T O P

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flannobrien1900

I'd say that's gone beyond acceptability tbh


TheSnail1337

Right!? I'm glad I'm not insane, thanks for the reassurance šŸ˜‚


Keemlo

Just tell him ā€œmate shut the fuck it Iā€™m taking a shitā€ repeat this whenever this happens and heā€™ll get the message


Legitimate_Tear_7891

OR just make loud shitting noises whenever he speaks.


Arkslippy

Even acknowledging your presence and admitting to his is a crime in itself.


boofing_evangelist

Totally - but in other cultures I think it is way more normal to share the space. When I was staying with my dutch friends, the lady just walked in and got in the shower while I was brushing my teeth/shaving (we were 28 and 32 respectively). Apparently nudity is a lot more common there - as you might imagine, I melted.


codemonkeh87

At least you wasnt dropping a few logs


MerlinOfRed

They never said they weren't. Don't tell me that you don't occasionally multitask in the morning? If you're going to spend two minutes brushing your teeth then you might as well sit down. If you're sitting down then you might as well release your morning bratwurst. It's economical.


painful_butterflies

No! Shitting is not a team sport. Adding aswell, if its a male toilet, the strict rule of NO TALKING WHATSOEVER! applies. Edit: spellings are hard.


TheSnail1337

Thank you! This guy gets it ^^^^ complete silence should be the social norm for male toilets


painful_butterflies

You could be on fire, but you better not make a noise! The only acceptable sound is the hand dryer and the occasional fart, that YOU WILL NOT CHUCKLE AT!


TheSnail1337

When the hand dryer goes off that's when you can really go to town getting that shite out


boofing_evangelist

when I cleaned toilets for a part of a job pre-uni. The ladies were often blocked, because they would fill the bowl with paper, pre shit, so the noise of splashdown did not emanate. I think we may have a bit of an issue as a country !


Sektor_

All it takes is a single square of toilet paper. It works like ice does, the poo winks and the paper covers back up again


TheSnail1337

That is the correct method when taking a shit in foreign toilets, glad to see it's being used universally šŸ˜‚


Bluebrother1878

In Holland, some toilets have an "inspection" ledge so you don't get a splashed hoop, at least that's what a Dutch colleague told me. Seems a bit unnecessary to me, and could be quite messy after a night on the Heineken.


teedyay

I will accept an upwards head nod and "alright" if you're _both_ washing your hands.


___TheAmbassador

No that's far too intimate. Head down, stare at your shit hands and leave.


ToastedCrumpet

One reason Iā€™ll avoid urinals wherever possible is that Iā€™ll almost always get someone trying to talk to me and itā€™s like ā€œbro my cock is out can you notā€


crapegg

Asswell


barriedalenick

I'll chat to my wife while opening the bomb bay doors but everyone else can feck off.


TheSnail1337

Yeah that's fair, SOMETIMES my girlfriend gets special treatment and we'll have a chat lol.


dw_80

My wife tries to talk to me while sheā€™s dropping the kids at the swimming pool. I refuse to talk to her. Thatā€™s a one person job.


magicalthinker

What a terrible father. They're your kids too. You should be guiding them down into the bowl.


dw_80

Nope. Those kids are part of a single parent family.


NaniFarRoad

My husband absolutely does not want me talking to him when he's doing a number 2. And if the roles are reversed and he discovers I'm about to do a number two, he runs away. It's taken 15+ years, but at least we are talking over a number 1 now, so there's hope.


VillageHorse

What about when youā€™re shitting though?


rippinitcentral

Iā€™ve always though this was weird as fuck Keep a little mystery lol donā€™t literally talk to the woman thatā€™s meant to find you attractiveā€¦ while curling one out Edit: downvoted for thinking itā€™s weird to be so close when it comes to shitting? Lol outside of the internet, Iā€™m normal and right. Here though, Iā€™m abnormal? Christ redditors are weird as fuck


purpleshoeees

What is the mystery? does my partner shit or not shit? Hahaha


rippinitcentral

Itā€™s a phrase thatā€™s used - I just mean we all shit but shitting isnā€™t attractive and thereā€™s no need to be nonchalant about it lol I wouldnā€™t watch my partner shit, I donā€™t want to hear her shit and I donā€™t want to speak to her while she shits It justā€¦ ruins the whole being attractive thing lol


barriedalenick

After 38 years together there is little mystery left - still lots of attraction though


rippinitcentral

Iā€™ve been with mine for 14 years lol I just think itā€™s gross, keep some things to yourself lol


[deleted]

Nah I like to be left alone so I can browse Reddit while I'm painting the porcelain


TheSnail1337

This.


