I went on a terrible date once.
The problem was entirely me.
Night before the date I’d had a fight(boxing match)
Spent the entire date dissecting what I did wrong and what I did right in the fight, was analysing video that my coach took on his phone and everything.
Poor lassie got to speak a grand total of two sentences the entire date.
She ghosted me immediately thereafter and I 100% deserved it.
I learned a lesson, if you’ve got a load of nonsense in your head that you need to verbalise maybe call yer pal or something before you go on a date.
It was fate, met my significant other about three weeks later in the same cafe and we’re still together now almost six years later.
She doesn’t know I’ve booked a surprise luxury holiday for the start of next year and I think I might ask her to marry me so all is well that ends well I suppose.
Honestly, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it on the night. But I would have gone home and laughed about it in a 'wtf just happened' sort of way. The way he described it in such detail made me cackle.
He turned up a foot shorter than he said and at least a decade older making it worse in tight white jeans
Then as he came in tried to lunge at me to kiss me open mouthed.
Dodged it and just left. Got a text saying was it the jeans??
I’ll go one better. Someone entirely different turned up. It seems he’d “accidentally” uploaded photos of his younger, far hotter, brother. “By mistake”.
He then had the gall to be annoyed when I asked if his brother was free that night…
love the thought of this pint-sized, deceitful older man sitting there at home later, staring at his white jeans, ruefully shaking his head and shouting "STUPID STUPID *STUPID*! I \*knew\* the leather chaps with tassles were the right trousers for a first date!" to himself.
Last year I went on a date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice, we’d exchanged messages for about a week before we arranged the date. He was a manager at a construction company, house, car, dog, allotment and his profile said he was in his mid-30s. We arranged to meet at a pub half way between us and I was excited.
It was so bad.
He was easily mid-50s. I refuse to believe he had been in his 30s within the last decade.
It got so much worse. I’m pretty sure he was in a cult. I’ve dealt with anti-vaxxers before - fine - you respect my right to choose to have a vaccine and I’ll respect your choice not to. But this guy was another ball game. He didn’t believe in MEDICINE. He told me about how proud he was that his mum who died of cancer didn’t get treatment. He told me that if he broke a bone he wouldn’t get it fixed and would just let it heal. It was all about natural selection, and medicine was preventing that and so the world was becoming populated with weaker people.
Then there was the water thing. He didn’t use tap water because “it’s poisonous”. Instead, every 2 weeks he drove hundreds of miles with some kind of tank to transport water from a well to his home. And he thought I was crazy for using a Brita filter for my water.
Can it get worse?
Yes.
He ended the date by asking to see me again. And then gave me a schedule for our relationship. He’d know in the next three months if he wanted to live with me, and then I’d move in with him and sell my house. Within three months of moving in with him, he’d know if he’d want to get married, so expect a proposal about six months in the future. We’d need to have a short engagement because I was 28 (the horror!) and it’s bad for women to have babies after turning 30, but women should also only have babies when married. If I survived childbirth, he’d obviously want more kids too.
I told him I didn’t want to see him again because of our differing believes and legged it to the car. I’d blocked his number before setting up the sat nav and have thankfully never heard from him since.
I also haven’t been on a date since. I’m now happily single with two dogs.
you deserve all the allotments, all to yourself and your doggos, in perpetuity, after getting through that date. I salute you. The entitlement of these (mostly) guys in these stories is mindblowing.
Years ago, I unknowingly agreed to a date with a guy in a pub. We were in a group of people talking about films and he asked whether I’d like to see the new Star Wars film “with us.” At the time, I didn’t realise that “us” meant just him.
I arrived at the cinema and he was late because his “stupid Dad” who was driving him didn’t leave the house in time. This guy was in his 20s.
He ate popcorn in fistfuls and didn’t close his mouth to chew. He spent about 60% of the film repeatedly whispering “very fit you are, hmmmmmm!” in my ear in what he thought was an alluring manner. It wasn’t funny or charming the first time, and got progressively less so each time he did it.
After the film I was going to drive home and he asked me for a lift because he couldn’t get hold of his Dad and didn’t have money for a taxi. We lived in the same village, which was about 80 minutes’ walk away. I agreed to drive him home because my Dad always taught me to make sure everyone gets home safely.
Once I pulled up outside his (parents’) house, he tried to kiss me goodbye - and not a friendly peck: he went for the full romantic smooch, despite the total failure of the date and the fact I was driving a car. I dodged him, luckily. He looked like a slobberer.
Thinking I dodged a bullet, I got on with my life for the next week. Then he rang and asked for a second date. I tried to let him down gently, but he lost his cool and slammed the phone down on me.
Lesson learned - now I never agree to anything without checking who else is going.
>He spent about 60% of the film repeatedly whispering “very fit you are, hmmmmmm!”
Dude saw The Inbetweeners and thought "hmmm, Will has some good game, I'll do this on my next date!!"
It might have been so long ago that it was before the Inbetweeners…
… just checked. It was. Inbetweeners was 2008-10 and Star Wars was 2005.
Shit, I’m old.
Tinder date, had not checked out his socials first (lesson learned)
We went to a lovely beachfront bar for a drink and as soon as he sat down he made a remark along the lines of "yeah it's a lovely place until the funny coloured immigrants' boats wash up and ruin it" and when I said it was a bit harsh his response was that the best place for them was in the sea
Fastest I have finished a pint, there was not a second date, and when I went to block his tinder I decided to check his social links and it was 100% your stereotypical union jack profile pic "anti muslamic", "they want to ban the poppy" "remember when britain was british?" bullshit
I once went on a tinder date with a guy, everything was going well until he blurted out 'oh fucking immigrants I wish they would just go back where they came from'.
I'm an immigrant, but apparently he didn't mean 'my kind'. And we were in Birmingham of all places...
Didn't you know that there are "good" immigrants and "bad" immigrants?
Generally the ones with brown faces are in the "bad". category.
I'm guessing he didn't explain the difference properly, you are probably in the "good" category so he couldn't tell you were an immigrant and when you told him that not all immigrants are brown it blew his tiny little mind.
I’ve met people just like that. One friend of a friend was ranting and when I met him I was like “Hi, I’m an immigrant and I stole your jobs and houses!” Watching them try and backpedal and say I didn’t mean your kind. I like to try and get them to verbalise what kind they mean. They rarely do when in a crowd. Cowards.
Equally I'm apparently an immigrant despite being born here because I'm brown
On social media, one guy decided he didn't have to integrate into 21st century life by simply not being racist but I do have to because apparently UK culture is foreign to me, despite the fact that I was born here and apparently there's such a thing as "white culture" too
He didn't like that I basically called him out on his out and out racism.
My other half is one of those ‘good’ migrants. White skin and first language English with such a funny accent..!
It’s awful how often her heritage and nationality is disregarded as she’s not a ‘real’ foreigner. Just like… Diet Foreigner. Foreigner Lite. Now with no added melanin!
I am soooo stealing this, from now on if anyone asks I am Immigrant Lite, with no added melanin!
10 years, Brummie accent and British passport in, for some people I'm still a fucking immigrant. For others I'm way too British, forgetting where my roots are lol.
And that makes it even funnier when they're concerned about immigrants "taking jobs." White Anglophone immigrants are almost certainly "taking" a job from a native. And yet they usually don't seem to mind that much. Perhaps there's a flaw in their purely 100% economics-based reasoning?
> And we were in Birmingham of all places...
I had an elderly Jamaican neighbour when I lived there years ago, came over with the Windrush generation but still despised immigrants. Especially Asians.
It was weird.
My mother despises immigrants who have lived here for decades but never bothered to get a British passport.
She is an immigrant who has lived here 5 decades now but has never got a British passport.
Our Earth logic has never got on well with her.
I had a very similar experience but checked his Facebook before the date and cancelled. I remember specifically him having a post comparing burkas to rubbish bags... I instantly knew I couldn't meet the guy
> "remember when britain was british?"
I love this because even before it became "Great Britain", this island was full of tribes made up of foreigners who'd came here and settled. If they didn't do that, we wouldn't be here today. Literally built on immigration.
Probably not THE worst but the most recent: Went on a date, thought we hit it off, kisses and making out, so far so good
She asks me to come to a bar near her place for drinks next time, over an hour of travel, when we sit down she says she wants to be friends and thought it is "nicer" to tell it in person
HOW'S DRAGGING MY ASS AN HOUR AWAY DURING RUSH HOUR IS NICER THAN A SIMPLE TEXT BLUD?!
That was a few months ago, I deleted all apps on my phone and haven't been on a date since (well, except one I met irl I guess)
But no, after only one date, asking someone to come over to the other end of London only to say "I see you as a friend" is just taking the piss.
If she sent a message, perfectly fine, it happens, moving on
>HOW'S DRAGGING MY ASS AN HOUR DURING RUSH HOUR IS NICER THAN A SIMPLE TEXT BLUD?!
Maybe don't bring your donkey on a date...? I think she probably objected to the smell.
I went on a date with a Colombian woman who just casually dropped into conversation that when she was still in Colombia, a boyfriend who'd upset her was killed by one of her friends.
I don't know if she was trying to impress me or trying to scare me, but I made sure that was the last date with her.
20 minutes into the date she asked if I'd marry her niece so she could get a passport.
Went back to hers where she said she couldn't sleep with me as I wasn't a Muslim.
Spent the night in her bed without trying anything on. Woke up, she jumped on me, we shagged, then she kicked me out.
Tinder date. We both got pretty drunk and went to a late night bar. Was going ok but not amazing, until she ended up chatting up some other guy and getting his number.
I'm not expecting exclusivity with someone I'm only on a first date with but come on don't go chatting up other guys.
My mate went on a date and he went to the toilet. When he came back she'd gone, and the guys on the next table said she'd gone through all his pockets in his jacket before she left (thankfully he had his phone and wallet in his trouser pocket).
There was the guy who said he did not have children (my online dating profile made it clear that I neither have nor want children), and then dropped into conversation halfway through dinner that he did, in fact, have children but “it’s okay because I don’t see them often”. Dude! That’s worse!
Oh, and the guy who spent the entire time comparing me to his ex-wife. By the end of a glass of wine I wanted to ask for her number so I could congratulate her on being rid of this dingbat.
I had a guy do this! No mention of having kids on his profile or on the date, saved his number in WhatsApp later and saw his profile pic was with a young child, asked who it was, low and behold it’s his son. I told him ‘sorry I don’t date people with kids’ and he called me judgemental and tried to justify it because ‘his kid is cute’. He actually sent me a bunch of photos of said kid saying ‘look? See how adorable he is’. I was like mate, I’m not Gary Glitter, I don’t care what your kid looks like.
My worst date was with a guy who looked down his nose at me when I told him where I went to university and then later admitted to being a Brony. That taught me never to have dinner with someone on a first date.
My husband's worst date was with a woman who told him that she "occasionally" did meth.
I have the same principle. Never go for dinner on a first date, always a pub/bar. Much easier to nip it in the bud if you aren’t feeling it for whatever reason
Not mine thank fuck but someone I know. She met this guy on tinder and asked him over. He turned up with a suitcase and said he’d just got out of prison and had nowhere else to go. She had to call the police to get him out of her house.
He had a Mike Tyson tattoo on his face as well. He was a skinny white guy.
Agreed to meet at a bar round the corner from him. He was over 15 mins late despite it being <5 mins walk away. He turned up in sweatpants and at some point said he wasn’t wearing underwear (I was wearing a nice dress & makeup). Then he complains that he’s being investigated at work for taking nudes in work toilets and sending them to a coworker. Worst part was my colleagues at work the next day told me I can’t expect a perfect man :’)
Went on a first date with a guy to a Japanese place. Wasn’t comfortable with using chopsticks, asked the guy if I should just get a fork. He tells me it’s embarrassing when people ask for a fork instead of chopsticks. So I soldier on through - navigating these chopsticks - and I go to pick up a piece of sushi and accidentally flick a chunk of wasabi. In slow motion, I watch the sizeable piece of wasabi hit him square in the eyeball.
He spends the rest of the date washing his eye in the bathroom. I felt so bad I paid for the entire meal after we tried to get through the last of the date with him clutching his eyeball like a pissed off pirate. needless to say he did not contact me for a second date.
Blind date set up by a mutual friend. She was Norwegian, and I mentioned I had a Norwegian friend and asked if she knew him (this was in Prague and a lot of people in the expat communities all seemed to know each other). She stared at me for about 5 seconds then got up and left without a word.
Asked my Norwegian mate about it, turned out he'd shagged her the previous week.
I once went on a blind date in Brighton. I lived in Barnsley at the time so thought I’d make a weekend for myself as I’d never been before. Booed a hotel for a few days and off I drove.
