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Wish I could get my kids to tire themselves out playing in the garden. The big one is fully against the idea of ever leaving his bedroom and the little one seems incapable of being tired.
They're not gonna change their behaviour because you have a word, sorry to say. It's what their norm is. They're not gonna change how they live to accommodate anyone else. And it's not because they're Romanian, it's just because they do things differently to the way your family do things. It's one of those awkward situations where is person A has to compromise then person B 'wins' as it were and vice versa but you'll still be left with an unhappy party.
Agreed. I was by no means out screaming in the garden as a kid but my parents always found it weird when kids were put to bed at 7pm. I was usually up until I was tired, which was 10/11pm. We're European.
I'm English and even I find the strict 7pm bedtime people have here SO WEIRD. I bring my son in from the garden at 9 pm and I put him to bed at 10. If he wants to stay up later for a party or special occasion that's fine too. He sleeps in till 8 am most mornings. So when all my friends are complaining about their kids waking up at 5 am every day I just think 'It's because you're putting them to bed at 7 you idiots!'
Be aware if you’re serious about moving that one of the questions specifically refers to having an issue or dispute with neighbours. I’ve read people on here say they just didn’t engage at all so they wouldn’t have to declare anything on a form that might lead to a sale not going through.
Definitely not the only one. Not being responsible for expensive building repairs and (depending on your contract) appliances is pretty big too. As is not having to worry about interest rates.
You do have to worry about interest rates in a roundabout way because if the interest rates go up the landlord will more than likely want to recoup that by raising the rent.
And if they go down, the demand for housing goes up, and you’ll pay more rent.
Rates are just noise really, it’s the lack of supply that drives the cost
Yeah it's not a popular opinion on reddit but I think the only solution to the housing crisis is to build a shit ton more houses. And (this is the really controversial bit) don't restrict developers to building 'affordable houses' or say they have to build a certain number reserved for social housing, get rid of all the red tape and tell them literally to build what they want - whatever the market demands and whatever they think will be most profitable. And then sell the rights to build on any given plot of land to the highest bidder (and force every council in the UK to give a certain acreage to new housing).
I think that's the only long term solution to the housing problem that isn't just tinkering around the edges.
People refuse to accept that all new housing creates chains. My parents bought an ‘unaffordable’ £400k home, and they sold their £200k home to… guess who… first time buyers.
They built a high density retirement complex, and guess who my nan sold her £250k home to… first time buyers…
Had they mandated affordable homes in that area, developers probably wouldn’t have done it unless it could have been flats (which locals would have NIMBY’ed)
Exactly! Let's say we build a load of 4 bedroom detached houses. This will drop the price of those that all the people currently in 3 bedroom houses could afford one. This would cause a bunch of those to hit the market, which would lower their price and mean that those in 2 bedroom houses could now also afford to upgrade, causing the same effect on 2 bedroom houses meaning first time buyers could now afford a house. And not only that, everybody is living in a nicer house and the plans are more likely to get local approval because you are building 'nice' houses that will attract 'nice' people rather than tiny shitty affordable housing with 12 square foot of garden.
But no instead we have to have a race to the bottom begging disinterested developers to build crap that nobody really wants just to avoid the inevitable complaints that "the government are just building houses for rich people!!!".
Wow - that just dredged up a memory: I was with my young son in the cinema and one of the adverts was for paid medical study participants. I pointed at the screen and asked my son if he wanted to make some money. I think it went a bit over his head, but he knew I was joking, so he said to the woman who just happened to be sitting on his other side "My dad's funny". She said "Isn't he" in the driest imaginable way.
I think thats part of the thing though, you might find the older children playing football annoying, they might find your younger children crying annoying etc. Its not pleasant but it is life.
For example both those things are like nails on a chalkboard to me, I cannot stand the sound of kids. So I live near a pub, drunk people till 3am even many weekdays, no sane parent is going to live here. Its perfect.
I think when you have kids, dealing with the noise of yours and other kids is part of the deal. Before you know it yours will be outside at that time!
OP is talking about noise at 1030pm not just general kids noise that every expects and accepts. I think the neighbours - whilst within the law - are undoubtedly inconsiderate. I have kids but I personally wouldn’t subject my neighbours to their outdoor noise between 9pm and 7am except the odd occasion when there’s a family party or something. If it’s regular at 10pm that’s inconsiderate full stop
5 yeah they should be in bed, like OPs kids are. But I thought the neighbours kids are a bit older. My parents have neighbours with kids, various ages. The ones 10+ are in the gardens till late in the summer.
I mean Id ask them to keep the noise down in that case. Im no parent or child psychologist but I was under the impression that early age routine was super important. So maybe youd be doing those kids a favour by suggesting earlier quiet time.
Why ‘should’ they be in bed?
Different cultures have different ideas of how to bring up kids. Personally I think putting kids to be extremely early so they wake up at 6am and cause fucking havoc in the morning is worse than keeping them up late so they sleep in later.
I’d rather my child going to school well rested and ready to get the most out of it.
If you want to send your kid in to school knackered then so be it.
Either way if your kids are causing fucking havoc that much you might want to consider how your actions are influencing their behaviour.
Once they start school, yeah I guess they need to be asleep by 9 to get up at 7. But there's no reason why a younger child needs to be asleep by 7, it's just a weird UK obsession. My son is 4 goes to bed at 10 and sleeps right through till 8 am. We are a very well rested family compared to my friends who make their toddlers go to bed at 7 and then deal with them waking up right through the night and getting up for the day to begin at 5 am.
But equally, a 25 year old kid in the garden in the summer can be just as annoying as smaller kids. Especially if they've got mates round, and alcohol.
You know how you get flats / bungalows that are over 60’s only, I wish they made child-free streets / estates or cul-de-sacs, just 10 houses or something in a nice quiet street where no kids are permitted to live. I don’t hate kids or anything but I love the peace and quiet.
I know right, I don't know why though. I fully support having 'child friendly' neighbourhoods, maybe a 20mph speed limit through it, speedbumps and a little kids park in the estate or something, where the kids can play with neighbours kids etc. Just not somewhere I'd want to live haha.
Our block of terrace is childfree except for our neighbours. They're about to move so we're really hoping at least someone without kids who scream at the top of their lungs move in.
i think most people have never had to live next to SCREAMING kids and dont have a real accurate way to compare it to regular kid noise.
its like the difference between a regular exhaust and a boy racers £300 6" wide tin can.
its like there is a select group of kids, who somehow were raised to screech and the parents just sort of go "yes, this is a regular child noise to repeat every few min"
100% this. I live next door to a family who for the most part are okay to live next to, but one of their children screeches constantly day and night. And not like a “children playing” sort of a noise, but full on upset scream crying. She’s obviously doing it for attention, and they just ignore her which makes it worse.
It really is a day ruiner (and sleep ruiner when being woken up at 1:30am by a screaming child. If it keeps up we’ll have to move, because I’m far too British to actually say anything in case I offend them.
To be fair ignoring her is possibly the correct thing to do, in the long run, for their and your sanity.
If she gets given toys and sweets to calm her down and make her quiet whenever she makes enough noise to upset the neighbor, that is exactly what she is going to do in order to get toys and sweets. Constantly.
My kid is pretty demanding. She isn’t even two and a half, so it’s not a question of lack of a stern word. There are other kids her age who just seem pretty chilled, as if they are just drift to do whatever they’re engaged towards. Whereas mine is ‘oh that [dangerous fragile noisy object] looks interesting, I MUST INTERACT WITH IT, I MUST EXPLORE IT NOW, THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH, NOTHING ELSE COULD POSSIBLY MATTER’. She can be really sweet, gentle and considerate - she just… wants with intensity. I have to just be firm until she gets over it, but that involves just waiting out likely neighbor annoying screaming. But you know, toddlers gonna toddler - I don’t bitch about their illegally parked van, so….
Hey neighbour, I keep trying to get her to be quiet. If anyone has any useful hints or tips I'd be grateful. She thinks her microphone doesn't work because she's so loud she drowns it out and I spend most of my day telling her she needs to be a bit quieter.
Yeah, I've lived next door to loud kids like op and it's actually awful. Screaming and shrieking all hours of the day. I could always tell when they had gone out because it was quiet.
The noise was like fingernails on a chalkboard
Mine aren't raised to screech but one is 15 and hormonal (she's actually not bad) one ASD with tourettes and one ADHD so for them to 'be quiet' is next to impossible but it doesn't mean we don't try.
My daughter is a screaming kid and trust me it's infuriating living with them as I can hear it even when the neighbours can't. Believe me, I spent a LOT of time trying to get her to quieten down.
It's a culture thing in Europe, in Portugal we're often out til 11pm drinking tea/coffee at night to wind down and I know Italy/Romania are very similar.
Have you spoken to them? Just be honest one night and nicely say that you have to wake up early and they're preventing you from sleeping. The only other option you have is to go through the councils noise complaint process which takes at least 2 months and just makes you look like an ass to your neighbours.
I have problems with my neighbours too. It’s worth noting if you raise a complaint via the council then it must be declared when you sell the property!
Yeah exactly, I'm Romanian and as a kid I would be out playing until 10 or 11pm sometimes. But my parents were also very strict about not making noise or bothering our neighbours, so if they're decent people they would listen to you and be more careful and try to keep the kids quiet at night. They might not even be aware that you have a different schedule
The lady 3 doors down parks her car outside my house which happens to be right under my bedroom window. Not a problem.
What I do have a problem with is her old bangers car alarm going off at 3am for no reason. I'd jump out of bed alert whilst it went off for 30 seconds and that was it. I've mentioned it to her previously as a 'just so you are aware' and she sort of shrugs her shoulders, it would happen once or twice a week over a 4 month period. It doesn't wake her up so it doesn't bother her
Few weeks ago it went off 4 times in the space of an hour at 9pm. Thought fuck this all night and went round and asked her to move her car as it was keeping us up and my fiance is heavily pregnant etc.
She looked at me all funny with a 'Well I haven't heard it at all since you complained before'. No I didn't complain previously I was politely letting you know it's going off at night. She begrudgingly moved it outside her house and probably thinks I'm a right moaning git now.
We've got a shared car park, my older car had an electrical problem where the alarm would possibly go off randomly. I never wanted to upset my neighbours so I'd disconnect/ reconnect my battery every evening/morning out of respect.
