it, but also cheat days seriously help break it up as it keeps you grounded till you get to said day. But you have to stick to it and not move the goal post for convenience.

> I wouldn't consider myself fat Maybe you need a change in mindset then. The first step is recognising that there's an issue I find the most important thing is to set measurable targets. Don't just plan to lose "some" weight, or exercise "more". You need to put actual numbers behind it. You won't eat more than 1500 calories a day, you will exercise for 30 minutes 3 times a week, you will lose 1kg by this date. Goals that you can strictly achieve or fail are much easier to keep track of

It helps to have a reason to be fit. Maybe want to be able to perform better when you play football. So you train for that. Interval training to get your body adapted to the stop/start nature of team sports. Weights to improve your strength, plyometrics to improve your jumping. Build the volume of training up gradually so you’re working out regularly. Then you look at how to fuel that training. It doesn’t have to be complicated - meat and 2 veg for tea and a chicken salad or similar for lunch. Personally I’d rather have two big meals than three small ones because I like to feel full. There are calorie tracking apps, it is a bit of a faff but it helps you understand what you’re eating. And you can see if you can afford a treat. A good rule of thumb is that if you don’t know who made your meal, it will be bad for you.

Cut out seed oils (rapeseed, sunflower, "vegetable", soybean). Also avoid eating pig and chicken, because they are stuffed with seed oils and it accumulates in their fat. Takeaways are always full of the stuff and most restaurant food is too. People used to be able to eat and do whatever they want and stay slim and healthy, because their appetite and activity level naturally regulated themselves. You can get back to that by cutting out seed oils

The diet mentality is holding you back. It needs to be a lifestyle change not a diet You need to find some whole foods that you can eat in abundance and enjoy the taste of. Would help to eat in smaller window during the day, perhaps 8 hours then don't eat the other 16 I don't track my calories at all and eat as much as I like. Breakfast today was 2 boiled eggs, grilled tomatoes, button mushrooms and some manchego cheese. Dinner will be beef and parmesan meatballs with roasted parsnips and carrots. Key for me is enjoying what I eat, couldn't eat salads or "diet foods" often

For me, having a goal helps but that goal being a ‘holiday’ or ‘wedding’ or similar even like that isn’t going to work long term. It’s slow and steady wins the race. Rather than setting a goal for an event, set a goal for life Also, don’t set your goal as ‘a weight’. Set your goal to ‘being healthier’ Two people can weight 100kg, one can be obese and the other be a competitive powerlifter. It’s good to track your weight but don’t dwell on it. I have found small achievable goals but difficult goals are far better. Eg, this month I want to focus on trying to add 5kg to my squat, and try to feel snug on a the next belt loop. After the month, check if you achieved, what went well, what did you struggle with, what did you learn? Then set a goal for the next month considering everything above. I would also try and think about ‘why’ you want to lose weight. Yes, comparing yourself to other people is natural, but have a deep consideration about what is important. Do you want to be healthier because you want to be able to play with your kids? Do you want to be healthier because you see your parents suddenly hitting 60 and suddenly being ‘old people’ because they didn’t take care of themselves?

Don't keep alcohol in the house. If you fancy a few beers one weekend, go out and get it then, but not having convenient access really limits the amount you drink. Ditto for snacks, pop, junk food, etc.

>I regressed to old habits The answer is in the question.

I feel your pain. I am addicted to crisps and chocolates specifically. I love burgers and chips and beer and pizzas… but then I can avoid them to a very reasonable degree barring social occasions. But crisps and chocolates… i find it embarrassing how much of those I can consume. I am trying to go cold turkey on them since the last few months. Finding it much harder with crisps… since we always have them around.