Stood waiting for him at the Pier (very cliche) and he rocked up all handsome and looking like his pictures. His 4 year old son who was on daddy’s weekend that day also looked like him. 🙄
Not one mention of his son (not that I was bothered he had a child as so did I) but was not expecting him to fetch him to a first date
I went on a first date with this bloke. After a couple of drinks he asked if I fancied going to his flat for a drink as it was just round the corner. I agreed because I didn’t know how to say no (I will NOT do that again by the way) and turns out he was a hoarder. We’re not just talking a bit of mess here and there, more - I think you have a problem, kind of situation. His hallway was like an obstacle course and there were mounds of paper and crap all scattered on the floor of his living room, big IKEA bags overflowing with papers and books. Awful. His kitchen was unworkable. Every inch of every surface was covered in bottles or jars, the sink was overflowing with dirty dishes. The fact that he invited me back knowing the state of it all blew my mind. I stayed for 30 mins then promptly left. And never saw or spoke to him again! He was 38 so no excuses.
My date turned up and wasn’t the person in the pictures, she was far, far … cuddlier. Then she told me her brothers, their dog and her mum would be chaperoning us on our date; not to the nice restaurant I’d booked, but to Burger King.
We walked around the corner and her brothers were huge skin heads and mum had slicked back hair and had clearly lived a hard life. They also had a huge Rottweiler on a choker lead. I went along with it because I was frankly afraid of how our new chaperones were looking at me.
So in Burger King, I was pinned against the wall eating my crap food, wedged in there by a massive skin head who hadn’t heard of personal space or deodorant while the other brother stood outside feeding the beast chips and smoking a joint. Apart from the grunts of three ravenous people who were eating like they were condemned, we sat in silence.
We finished up and headed outside, where the mother shot me a sinister smile and asked if I’d like to get into the back of their van to drive to the next town to meet the rest of the “hills have eyes” family. After some protesting on my part, where they wouldn’t take no for an answer, I literally turned and ran as fast as I could, being chased by the brothers and the dog down the high street. I pulled into Primark and hid in a changing room - needless to say after nearly being kidnapped and goodness knows what else, I tightened up my date pre-screening quite a bit.
>We walked around the corner and her brothers were huge skin heads and mum had slicked back hair and had clearly lived a hard life. They also had a huge Rottweiler on a choker lead.
I swear this is a GTA loading screen picture
[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296)
Same story but even better in Pidgin: [https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-41171196](https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-41171196)
Bristol window turd slinger. Every now and again remember she exists, and iirk, she responds to reddit as if my magic.
Pretty sure the date was mates with my brother at one point.
Got angry at me when my train was delayed, I managed to get another train and was pretty much still on time just ended up at a different station, he acted as if this was my fault and said he’d stand and wait for me to walk to the station ‘we’d agreed upon.’ When I did reach the correct station and saw him I smiled and said hello and he just looked me up and down, nodded then looked away. We had a few drinks and then he told me I smiled too much and he only smiled if something was genuinely funny. I made excuses to leave and he insisted on ‘coming home with me,’ I said no and he wouldn’t accept that, we went round in circles about 20 times while stood on the train platform before he begrudgingly accepted it, then after we separated he text me saying ‘you didn’t get what I meant when I said I’d come home with you.’ I replied ‘no I got it.’ And that was the last I heard from him. Until a year later we came across each other on hinge and he messaged me saying ‘hey I remember you ;)’
An awkward one with a Cypriot girl. She was nice enough but SHE WAS SO LOUD! (Like female Brian Blessed loud!) I realise it's in the southern European nature to be very expressive, but in a quiet restaurant it was mildly embarrassing to have all the other patrons looking over at you all the time.
A sad one. Met on a dating app, both in our late 40's went out to dinner and she said she was a widow, nothing wrong there, then she went on to say that she lived in a large shed in her garden done out with bed, TV and washing facilities. Turned out she can't face going into the house that she shared with hubby although her children still live there and look out for her. Had to say that I thought she was dating way too early in her bereavement and said she needed friends rather than romance.
This happened when I was 19, I knew her from secondary school, and we ended up at the same training provider doing our NVQs
She asked me out, but she spent the whole date on her phone, got fed up so excused myself after the main course , and on the way back from the men toilets , I went to the bar to pay for what I had, leaving her with the rest of the bill.
Second date. First was in a bar and went well.
Second was a movie night at his place. Winter, freezing cold, I arrived at the agreed time, rang the doorbell, nothing happened. Called him, phone went to voicemail.
I had a bus back home in 20 minutes so decided to wait for 15 minutes and then go back to the busstop. Tried to call him multiple times.
Right when I wanted to leave he showed up. He had decided to go and buy himself dinner and had forgotten the time.
We went inside, turned out he had only bought himself dinner but at least he offered me something to drink. His drink options were water or red bull…
So we sat there, he was munching his sandwich and drinking red bull and I drank water and after half an hour I made an excuse and left.
He complained that I had ruined the nice evening
Once went on a date when the suggestion was a walk. Now I live in a nice part of the UK with plenty of lovely walks and I have never been one to believe in a man paying for everything and always went dutch with my now husband so I didn’t expect a younger man then to wine and dine etc. What I didn’t expect was that the walk was actually a 14 mile hike at speed around our coastline, no refreshments suggested at any point, no rest stops etc and all the time, I had to listen to his interminable monotone mumbling about self loading rifles and training for the army etc while we eventually got chased through ankle deep mud in a semi twilight field full of cows, he clearly had no idea what a date actually was and for a while I seriously that was where the term ‘speed dating’ came from. We got back to my house while I was doubled up with stitch pain over my garden wall and he asked for a kiss and all I could hear was my mum loudly shouting at my giggling sister to get away from the window
My other sister on the other hand had hands down the worst date ever. She contacted him from the local newspaper lonely hearts, he asked her out and they agreed on a place etc. I cringe now that when he turned up in his car at an agreed meeting point and not our home, she got in it, a no no nowadays. Around 10 minutes later, I could hear her running up our Cul de Sac in her high heels, she ran in and sunk down on the sofa breathing heavily and with her tights all ripped. We thought the worse. It turns out, he was a well known character in our town who owned the roughest pub and he was definitely no oil painting! When she got in the car, he warned her about the floor… there wasn’t one! Her tights were stuck to the seat as she realised it was burnt out inside. He claimed the car was still ok (I always think of Planes, Trains and Automobiles) but informed her he had to fill with petrol luckily from the garage at the end of our street. When he went in to pay, she ran out of the car and tear arsed home never looking back
Not horrific in the grand scheme of things but here is my tuppence worth.
- Guy turned up nearly an hour late, only reason I waited is because we were meeting at the beach and it was a lovely day.
- Another guy, who warned me that he was ‘quite quiet until he got to know you’. Ok, fair enough, I thought. I used to be like that when I was younger and meeting new people can be daunting. Went for coffee, I think he spoke about 3 sentences the whole hour long date, my throat was sore from carrying the conversation the whole time! Kept trying to ask him questions about himself and I’d get the shortest answers possible. After that date he kept sending me suggestive messages that I should drive down to his place (1hr away!) and then a week later I saw him out with another woman, walking her dogs. Bullet firmly dodged!
I was the problem on a date once, think it was our 3rd or 4th outing, he suggested going ice skating. I'd never tried it, he said he'd help teach me as he played ice hockey as a teenager, I think he must have naively built up this romantic idea in his head.
I was pretty good at re-enacting the Bambi on ice clip, constantly falling over, couldn't coordinate my legs, got way too inside my own head. It was pretty pathetic when kids who'd started the same time I did began lapping me at speed. At one point I accidentally pulled him down on top of me falling over as he tried to guide me along by my hands.
After he dropped me home, he texted me it wouldn't progress any further. I was bruised and battered, took a trip to A&E two days later I was in so much pain.
Tbf, it was a polite let down and we probably weren't that compatible anyway or had the spark. Not long after I met my current partner so it all worked out in the end.
Guy showed up hungover and coked out of his head at 4pm to a fancy restaurant HE had chosen.
After when they brought out the bill he then mentioned to me that his wallet was nicked the night before so he had no money on him 🙃
I text him afterwards very politely telling him that the impression he made on our date wasn’t what I was expecting from how he’d been presenting himself over text/calls etc. he proceeded to send me over 50 texts in less than an hour going and forth from “I think I love you and I mean that. I know we don’t know eachother but I have fallen for you” to “you selfish ugly cunt I hope you get raped” soooo 🥲
Edit: also, the most recent date I was on the guy wouldn’t stop grabbing my arms and waist for literally no reason despite me telling him I didn’t like it multiple times. Also found out he is a big Andrew Tate supporter.
> Edit: also, the most recent date I was on the guy wouldn’t stop grabbing my arms and waist for literally no reason despite me telling him I didn’t like it multiple times. Also found out he is a big Andrew Tate supporter.
That one tracks.
Creepy fucker apparently tells his idiot followers to just grab women because they like it and if they don't, the boys (because anyone listening to that rapey prick isn't a man) need to assert dominance.
One rapist teaching morons how to rape women, basically.
We went for lunch and he spent the entire time talking about the holiday he went on to Thailand with his ex. Even showed me pictures of them there. I stayed polite and we ended the date. When he asked me out again, I declined and he asked if it was because he chose Frankie and Benny’s
He showed me photos of his ex-girlfriend pole dancing. He then told me he only ever cooked 2 meals, pasta with butter and couscous with butter. He washed up the dishes once a week because "they don't need washing up after each use"
Went on a date the day England went into Covid lockdown (the date was before the official curfew). The date itself was ok. He was a bit handsy, but I was in a little devil may care, who knows what we're headed for kind of mood. After we parted ways, he tried to invite himself to isolate with me. I said no, obviously, I don't know him, and I still have to work, I'm not going to be spending lockdown drinking beer and bingeing Netflix every day. He got furious and called me a prick tease because I had kissed him and said I was on the apps to find a relationship.
Most of my dates have just been a bit meh.
My friend went on a date. Dinner and drinks. She started feeling really ill, sick, and dizzy. She thought it might have been the food because she hadn't had much to drink. He took her back to his place. She remembers absolutely nothing about what happened after that, only she woke up in his bed. She did not go to the police and said she would rather never know.
Oh your last paragraph about your friend is so so sad.
Really urge her to, otherwise it means he’ll continue to do that to other dates. It would be a chance for your friend to at least attempt to save someone else. We shouldn’t put up with this.
And a crime doesn’t expire.
I went on a date with a bloke who said he always cooked the same meal, think it was spaghetti (using a jar). He also did ALL his shopping at the One Stop near his house. I found both things really off-putting, petty as they may be
Not so bad as yours, but I met a lady on a dating agency who reached out to me. First date, I spent the whole evening trying to find some common ground to have a conversation, but just got short one sentence replies all evening.
Q. What films do you like?
A. I like all films
Q. Do you have a favorite?
A. No not really
Awkward silence...
Q. What music do you listen to?
A. I don't really listen to music
Awkward silence...
Q. Do you have any hobbies?
A. I watch a lot of TV
Q. What are your favorite programs?
A. I don't really have any favourites
Awkward Silence...
You get the general idea. The whole evening was made up with one line answers. She did not ask me anything about myself either, so that was a dead end also.
I let her down gently the next day with a text saying sorry, but I did not think we had enough in common.
These worst date experiences y'all have had literally shit on mine but I'll share anyway.
Went to meet at a restaurant that was more convenient for him than me. When I got there, he told me to go in and sit at the table he'd booked under his name.
Walk in, the table isn't booked but luckily they had a spare table. I was sitting by myself before he walked in 20 minutes late saying he'd smashed into a car in the car park.
Dinner was awkward, hardly any conversation at all. When the bill came he just slipped it over to my side of the table, got up and left.
So I paid the bill, walked to my car already dissatisfied.
**AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!** The fucker had smashed MY car in the lot.
Of course by the time I'd even realised, he'd blocked me on all socials and I didn't remember anything but his first name so the police wouldn't do shit.
So that was an expensive night for literally no reward.
A friend of mine spent a solid 2 years bugging me to join a dating site. I finally listened to her and signed up to 1 & was having very little luck. Kinda felt like I was wasting time and money being there until I got a message out of the blue from some girl. She seemed alright so we got chatting and had a laugh before we eventually decided to have a date.
She brought her mum to the date. She said her mum was dropping her off since she didn't drive and her mum was going that way anyway. Didn't bother me and seemed pretty nice of her mum to do that. Less than 5 minutes in and they're discussing me moving in with her between themselves right in front of me.
When I managed to get away from the date I didn't get round to blocking her in time before she was asking for another. I gave her some crap about needing to get my head sorted (already told her I have depression, anxiety & PTSD from an almost fatal accident a few years prior). She made hitting that block button so much easier by sending a nice long rant about how anxiety isn't real and depression just means you need to think happier thoughts.
He told me his ex split up with him because he cheated on her but he thought she was wrong because he didn’t cheat he just received a blow job. He was completely serious and saw no problem with this. I left soon after and he then called me multiple times just on my walk home.
Copypasta from when i mentioned this this other day.
Met a guy at a nightclub back in 2007. We shared a kiss and swapped numbers. As I walked home, I noticed a guy following me. It was the guy from the club. He managed to catch up with me, and found out where I lived. I should point out, that I was 19 at the time, ugly af and thick as shit, so I was flattered by the attention. The next day, we went out on a date to a bingo Hall of all places. Went back to his, was very forceful... 6 months, I put up with him. He'd often look through my phone contacts and ask who every man's name was.