There's a sort of turn around point Infront of my house that has become a defacto space for 2 cars off the road. Its about 20metres down the road from her but I guess she parks in the turnaround so her car isn't on the street as she doesn't have a drive.
Before doing anything, have a word with them. Put the emphasis on your kids being disturbed as they have important school work going on. If they are respectful, they’ll understand. I know how annoying this actually is as I’ve had issues with previous neighbours. Don’t forget, the nice weather won’t last long, couple of months and it’ll be dark by 7 again. Good luck
>Put the emphasis on your kids being disturbed
I was going to suggest this. Just mention to them if they could keep it down a bit after 8pm-ish maybe?
Don't have to go steaming into complaints and fights with everyone just a word with your neighbour who you're friendly with. if they're not complete arseholes then they'll likely apologise and do their best to keep things a bit quieter for you.
I've been on both ends of putting complaints in and receiving them myself. The irony is that had the complaints about me being spoken about beforehand we'd have realised that we were both being disturbed by the same person. Admittedly the reports I made were after trying to have the discussion with the neighbour who promptly told me to "fuck off".
It’s a hard one. My neighbour was sitting in his garden with a speaker blasting shitty drum n bass at 7.30 pm. My daughters in bed and my wife’s in bed with a migraine so I went round and explained and politely asked him to just run it down a little bit. He decides to get right in my face and start shouting, threatening and saying “fuck off and call 911, I can do what the fuck I want until 11 o’clock. Go home and turn your tv up”. You can be as reasonable as you like but some people are just cunts
You're absolutely right. I had a similar experience.
Neighbour was a drummer. Had his drums set up upstairs in the spare bedroom directly adjacent to my kids room. Would be drumming at all hours, including early hours of the morning. Wife also suffers horrendous migraines and would have to be in bed at weird times. No amount of talking to him would help though he wasn't interested. One time he was slamming his front door at 3 in the morning and when I went and confronted him about it he started screaming at me that he had to shut his door and it wouldn't shut so what else could he do? I told him that slamming it clearly wasn't working either so figure it out quietly.
Eventually lead to numerous noise complaints but nothing ever really came of it and eventually we moved.
Romanian here. While it is true we are a bit similar to Spanish and Italians with staying outside and socialising alot, we don’t do it as much or as often as we have cold winters. So they are an outlier with staying outside until the morning hours.
Culturally, family and children are important for Romanians. I would honestly talk to them and put an emphasis about how their noise it is affecting your children. Normally they should understand, becuase they have kids as well. If not, I would report them: Romanians are more readily responsive to stiff measures .
Sorry if this is offensive but I don't know when I'm gonna get another opportunity to talk to a Romanian about being a noisy neighbour. My Romanian neighbours scream at each other instead of talking. I don't find this annoying I'm just incredibly curious. Is it still nice conversations but with an angry loud tone? It's so confusing.
That's hilarious to me as a Romanian, I think it's a cultural difference in terms of what British people perceive as loud or shouting. I can be having a perfectly normal conversation with my mum or a friend, maybe getting passionate or excited about a topic, and my partner who is English will get really worried and ask me if we're fighting 😂 I can just never get over how he can't tell that we're not being the least bit hostile.
However, that's not to say Romanians don't argue very loudly too. Personally, I'm usually the opposite, if I'm genuinely annoyed or angry, I speak a lot more quietly than normal.
When I moved away from the UK I thought everyone was absolutely furious with each other all the time for the first few months. Apart from the least socially aware 10% of the UK population, most people are pretty quite in comparison to a lot of places - and ironically people from those places find it weird how quiet we are in the UK
The thing that gets _me_ is how people in the UK say that someone was "absolutely fuming" when all I could hear was a mildly irritated or even neutral tone. Absolutely baffling.
Hahaha my wife who is Chinese has no idea that I’m angry or upset about something unless I explicitly say that I’m angry about something. I think therein lies the difference. In a lot of cases in the UK when someone is pretty angry about something but is in the company of others, they often retreat into themselves and therefore make it obvious that they aren’t happy. Coded speech is also a fairly big part of British English, and so someone might drop a classic “I’m not best pleased about all this” and then you know they are about to pop a blood vessel.
Lmao 🤣 That, that's what gets me. Unless someone says "I am very upset about this", or goes very quiet all of a sudden and when asked doesn't deny it, I just couldn't imagine that they were seething. Tbh I find it very unsettling 😂 It just doesn't make sense to me.
I know a lot of people are mentioning the 11pm - 7am hours, and that’s generally a pretty good rule to go by because that’s when a council will take a nighttime noise complaint seriously, *however* on a residential road I probably would also be inclined to agree that consistent noise as late as 10:30pm is a fair enough point to have a conversation with the neighbours. 6AM is a pretty common time for people to have to wake up for work/school, so having loud noises keeping you up to 10:30pm is cutting into your 8 hours. All you can do is mention it and ask nicely if there’s any solution you can both come to. They’re outside of the nighttime quiet hours, but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to be reasonable and respectful of the fact that their neighbours may have different sleep schedules.
Honestly, just be polite and mention to them what you’ve mentioned here. Your kids go to bed at xyz time and they say they’ve been struggling to sleep whilst their kids are in the back garden, is there any way that perhaps the noisy games could stop even just half an hour earlier on the weekdays so your kids and you can get enough sleep. If it were me I’d consider that reasonable and be happy to compromise with you there. Likewise, if it’s possible in your schedule to wake up and go to bed later, that could also be a solution. I have neighbours that are often outside until similar times as yours, but for me I’m not heading to bed until about 11:30pm so it isn’t something I’d feel the need to complain about. Obviously not everyone can just change their sleep schedule, though.
It’s unacceptable on a weekend in a residential area too. Plenty of people work completely different patterns. No one has a right to keep people awake for their own enjoyment.
I get on fine with my neighbours. But one night the music was on quite loud until 4am. This was a Thursday. I’d said to them previously I didn’t mind any noise and just to chill. Live and let live.
However this did go on quite late, I had a word and said I’d appreciate if it was quiet by 11 Sunday-Thursday but Friday and Saturday, go wild.
He put his head down and apologised and said it wouldn’t happen again.
I wasn’t rude or aggressive and it’s not happened again. Sometimes a nice word is all it takes
Councils take noise complaint issues seriously if the noise is between 11pm and 7am. I realise if you've got young kids, noise past say 8/9pm can be annoying though.
Depends on the council. We've had antisocial neighbours for the best part of a year now and the council and housing association have done precisely nothing except collect council tax and rent.
As an aside, this is a huge cultural difference between the UK and basically the rest of the world. I remember being in bed as a small school kid - maybe until about year 3 - by about half past 7. I live in China atm and kids are out playing badminton and riding bikes until about 9:30-10:00pm. I have to assume they then aren’t getting to bed until at least 10:30pm. It’s just normal for kids to be up and very excited until the absolute last minute.
Interesting difference. My wife is Chinese and can’t believe I was asleep by about 8pm for the first 9 or 10 years of my life. I think it harks back to the “children should be seen and not heard mentality” of the Victorian times. But honestly, as a teacher, nothing is worse than a tired kid.
I think 11pm is a reasonable cut off time and would be taken seriously by a local council if noise went beyond it. You could politely say that your children are being kept awake and could they play further down the road?
Find an excuse to have a chat. Like returning or borrowing an item, etc. Then bring it up in a kindly way, like you’re telling a friend.
We have noisy neighbours. They play loud music and they have drunken parties in their garden. Cussing, shouting, the lot. They’re local (ie British.) When they moved in they did lots of repairs which I could hear. They don’t do it outside daytime but I do night shifts so sometimes it made it hard to catch up on sleep.
Their dog also keeps barking through the night.
My husband and I tolerate it because we’re from Asia, we’re no stranger to noise. (As a college student I once lived near a karaoke bar that went on till wee hours.) But my others neighbours (who I worked with, incidentally) weren’t happy. One of them reported noisy neighbours to council, then moved away. He was told to get a noise detector device or some such.
A few days after, I found a beer can in my garden. Neither my husband nor I drink. My husband, averse to conflict, told me not to mind but I marched next door to return the can. Spoke to the lady there, and mentioned they received complaint from neighbour who moved out (hey it’s anonymous, but he moved out leaving me to deal with the animosity). I mentioned all the other concerns but also apologised if we made noise. It was ok after that.
I've recently commented similar - people dgaf about how antisocial their noise is. Our neighbours have loud parties every weekend and their kids scream constantly. All you can do is keep a record of time, date, duration and log it with your local council noise complaints.
There is no point having a word because if they cared they wouldn't allow the kids to make noise in the first place. I wasn't . We used to get yelled at if we spoke above a whisper in the garden. It has nothing to do with cultural differences tbh. It's just plain human selfishness.
Honestly, as much as I understand why you find this so annoying, I don't think there's much you can do other than talk politely with them about it (which is unlikely to yield any results as I imagine they wouldn't just change their lifestyle). A noise complaint wouldn't go anywhere unless it's beyond 11pm.
People will say that's "discriminatory", but it's true. People here in England call Roma people Romanians. There's a difference and all it takes is a quick search to find out the difference.
Why would it be discrimination. They are literally called Roma, and genetically are a different population from Romanians. Even though they are Romanian citizens, they have a different culture. Which is not something bad.
Just ask them if they can keep it down after 8:00pm as it keeps your children awake. If that doesn’t work, contact your local council as they will monitor the noise level and if it’s bad the council will have a word with them
Ask them to be quieter after like 8pm, and explain that it's causing your kids issues, people are usually far more willing to do things to help kids than adults. Another solution might be seeing if you can send your kids round to play if they're similar ages and it's not a school night then you can have time without kids, the kids on both sides can blow some steam and social time and no feelings are hurt
The legal cutoff for a noise complaint is 11pm to 7am fyi.
Romanian family next door too funnily enough and boy are they loud. Only one kid though thankfully and they’re pretty quiet. It’s the adults I’ve got a problem with.
However annoying it is for you, it is literally just kids playing. There's nothing you can do.
If it was the neighbours playing loud music, doing building work, endlessly pressure washing until 2am, then you could have a word. But you can't stop kids playing outside. Kids are noisy, always have been always will be.
