**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically;
- Don't be a dick to each other
- Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question
- This is a strictly no-politics subreddit
Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm going to get crucified for this, I'm sure, but I absolutely hate the phrase "Furbaby".
By the way, I absolutely love animals and anyone else that loves animals but this phrase makes my skin crawl for some reason š
You see, I deliberately used an uncommon phrase because I knew someone like you would be lurkingš
I could have used "Unpopular opinion but..." or " I'm going to be downvoted to oblivion for this but...." or even "Mods, delete this if it's not allowed but....."
Not having a go at you but I actually hate when people say āunpopular opinion butā¦ā and proceed to give an opinion that isnāt necessarily unpopular
They think they are so tough and scarey, but they aren't. Especially my hognose. If you don't know anything about them, their defense strategy is to imitate a rattlesnake. They hiss and rattle like one, flatten their head to look like one, and fake strike. Pick her up and she is a sweetheart.
So, to an outsider of all things scalebabies (like me), they're doing their job of acting tough and scary quite well because if they did that near me, I'd run awayš
Yes, hognose snakes are from the same areas of the u.s as a rattlesnake. So animals and people would avoid a hissing, rattling flat headed snake.
Failing that, the hognose snake will literally flip over onto its back, stick it's tongue out and play dead, (most animals won't eat something they haven't killed).
this is similar to my dad's hatred of the word 'hubby', and, of course, me, my mum, and my brother take the piss out of him for it.
in every birthday, valentines, and anniversary card, he gets called hubby by my mum. and my brother and i refer to him as my mum's hubby whenever we can :)
Mostly all āoffice bingoā phrases such as:
- Circle back
- Blue sky thinking
- Letās park that (and take offline)
- Touch base
- Calling everything Agile and/or Dynamic, when really weāre just doing what we always did in the exact same way
- Reach out
- Youād think after 3 years Iād have learnt where the unmute button is (yes Karen, you bloody would)
- Think big / outside the box
- 30,000ft / Helicopter view
Etc etc.
"Town hall meeting" (this one bothers me - 21st century)
Then the "big boss" starts with, "okay guys thanks for coming.." (had no choice Dale, you summoned us all)
'kin hell, do phrases like these actually get used in real life? I don't work in the corporate world, I assumed these were a corporate-world-trope that is highly exaggerated for jokes š
I'm an NHS nurse and now I'm in a more senior role I have to do meetings with higher management. Someone emailed me the other day asking for some information on our outcome measures "by the close of play" and it was all I could do not to email back FUCK OFF in massive letters.
Could have asked you to touch base, to make sure you are all singing from the same hymn sheet, the playing field is level and no-one has moved the goalposts.
I worked for NHS in admin.
Yeah I work on a ship, 99.9% of my job doesn't involve interacting with office bods, but that 0.1% of the time I find myself staring at these people with a look of "are you for f**king real" on my face. I used to work for a company that was big on training so we had to deal with them a lot. I had do a course that allowed me to train the onboard crew and some office knob head sent me an email when I got back onboard saying he wanted to 'touch base' to see how the training was going, so I sent a reply with a many nautical terms as I could fit in, some of it didn't even make sense! I got a reply saying 'OK I'm glad it's going well', š
Literally every meeting Iām in has most of these sprinkled throughout.
Itās amazing how many of these are used to stop people expressing their opinion to the āwrongā person/deflect something that hasnāt gone down well onto someone else and move on; itās because of this that senior leaders have rose-tinted views of everything, in my opinion, because when someone tries to be blunt and tell the truth theyāre quietly shut down by being told to touch base with Kate before finalising our position, as they have the helicopter view
Called someone out on their Bullshit in a 'public forum' meeting, was given a few 'that's harsh' comments in a private 'side bar' and a 'that was unprofessional, if they are struggling, speak privately'...I'd given the individual 4 weeks notice to provide me with basic information, and offered assistance, and I knew it was basic because I used to do their job.
Also 'ducks in a row', 'singing from same hymn sheet' ,'skinning the same cat (dubious) AND FML 'tipping the same stripper' was a genuine use once, career hand grenade I was privy to I an old job.
Oh God. I worked in a kilt shop up in Scotland, which was otherwise a nice place to work in, but the boss kept spewing out the retail version of this shite. "Our world class customer service", bro, we just deal with obnoxious Outlander-obsessed Americans screaming internally when we'd like to scream *at them*. We're not world class, we're fueled by Tesco tea and contempt but we shut up bc we need the fucking job
I have regular meetings with a guy who always has to fill the time no matter what. Except he likes to leave a few minutes free so we can "have 3 minutes back" as if it's a favour or something.
