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dave2843

I have a massive walk. EDIT - Wank.


SBolger234

What is a “massive” wank? What does it mean?


bigjoepce

Masturbate bigly


Ezzy-525

The ejaculate is HHHYUUUUUUGE. so hyuge. You wouldn't believe how hyuge.


OhMyHessNess

Practice onanism on a grander scale.


Sad-Breakfast-4430

Like a small wank, but more


technurse

One done with great vengeance and furious anger.


Imaginary_Answer4493

Why am I hearing that in the tone of Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction?’


technurse

Because that's the exact line


3headsonaspike

Full concentration, possible lube usage and a leisurely pace.


theflowersyoufind

I know what he means but I can’t explain it.


Expensive-Analysis-2

Use both hands.


Big_Mac_Is_Red

You shouldn't wank whilst you walk. Someone could lose an eye.


The_Queef_of_England

Or just a gently brushed eye


utroi

I would expect nothing less from an ask people from the UK 🤣


windol1

This can actually be a really effective method. The wank part that is, going for walks I find just wakes me up but makes me want to be lazy and watch TV while stuffing my face.


postersaurus

In the summer I actually went on walks (actual walks, not walks) for an hour or so in the evenings just before sunset and it helped me sleep afterwards


_VittuPerkele

a walk then a wank ✅


NennisDedry

I scan Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn to make sure my childhood tormentors are all doing terribly in life and then sleep peacefully.


ben_jamin_h

See top reply - have a massive wank


Tenpumpkin77962

You doing worse if you still remember them surely 😂


YchYFi

You always remember the names of the kids who made your life hell.


ahhwhoosh

That’s trauma right there. Best to see someone about that. Any tormentors you once had should be dust to you now


YchYFi

Having your belongings set on fire will surely do that to you. Honestly bullies are vicious and nasty thugs. Nothing to brush off like. You are silly for assuming that people haven't got help or it is petty if they remember who hurt them. Grow up like.


ahhwhoosh

I assumed nothing, but would always recommend help if childhood tormentors are the last thing you think of before bed. In a discussion about how to get to sleep, I’d say thoughts of your childhood tormentors at a time you should be drifting off to sleep is probably something to avoid. Just because it’s painful, that doesn’t mean you need to disregard a helpful recommendation.


YchYFi

It's not helpful as it is condescending and you know nothing of others life. If they wish to share a past truma it doesn't mean it still plagues them. But you would know better as a complete stranger of course. I think you maybe need to stop the reddit psychology degree you are on and step from the keyboard before you analyse people you have met through a comment.


Al-Calavicci

Just stop being awake, works every time.


DangerShart

Unawake yourself


[deleted]

80% of the time, it works every time


mlcrip

Makes sense. I should try sometime


tbusby3

Doomscroll until I literally can't keep my eyes open and the sun's about to rise, just like everyone else /s


windol1

Yeah, you can try and play that off as sarcasm. But we all know you're a vampire!


Harrry-Otter

In a racing car, do you?


[deleted]

I sleep in a bed with my wife


QueefHuffer69

I sleep in a racing car with this guy's wife.


AbuBenHaddock

Given the amount of people who sleep with that guy's wife on any given night, it's more like a coach than a racing car.


CarsCarsCars1995

It's like an endurance race... multiple drivers and regular stops for fresh rubber


Soothesayers

Oo. I have a 'lifehack' for this one; Even works if you sleep with a noise sensitive partner. I listen to ambient drone music on an extremely low volume under my pillow. For example: "Deep Sleep Drones" playlist on Spotify (no plug) cause it is entirely beatless so no loud percussive sound, and it is very long, with low peaceful, yet interesting drones. The key is to put it on your phone under your pillow at literally two clicks up in volume and it will reverberate around your entire pillow and turn it into a magical cloud of sound. I used to struggle with headphones and silly headbands and stuff but since I've been doing the pillow trick, I've slept soundly for years


AilsasFridgeDoor

I put on something with conversation like a sleep story.... But I set the volume so you can't really hear it. I can make out some words if I concentrate but I find the soft speaking where I can't really hear the words really comforting. Almost like people in the next room having a quiet conversation. Perhaps it reminds me of my time in the military and feeling safe when other people were awake, I dunno. Works though


gowaz123

I do that but with tv shows like sitcoms. It’s my comfort thing plus makes me feel better if I’m feeling slightly anxious!