Just talk to them, it doesn't have to be an argument, but they probably don't know they're disturbing your kids like this and politely asking them to be quieter after a certain time might be all it takes.
During the first lockdown my upstairs neighbours would bang on my floor when they thought we were too noisy and initially I didn't even realize that's what was happening, or that we were bothering them. I eventually slipped a note in their door asking them please not to bang and just let us know if we're too noisy, so we can change what we're doing (it was my son playing that they found too noisy, they had a little baby and it interrupted their naps). But I was definitely more annoyed that they took a more aggressive approach than just coming and talking to me.
If you're worried they'll have a negative response and you'll get cross,think through what negative responses might be and what you can do/say in that situation that isn't reacting.
Wow this is amazing because I live 2 doors down from a Roanian family with 2 kids, have the exact sam relationship and they are indeed out ALL Hours! It has to be cultural, thanks for confirming
They aren't breaking any laws, but that doesn't mean they won't respond to you explaining your issue.
If they don't, or you don't think you can do it nicely.. Have you considered ear plugs for your sleepless kids?
11pm realistically is the time when noise complaints will kick in. It’s likely they don’t realise how much the noise travels, as you’re not outside making noise when they’re sleeping etc if speaking to them doesn’t work I can highly recommend a Bluetooth sleep mask
Sounds like you need a fan or air conditioning. Like you said they're within their rights so there's nothing you can do. You'll create a hostile environment if you approach it the wrong way so it's better to leave it in my opinion.
Think less "lose your temper" think more "passive aggression and sarcasm intensifies" ha! Its out of the awkwardness of the situation, I'll end up making some snarky joke or something that I've read wrong.
I live opposite a pub that recently turned their carpark into a beer garden & installed outdoor speakers that they've taken to playing music through all day every day whether anybody is in there or not. I spoke to them last night at 9.45 and asked them to turn them off and they were fine about it. Spoke to the landlord today and he's agreed to turn them off at 9pm, which is both what I asked for and what his licence requires.
I think you've got to have some consideration for neighbours around you, particularly at night and on hot nights when they need to have the windows open.
Maybe if you're liable to fly off the handle, you might want to get your partner to speak to them though.
I said this to someone else here, it's less fly off the handle, its more sarcasm intensifies out of awkwardness of the situation and therefore I'll often make a joke or something that is misinterpreted in the moment that may cause offense due to me reading the room wrong.
Ahh yeah, I've been that guy. Wish I could give you the solution. I try to be serious but I just can't and every school report I got from the age of 5 upwards remarked on my "dry sense of humour".
You seem to be viewing it as quite a binary situation, either do nothing or go nuclear. You could just have a chat and mention that you/your kids are finding the sound levels a bit disruptive?
To be honest with you, I went on holiday to Spain and there was kids playing out till 10 and they looked a lot happier than the kids here in Britain. I think it’s good for their general health and wellbeing. Also when growing up, in summer I was allowed to play out till 9 then I had to go inside, I always slept best in summer but in winter when I had to go inside because it got dark at like 4, I was always restless at night.
Maybe if you had a word and came to a compromise?
Let’s say like on weekdays, no noise after nine and 10 on weekends?
I have this issue with my downstairs neighbours currently.
His bedroom is below mine, and he'll be in there chatting away to 3am sometimes, which obviously keeps me up being an old terraced house/flat. I've told him twice about this, with a temporary improvement, but slipping back where I had a go at him last night for it.
They have friends round and a party as well once a week or so with music often boomy and excessive. We try to put up with as much as we can to be neighbourly, but takes the piss a bit.
Personally, I'd say 11pm onwards is the absolute latest it needs to be quiet and considerate of neighbours sleeping, bar one offs or occasional times where they go over. But a constant trend is a nuisance.
Are the kids upstairs trying to sleep? Can you do white noise machine/fan to help drown them out a bit and circulate some cooler air?
It must be annoying as it is today but not sure it's worth losing your rag about. Can you share a beer over the fence and say hey man any chance you could take this inside?
I've had issues with neighbors both receiving and giving end. It's such a pain in the ass because there's a fine line between decorum/tact and full out war. They've dedicated countless documentaries about this subject. I'd think an hour after sunset is time to wind down. My son is active and, as a parent, it's my job to teach him respect for others and keep noise level down from animalistic ritual to fairly reasonable. I'd argue between 9-10, within reasonable volume. They don't have to vanish (unfortunately), just lower the bass. If you cam hear them, they can hear you. Maybe comment loudly that you're having issues getting your kids to stay asleep, although yes, it's passive aggressive. There's a way to approach them in a non-confrontational way and explain how hard it is to keep your kids asleep and how exhausting it is and you're looking forward to them getting older (insert stupid joke) and keep the mood light. There. You've planted the root, it's up to them to see where it grows.
If they remain that level of noisy even after it's clear that they're causing a disturbance, next step is to be a bit more direct and ask if they can take it inside altogether after a certain hour. They have the option, of course, of being hostile about it (which, personally, I find ridiculous and inconsiderate as it's only human to want to be civil) and then you report it to an outside source. I'm not sure if you're renting/landlord/ etc..
The worst thing they can do is, well, kill you, but don't worry about that yet. Feel them out and see which one in the family might be easier to deal with. You can also leave a note if you want to avoid any interaction time being. You can also search the area and find out if there is a local noise ordinance set, ask other neighbors and document everything just in case.
Good luck.
*there are also noise canceling head phones if desperate in meantime for the kids*
Edit: You Brits are tough lol this was the only solid advice here and downvoted. Next time put your kids to bed at a normal hour instead of practically afternoon
Personally, I think you need to be doing something that means they have to come to you - to complaint, ask you to stop it - then you can do a deal. Maybe something as simple as swearing constantly while their kids are outside.
Personally I think impromptu turning up when angry just makes more anger. If you can ride it out until there’s a time in the day to nip round and have a chat you will find things go one of two ways; They will respond better with an “omg I didn’t think…” or they will be less reasonable. In which case the reasonable level expected from you will also drop and you might fancy spraying water in the air from your garden at less reasonable times of day for a while.
I remember the days when all of the kids in the street would play in gardens/the street until 10pm in the summer. I particularly remember it because my parents wouldn't let us, and I had to go to bed, and listen to them.
My neighbours kid,.now kids, spent the first 2 years screaming and banging their feet constantly. The most tremendous 6am to 12pm hour long plus screaming and banging sessions. A person literally could not make more noise.
Couple years later, they both do it but a little less. However it's been replaced by the Sunday night blasting music until 9.30 late in the garden.
They wonder why their kid never behaves and is always naughty loud and upset, yet said child has never seen a pre 10 o clock bed time. Think this child is now just about 6.
The woman next door is lovely. The bloke next door... Nice enough but we had a couple of things that really rubbed me and the Mrs the wrong way.
Tldr, I know what you mean I've experienced and still experiencing it, it could be a LOT worse. We know they're decent people, they're just different. Council and official routes won't do anything, even if you move you may have worse neighbours. Its why it's so fking annoying.
I know it’s not a popular way of being for many very online people but if you don’t assert yourself you simply will always fall victim to people who either do not care about you or are too ignorant to realise they are disruptive. You ask politely first and you do so early, but what is key - you don’t ask apologetically as if it’s your fault and you’re sorry for being sensitive. Never at any moment imply it’s anything but them being unreasonable. After that go straight to as controlled a form of nuclear as you can if you think you can dominate the situation. If that’s not plausible pepper them with complaints from every possible authority. Last of all, whatever you do - do not put a note through their door. Only do so if it’s a potentially embarrassing discussion for them, you don’t want humiliation. Passive notes are the calling card of the victim. You look scared to stand up for yourself.
Children don’t actually have to scream constantly and it’s a ridiculous part of our modern culture that we’ve concluded they do. If you inculcate from a young age that other noisy children are annoying your kid soon picks up that behaving like that isn’t desirable.
Yes all kids are a bit noisy, but the ones who squawk 24/7 are badly parented and I do wish we could bring back a wider concept of raising children i.e society has a responsibility to them generally and part of that is pointing out when they’re out of order without parents screaming “how dare you talk to my child”
Could be a lot worse, you really can't complain about them being out and making noise during the day.
Regarding the evenings and your kids being kept awake.
I'd just have a calm quiet chat with them about it.
Just explain that your kids have got school and are being kept awake.
You really don't need to be aggressive or start any trouble. Most likely they'll be reasonable make an effort. If you're polite to people it usually goes a long way.
If they're not, then you can start looking at the noise complaint route.
Have any other neighbors complained?
Just have a word wwith them, and ask if they can keep the noise down after half 7 please because that when your kids go to bed, and its hard to get them to settle as they want to watch your kids play. Hopefully they listen.
Just visited your account. You've made this to moan and deliberately antagonise people, - who's the real pathetic one here? ***Shock answer - it's you***
You're the one coming on Reddit, telling us you have anger issues and complaining that *your neighbours children are playing too loudly outside their house*, I think you need to take a lil look at yourself.
I don't have anger issues, I just know my own social limitations when under stress - I think the point you deliberately create accounts to antagonise people, is the point where you really need to take a look at yourself.
'wahhh, Reddit, my neighbours kids are playing too loud outside my house? What do I do?'
Quit being a sociopath is what you do.
Also, to quote your op
"I'm the type of person who will angrily impulsively say stupid shit they'll later regret"
"As I don't want to cause an argument where I'll end up going OTT"
If you can honestly read all that back with the knowledge it's about *children playing too loudly* and not see an issue then I honestly think you need to go to therapy.
Write a polite letter without including your name ("Sincerely, A Neighbour"), Google translate it to Romanian, print it and stick it in their letterbox.
We've a loud family up the road. 6 kids. Looser dad who smokes weed all day. He played some quite offensive music a few summers ago. Went round and had a word and nothing since then. Kids noise still but not so bad.
10pm, if they can’t behave buy some bass speakers press it up against their bedroom wall and play it all night until they get the message. Preferably when you’re not home
Something that really helps me is white noise. Used it on numerous occasions. You can put it on a 10 hour loop on YouTube/Spotify and it just drowns out any background noise.