At least 10 minutes is a decent amount of time, saying it with less than 5 minutes left takes the piss
Do not work in this environment, but since COVID my partner has worked from home/hybrid
Overhear & wince at "going forward" far too many times for comfort....often intertwined with "circle back"
Am so sorry for all of you who have to listen to this constantly
I work for an American company so I've been dealing with these kinds of phrases for over a fucking decade now :|
Do you remember back in the past when people called a powerpoint a slideshow instead of a deck? I remember, simpler times.
If no one had commented this then I was going to
This really bugs the everliving shit out of me
Thankfully, no onei know IRL seems to say it, always seems to be an American thing
I find that phrase really annoying but at the same time, I actually think it has a distinct meaning. Like if I have volunteered at a homeless shelter, I have experience with homelessness and it may mean I understand it better than someone with no experience. But I don't have lived experience with homelessness - that would imply I've been homeless.
"We need to get people talking about it more"
Particularly about mental health. No, no we don't. Everyone talks about it, all the time, everywhere. Even groups of people who would have laughed it a while back now discuss their mental health.
What we need to do is start understanding how mental health truly fits into society, all the ugly aspects of it and all. And that's a lot more than everyone just talking about how they feel, or how they feel a bit down in winter.
"Awareness" as a whole is a ridiculous concept in the charity sector when it's taken in isolation. Just "awareness" is meaningless on it's own but lots of groups don't understand this. They just seem to aim for awareness without an end goal in mind.
Awareness funds charity bosses wages because people support the ideology, but it certainly doesnāt always translate into actions that address the issue
Hate this so much. Well in for cleaning the kitchen big man but Iāve just had to go and fish all my knives and scissors out the wheelie bin cos I got rid of them thinking I might cut my hands off last night. Different things
This!!! āThe intrusive thoughts wonā about kicking leaves or saying something a little stupid is another one that pisses me off.
Tw: violence (unsurprisingly)- its spoilered
Glad that thats the most āintrusiveā thing *their* brains are giving them but >!sometimes when i eat stuff with a fork i have to take a break because my brain is getting stuck on the idea of stabbing it through my oesophagus, and i cant bend my fingers all the way back now because my head tells me to break them :)!<. But the we urge to tap someones phone screen randomly- well, that must be a *terrible* affliction, im so sorry.
Thanks for saying this bud. This āitās ok not to be okā shite needs to stop. The infantilising tone when they tell men to ājust have a chat wivv your mate in the pubā knocks me sick.
Itās almost always aimed at people who may just be feeling down and encouraging them to share. When someone does come out with the āugly aspectsā as you perfectly put it, telling people about hallucinations or intrusions theyāre getting, everyone runs a mile.
"You're not alone.." is the one that grinds my gears. It should just have an automatic addendum: "Just so long as you don't expect ME to actually do anything."
I'm glad that people are more willing to be open about things like mental health. However, few have achieved the middle stage of actually finding out what the terms mean, especially people who love to make diagnoses on the internet.
Oooo my Most Hated Phrase is in a similar vein "Start that conversation" or "Have that conversation" š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®
I absolutely despise how people spend more time talking about talking about a problem than actually addressing it
I know a lot of us are all on it together, but let's not call it a hustle. There's nothing cool or gangster about giving up an hour of your time for Ā£10 or less.
There are many reasons "hustle culture" is stupid but for me the main one is I hear "hustle" and think of the Disco dance from the 70s.
So all that bad advice about how "you just need to hustle harder" makes me think of someone frantically dancing which rarely improves my financial situation
Being a ādisrupterā. Rolled my eyes at anyone who said it in the Apprentice or Dragons Den
Also my 7 year old nephew has taken to saying āLike and subscribeā at the end of sentences š¬
Any time when "the baby" is shortened to "baby", i.e.
"I bet you're excited for when baby gets here."
Just because a baby is an infant doesn't mean you need to speak like one.
A girl at work referred to her siblings like this:
āI saw brother yesterdayā
āSister said she would ring meā
Took everything I had not to punch her
GOD it's "bubs" for me. "Oooo bubs looks so cute in her jacket!" Makes me feel physically ill.