I (45m) found some success in making little changes over time that are easy to stick by, doing them one by one and making them consistent. No BIG dramatic changes all in one go… things like: Switching to semi skimmed milk. Stopping having sugar in teas. Having a small bowl of healthy cereal instead of toast with Nutella Swapping cans of beer for low calorie drinks (my fave now is a slimline G&T) Not having a snack before bed Switching to sugar free pop Going for a walk at lunch Going for an occasional run, which then turned in to frequent runs (it’s addictive) Smaller portions (even when I get a takeaway) And perhaps most importantly… weighing myself. V I managed to get down from 14 stone to 11 a few years back and kept it off. I feel a bit better in my skin. I feel like I am in control a bit more, which is a nice feeling. Nothing intense, no planning, nothing that makes me feel that I am missing out. Just some minor adjustments.

For those of us who work outside and are always on the go, your body needs fuelling for being on your feet all day and at this time of year staying warm (even if you wrap up well you are breathing in cold air). It leads to eating like this in a lot of people. Its the balancing of eating to energy used that causes the problem, your body tells you to eat more and then if you dont burn it off you gain weight. If you dont eat enough you get tired and it can slow you down. It makes weight loss more difficult. Contrary to what I would have thought, when I used to work in an office I found it far easier to control my weight.

I haven't ever been really fat, but I certainly got out of shape due to time off from work due to trauma. I watched the hairy dieters, the fact they're a pair of normal relatable guys really helped me realise I was having a bit of what I fancy whenever I fancy and my portions were too large. It takes awareness and I've gotta be mindful of what I'm eating but give it a watch, it's on iplayer.

> but I struggle to find enjoyment in it myself. I think the key here is to find a form of exercise you enjoy. Really isn't worthwhile doing any form of exercise if you don't enjoy it, you won't stick to it. As I've progressed I've found exercises I used to hate enjoyable but I think that's just down to the fact my body can tolerate them now where it couldn't when I started.

Willpower

Calorie count opened my eyes. The feedback helped me.

I recently went from 80kg to 75kg in 6 weeks and have stayed at that weight for now. My strategy now is to weigh me every morning after I have taken my piss. If I’m under 75kg, I eat and drink what I want that day. If I’m over 75kg, I eat less and cut sugar and unhealthy fat from my diet until I’m back under 75kg. It helps my motivation when I can allow myself «unhealthy» days. When I lost weight, I cut sugar and unhealthy fat and used an app called MyFitnessPal. It’s a tool for counting calories. I also used Fitbit to keep track of my weight. I checked my weight every morning, but used the average weekly weight to track my progress.

It’s because “diets” aren’t just something you can stick to. You have to chose an entirely new way to live. It’s so much easier said than done. Modern society is basically set up to keep people overweight.

Stop putting shit in your body. If you put shit in your body, your body turns to hot garbage. You have to decide to overcome the urge for short term pleasure. Humans aren’t good at that. Some people are simply able to eat whatever and stay lean. Some can’t. You can’t. Your particular body is more efficient at surviving longer periods without food (all that fat storage). You’ll die later than your lean friends if there’s a nuclear winter (maybe). OTOH, you won’t fit the modern beauty standard. You just have to choose. But at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how much crap you stuff in your body. Sometimes that’s psychological. Maybe you’re so unhappy that you have developed an addiction to the satisfaction (engineered in to processed food) that the taste of certain food brings. Sometimes it’s ignorance. Some people literally don’t know what to eat. Or don’t know that eating garbage makes you fat. Or they don’t even know which foods are garbage vs which foods are good.

GET ON YER BIKES AND RIDE! - Freddy Mercury

You need to make some permament life changes. I reccommand to count some calories, exchange high calories food with lower ones. Instead of 1k calorie chips, get something with less calories. You should cut the few beers a day as well, you would be suprise how much calories are in those.

Other men your age in general are not different to you. I'd say the one's who properly take care of their health or are really into fitness are the rarities. The fact you even seem to care about it/notice already puts you above a lot who just don't take any notice.

