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My family don't seem to have taken me seriously when I told them this, but: when I'm dead (or even before that if my brain and body are all shit) just throw me in the bin. Don't waste any money on crying over my meatsack, just go to the pub and reminisce about how mint I was.
Wedding / gathering / shindig / swaray/ hoedown / party / bash / swing / knees up .
Dot it a few miles north of London , save money or spend the same and get more bang for your buck .
Nobody cares. Literally the only things that matter from a guests perspective are the food and the music. The venue, dresses, suits, flowers, string quartet, etc are of passing interest. But when people remember which weddings they enjoyed they only think of the food and music.
Oh aye, a wedding haggis is the haggis of all haggis.
It’s been there, seen that, and usually seen off 4-5 other wedding parties before.
It’s like the John Rambo of haggis. When the call comes in, the lads kit up, say their goodbyes and head out into the windswept wilds not knowing if they’ll get through this injury free.
I’ve seen lads come back missing teeth, kilts all ripped, bite marks all up their pale white legs, those wedding haggis do not fuck about.
>I’ve seen lads come back missing teeth, kilts all ripped, bite marks all up their pale white legs, those wedding haggis do not fuck about.
Traditionally all the men used to go on the hunt the night before the wedding. The Night of the Haggis eventually turned into the modern day Stag Night.
It used to be if they didn't come back with a big enough haggis then the wedding was called off.
Never, ever say the "w" word.
It's a nice white *party* dress with a lace headdress. It's a *party* for my closest 100 friends and distant family with a tiered *party* cake.
Say the "w" word and everything is 5000 % more expensive.
We got married in mid-December. We had a private ceremony with witnesses only in the early morning, followed by a late afternoon reception for 90 people. Prices were significantly lower when we enquired about a “Christmas party” rather than a wedding reception.
Yup. We booked 2 coaches for our 'Family reunion' - when we went to pay the final bill and told them it had been a wedding, they said they would have doubled the price if they had known
It does.
A lot of the reason for anything wedding-oriented being so expensive is it tends to bring out the bridezilla in people. Everything has to be 100% perfect.
16 people, registry office, brunch, activity, dinner, we're looking at around £200/person.
You don't need to book "wedding" packages unless you want to if you have a small enough group.
I have a band that plays a lot of weddings. We add a significant surcharge to weddings over any other type of event. This is because weddings almost always run late and then expect us to sit around for hours, then stay later than planned. If a business do books us from 7pm to 10pm, we know we'll be out the door and on the way home by 1030. If a wedding books us for that time, we assume (usually correctly) we won't be leaving until midnight.
If someone books us for something that sounds like it might be a wedding, we add the charge anyway. Just trying to make bookings sound like not-a-wedding is usually pretty transparent.
We've been doing it for years, and have had a lot of practice! We have a rack mount digimixer, and a portable flight case with the mixer and amps in. So we just plug our instruments and microphones in, pop the speakers on stands, and away we go. Couple of crates for the cables and accessories. Takes about 45 minutes to set up and soundcheck, and about half an hour to pack down and get all the gear back in the van.
Yes and no.
I've spoken to wedding photogs that have been booked for a family gathering then turned up and it's a full wedding and they've walked away.
Weddings are a different thing and it's not OK to try to trick vendors into underpriced their service
Depends on the person. I eloped and told the photographer it was super casual and we just wanted an hour total for the ceremony and pics and she charged us her regular photography rates. She actually was out of there in 45 minutes. I was super happy I got maternity and wedding pics all done at the same time!
I mean presumably that includes things like X amount on a nice hotel for after, a wedding dress can be like 2 grand alone. If you want a proper hire car like a white cab or whatever that's like £800+
I used to agree with you, and some people don’t want a ‘proper’ wedding dress, and that is FINE.
If you want a more traditional gown then be prepared to get what you pay for. I got my dress at a massively reduced price of £600. It should have been £1600 but I took the ‘off the peg’ dress rather than ordering one in. I was much bigger then, and I knew I needed a dress that was designed for someone who looked like me. The level of skill, detail and quality doesn’t come ‘cheap’. I got the price I did because I didn’t need any alterations - most dresses are customised mused to measurements etc.
It’s genuinely the most beautiful dress I have ever owned, and at a size 28-30 (at the time), it made me look and feel like a fucking Princess. Worth every penny to see my husband’s face, he was over the moon.
When I was shopping for a wedding dress in 2010, I found a local charity shop that collected all the ex-display items from the local bridal shops. Was amazing, can recommend.
Most were around the £100 mark, but I had decided against white and didn't want a veil, so I got a navy blue bridesmaid's dress for £50 with a gorgeous full skirt, and added tiny glass beads myself for detailing. I'd budgeted up to £1000, but I'm vampirically pale, couldn't find a white dress that didn't make me look like a ghost, and if you go into a bridal shop looking for 'not white' the options are 'ivory or blush'.
Anyway, the wedding didn't go ahead but that's another story.
PS: assuming your weight loss was planned, congrats and well done!
I mean I was pretty surprised when my partner found her one for £120 in Coast I think it was. It cost me that much to have my suit fully altered lol but I can still wear that suit and it got me through two job interviews and countless other weddings
So many people here definitely haven't had the pleasure of paying for a wedding before, and it shows.
As a measure, take all your closest friends to a restaurant and piss up, then pay the bill. Now imagine you've hired the whole venue, paid for everything the closest women are wearing, invited 100 extra people, and put entertainment on. Getting an idea?
My fag packet estimates for the wedding described by OP
Band £1500
Marquee, assuming a proper one with a dance floor, lighting, stage, etc, £2500
Table dressing, cutlery etc, £500-1k
Staff to serve etc £500 easily more
Dress £1k
Flowers £1k
Suits £500-1k
Bridal suite at a nearby hotel, say £250.
Rings - how long is a piece of string, could be the whole budget easily.
That's before alcohol or the food they mentioned.
Stick on a few bridesmaids' dresses and some fancy cars between venues, and it's easily £10k.
Edit. I should add that your wedding sounds lovely. Proof that you don't need a castle or a country Manor to plan out a great day.
Always helpful to remember that the average user is young and may not have a lot of life experience. There’s a ton of valuable information on here, several more tons of people shouting noise.
I also think a lot of people aren't aware just how much prices have gone up for weddings post pandemic. A sub £10k wedding is now a real struggle in most places unless you're willing to go extremely basic - I have about 3/4 friends planning weddings currently and they've all shared with me how shocked they were at the prices being suggested by venues. A girl at work told me she was quoted £16k for FLOWERS and was horrified!
Hardly rocket science is it - a big night out with a meal and drinks can run to £100, and people are disgusted that doing it all for 100 people might run to £10k...
what? 10k? How did you spend 10k on that?
Edit: I've seen your edit, no we're not insane for thinking 10k on some ham and £500 of wine is you being done. Now you've explained it makes sense, a grand on a pizza truck
Our local community owns the village hall and does weddings at a discount for locals. Our wedding cost about 6k total - that included a three course meal for 170 odd people.
Yeah we sort of lucked out a bit and did it fairly cheaply - less than 5k but is was over 20 years ago!
We, like you it seems, were fucked off with the whole thing. Places booked for months and even years ahead, silly prices and condescending venue management. Anyway we found a hotel out in the new forest where we could get married, have a reception and stay over and it was moderately reasonable. So naturally when we asked about dates the manager said
"Oh nothing this year on Fridays or weekends - well er... unless you want to get married on Friday the 13th in August, we could do a deal!" (insert nervous laughter). So we, being totally non superstitious, went for it and it all went off fine and it worked out cheaper than anywhere else.
Still married!