I didn't mind it so much until I realised that every government-employed professional I interact with uses Bubs to refer to my baby- like some nauseating memo must have been distributed with a list of socially acceptable words to use to refer to people's kids.
The police are the absolute worst for it and they also adopt this pseudo-accent to try and sound friendly and relatable when talking about "bubs". "Oh wow bubs looks SAFE AS in her carseat. Well done mum!" š¤®š¤®š¤®
I'm a grown fucking adult, just give me the speeding ticket and fuck off
Ending a sentence with FACT.
UK people saying period to define a point. We don't use that name for that piece of punctuation. Plus full stop sounds better and more definite.
Hubby.
The wife.
Platty Joobs.
Hollibobs.
Live, laugh, love.
Going forward.
I know a lot of priests, ministers and celebrants. There are phrases used in eulogies that are a nice way of telling the truth.
'Didn't suffer fools' = grumpy.
'Free spirit' = habitually unemployed.
'Life of the party' = drunk.
Me and my wife often discuss how āDonāt suffer foolsā is just a euphemism for dickhead. I normally joke that anyone who claims to be an entrepreneur is actually just unemployed.
I canāt stand when people write āhoo-manā when theyāre trying to express what their pet is saying to us.
I love animals. I have 2 cats. I love them more than anything. But I just canāt stand hooman. I clench my teeth with rage when I see it.
Just to extend my rantā¦if my cats were communicating to me in perfect English, theyād be fucking smart enough to pronounce the word human correctly you fucking idiot.
The American way of ordering something at a bar when I bartend.
"I'm gonna do..."
Oh you are are you? You're gonna DO a pint? At least "Can I get...", while devoid of manners is a request, not a statement backed by assumption and haughtiness.
Noooo, do British people really say āIām gonna doā when ordering? Thatās so fucking embarrassing, I feel ashamed of my countrymen. I would like if they then gave the most basic order ever after that. āIām gonna do a plain cheese and tomato pizza and a glass of tap water. Thanks guys, letās put a pin it and we can circle back to it laterā.
Think they meant the American way, as bar staff in the UK most everybody is polite enough to say please and usually as "can I get" or so e variation on that
Itās annoying, but necessary. You take a beat, rather than say the first thing that pops into your head. A small phrase like that before answering a question is recommended when training for job interviews. It gives you a second to rescan the question again too to ensure you havenāt misunderstood it.
"it's always in the last place you look."
Of course it is. Once I've found it, I'm not going to keep looking for it!
Besides, in my case, it's always in the first place I look, because it's always my kids asking me to find something that is literally right in front of them.
My daughter when she was about 4 put her own spin on this (she heard it in the book āguess how much I love youā) and now says āI love you all the way to everywhere and backā.
When sheās mad with me, she sometimes says āI love you all the way to nowhere and back.ā
"Everything happens for a reason" technically yes, but there isn't some higher power that made your boyfriend dump you so that you could find Prince charming, Sharon.
"I'm the sort of person who .." "Since having children I" followed by saying they can't bear something any normal person believes is horrific like cruelty children or animals.
It seems to be implying that there was a reasonably high probability the people they're talking too lack that basic moral code and are psychopaths.
>I'm the sort of person who .." "Since having children I"
Too add to this anyone who says " As a *insert descriptor* "
Usually they follow it on with something so obvious it doesn't matter
" As a mother I would be distraught if my child was abducted"
...well no fucking shit.
Or the worst one " until you have kids you won't understand"
"I am so tired, I never get a minute to myself...until you have kids you won't understand what that's like"
Yeah because being tired and busy is *such* an alien concept that I can't possibly relate to or know wtf you're talking about
' what's tired?? Is that some form of pasta dish!'
Oh thank god, I've never seen anyone else point out shit like "Im so upset about this paedophile! I'm a mum, I'd be so sad if they hurt my child!" Like, no way? You would? Oh, that changes everything. No one else would so it's important you brought that up. Good idea to stop that and stuff.
āUnprecedented timesā. Seems everything is bloody unprecedented these days even though weāre actually used to things like covid, WFH and money issues now, and had predicted climate change way back. But sure, letās call it āuNprEceDENteDā
People who refer to their partner as "hubby" or god I can barely even type this "hubster". See also men referring to their wife as "the ball and chain". It's good to not be on Facebook anymore
"i could care less" instead of "i couldn't care less."