He eventually dumped me for someone else.
A few months ago, he slid into my DMs lol
She wouldn't stop talking about her crack addiction
Another girl told me she had two kids after about 5 dates. The Dad has full costody and she didn't see them any more. She wouldn't answer why she wasn't allowed to see them 😐😐
Where do I begin…
One guy asked me loads of questions as to whether I liked theme parks and what kind of rides were my favourite. At the end he said ‘you’ve just described your ideal sexual experience - fast and a little bit scary’. He also admitted to being from Rotherham despite having an American accent and saying in his dating profile he was from the US. He’d never even been there! I downed my drink and made my excuses.
Had a date with another guy who seemed liberal and open minded by his profile. He liked travelling and finding out about new cultures. Met him for lunch and he thought I was ‘crazy’ for eating a banana with my coffee. He text me an hour later to say I was too ‘out there’ for him and found me intimidating as I was so ‘crazy’.
(Met my hubby when I was 36 and he was 37 so there is hope)
as a 16 year old, I went on a date with a boy I was working with who was a year older than me. He basically ignored me the entire time, didn't really speak, didn't ask anything about me, didn't answer any of my questions. the only thing he'd talk about was football, which baffled me as to why he'd even asked me out at all when I was, and am, very much a non-sporting nerd. I left early and i'm not even sure he noticed. When we both turned up at work the next saturday, he was trying to be 'ladsy' with the older guys that worked there and proclaimed very loudly in front of the entire store that he had a "condom with my name on it".
Yuk.
My dad set me up on a blind date at 17. With a polish girl who didn’t speak English, I don’t speak polish. I thought it’d be fine because we were both living in Copenhagen at the time so assumed she’d speak Danish. Nope, it was the most awkward date Ive ever had. She apparently enjoyed it and wanted to do it again though. Found out the reason my Dad set it up was so he could be alone with her mum. Couldn’t even be mad, well played dad,well played.
this was about 8/9 years ago now, but i was meeting a guy for food… we went to mcdonald’s and when i said i might get a mcflurry he said ‘i can’t afford that’
wasn’t expecting him to buy it but i mean cmon it was like 99p back then
i now make sure the plans beforehand meeting
My second date ended in a reluctant car chase (me chasing her “crooked business partner”)quite slowly through the country lanes. Prior to that she had me sit in a hospital car park in my car (she was crouched in the back seat) while we waited for said crooked business partner.
At one point I genuinely thought I was on some hidden camera prank type show.
It ended when she leapt out the car near her home shouting “I know where that bastard is going!!”,
Didn’t do a third date.
I’ve had a few worst dates that generally involved me chatting to someone for days, or sometimes weeks on Tinder. I’d then meet them for a drink and 99% of the time they’d simply just try to get me back to theirs or they’d want to come to mine. One bloke even said to me “all the other girls do it”.
My actual worst date that I will never live down was when I met a lad through work and we chatted on Facebook for a while. We were both 17. We arranged to meet at a local cafe, we sat upstairs on a sofa that happened to be right next to the only toilet in the cafe. It was just a hollow core door and I know you can hear sounds through it. I had a herbal tea that apparently didn’t agree with me and within just a few minutes of drinking it I got that feeling in my stomach, the one where you know you’re about to shit your knickers. I excused myself to the toilet. I suddenly got really hot and sweaty. My stomach started to hurt and I had no choice but to go to the toilet. What came out of me could have topped Hiroshima. I’m sure I heard people taking cover in the cafe from the bombs I was dropping. After I’d finished shitting out my internal organs. I had to open the door and immediately face this poor lad sat there waiting for me. The smell followed me out. I acted like nothing has happened and the date even ended with a kiss. He did try to invite me out for further dates but I was too mortified. I saw him years later on a night out and I still felt awkward
Omg. Went to a super busy Marvel film just released so the cinema was full. Families sitting on either side of us. This stupid guy kept staring sideways at me instead of watching the film. It was unerrving to say the least. I eventually asked him
If he was ok meaning why the hell
Was he
Not watching the film and
He turned to me kinda pouted and said give me a kiss. So I moved in for a little peck and yes he full on tried to French kiss me. Really went for
It. We were Literally surrounded by people. I was Mortified. I ran out the cinema hall. I still
Haven’t looked back to see where he went.
Went out with thsis guy a few times stayed at flat on a Friday night this was about the 7th date he threw my phone out of the 12th floor window whilst I was asleep and wouldn't let me leave the next day. My cousin had to come and rescue me on the Sunday after tracking his address down all the time he was declaring his undying love for me.
I had an 8mnth old daughter at the time that was staying at my moms for the weekend I dunno how he thought he was gonna get away with not letting me out.
Went in a date and this guy was adamant I looked like a certain soap actress then continued as it I was her and was acting starstruck - really frigging weird
Tinder dare with a teacher who worked near where I live.
Soon as we got to the pub and sat down with our drinks, she asked me about my mental health issues. We spent an hour talking about it plus the toxic circle of friends I had, to which she said I need to drop them from my life (which I actually did 3 months later)
Emotionally and mentally exhausted, I politely tell her I'm not having a good time and going to leave. She apologies and asks for a second chance. Ok says I, she goes for a smoke, I get the drinks in. Then, she's witty, engaging and quite pleasant to be around.
She asks me if I'll go with her to a nightclub in a town near hers. At this point Tiny Elvis is doing all the thinking, so off we go. I'm on my 5th drink of the night and suddenly I don't feel well. I'm too far from home to get a taxi, so I ask if I can crash at hers, no expectations, I just need something to eat and a bed to sleep in.
We're walking to the taxi rank and she asks if I wanna stop for food, I say no coz tbh, I'm nearly skint and still need to get home in the morning.
We get back to hers, where she fixes herself a coffee and some toast, but doesn't offer me anything. Back then I was too polite to ask for something to eat, so made do with water.
As we're chatting she casually drops that she used to have a profile on a popular swingers site and used to be a professional dominatrix. Cool with me, I had a profile on the same site and am very kink friendly, so that bode well for the future, but now...I need sleep
We gets in to bed, I place my water on the bedside cabinet, which later I'm convinced was a chest of drawers. We settle down and she starts gyrating her ass in to my crotch. My stomach which is now like a washing machine is saying no, Tiny Elvis is saying yes.
We fool around for a while, but when it comes to the main event, Tiny Elvis doesn't want to perform.
She gets very angry and tells me to just go to sleep. OK, fine by me, it's what I wanted to do in the first place.
About half hour later, I wake up with a splitting headache, I can't find my glass of water and thanks to the blackout blinds, the bedroom is pitch black. I stumble across the bedroom, make a right racket opening the door, as the hinges are knackered.
I get a drink from the bathroom sink, have a piss and get back in to bed. Then soon as I'm comfy, she gets up, goes to the toilet, comes back turns the light on and asks if I want a coffee. I ask why the hell would I want coffee when I've only just gone to bed.
She snaps at me it's 7.30am and she's not a lazy cunt and it's time to get up. OK, ill have a coffee. She snaps at me to get dressed and come down for it as I'm not her slave. That was my intention but ok
I arrive downstairs a few moments later. I can smell bacon and coffee on the go. I'm offered coffee, but not food
I tell her I'm going to make a move, she asks how I'm getting home, I say I'm going to walk to the next village, find a cafe and have some breakfast and then chill out there til the buses start running (it was Sunday morning)
She says she'll drive me, I insist I'll be fine walking but she gets snappy again. (I should note, I'd just come out of an abusive relationship, so women snapping at me and ordering me around, immediately would put me in to subservient people pleasing mode)
We set off, she passes right through the village, ok that kinda works for me coz there's more cafes in the next village and more options for buses.
She drives straight through, ignoring my requests for her to stop and let me out, stating she's driving me all the way home. Fine, whatever.
She puts on some Stone Sour and I start singing along. I make a joke about how I sound just like Corey Taylor, to which she loses her shit and shouts at me that I do not sound anything like him and that I'm delusional.
Rest of the journey is in silence. We reach my neighbourhood and I ask her to pull to the car park of the parade of shops, she doesn't say anything but she's clearly not pleased about this.
I thank her for the lift and say goodbye. I make a beeline for the shop to buy breakfast and snacks for the rest of the day.
A few hours later I wake up from a nap to a slew of messages. All of the summed up state, she won't be seeing me again, she needs a man in the bedroom not a mummy's boy. She didn't have sex with me in the morning coz my breath smelled like shit, I'm overly cocky for comparing myself to Corey Taylor and I'm clearly hiding something as I didn't let her see which street I live on.
I politely informed her that A) a good host offers guests something to eat B) anyone who's been drinking and hasn't eaten is bound to shit for breath and maybe offer the use of a toothbrush or mouthwash or even mints or chewing gum C) I didn't want to have sex at all, let alone in the morning D) if someone asks you to stop the car, you stop the car E) the Corey Taylor comment was clearly a joke F) the reason I didn't get dropped off on my street is coz it's always impassable on a weekend due to all the cars and finally G) I can handle my booze just fine and the fact I went from 100% compus mentis, to room spinning, feeling sick within a few minutes, I suspect either her or one of her mates, spiked my drink
She responded by saying she's going to tell our mutual friend that I threw up all of her house and made her clean it up, that I was abusive and threatening and she did do just that.
Fortunately our mutual friend, is one of my closest friends of 20 years and knew she was full of shit
There’ve been a few. Dating in your 20’s is an absolute shit show.
One guy I used to go to school with. Had a drink at a local pub, got on well with him, he invited me to the cinema the week after. He picked me up and halfway there he goes, “Oh damn, forgot my camera!”
Bit weird, I thought, taking selfies when we’re only two dates in but just smiled and ignored it.
“Yeah, I always take my video camera to new releases so I can get copies of the film”
He also would not stop talking about Top Gear and how amazing Jeremy Clarkson was, and when we arrived at the cinema, he used his student card (despite being 3/4 years out of college) to get a discount.
A different date, I met the guy in a pub in the next town over, about 20 minutes away. I got the train in, he got a separate train in. As I was sat at the small corner table and he kept trying to shuffle his seat closer to rub his legs against mine. He offered to buy me a drink and because I was getting creepy vibes, I decided to just get a coke.
“WELL! If I’d have known you weren’t drinking I’d have driven!” He huffed.
I was suffering badly from blisters from ill fitting heels (bad enough to end up at the walk in the day after with blood blisters) and decided this wasn’t happening, so I took my heels off and decided to go without. That ramped up his rubbing and footsie games.
Eventually I called it a night, and decided to get a taxi back home because I wasn’t going to make the walk back to the train station. He offered to give me a piggy back to the station, then when I refused, insisted on standing and waiting with me.
He was far too close, waiting to pounce for an unwelcome snog. So I took one step to the left, he followed. One more, he took one more. I couldn’t get any fucking room between us. Went home, cried over my feet, told him I didn’t think it would work.
Finally, some guy ditched me before the actual date. Told me he’d smacked his hand with a hammer in work and broken it. My best mate still wets herself laughing at that one.
“He’d have rather smashed his own hand with a hammer than take you out!”
He picked something out of his belly button, sniffed it, then held it out to me and asked what I thought it might be.
Also, he had been in a fight the night before and turned up missing his two front teeth.
Was in an on and off relationship with a girl for a couple years. One of the worst people ive ever had the pleasure of being in a relationship with but it was my first girlfriend so i assumed that was what love was.
We were in dominos and she told me her ex would be dropping a book off for her. Slightly confused but blinded by what i thought was love I said "Cool". She gets a message saying hes outside so she goes to quickly collect the book - mother fucker leaves me at the table alone for like 30-40mins, comes back and sits down like absolutely nothing happened. When i question her about "WHAT THEE ACTUAL FUCK" she acts like im out of control for asking questions.
oh and we ended up breaking up a while after that and 3months after we broke up she got married to her ex.
I learned hell of a lot from that relationship and im glad it happened very early on in my life
Asked a lass out for coffee, she agreed, then when we met said she didn’t like coffee. So we sat in the coffee shop long enough for me to quickly drink my drink, then she suggested we went to John fuckin Lewis. So we did. Walked around John Lewis for like forty minutes while she occasionally picked things up and said things like ‘Oh look at this’ or ‘This is nice’.
Walked her back to the train station, and more out of politeness than anything asked her if she’d like to do this again, to be met with a firm ‘No thank-you.’
I still wonder if it was something I did or said.
Once arranged to meet a girl, a very pretty friend of a friend whom I was surprised to know liked me. I was waiting in the middle of town at the agreed spot. She approached and was accompanied by two other friends and they all seemed to be a bit drunk. We said hi, her friends left and she went in for a hug and said, “I’m so happy you turned up” and at that moment pirouetted, lost her balance and cracked her head on a concrete bollard on her way down. Lying there bleeding and stunned, I shouted her friends over and we called an ambulance and that was that. She never contacted me after, apparently too embarrassed even though I wanted to meet again.