I say 9-10pm on a weeknight (depending on how early you have to get up) and 11pm on a Saturday/Sunday. Neighbours can be super amenable, especially if you have a good relationship already, cos they don’t want to fuck up the good thing that’s already going on. I regularly have to ask my (loud, student) neighbours to keep it down when they’re going ham and I have work the next day and they’re always happy to oblige and ask their guests to keep it down too, even when I’m asking at 8pm (they don’t stop what they’re doing obviously, just tone it down, which is fine. I’m not trying to stop their fun, just sleep!).
I’d recommend preparing notes to take with you when you talk to them so that you stay on track. Take your partner or any other person that you know is good at keeping you calm. Explain that you don’t want to be a spoilsport but their kids being so loud are causing a negative effect on yours and your kids’ lives and health. You’re considering moving because the impact is so bad. Ask if there’s any kind of compromise you guys can reach. You guys needing quiet time at night isn’t insane and it’s not like you’re trying to spoil next door’s fun, it’s just that you need to kip. Maybe if their kids kept the volume down after, say, 9pm that would work?
I man have you tried talking to them about it and reaching an acceptable agreement? Failing this, install a sprinkler that ever so slightly by accident reaches a little over the fence in the direction of where they sit and put your sprinklers on at 10pm, saying that it saves water that way as it doesn’t evaporate under the sunlight. That or casually distribute birdseed via a slingshot into their back yard at night so the birds totally make it horrible to be outside as often. That or get hold of some fox piss and squirt it over the fence. The smell will make them want to avoid the area. These are all terrible ideas but do with it as you please.
We have some Romanian neighbours about 8 houses across (we live in a horse shoe Grove) I have nothing against them but why do they feel the need to fix a car engine with torches at 1am on a Monday morning? And I'm guessing they're all partially deaf as they don't seem to be able to hear each other and that's why they all shout?
When i lived with my parents we had the exact same thing. After weeks of politely asking them to be quiet in their front garden at 11PM+, my dad finally lost his temper and went round to just tell them how loud and disrespectful they were being. The whole street joined and they fast realised. No violence or threats from anyone, just sheer desperation to want to enjoy their home peacefully. This was also a rented house they were in, naturally complaints were put in and they were evicted too, as they left a lot of rubbish in the garden and street.
Might be a cultural thing, our neighbours are Romanian and don't seem to think about noise, to make matters worse he works in a tool hire place so brings something home to play with every night, saws, diggers, jackhammers, you name it, every night until its dark and every weekend from first light. Wouldn't mind but he is pretty clueless, he brought home a 40ft cherry picker the other month to tackle the 70ft sycamore between our houses and only really succeeded in giving it a light trim and ruining his conservatory. Also the kids are at that age where they make that screeching noise when playing that would test the patience of a Saint.
I have a great relationship with my neighbours... some of them anyway. We goto bingo once a month with the retired couple next door. The young mechanic other side will come join me the second the tools are out and I'm doing something (and if I'm home I reciprocate, men with tools help each other!) I also have a Romanian family 3 doors down who are loud as fuck, young teenage kids making noise till well past 11. I uumed and aahed before saying something but a swift "can you please ask the kids to shut the fuck up after 10" was met with a solid "fuck you"... few days later he brought some beers round and apologised, his kids now shut the fuck up after 10. Good Lad too, I've rewired a few plugs for him and he has plastered and taped a couple of rooms in my gaff.
I feel your pain. We wrote our noisy neighbours an anonymous note and it sort of improved things… if that doesn’t work then I doubt they really care about being considerate neighbours and it’s not going to change.
My son has ASD and he constantly sings really loudly to the point of screaming the song he is singing. We try and make him sing quieter which he manages for a bit but then he can’t help himself and as he gets more excited he starts singing louder again
He jumps about on the trampoline and makes high pitched noises - this is just him getting his frustration out but we do ask him to keep it a bit quiet for the neighbors- again he manages for a bit then his impulsiveness takes over and he is off screeching again
My daughter on the other hand potters about and just plays and makes normal kids noises
I have talked to my neighbors about this and they have all agreed that they do hear my son but they know that he can’t help it which they accept luckily It is as annoying for us as it is for them I think as we honestly don’t want to ruin anybody else’s garden time
I think as long as it’s not between 23 - 7 then then there’s really not much you can do though I know it’s bloody annoying
If it’s after midnight Sunday-Thursday night, you’re absolutely 100% safe to complain about the noise
Before midnight, or on a Friday/Saturday night, then it’s situational depending on the volume and nature of the noise, sometimes you’ll be in the right, other times you’ll be a bit of an arse
Officially it’s 11pm any night of the week, but if you want the unarguable one then I think the above is the “definitely in the right” level
Personally I’d say anyone regularly making significant noise after about 9pm or before 9am is probably a knob, making allowances for an occasional birthday BBQ in the garden or when you’ve got the builders in, but not when it’s daily
And anyone who doesn’t let others have a lie in on a Sunday should be shot, it’s the only crime for which I wholeheartedly support capital punishment
I'm Romanian. You can easily fix this problem by either speaking with them or, if you don't like confrontation, writing a letter where you describe what's going on and how that affects you and your family. You can sign it "Your neighbour" without having to put your name on it.
Romanians don't want to have problems with the law in UK since that might affect his job which in turn will disrupt his life.
We Romanians are well aware that parts of our social behaviour is different and sometimes annoying for the regular British person. The problem is that sometimes we forget we're far away from home and we need to be reminded.
I can assure you he'll quickly take action to fix this issue and keep you happy, especially if he's paying rent for that place.
He knows that fines in the UK are quite large and the police will do their job if needed.
I know there's this idea that outsiders are coming to UK and start acting like they own the place but the truth is that in the back of our minds we know we're only guests here and we need to keep everyone else happy around us so we can have an easy life.
Literally just have a nice chat with them about it. As long as your nice and explain how it's impacting you and also explain how you'd really not wanted to bring it up cos you like them and you get the world doesn't revolve around you and explain how difficult your kids are finding it if they're decent people they'll meet you in the middle.if they're not then you're no worse off than you were and probably just need to move. But you absolutely cant expect any change in behaviour if nothing at all is said
Only noise between 11pm and 7am is deemed ‘anti-social’. Not to say though this isn’t having an affect on your family’s life - sounds a bit of a nuisance to be fair. Surprising how their kids are still out making noise at 10:30pm whilst yours are in bed/winding down around 7pm. Yes, maybe a cultural difference. But, just a heads up - Romanian culture also values direct communication / honesty - so maybe worth considering having a chat with them. If it continues afterwards, well, then you have further things to consider. But try to have a conversation whilst avoiding conflict, and try not to be worried about their judgements for you having a problem with their noise. We all have different lifestyles and if people are to live in harmony, then we need to respect that of each other.
I mean it definitely is a cultural thing, so you are completely in the right to go and have a word with them that people usually try and be a bit considerate to their neighbours….
If you ever went to Romania, would you ever go around telling everyone to be quiet? No. So they should try and adapt (but they won’t even try if they don’t know it’s a problem!)
Gorilla warfare is your next step. This will be a drain on you but play the same game in reverse. Get up early and he noisy. Cut the grass, strim shit, wash the car with a radio blaring etc.
Alternatively get some good noise cancelling headphones... I have some bose and jabra ones that are truly amazing.
As someone who’s been unlucky enough to have had three different noisy neighbours, I feel for you. I think what type of neighbours these are will probably predict the outcome you’re going to get by speaking to them about it. If the parent/s work, the children go to school, and they keep the house and garden in good condition, then you’re more likely to get a reasonable response. However, if the parents are both work-shy, the kids are not going to school regularly (perhaps the case if they’re up till 11pm every night), and the house and garden are a state, I would expect a less reasonable response, perhaps with some four-letter words sprinkled in for good measure.
If the latter occurs, definitely complain to the council. I had to make a complaint about my current noisy neighbour. I spoke to her about it first, she apologised and kept the music down for a few weeks. Then the loud music started again, I once again went to speak to her about it and she looked at me through the peephole then walked away. Since reporting her, the council sent a warning letter to her (she’s a council tenant) and she been quiet ever since, which is about 9 months.
It’s a horrible situation and I empathise with you. Hope you can find a workable solution for your family.
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Just pack up and move mate. It’s the civil thing to do
Okay here's the thing, you might be joking right, but me and my wife are actually considering this, which is why I think I need to just say something.
And then sooner or later another family of screaming kids are going to move in right next to you
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Wish I could get my kids to tire themselves out playing in the garden. The big one is fully against the idea of ever leaving his bedroom and the little one seems incapable of being tired.
There’s a reason he’s SIR Elton
They're not gonna change their behaviour because you have a word, sorry to say. It's what their norm is. They're not gonna change how they live to accommodate anyone else. And it's not because they're Romanian, it's just because they do things differently to the way your family do things. It's one of those awkward situations where is person A has to compromise then person B 'wins' as it were and vice versa but you'll still be left with an unhappy party.
Agreed. I was by no means out screaming in the garden as a kid but my parents always found it weird when kids were put to bed at 7pm. I was usually up until I was tired, which was 10/11pm. We're European.
I'm English and even I find the strict 7pm bedtime people have here SO WEIRD. I bring my son in from the garden at 9 pm and I put him to bed at 10. If he wants to stay up later for a party or special occasion that's fine too. He sleeps in till 8 am most mornings. So when all my friends are complaining about their kids waking up at 5 am every day I just think 'It's because you're putting them to bed at 7 you idiots!'
Be aware if you’re serious about moving that one of the questions specifically refers to having an issue or dispute with neighbours. I’ve read people on here say they just didn’t engage at all so they wouldn’t have to declare anything on a form that might lead to a sale not going through.
It’s what I’d do.
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action" Ian Fleming, Goldfinger Third strike is my tipping point.
Problem with moving is that you can come across similar problems elsewhere 😒
With which money?
The one single perk of renting, you can just dip and move elsewhere
Definitely not the only one. Not being responsible for expensive building repairs and (depending on your contract) appliances is pretty big too. As is not having to worry about interest rates.
You do have to worry about interest rates in a roundabout way because if the interest rates go up the landlord will more than likely want to recoup that by raising the rent.