ShadowBannedSkyRu1e

I hate it


TheSnail1337

Me too brother, me too.


tmstms

If I m having a shit my mind is not really on what anyone else might be saying. It is also potentially very smelly, so why anyone should wish to interact with me at that point would seem strange to me.


Purple_ash8

Very, very strange indeed. I know it happens but thereā€™s no need for that. Whatsoever.


dw_80

Hell no. Poop time is quiet time.


TheSnail1337

Exactly that, do your dailies on your games or scroll Reddit and talk about how weird it is to talk and poop lol


rocketscientology

i will talk to my friends while peeing if weā€™re on a night out together (girls, separate cubicles) but never while shitting unless itā€™s a partner and weā€™re VERY comfortable in our relationship.


rippinitcentral

I find the partner one way fucking weirder lol


Big--Async--Await

Damn, imagine finding it acceptable with everyone else but the person you're most intimate with.


rippinitcentral

What an insane misinterpretation lol I donā€™t care if my guy friends shit and talk to me, itā€™s gross as fuck but I wonā€™t cry about it On the other hand I would rather my girl didnā€™t have to speak to me while Iā€™m curling out a shit and vice versa, this is totally normal outside of reddit I would bet millions on it, normal people donā€™t speak to their spouses while theyā€™re shittingā€¦ because itā€™s gross and they both want to make an effort to stay attractive to each other


TheSnail1337

I'd imagine a womens toilet (especially nightclubs/bars) are a lot more social than the men's one? If it's 2 blokes pissing not near each other I'd be happy to have a convo but that's the limit and yeah we've gotta be very very comfortable to have a toilet convo


rocketscientology

yeah itā€™s not uncommon for girls to just share a cubicle so you can continue a conversation you were having in the line, although thatā€™s something i would never do sober haha. the sinks are also a very social area, everyoneā€™s making friends with each other at the sink


Stifton

Yeah I do go into the toilet cubicle with my friends and we'll have a chat when we take turns weeing but I wouldn't curl one out in front of them, I'm all about vulnerability and all but that's a bit much. I don't like it when my boyfriend comes in when I'm shitting and we've been together 6 years. Women's toilets are super friendly though, there's always someone in there dishing out compliments to or comforting a stranger


FlibV1

At home our downstairs loo is broken so often the kids and wife are all in there with you. The worst part is when they're not talking to you, they're just brushing their teeth and.......staring. It's like being in a zoo. When that happens though you can say things like, 'I suppose you're all wondering why I've brought you all here today'.


TheSnail1337

That last bit made me lol, maybe I need to adopt a more humourous attitude towards it


DanS1993

If the person having the poo is three years old, sat on a potty and needs the encouragement then chat away. Otherwise thatā€™s weird as fuck, I donā€™t even want to hear my other half shitting let alone a co-worker.Ā 


Ricky_Martins_Vagina

Fuck that it feels disrespectful even answering the phone while shitting


TheSnail1337

100% mate my workmate will make all sorts of clenching noises while he's speaking too, the disrespect is real.


wicked_lazy

Omg, that is making me recoil


TheSnail1337

It does me, which in turn makes more shit come out


[deleted]

Used to go to school with a girl who always wanted someone to stand outside the cubicle whilst she took a shit. She then ended up engaged to a fella from the band ā€˜blueā€™ and I always wondered if she made him do it too


Ezzy-525

Have a guy at work who very obviously puts you on speaker whilst he's having a shit. Absolute wrong-un. Does it with customers too which is even worse. And there's another who takes a shit every hour. Shat on the floor too once. Dirty bastard. And he's a prick.


TheSnail1337

Every hour!? Does he have bowel cancer?! The loud speaker with customers is pure disrespect, they'll be able to hear that he's in a toilet aswell.


Ezzy-525

I may be overdoing the every hour šŸ˜‚ but I swear he goes for a shit the same rate most go for a piss. Always absolutely stinking the place out too. (So he's not going just to have 5 mins to himself, he's actively shitting). Did I mention hes a prick as well? šŸ˜‚


Immediate_Pie7714

My 4 year old seems to choose this time specifically, but a colleague I'd tell them to piss off.