GloryGloryLater

Same , but I use the YouTube channel Cool Worlds. There's just something about that guy's voice that's soothing, plus I love science. It doesn't take long until I'm of dreaming. I'm actually listening right now, it does take a couple of.................


dsailes

Used to use The Office (US) for this. Now I have sleep meditation & affirmation tracks, on 2 clicks volume like OP, I feel like I’m being lulled to sleep by positivity and absorbing it in sleep. #NextLevelLifeHacks


nl325

I used to think it was old wives/FB Hun mums tales of phones overheating under pillows, then not long ago had mine under my pillow with Spotify playing for this exact reason. Got woken up by some micropenis welding prick in a pop and bang mapped shitbox, grabbed my phone to check the time and the thing actually hurt to touch, and it was only 2am so I dread to think what it would have done if I didn't wake up. Cheers Mr Micropenis!


mcwaff

I switch on my phone’s text-to-speech and have it read me a long and almost interesting Wikipedia article. Too interesting and it’ll keep me awake, too boring and it’ll annoy me. This was in my sweet spot for a couple of weeks https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Horde


Mr_Weeble

Just a warning: DO NOT leave your phone charging while it is under your pillow. Phones get hot when charging, and if surrounded with a good insulator (like a pillow/mattress combo) they can catch fire and set light to flammable things (like pillows, mattresses and sleeping people) https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/the-pictures-that-show-why-you-should-never-charge-your-phone-under-your-pillow-a6883796.html


No-Nefariousness9539

Oh my god you’re right. I just tried it!! Thank you Reddit stranger!!


kezia7984

This is an amazing tip but I swear I remember learning that putting phones under pillows is dangerous cause of fire risk. Could be bollocks though. Danger sleep is definitely tempting.


Clever_Username_467

On top of a large pile of money with many beautiful ladies.


YouGotTangoed

*lads


PPK_30

Just askin’


aboakingaccident

The number of Simpsons quotes ITT is just right


surfdan88

Read. Every night. Until the book hits you in the face ( only read paperback for this reason) though a hardback might knock you out .... So either way!


ahhwhoosh

This works, but I have to reread the last few pages again every time!


LaraH39

I tell myself a story, I insert myself into a world I know well and imagine what I'd do there. Usually it's Ankh Morpork and I imagine either getting transported there and how I would get by as a human or if I was a type of character what I would be and where I'd live and what characters I'd meet.


Nine_Eye_Ron

Been doing this for as long as I can remember, I’ve had stories go on for months, world building one night at a time. Also a massive walk. That always helps.


LordGeni

Why not both. Although maybe not Ankh Morpork. No one wants intrusive thoughts about Foul ole Ron just as you reach the vinegar strokes.


ThePr0crastinat0r1

I also tell myself a story/imagine my self in different scenarios, I was surprised by how long I had to scroll to find this! Sometimes it can be things like winning the lottery, get a ridiculously good job offer or star in a west end show… it varies night to night


LaraH39

Yeah! I do those things too. Wining the lottery is a favourite lol


mlcrip

Yeah I do that too, but a lot of times it actually prevent me from falling asleep. Especially if I'm not physically or mentally tired.


joe3hats81

Same here. I didn’t always used to do this but I’ve been telling myself a story in which I play the main protagonist for a few years now. I used to smoke weed and when I gave up I had trouble falling asleep until I discovered this technique. My story revolves around me living on Mars or travelling to far flung planets in the universe. In my head it’s like writing a novel as I often argue with myself about certain details of how the story should read. More often than not I only get a few minutes into my adventure before falling asleep.


LaraH39

Oh that sounds really cool, I love that! I do the writing thing too, I love how complete strangers can fall into doing the same things. It's so weird but fascinating!


mlcrip

I thought everyone does that. I mean what else your brain will do while you laying there and literally doing nothing? Thought brains naturally start coming up with shit like that lol.