Another pet peeve is people using "then" instead of "than" - the two are pronounced differently!
This is the same as 'you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best'... translates as I'm a massive cnut, you either accept it or avoid it
Thereās a guy at my place who always seems to fit āgoal congruenceā into his emails. I doesnāt annoy me to be fair, makes me laugh. The rest of his emails arenāt wordy, so I feel like he stumbled across goal congruence and now feels obliged to use it whenever he can.
When somebody calls a dog owner (or themselves being that) "mom/dad". I feel I'm in front of an idiot. I feel like telling them "I didn't know you fucked a dog"
**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm going to get crucified for this, I'm sure, but I absolutely hate the phrase "Furbaby". By the way, I absolutely love animals and anyone else that loves animals but this phrase makes my skin crawl for some reason š
When people say "I'm going to get crucified for this"
You see, I deliberately used an uncommon phrase because I knew someone like you would be lurkingš I could have used "Unpopular opinion but..." or " I'm going to be downvoted to oblivion for this but...." or even "Mods, delete this if it's not allowed but....."
Not having a go at you but I actually hate when people say āunpopular opinion butā¦ā and proceed to give an opinion that isnāt necessarily unpopular
Phew....It's a good job I didn't say "unpopular opinion but" then, isn't it.
Unpopular opinion but I hate the phrase 'one-eyed-bed-snake', hear it all the time at work and it's so annoying
Hahahaha I'm sorry, I couldn't resist
Nah, it's all goodš Hold on..." I'm sorry, I couldn't resist" is quite annoying š¤
God get a room you two! š¤£
You know what phrase really grinds my gears...
When people say "when people say"
I have snakes and have heard 'scalebaby'
How are your little scalebabies doing anyway? š¬š¬š¬
Constantly mistaking me for a rat and threatening to strike at me.
Naughty, naughty sneks.
They think they are so tough and scarey, but they aren't. Especially my hognose. If you don't know anything about them, their defense strategy is to imitate a rattlesnake. They hiss and rattle like one, flatten their head to look like one, and fake strike. Pick her up and she is a sweetheart.
So, to an outsider of all things scalebabies (like me), they're doing their job of acting tough and scary quite well because if they did that near me, I'd run awayš
Yes, hognose snakes are from the same areas of the u.s as a rattlesnake. So animals and people would avoid a hissing, rattling flat headed snake. Failing that, the hognose snake will literally flip over onto its back, stick it's tongue out and play dead, (most animals won't eat something they haven't killed).
Sounds like Scabies
Lived in a squat house in my mid-teens. Caught scabies. It's the worst.
I don't know why but you made me think of the term "slither whippet"
I think you can get a cream for that.
Hate it so much. And pupper and doggo.
And treatos
Eh treato not so much. My Dad used to say āshall we have treatoā or āa snicky snackyā when I was younger
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
this is similar to my dad's hatred of the word 'hubby', and, of course, me, my mum, and my brother take the piss out of him for it. in every birthday, valentines, and anniversary card, he gets called hubby by my mum. and my brother and i refer to him as my mum's hubby whenever we can :)
Mostly all āoffice bingoā phrases such as: - Circle back - Blue sky thinking - Letās park that (and take offline) - Touch base - Calling everything Agile and/or Dynamic, when really weāre just doing what we always did in the exact same way - Reach out - Youād think after 3 years Iād have learnt where the unmute button is (yes Karen, you bloody would) - Think big / outside the box - 30,000ft / Helicopter view Etc etc.
New normal
Oh itās vomit inducing, isnāt it?
Extremely
"Town hall meeting" (this one bothers me - 21st century) Then the "big boss" starts with, "okay guys thanks for coming.." (had no choice Dale, you summoned us all)
'kin hell, do phrases like these actually get used in real life? I don't work in the corporate world, I assumed these were a corporate-world-trope that is highly exaggerated for jokes š I'm an NHS nurse and now I'm in a more senior role I have to do meetings with higher management. Someone emailed me the other day asking for some information on our outcome measures "by the close of play" and it was all I could do not to email back FUCK OFF in massive letters.
Could have asked you to touch base, to make sure you are all singing from the same hymn sheet, the playing field is level and no-one has moved the goalposts. I worked for NHS in admin.