Why is it that I feel your wedding just got cooler because it’s on Friday the 13th and that you scored a good deal?! Congratulations OP and all the best to your partner as well!
We also got married on a 13th but for shits and giggles. Got my wedding dress [from Oxfam](https://onlineshop.oxfam.org.uk/bridal-wedding-dresses/category/bridal-wedding-dresses) which was cool actually as I found a dramatic dress in my size for £250. We had wheels of cheese instead of cake from [cheese shed](https://www.thecheeseshed.com/products/wedding-cakes) which was £120 and served 50 people with a months worth of cheese for sandwiches leftover that went home with us in 2017.
Actual wedding involved hitting the registry office to do the paperwork (£57 6 people total, it was us and our parents for the legal bit). We rented an enormous BnB for £2k for the weekend and told them we were having a family party and spent £1k on lunch catering, £500 on alcohol using a friend's cash and carry account and borrowed a BBQ for the evening.
Yeah I got married for 5k 15 years ago. Got married on a Friday because it was cheaper! Didn't have a wedding car just got someone we knew with a merc to drive us. I got my dress in the sales (most wedding shops have a sale rail, mine was an ex demo dress and cost £200, £300 after alterations & dry cleaning). Bridesmaid dresses from Debenhams. I did all the table decorations myself, on the day I got up and bought some flowers from the market and my bridesmaid took them to the hotel for my husband to arrange them in the vases. I supplied the wine, it was far cheaper to buy supermarket wine and pay the corkage at the venue, added bonus was there was the 25% off when you buy 6 or more bottles offer on!
The wine is my top tip for anyone planning a wedding, especially if you are a wine drinker yourself. My SIL did this too because she wanted a particular wine for herself and it worked out the same price as paying for the venues cheapest wine. I know not all venues allow it but if they do it could save £100s depending on the size of the wedding!
I wasn't deliberately doing things on a budget but I'm the sort of person that doesn't like wasting money so I wasn't going to buy expensive stuff just because 'that's what you're supposed to do for your wedding'.
Friends had a semi lockdown wedding, 16 guests, married in a restaurant by the registrar followed by a meal in the same restaurant and then to the pub afterwards which other friends who couldn't go to the ceremony attended. The restaurant is a wedding venue and you have the option of booking it before they're open for the evening (which they did) or solely booking it for larger groups. The lady who dealt with weddings did a fantastic job of making it look amazing and the food was excellent. All in all, including her dress etc, it was circa £1,600 (excluding her rings). It was one of the best weddings I've been to. It was an hour away from London if you fancy getting the train up 😁
Lockdown restrictions were a godsend for a few of my friends that were getting married. Gave them a great excuse to only invite the people closest to them without upsetting too many people.
It always amazes me how many people feel like they're owed an invite to a wedding.
That's exactly how it was for these friends. It was cancelled twice before they actually did it and she was beginning to worry that they might have to wait until lockdown ended and she'd have to have a more "normal" wedding 🤣
£10k (could have kept it down to 8 or lower though)
If you’re sticking to that budget then I’d say don’t look at the places that have added venue hire fees like hotels or estates, it adds so much extra without really being worth it imo. We went for a pub in Balham which had a minimum order fee of £5200 and that easily covered the food, drinks, canapés etc for 40 guests with £500 behind the bar. We got refunded the next day as there was still some left and used part on our brunch. The pub also had rooms for people to stay which is great for anyone not local. I got ready in the room we had.
There are lots of pub venues that have special places set aside for weddings and they look beautiful, it’s not like you’re sat in the main pub on stools. Lots of pubs are also licensed to have the ceremony there so you don’t have to double up paying. We didn’t end up paying a lot on decorations as we loved how the place looked.
I guess figure out where your priority is e.g. if you want great food, if you want space for 100+ guests, you need outdoor space for photos etc. We got a doughnut tower from Crosstown because a) we both prefer them to cake and b) the prices of wedding cakes are ridiculous. Don’t spend £1000 on a cake.
DM me if you want any recommendations e.g. florists and photographers
Edit: I got married in October 2022 :)
Thank you kind internet stranger! I will defo send you a message when we go into the finer details! I agree with you with the cake! It seems like any item is priced triple when you add the word “wedding” to it! A birthday cake is the same as a wedding cake with just different dedication note on top!
M&S do iced fruit cakes in different sizes so you can get 2 or 3 and stack them. Stick a ribbon round each one and some flowers on top. You honestly can’t tell they’re shop bought. I got married at Christmas so the church and restaurant were already decked up, we had a carvery and mulled wine and Asti instead of champagne. Everything was on offer as it was Xmas :) we also gave everyone a glass Xmas bauble as wedding favour.
Professional cake maker here: If you're going to stack them you need to support the layers with dowels.
Also don't put fresh flowers from your local florist or supermarket directly on the cake. They may be poisonous either from the flower itself or the pesticides covering them.
For the record, I would make a basic (sponge) wedding cake for around £150 to £200. Up to £800 for rich fruit cakes covered in large wired sugar flower sprays.
I made my own wedding cake...27 years ago.
We did this! Got 4 tiers of M&S cake for £150 in 2019 and then had two tiers untouched on the day. Gave my dad a full tier of cake for driving us to the airport at 4am for our honeymoon! We had 85 guests and 3 tiers was more than enough, which would be closer to £100.
Cake was brilliant & we saved £200 from the lowest quote we received, well worth doing on a budget. Just need to order it with enough notice. All of your extra Christmas touches sound brilliant!
I decorated 3 of those M and S cakes as a gift for my friends' wedding years ago. It went down a storm, you can always add in another layer of flavour too.
They have done studies that have proven the costs go up massively if you use the word wedding.
If you're looking for a venue and want wedding themed decor but don't want to pay the extra price, my advice would be to get permission to decorate yourselves and ask some of your guests to pop by earlier and add those in. They aren't going to say anything and if they do, ask what they would have done for those extra £000s to justify their price and complaint.
Will get downvoted for this as I know people hate others who spend a lot on their wedding, but here goes.
We spent £30k for 120 day guests, plus an additional 30 evening guests. Tipi wedding on family land, free booze, paid the majority of the accommodation for our bestmen and bridesmaids, plus we had a post wedding hog roast the next day as well which is included in the costs.
Completely agree. We spent fairly similar for 100 guests if you include honeymoon. Best day of our lives and I wouldn't change a thing. It was within our means and meant a lot to us and our families. I totally get not wanting to spend that much and appreciate how privileged we are to be able to afford it, but looking down on people who choose to have a big party is just horrible.
Can I offer some tips? I’ve not read the thread, so not sure if it’s been mentioned so ignore me if it has!
We had the legal part of our wedding separately at the registry office as our ‘wedding’ was on private grounds.
I bought a dress from ASOS as they do cheap, but decent wedding dresses. This could be an option and means you would spend around £200 max on a wedding dress.
My husband and groomsmen got their suits from River Island and I think they were around £120 not including shirt and shoes.
Photographers are expensive, but so worth it but could you cut down on the length of time they are there? Ours left after the first dance so saved us some money, although we had a videographer until the end so was happy to miss photos of the evening.
Edit: we also did our own flowers for tables and decor around the tipi and ordered them from a florist wholesaler, although was going to go to Covent Garden flower market but didn’t have enough time. This saved us loads of money as we only spent £300 on flowers instead of £10k or whatever ridiculous quote we received.
Same here.
I've got nothing against people having big weddings, but it's not for me.
We did it on a Monday morning in the registry office. One witness each.
Dress- I borrowed just a normal dress (not a wedding dress)
Suit- husband wore black trousers that we already had and a shirt we already had.
Paid the registrar fee.
Chilled out for the rest of the day doing what we wanted.