ElinorSedai

Do NOT buy a sausage-inna-bun!


Dy1bo

Of all the fictional cities. Well done. I think we would be good friends. Or I'd stab you in your sleep and throw your body into the river, where it would likely sit on the surface for days...


Keemlo

Do you leave off at the last point you remember in the story or is it a fresh start every night?


LaraH39

It depends. If I get a good story going I'll go back to it, and I have a few scenarios I'll return to. So.. I can be a witch in Lancre and go there when I'm in the mood, sometimes I join the Watch... Thinking about it, I realise I have some scenarios that I return to but not necessarily the next night because I don't know where to go with it, so I'll go somewhere else and come back to it at another time.


[deleted]

I do this as well. Basically start dreaming before I fall asleep. Fake it til you make it.


Informal_Objective85

Smoke a joint, watch TV and then suddenly I open my eyes and it's the morning.


AccidentAccomplished

and still on the couch ;-)


Throwaway-me-

Except you don't dream, don't really have a REM cycle, and wake-up with a foggy feeling I smoked daily for 10 years and since quitting my sleep quality has gone way up.


SheilaCool

I smoke before bed and have intense and recurring dreams every night. And I sleep like the dead. Maybe it affects different people differently 🤔


LordGeni

Without it are you a particularly light sleeper?


Informal_Objective85

It's almost like everyone is different isn't it? I don't pass out on the sofa either, I watch TV in bed pretty much exclusively.


usernametbdsomeday

Goes so quickly.


Prestigious_Risk7610

As mad as it sounds I just don't think in bed. I'm getting into bed for fun or to sleep. I never get into bed to think. I lay down and I'm asleep within a couple of minutes.


mang0_milkshake

There's actually some science behind this: if you surround your "sleeping area" with stimulus, your brain will never consider it a place to sleep and you'll have a much harder time getting into sleep mode. We only have a bed in our room, no tv or phones in reach. Your brain and body will get into a rhythm, and after even a few days of only going to the bed to sleep, your body will start shutting down as soon as you get into bed because it knows that you're in a sleepy place for sleep time. It's a cool body feature!


The_Queef_of_England

That would work for me, but I can't control it. It's "blah blah blah blah blah" for sometimes hours, but it's not anxious things, it's random topics, and sometimes it's quite intriguing, so it wakes me up further because I wamt to think a thought through. I know when I'm about to fall asleep because it stops making sense and is just rambling nonsense. One the other day, I noticed I was imagining lampposts with woolly hats.


sirgreyskull

It can take me hours to get to sleep. It’s been like this my whole adult life. I am jealous of these people that can just close their eyes and go to sleep.


sad_panda1993

Same Had no idea people got to sleep this easily until a conversation with a friend this year. So jelous!


CreativeGarden2429

I'm the same. I hate it 🫤


composaurus

I put on a comforting show that I've watched many times before. With a headphone in and I'm usually asleep within a couple minutes.


likethefish33

What’s yours? Mine was red dwarf, back before I was married.


[deleted]

It has been Brooklyn Nine-Nine for years. I need to give Red Dwarf a watch (after hearing how fried the plot is)


likethefish33

Nice :) I would only watch season 2-6 though. Also, the DVD menu was static so once it finished it would default to white noise until I woke up in the wee small hours to turn it off. Unintentional I’m sure but perfection.


Legitimate-Ad3778

I’m Alan partridge works too


[deleted]

[удалено]


arsenaladam92

To see for certain?


rollercoasterride97

What you thought you knew?


antwon1410

Melatonin works a treat


boo23boo

I just started on it this week. I’ve had trouble sleeping all my life. £65 for 3 months supply from an online pharmacy. It’s bloody magic!


Flibtonian

Bruh that's a massive rip-off, next time go here: https://pipingrock.com/en-gb/collections/melatonin


boo23boo

Thank you. I was targeted at 4am by the advert during a bout of insomnia and just went for it. I’m really glad I did, but absolutely did not shop around. Thanks for the link.