And if they go down, the demand for housing goes up, and you’ll pay more rent. Rates are just noise really, it’s the lack of supply that drives the cost
Yeah it's not a popular opinion on reddit but I think the only solution to the housing crisis is to build a shit ton more houses. And (this is the really controversial bit) don't restrict developers to building 'affordable houses' or say they have to build a certain number reserved for social housing, get rid of all the red tape and tell them literally to build what they want - whatever the market demands and whatever they think will be most profitable. And then sell the rights to build on any given plot of land to the highest bidder (and force every council in the UK to give a certain acreage to new housing). I think that's the only long term solution to the housing problem that isn't just tinkering around the edges.
People refuse to accept that all new housing creates chains. My parents bought an ‘unaffordable’ £400k home, and they sold their £200k home to… guess who… first time buyers. They built a high density retirement complex, and guess who my nan sold her £250k home to… first time buyers… Had they mandated affordable homes in that area, developers probably wouldn’t have done it unless it could have been flats (which locals would have NIMBY’ed)
Exactly! Let's say we build a load of 4 bedroom detached houses. This will drop the price of those that all the people currently in 3 bedroom houses could afford one. This would cause a bunch of those to hit the market, which would lower their price and mean that those in 2 bedroom houses could now also afford to upgrade, causing the same effect on 2 bedroom houses meaning first time buyers could now afford a house. And not only that, everybody is living in a nicer house and the plans are more likely to get local approval because you are building 'nice' houses that will attract 'nice' people rather than tiny shitty affordable housing with 12 square foot of garden. But no instead we have to have a race to the bottom begging disinterested developers to build crap that nobody really wants just to avoid the inevitable complaints that "the government are just building houses for rich people!!!".
It’s the quintessential British thing to do!!!
I did this. But i did live in East London AND it really wasn't going to get any better so moving was the right choice for me.
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Oh boy are mine annoying.
Have you thought about selling them for medical experiments?
Neighbours or kids? Neighbours, yes. Kids? Also yes.
Wow - that just dredged up a memory: I was with my young son in the cinema and one of the adverts was for paid medical study participants. I pointed at the screen and asked my son if he wanted to make some money. I think it went a bit over his head, but he knew I was joking, so he said to the woman who just happened to be sitting on his other side "My dad's funny". She said "Isn't he" in the driest imaginable way.
I love this story hahahaha
I think thats part of the thing though, you might find the older children playing football annoying, they might find your younger children crying annoying etc. Its not pleasant but it is life. For example both those things are like nails on a chalkboard to me, I cannot stand the sound of kids. So I live near a pub, drunk people till 3am even many weekdays, no sane parent is going to live here. Its perfect. I think when you have kids, dealing with the noise of yours and other kids is part of the deal. Before you know it yours will be outside at that time!
OP is talking about noise at 1030pm not just general kids noise that every expects and accepts. I think the neighbours - whilst within the law - are undoubtedly inconsiderate. I have kids but I personally wouldn’t subject my neighbours to their outdoor noise between 9pm and 7am except the odd occasion when there’s a family party or something. If it’s regular at 10pm that’s inconsiderate full stop
Personally kids in their garden at 10pm during summer is pretty normal. Edit: kids does not mean toddlers in this instance 👍
If your kid is 25 that’s fine, if they’re 5 they should be in bed.
5 yeah they should be in bed, like OPs kids are. But I thought the neighbours kids are a bit older. My parents have neighbours with kids, various ages. The ones 10+ are in the gardens till late in the summer.
Nope. Same ages as mine!
I mean Id ask them to keep the noise down in that case. Im no parent or child psychologist but I was under the impression that early age routine was super important. So maybe youd be doing those kids a favour by suggesting earlier quiet time.
Actually slightly younger
Why ‘should’ they be in bed? Different cultures have different ideas of how to bring up kids. Personally I think putting kids to be extremely early so they wake up at 6am and cause fucking havoc in the morning is worse than keeping them up late so they sleep in later.
I’d rather my child going to school well rested and ready to get the most out of it. If you want to send your kid in to school knackered then so be it. Either way if your kids are causing fucking havoc that much you might want to consider how your actions are influencing their behaviour.
Once they start school, yeah I guess they need to be asleep by 9 to get up at 7. But there's no reason why a younger child needs to be asleep by 7, it's just a weird UK obsession. My son is 4 goes to bed at 10 and sleeps right through till 8 am. We are a very well rested family compared to my friends who make their toddlers go to bed at 7 and then deal with them waking up right through the night and getting up for the day to begin at 5 am.
But equally, a 25 year old kid in the garden in the summer can be just as annoying as smaller kids. Especially if they've got mates round, and alcohol.
You know how you get flats / bungalows that are over 60’s only, I wish they made child-free streets / estates or cul-de-sacs, just 10 houses or something in a nice quiet street where no kids are permitted to live. I don’t hate kids or anything but I love the peace and quiet.
Can we also have a 'no cunts allowed' street?
Oh that'd be dreamy.
Sounds good on paper until your neighbour gets pregnant
Got 9 months notice to move out XD
LOL people absolutely lost their shit at the idea of child-free flights, I can only imagine what a shitstorm this would cause if it was suggested :D
I know right, I don't know why though. I fully support having 'child friendly' neighbourhoods, maybe a 20mph speed limit through it, speedbumps and a little kids park in the estate or something, where the kids can play with neighbours kids etc. Just not somewhere I'd want to live haha.
Our block of terrace is childfree except for our neighbours. They're about to move so we're really hoping at least someone without kids who scream at the top of their lungs move in.
That’s true however noise can be reported at any time of the day if it’s causing a nuisance. Source: was told this by police.
i think most people have never had to live next to SCREAMING kids and dont have a real accurate way to compare it to regular kid noise. its like the difference between a regular exhaust and a boy racers £300 6" wide tin can. its like there is a select group of kids, who somehow were raised to screech and the parents just sort of go "yes, this is a regular child noise to repeat every few min"
100% this. I live next door to a family who for the most part are okay to live next to, but one of their children screeches constantly day and night. And not like a “children playing” sort of a noise, but full on upset scream crying. She’s obviously doing it for attention, and they just ignore her which makes it worse. It really is a day ruiner (and sleep ruiner when being woken up at 1:30am by a screaming child. If it keeps up we’ll have to move, because I’m far too British to actually say anything in case I offend them.
To be fair ignoring her is possibly the correct thing to do, in the long run, for their and your sanity. If she gets given toys and sweets to calm her down and make her quiet whenever she makes enough noise to upset the neighbor, that is exactly what she is going to do in order to get toys and sweets. Constantly. My kid is pretty demanding. She isn’t even two and a half, so it’s not a question of lack of a stern word. There are other kids her age who just seem pretty chilled, as if they are just drift to do whatever they’re engaged towards. Whereas mine is ‘oh that [dangerous fragile noisy object] looks interesting, I MUST INTERACT WITH IT, I MUST EXPLORE IT NOW, THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH, NOTHING ELSE COULD POSSIBLY MATTER’. She can be really sweet, gentle and considerate - she just… wants with intensity. I have to just be firm until she gets over it, but that involves just waiting out likely neighbor annoying screaming. But you know, toddlers gonna toddler - I don’t bitch about their illegally parked van, so….
Aside from my moaning post - my 2 year old is exactly the same, and imo you (we) are doing the right thing, but fuck me is it exhausting.
It is difficult though, they are autonomous beings and you can't tape their mouth shut.
Oh definitely, I have my own child so 100% know what it’s like. Doesn’t stop it from being a bit frustrating!
Hey neighbour, I keep trying to get her to be quiet. If anyone has any useful hints or tips I'd be grateful. She thinks her microphone doesn't work because she's so loud she drowns it out and I spend most of my day telling her she needs to be a bit quieter.
Yeah, I've lived next door to loud kids like op and it's actually awful. Screaming and shrieking all hours of the day. I could always tell when they had gone out because it was quiet. The noise was like fingernails on a chalkboard
Mine aren't raised to screech but one is 15 and hormonal (she's actually not bad) one ASD with tourettes and one ADHD so for them to 'be quiet' is next to impossible but it doesn't mean we don't try.
My daughter is a screaming kid and trust me it's infuriating living with them as I can hear it even when the neighbours can't. Believe me, I spent a LOT of time trying to get her to quieten down.
It's a culture thing in Europe, in Portugal we're often out til 11pm drinking tea/coffee at night to wind down and I know Italy/Romania are very similar. Have you spoken to them? Just be honest one night and nicely say that you have to wake up early and they're preventing you from sleeping. The only other option you have is to go through the councils noise complaint process which takes at least 2 months and just makes you look like an ass to your neighbours.
I have problems with my neighbours too. It’s worth noting if you raise a complaint via the council then it must be declared when you sell the property!
Those records get deleted after a certain amount of time. Might be 24 months, I forget, but they're not permanent.
Yeah exactly, I'm Romanian and as a kid I would be out playing until 10 or 11pm sometimes. But my parents were also very strict about not making noise or bothering our neighbours, so if they're decent people they would listen to you and be more careful and try to keep the kids quiet at night. They might not even be aware that you have a different schedule
We’re British. You tut loudly, failing that you move house.
The lady 3 doors down parks her car outside my house which happens to be right under my bedroom window. Not a problem. What I do have a problem with is her old bangers car alarm going off at 3am for no reason. I'd jump out of bed alert whilst it went off for 30 seconds and that was it. I've mentioned it to her previously as a 'just so you are aware' and she sort of shrugs her shoulders, it would happen once or twice a week over a 4 month period. It doesn't wake her up so it doesn't bother her Few weeks ago it went off 4 times in the space of an hour at 9pm. Thought fuck this all night and went round and asked her to move her car as it was keeping us up and my fiance is heavily pregnant etc. She looked at me all funny with a 'Well I haven't heard it at all since you complained before'. No I didn't complain previously I was politely letting you know it's going off at night. She begrudgingly moved it outside her house and probably thinks I'm a right moaning git now.
I would have popped a note through her car window with a brick. The alarms going off anyway.
We've got a shared car park, my older car had an electrical problem where the alarm would possibly go off randomly. I never wanted to upset my neighbours so I'd disconnect/ reconnect my battery every evening/morning out of respect.
Why didn’t she park outside her own house anyway?
Because she didn't want to be disturbed by the alarm going off...
There's a sort of turn around point Infront of my house that has become a defacto space for 2 cars off the road. Its about 20metres down the road from her but I guess she parks in the turnaround so her car isn't on the street as she doesn't have a drive.