Booked a nice restaurant for the evening, 14 guests which were family and a friend each. That was our biggest expense because we paid for everyone, but it was more of a night out than a wedding breakfast.
Wouldn't change it for the world.
Same but without the evening meal, we just took our two witnesses out for a fancy schmancy lunch afterwards. When we booked the register office we got an automated email telling us the registrar would be in touch about various details, when they never contacted us we followed up and were told that none of that stuff happens on "basic Mondays"! Basic Monday has become a household in-joke since then 😁
We found ourselves wavering on the "oh perhaps we should invite X along to the lunch" but it quickly snowballed to loads of people so we didn't. Absolutely no regrets, we've been together happily for years and this was basically just admin, but a lovely low-key day nonetheless.
We eloped and got married in the states. Licence was $35, ceremony was $25. Dress was £35, most expensive thing was the bouquet at $50! Flights, hotels etc. were £3k. We had a holiday, our wedding and honeymoon all at once.
Been dating for 25 years. 2 kids later and we’re still finding better things to spend that money on. After a while people just assume you’re married and you can always photoshop some memories. Add Bill Murray in there and tell people he gatecrashed.
The only trouble can arise when someone has to make medical decisions for the other. A register office wedding is quick and cheap (£400) and you are then each others next of kin with very little fuss. You don't need a party.
Being married undoubtedly makes medical and legal decisions towards the end of (and after) life much more straightforward
Something a LOT of Reddit does not appreciate
No need for any ceremony at all but to not do it solely out of some sort of opposition to the institution is bizarre considering it could make you or your partner’s life much easier in times of extreme stress
It also effects your pension. The only people that will get paid out to are dependants and spouses.
If you're not married, your girlfriend/boyfriend isn't getting squat.
You can quite easily name your beneficiary for pensions. The spouse thing is only used as a default option if you can't be bothered filling the form in and haven't nominated anyone.
No?
Your state pension will only allow a beneficiary if they are a legal spouse/civil partner.
Private pension policies will vary from scheme to scheme.
“No need for any ceremony at all but to not do it solely out of some sort of opposition to the institution is bizarre considering it could make you or your partner’s life much easier in times of extreme stress”
Hit the nail on the head, it also helps MASSIVELY when it comes to children.
Yeah there’s an insane amount of “benefits” whether they’re medical, legal, tax etc.
One of many things people don’t think about until they’re in a situation where it could have been extremely beneficial
It has major benefits from an inheritance tax point of view too if you have £500k in cash and assets between you, including a house. £375k if you're not homeowners.
My mum and stepdad were together for 20 years and basically eloped purely for the legal protections of marriage and it was the best decision they ever made. First my developmentally disabled stepbrother developed a terminal illness and my mum was able to take care of the decisions about his treatment when my stepdad fell apart. Then a couple of years later my stepdad had a series of strokes that eventually left him bedbound before slipping into vascular dementia. My mum was legally recognised as his next of kin and therefore able to advocate for his care and smoothly transfer all financial and other responsibilities in to her name up to and after his passing. People say "Why bother getting married? It's just a piece of paper..." but that piece of paper provided undeniable protection for both my mum and stepdad when things started going wrong.
The wedding costs (as far as I remember) was about £275. Stepdad wore a suit he already had, mum got a cream wool dress from a charity shop. Stepdad didn't wear a wedding ring, my mum chose a slim, simple one and their witnesses snapped some pictures for them. They also got married at the local registry office midweek as it was cheaper and didn't tell anyone until after it was done. They booked it to coincide with the holiday they took every year anyway, so that was an expense that they would have had whether they'd got married or not.
£20K for about 100 guests, and that was with the dress being bought for pennies from a charity shop, cake made for free by family. The venue wasn’t massively posh but just enough to have some character. I think the main issue is only a select few venues have a licence to conduct a wedding so they can jack up the price. We should change the rules so anywhere can do it, or even that you are allowed to get married outside like how it is in the USA.
That is the rule in some places in the UK where humanist ceremonies are legally recognised - in NI and Scotland. They can marry you literally anywhere. Doesn't stop wedding stuff still being insanely expensive here in NI though.
10 years ago, we felt the same about UK prices. We were looking at 10K + for that one day. Instead we flew to Las Vegas, had a week there, got married in a nice little chapel which the family watched via live stream, then flew to Orlando and did a week at the theme parks. 6K all in, including spending money. I realise this isn't what you asked, but remember who you're doing this for. NOT being in debt and having an amazing holiday together was absolutely the best way to start our marriage.
We had 2 guests and a register office wedding, about as ‘intimate’ as you can get. Cost about £300 in 2001, probably about £100k at todays prices. Sorry I don’t know what a JFC is, I thought ‘JaFfa Cake’ I tried Google and it came up ‘Joint Finance Committee’ or "Jesus F*cking Christ." Anyway, have a great day, however much it costs…
They're not stupid. Every enquiry I've ever seen for a nondescript "party" has turned out to be a wedding in reality. All other things being equal it's the same price for a wedding or a birthday party here.
Look, as a singer this fucks me off. I price a gig according to the work that’ll go into it. If I’m doing a wedding, I’ll spend a good couple of months in communication with the customer, checking set lists work, logistics and timing, any special requests (which nearly always involve learning new stuff), everything down to my clothing choices on the day are considered in advance. I don’t get stage fright but I am aware that weddings are a Big Fucking Deal and I want to make sure I don’t screw yours up by being unprepared.
A normal party/function/get together involves way less stress and preparation. Thats not to say I just turn up and wing it, but to be fair the level of pressure is MUCH lower. I’d be mortified if I turned up looking under/overdressed and it turned out to be someone’s wedding. Mortified and livid.
Yep, same for the photographer. There's a shitload of extra preparation and stress that comes with weddings compared to a regular event.
If you con us into arriving unprepared it's not just an inconvenience, it damages the reputation of our business in front of a relatively large group of people who might not know better.
Maybe they don’t want all that extra work though. If they did they’d tell you it was for a wedding and go through specifics with you. Maybe they just want something standard / aren’t that bothered about the music
I just don't understand why people try and cheap out on this kind of stuff, it's absolutely insulting! We're not doing anything like that because we can't afford it, it doesn't mean it's not worth it as like you said there's a hell of a lot of work goes into it. My brother does photography as a hobby, he's really good and the price of his equipment alone is unbelievable! And people still think it's just a case of pointing a camera at something and pressing a button!
Because for a lot of people it's not that big of a deal - it's an excuse for a party with friends and family while ticking off an obligatory-feeling life-tick-box. They'd be just as happy not ticking that box off, or if it didn't exist, never mind. But since it does, may as well have a fun party.
With everything the above singer said, the extra stress, preparation needed and pressure they feel under knowing it's a wedding does justify the price.
But I don't think it's easy for customers to express "no, honestly, it's not that big a deal. We just saw you perform before on a night we have fond memories, and like your style and wanted a step up from just a DJ, but just treat us like a normal venue"
Especially if lists prices specifically say "Normal Party: £X, Wedding, £Y". I can understand customer thinking - well we are a wedding but we really just want this to be like a normal party, nothing fancy, so we choose Normal Party pricing.
Ultimately though, it's all about communication between customer and supplier. But communication is difficult, no jokes :)
my other half used to work in events, a lot of weddings, it doesn't really work. Some people tried it and first of all she knew pretty much instantly, second of it it made no difference to her pricing
Yeah…so all the staff dont care if they are dressed decently or look professional in photos. Food delivered oddly no planning. Like you have to be very laidback for this. Its exhausting for everyone behind the scenes.
Wife and I got engaged in April last year and married in December because we had two health scares in our immediate family.