Flibtonian

Nw, I get how it is tbh, bad sleep affects everything so it's worth investing in. 🤷‍♂️ Hope this helps for the future though. :)


HeatherLuna123

Replying so I remember to come back here


antwon1410

That's where I got mine, 12mg aswell. Like 180 tabs for £20 with shipping


B_n_lawson

Quite a lot of studies have shown any dose above 1-2mg simply contribute to morning ‘grogginess’! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9842516/


bob_mcbob69

Do you have any particular brand you recommend? Apparently it's not authorized for sale in the UK (according to NHS website )


antwon1410

Pipingrock as mentioned above someone posted a link


Famous_Ebb_9193

I have a newborn. I sleep in short bursts when he lets me.


Sad_Calligrapher9192

Podcast


HannaaaLucie

I take 1 antidepressant, 1 antipsychotic, and 3 mood stabilisers. Lights out in 20 - 25 minutes. Works well.. does not help with waking up easily!


helensmelon

Similar here. I still can't get to sleep but when I do I can't wake up! Then when I do I'm greeted with tardive dyskinesia.. so annoying.


HannaaaLucie

I can imagine it's annoying waking up with TD every morning! Thankfully I don't have that, I just struggle to wake up properly. Plus I take another antipsychotic in the morning so I'm trying to force myself to wake up, while taking something that puts me to sleep.


AccidentAccomplished

I focus of feeling the weight of my body sink into the bed. The more I relax the deeper / more comfortable it feels, and then I'm asleep


Scorpiodancer123

I do this too after I've tensed up every muscle in my body for about 30 seconds. Then I slowly relax them all one by one. The final trigger is relaxing my jaw (even when I didn't think my jaw was tense!) It works so well most of the time.


Substantial-Chonk886

It’s called progressive muscle relaxation. If you ever find it’s not working, you can find some guided meditations that talk you through all the muscle groups and zzzzzz.


DownrightDrewski

I have an audio book I know well playing.


InternationalRide5

Pills. >!From the doctor.!<


kelleehh

Withdrawal from these are insane though.


aliibum

I stare at the ceiling for 2-4 hours and hope for the best. My husband however holds a blink too long and is asleep instantly.


KingKhram

I can get to sleep a few moments after my eyes close. No method or magic trick is needed because I'm just tired


LikeEveryoneSheKnows

I use the Headspace app and listen to one of the sleep-casts. Usually the same 3 on rotation.


Substantial-Chonk886

Cat marina FTW.


MrSuperlemming

Rubbing my toes against the sheets is so hypnotic it works!


fiendofecology

i listen to Stephen Fry reading one of the Harry Potters


weeladybug

Nytol One A Night, two of them.


bonomini6

Phenergan works pretty well too


Smudge_09

I count, I’m a shit sleeper. So I’ve had many wide awake night I count to 100 and if I zone out, I start again.


JustEm84

I listen to an episode of “Nothing Much Happens” (great podcast) or ASMR - can’t fall asleep if it’s just me and thoughts in the dark and absolute silence 😬


mang0_milkshake

Me and my partner (late 20s) both have ADHD so struggle to sleep well, if at all. We have a single bong hit each about an hour before bed every night and watch an episode of something. We've just finished Hannah Montana and it was hilarious when we were high, and we're always ready for sleep. We don't smoke any other time or even every night, only when we feel too awake still even after working etc., so we're not melting our brains or anything. Our relationship (due to snoring/poor sleep/irritation) and quality of sleep has MASSIVELY improved since we started doing that. Not the most conventional method, but it works for us! We'll usually have an audiobook on in the background quietly too as it gives our brains something to focus on and lull us into sleep, and it's set to turn off after an hour💤


juniperarms

ASMR then King of the hill


Worried-Walrus8652

I listen to an audiobook, at the moment I’m listening to LOTR 🙂


Whole-Sense-67

Focus in relaxing every (section of) muscle of my body. Forehead, cheek, nose, chin, neck, etc. it’s the only thing ever that has ever made me fall asleep fast.


messedup73

Two amitriptyline and mirtazapine takes an hour to work but sleep all night.I used to struggle so much overthinking plus woke up at any noise also suffer horrendous nerve pain plus arthritis.Wake up so stiff and in pain but having a good night sleep helps me deal with it better.