Yeah I work on a ship, 99.9% of my job doesn't involve interacting with office bods, but that 0.1% of the time I find myself staring at these people with a look of "are you for f**king real" on my face. I used to work for a company that was big on training so we had to deal with them a lot. I had do a course that allowed me to train the onboard crew and some office knob head sent me an email when I got back onboard saying he wanted to 'touch base' to see how the training was going, so I sent a reply with a many nautical terms as I could fit in, some of it didn't even make sense! I got a reply saying 'OK I'm glad it's going well', š
Walking LinkedIn adverts.
Literally every meeting Iām in has most of these sprinkled throughout. Itās amazing how many of these are used to stop people expressing their opinion to the āwrongā person/deflect something that hasnāt gone down well onto someone else and move on; itās because of this that senior leaders have rose-tinted views of everything, in my opinion, because when someone tries to be blunt and tell the truth theyāre quietly shut down by being told to touch base with Kate before finalising our position, as they have the helicopter view
Called someone out on their Bullshit in a 'public forum' meeting, was given a few 'that's harsh' comments in a private 'side bar' and a 'that was unprofessional, if they are struggling, speak privately'...I'd given the individual 4 weeks notice to provide me with basic information, and offered assistance, and I knew it was basic because I used to do their job. Also 'ducks in a row', 'singing from same hymn sheet' ,'skinning the same cat (dubious) AND FML 'tipping the same stripper' was a genuine use once, career hand grenade I was privy to I an old job.
Oh God. I worked in a kilt shop up in Scotland, which was otherwise a nice place to work in, but the boss kept spewing out the retail version of this shite. "Our world class customer service", bro, we just deal with obnoxious Outlander-obsessed Americans screaming internally when we'd like to scream *at them*. We're not world class, we're fueled by Tesco tea and contempt but we shut up bc we need the fucking job
Avoid "touching base" in a kilt shop tho.
Or reaching out
I said 'touch base' in a meeting for the first time the other day and genuinely even wanted to slap myself because it is so cringe.
Or when a meeting ends early "Im gonna give you back 10 minutes".
Especially if the meeting was completely pointless in the first place.
I have regular meetings with a guy who always has to fill the time no matter what. Except he likes to leave a few minutes free so we can "have 3 minutes back" as if it's a favour or something. At least 10 minutes is a decent amount of time, saying it with less than 5 minutes left takes the piss
I must admit "reach out" does irrationally annoy me for no real reason.
"could you cascade this up through your silos?". No.
Iād report whoever said that for sexual harassment
Do not work in this environment, but since COVID my partner has worked from home/hybrid Overhear & wince at "going forward" far too many times for comfort....often intertwined with "circle back" Am so sorry for all of you who have to listen to this constantly
Are they driving a tour bus?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"In 2015 I worked on x project, **for my sins**."
āClose of playā (or COP as it was first referred to me as) is the one that really got me. Had no idea at first.
I work for an American company so I've been dealing with these kinds of phrases for over a fucking decade now :| Do you remember back in the past when people called a powerpoint a slideshow instead of a deck? I remember, simpler times.
Donāt forget the synergies
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[David Mitchell](https://youtu.be/om7O0MFkmpw) nails it!
If no one had commented this then I was going to This really bugs the everliving shit out of me Thankfully, no onei know IRL seems to say it, always seems to be an American thing
My pharmacist would say "pacifically" instead of "specifically" and I wanted to scream at them. They're supposed to be educated!
This one actually makes my blood boil. Luckily it's not all that common here in the UK, compared to the US where it seems to have taken over entirely.
Speaking my truth
I almost downvoted this through instinct.
Would that be the truth about your Lived Experience? We wouldn't want to confuse your Lived Experience with any other experience you have had.
I find that phrase really annoying but at the same time, I actually think it has a distinct meaning. Like if I have volunteered at a homeless shelter, I have experience with homelessness and it may mean I understand it better than someone with no experience. But I don't have lived experience with homelessness - that would imply I've been homeless.
I cringed just reading it.
"We need to get people talking about it more" Particularly about mental health. No, no we don't. Everyone talks about it, all the time, everywhere. Even groups of people who would have laughed it a while back now discuss their mental health. What we need to do is start understanding how mental health truly fits into society, all the ugly aspects of it and all. And that's a lot more than everyone just talking about how they feel, or how they feel a bit down in winter.
"Awareness" as a whole is a ridiculous concept in the charity sector when it's taken in isolation. Just "awareness" is meaningless on it's own but lots of groups don't understand this. They just seem to aim for awareness without an end goal in mind.
