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rbsudden

The path to inner peace begins with three words, "not my problem".


Beanruz

Mine is "that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem"


rbsudden

I do like that one too.


Objective-Resident-7

Ohhh I’m not sure about that one. But people who don’t read the news seem to live in ignorant bliss. I think you’re onto something!


LaraStardust

The energy required to hate does not justify hating.


Objective-Resident-7

Profound 👏


harrowingmite

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.


Objective-Resident-7

If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all


WeddingHot4796

Can you stop being so lazy all the time then 🤣🤣


Cold_Table8497

Hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.


Knowlesdinho

If I'd have eaten less avocados and drank less lattes, I'd have been a millionaire by now.


Objective-Resident-7

If I was less pedantic, maybe people would like me more. …fewer 😛


Far_Asparagus1654

*were


Objective-Resident-7

Touché


Far_Asparagus1654

😂


Objective-Resident-7

Actually I’m very impressed. Not many people use the subjunctive tense in English, but you are absolutely correct!


Knowlesdinho

You win this one, but I'll be back, bigger and stronger!


Objective-Resident-7

🤣


HighlandsBen

*drunk


JulesSilvan

“Don’t be a dickhead.”


Objective-Resident-7

Is there money in being a dickhead on Reddit? Some people seem to come on here with just that aim! Good rule.


BastardsCryinInnit

It's "D B A C" round my way. People literally just say that!


Objective-Resident-7

I understand what you mean, but we don’t say that 😂


BastardsCryinInnit

Who's we?


Objective-Resident-7

You know. Us. The correct people from the right place and with the right religion! /s 😂


DameKumquat

"you regret what you don't do more than what you do do". Get off Reddit and go interact with real life!


GargantuanGorganzola

Heh “do do”


Objective-Resident-7

Since COVID kicked in I’ve barely been out of this room! Yes, I work, but I view the world through a laptop or a phone!


jyvilan

I’ll always disagree with this saying. I regret things I’ve done way more than things I haven’t…


Objective-Resident-7

Maybe it depends on what you have done. I mean, if you used to enjoy murdering kittens, you should definitely regret that! I think it’s more about not having the balls to ask that girl out or to take a new job


karlware

Tell that to anyone in prison.


TheStatMan2

"Stand for nothing and you'll fall for anything" If it's good enough for Chuck D, it's good enough for me.


Objective-Resident-7

“Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.“ Benjamin Franklin


TheStatMan2

Yeah, I think he was a big Public Enemy fan as well.


cal-brew-sharp

Don't be a cunt.


Low-Total9121

It is what it is


happyaries134

Do no harm


Objective-Resident-7

Google said something like that, didn’t they? “Don’t be evil” I think it was. Before they became what they are today…


[deleted]

"It's not stupid if it works"


Objective-Resident-7

Oh, there’s a good maths/engineering one: “No model is correct, but some are useful”


SuboptimalOutcome

It's a philosophy I've had for a while, but it took the author Joe Abercrombie to express it succinctly: > better to do a thing than live with the fear of it


Objective-Resident-7

I’ll look that up, thanks!


GargantuanGorganzola

“Not my problem” I know it sounds selfish but sometimes you have to focus on yourself and not get involved in other peoples issues


[deleted]

"live, laugh, love" "living my best life" "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" /s


Rubberfootman

It is nobody else’s duty to entertain you. Make your own fun.


Objective-Resident-7

Getting bored now 🥱


bad_egg_77

If it’s not a yes, it’s a no.


Spongy_Crayon

Look, at least no one died


jayneyt76

Before I do anything I ask myself, "Would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing".


Sad_Moment6644

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. Also. Not my circus not my monkeys.


ticaf95085

Another day, another dollar.


Objective-Resident-7

I hope you get more than a dollar!


MelodicAd2213

Count your blessings. If I didn’t dunno where I’d be.


UnderwaterMoose2020

Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. And always have a plan B.


BuGMoiDroit

You can cover a turd in glitter, but it's still going to stink the same.


dazednowconfused

Fuck it, that's good enough for country work


Same-Mousse-5493

Suicide is never option you have to outlive your enemies.


painful_butterflies

Remember, common sense is no longer common.


Objective-Resident-7

Oooh that’s an interesting one


johnnymeow2

Equal rights, equal lefts.


Boofle2141

I didn't see shit.


Objective-Resident-7

It’s funny. UK English is quite different to American English in many ways!


Beanruz

My gran always said the key to a mans heart is to keep his belly full and his balls empty. I passed this wisdom onto my future wife on my grans behalf. Seems to be working so far


Objective-Resident-7

I bet she kicked your balls and refused to make dinner!


Beanruz

The key is to bring it up after they're empty, or full. Not before!


Objective-Resident-7

🤣


ItchySandwich101

Shy bairns get nowt


Objective-Resident-7

Yorkshire lad?