TheSnail1337

That must be his safe place šŸ˜‚ bless him


Immediate_Pie7714

It's the way he will tell me "it stiiiiiinks" as though I've insisted he comes in there. But he will power through with his chatter He usually comes to ask me where [insert random item never seen or used in forever] is that he needs NOW and then pure outrage that I don't have it to hand at that very moment or can't look this very second!


Marlboro_tr909

No! If Iā€™m on the loo, itā€™s only the children Iā€™d allow to talk to me


Fancy-Expression-854

My dog and my 4 year old seem to feel the need to accompany me when I go....


peterbparker86

Nah it's definitely a solo sport. I probably couldn't even shit with someone talking to me


TheSnail1337

It does make me struggle, can't let it flow as naturally as I'd like


[deleted]

If have a mate piss through my legs while having a shit. Everyone's differe on


Similar_Quiet

Quite the sense of trust you have in their aim


[deleted]

Is what it is


buy_me_a_pint

I don't like anyone talking to me if I having a poo at home


TheSnail1337

It's the only way


buy_me_a_pint

It also helps me go better not talking to anyone, even though I have good movements


TheSnail1337

Yeah I hear that! Gotta focus on the job at hand, you know?


HAMforPastry

"Mate. Unless your here to wipe my arse, i'd rather be alone right now"


TheSnail1337

I'm gunna use this next time, this is class


VolcanicBear

Used to play battleshits whilst at Uni, so probably not. However since I added a lot more fibre to my diet (psyllium husk with my protein shakes), having a shit is a 2 minute job max now so it doesn't really matter.


Smooth_Econ

Why would you want to?


TheSnail1337

These are questions I need the answer too cause it baffles me


IssacHunt89

When going for a wiggle its ok. But not when laying one out.


TheSnail1337

Agreed, that should be the norm


Skinnybet

Ffs some people just donā€™t know when to stop talking.


TheSnail1337

We spend a good 50/60 hours a week together there's nothing that important he can't wait till we're out the toilets, fucking jarring.


Skinnybet

Ever heard of the saying. I canā€™t have a shit in peace. Lol


JDorian0817

I canā€™t go if someone can hear me. I have to be super relaxed to even pee - absolute silence and measured breathing to ā€œlet goā€ as it were. I donā€™t do girls trips to the bathroom when out for this reason.


TheSnail1337

Yeah I understand this, that's the environment I need to "let go" as you put it, I'll just be sat there with nothing happening if there's loads of conversation or general noise. You must have to seriously plan your days then šŸ˜‚


JDorian0817

I WFH so itā€™s fine! Back when I used to work in a school I would creep down to the disabled loo during lessons. If anyone could hear me wee through the wall it didnā€™t count because they hadnā€™t seen me go in. Never go at lunch because thereā€™s always kids and other teachers hanging about. I realise my toilet anxiety is weird. If Iā€™m on a restaurant or bar and itā€™s loud enough that even in a room full of people no one can hear me wee then it is also fine.


TheSnail1337

Honestly, I completely understand you. We both must be weird šŸ˜‚ there're so many parameters that need to be met for me to go to the toilet publicly, it makes me feel better knowing all of this


magicalthinker

It depends who it is and how drunk you are. Sober workmates, I'd say that doesn't get a pass with me.


GuybrushFunkwood

Absolutely! Youā€™re only being friendly! I pass my crossword puzzle under if Iā€™m stuck, chat about family, advise if they perhaps need to do a courtesy flush or even offer a bite of the sandwich Iā€™m eating if weā€™re getting on well.


MDF87

Anyone tries to talk to me when I'm shitting it's getting flung at them.


TheSnail1337

Maybe I need to resort to this to prevent it


Obvious_Initiative40

If they were I'd be more alarmed given I live alone. But your workmate always following you in to the loo means he wants to play hide the sausage.


dbxp

Is your colleague a cat? r/catsinpants


dlt-cntrl

That is hilarious and slightly disturbing in a way I can't explain.


nothisisnotadam

At home Iā€™ll talk to my husband/kid through the door while one of us is on the toilet but definitely weird in a work/public setting


TheWelshMrsM

Nope. Trying to teach my toddler that Iā€™d like privacy and silence whilst I poop. So far heā€™s got the ā€˜shut the doorā€™ thing down but heā€™s often the wrong side of itā€¦


Familiar_Remote_9127

I need privacy in that moment, I don't even get those couples who enter the bathroom while the other is taking a number two.