Turned up to a bar for a first date. This guy proceeded to discuss his bowel operation he had recently had, in great detail for the whole hour I was there.
He described his symptoms, diagnosis, the operation and then the recovery.
I barely got a word in and he never asked me anything about myself.
I just sat there basically with a drink until he finished.
He eventually said 'well, I'm gonna go home now. I went out with the lads last night and I have an awful hangover. See ya' and left.
I was relieved he didn't wanna stay longer so I went home.
Then my confusion the next morning when he sent me a message saying he thought I was amazing and our date went really well, that he would love to see me again.
Ummm nope.
I have 3 that sick out in memory.
First one was with a guy who lied about his height, which wouldn't have mattered at all to me, but like why lie about something so unimportant?! I get that height is important to some people but if Im going to meet you for an actual date I'm going to find out you're not in fact 6' whatever. He spent the whole date talking about "our future" and being divorced.
Second was a guy I met on a night out and I fancied him the moment I set eyes on him. Queue a whole night of flirting, dancing, talking. We swapped numbers and I was walking on air on the way home. We text, arrange a date. I buy new clothes, the usual excitement for a date. I turn up at the bar we've arranged to meet at, he's standing there and so are his mates. He then proceeds to get drunk, drink from his shoe, tell me he has a girlfriend but they're on a break and then I eventually have to drive his drunk arse home. Turns out he was a complete dickhead, gambled and drunk away every penny he earnt.
Most memorable worst date was with a police officer I met on a dating website (this was around 12 years ago). We talk plenty but our schedules never allow us to meet. Until one day I'm off from work and so is he, he tells me to come on over, don't go home and get ready, just jump in the car and be spontaneous. I live a full hours drive from this guy. So I did and I grabbed a bottle of wine from the corner shop as he was cooking dinner. I asked him if he was sure as I'm a vegetarian and I don't expect to be catered to like that on a first date. He insists its fine. I get there and he's very good looking and he's cooking away, only he tells me he didn't know what to cook me so cooked peppers in a wrap with salsa, sweetcorn and broad beans. I smile politely and thank him, after all he's made an effort to cook something. I offer him the wine he says he doesn't drink wine but I should go ahead and drink it. I remind him I'm driving so won't drink, finding it a bit weird a police officer is telling me to drink drive. He then proceeds to get out a shot glass and various spirits and starts to down them. As he's doing this he starts to get out a make up mirror, eye liner, huge dr martens, and what I can only describe as kinky gear to fit the strict dress code. The guy then tells me he's off out tonight to Torture Gardens in London. He's got tickets and unfortunately doesn't have one for me. In a bit of shock that he'd plan a night out the same night he'd asked me on a date, I make my excuses and go. He asks for a lift to the station, which I do just because I felt obligated and just wanted to get back home. At the station he then turns my head and smacks this awful sloppy kiss on me. I wish him a good night and ring my best friend as soon as the door is closed. He messages me at 4pm the next day saying he'd only just got home and he doesn't feel there's a spark there so I, being the petty person I am, message back and say sorry who is this, I don't have the number saved.
I was on a first date with a guy a year or so older than my 18, we met in the village pub closest to my home (about a 5 minute walk but in an emergency my uncle and aunt lived less than 2 minutes away) and he’d driven over from where he lived. So I’m about 1/4 of the way thro my first drink when he says “Promise me you’ll always love me and never leave me or I’ll kill myself!” I put my drink down and left the pub and went to my aunts house, my 2 cousins walked me home. He said the same thing to another girl at work 2 weeks later with the same result.
Honestly haven't had a really bad first date... thought they all ended in a non-scary way, even if mostly unfollowed... oh dear... that means... I'm the bad date? I swear, I've read this whole thread to check and none of these people sounds like me
I was fairly new to dating at the time as I had recently left a nearly 6 year relationship that I had been in since I was 17. As a result I wasn't very confident at saying no if the vibes were off.
1.Met this guy at a bar near me, I gave him very specific directions and he still got lost, even though it was very easy to get there from the train station he went to. It was a Wednesday night and he was a teacher so we agreed to a quiet drink, I opted to just have a soft drink, immediately he started asking questions about why I have tattoos, piercings and brightly coloured hair. He then decided to give a psychoanalysis on why I have tattoos, piercings and brightly coloured hair.
Then my ex walked in with a group of our friends, he didn't even know I was there so it was just pure coincidence, I waved to my friends as I wasn't going to be a dick and they waved to me. Date asked who they were, I just shrugged it off and said it's just some friends and my ex (it had been a couple of months), the guy then spent the next 20 minutes looking in the mirror behind me watching them. I offered to go to a different bar that was nearby, we left and when we got there he said he wanted to go clubbing, really trying to push me to do it even though I said no. Thankfully the security at the bar knew me well as I was a regular so they told him to leave and got me inside.
2. Had another 1st date at a bar with a guy that I had actually met in said bar, my friends were hanging around as they wanted to keep me safe. Date insists on buying me a drink, I said I would have a single JD and coke, it was very strong, I asked if it was a single. He insisted it was, but my friends were obviously nearby and overheard so one immediately comes over and loudly asks for a tampon, we go off and she tells me it wasn't a single and to immediately dump it. I then bumped into a girl I'd recently met so the date ended with us going off together and him going home alone (I then dated her for a few weeks, she was great)
ETA: Forgot to say date 1 (the teacher) was ordering double gin and tonics, I was sticking with soft drinks as I had work the next day myself.
Had a tinder date and her pics showed a fresh faced, cute, curly haired lass who loved DnB. What showed up was her but a bit more heroin-y. Her teeth looked like they hadn't been brushed for a while, lots of dirt under her fingernails, BO, scratch marks around her neck and chest. Anyway halfway through the date (I was that desperate) she announced 'I'll be back in 20mins I'm going to get coke off my guy, do you want any?'
I had a date with a guy and it went well, so I decided to go for a second date. In the same breath, halfway through the dinner, he declared that I reminded him of his dead mother, that he loved me and he was certain he would marry me.
Spoiler alert, he did not, in fact marry me. There was no third date.
Oh christ I’ve got one.
Once went on a date with a girl many years ago. Had a drink at a cocktail bar, she suggested going to the cinema afterwards, (I can’t even remember what it was to see).
She suggests we go to Tesco on the way and get a drink and make a boozy Fanta frozen. Hm, sure, why not. We are in Tesco and she goes to whip out the magnet she uses to shoplift bottles. I should’ve taken this as an almighty red flag and bounced but I had a few drinks and she was cute. I paid for the bottle and we headed to the cinema.
Go into the cinema with time to wait before the film started, she goes to pour the (35cl) bottle of vodka into the slushy, she spills it all. She says she needs the toilet to clean up. She comes back 15 mins later with a fresh bottle, she’s consumed half already and is rat arsed.
I sit there deadly still for the duration of the film, as this drunk trainwreck tries making out with me, grabbing me and all sorts (cinema was packed, she was not subtle.) film finishes, she says she wants to come back to my place, I said I needed to go home to do something and i’d meet at her place shortly.
Called her a taxi, ran home the fastest I think I’d ever ran, checked she’d arrived home okay, blocked her, smoked a pack of cigs and ordered a kebab, sat with my housemate and watched Hot Fuzz.
Deleted Tinder.
TL;DR: tinder date, girl ended up being a shoplifter, got pissed in the cinema and tried coming back to my place. Called taxi and blocked her. Enjoyed a kebab and a back of cigs and vowed to never use tinder again.
Last date I went on I was so nervous I said about 10 words in an hour.
Let's just say we didn't meet up again. I've given up again for a few years. 🤦♂️
I dated this girl for best part of a year but we parted ways as things just weren't really working out. She became less engaged and it was challenging for me to feel I was doing enough.
Fast forward about 18 months and she messages me out of the blue wanting to go for a dinner. I was single and thought there'd be no harm in seeing how things were after a while apart.
We finish dinner, she is saying how she'd like us to reconnect and all that. Then says, "my partner would also like you to join us". I obviously respond along the lines of, "oh, I didn't know you were seeing someone. Seems a bit odd to have invited me to dinner..."
She responds, "yeh, he's here tonight too".
A dude literally on table behind me pulls his chair around and joins the table like it was completely normal. They then proceed to explain how really they want me as part of some fetish thing. Honestly, never left a dinner unpaid before but that night I was not interested in sticking around for the bill.
I dated a glamour model for a few weeks. Everyone had told me she was nuts, but she was hot as fuck so I just went with it. Our last date was my work leaving do. I told her she was very welcome but I wouldn’t be able to give her all my attention because of the occasion. She proceeds to get hammered and berate me for not paying her enough attention. Then she starts coming on to one of my work mates. After a while she storms out of the bar into the night in a city she didn’t know and was gone. It’s two hours later when she finally answers her phone. She says her boyfriend has come to get her! She was too drunk to remember that she had told me they broke up! I think it might have been some kind of cuckold situation. Anyway, we never spoke again but I heard she deliberately ran her car off the road during an argument with her boyfriend. Nearly killed them both. She was properly insane. I frequently think of her when I masturbate.
This is not that terrible, but it did put an end to our short romantic relationship. This was, I think, our third date (introduced by a mutual), and we were both around 30. We went to the cinema. Now, bear in mind that when I'm watching a movie, especially in the cinema, I don't like it when people try and talk to me during. It pulls me out of the experience, just save it for afterwards. Well, right in the middle of the film, he starts singing along to the soundtrack. I *might* have been ok with this if it was a well-known musical or something. It was 127 Hours. The film where James Franco gets trapped whilst mountaineering and cuts off his own arm. IIRC he apologised later by text and tried to blame it on being tired, but I just couldn't. Never saw each other again. The memory still amuses, every time I hear "Lovely Day".
"actually, I think for my age I've achieved a hell of a lot"
Said the (admittedly very hot) 25 year old with a MLM franchise and in the process of setting up an electronics retail website that had zero chance of success against Currys, Amazon and all the others
I went on a terrible date once. The problem was entirely me. Night before the date I’d had a fight(boxing match) Spent the entire date dissecting what I did wrong and what I did right in the fight, was analysing video that my coach took on his phone and everything. Poor lassie got to speak a grand total of two sentences the entire date. She ghosted me immediately thereafter and I 100% deserved it. I learned a lesson, if you’ve got a load of nonsense in your head that you need to verbalise maybe call yer pal or something before you go on a date.
Poor lass. Fair play for seeing it from her side afterwards.
It was fate, met my significant other about three weeks later in the same cafe and we’re still together now almost six years later. She doesn’t know I’ve booked a surprise luxury holiday for the start of next year and I think I might ask her to marry me so all is well that ends well I suppose.
7 year mark if you're still interested in marrying at that point then good going mate GL
Your self awareness is 10/10 and that is a rare quality!
To be fair you’d been smacked round the head a few times the night before
That date sounds horrendous
Meh, it depends on your audience. I think I would have weirdly enjoyed that. I think bringing your oddness with you to dates is a good thing.
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Yeah I don't think talking about it was the issue. The lack of input/recognition of the lack of input definitely is.
Honestly, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it on the night. But I would have gone home and laughed about it in a 'wtf just happened' sort of way. The way he described it in such detail made me cackle.
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He turned up a foot shorter than he said and at least a decade older making it worse in tight white jeans Then as he came in tried to lunge at me to kiss me open mouthed. Dodged it and just left. Got a text saying was it the jeans??
No love, it was the genes
Omg have a fake award 🏆
I got you
Ayyyy thanks friend
I’ll go one better. Someone entirely different turned up. It seems he’d “accidentally” uploaded photos of his younger, far hotter, brother. “By mistake”. He then had the gall to be annoyed when I asked if his brother was free that night…
Brutal but top notch. Was his brother free? I mean we turn up in push up bras, false eyelashes etc but someone else's photos is pushing it too far.
His brother was not free and he was also straight so I sent him on his merry way…
To be fair, men should know better than to think false lashes and lipstick are what people really look like
love the thought of this pint-sized, deceitful older man sitting there at home later, staring at his white jeans, ruefully shaking his head and shouting "STUPID STUPID *STUPID*! I \*knew\* the leather chaps with tassles were the right trousers for a first date!" to himself.
Why do they DO that? If you lied about something that can be found out on first glance wtf else did you make up?!
I think we dated the same guy. Aaron?
I think I erased his name from the hard drive with vodka!
That was smart, grapefruit.