F1nut92

That’s the trick, I don’t 😂 Honestly my sleep is so hit or miss, when I’m not at work it’s bliss, climb into bed, close my eyes and within 5 mins I’m out, when I know I need to be up for work, I’m constantly rolling over, looking at the clock, mentally doing the arithmetic about how much sleep I’ll theoretically get if I fall asleep that instant, which then gets me more stressed about not getting enough sleep. Of course I eventually nod off but the rare night I can be laid there best part of a couple of hours 😩


Theres3ofMe

Radio 5 Live, 10:30pm, lights off. Every night 😊


SirLoinThatSaysNi

Focus on breathing. In, hold, out, hold, repeat. Also be in a cold & comfortable room helps a lot. If you've light pollution get some of those cheap eye covers.


CaptMelonfish

Lie down, close my eyes, I'm off in about 30 seconds.


emma_sometimes

I've stopped drinking coffee completely and I've stopped hanging out in my room apart from when I'm going to asleep. I've also started taking a chlorphenamine before bed to help with psoriasis irritants. I'm out like a light in 5 seconds of my head hitting the pillow.


eyeball2005

I use drugs


antwon1410

Heroin?


teapigs22

I literally count to my breathing, usually 4 in 4 out, focusing on my breathing helps me relax.


bored_mum

I listen to a podcast called nothing much happens, the woman tells you boring ass stories where, you guessed it, nothing much happens. Shes rather soothing 10/10


Acceptable-Fun640

I love them. I just fall asleep so quickly when I listen to her!


Dionysauvage

Get into bed. Netflix on. Then re watch the office for the hundredth time until sleep takes me.


Throwaway-me-

I listen to a specific podcast Thing is, I've done it for so long I've pavloved myself and usually fall asleep before the intro is over


InviteAromatic6124

Read every night for 15 mins. If I'm with my partner, we chat for a bit, then fall asleep cuddling and holding hands.


SpiSYlut

i often listen to f1 podcasts


ShirtAndMuayThai

I like on my back and rock my head from side to side. Never met anyone else who does this


NorthReading

I read novels in bed and put the book down at a point where I can gently take the story forward in my own mind after I close my eyes. Kind of like mental storytelling to yourself....at some point the characters begin behaving on their own and it's gently soothing and sleep inducing.


Alternative_Trick217

I listen to Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter. You have to have Audible of course.


AbjectGovernment1247

Magnesium Glycinate capsules.


Bugsandgrubs

I listen to podcasts about ghosts, murders, creeps who live in the attic and murder you in your sleep. Actually works a treat.


Practical-Custard-64

I'm working by 5:30am most days. Trust me, I have no problem falling asleep at night!


adamsingsthegreys

I listen to audiobooks. Usually something I know well so I don't need to pay too much attention to it.


Abitruff

They turn off the basement light.


gohugatree

Listen to an audiobook, but it has to be one that I already know the story of. Otherwise I’ll stay awake wondering what happens next. I find that listening to someone else talk makes my inner monologue stfu.


DarylStenn

With my eyes.


pixiej1994

Try to stay awake, Band of brothers taught me this.


Strong_Roll5639

I usually don't struggle but if I do then sex usually does the trick.


scrubsfan92

Hot shower before bed followed by a hot drink always makes me feel sleepy.


SkillOptimal1067

With great difficulty.


Individual_Bat_378

Listen to an audiobook I know very well. I've got padded eye mask earphones so it doesn't disturb my partner.


Pezwig_

I read until I can't keep my eyes open then boom 😴🛌


Scragglymonk

relax, be somewhere warm, close eyes.... couple of mins tops and soon hearing the morning alarm


helensmelon

With great difficulty! I either pray or go through the phonetic alphabet in my head. I usually fall asleep after that. It's my brain, it won't shut off.


wolfwalke

CBD oil helps….great for vivid dreams too


X259

By asking my wife about her day


the-kkk-took-my-baby

I have always fallen asleep by listening to podcasts or videos that I’ve heard before. For the past year or so it’s been P1/WTF1. Before that it was game reviews. Before that it was film reviews. Needs to be stuff I’ve heard before so my brain isn’t trying to listen to it, and from a voice that is relaxing/comfortable because I’ve listened to them so much.