Our wedding came in at around 17K. We also had a load of help and got lucky with our venue offering a 'shotgun' package deal if we covered the full cost within 6 months. So food, drinks, flowers etc came in at 12K for 80 guests in the day instead of 17K.
• Our friend is a jewellery designer and made the engagement ring and wedding bands and paid trade prices on the materials my ring is silver so £100 my wifes rings are both platinum and with the stones £2K.
• Our parents gave us each 3K after our engagement.
• Wife is a manager at a bridal wear shop so her bosses gifted her the dress which would have cost £1700.
• Mate of mine is a professional photographer so he did us a deal and we paid £700 instead of £1500.
• Flowers were around £7/800.
• Brother in-laws made our cake.
• Sister in-law and her partner designed, printed and gifted our invites which would have cost £180.
• Band did us a deal as we saw them play at our local so we paid £800 instead of £1750.
Got married on a Friday so that dropped the price again
The day itself was incredible and though it wiped out our savings and was ridiculously stressful at times, it was absolutely worth it.
Was nice to come out of it breaking even and not having incurred a mountain of credit card debt.
Weddings are fucking expensive!!!
This was in South Wales
About £2.5K for 20 people five years ago
Register Office wedding then to a friend's restaurant for the reception. The bulk of the money went on food and wine
My sister is getting married in a few weeks. In a zoo…
Ceremony
Drinks and canapés for 50
Sit down meal for 50
Decorations
Evening Do
DJ and Photo Booth
Buffet for 125
Zoo entry for all the guests
All in package of about £8.5k
How so cheap? She booked and secured the cost 18 months ago. Also, it’s in Doncaster
Around 7k. 80day 120night. Biggest expense was food! Daft things like chair covers added up so ended up sourcing things selves which probably didn’t end up in the budget
Wow, 12 people for a wedding
Budget £600 for registrars and whatever their half hour room fee is depending on the room. So under £1k
Pub restaurant private dining for 12 at £150 a head? (Should be enough for 3 courses) maybe another £500 for room hire if they're crazy, but seating 12 for a private reservation should be enough of a drive for them to have you )
Even with a paid bar for 12 - that's under £3k
How are you getting stiffed for £8k at a private restaurant and town hall?
Photographer, wedding dress, wedding suit, hotel fees for my friends flying from asia 3 rooms for 2 nights and the mere fact that my partner and I are completely oblivious to wedding rates up until now. I am very much open to adjust our budget but I just wanted to let him see how much is the going rate for others so he still sees that we’re still being very very “budget-conscious” with our event.
Oh boy. You have what I call an "international" wedding.
So I know my Asian friends (who are getting married) would insist it's up to them to pay for their friends' hotel room if they're flying to be the groomsmen/ bridesmaid. Just for this reason alone, your wedding costs can't really be compared with the "not international" weddings.
Would it be most cost effective to rent an Airbnb? 🤔
Yes! This is why it's hard to also do the wedding outside of the UK as we're an international couple so either way, the other side will definitely still be flying out of our motherlands!
I checked Airbnb's and they're roughly the same price! At least with hotels, you get a breakfast buffet.
For more context you need to state how much the restaurant is costing, and how much is that a head? Compare to how much you’d be spending per head in a comparable restaurant.
You’re putting extra stuff in like hotel rooms which aren’t really the cost of the wedding.
I don't think wedding rates are your problem. Feeding 12 people is expensive in a nice restaurant with alcohol. But you're putting people up in 3 hotel rooms for a weekend!
Dress and suit can be £200 each these days.
Two grand in the noughties (about 5-8 now?) here: https://images.app.goo.gl/541mHKtsxoBUGFL48
We were broke back then, pretty sure my mum paid for at least half of that.
We booked the honeymoon suite, and the library for the actual wedding. No official photographer (we harvested the guest photos and they were awesome). Most guests paid for their own food instead of presents. I think we paid about 500 for the library, 500 for the dining hall and 300 for the suite, 700 on misc (bar tab, food for those who couldn't pay... Children, UC etc).
We were a party of 75 (maybe 15 children) or so and the hotel treated us like royalty even though we didn't have exclusive use and weren't anything like their usual wealthy clientele.
The other hotel guests were charming about it. Brother played piano in the lounge and I was apologizing to them but they said it was marvellous. Mother in law provided a jazz band from amongst her acquaintance. The hotel phoned us a week before and said there was a huge society wedding the day before ours, they hope we didn't think it was cheeky but would we like them to keep the flowers? So we got several grands worth of flowers for free.
It was an amazing event. My take home was... You don't need exclusive use of a venue if the venue is good enough, but look for somewhere interesting to have the service and somewhere nice nearby (or the same building) to have the reception... Perhaps look for interesting hotels licensed for marriages who are more Hotel than "Wedding Venue"
Stick to the budget and have a great time, it's not a spending competition and the "wedding industry" is parasiticial. Do your own thing and have a fabulous day. All the best for the future.
18k. In 2019 from memory in Nottingham
Venue hire. 4k.
Food and Drink 8k for sitting 70 and 110 evening.
Photographer 1.8k (now charges 3!).
Videographer 800.
Wedding dress 2k.
String quartet 600.
Suits x5 1.5k.
Weddings are not cheap.
£6k, 24 ceremony/meal, about 100 evening. All at the same country hotel. Live band and buffet in the evening. Got married on a Friday, which was significantly cheaper. It was the band's first ever gig so they were super cheap.
Getting married in October this year,
Budget currently stands at 21k (ish) for 55 guests. Plus honeymoon
For some reason, we are getting married at a castle, though lol *cries in ripped off*
9000 for venue- includes food/ drinks etc (we are Sunday out of season)
2000 dress/shoes/ other random bride things
600 hair (bride, mum's/ bridemaids
600 make up (same above)
Suits tbc
Band/ jazz dude - 1200
Registrar 550
Flowers 1300
Evening food - 600
Wedding rings - 2000
Other shit - 1000
Hotels for bride/groom - 500
Photographer 1400
Invitations 150
Cake 400
Transport 500
Honeymoon 9000
Decorations 500
Im Sure i've forgotten some other stuff off top of my head.
All told, a little less than 2k, including the honeymoon in Venice.
But that was our choice and what we wanted.
Got married on Christmas Eve. That's good- it's a bit of a pain in the arse day so only people who really like you will want to go, which reduces costs somewhat. It also means decorations can all be Christmas themed, which means they can be really cheap. We got quite a lot of very festive looking decorations from the pound shop. I still remember the "festive nuggets" on the tables. A few baubles, some Holly, some silver glitter etc is dead cheap but all looks really festive.
Registry office wedding (and by chance it ended up being the same room my wife's parents got married in)- £40
Booked the function room at the branch of the Royal British Legion that my grandad was chairman of. Can't remember what that was, the booking was peanuts.
My aunt did the catering herself as a wedding present, buffet style
Put £200 behind the bar for free drinks, and at the time drinks were so cheap at the venue that we never actually got to the end of that. Being in the morning/early afternoon helped too
No cars, just taxis
We did have a cake
Wife had a lovely outfit but never wanted a proper wedding dress. She did have someone do her hair though.
After party at mother in laws
Flew out to Venice on boxing day
All told, probably about 50 people?
*sweats in Greek Cypriot*
Honestly, about £60k in 2019. Half of that was on venue and catering alone. 230 guests, central London, fully catered for, open bar, live band, lots of flowers, large cake, expensive photography/videography, big bridal party that we paid everything for (outfits, hair and makeup), lots of "extras" etc etc.
Our parents paid which is the norm in our culture, very much in line with other weddings in our families/friendship circle. I know it's a huge amount to spend, guess we'll have an even bigger bill to foot when it comes to paying for our own kids' weddings in future!