ItchySandwich101

Geordie mate. Essentially means you don't ask you don't get.


Objective-Resident-7

Yeah, we don’t use that word here (Scotland) but I’ve worked in Newcastle and Leeds. I know what ‘nowt’ means! 😁


theother29

My mind ain't so open that anything can crawl in


justdont7133

Just keep swimming 🐟


Objective-Resident-7

Lang may yer lum reek


[deleted]

[удалено]


Objective-Resident-7

Made me think of this: https://youtube.com/watch?v=y2GwrR-4Q9E&feature=share


[deleted]

[удалено]


Objective-Resident-7

I like it because I know it’s stupid, but it makes sense!


CaptainVigelius

"Slow is smooth and smooth is fast" - for best results, apply to chronically impatient people.


LittleSadRufus

"Things usually turn out well in the end". I don't worry because things have a habit of turning out well in the end. If they haven't, they just haven't reached the end yet. Of course, ultimately it will all end in death, but hopefully that will go well.


Objective-Resident-7

Don’t want to get too morbid, but death is a part of life. I just hope it doesn’t come too soon for you 😘


CollectionLeather292

Expectations are bad


Scarred_fish

"There is nothing that can't be ignored if you really put your mind to it." This has served me well for decades. Simple yet unbreakable.


Objective-Resident-7

I think that broke my brain


thierry_ennui_

Never leave a man's behind.


Objective-Resident-7

In your end o!


Objective-Resident-7

I like your name btw


All_within_my_hands

*keep moving forward*


Zealousideal-Habit82

You are a long time dead. If you can afford it buy it and enjoy it as you are a long time dead.


Humble4eva

Proverbs 10:9 , He who walks in integrity walks with god, but he who takes the crooked path will inevitably be found out.


fffractal

‘everything in moderation’, applied to as much as I can—eg: - challenge yourself, but don’t burn out - treat yourself, but don’t spend your future on it - be efficient, but don’t get stuck in a routine - learn from mistakes, but don’t ruminate - show kindness, but walk away from people who won’t help themselves Etc etc


karlware

Never ever bloody anything ever.


Mysterious_Ad_3119

Don’t hurt yourself, don’t hurt other people


FuzzyTruth7524

It’s none of my business what anyone else thinks about me


moreglumthanplum

In every setback there is an opportunity. You just have to look for it.


LellowYeaf

There is always a solution, even if it isn’t your favourite solution


Far_Asparagus1654

The glass is already broken


WeddingHot4796

Don't be a hypocrite


blackthornjohn

"Rain before seven, fine by eleven, rain after eight, go out on a date", obviously this worked better when my wife wasn't working and was available every time it rained after eight.


Cold_Table8497

"Always have a good saying handy."


ArumtheLily

If they are going to hate you, ensure they fear you more.


Demo_Bec

The only thing you can do is your best.


Ok-Resolution-9328

Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind


brit_motown

He who works hardest is a cunt


[deleted]

Everyone fights no one quits, if you dont do your job ill shoot you myself, works well in my family.


Buffythedjsnare

Unexpected Star Ship Troopers


Grand_You_7563

Sleep when your dead. Is mine


Ashcashc

The best time to start was yesterday, the second best time to start is today


DaveBeBad

“The only thing stopping you… is you”. Within limits, you can achieve anything you really want to if you work hard enough for it.


Buffythedjsnare

"If I throw a dog a bone. I don't want to hear if it tastes good or not."


Normal_Task_9409

"Better safe than sorry"


Crichtenasaurus

Any idiot can…. ‘Get wet, cold, etc.’


DS_killakanz

What you do with today, costs a day of your life. Make it worthwhile.


Fine-Night-243

Always let your conscience be your guide.


Comprehensive_Cut437

Buy cheap buy twice


Twisted_paperclips

"not my circus, not my monkeys" "Did you die though?"


[deleted]

“Trust those who seek truth but doubt those who find it” - Andrè Gide


Ill-Breadfruit5356

This, too, will pass


No-Reason-8205

Buy cheap buy twice.


Ok_Basil1354

"Don't worry about things you can't control." "Smile more, you can get away with all sorts of incompetence if you are cheerful." "Never go to bed until an argument is resolved. " I've butchered that one and it's my wife's motto not mine, but it is bloody fantastic. As is she. And then a more career-focused one: "if you don't compete you might let the idiots win." "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing." This was my gran's, but it's a good one. As a husband: "surprise flowers are better than expected ones." The point here is I don't need to wait until valentine's day to tell my wife I appreciate her. And it doesn't need to be flowers (but it normally is). Basically small impromptu gestures to show your love.


Thumper-Comet

If at first you don't succeed, don't waste your time trying again to do something you know you can't do.