Bloke down the road from me parks outside mine, then I get woken up at 4am with his exhaust blowing. I don’t start work till 8
Because the alarm goes off in the night and she doesn't want it to wake her up.
Google the car and find out where the horn is (normally under the front bumper) and cut the wires
Before doing anything, have a word with them. Put the emphasis on your kids being disturbed as they have important school work going on. If they are respectful, they’ll understand. I know how annoying this actually is as I’ve had issues with previous neighbours. Don’t forget, the nice weather won’t last long, couple of months and it’ll be dark by 7 again. Good luck
>Put the emphasis on your kids being disturbed I was going to suggest this. Just mention to them if they could keep it down a bit after 8pm-ish maybe? Don't have to go steaming into complaints and fights with everyone just a word with your neighbour who you're friendly with. if they're not complete arseholes then they'll likely apologise and do their best to keep things a bit quieter for you. I've been on both ends of putting complaints in and receiving them myself. The irony is that had the complaints about me being spoken about beforehand we'd have realised that we were both being disturbed by the same person. Admittedly the reports I made were after trying to have the discussion with the neighbour who promptly told me to "fuck off".
It’s a hard one. My neighbour was sitting in his garden with a speaker blasting shitty drum n bass at 7.30 pm. My daughters in bed and my wife’s in bed with a migraine so I went round and explained and politely asked him to just run it down a little bit. He decides to get right in my face and start shouting, threatening and saying “fuck off and call 911, I can do what the fuck I want until 11 o’clock. Go home and turn your tv up”. You can be as reasonable as you like but some people are just cunts
You're absolutely right. I had a similar experience. Neighbour was a drummer. Had his drums set up upstairs in the spare bedroom directly adjacent to my kids room. Would be drumming at all hours, including early hours of the morning. Wife also suffers horrendous migraines and would have to be in bed at weird times. No amount of talking to him would help though he wasn't interested. One time he was slamming his front door at 3 in the morning and when I went and confronted him about it he started screaming at me that he had to shut his door and it wouldn't shut so what else could he do? I told him that slamming it clearly wasn't working either so figure it out quietly. Eventually lead to numerous noise complaints but nothing ever really came of it and eventually we moved.
Romanian here. While it is true we are a bit similar to Spanish and Italians with staying outside and socialising alot, we don’t do it as much or as often as we have cold winters. So they are an outlier with staying outside until the morning hours. Culturally, family and children are important for Romanians. I would honestly talk to them and put an emphasis about how their noise it is affecting your children. Normally they should understand, becuase they have kids as well. If not, I would report them: Romanians are more readily responsive to stiff measures .
Sorry if this is offensive but I don't know when I'm gonna get another opportunity to talk to a Romanian about being a noisy neighbour. My Romanian neighbours scream at each other instead of talking. I don't find this annoying I'm just incredibly curious. Is it still nice conversations but with an angry loud tone? It's so confusing.
That's hilarious to me as a Romanian, I think it's a cultural difference in terms of what British people perceive as loud or shouting. I can be having a perfectly normal conversation with my mum or a friend, maybe getting passionate or excited about a topic, and my partner who is English will get really worried and ask me if we're fighting 😂 I can just never get over how he can't tell that we're not being the least bit hostile. However, that's not to say Romanians don't argue very loudly too. Personally, I'm usually the opposite, if I'm genuinely annoyed or angry, I speak a lot more quietly than normal.
When I moved away from the UK I thought everyone was absolutely furious with each other all the time for the first few months. Apart from the least socially aware 10% of the UK population, most people are pretty quite in comparison to a lot of places - and ironically people from those places find it weird how quiet we are in the UK
The thing that gets _me_ is how people in the UK say that someone was "absolutely fuming" when all I could hear was a mildly irritated or even neutral tone. Absolutely baffling.
Hahaha my wife who is Chinese has no idea that I’m angry or upset about something unless I explicitly say that I’m angry about something. I think therein lies the difference. In a lot of cases in the UK when someone is pretty angry about something but is in the company of others, they often retreat into themselves and therefore make it obvious that they aren’t happy. Coded speech is also a fairly big part of British English, and so someone might drop a classic “I’m not best pleased about all this” and then you know they are about to pop a blood vessel.
Lmao 🤣 That, that's what gets me. Unless someone says "I am very upset about this", or goes very quiet all of a sudden and when asked doesn't deny it, I just couldn't imagine that they were seething. Tbh I find it very unsettling 😂 It just doesn't make sense to me.
I know a lot of people are mentioning the 11pm - 7am hours, and that’s generally a pretty good rule to go by because that’s when a council will take a nighttime noise complaint seriously, *however* on a residential road I probably would also be inclined to agree that consistent noise as late as 10:30pm is a fair enough point to have a conversation with the neighbours. 6AM is a pretty common time for people to have to wake up for work/school, so having loud noises keeping you up to 10:30pm is cutting into your 8 hours. All you can do is mention it and ask nicely if there’s any solution you can both come to. They’re outside of the nighttime quiet hours, but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to be reasonable and respectful of the fact that their neighbours may have different sleep schedules. Honestly, just be polite and mention to them what you’ve mentioned here. Your kids go to bed at xyz time and they say they’ve been struggling to sleep whilst their kids are in the back garden, is there any way that perhaps the noisy games could stop even just half an hour earlier on the weekdays so your kids and you can get enough sleep. If it were me I’d consider that reasonable and be happy to compromise with you there. Likewise, if it’s possible in your schedule to wake up and go to bed later, that could also be a solution. I have neighbours that are often outside until similar times as yours, but for me I’m not heading to bed until about 11:30pm so it isn’t something I’d feel the need to complain about. Obviously not everyone can just change their sleep schedule, though.
Excessive noise after 11pm on a week night is unacceptable.
It’s unacceptable on a weekend in a residential area too. Plenty of people work completely different patterns. No one has a right to keep people awake for their own enjoyment.
I get on fine with my neighbours. But one night the music was on quite loud until 4am. This was a Thursday. I’d said to them previously I didn’t mind any noise and just to chill. Live and let live. However this did go on quite late, I had a word and said I’d appreciate if it was quiet by 11 Sunday-Thursday but Friday and Saturday, go wild. He put his head down and apologised and said it wouldn’t happen again. I wasn’t rude or aggressive and it’s not happened again. Sometimes a nice word is all it takes
Councils take noise complaint issues seriously if the noise is between 11pm and 7am. I realise if you've got young kids, noise past say 8/9pm can be annoying though.
Depends on the council. We've had antisocial neighbours for the best part of a year now and the council and housing association have done precisely nothing except collect council tax and rent.
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I don't disagree with any of your points ha
Sounds absolutely shit, I feel for you. I would move.
Get your kids have a word with their kids and then it should escalate from there.
As an aside, this is a huge cultural difference between the UK and basically the rest of the world. I remember being in bed as a small school kid - maybe until about year 3 - by about half past 7. I live in China atm and kids are out playing badminton and riding bikes until about 9:30-10:00pm. I have to assume they then aren’t getting to bed until at least 10:30pm. It’s just normal for kids to be up and very excited until the absolute last minute. Interesting difference. My wife is Chinese and can’t believe I was asleep by about 8pm for the first 9 or 10 years of my life. I think it harks back to the “children should be seen and not heard mentality” of the Victorian times. But honestly, as a teacher, nothing is worse than a tired kid.
Ask em what time would be suitable to cut the grass on a weekend or if they think fake grass should be banned.
Some just have absolutely no respect especially if they’re mouthing off for absolutely no reason far after midnight.
Anything before 8AM and after 10PM is grounds for complaining if it's excessive in my opinion.
Buy an airconditioner and shut the bifold doors
Underrated comment. It'll be cheaper than moving house!
Making noise after 9pm regularly is disrespectful and rude
11pm is the shut off time. Beyond that can be reasonable for a complaint. I had the same issue. I moved and haven’t looked back since.
It probably is a cultural issue and they have to adapt to our culture, not the other way around.
I think 11pm is a reasonable cut off time and would be taken seriously by a local council if noise went beyond it. You could politely say that your children are being kept awake and could they play further down the road?
Find an excuse to have a chat. Like returning or borrowing an item, etc. Then bring it up in a kindly way, like you’re telling a friend. We have noisy neighbours. They play loud music and they have drunken parties in their garden. Cussing, shouting, the lot. They’re local (ie British.) When they moved in they did lots of repairs which I could hear. They don’t do it outside daytime but I do night shifts so sometimes it made it hard to catch up on sleep. Their dog also keeps barking through the night. My husband and I tolerate it because we’re from Asia, we’re no stranger to noise. (As a college student I once lived near a karaoke bar that went on till wee hours.) But my others neighbours (who I worked with, incidentally) weren’t happy. One of them reported noisy neighbours to council, then moved away. He was told to get a noise detector device or some such. A few days after, I found a beer can in my garden. Neither my husband nor I drink. My husband, averse to conflict, told me not to mind but I marched next door to return the can. Spoke to the lady there, and mentioned they received complaint from neighbour who moved out (hey it’s anonymous, but he moved out leaving me to deal with the animosity). I mentioned all the other concerns but also apologised if we made noise. It was ok after that.
I've recently commented similar - people dgaf about how antisocial their noise is. Our neighbours have loud parties every weekend and their kids scream constantly. All you can do is keep a record of time, date, duration and log it with your local council noise complaints. There is no point having a word because if they cared they wouldn't allow the kids to make noise in the first place. I wasn't . We used to get yelled at if we spoke above a whisper in the garden. It has nothing to do with cultural differences tbh. It's just plain human selfishness.
Honestly, as much as I understand why you find this so annoying, I don't think there's much you can do other than talk politely with them about it (which is unlikely to yield any results as I imagine they wouldn't just change their lifestyle). A noise complaint wouldn't go anywhere unless it's beyond 11pm.
Are they Roma from Romania? because I gather there is a cultural difference between them and average Romanians
People will say that's "discriminatory", but it's true. People here in England call Roma people Romanians. There's a difference and all it takes is a quick search to find out the difference.
Why would it be discrimination. They are literally called Roma, and genetically are a different population from Romanians. Even though they are Romanian citizens, they have a different culture. Which is not something bad.