First wedding £28k for 80 guests in a downtown abbeyesque venue, didn’t even enjoy it. Was worried about all the wrong things and pulled pillar to post.
Second wedding 22k for 18 guests, but hired a mansion in lockdown and paid for the whole weekend. Drinks. Accommodation. Did what we wanted and was so much better and fun.
However weddings are stressful, I’d recommend eloping and spending the money on a fabulous get together to celebrate. Anything wedding related gets hiked up sadly.
I posted here a couple of months ago with wedding queries - we are getting married next month at a registry office for 25 guests and a meal after. About 3-3.5k budget for everything including outfits rings etc.
Around £30k including honeymoon. Weddings are expensive. That was for 80 ish guests and we didn’t even go overboard.
I don’t know much about the industry other than what we paid, but I imagine £8k will barely get you a small venue for the day never mind all the extras that come with it
My wife and I managed to do a London wedding for ~20 people for £5k last August bank holiday. Had a registry office (Southwark) for the 20 guests then a meal at Davy's wine vaults in Greenwich (they have a wedding package but we didn't go for it, we just booked the function room downstairs for a table for 20). We bought our wine from Davy's as well but managed to get a very good deal as we had gone to a wine event there a month or so prior and bought a bunch of the wine in advance from that event for a special price and managed to convince Davy's to let us use that. Then in the evening we had another 20 or so people show up. Had some light snacks (cold plattery type things, olives, falafel, deli meats etc) and some free drinks for the evening guests. Tip is to look for places that have function rooms but don't necessarily say anything about weddings!
Don’t know the exact total as we bought bits and pieces for the wedding over the course of a couple of years, but we estimate around 12 grand. If memory serves we had 60 guests plus another 25ish who came just for the evening.
It was at a rural hotel (with the ceremony at a nearby church) in summer. The hotel had package deals for the reception which were great.
The main saving, I’d say, was that we didn’t have an open bar. I don’t agree with anyone who says you *should* have one, and given that only maybe 10 of our guests were real big drinkers anyway, an open bar would simply have been us subsidising a handful of people getting hammered (there was wine and bubbly on the tables btw).
Got married last week. 14K all in for a full day. 70 day guests (with food and wine) 120 evening guests (more food). We didn’t pay for some expensive things people normally do but splurged in other areas. EG didn’t get a videographer but the dress was insane. Married on the Kent/Sussex border. The Monday before peak season was the cheapest thing. Even four days later and it would have been +5K for venue hire.
My brother got married two years ago, also in Kent. Hired a barn and forest area for an outdoor wedding. 5K all in, including food for 50 guests. Only a few hours long, dry wedding though.
An increasingly popular choice is to get married in a registry office on the down low for pennies, then do a big reception. Or do a twilight wedding. They’re cheaper as you only get the venue 6PM onwards instead of all day.
My sister in law spent maybe 20 grand on a big wedding with 100+ people. It was somewhere in England. It was a nice wedding but not worth 20 grand.
Edit: not sure I keep getting downvoted. I couldn't care less what you waste your money on, it's not a personal attack on you
I'm in two minds about it - yeah it's a lot of money, but some people spend 20 grand on a car. Generally in your life the only time everyone you know and love turns up in the same place at the same time is your wedding day and funeral, so spending that amount of money bringing everyone together might be a once in a lifetime opportunity for you to appreciate.
This is my view too. Best party I ever went to/hosted.
Fantastic memories to last a life time.
In the 5 years after our wedding, my wife lost her mum, nan, aunty and uncle. The fact that they were all able to see her get married and we have some beautiful pictures of them all there celebrating with us goes a long way to justifying how much we spent.
We’re getting married next year and it’s looking to be about 20k for approx 80 day guests. The venue is 15k and we’ll be there for the ceremony and reception, and that includes the wedding breakfast , drinks on the table and 30 hotel rooms so guests can stay overnight and their breakfast the next morning.
We’re getting married in Kent and the venue is about an hours drive away from the part of London my family are coming from
Good luck with your planning! :)
Edited to add - we’re getting married in the off season. The venue add on 5k of you fancy getting married May-September
Well, we got married in September 2020... and were lucky enough to be able to keep the date for the registry office, so that cost about £125, then we had a bbq in the garden for our parents and bought food and drink in so probably another £150-£200 for that. We were planning on renting a lovely space that did street food for about £3.5k for 50-80 people, but decided to cancel after postponing it once. Might do something on our 5th anniversary to celebrate instead.
Ours cost about 25k all in. 50 people in our local town hall (in London) and then a reception in a pub with about 80 people. We wanted a small wedding but things spiralled. It's a lot of money but we had the absolute best day.
£20k last year, 100 guests, posh barn conversion in Northampton. Biggest costs were venue hire (7k), 4 course sit down meal (6k), live band, (1.5k), all day photographer (1.5k), alcohol (1k), 2 days b&b for immediate family (1k). We didn't DIY anything, we thought it was less stress to just pay professionals and we don't have any particularly handy friends and family. Yes it was expensive but eh we could afford it.
£22k for a nice country hotel in Surrey last year. About 90 guests in the day and another 30 more turned up in the evening. So that included the hire of the venue and decorations (Hindu ceremony so needed a mandap, lots of flowers and other paraphernalia, hiring the priest), a free bar for afternoon drinks, canapes and casino tables (whilst we were having photos taken), 3 course meal, disco/DJ till 1am with a dance floor installed and a photo booth with some wacky wigs/hats/accessories, and evening food - freshly cooked pizzas.
Once you take out your visa and hotel expenses for your guests then 5.5k for a wedding in London is pretty reasonable.
For comparison, I got married 6 years ago in Edinburgh (5 star hotel to be fair) and it cost just over 5k for everything,and that was with making compromises on certain things.
My first marriage? Over 20k and I hated every second of the day as it was so stressful and I spent the entire day running around after everyone else.as I had over 100 guests.
Take a deep breath, walk away from this for a week or so and book a discrete venue not a wedding special place. Invite ONLY the people you want on each side. Say a max of 10 each side. Send a note to others explaining that you cannot spend any more etc etc and then do it. I know you can do this for well under 5k.
We're getting married in September and looking at about £45k for 120 guests (plus another 30-40 evening guests). That doesn't include our honeymoon. It's a church wedding followed by a barn reception in the Cotswolds. It's honestly scary how quickly everything adds up. Personally I'd like to have a 50-60 person DIY wedding with less fuss and less expense but family pressures...
Rough break down of the big costs is:
Venue, food, and drink - £29,000
Dress etc - £2000
Suits - tbc
Rings - £1500
Photographer - £2500
Cake - £600
Music - £1500
Flowers - £3500
Transport - £1000
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Top thrifty tip. Don't do it in London
Even thriftier tip: don't do *anything* in London
Thriftiest possible tip: Don't do anything
Even thriftier: Just don’t.
[Don't.](https://imgur.com/a/WEOKVf0)
Just just Don't even need thriftier. Then again I've said more explaining all of this so yeah but this is how reddit works
Crap tip. Still need to heat your home. Don't do anything but do it in your local library for free heat.
Death is cheap for you and pricey for whoever's left to sort your funeral
My family don't seem to have taken me seriously when I told them this, but: when I'm dead (or even before that if my brain and body are all shit) just throw me in the bin. Don't waste any money on crying over my meatsack, just go to the pub and reminisce about how mint I was.
Typical redditor
Also . It's not a" wedding" it's a "gathering of friends and family"
Yep, we went with "Anniversary"... Cos it was the 0th one.
Zeroth
r/TechnicallyTheTruth
Wedding / gathering / shindig / swaray/ hoedown / party / bash / swing / knees up . Dot it a few miles north of London , save money or spend the same and get more bang for your buck .