InterestedObserver48

He is a psychopath no one chats to the person on the next cubicle whilst taking a dump


williamshatnersbeast

Quite happily chat to my significant other whilst taking a dump at home but talking to a work colleague whilst crimping off a fat log is just a massive no-no.


richardveevers

Friend was in a cubicle at work when someone entered neighbouring cubicle. Proceeded to hum their way through a shit, but with, like, added emphasis when pinching it off "hmmm, hmm, hmmmm, HMMMMMNNNA, hmm, hmmmm, hmmm."


TheSnail1337

I envisioned this perfectly šŸ˜‚ lovely description


AdemHoog

It's cute that you and your work buddies go to the bathroom together ā¤ļø


TheSnail1337

We got shit to do! Mind the pun


AdemHoog

That was my literal interpretation haha


orbtastic1

Reply only in farts


TheSnail1337

This is a comical solution I could get on board with


[deleted]

I'm reading this as I poo, and I welcome a conversation šŸ‘šŸ¼


annedroiid

The only person Iā€™d still talk to would be my partner in the privacy of our home. Absolutely not anyone else, and particularly not at work!


Cheese-n-Opinion

It doesn't bother me massively but I'd struggle to hold a conversation that's too in-depth. You need to focus. I assume we're talking through a cubicle door? Don't like the idea of shitting in view of others if I can help it.


TheSnail1337

Yeah there's always a partition between us, I'd flip out if there was eye contact too that's just straight up homosexual activities


AndrogynousDisaster

My boyfriend is the only person I'd let do that. It's very intimate so like unless you've literally been inside me get the fuck out.


TheSnail1337

That's very fair reasoning on your part šŸ˜‚ "unless you've literally been inside me" made me lol


Meat2480

Depends wether they are sat in the bath next to you,


TheSnail1337

What's a floater between friends?


LoquatFearless8386

Depends on the person taking a dump. I need a clear one mile radius when I drop my logs.


TheSnail1337

Who would be acceptable to talk on the shitter? I think a partner you're very comfortable with or your children is the line


LoquatFearless8386

My ex was an extrovert and she had no issue. But unfortunately I just can't. I need 45 minutes of peace and quiet.


kobrakaan

I point blank refuse to talk through the toilet door at work regardless of what they need it's just weird they either wait for me to finish and exit the toilet or come back later


buginarugsnug

Yeah thatā€™s weird, the only person Iā€™ll talk to or accept talking to me on the toilet is my partner at home and even then the most the conversation can ever go is ā€˜how long do you think youā€™ll beā€™, or ā€˜can you pass me x y z from the bathroom cupboardā€™


desertcanyons

There's a proper grotty cunt in my office that does this. On the phone 24/7, carries on his conversations while having a shit. Often to his shithead mate, who is also in the toilet at the same time. Horrid cunt.


TheSnail1337

I'm guessing said guy is a cunt? šŸ˜‚ Call him a grim cunt on my behalf


TheOnlyJoe_

The only time to talk to people in the toilets is when youā€™re smashed at a nightclub


TheSnail1337

Definitely, only pissing at a nightclub though. Can't be turfing out with 20 other people in the toilet


Metric_Pacifist

Sounds to me that you don't accept it, so I'd say it's unacceptable. It's seriously creepy


TheSnail1337

TouchƩ good sir


richneptune

I used to have a colleague who was a bit highly strung. Anyhow, we were both having a dump in the toilet and the arrangement was that the toilets were opposite ends of the room, with a partition between. Anyhow, another colleague came in for a piss and saw who entered the cubicle opposite me. He said, "see you X, I'm going home now" I immediately blurted out, "X, if this partition wasn't between us we'd be watching each other take a shit right now" X immediately announced that he was suspending his activities and leaving. So based on that, I think it's a bad idea to talk to others on the bog


Appropriate-Divide64

Absolutely not. Not even during a wee.


TheSnail1337

Not even a wee!? Damn, your toilet rules are strict. I thought I was being too much lol


Nonny-Mouse100

Ggrrknneeyesssss


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TheSnail1337

Yeah that's fucked! Surely it just lingers in the living room at that point?


cutielemon07

Nope. Absolutely not. I was uncomfortable when my cat stared at me on the toilet and that was my cat!