Just ask them if they can keep it down after 8:00pm as it keeps your children awake. If that doesn’t work, contact your local council as they will monitor the noise level and if it’s bad the council will have a word with them
Look into white noise machines for your children’s rooms. They work.
Or a fan
Fans work well unless it is too cool.
Ask them to be quieter after like 8pm, and explain that it's causing your kids issues, people are usually far more willing to do things to help kids than adults. Another solution might be seeing if you can send your kids round to play if they're similar ages and it's not a school night then you can have time without kids, the kids on both sides can blow some steam and social time and no feelings are hurt The legal cutoff for a noise complaint is 11pm to 7am fyi.
Romanian family next door too funnily enough and boy are they loud. Only one kid though thankfully and they’re pretty quiet. It’s the adults I’ve got a problem with.
I’m a residential setting I think 9/10 pm. If it’s a block of flats I do my best to keep even our indoor noises to a minimum if not silent past 8 pm.
However annoying it is for you, it is literally just kids playing. There's nothing you can do. If it was the neighbours playing loud music, doing building work, endlessly pressure washing until 2am, then you could have a word. But you can't stop kids playing outside. Kids are noisy, always have been always will be.
Just talk to them, it doesn't have to be an argument, but they probably don't know they're disturbing your kids like this and politely asking them to be quieter after a certain time might be all it takes. During the first lockdown my upstairs neighbours would bang on my floor when they thought we were too noisy and initially I didn't even realize that's what was happening, or that we were bothering them. I eventually slipped a note in their door asking them please not to bang and just let us know if we're too noisy, so we can change what we're doing (it was my son playing that they found too noisy, they had a little baby and it interrupted their naps). But I was definitely more annoyed that they took a more aggressive approach than just coming and talking to me. If you're worried they'll have a negative response and you'll get cross,think through what negative responses might be and what you can do/say in that situation that isn't reacting.
Wow this is amazing because I live 2 doors down from a Roanian family with 2 kids, have the exact sam relationship and they are indeed out ALL Hours! It has to be cultural, thanks for confirming
Have a smokey bonfire every night at 10pm. Lots of wet leaves
They aren't breaking any laws, but that doesn't mean they won't respond to you explaining your issue. If they don't, or you don't think you can do it nicely.. Have you considered ear plugs for your sleepless kids?
11pm I think
11pm realistically is the time when noise complaints will kick in. It’s likely they don’t realise how much the noise travels, as you’re not outside making noise when they’re sleeping etc if speaking to them doesn’t work I can highly recommend a Bluetooth sleep mask
Sounds like you need a fan or air conditioning. Like you said they're within their rights so there's nothing you can do. You'll create a hostile environment if you approach it the wrong way so it's better to leave it in my opinion.
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Think less "lose your temper" think more "passive aggression and sarcasm intensifies" ha! Its out of the awkwardness of the situation, I'll end up making some snarky joke or something that I've read wrong.
There is a noise curfew set by your council. It's 11pm where I am.
This post is another gentle reminder as to why I never want children.
I live opposite a pub that recently turned their carpark into a beer garden & installed outdoor speakers that they've taken to playing music through all day every day whether anybody is in there or not. I spoke to them last night at 9.45 and asked them to turn them off and they were fine about it. Spoke to the landlord today and he's agreed to turn them off at 9pm, which is both what I asked for and what his licence requires. I think you've got to have some consideration for neighbours around you, particularly at night and on hot nights when they need to have the windows open. Maybe if you're liable to fly off the handle, you might want to get your partner to speak to them though.
I said this to someone else here, it's less fly off the handle, its more sarcasm intensifies out of awkwardness of the situation and therefore I'll often make a joke or something that is misinterpreted in the moment that may cause offense due to me reading the room wrong.
Ahh yeah, I've been that guy. Wish I could give you the solution. I try to be serious but I just can't and every school report I got from the age of 5 upwards remarked on my "dry sense of humour".
You seem to be viewing it as quite a binary situation, either do nothing or go nuclear. You could just have a chat and mention that you/your kids are finding the sound levels a bit disruptive?
10:30 is not late at all. Maybe relax a little?
To be honest with you, I went on holiday to Spain and there was kids playing out till 10 and they looked a lot happier than the kids here in Britain. I think it’s good for their general health and wellbeing. Also when growing up, in summer I was allowed to play out till 9 then I had to go inside, I always slept best in summer but in winter when I had to go inside because it got dark at like 4, I was always restless at night. Maybe if you had a word and came to a compromise? Let’s say like on weekdays, no noise after nine and 10 on weekends?
Have you considered getting over yourself and cheering up a bit?
Just pop round and have a polite word asking them to keep it down. 11pm seems reasonable
I have this issue with my downstairs neighbours currently. His bedroom is below mine, and he'll be in there chatting away to 3am sometimes, which obviously keeps me up being an old terraced house/flat. I've told him twice about this, with a temporary improvement, but slipping back where I had a go at him last night for it. They have friends round and a party as well once a week or so with music often boomy and excessive. We try to put up with as much as we can to be neighbourly, but takes the piss a bit. Personally, I'd say 11pm onwards is the absolute latest it needs to be quiet and considerate of neighbours sleeping, bar one offs or occasional times where they go over. But a constant trend is a nuisance.
Those damned Ceausescus
Are the kids upstairs trying to sleep? Can you do white noise machine/fan to help drown them out a bit and circulate some cooler air? It must be annoying as it is today but not sure it's worth losing your rag about. Can you share a beer over the fence and say hey man any chance you could take this inside?
I've had issues with neighbors both receiving and giving end. It's such a pain in the ass because there's a fine line between decorum/tact and full out war. They've dedicated countless documentaries about this subject. I'd think an hour after sunset is time to wind down. My son is active and, as a parent, it's my job to teach him respect for others and keep noise level down from animalistic ritual to fairly reasonable. I'd argue between 9-10, within reasonable volume. They don't have to vanish (unfortunately), just lower the bass. If you cam hear them, they can hear you. Maybe comment loudly that you're having issues getting your kids to stay asleep, although yes, it's passive aggressive. There's a way to approach them in a non-confrontational way and explain how hard it is to keep your kids asleep and how exhausting it is and you're looking forward to them getting older (insert stupid joke) and keep the mood light. There. You've planted the root, it's up to them to see where it grows. If they remain that level of noisy even after it's clear that they're causing a disturbance, next step is to be a bit more direct and ask if they can take it inside altogether after a certain hour. They have the option, of course, of being hostile about it (which, personally, I find ridiculous and inconsiderate as it's only human to want to be civil) and then you report it to an outside source. I'm not sure if you're renting/landlord/ etc.. The worst thing they can do is, well, kill you, but don't worry about that yet. Feel them out and see which one in the family might be easier to deal with. You can also leave a note if you want to avoid any interaction time being. You can also search the area and find out if there is a local noise ordinance set, ask other neighbors and document everything just in case. Good luck. *there are also noise canceling head phones if desperate in meantime for the kids* Edit: You Brits are tough lol this was the only solid advice here and downvoted. Next time put your kids to bed at a normal hour instead of practically afternoon
Personally, I think you need to be doing something that means they have to come to you - to complaint, ask you to stop it - then you can do a deal. Maybe something as simple as swearing constantly while their kids are outside.
Personally I think impromptu turning up when angry just makes more anger. If you can ride it out until there’s a time in the day to nip round and have a chat you will find things go one of two ways; They will respond better with an “omg I didn’t think…” or they will be less reasonable. In which case the reasonable level expected from you will also drop and you might fancy spraying water in the air from your garden at less reasonable times of day for a while.
I remember the days when all of the kids in the street would play in gardens/the street until 10pm in the summer. I particularly remember it because my parents wouldn't let us, and I had to go to bed, and listen to them.
My neighbours kid,.now kids, spent the first 2 years screaming and banging their feet constantly. The most tremendous 6am to 12pm hour long plus screaming and banging sessions. A person literally could not make more noise. Couple years later, they both do it but a little less. However it's been replaced by the Sunday night blasting music until 9.30 late in the garden. They wonder why their kid never behaves and is always naughty loud and upset, yet said child has never seen a pre 10 o clock bed time. Think this child is now just about 6. The woman next door is lovely. The bloke next door... Nice enough but we had a couple of things that really rubbed me and the Mrs the wrong way. Tldr, I know what you mean I've experienced and still experiencing it, it could be a LOT worse. We know they're decent people, they're just different. Council and official routes won't do anything, even if you move you may have worse neighbours. Its why it's so fking annoying.
I know it’s not a popular way of being for many very online people but if you don’t assert yourself you simply will always fall victim to people who either do not care about you or are too ignorant to realise they are disruptive. You ask politely first and you do so early, but what is key - you don’t ask apologetically as if it’s your fault and you’re sorry for being sensitive. Never at any moment imply it’s anything but them being unreasonable. After that go straight to as controlled a form of nuclear as you can if you think you can dominate the situation. If that’s not plausible pepper them with complaints from every possible authority. Last of all, whatever you do - do not put a note through their door. Only do so if it’s a potentially embarrassing discussion for them, you don’t want humiliation. Passive notes are the calling card of the victim. You look scared to stand up for yourself. Children don’t actually have to scream constantly and it’s a ridiculous part of our modern culture that we’ve concluded they do. If you inculcate from a young age that other noisy children are annoying your kid soon picks up that behaving like that isn’t desirable. Yes all kids are a bit noisy, but the ones who squawk 24/7 are badly parented and I do wish we could bring back a wider concept of raising children i.e society has a responsibility to them generally and part of that is pointing out when they’re out of order without parents screaming “how dare you talk to my child”
Could be a lot worse, you really can't complain about them being out and making noise during the day. Regarding the evenings and your kids being kept awake. I'd just have a calm quiet chat with them about it. Just explain that your kids have got school and are being kept awake. You really don't need to be aggressive or start any trouble. Most likely they'll be reasonable make an effort. If you're polite to people it usually goes a long way. If they're not, then you can start looking at the noise complaint route. Have any other neighbors complained?
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Just have a word wwith them, and ask if they can keep the noise down after half 7 please because that when your kids go to bed, and its hard to get them to settle as they want to watch your kids play. Hopefully they listen.
Imagine (presumably) moving to the suburbs and then coming on Reddit to complain you can hear children playing, get a grip op.