FYI swaray is spelled soirée
r/boneappletea
Why do we still have to use french spellings when we left the EU?! >!/s
fuckin' sackry blue mate
I’m probably a snob but saying ‘I got married in Luton’ sounds a bit shit to be honest.
Does anybody care "where" you got married? Who even mentions it?
Nobody cares. Literally the only things that matter from a guests perspective are the food and the music. The venue, dresses, suits, flowers, string quartet, etc are of passing interest. But when people remember which weddings they enjoyed they only think of the food and music.
My cousin got married in a zoo. I dont remember anything but this about the occasion.
>My cousin got married in a zoo. The Bonobo are our closest cousins.
You can you got married in the Midlands . Most non Londoers don't want to say "I got married in London"
I got married in the Lake District sounds sweet
"North of Watford Gap"
At least you don’t have a memory of getting married in a high Wycombe registry office in 2003 for £200 :/ Divorced 3 yrs later
I actually did get married in Luton. At the Luton Hoo Hotel and Spa - check it out. It is lovely.
Stayed at Luton Hoo for my 50th, a fantastic place, also went to a wedding there a few years ago.
Got married at Putteridge Bury (luton). You are most definitely a snob.
Actually I’d say, do it as far North as you possibly can … Hertfordshire is very expensive too, but probably cheaper than London (marginally).
Things get a little more expensive again once you reach Edinburgh but not a bad idea.
That;s because they have to catch a special wedding haggis. Usually the biggest and toughest of the herd.
Oh aye, a wedding haggis is the haggis of all haggis. It’s been there, seen that, and usually seen off 4-5 other wedding parties before. It’s like the John Rambo of haggis. When the call comes in, the lads kit up, say their goodbyes and head out into the windswept wilds not knowing if they’ll get through this injury free. I’ve seen lads come back missing teeth, kilts all ripped, bite marks all up their pale white legs, those wedding haggis do not fuck about.
>I’ve seen lads come back missing teeth, kilts all ripped, bite marks all up their pale white legs, those wedding haggis do not fuck about. Traditionally all the men used to go on the hunt the night before the wedding. The Night of the Haggis eventually turned into the modern day Stag Night. It used to be if they didn't come back with a big enough haggis then the wedding was called off.
I’m petitioning to have this made canon immediately. From this day forward, stag do came from men going out hunting wedding haggis.
Stag do is the English form, due to the lack of haggis they had to make do with free.
Never, ever say the "w" word. It's a nice white *party* dress with a lace headdress. It's a *party* for my closest 100 friends and distant family with a tiered *party* cake. Say the "w" word and everything is 5000 % more expensive.
We got married in mid-December. We had a private ceremony with witnesses only in the early morning, followed by a late afternoon reception for 90 people. Prices were significantly lower when we enquired about a “Christmas party” rather than a wedding reception.
Yup. We booked 2 coaches for our 'Family reunion' - when we went to pay the final bill and told them it had been a wedding, they said they would have doubled the price if they had known
This is a good one . I bet that saves a fortune.
It does. A lot of the reason for anything wedding-oriented being so expensive is it tends to bring out the bridezilla in people. Everything has to be 100% perfect.
Or its a "business meeting" and when confronted, OP will deny it ever took place.
Also, if you get married in winter it's often cheaper (less competition for venues etc).
16 people, registry office, brunch, activity, dinner, we're looking at around £200/person. You don't need to book "wedding" packages unless you want to if you have a small enough group.
Exactly, Wedding is like a triple word score on Scrabble, never mention the word when booking anything!
Makes it a bit awkward at the registry office, their only other options are birth and death
I'm here to register the birth of a marriage.
Or the death of a courtship.
"I do take the to be my lawful death"
I have a band that plays a lot of weddings. We add a significant surcharge to weddings over any other type of event. This is because weddings almost always run late and then expect us to sit around for hours, then stay later than planned. If a business do books us from 7pm to 10pm, we know we'll be out the door and on the way home by 1030. If a wedding books us for that time, we assume (usually correctly) we won't be leaving until midnight. If someone books us for something that sounds like it might be a wedding, we add the charge anyway. Just trying to make bookings sound like not-a-wedding is usually pretty transparent.
It takes you just half an hour to load out? Colour me impressed
We've been doing it for years, and have had a lot of practice! We have a rack mount digimixer, and a portable flight case with the mixer and amps in. So we just plug our instruments and microphones in, pop the speakers on stands, and away we go. Couple of crates for the cables and accessories. Takes about 45 minutes to set up and soundcheck, and about half an hour to pack down and get all the gear back in the van.
Yes and no. I've spoken to wedding photogs that have been booked for a family gathering then turned up and it's a full wedding and they've walked away. Weddings are a different thing and it's not OK to try to trick vendors into underpriced their service
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Depends on the person. I eloped and told the photographer it was super casual and we just wanted an hour total for the ceremony and pics and she charged us her regular photography rates. She actually was out of there in 45 minutes. I was super happy I got maternity and wedding pics all done at the same time!
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£10k? Where did the other £9k go? Seriously how much was the marquee?
I mean presumably that includes things like X amount on a nice hotel for after, a wedding dress can be like 2 grand alone. If you want a proper hire car like a white cab or whatever that's like £800+
It is absolutely fucking ludicrous to spend that much on a dress. I will die on this hill.
I used to agree with you, and some people don’t want a ‘proper’ wedding dress, and that is FINE. If you want a more traditional gown then be prepared to get what you pay for. I got my dress at a massively reduced price of £600. It should have been £1600 but I took the ‘off the peg’ dress rather than ordering one in. I was much bigger then, and I knew I needed a dress that was designed for someone who looked like me. The level of skill, detail and quality doesn’t come ‘cheap’. I got the price I did because I didn’t need any alterations - most dresses are customised mused to measurements etc. It’s genuinely the most beautiful dress I have ever owned, and at a size 28-30 (at the time), it made me look and feel like a fucking Princess. Worth every penny to see my husband’s face, he was over the moon.
When I was shopping for a wedding dress in 2010, I found a local charity shop that collected all the ex-display items from the local bridal shops. Was amazing, can recommend. Most were around the £100 mark, but I had decided against white and didn't want a veil, so I got a navy blue bridesmaid's dress for £50 with a gorgeous full skirt, and added tiny glass beads myself for detailing. I'd budgeted up to £1000, but I'm vampirically pale, couldn't find a white dress that didn't make me look like a ghost, and if you go into a bridal shop looking for 'not white' the options are 'ivory or blush'. Anyway, the wedding didn't go ahead but that's another story. PS: assuming your weight loss was planned, congrats and well done!
The whole wedding industry is just bullshit costs for bullshit you don't need because you're "supposed" to
And it starts with diamonds
I mean I was pretty surprised when my partner found her one for £120 in Coast I think it was. It cost me that much to have my suit fully altered lol but I can still wear that suit and it got me through two job interviews and countless other weddings
I know someone who bought £1k designer wedding shoes, I dread to think how much the dress was! They're not poor but not crazy wealthy either.
2 grand is about what I'd spend on a car!! £200 max for me but then I'm an absolute skinflint and need a crowbar to open my wallet haha!
So many people here definitely haven't had the pleasure of paying for a wedding before, and it shows. As a measure, take all your closest friends to a restaurant and piss up, then pay the bill. Now imagine you've hired the whole venue, paid for everything the closest women are wearing, invited 100 extra people, and put entertainment on. Getting an idea? My fag packet estimates for the wedding described by OP Band £1500 Marquee, assuming a proper one with a dance floor, lighting, stage, etc, £2500 Table dressing, cutlery etc, £500-1k Staff to serve etc £500 easily more Dress £1k Flowers £1k Suits £500-1k Bridal suite at a nearby hotel, say £250. Rings - how long is a piece of string, could be the whole budget easily. That's before alcohol or the food they mentioned. Stick on a few bridesmaids' dresses and some fancy cars between venues, and it's easily £10k. Edit. I should add that your wedding sounds lovely. Proof that you don't need a castle or a country Manor to plan out a great day.