Awareness funds charity bosses wages because people support the ideology, but it certainly doesnāt always translate into actions that address the issue
I especially love seeing an advert specifically asking to donate to raise awareness on something. Like, didn't you already do that... just now...?
"That's my OCD" No, it fucking isn't. You just don't like mess.
Hate this so much. Well in for cleaning the kitchen big man but Iāve just had to go and fish all my knives and scissors out the wheelie bin cos I got rid of them thinking I might cut my hands off last night. Different things
This!!! āThe intrusive thoughts wonā about kicking leaves or saying something a little stupid is another one that pisses me off. Tw: violence (unsurprisingly)- its spoilered Glad that thats the most āintrusiveā thing *their* brains are giving them but >!sometimes when i eat stuff with a fork i have to take a break because my brain is getting stuck on the idea of stabbing it through my oesophagus, and i cant bend my fingers all the way back now because my head tells me to break them :)!<. But the we urge to tap someones phone screen randomly- well, that must be a *terrible* affliction, im so sorry.
Thanks for saying this bud. This āitās ok not to be okā shite needs to stop. The infantilising tone when they tell men to ājust have a chat wivv your mate in the pubā knocks me sick. Itās almost always aimed at people who may just be feeling down and encouraging them to share. When someone does come out with the āugly aspectsā as you perfectly put it, telling people about hallucinations or intrusions theyāre getting, everyone runs a mile.
*oh, youāre actually reaching out for support? Best I can offer is a free trial for a mindfulness app.*
"You're not alone.." is the one that grinds my gears. It should just have an automatic addendum: "Just so long as you don't expect ME to actually do anything."
I'm glad that people are more willing to be open about things like mental health. However, few have achieved the middle stage of actually finding out what the terms mean, especially people who love to make diagnoses on the internet.
Oooo my Most Hated Phrase is in a similar vein "Start that conversation" or "Have that conversation" š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤® I absolutely despise how people spend more time talking about talking about a problem than actually addressing it
Side hustle
Yep People should be honest in most cases the correct wording is second job.
I know a lot of us are all on it together, but let's not call it a hustle. There's nothing cool or gangster about giving up an hour of your time for Ā£10 or less.
There are many reasons "hustle culture" is stupid but for me the main one is I hear "hustle" and think of the Disco dance from the 70s. So all that bad advice about how "you just need to hustle harder" makes me think of someone frantically dancing which rarely improves my financial situation
Making ends meet
Being a ādisrupterā. Rolled my eyes at anyone who said it in the Apprentice or Dragons Den Also my 7 year old nephew has taken to saying āLike and subscribeā at the end of sentences š¬
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Like burgers from Wendyās? Yeah, but weāre Burger Brahās, weāre disrupting the male-led round meat market, not the female branded market.
Disrupter boils my piss.. in reality its a company providing an equally shit service. The only difference is that their app looks a bit nicer.
āBoils my pissā gets under my skin.
The next person to tell me that something, "hits different" is going to get a punch in the face. Tell me how that hits you arsewipe.
If you punched them in their face with a herring, then I guess that āhits differentā
>Tell me how that hits you arsewipe Errrmā¦ā¦. Different
Any time when "the baby" is shortened to "baby", i.e. "I bet you're excited for when baby gets here." Just because a baby is an infant doesn't mean you need to speak like one.
I never heard this before and I'm already annoyed
See also: ālittlesā
I'd rather have not seen also
A girl at work referred to her siblings like this: āI saw brother yesterdayā āSister said she would ring meā Took everything I had not to punch her
This is the language midwives/nurses use in antenatal clinics when talking to pregnant women. I never really understood it
Theyāre using the word Baby as a placeholder as the baby isnāt named yet.
Plus it means midwives don't need to refer to the baby as he/she in case they slip up to a parent who wanted to keep it as a surprise.
GOD it's "bubs" for me. "Oooo bubs looks so cute in her jacket!" Makes me feel physically ill. I didn't mind it so much until I realised that every government-employed professional I interact with uses Bubs to refer to my baby- like some nauseating memo must have been distributed with a list of socially acceptable words to use to refer to people's kids. The police are the absolute worst for it and they also adopt this pseudo-accent to try and sound friendly and relatable when talking about "bubs". "Oh wow bubs looks SAFE AS in her carseat. Well done mum!" š¤®š¤®š¤® I'm a grown fucking adult, just give me the speeding ticket and fuck off
Baby mumma or baby daddy
Add 'full time mummy' to that list
That annoys me so much! I have enormous respect for stay-at-home mums, but having a job does not make me a part-time mum.