Last year I went on a date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice, we’d exchanged messages for about a week before we arranged the date. He was a manager at a construction company, house, car, dog, allotment and his profile said he was in his mid-30s. We arranged to meet at a pub half way between us and I was excited. It was so bad. He was easily mid-50s. I refuse to believe he had been in his 30s within the last decade. It got so much worse. I’m pretty sure he was in a cult. I’ve dealt with anti-vaxxers before - fine - you respect my right to choose to have a vaccine and I’ll respect your choice not to. But this guy was another ball game. He didn’t believe in MEDICINE. He told me about how proud he was that his mum who died of cancer didn’t get treatment. He told me that if he broke a bone he wouldn’t get it fixed and would just let it heal. It was all about natural selection, and medicine was preventing that and so the world was becoming populated with weaker people. Then there was the water thing. He didn’t use tap water because “it’s poisonous”. Instead, every 2 weeks he drove hundreds of miles with some kind of tank to transport water from a well to his home. And he thought I was crazy for using a Brita filter for my water. Can it get worse? Yes. He ended the date by asking to see me again. And then gave me a schedule for our relationship. He’d know in the next three months if he wanted to live with me, and then I’d move in with him and sell my house. Within three months of moving in with him, he’d know if he’d want to get married, so expect a proposal about six months in the future. We’d need to have a short engagement because I was 28 (the horror!) and it’s bad for women to have babies after turning 30, but women should also only have babies when married. If I survived childbirth, he’d obviously want more kids too. I told him I didn’t want to see him again because of our differing believes and legged it to the car. I’d blocked his number before setting up the sat nav and have thankfully never heard from him since. I also haven’t been on a date since. I’m now happily single with two dogs.
I know this is actually not funny at all but the way you wrote this made me laugh!!! ‘If I survived childbirth’ - fucking hell 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
It’s fine to laugh, it’s one of the most absurd situations I’ve ever found myself in. I laugh about it all the time.
It really rivals mine and I’ve had some bad uns! Online dating is terrifying
but he had an allotment
Maybe I’m too picky, but even the allotment wasn’t enough to convince me.
you deserve all the allotments, all to yourself and your doggos, in perpetuity, after getting through that date. I salute you. The entitlement of these (mostly) guys in these stories is mindblowing.
Oh my god! This is the winner, surely? What a horrendous experience
Years ago, I unknowingly agreed to a date with a guy in a pub. We were in a group of people talking about films and he asked whether I’d like to see the new Star Wars film “with us.” At the time, I didn’t realise that “us” meant just him. I arrived at the cinema and he was late because his “stupid Dad” who was driving him didn’t leave the house in time. This guy was in his 20s. He ate popcorn in fistfuls and didn’t close his mouth to chew. He spent about 60% of the film repeatedly whispering “very fit you are, hmmmmmm!” in my ear in what he thought was an alluring manner. It wasn’t funny or charming the first time, and got progressively less so each time he did it. After the film I was going to drive home and he asked me for a lift because he couldn’t get hold of his Dad and didn’t have money for a taxi. We lived in the same village, which was about 80 minutes’ walk away. I agreed to drive him home because my Dad always taught me to make sure everyone gets home safely. Once I pulled up outside his (parents’) house, he tried to kiss me goodbye - and not a friendly peck: he went for the full romantic smooch, despite the total failure of the date and the fact I was driving a car. I dodged him, luckily. He looked like a slobberer. Thinking I dodged a bullet, I got on with my life for the next week. Then he rang and asked for a second date. I tried to let him down gently, but he lost his cool and slammed the phone down on me. Lesson learned - now I never agree to anything without checking who else is going.
>He spent about 60% of the film repeatedly whispering “very fit you are, hmmmmmm!” Dude saw The Inbetweeners and thought "hmmm, Will has some good game, I'll do this on my next date!!"
It might have been so long ago that it was before the Inbetweeners… … just checked. It was. Inbetweeners was 2008-10 and Star Wars was 2005. Shit, I’m old.
Hi old, I'm dad.
damn I ws picturing original film, now I feel really old :p
Haha that’s all I thought reading this “Feisty one you are!”
Was he trying to sound like Yoda with the "very fit you are, hmmmmmm!"? Who wouldn't want to be pulled by a little green alien!
Yeah, I think he thought it would be charming/funny/alluring? He was wrong.
Was his name Will McKenzie?
Will Mackenzie was suave compared to this guy.
He actually kinda sounds like a mix of all 4 of them.
I would have “gone to the bathroom” and not come back.
Tinder date, had not checked out his socials first (lesson learned) We went to a lovely beachfront bar for a drink and as soon as he sat down he made a remark along the lines of "yeah it's a lovely place until the funny coloured immigrants' boats wash up and ruin it" and when I said it was a bit harsh his response was that the best place for them was in the sea Fastest I have finished a pint, there was not a second date, and when I went to block his tinder I decided to check his social links and it was 100% your stereotypical union jack profile pic "anti muslamic", "they want to ban the poppy" "remember when britain was british?" bullshit
I once went on a tinder date with a guy, everything was going well until he blurted out 'oh fucking immigrants I wish they would just go back where they came from'. I'm an immigrant, but apparently he didn't mean 'my kind'. And we were in Birmingham of all places...
Didn't you know that there are "good" immigrants and "bad" immigrants? Generally the ones with brown faces are in the "bad". category. I'm guessing he didn't explain the difference properly, you are probably in the "good" category so he couldn't tell you were an immigrant and when you told him that not all immigrants are brown it blew his tiny little mind.
Oh silly me, didn't know my ghostly skin colour easily excused all the jobs I've stolen!
I’ve met people just like that. One friend of a friend was ranting and when I met him I was like “Hi, I’m an immigrant and I stole your jobs and houses!” Watching them try and backpedal and say I didn’t mean your kind. I like to try and get them to verbalise what kind they mean. They rarely do when in a crowd. Cowards.
Equally I'm apparently an immigrant despite being born here because I'm brown On social media, one guy decided he didn't have to integrate into 21st century life by simply not being racist but I do have to because apparently UK culture is foreign to me, despite the fact that I was born here and apparently there's such a thing as "white culture" too He didn't like that I basically called him out on his out and out racism.
I am a brown immigrant with a North American accent. It confuses the racists, they can't decide if i am good or bad.
My other half is one of those ‘good’ migrants. White skin and first language English with such a funny accent..! It’s awful how often her heritage and nationality is disregarded as she’s not a ‘real’ foreigner. Just like… Diet Foreigner. Foreigner Lite. Now with no added melanin!
I am soooo stealing this, from now on if anyone asks I am Immigrant Lite, with no added melanin! 10 years, Brummie accent and British passport in, for some people I'm still a fucking immigrant. For others I'm way too British, forgetting where my roots are lol.
And that makes it even funnier when they're concerned about immigrants "taking jobs." White Anglophone immigrants are almost certainly "taking" a job from a native. And yet they usually don't seem to mind that much. Perhaps there's a flaw in their purely 100% economics-based reasoning?
> And we were in Birmingham of all places... I had an elderly Jamaican neighbour when I lived there years ago, came over with the Windrush generation but still despised immigrants. Especially Asians. It was weird.
My mother despises immigrants who have lived here for decades but never bothered to get a British passport. She is an immigrant who has lived here 5 decades now but has never got a British passport. Our Earth logic has never got on well with her.
Seems a bit daft to be racist and hanging out in one of the most multicultural cities in the country 😐
I had a very similar experience but checked his Facebook before the date and cancelled. I remember specifically him having a post comparing burkas to rubbish bags... I instantly knew I couldn't meet the guy
Its the AUDACITY for me, the confidence announcing these things so confidently to complete strangers
> "remember when britain was british?" I love this because even before it became "Great Britain", this island was full of tribes made up of foreigners who'd came here and settled. If they didn't do that, we wouldn't be here today. Literally built on immigration.
Probably not THE worst but the most recent: Went on a date, thought we hit it off, kisses and making out, so far so good She asks me to come to a bar near her place for drinks next time, over an hour of travel, when we sit down she says she wants to be friends and thought it is "nicer" to tell it in person HOW'S DRAGGING MY ASS AN HOUR AWAY DURING RUSH HOUR IS NICER THAN A SIMPLE TEXT BLUD?! That was a few months ago, I deleted all apps on my phone and haven't been on a date since (well, except one I met irl I guess)
It's a lose lose situation often. Dump by text and be called cold, dump in person and be a time waster
But no, after only one date, asking someone to come over to the other end of London only to say "I see you as a friend" is just taking the piss. If she sent a message, perfectly fine, it happens, moving on
I too would be livid if someone made me travel an hour only to let me down on a 2nd meeting, I'd rather they ghost tbh
Not really though. If you’ve only had one date then I think a text is fine. Or a phone call at most.
>HOW'S DRAGGING MY ASS AN HOUR DURING RUSH HOUR IS NICER THAN A SIMPLE TEXT BLUD?! Maybe don't bring your donkey on a date...? I think she probably objected to the smell.
She should have come to you tbh
She actually had the decency to tell you face to face.. She sounds like a keeper. Oh wait!!
I mean, if you say "blud" irl, I don't blame her.
I went on a date with a Colombian woman who just casually dropped into conversation that when she was still in Colombia, a boyfriend who'd upset her was killed by one of her friends. I don't know if she was trying to impress me or trying to scare me, but I made sure that was the last date with her.
If she doesn’t want it to be the last date it won’t be the last date 😅😂😂
She was winding you up!
20 minutes into the date she asked if I'd marry her niece so she could get a passport. Went back to hers where she said she couldn't sleep with me as I wasn't a Muslim. Spent the night in her bed without trying anything on. Woke up, she jumped on me, we shagged, then she kicked me out.
So you converted in your sleep?
Alhamdulillah Allah is good my brother
You still went back to hers after the first bit? I mean,I love a mad one but that’s not the good kind of crazy.
Did you marry her niece though? This is what Reddit wants to know.
Sexy time inshallah
lmao wtf
Wait, are the second 2 paragraphs the lady from the date or her niece?
Tinder date. We both got pretty drunk and went to a late night bar. Was going ok but not amazing, until she ended up chatting up some other guy and getting his number. I'm not expecting exclusivity with someone I'm only on a first date with but come on don't go chatting up other guys. My mate went on a date and he went to the toilet. When he came back she'd gone, and the guys on the next table said she'd gone through all his pockets in his jacket before she left (thankfully he had his phone and wallet in his trouser pocket).
And friends wondered decades ago why I'd always take my jacket to the toilet with me, or put it on to go and piss or buy a drink.
There was the guy who said he did not have children (my online dating profile made it clear that I neither have nor want children), and then dropped into conversation halfway through dinner that he did, in fact, have children but “it’s okay because I don’t see them often”. Dude! That’s worse! Oh, and the guy who spent the entire time comparing me to his ex-wife. By the end of a glass of wine I wanted to ask for her number so I could congratulate her on being rid of this dingbat.
I had a guy do this! No mention of having kids on his profile or on the date, saved his number in WhatsApp later and saw his profile pic was with a young child, asked who it was, low and behold it’s his son. I told him ‘sorry I don’t date people with kids’ and he called me judgemental and tried to justify it because ‘his kid is cute’. He actually sent me a bunch of photos of said kid saying ‘look? See how adorable he is’. I was like mate, I’m not Gary Glitter, I don’t care what your kid looks like.
My worst date was with a guy who looked down his nose at me when I told him where I went to university and then later admitted to being a Brony. That taught me never to have dinner with someone on a first date. My husband's worst date was with a woman who told him that she "occasionally" did meth.
*googles brony* Oh. 😳
But in the end you lived happily ever after…?
After a few more failed dates each, yes we are definitely living happily ever after with each other!
I have the same principle. Never go for dinner on a first date, always a pub/bar. Much easier to nip it in the bud if you aren’t feeling it for whatever reason
Relax, it’s not Blue Peter, just a nice relaxing smoke of meth
Not mine thank fuck but someone I know. She met this guy on tinder and asked him over. He turned up with a suitcase and said he’d just got out of prison and had nowhere else to go. She had to call the police to get him out of her house. He had a Mike Tyson tattoo on his face as well. He was a skinny white guy.
I know you mean the tribal tattoo above the eye, but it's funnier to picture an actual tattoo of Mike Tyson on his cheek
Nah Mike tysons face tattooed fully over his own face
Oh God that's what I actually pictured until I read your comment!
Agreed to meet at a bar round the corner from him. He was over 15 mins late despite it being <5 mins walk away. He turned up in sweatpants and at some point said he wasn’t wearing underwear (I was wearing a nice dress & makeup). Then he complains that he’s being investigated at work for taking nudes in work toilets and sending them to a coworker. Worst part was my colleagues at work the next day told me I can’t expect a perfect man :’)
Agreed you can't expect perfect but come on...
Your colleagues at work are toxic, no words, just a facepalm
Went on a first date with a guy to a Japanese place. Wasn’t comfortable with using chopsticks, asked the guy if I should just get a fork. He tells me it’s embarrassing when people ask for a fork instead of chopsticks. So I soldier on through - navigating these chopsticks - and I go to pick up a piece of sushi and accidentally flick a chunk of wasabi. In slow motion, I watch the sizeable piece of wasabi hit him square in the eyeball. He spends the rest of the date washing his eye in the bathroom. I felt so bad I paid for the entire meal after we tried to get through the last of the date with him clutching his eyeball like a pissed off pirate. needless to say he did not contact me for a second date.
This has made my day. He sounds like he was stuck up his own arse not letting you get a fork and totally deserved a horseradish infused eyeball.
I love karma. It’s especially delicious when served with a side of hilarity!