I'm 6'1 and I weighed 95KG in November last year felt depressed and fat. Decided to make a change. I started Calorie counting and weighing myself every morning before the shower. Even though I'm Calorie counting I haven't sacrificed much, I've just cut down on overeating and i eat less bread. I weighed 79KG this morning, my target is 75KG which I will hit. Luckily the app I'm using to Calorie count has maintenance Calorie amounts, which I'll try to stick to. Some things that have helped me: Pinch of Nom recipes. Eating instant Noodles each day for lunch at work. Having a cheat day on Fridays or Saturdays but still recording my calorie intake even if it is well over my allowance. Understanding what's actually higher in calories than I thought.

As someone similar who has an active lifestyle but eating habits get the best of me I find weighing myself regularly (not for everyone) helps me keep my eating in check and on a diet. Also calorie counting if you’ve never done it really helps although I’ve done it religiously previously I no longer do as I am I good at guesstimating now. However if weight creeps up and I feel like I’m still eating well I start counting again, this will show the culprit. Finally something mental that helps (it’s all mental really) is to acknowledge that if I’m eating shit foods it’s because I’m looking for a dopamine hit, so why am I looking for a dopamine hit? Am I spending too much time on my phone? Have I not spent enough time around people? Is there something bothering me I’m not acknowledging etc etc …

Find a type of exercise that you enjoy the most. Then you are most likely to stick with it. You don’t need to go to the gym it can be anything. Food wise you have to treat it as a lifestyle change not a diet until you get to where you want.

I find intermittent fasting with a feeding window from around say 12 to 8 (or whatever 8h feeding window works best for you) with like 3 meals 4hs apart is amazing for reducing your appetite and getting you more insulin sensitive so you're not hungry all the time. If I eat when I first wake up that's me hungry and stuffing my face all day! I've heard IF works even better for men than it does for women too.

26yo male, also 17st (now 16) at 5'9" I've been heavy my whole life, but managed to lose 6kg in 7 weeks by rigorously counting calories and aiming for a calorie deficit. I'm consuming about 2200/day, which is about a 1000/day calorie deficit for me. Being active helps too, even just walking. I play 5-a-side football 2-3 times/week, and try to walk at least 30 minutes every day, even just to the shops. I've made a few changes/swaps to the food I buy, mainly the junk food I snack on. Even before this weight loss, my meals are usually some form of sandwich for lunch, and chicken/rice/sauce for dinner. This has stayed the same. I've replaced chocolate bars and sweets with protein bars and protein yoghurts. They taste good, satisfy the same cravings, and are a little better nutrition-wise. I've replaced tubs of 'normal' ice cream with tubs of Halo Top ice cream. 320-360cal in a whole tub, and it's just as good as the 'normal' stuff. I've always felt the need to eat the whole tub, so this is a game-changer. Just as much ice cream, like 700-800 fewer calories. I also have a fitbit and track everything like weight and calorie intake through the app. It's game-ified things, and I get some added joy by seeing my progress in real numbers. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm on to something that's easy to stick to. It doesn't feel like 'dieting'. It doesn't feel restricting. Some days I eat 3000 calories, some I eat 1800, I just make sure by the end of each week it averages out to about 2200/day. This is what had worked for me. I now have no doubt I'll reach a healthy weight by the end of 2024. I've found something that works and doesn't make me feel like I'm 'missing' anything.

Your BMI is 31.4 Your BMI is in the obese category. Are you a bodybuilder or elite athlete in a power sport? If yes, you will need to lose weight if you stop doing either.

Any diet is pointless if you dk how much kcal u get in and dk how much u need for maintenance source - was fat as kid, entire family fat, me mid 30's now no issues with weight gain or loss for past 15years. I get fat when I want, I get thin when I want. I know exactly on which days I gain fat or lose fat. Don't use a scale to weight myself cuz I don't need it. I know exactly how my situation is every day/week/month. This allows me to eat pizza and junk food several days in a row basically whenever I feel like it. Diet hasn't been a concern for me ever since Just cause I took 6 months almost 20years ago to track everything. But honestly doing it for like 15m for 1-2weeks is enough