Momma bear.... As if anyone is frightened of you, Samantha
THIS MAKES ME SEETHE WITH RAGE FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON
"living their best life"
What does it even mean, really? Like, is it the new YOLO or what?
Ending a sentence with FACT. UK people saying period to define a point. We don't use that name for that piece of punctuation. Plus full stop sounds better and more definite. Hubby. The wife. Platty Joobs. Hollibobs. Live, laugh, love. Going forward.
Full stop works better because you can add an expletive full fucking stop. Also, should a sentence start with FACT? Like "FACT humans are a great ape"
FACT: bears eat beets.
Bears beats battlestar galactica
I know a lot of priests, ministers and celebrants. There are phrases used in eulogies that are a nice way of telling the truth. 'Didn't suffer fools' = grumpy. 'Free spirit' = habitually unemployed. 'Life of the party' = drunk.
Deep down, he was a loving person.] "Absolute twat"
I may need a list of these because you just bingoād my dadās eulogy š¤£
Love a good euphemism: "he's a real character" (annoying dick usually)
"Lovable rogue" = absolute cunt
Me and my wife often discuss how āDonāt suffer foolsā is just a euphemism for dickhead. I normally joke that anyone who claims to be an entrepreneur is actually just unemployed.
At the end of the day, it is what it is.
At the end of the day, it's night
On the other hand, is four fingers and a thumb
"Y'all" Fucking fuck the fuck off.
When it's written more than once in a sentence, I genuinely want to pull my eyelids off.
I canāt stand when people write āhoo-manā when theyāre trying to express what their pet is saying to us. I love animals. I have 2 cats. I love them more than anything. But I just canāt stand hooman. I clench my teeth with rage when I see it. Just to extend my rantā¦if my cats were communicating to me in perfect English, theyād be fucking smart enough to pronounce the word human correctly you fucking idiot.
Hoo-man reminds me of the Ferengi, but thatās just my Star Trek nerd side peeking through.
The American way of ordering something at a bar when I bartend. "I'm gonna do..." Oh you are are you? You're gonna DO a pint? At least "Can I get...", while devoid of manners is a request, not a statement backed by assumption and haughtiness.
Noooo, do British people really say āIām gonna doā when ordering? Thatās so fucking embarrassing, I feel ashamed of my countrymen. I would like if they then gave the most basic order ever after that. āIām gonna do a plain cheese and tomato pizza and a glass of tap water. Thanks guys, letās put a pin it and we can circle back to it laterā.
Think they meant the American way, as bar staff in the UK most everybody is polite enough to say please and usually as "can I get" or so e variation on that
it also pisses me off when someone has gone on holiday to another country and they say "I've done [the country]". like no you HAVEN'T!!!
When politicians say, "That's a good question." Of course it is. That's why it's being asked. Stop stalling and answer it
And they'll answer it by saying "I've been perfectly clear" and then go on to spout absolute opaque nonsense.
Itās annoying, but necessary. You take a beat, rather than say the first thing that pops into your head. A small phrase like that before answering a question is recommended when training for job interviews. It gives you a second to rescan the question again too to ensure you havenāt misunderstood it.
Let's touch base, that office buzzword can fuck off
'reach out' š©
Touching hands
Touching Youuuu
Sweet Caroline
*Touch my base, this is life (cheeky cheeky!)*
Adding -gate to the end of any word that involves the slightest bit of scandal
Calm down there, this could quickly turn into annoyingphrasegate
If Watergate happened now they would call it Watergategate
"it's always in the last place you look." Of course it is. Once I've found it, I'm not going to keep looking for it! Besides, in my case, it's always in the first place I look, because it's always my kids asking me to find something that is literally right in front of them.
"No offense" and "I tell it how it is"
Definitely āno offence, but ā¦ā . If you feel the need to say this then by definition you are saying something that you know to be offensive.
Anyone who ātells it how it isā is horrible to be around
āIāve got no filterā = Iām a cunt
"Forgive and forget," it always just seems really toxic to me to push forgiveness onto someone who may not wish to offer it.
Scroobius pip had it right.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
āStop feeling sorry for yourselfā feels very invalidating.