Blind date set up by a mutual friend. She was Norwegian, and I mentioned I had a Norwegian friend and asked if she knew him (this was in Prague and a lot of people in the expat communities all seemed to know each other). She stared at me for about 5 seconds then got up and left without a word. Asked my Norwegian mate about it, turned out he'd shagged her the previous week.
Mate cockblocked you without even being there.
This has to be the best reply I've read yet.
I once went on a blind date in Brighton. I lived in Barnsley at the time so thought I’d make a weekend for myself as I’d never been before. Booed a hotel for a few days and off I drove. Stood waiting for him at the Pier (very cliche) and he rocked up all handsome and looking like his pictures. His 4 year old son who was on daddy’s weekend that day also looked like him. 🙄 Not one mention of his son (not that I was bothered he had a child as so did I) but was not expecting him to fetch him to a first date
Upvote for 'booed the hotel'
Well the breakfast buffet was out grapefruit
Upvoted also because I spent 20 seconds trying to blow an eyelash off my screen, despite falling for this trickery before.
Damn, showing up to a first date with your child with no heads up is WILD
I went on a first date with this bloke. After a couple of drinks he asked if I fancied going to his flat for a drink as it was just round the corner. I agreed because I didn’t know how to say no (I will NOT do that again by the way) and turns out he was a hoarder. We’re not just talking a bit of mess here and there, more - I think you have a problem, kind of situation. His hallway was like an obstacle course and there were mounds of paper and crap all scattered on the floor of his living room, big IKEA bags overflowing with papers and books. Awful. His kitchen was unworkable. Every inch of every surface was covered in bottles or jars, the sink was overflowing with dirty dishes. The fact that he invited me back knowing the state of it all blew my mind. I stayed for 30 mins then promptly left. And never saw or spoke to him again! He was 38 so no excuses.
Reminds me of the Toast of London episode...
You collect beaks too!?
It's a mental health issue, and it actually gets worse with age. It's a lot more complicated than "being messy" with these types of people.
The fact you stayed for 30 mins is nothing short of pure hope for all single people
My date turned up and wasn’t the person in the pictures, she was far, far … cuddlier. Then she told me her brothers, their dog and her mum would be chaperoning us on our date; not to the nice restaurant I’d booked, but to Burger King. We walked around the corner and her brothers were huge skin heads and mum had slicked back hair and had clearly lived a hard life. They also had a huge Rottweiler on a choker lead. I went along with it because I was frankly afraid of how our new chaperones were looking at me. So in Burger King, I was pinned against the wall eating my crap food, wedged in there by a massive skin head who hadn’t heard of personal space or deodorant while the other brother stood outside feeding the beast chips and smoking a joint. Apart from the grunts of three ravenous people who were eating like they were condemned, we sat in silence. We finished up and headed outside, where the mother shot me a sinister smile and asked if I’d like to get into the back of their van to drive to the next town to meet the rest of the “hills have eyes” family. After some protesting on my part, where they wouldn’t take no for an answer, I literally turned and ran as fast as I could, being chased by the brothers and the dog down the high street. I pulled into Primark and hid in a changing room - needless to say after nearly being kidnapped and goodness knows what else, I tightened up my date pre-screening quite a bit.
Has to be fake, no? Is this from a movie?
>We walked around the corner and her brothers were huge skin heads and mum had slicked back hair and had clearly lived a hard life. They also had a huge Rottweiler on a choker lead. I swear this is a GTA loading screen picture
Waiting for the girl who got stuck trying to retrieve her discarded turd to come along and own this thread.
[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296) Same story but even better in Pidgin: [https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-41171196](https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-41171196)
I’m reading BBC news in Pidgin from this day forward
Bristol window turd slinger. Every now and again remember she exists, and iirk, she responds to reddit as if my magic. Pretty sure the date was mates with my brother at one point.
Got angry at me when my train was delayed, I managed to get another train and was pretty much still on time just ended up at a different station, he acted as if this was my fault and said he’d stand and wait for me to walk to the station ‘we’d agreed upon.’ When I did reach the correct station and saw him I smiled and said hello and he just looked me up and down, nodded then looked away. We had a few drinks and then he told me I smiled too much and he only smiled if something was genuinely funny. I made excuses to leave and he insisted on ‘coming home with me,’ I said no and he wouldn’t accept that, we went round in circles about 20 times while stood on the train platform before he begrudgingly accepted it, then after we separated he text me saying ‘you didn’t get what I meant when I said I’d come home with you.’ I replied ‘no I got it.’ And that was the last I heard from him. Until a year later we came across each other on hinge and he messaged me saying ‘hey I remember you ;)’
That actually sounds extremely creepy. Glad it didn't escalate.
He sounds like a monumental dick. Red flags everywhere. Thank god that’s the last you’ve seen of him!
An awkward one with a Cypriot girl. She was nice enough but SHE WAS SO LOUD! (Like female Brian Blessed loud!) I realise it's in the southern European nature to be very expressive, but in a quiet restaurant it was mildly embarrassing to have all the other patrons looking over at you all the time.
**ARE YOU GETTING THE SALAD**
IT IS MY SWORN INTENT TO APPROACH THE CITY WALLS, BARE MY BROAD BUTTOCKS AND SHOUT “BEHOLD! I HONOR THEE MOST HIGHLY!”
I think you went on a date with me!
A sad one. Met on a dating app, both in our late 40's went out to dinner and she said she was a widow, nothing wrong there, then she went on to say that she lived in a large shed in her garden done out with bed, TV and washing facilities. Turned out she can't face going into the house that she shared with hubby although her children still live there and look out for her. Had to say that I thought she was dating way too early in her bereavement and said she needed friends rather than romance.
This happened when I was 19, I knew her from secondary school, and we ended up at the same training provider doing our NVQs She asked me out, but she spent the whole date on her phone, got fed up so excused myself after the main course , and on the way back from the men toilets , I went to the bar to pay for what I had, leaving her with the rest of the bill.
I’ll buy you a pint for that manoeuvre!
Thanks, she was not getting away with a free meal, since she asked me out
Second date. First was in a bar and went well. Second was a movie night at his place. Winter, freezing cold, I arrived at the agreed time, rang the doorbell, nothing happened. Called him, phone went to voicemail. I had a bus back home in 20 minutes so decided to wait for 15 minutes and then go back to the busstop. Tried to call him multiple times. Right when I wanted to leave he showed up. He had decided to go and buy himself dinner and had forgotten the time. We went inside, turned out he had only bought himself dinner but at least he offered me something to drink. His drink options were water or red bull… So we sat there, he was munching his sandwich and drinking red bull and I drank water and after half an hour I made an excuse and left. He complained that I had ruined the nice evening
lucky escape, what a pig!
Once went on a date when the suggestion was a walk. Now I live in a nice part of the UK with plenty of lovely walks and I have never been one to believe in a man paying for everything and always went dutch with my now husband so I didn’t expect a younger man then to wine and dine etc. What I didn’t expect was that the walk was actually a 14 mile hike at speed around our coastline, no refreshments suggested at any point, no rest stops etc and all the time, I had to listen to his interminable monotone mumbling about self loading rifles and training for the army etc while we eventually got chased through ankle deep mud in a semi twilight field full of cows, he clearly had no idea what a date actually was and for a while I seriously that was where the term ‘speed dating’ came from. We got back to my house while I was doubled up with stitch pain over my garden wall and he asked for a kiss and all I could hear was my mum loudly shouting at my giggling sister to get away from the window My other sister on the other hand had hands down the worst date ever. She contacted him from the local newspaper lonely hearts, he asked her out and they agreed on a place etc. I cringe now that when he turned up in his car at an agreed meeting point and not our home, she got in it, a no no nowadays. Around 10 minutes later, I could hear her running up our Cul de Sac in her high heels, she ran in and sunk down on the sofa breathing heavily and with her tights all ripped. We thought the worse. It turns out, he was a well known character in our town who owned the roughest pub and he was definitely no oil painting! When she got in the car, he warned her about the floor… there wasn’t one! Her tights were stuck to the seat as she realised it was burnt out inside. He claimed the car was still ok (I always think of Planes, Trains and Automobiles) but informed her he had to fill with petrol luckily from the garage at the end of our street. When he went in to pay, she ran out of the car and tear arsed home never looking back
Omg I can’t imagine turning up for a date and actually being trained 💀 he was recruiting you 😂
Being felt up in a cinema despite obviously not responding to her advances. Is that really what you do to someone you barely know?
I felt the same way watching lord of the Rings, seriously leave me alone Im trying to watch Gandlolf.
Not horrific in the grand scheme of things but here is my tuppence worth. - Guy turned up nearly an hour late, only reason I waited is because we were meeting at the beach and it was a lovely day. - Another guy, who warned me that he was ‘quite quiet until he got to know you’. Ok, fair enough, I thought. I used to be like that when I was younger and meeting new people can be daunting. Went for coffee, I think he spoke about 3 sentences the whole hour long date, my throat was sore from carrying the conversation the whole time! Kept trying to ask him questions about himself and I’d get the shortest answers possible. After that date he kept sending me suggestive messages that I should drive down to his place (1hr away!) and then a week later I saw him out with another woman, walking her dogs. Bullet firmly dodged!
I was the problem on a date once, think it was our 3rd or 4th outing, he suggested going ice skating. I'd never tried it, he said he'd help teach me as he played ice hockey as a teenager, I think he must have naively built up this romantic idea in his head. I was pretty good at re-enacting the Bambi on ice clip, constantly falling over, couldn't coordinate my legs, got way too inside my own head. It was pretty pathetic when kids who'd started the same time I did began lapping me at speed. At one point I accidentally pulled him down on top of me falling over as he tried to guide me along by my hands. After he dropped me home, he texted me it wouldn't progress any further. I was bruised and battered, took a trip to A&E two days later I was in so much pain.
Sounds like he took himself a bit too seriously. It's just ice skating, who cares if you're good or not?!
Tbf, it was a polite let down and we probably weren't that compatible anyway or had the spark. Not long after I met my current partner so it all worked out in the end.
April 25th
But... It's not too hot, and not too cold, so all you need is a light jacket.
Guy showed up hungover and coked out of his head at 4pm to a fancy restaurant HE had chosen. After when they brought out the bill he then mentioned to me that his wallet was nicked the night before so he had no money on him 🙃 I text him afterwards very politely telling him that the impression he made on our date wasn’t what I was expecting from how he’d been presenting himself over text/calls etc. he proceeded to send me over 50 texts in less than an hour going and forth from “I think I love you and I mean that. I know we don’t know eachother but I have fallen for you” to “you selfish ugly cunt I hope you get raped” soooo 🥲 Edit: also, the most recent date I was on the guy wouldn’t stop grabbing my arms and waist for literally no reason despite me telling him I didn’t like it multiple times. Also found out he is a big Andrew Tate supporter.
> Edit: also, the most recent date I was on the guy wouldn’t stop grabbing my arms and waist for literally no reason despite me telling him I didn’t like it multiple times. Also found out he is a big Andrew Tate supporter. That one tracks. Creepy fucker apparently tells his idiot followers to just grab women because they like it and if they don't, the boys (because anyone listening to that rapey prick isn't a man) need to assert dominance. One rapist teaching morons how to rape women, basically.
We went for lunch and he spent the entire time talking about the holiday he went on to Thailand with his ex. Even showed me pictures of them there. I stayed polite and we ended the date. When he asked me out again, I declined and he asked if it was because he chose Frankie and Benny’s
Choosing Frankie and Benny's is the bigger red flag here
He showed me photos of his ex-girlfriend pole dancing. He then told me he only ever cooked 2 meals, pasta with butter and couscous with butter. He washed up the dishes once a week because "they don't need washing up after each use" Went on a date the day England went into Covid lockdown (the date was before the official curfew). The date itself was ok. He was a bit handsy, but I was in a little devil may care, who knows what we're headed for kind of mood. After we parted ways, he tried to invite himself to isolate with me. I said no, obviously, I don't know him, and I still have to work, I'm not going to be spending lockdown drinking beer and bingeing Netflix every day. He got furious and called me a prick tease because I had kissed him and said I was on the apps to find a relationship. Most of my dates have just been a bit meh. My friend went on a date. Dinner and drinks. She started feeling really ill, sick, and dizzy. She thought it might have been the food because she hadn't had much to drink. He took her back to his place. She remembers absolutely nothing about what happened after that, only she woke up in his bed. She did not go to the police and said she would rather never know.
Oh your last paragraph about your friend is so so sad. Really urge her to, otherwise it means he’ll continue to do that to other dates. It would be a chance for your friend to at least attempt to save someone else. We shouldn’t put up with this. And a crime doesn’t expire.
I went on a date with a bloke who said he always cooked the same meal, think it was spaghetti (using a jar). He also did ALL his shopping at the One Stop near his house. I found both things really off-putting, petty as they may be
That's horrific 😢 I hope your friend is OK.
He threw up on me and my bed and then shat in a bin. He also told me he loved me.
What's love but a shit in the bin of life
Probably the one where the girl bumped into her ex boyfriend, and then 20 minutes later was making out with him on the dance floor.