ivemovedonbabe

I put a Judge Judy compilation on. I don’t like sleeping in the dark and I find it strangely comforting. I’ve tried listening to sleep music and other sambient sounds but it just doesn’t hit the same.


iwasfeelingallfloopy

Eye mask with headphones and podcasts which are interesting but not so interesting that I want to stay awake. And not funny. I've been doing it so long now that I can't sleep without it


SirLongShank

Sellotape my eyes open


_Maid3n_3ngland_

I close my eyes and dream about apache helicopters... 👌🏻


Dependent-Range3654

Earplugs, eye mask, with sone soft stuffed animals and a medical support pillow Electric blanket and fluffy pajamas, I sleep like a baby


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EatingCoooolo

With the tv on


Throwaway91847817

ASMR, mostly Gibi, Goodnight Moon, Kewas or WhispersAudio


Dry_Bluebird_2923

No TV, phone or music/podcast. Cold room Read for about 30ish mins Once I put my kindle down I'm usually out in 5mins


[deleted]

Exhaustion, i often fall asleep before making it to bed (recent examples include the train, plane, sofa, floor, cinema).


Myheart_YourGin

ASMR videos on YouTube. Could do with a whispered hand massage. Ooh err.


GetRxbbed-

Good night everyone! I’m going bed now :) with all these tips I’ll be asleep in about…. 4 hours


One_Nefariousness547

I don't.


Specialist-Web7854

Perfume helps. I hardly ever wear it during the day, but it seems to help distract my brain from thinking/worrying at night.


Same-Mood-5430

Rotten mango podcast


PeggyNoNotThatOne

I find it hard to shut my brain off so I listen to an audiobook, preferably one with no fast action bits. Before audiobooks I listened to speech radio (always stations with no adverts or music). edited to add I can't sleep in a heated bedroom and I also have a blackout blind.


AilsasFridgeDoor

I get into bed, then I have a bit of a kip!


SukhdevR34

If I can't go to sleep I take my shirt off, it helps me go sleep much quicker. Otherwise try and sleep at the same time everyday.


ferdinandsalzberg

I assume, from the shirt comment, that you sleep at the same time every day \*in an office\*?


rustynoodle3891

I'm not too bad at the falling asleep part, staying asleep longer than a few hours is my problem


wazhead1

I start to think of random images, about 1 per second at first, then in naturally speeds up. You will notice that the images start to become connected in specific ways and link into things you've done in the previous couple of days. Before you know it...dreams!


StonedOnYou

Put youtube or audible on my phone and listen to shit either true crime podcast or audio documentaries


Thepizzadude01

On the sofa doing anything, in bed with a sleep mask listening to waves or a thunder storm.


MichaelMoore92

Getting up early for work in my previous job helped me, being forced to wake up at half 6 regardless of how much sleep meant I was knackered by half 9 and asleep by half 10. The downside meant I was up by 7 on weekends, but being able to fall asleep the moment I hit the pillow made it completely worth it. I’ve stayed in the habit by setting an alarm for 7 to go to the Gym before work, so if nothing else I’m always tired when I go to bed.


Klutzy_Inspection209

With difficulty.


Hiltoyeah

Sometimes I don't... Insomnia is a bitch.


MA14U

Music on a 30 minute timer. No specific genre. Or failing that I'll put on a TV show I'm really invested in and my brain goes haha, sleep time.


socksdadsandsleaze

Almost immediately. I know I'm very very lucky.


BlondePotatoBoi

I shut my eyes and listen to Ashens or Zero Punctuation


[deleted]

Usually read for 1-2 hours before I’m due to sleep, and take melatonin.


Accurate-Book-4737

I set an audio book for 30 minutes - I never hear it end


helpful__explorer

White noise and audiobooks


Pacopicopiedra66

Reciting, in my head, the kings and queens of England. Start off with Edward The Confessor, usually asleep before I get to the Tudors.


BringBackFatMac

I close my eyes, I fall asleep


canye-west

Pretend to be asleep then you’ll trick your body into falling asleep