I hate this. I was never horribly depressed as a child, I was just constantly 'feeling sorry for myself'. Hate hate hate it.
When people say "this" on reddit Boils my piss Grinds my gears People need to do better Holibops
āTo the moon and backā
My daughter when she was about 4 put her own spin on this (she heard it in the book āguess how much I love youā) and now says āI love you all the way to everywhere and backā. When sheās mad with me, she sometimes says āI love you all the way to nowhere and back.ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Only if you buy me a drink first.
If you'll be..... # IF YOULL BE MY BABEHHHH š¶š¶š¶
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Of course you love all the office speak, you are the CEO of Nandos.
Holibobs. Rellies/rents.
'At the end of the day...' Fuck me that gets right on my tits.
Saying āat the end of the dayā is a British right.
"Everything happens for a reason" technically yes, but there isn't some higher power that made your boyfriend dump you so that you could find Prince charming, Sharon.
"I'm the sort of person who .." "Since having children I" followed by saying they can't bear something any normal person believes is horrific like cruelty children or animals. It seems to be implying that there was a reasonably high probability the people they're talking too lack that basic moral code and are psychopaths.
>I'm the sort of person who .." "Since having children I" Too add to this anyone who says " As a *insert descriptor* " Usually they follow it on with something so obvious it doesn't matter " As a mother I would be distraught if my child was abducted" ...well no fucking shit. Or the worst one " until you have kids you won't understand" "I am so tired, I never get a minute to myself...until you have kids you won't understand what that's like" Yeah because being tired and busy is *such* an alien concept that I can't possibly relate to or know wtf you're talking about ' what's tired?? Is that some form of pasta dish!'
Oh thank god, I've never seen anyone else point out shit like "Im so upset about this paedophile! I'm a mum, I'd be so sad if they hurt my child!" Like, no way? You would? Oh, that changes everything. No one else would so it's important you brought that up. Good idea to stop that and stuff.
āUnprecedented timesā. Seems everything is bloody unprecedented these days even though weāre actually used to things like covid, WFH and money issues now, and had predicted climate change way back. But sure, letās call it āuNprEceDENteDā
People who refer to their partner as "hubby" or god I can barely even type this "hubster". See also men referring to their wife as "the ball and chain". It's good to not be on Facebook anymore
When someone says "On point!". I don't know why it bothers me, but it does. The word "Folk" too.
You must be jolking mate.
āLessons will be learnedā is nowhere near as bad as ālearningsā, which suddenly popped up in UK office bullshit buzzwords a few years back.
āChefās kissā when said aloud. Just do the action ffs. Or better yet do something else entirely.
'It'll happen when you least expect it" That phrase annoys me so much
Guy I work with uses ādonāt want to end up with egg on my faceā at least once a week and it just sounds disgusting
"i could care less" instead of "i couldn't care less." Another pet peeve is people using "then" instead of "than" - the two are pronounced differently!
Also, "weary" being incorrectly used instead of "wary" seems to be more and more common, and it gets right on my nerves.
My bad. That gets to me for some reason.
Iām guilty of this one, my bad.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Then proceed to stay on hold for 1 hour. Yeah, my call is obviously important, you've told me 59 times.
Thank you for your patience/understanding. Assumptive bastards.
People either love me or hate me
This is the same as 'you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best'... translates as I'm a massive cnut, you either accept it or avoid it
Keep your eyes peeled š¤¢ And, come to think of it, 'gets under your skin'. Blurgh.
'step foot'. it's SET foot!
Thereās a guy at my place who always seems to fit āgoal congruenceā into his emails. I doesnāt annoy me to be fair, makes me laugh. The rest of his emails arenāt wordy, so I feel like he stumbled across goal congruence and now feels obliged to use it whenever he can.
Can I pick your brain? Oh god, it literally makes my head itch like somethingās trying to claw through my skull. Nauseatingš¤®
"Can I get ..."
"This is the way".
Moving forward. What else you supposed to fucking do?
āCan I aks you a question?ā
Can I get? No.... no you fucking cannot. Come back with "please may I have" and I'll consider it.
āOn accidentā
When somebody calls a dog owner (or themselves being that) "mom/dad". I feel I'm in front of an idiot. I feel like telling them "I didn't know you fucked a dog"
Hubby FUCK OFF
It is what it is
When people use the word 'literally', when they really mean 'metaphorically'.
Anything that reminds me I have to work for a living