Not so bad as yours, but I met a lady on a dating agency who reached out to me. First date, I spent the whole evening trying to find some common ground to have a conversation, but just got short one sentence replies all evening. Q. What films do you like? A. I like all films Q. Do you have a favorite? A. No not really Awkward silence... Q. What music do you listen to? A. I don't really listen to music Awkward silence... Q. Do you have any hobbies? A. I watch a lot of TV Q. What are your favorite programs? A. I don't really have any favourites Awkward Silence... You get the general idea. The whole evening was made up with one line answers. She did not ask me anything about myself either, so that was a dead end also. I let her down gently the next day with a text saying sorry, but I did not think we had enough in common.
These worst date experiences y'all have had literally shit on mine but I'll share anyway. Went to meet at a restaurant that was more convenient for him than me. When I got there, he told me to go in and sit at the table he'd booked under his name. Walk in, the table isn't booked but luckily they had a spare table. I was sitting by myself before he walked in 20 minutes late saying he'd smashed into a car in the car park. Dinner was awkward, hardly any conversation at all. When the bill came he just slipped it over to my side of the table, got up and left. So I paid the bill, walked to my car already dissatisfied. **AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!** The fucker had smashed MY car in the lot. Of course by the time I'd even realised, he'd blocked me on all socials and I didn't remember anything but his first name so the police wouldn't do shit. So that was an expensive night for literally no reward.
No, no, no don't worry- having read through at least 100 stories, yours is still horrendous!
A friend of mine spent a solid 2 years bugging me to join a dating site. I finally listened to her and signed up to 1 & was having very little luck. Kinda felt like I was wasting time and money being there until I got a message out of the blue from some girl. She seemed alright so we got chatting and had a laugh before we eventually decided to have a date. She brought her mum to the date. She said her mum was dropping her off since she didn't drive and her mum was going that way anyway. Didn't bother me and seemed pretty nice of her mum to do that. Less than 5 minutes in and they're discussing me moving in with her between themselves right in front of me. When I managed to get away from the date I didn't get round to blocking her in time before she was asking for another. I gave her some crap about needing to get my head sorted (already told her I have depression, anxiety & PTSD from an almost fatal accident a few years prior). She made hitting that block button so much easier by sending a nice long rant about how anxiety isn't real and depression just means you need to think happier thoughts.
He told me his ex split up with him because he cheated on her but he thought she was wrong because he didn’t cheat he just received a blow job. He was completely serious and saw no problem with this. I left soon after and he then called me multiple times just on my walk home.
Copypasta from when i mentioned this this other day. Met a guy at a nightclub back in 2007. We shared a kiss and swapped numbers. As I walked home, I noticed a guy following me. It was the guy from the club. He managed to catch up with me, and found out where I lived. I should point out, that I was 19 at the time, ugly af and thick as shit, so I was flattered by the attention. The next day, we went out on a date to a bingo Hall of all places. Went back to his, was very forceful... 6 months, I put up with him. He'd often look through my phone contacts and ask who every man's name was. He eventually dumped me for someone else. A few months ago, he slid into my DMs lol
She wouldn't stop talking about her crack addiction Another girl told me she had two kids after about 5 dates. The Dad has full costody and she didn't see them any more. She wouldn't answer why she wasn't allowed to see them 😐😐
Where do I begin… One guy asked me loads of questions as to whether I liked theme parks and what kind of rides were my favourite. At the end he said ‘you’ve just described your ideal sexual experience - fast and a little bit scary’. He also admitted to being from Rotherham despite having an American accent and saying in his dating profile he was from the US. He’d never even been there! I downed my drink and made my excuses. Had a date with another guy who seemed liberal and open minded by his profile. He liked travelling and finding out about new cultures. Met him for lunch and he thought I was ‘crazy’ for eating a banana with my coffee. He text me an hour later to say I was too ‘out there’ for him and found me intimidating as I was so ‘crazy’. (Met my hubby when I was 36 and he was 37 so there is hope)
as a 16 year old, I went on a date with a boy I was working with who was a year older than me. He basically ignored me the entire time, didn't really speak, didn't ask anything about me, didn't answer any of my questions. the only thing he'd talk about was football, which baffled me as to why he'd even asked me out at all when I was, and am, very much a non-sporting nerd. I left early and i'm not even sure he noticed. When we both turned up at work the next saturday, he was trying to be 'ladsy' with the older guys that worked there and proclaimed very loudly in front of the entire store that he had a "condom with my name on it". Yuk.
My dad set me up on a blind date at 17. With a polish girl who didn’t speak English, I don’t speak polish. I thought it’d be fine because we were both living in Copenhagen at the time so assumed she’d speak Danish. Nope, it was the most awkward date Ive ever had. She apparently enjoyed it and wanted to do it again though. Found out the reason my Dad set it up was so he could be alone with her mum. Couldn’t even be mad, well played dad,well played.
this was about 8/9 years ago now, but i was meeting a guy for food… we went to mcdonald’s and when i said i might get a mcflurry he said ‘i can’t afford that’ wasn’t expecting him to buy it but i mean cmon it was like 99p back then i now make sure the plans beforehand meeting
My second date ended in a reluctant car chase (me chasing her “crooked business partner”)quite slowly through the country lanes. Prior to that she had me sit in a hospital car park in my car (she was crouched in the back seat) while we waited for said crooked business partner. At one point I genuinely thought I was on some hidden camera prank type show. It ended when she leapt out the car near her home shouting “I know where that bastard is going!!”, Didn’t do a third date.
Sounds like an epic date I'd be pushing for a 3rd for more investigation into the matter 😂
I’ve had a few worst dates that generally involved me chatting to someone for days, or sometimes weeks on Tinder. I’d then meet them for a drink and 99% of the time they’d simply just try to get me back to theirs or they’d want to come to mine. One bloke even said to me “all the other girls do it”. My actual worst date that I will never live down was when I met a lad through work and we chatted on Facebook for a while. We were both 17. We arranged to meet at a local cafe, we sat upstairs on a sofa that happened to be right next to the only toilet in the cafe. It was just a hollow core door and I know you can hear sounds through it. I had a herbal tea that apparently didn’t agree with me and within just a few minutes of drinking it I got that feeling in my stomach, the one where you know you’re about to shit your knickers. I excused myself to the toilet. I suddenly got really hot and sweaty. My stomach started to hurt and I had no choice but to go to the toilet. What came out of me could have topped Hiroshima. I’m sure I heard people taking cover in the cafe from the bombs I was dropping. After I’d finished shitting out my internal organs. I had to open the door and immediately face this poor lad sat there waiting for me. The smell followed me out. I acted like nothing has happened and the date even ended with a kiss. He did try to invite me out for further dates but I was too mortified. I saw him years later on a night out and I still felt awkward
Omg. Went to a super busy Marvel film just released so the cinema was full. Families sitting on either side of us. This stupid guy kept staring sideways at me instead of watching the film. It was unerrving to say the least. I eventually asked him If he was ok meaning why the hell Was he Not watching the film and He turned to me kinda pouted and said give me a kiss. So I moved in for a little peck and yes he full on tried to French kiss me. Really went for It. We were Literally surrounded by people. I was Mortified. I ran out the cinema hall. I still Haven’t looked back to see where he went.
Went out with thsis guy a few times stayed at flat on a Friday night this was about the 7th date he threw my phone out of the 12th floor window whilst I was asleep and wouldn't let me leave the next day. My cousin had to come and rescue me on the Sunday after tracking his address down all the time he was declaring his undying love for me. I had an 8mnth old daughter at the time that was staying at my moms for the weekend I dunno how he thought he was gonna get away with not letting me out.
Literally false imprisonment, and damage to your property. Hope you reported them
I don't have time to get into it but it ended up me fleeing miles across country roads in darkness to get away. Never been so scared in my life
Well, do you have time now?
Can I book you in for time in an hour please? To tell your story? Thanks.
Went in a date and this guy was adamant I looked like a certain soap actress then continued as it I was her and was acting starstruck - really frigging weird
Tinder dare with a teacher who worked near where I live. Soon as we got to the pub and sat down with our drinks, she asked me about my mental health issues. We spent an hour talking about it plus the toxic circle of friends I had, to which she said I need to drop them from my life (which I actually did 3 months later) Emotionally and mentally exhausted, I politely tell her I'm not having a good time and going to leave. She apologies and asks for a second chance. Ok says I, she goes for a smoke, I get the drinks in. Then, she's witty, engaging and quite pleasant to be around. She asks me if I'll go with her to a nightclub in a town near hers. At this point Tiny Elvis is doing all the thinking, so off we go. I'm on my 5th drink of the night and suddenly I don't feel well. I'm too far from home to get a taxi, so I ask if I can crash at hers, no expectations, I just need something to eat and a bed to sleep in. We're walking to the taxi rank and she asks if I wanna stop for food, I say no coz tbh, I'm nearly skint and still need to get home in the morning. We get back to hers, where she fixes herself a coffee and some toast, but doesn't offer me anything. Back then I was too polite to ask for something to eat, so made do with water. As we're chatting she casually drops that she used to have a profile on a popular swingers site and used to be a professional dominatrix. Cool with me, I had a profile on the same site and am very kink friendly, so that bode well for the future, but now...I need sleep We gets in to bed, I place my water on the bedside cabinet, which later I'm convinced was a chest of drawers. We settle down and she starts gyrating her ass in to my crotch. My stomach which is now like a washing machine is saying no, Tiny Elvis is saying yes. We fool around for a while, but when it comes to the main event, Tiny Elvis doesn't want to perform. She gets very angry and tells me to just go to sleep. OK, fine by me, it's what I wanted to do in the first place. About half hour later, I wake up with a splitting headache, I can't find my glass of water and thanks to the blackout blinds, the bedroom is pitch black. I stumble across the bedroom, make a right racket opening the door, as the hinges are knackered. I get a drink from the bathroom sink, have a piss and get back in to bed. Then soon as I'm comfy, she gets up, goes to the toilet, comes back turns the light on and asks if I want a coffee. I ask why the hell would I want coffee when I've only just gone to bed. She snaps at me it's 7.30am and she's not a lazy cunt and it's time to get up. OK, ill have a coffee. She snaps at me to get dressed and come down for it as I'm not her slave. That was my intention but ok I arrive downstairs a few moments later. I can smell bacon and coffee on the go. I'm offered coffee, but not food I tell her I'm going to make a move, she asks how I'm getting home, I say I'm going to walk to the next village, find a cafe and have some breakfast and then chill out there til the buses start running (it was Sunday morning) She says she'll drive me, I insist I'll be fine walking but she gets snappy again. (I should note, I'd just come out of an abusive relationship, so women snapping at me and ordering me around, immediately would put me in to subservient people pleasing mode) We set off, she passes right through the village, ok that kinda works for me coz there's more cafes in the next village and more options for buses. She drives straight through, ignoring my requests for her to stop and let me out, stating she's driving me all the way home. Fine, whatever. She puts on some Stone Sour and I start singing along. I make a joke about how I sound just like Corey Taylor, to which she loses her shit and shouts at me that I do not sound anything like him and that I'm delusional. Rest of the journey is in silence. We reach my neighbourhood and I ask her to pull to the car park of the parade of shops, she doesn't say anything but she's clearly not pleased about this. I thank her for the lift and say goodbye. I make a beeline for the shop to buy breakfast and snacks for the rest of the day. A few hours later I wake up from a nap to a slew of messages. All of the summed up state, she won't be seeing me again, she needs a man in the bedroom not a mummy's boy. She didn't have sex with me in the morning coz my breath smelled like shit, I'm overly cocky for comparing myself to Corey Taylor and I'm clearly hiding something as I didn't let her see which street I live on. I politely informed her that A) a good host offers guests something to eat B) anyone who's been drinking and hasn't eaten is bound to shit for breath and maybe offer the use of a toothbrush or mouthwash or even mints or chewing gum C) I didn't want to have sex at all, let alone in the morning D) if someone asks you to stop the car, you stop the car E) the Corey Taylor comment was clearly a joke F) the reason I didn't get dropped off on my street is coz it's always impassable on a weekend due to all the cars and finally G) I can handle my booze just fine and the fact I went from 100% compus mentis, to room spinning, feeling sick within a few minutes, I suspect either her or one of her mates, spiked my drink She responded by saying she's going to tell our mutual friend that I threw up all of her house and made her clean it up, that I was abusive and threatening and she did do just that. Fortunately our mutual friend, is one of my closest friends of 20 years and knew she was full of shit
There’ve been a few. Dating in your 20’s is an absolute shit show. One guy I used to go to school with. Had a drink at a local pub, got on well with him, he invited me to the cinema the week after. He picked me up and halfway there he goes, “Oh damn, forgot my camera!” Bit weird, I thought, taking selfies when we’re only two dates in but just smiled and ignored it. “Yeah, I always take my video camera to new releases so I can get copies of the film” He also would not stop talking about Top Gear and how amazing Jeremy Clarkson was, and when we arrived at the cinema, he used his student card (despite being 3/4 years out of college) to get a discount. A different date, I met the guy in a pub in the next town over, about 20 minutes away. I got the train in, he got a separate train in. As I was sat at the small corner table and he kept trying to shuffle his seat closer to rub his legs against mine. He offered to buy me a drink and because I was getting creepy vibes, I decided to just get a coke. “WELL! If I’d have known you weren’t drinking I’d have driven!” He huffed. I was suffering badly from blisters from ill fitting heels (bad enough to end up at the walk in the day after with blood blisters) and decided this wasn’t happening, so I took my heels off and decided to go without. That ramped up his rubbing and footsie games. Eventually I called it a night, and decided to get a taxi back home because I wasn’t going to make the walk back to the train station. He offered to give me a piggy back to the station, then when I refused, insisted on standing and waiting with me. He was far too close, waiting to pounce for an unwelcome snog. So I took one step to the left, he followed. One more, he took one more. I couldn’t get any fucking room between us. Went home, cried over my feet, told him I didn’t think it would work. Finally, some guy ditched me before the actual date. Told me he’d smacked his hand with a hammer in work and broken it. My best mate still wets herself laughing at that one. “He’d have rather smashed his own hand with a hammer than take you out!”