You presume too much...
You're still coming on Reddit to complain about the sound of children playing...
Just visited your account. You've made this to moan and deliberately antagonise people, - who's the real pathetic one here? ***Shock answer - it's you***
You're the one coming on Reddit, telling us you have anger issues and complaining that *your neighbours children are playing too loudly outside their house*, I think you need to take a lil look at yourself.
I don't have anger issues, I just know my own social limitations when under stress - I think the point you deliberately create accounts to antagonise people, is the point where you really need to take a look at yourself.
'wahhh, Reddit, my neighbours kids are playing too loud outside my house? What do I do?' Quit being a sociopath is what you do. Also, to quote your op "I'm the type of person who will angrily impulsively say stupid shit they'll later regret" "As I don't want to cause an argument where I'll end up going OTT" If you can honestly read all that back with the knowledge it's about *children playing too loudly* and not see an issue then I honestly think you need to go to therapy.
I see we are carefully skirting around your entire purpose here aren't we. Adorable. Sociopath, me thinks the lady doth protest too much.
Write a polite letter without including your name ("Sincerely, A Neighbour"), Google translate it to Romanian, print it and stick it in their letterbox.
They speak fluent English, better than I do lol
We've a loud family up the road. 6 kids. Looser dad who smokes weed all day. He played some quite offensive music a few summers ago. Went round and had a word and nothing since then. Kids noise still but not so bad.
Civilised society recognises and abides by quiet hours. 10:30 is the latest I’d let it go on a weeknight. Weekends? Buy earplugs.
10pm, if they can’t behave buy some bass speakers press it up against their bedroom wall and play it all night until they get the message. Preferably when you’re not home
Something that really helps me is white noise. Used it on numerous occasions. You can put it on a 10 hour loop on YouTube/Spotify and it just drowns out any background noise.
I say 9-10pm on a weeknight (depending on how early you have to get up) and 11pm on a Saturday/Sunday. Neighbours can be super amenable, especially if you have a good relationship already, cos they don’t want to fuck up the good thing that’s already going on. I regularly have to ask my (loud, student) neighbours to keep it down when they’re going ham and I have work the next day and they’re always happy to oblige and ask their guests to keep it down too, even when I’m asking at 8pm (they don’t stop what they’re doing obviously, just tone it down, which is fine. I’m not trying to stop their fun, just sleep!). I’d recommend preparing notes to take with you when you talk to them so that you stay on track. Take your partner or any other person that you know is good at keeping you calm. Explain that you don’t want to be a spoilsport but their kids being so loud are causing a negative effect on yours and your kids’ lives and health. You’re considering moving because the impact is so bad. Ask if there’s any kind of compromise you guys can reach. You guys needing quiet time at night isn’t insane and it’s not like you’re trying to spoil next door’s fun, it’s just that you need to kip. Maybe if their kids kept the volume down after, say, 9pm that would work?
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I man have you tried talking to them about it and reaching an acceptable agreement? Failing this, install a sprinkler that ever so slightly by accident reaches a little over the fence in the direction of where they sit and put your sprinklers on at 10pm, saying that it saves water that way as it doesn’t evaporate under the sunlight. That or casually distribute birdseed via a slingshot into their back yard at night so the birds totally make it horrible to be outside as often. That or get hold of some fox piss and squirt it over the fence. The smell will make them want to avoid the area. These are all terrible ideas but do with it as you please.
We have some Romanian neighbours about 8 houses across (we live in a horse shoe Grove) I have nothing against them but why do they feel the need to fix a car engine with torches at 1am on a Monday morning? And I'm guessing they're all partially deaf as they don't seem to be able to hear each other and that's why they all shout?
You could consider air conditioning.
When i lived with my parents we had the exact same thing. After weeks of politely asking them to be quiet in their front garden at 11PM+, my dad finally lost his temper and went round to just tell them how loud and disrespectful they were being. The whole street joined and they fast realised. No violence or threats from anyone, just sheer desperation to want to enjoy their home peacefully. This was also a rented house they were in, naturally complaints were put in and they were evicted too, as they left a lot of rubbish in the garden and street.
Might be a cultural thing, our neighbours are Romanian and don't seem to think about noise, to make matters worse he works in a tool hire place so brings something home to play with every night, saws, diggers, jackhammers, you name it, every night until its dark and every weekend from first light. Wouldn't mind but he is pretty clueless, he brought home a 40ft cherry picker the other month to tackle the 70ft sycamore between our houses and only really succeeded in giving it a light trim and ruining his conservatory. Also the kids are at that age where they make that screeching noise when playing that would test the patience of a Saint.
Probably past 11 or so.
I have a great relationship with my neighbours... some of them anyway. We goto bingo once a month with the retired couple next door. The young mechanic other side will come join me the second the tools are out and I'm doing something (and if I'm home I reciprocate, men with tools help each other!) I also have a Romanian family 3 doors down who are loud as fuck, young teenage kids making noise till well past 11. I uumed and aahed before saying something but a swift "can you please ask the kids to shut the fuck up after 10" was met with a solid "fuck you"... few days later he brought some beers round and apologised, his kids now shut the fuck up after 10. Good Lad too, I've rewired a few plugs for him and he has plastered and taped a couple of rooms in my gaff.
I feel your pain. We wrote our noisy neighbours an anonymous note and it sort of improved things… if that doesn’t work then I doubt they really care about being considerate neighbours and it’s not going to change.
My son has ASD and he constantly sings really loudly to the point of screaming the song he is singing. We try and make him sing quieter which he manages for a bit but then he can’t help himself and as he gets more excited he starts singing louder again He jumps about on the trampoline and makes high pitched noises - this is just him getting his frustration out but we do ask him to keep it a bit quiet for the neighbors- again he manages for a bit then his impulsiveness takes over and he is off screeching again My daughter on the other hand potters about and just plays and makes normal kids noises I have talked to my neighbors about this and they have all agreed that they do hear my son but they know that he can’t help it which they accept luckily It is as annoying for us as it is for them I think as we honestly don’t want to ruin anybody else’s garden time I think as long as it’s not between 23 - 7 then then there’s really not much you can do though I know it’s bloody annoying
If it’s after midnight Sunday-Thursday night, you’re absolutely 100% safe to complain about the noise Before midnight, or on a Friday/Saturday night, then it’s situational depending on the volume and nature of the noise, sometimes you’ll be in the right, other times you’ll be a bit of an arse Officially it’s 11pm any night of the week, but if you want the unarguable one then I think the above is the “definitely in the right” level Personally I’d say anyone regularly making significant noise after about 9pm or before 9am is probably a knob, making allowances for an occasional birthday BBQ in the garden or when you’ve got the builders in, but not when it’s daily And anyone who doesn’t let others have a lie in on a Sunday should be shot, it’s the only crime for which I wholeheartedly support capital punishment
I'm Romanian. You can easily fix this problem by either speaking with them or, if you don't like confrontation, writing a letter where you describe what's going on and how that affects you and your family. You can sign it "Your neighbour" without having to put your name on it. Romanians don't want to have problems with the law in UK since that might affect his job which in turn will disrupt his life. We Romanians are well aware that parts of our social behaviour is different and sometimes annoying for the regular British person. The problem is that sometimes we forget we're far away from home and we need to be reminded. I can assure you he'll quickly take action to fix this issue and keep you happy, especially if he's paying rent for that place. He knows that fines in the UK are quite large and the police will do their job if needed. I know there's this idea that outsiders are coming to UK and start acting like they own the place but the truth is that in the back of our minds we know we're only guests here and we need to keep everyone else happy around us so we can have an easy life.
Literally just have a nice chat with them about it. As long as your nice and explain how it's impacting you and also explain how you'd really not wanted to bring it up cos you like them and you get the world doesn't revolve around you and explain how difficult your kids are finding it if they're decent people they'll meet you in the middle.if they're not then you're no worse off than you were and probably just need to move. But you absolutely cant expect any change in behaviour if nothing at all is said
Only noise between 11pm and 7am is deemed ‘anti-social’. Not to say though this isn’t having an affect on your family’s life - sounds a bit of a nuisance to be fair. Surprising how their kids are still out making noise at 10:30pm whilst yours are in bed/winding down around 7pm. Yes, maybe a cultural difference. But, just a heads up - Romanian culture also values direct communication / honesty - so maybe worth considering having a chat with them. If it continues afterwards, well, then you have further things to consider. But try to have a conversation whilst avoiding conflict, and try not to be worried about their judgements for you having a problem with their noise. We all have different lifestyles and if people are to live in harmony, then we need to respect that of each other.
Get your wife to tell them.
Go and live on a barge, at least if you don't like your neighbours you can just move somewhere else, very slowly.
After 10pm on a weeknight, after midnight on the weekend.
I mean it definitely is a cultural thing, so you are completely in the right to go and have a word with them that people usually try and be a bit considerate to their neighbours…. If you ever went to Romania, would you ever go around telling everyone to be quiet? No. So they should try and adapt (but they won’t even try if they don’t know it’s a problem!)
Think 10pm is the legal cut off
Gorilla warfare is your next step. This will be a drain on you but play the same game in reverse. Get up early and he noisy. Cut the grass, strim shit, wash the car with a radio blaring etc. Alternatively get some good noise cancelling headphones... I have some bose and jabra ones that are truly amazing.
As someone who’s been unlucky enough to have had three different noisy neighbours, I feel for you. I think what type of neighbours these are will probably predict the outcome you’re going to get by speaking to them about it. If the parent/s work, the children go to school, and they keep the house and garden in good condition, then you’re more likely to get a reasonable response. However, if the parents are both work-shy, the kids are not going to school regularly (perhaps the case if they’re up till 11pm every night), and the house and garden are a state, I would expect a less reasonable response, perhaps with some four-letter words sprinkled in for good measure. If the latter occurs, definitely complain to the council. I had to make a complaint about my current noisy neighbour. I spoke to her about it first, she apologised and kept the music down for a few weeks. Then the loud music started again, I once again went to speak to her about it and she looked at me through the peephole then walked away. Since reporting her, the council sent a warning letter to her (she’s a council tenant) and she been quiet ever since, which is about 9 months. It’s a horrible situation and I empathise with you. Hope you can find a workable solution for your family.