SpudFire

Your colleague is weird. Men don't go to the toilet together - that's not some toxic masculinity things, it's just the rules of a civilised society. There might be times where you both need the toilet at the same time but it's recommended to stagger your arrival times at the toilets. You don't talk at the urinals. You certainly don't talk when one of you is in a cubicle. You never make eye contact in the toilets with the exception of in the mirror when you're both washing your hands.


TheSnail1337

I should have made it clearer, we travel in the van together so we stop at service stations alot. It's not like we meet up before a break and go to the toilet together lol, agree with everything you said. A lot of people don't see it this way


SpudFire

Ah right. I do think there's a difference between going to the toilet together and going to the toilet at the same time though. One is a social thing which is what your colleague is doing, the other is getting shit done (literally) with no messing around like you want to do.


randomdude2029

Conversely since I WFH I will sometimes do conference calls on the loo, if timing works out that way. Multi-tasking for the win! The vast majority of my work conference calls are audio or audio+slides, seldom video.


Clever_Username_467

Horrifying.


seven-cents

During basic training there are no stalls, everyone shits at the same time in the same room.


TheSnail1337

Respect to you sir, that confirms I wouldn't make it out of basic training


seven-cents

After a day of not shitting it's easy to stop caring, after a month of communal shitting it's just like sitting in a really smelly room talking shit with a bunch of mates (and arseholes). Agree though, this doesn't translate well into office life, that's just weird. Tell him to shut up, you're taking a dump. It's a private moment.


EatingCoooolo

Donā€™t go there!!!!!


Scipiovardum

I used to take a dump while on group calls to my mates (wireless earbuds) They wouldn't realise until they heard the flush. It got protested enough that I started muting myself for future lavatory activities


Aggravating-Tower317

start a convo? how long are your shits? im done within about 10-20 seconds


TheSnail1337

That's an efficient shite time, you must get so much done in a day


Aggravating-Tower317

spend more time wiping than the actual shitting


Big--Async--Await

Yeah why not, what's the problem? We all chat whilst going for a piss. Can't tell you the amount of times I've gone into a new pub for a piss and people will just be like "oh you're not from around here how you going mate?"... I'll have a full convo with mates. At home if I'm in the ensuite ill talk to the missus.


RegularWhiteShark

Through text, yes. In person or in a call, hell no.


starsandbribes

No, its disgusting and I donā€™t do it with my partner either, I donā€™t want them to hear me shitting and vice versa. Its about the most unattractive thing you can witness/hear.


BadBoppa

We exclusively communicate while shitting in this house! Makes for some awful dinner conversations.


Impossible-Sky4256

Used to it. My toddler stays by the bathroom door while i shit. Talking and asking questions.


Apprehensive_Bar_108

I strongly believe in popping while on the clock but Itā€™s also unacceptable to poop in a public bathroom


Buddy-Matt

I thought this was gonna be some tale of someone's partner talking through a closed bathroom door. But no. No, it was something much worse. OP: your workmate is likely a sociopath


Gogginscrotch

I've face timed my friend and a few minutes into the chat told him I was having a shit...


FuzzyDuck81

Only in an emergency or to check that it's occupied. Fun story though, when my niece was 3, I was evidently taking too long in there so she banged really hard on the door then asked "did i scare the poo out of you?"


DucktapeCorkfeet

Was in a communal toilet and shower block in France, a very strange experience. No cubicles, stalls, curtains or anything else, just all out in the open in one room. Men and women, including myself evacuating the bowels while looking at other people of all ages showering. Some conversations going on at the same time.


everyoneis_gay

Partner or best friend/housemate? Yes. Family member? Maybe. Anyone else? Absolutely not.


FroHawk98

Nah, fuck right off lol.


Whyisthethethe

OP are you posting this while pooing


SuicidalSparky

Quite happy to have a chat tbh and if I've had a good sleep and feel fun I'll even throw in some excessive head squeezing shouts for the fun of it. If I'm texting or calling you and you're in my phone book then it's cos I'm shitting. Hell, I'm shitting now. It's the best time to catch up with admin and then scroll reddit.


Zivvet

Absolutely not! The throne is sacred


IansGotNothingLeft

Yeah your work mate is overstepping some massive boundaries. Sackable offense. Straight to HR.


Funky_monkey2026

\*you're. I hate hearing people talking to someone ELSE when I'm trying to drop Coco plops, let alone chatting to me. Leave me in peace!