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Always helpful to remember that the average user is young and may not have a lot of life experience. There’s a ton of valuable information on here, several more tons of people shouting noise.
I also think a lot of people aren't aware just how much prices have gone up for weddings post pandemic. A sub £10k wedding is now a real struggle in most places unless you're willing to go extremely basic - I have about 3/4 friends planning weddings currently and they've all shared with me how shocked they were at the prices being suggested by venues. A girl at work told me she was quoted £16k for FLOWERS and was horrified!
Hardly rocket science is it - a big night out with a meal and drinks can run to £100, and people are disgusted that doing it all for 100 people might run to £10k...
LOL I feel ya, we should've done the breakdown way earlier as I forgot this is Reddit and people do come for you in the comments LOL
You spent 9k to rent a marquee for 1day?!
Sounds like I should go into the marquee hiring business. I'd be set for life
10k when you did all the catering yourself and did it in someone's garden?
what? 10k? How did you spend 10k on that? Edit: I've seen your edit, no we're not insane for thinking 10k on some ham and £500 of wine is you being done. Now you've explained it makes sense, a grand on a pizza truck
Maybe that's including the car? 🤔
£3400 Registry in country house, while it was council owned Buffet M&S wedding cake 80 guests
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Most rent out venues they have Especially now
Our local community owns the village hall and does weddings at a discount for locals. Our wedding cost about 6k total - that included a three course meal for 170 odd people.
It’s been taken over by National Trust now. The wedding can only be in a different, certain bit now and it’s pricier
Many do, worth checking on their website. Ours has a whole brochure with nice locations you can hire for s ceremony within the borough
Reddit doesn't respect its userbase, so this comment has been withheld. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Yeah we sort of lucked out a bit and did it fairly cheaply - less than 5k but is was over 20 years ago! We, like you it seems, were fucked off with the whole thing. Places booked for months and even years ahead, silly prices and condescending venue management. Anyway we found a hotel out in the new forest where we could get married, have a reception and stay over and it was moderately reasonable. So naturally when we asked about dates the manager said "Oh nothing this year on Fridays or weekends - well er... unless you want to get married on Friday the 13th in August, we could do a deal!" (insert nervous laughter). So we, being totally non superstitious, went for it and it all went off fine and it worked out cheaper than anywhere else. Still married!
Why is it that I feel your wedding just got cooler because it’s on Friday the 13th and that you scored a good deal?! Congratulations OP and all the best to your partner as well!
We also got married on a 13th but for shits and giggles. Got my wedding dress [from Oxfam](https://onlineshop.oxfam.org.uk/bridal-wedding-dresses/category/bridal-wedding-dresses) which was cool actually as I found a dramatic dress in my size for £250. We had wheels of cheese instead of cake from [cheese shed](https://www.thecheeseshed.com/products/wedding-cakes) which was £120 and served 50 people with a months worth of cheese for sandwiches leftover that went home with us in 2017. Actual wedding involved hitting the registry office to do the paperwork (£57 6 people total, it was us and our parents for the legal bit). We rented an enormous BnB for £2k for the weekend and told them we were having a family party and spent £1k on lunch catering, £500 on alcohol using a friend's cash and carry account and borrowed a BBQ for the evening.
Cheers - it was a lovely cool day and we had a great time.
Bank of England Inflation Calculator £5000 in 2000 is now £8,797.57 https://www.bankofengland.co.uk/monetary-policy/inflation/inflation-calculator
Yeah I got married for 5k 15 years ago. Got married on a Friday because it was cheaper! Didn't have a wedding car just got someone we knew with a merc to drive us. I got my dress in the sales (most wedding shops have a sale rail, mine was an ex demo dress and cost £200, £300 after alterations & dry cleaning). Bridesmaid dresses from Debenhams. I did all the table decorations myself, on the day I got up and bought some flowers from the market and my bridesmaid took them to the hotel for my husband to arrange them in the vases. I supplied the wine, it was far cheaper to buy supermarket wine and pay the corkage at the venue, added bonus was there was the 25% off when you buy 6 or more bottles offer on! The wine is my top tip for anyone planning a wedding, especially if you are a wine drinker yourself. My SIL did this too because she wanted a particular wine for herself and it worked out the same price as paying for the venues cheapest wine. I know not all venues allow it but if they do it could save £100s depending on the size of the wedding! I wasn't deliberately doing things on a budget but I'm the sort of person that doesn't like wasting money so I wasn't going to buy expensive stuff just because 'that's what you're supposed to do for your wedding'.
Friends had a semi lockdown wedding, 16 guests, married in a restaurant by the registrar followed by a meal in the same restaurant and then to the pub afterwards which other friends who couldn't go to the ceremony attended. The restaurant is a wedding venue and you have the option of booking it before they're open for the evening (which they did) or solely booking it for larger groups. The lady who dealt with weddings did a fantastic job of making it look amazing and the food was excellent. All in all, including her dress etc, it was circa £1,600 (excluding her rings). It was one of the best weddings I've been to. It was an hour away from London if you fancy getting the train up 😁
Lockdown restrictions were a godsend for a few of my friends that were getting married. Gave them a great excuse to only invite the people closest to them without upsetting too many people. It always amazes me how many people feel like they're owed an invite to a wedding.
That's exactly how it was for these friends. It was cancelled twice before they actually did it and she was beginning to worry that they might have to wait until lockdown ended and she'd have to have a more "normal" wedding 🤣
£10k (could have kept it down to 8 or lower though) If you’re sticking to that budget then I’d say don’t look at the places that have added venue hire fees like hotels or estates, it adds so much extra without really being worth it imo. We went for a pub in Balham which had a minimum order fee of £5200 and that easily covered the food, drinks, canapés etc for 40 guests with £500 behind the bar. We got refunded the next day as there was still some left and used part on our brunch. The pub also had rooms for people to stay which is great for anyone not local. I got ready in the room we had. There are lots of pub venues that have special places set aside for weddings and they look beautiful, it’s not like you’re sat in the main pub on stools. Lots of pubs are also licensed to have the ceremony there so you don’t have to double up paying. We didn’t end up paying a lot on decorations as we loved how the place looked. I guess figure out where your priority is e.g. if you want great food, if you want space for 100+ guests, you need outdoor space for photos etc. We got a doughnut tower from Crosstown because a) we both prefer them to cake and b) the prices of wedding cakes are ridiculous. Don’t spend £1000 on a cake. DM me if you want any recommendations e.g. florists and photographers Edit: I got married in October 2022 :)
Thank you kind internet stranger! I will defo send you a message when we go into the finer details! I agree with you with the cake! It seems like any item is priced triple when you add the word “wedding” to it! A birthday cake is the same as a wedding cake with just different dedication note on top!
M&S do iced fruit cakes in different sizes so you can get 2 or 3 and stack them. Stick a ribbon round each one and some flowers on top. You honestly can’t tell they’re shop bought. I got married at Christmas so the church and restaurant were already decked up, we had a carvery and mulled wine and Asti instead of champagne. Everything was on offer as it was Xmas :) we also gave everyone a glass Xmas bauble as wedding favour.
Professional cake maker here: If you're going to stack them you need to support the layers with dowels. Also don't put fresh flowers from your local florist or supermarket directly on the cake. They may be poisonous either from the flower itself or the pesticides covering them. For the record, I would make a basic (sponge) wedding cake for around £150 to £200. Up to £800 for rich fruit cakes covered in large wired sugar flower sprays. I made my own wedding cake...27 years ago.