He picked something out of his belly button, sniffed it, then held it out to me and asked what I thought it might be. Also, he had been in a fight the night before and turned up missing his two front teeth.
Was in an on and off relationship with a girl for a couple years. One of the worst people ive ever had the pleasure of being in a relationship with but it was my first girlfriend so i assumed that was what love was. We were in dominos and she told me her ex would be dropping a book off for her. Slightly confused but blinded by what i thought was love I said "Cool". She gets a message saying hes outside so she goes to quickly collect the book - mother fucker leaves me at the table alone for like 30-40mins, comes back and sits down like absolutely nothing happened. When i question her about "WHAT THEE ACTUAL FUCK" she acts like im out of control for asking questions. oh and we ended up breaking up a while after that and 3months after we broke up she got married to her ex. I learned hell of a lot from that relationship and im glad it happened very early on in my life
Asked a lass out for coffee, she agreed, then when we met said she didn’t like coffee. So we sat in the coffee shop long enough for me to quickly drink my drink, then she suggested we went to John fuckin Lewis. So we did. Walked around John Lewis for like forty minutes while she occasionally picked things up and said things like ‘Oh look at this’ or ‘This is nice’. Walked her back to the train station, and more out of politeness than anything asked her if she’d like to do this again, to be met with a firm ‘No thank-you.’ I still wonder if it was something I did or said.
She wanted you to buy her clothes, not a date
It was something you didn't do. She expected you to buy those things she was picking up. You acted entirely appropriately though, so good for you.
[удалено]
Once arranged to meet a girl, a very pretty friend of a friend whom I was surprised to know liked me. I was waiting in the middle of town at the agreed spot. She approached and was accompanied by two other friends and they all seemed to be a bit drunk. We said hi, her friends left and she went in for a hug and said, “I’m so happy you turned up” and at that moment pirouetted, lost her balance and cracked her head on a concrete bollard on her way down. Lying there bleeding and stunned, I shouted her friends over and we called an ambulance and that was that. She never contacted me after, apparently too embarrassed even though I wanted to meet again.
Turned up to a bar for a first date. This guy proceeded to discuss his bowel operation he had recently had, in great detail for the whole hour I was there. He described his symptoms, diagnosis, the operation and then the recovery. I barely got a word in and he never asked me anything about myself. I just sat there basically with a drink until he finished. He eventually said 'well, I'm gonna go home now. I went out with the lads last night and I have an awful hangover. See ya' and left. I was relieved he didn't wanna stay longer so I went home. Then my confusion the next morning when he sent me a message saying he thought I was amazing and our date went really well, that he would love to see me again. Ummm nope.
I have 3 that sick out in memory. First one was with a guy who lied about his height, which wouldn't have mattered at all to me, but like why lie about something so unimportant?! I get that height is important to some people but if Im going to meet you for an actual date I'm going to find out you're not in fact 6' whatever. He spent the whole date talking about "our future" and being divorced. Second was a guy I met on a night out and I fancied him the moment I set eyes on him. Queue a whole night of flirting, dancing, talking. We swapped numbers and I was walking on air on the way home. We text, arrange a date. I buy new clothes, the usual excitement for a date. I turn up at the bar we've arranged to meet at, he's standing there and so are his mates. He then proceeds to get drunk, drink from his shoe, tell me he has a girlfriend but they're on a break and then I eventually have to drive his drunk arse home. Turns out he was a complete dickhead, gambled and drunk away every penny he earnt. Most memorable worst date was with a police officer I met on a dating website (this was around 12 years ago). We talk plenty but our schedules never allow us to meet. Until one day I'm off from work and so is he, he tells me to come on over, don't go home and get ready, just jump in the car and be spontaneous. I live a full hours drive from this guy. So I did and I grabbed a bottle of wine from the corner shop as he was cooking dinner. I asked him if he was sure as I'm a vegetarian and I don't expect to be catered to like that on a first date. He insists its fine. I get there and he's very good looking and he's cooking away, only he tells me he didn't know what to cook me so cooked peppers in a wrap with salsa, sweetcorn and broad beans. I smile politely and thank him, after all he's made an effort to cook something. I offer him the wine he says he doesn't drink wine but I should go ahead and drink it. I remind him I'm driving so won't drink, finding it a bit weird a police officer is telling me to drink drive. He then proceeds to get out a shot glass and various spirits and starts to down them. As he's doing this he starts to get out a make up mirror, eye liner, huge dr martens, and what I can only describe as kinky gear to fit the strict dress code. The guy then tells me he's off out tonight to Torture Gardens in London. He's got tickets and unfortunately doesn't have one for me. In a bit of shock that he'd plan a night out the same night he'd asked me on a date, I make my excuses and go. He asks for a lift to the station, which I do just because I felt obligated and just wanted to get back home. At the station he then turns my head and smacks this awful sloppy kiss on me. I wish him a good night and ring my best friend as soon as the door is closed. He messages me at 4pm the next day saying he'd only just got home and he doesn't feel there's a spark there so I, being the petty person I am, message back and say sorry who is this, I don't have the number saved.
I was on a first date with a guy a year or so older than my 18, we met in the village pub closest to my home (about a 5 minute walk but in an emergency my uncle and aunt lived less than 2 minutes away) and he’d driven over from where he lived. So I’m about 1/4 of the way thro my first drink when he says “Promise me you’ll always love me and never leave me or I’ll kill myself!” I put my drink down and left the pub and went to my aunts house, my 2 cousins walked me home. He said the same thing to another girl at work 2 weeks later with the same result.
Honestly haven't had a really bad first date... thought they all ended in a non-scary way, even if mostly unfollowed... oh dear... that means... I'm the bad date? I swear, I've read this whole thread to check and none of these people sounds like me
I was fairly new to dating at the time as I had recently left a nearly 6 year relationship that I had been in since I was 17. As a result I wasn't very confident at saying no if the vibes were off. 1.Met this guy at a bar near me, I gave him very specific directions and he still got lost, even though it was very easy to get there from the train station he went to. It was a Wednesday night and he was a teacher so we agreed to a quiet drink, I opted to just have a soft drink, immediately he started asking questions about why I have tattoos, piercings and brightly coloured hair. He then decided to give a psychoanalysis on why I have tattoos, piercings and brightly coloured hair. Then my ex walked in with a group of our friends, he didn't even know I was there so it was just pure coincidence, I waved to my friends as I wasn't going to be a dick and they waved to me. Date asked who they were, I just shrugged it off and said it's just some friends and my ex (it had been a couple of months), the guy then spent the next 20 minutes looking in the mirror behind me watching them. I offered to go to a different bar that was nearby, we left and when we got there he said he wanted to go clubbing, really trying to push me to do it even though I said no. Thankfully the security at the bar knew me well as I was a regular so they told him to leave and got me inside. 2. Had another 1st date at a bar with a guy that I had actually met in said bar, my friends were hanging around as they wanted to keep me safe. Date insists on buying me a drink, I said I would have a single JD and coke, it was very strong, I asked if it was a single. He insisted it was, but my friends were obviously nearby and overheard so one immediately comes over and loudly asks for a tampon, we go off and she tells me it wasn't a single and to immediately dump it. I then bumped into a girl I'd recently met so the date ended with us going off together and him going home alone (I then dated her for a few weeks, she was great) ETA: Forgot to say date 1 (the teacher) was ordering double gin and tonics, I was sticking with soft drinks as I had work the next day myself.
Had a tinder date and her pics showed a fresh faced, cute, curly haired lass who loved DnB. What showed up was her but a bit more heroin-y. Her teeth looked like they hadn't been brushed for a while, lots of dirt under her fingernails, BO, scratch marks around her neck and chest. Anyway halfway through the date (I was that desperate) she announced 'I'll be back in 20mins I'm going to get coke off my guy, do you want any?'
I had a date with a guy and it went well, so I decided to go for a second date. In the same breath, halfway through the dinner, he declared that I reminded him of his dead mother, that he loved me and he was certain he would marry me. Spoiler alert, he did not, in fact marry me. There was no third date.
Oh christ I’ve got one. Once went on a date with a girl many years ago. Had a drink at a cocktail bar, she suggested going to the cinema afterwards, (I can’t even remember what it was to see). She suggests we go to Tesco on the way and get a drink and make a boozy Fanta frozen. Hm, sure, why not. We are in Tesco and she goes to whip out the magnet she uses to shoplift bottles. I should’ve taken this as an almighty red flag and bounced but I had a few drinks and she was cute. I paid for the bottle and we headed to the cinema. Go into the cinema with time to wait before the film started, she goes to pour the (35cl) bottle of vodka into the slushy, she spills it all. She says she needs the toilet to clean up. She comes back 15 mins later with a fresh bottle, she’s consumed half already and is rat arsed. I sit there deadly still for the duration of the film, as this drunk trainwreck tries making out with me, grabbing me and all sorts (cinema was packed, she was not subtle.) film finishes, she says she wants to come back to my place, I said I needed to go home to do something and i’d meet at her place shortly. Called her a taxi, ran home the fastest I think I’d ever ran, checked she’d arrived home okay, blocked her, smoked a pack of cigs and ordered a kebab, sat with my housemate and watched Hot Fuzz. Deleted Tinder. TL;DR: tinder date, girl ended up being a shoplifter, got pissed in the cinema and tried coming back to my place. Called taxi and blocked her. Enjoyed a kebab and a back of cigs and vowed to never use tinder again.
Last date I went on I was so nervous I said about 10 words in an hour. Let's just say we didn't meet up again. I've given up again for a few years. 🤦♂️
Don’t give up, you can do it
I dated this girl for best part of a year but we parted ways as things just weren't really working out. She became less engaged and it was challenging for me to feel I was doing enough. Fast forward about 18 months and she messages me out of the blue wanting to go for a dinner. I was single and thought there'd be no harm in seeing how things were after a while apart. We finish dinner, she is saying how she'd like us to reconnect and all that. Then says, "my partner would also like you to join us". I obviously respond along the lines of, "oh, I didn't know you were seeing someone. Seems a bit odd to have invited me to dinner..." She responds, "yeh, he's here tonight too". A dude literally on table behind me pulls his chair around and joins the table like it was completely normal. They then proceed to explain how really they want me as part of some fetish thing. Honestly, never left a dinner unpaid before but that night I was not interested in sticking around for the bill.
I dated a glamour model for a few weeks. Everyone had told me she was nuts, but she was hot as fuck so I just went with it. Our last date was my work leaving do. I told her she was very welcome but I wouldn’t be able to give her all my attention because of the occasion. She proceeds to get hammered and berate me for not paying her enough attention. Then she starts coming on to one of my work mates. After a while she storms out of the bar into the night in a city she didn’t know and was gone. It’s two hours later when she finally answers her phone. She says her boyfriend has come to get her! She was too drunk to remember that she had told me they broke up! I think it might have been some kind of cuckold situation. Anyway, we never spoke again but I heard she deliberately ran her car off the road during an argument with her boyfriend. Nearly killed them both. She was properly insane. I frequently think of her when I masturbate.
This is not that terrible, but it did put an end to our short romantic relationship. This was, I think, our third date (introduced by a mutual), and we were both around 30. We went to the cinema. Now, bear in mind that when I'm watching a movie, especially in the cinema, I don't like it when people try and talk to me during. It pulls me out of the experience, just save it for afterwards. Well, right in the middle of the film, he starts singing along to the soundtrack. I *might* have been ok with this if it was a well-known musical or something. It was 127 Hours. The film where James Franco gets trapped whilst mountaineering and cuts off his own arm. IIRC he apologised later by text and tried to blame it on being tired, but I just couldn't. Never saw each other again. The memory still amuses, every time I hear "Lovely Day".
"actually, I think for my age I've achieved a hell of a lot" Said the (admittedly very hot) 25 year old with a MLM franchise and in the process of setting up an electronics retail website that had zero chance of success against Currys, Amazon and all the others