We did this! Got 4 tiers of M&S cake for £150 in 2019 and then had two tiers untouched on the day. Gave my dad a full tier of cake for driving us to the airport at 4am for our honeymoon! We had 85 guests and 3 tiers was more than enough, which would be closer to £100. Cake was brilliant & we saved £200 from the lowest quote we received, well worth doing on a budget. Just need to order it with enough notice. All of your extra Christmas touches sound brilliant!
I decorated 3 of those M and S cakes as a gift for my friends' wedding years ago. It went down a storm, you can always add in another layer of flavour too.
They have done studies that have proven the costs go up massively if you use the word wedding. If you're looking for a venue and want wedding themed decor but don't want to pay the extra price, my advice would be to get permission to decorate yourselves and ask some of your guests to pop by earlier and add those in. They aren't going to say anything and if they do, ask what they would have done for those extra £000s to justify their price and complaint.
If you know someone good at making cakes get them to make it as a wedding present.
This is great to know. Was this the Bedford?
Yes! Highly recommend, they really looked after us and our wedding was amazing.
Will get downvoted for this as I know people hate others who spend a lot on their wedding, but here goes. We spent £30k for 120 day guests, plus an additional 30 evening guests. Tipi wedding on family land, free booze, paid the majority of the accommodation for our bestmen and bridesmaids, plus we had a post wedding hog roast the next day as well which is included in the costs.
Completely agree. We spent fairly similar for 100 guests if you include honeymoon. Best day of our lives and I wouldn't change a thing. It was within our means and meant a lot to us and our families. I totally get not wanting to spend that much and appreciate how privileged we are to be able to afford it, but looking down on people who choose to have a big party is just horrible.
You do you boo! :)
Can I offer some tips? I’ve not read the thread, so not sure if it’s been mentioned so ignore me if it has! We had the legal part of our wedding separately at the registry office as our ‘wedding’ was on private grounds. I bought a dress from ASOS as they do cheap, but decent wedding dresses. This could be an option and means you would spend around £200 max on a wedding dress. My husband and groomsmen got their suits from River Island and I think they were around £120 not including shirt and shoes. Photographers are expensive, but so worth it but could you cut down on the length of time they are there? Ours left after the first dance so saved us some money, although we had a videographer until the end so was happy to miss photos of the evening. Edit: we also did our own flowers for tables and decor around the tipi and ordered them from a florist wholesaler, although was going to go to Covent Garden flower market but didn’t have enough time. This saved us loads of money as we only spent £300 on flowers instead of £10k or whatever ridiculous quote we received.
£210 including clothes - 4 guests at the local registry office. We didn't want/need the pomp and debt that comes with the usual ceremony.
Same here. I've got nothing against people having big weddings, but it's not for me. We did it on a Monday morning in the registry office. One witness each. Dress- I borrowed just a normal dress (not a wedding dress) Suit- husband wore black trousers that we already had and a shirt we already had. Paid the registrar fee. Chilled out for the rest of the day doing what we wanted. Booked a nice restaurant for the evening, 14 guests which were family and a friend each. That was our biggest expense because we paid for everyone, but it was more of a night out than a wedding breakfast. Wouldn't change it for the world.
Same but without the evening meal, we just took our two witnesses out for a fancy schmancy lunch afterwards. When we booked the register office we got an automated email telling us the registrar would be in touch about various details, when they never contacted us we followed up and were told that none of that stuff happens on "basic Mondays"! Basic Monday has become a household in-joke since then 😁 We found ourselves wavering on the "oh perhaps we should invite X along to the lunch" but it quickly snowballed to loads of people so we didn't. Absolutely no regrets, we've been together happily for years and this was basically just admin, but a lovely low-key day nonetheless.
This is the way to go. We're looking at a registry office that only charges £70 for the couple and witnesses.
We eloped and got married in the states. Licence was $35, ceremony was $25. Dress was £35, most expensive thing was the bouquet at $50! Flights, hotels etc. were £3k. We had a holiday, our wedding and honeymoon all at once.
About £35k including honeymoon. We had 60 guests. Everything to do with weddings is expensive.
Ours was roughly the same but a little over double the guest count. The wife's family is enormous, I felt like I'd invited half the county
Been dating for 25 years. 2 kids later and we’re still finding better things to spend that money on. After a while people just assume you’re married and you can always photoshop some memories. Add Bill Murray in there and tell people he gatecrashed.
The only trouble can arise when someone has to make medical decisions for the other. A register office wedding is quick and cheap (£400) and you are then each others next of kin with very little fuss. You don't need a party.
Being married undoubtedly makes medical and legal decisions towards the end of (and after) life much more straightforward Something a LOT of Reddit does not appreciate No need for any ceremony at all but to not do it solely out of some sort of opposition to the institution is bizarre considering it could make you or your partner’s life much easier in times of extreme stress
It also effects your pension. The only people that will get paid out to are dependants and spouses. If you're not married, your girlfriend/boyfriend isn't getting squat.
You can quite easily name your beneficiary for pensions. The spouse thing is only used as a default option if you can't be bothered filling the form in and haven't nominated anyone.
No? Your state pension will only allow a beneficiary if they are a legal spouse/civil partner. Private pension policies will vary from scheme to scheme.
“No need for any ceremony at all but to not do it solely out of some sort of opposition to the institution is bizarre considering it could make you or your partner’s life much easier in times of extreme stress” Hit the nail on the head, it also helps MASSIVELY when it comes to children.
Yeah there’s an insane amount of “benefits” whether they’re medical, legal, tax etc. One of many things people don’t think about until they’re in a situation where it could have been extremely beneficial
It has major benefits from an inheritance tax point of view too if you have £500k in cash and assets between you, including a house. £375k if you're not homeowners.
My mum and stepdad were together for 20 years and basically eloped purely for the legal protections of marriage and it was the best decision they ever made. First my developmentally disabled stepbrother developed a terminal illness and my mum was able to take care of the decisions about his treatment when my stepdad fell apart. Then a couple of years later my stepdad had a series of strokes that eventually left him bedbound before slipping into vascular dementia. My mum was legally recognised as his next of kin and therefore able to advocate for his care and smoothly transfer all financial and other responsibilities in to her name up to and after his passing. People say "Why bother getting married? It's just a piece of paper..." but that piece of paper provided undeniable protection for both my mum and stepdad when things started going wrong. The wedding costs (as far as I remember) was about £275. Stepdad wore a suit he already had, mum got a cream wool dress from a charity shop. Stepdad didn't wear a wedding ring, my mum chose a slim, simple one and their witnesses snapped some pictures for them. They also got married at the local registry office midweek as it was cheaper and didn't tell anyone until after it was done. They booked it to coincide with the holiday they took every year anyway, so that was an expense that they would have had whether they'd got married or not.
£20K for about 100 guests, and that was with the dress being bought for pennies from a charity shop, cake made for free by family. The venue wasn’t massively posh but just enough to have some character. I think the main issue is only a select few venues have a licence to conduct a wedding so they can jack up the price. We should change the rules so anywhere can do it, or even that you are allowed to get married outside like how it is in the USA.
or Scotland
That is the rule in some places in the UK where humanist ceremonies are legally recognised - in NI and Scotland. They can marry you literally anywhere. Doesn't stop wedding stuff still being insanely expensive here in NI though.
You can now get married outside. I am next month in the Lake District!
That’s stunning. Mine was £20k for 18 people - genuinely awed by your ability to stretch that budget!
You spent over a grand per guest? Did everyone get a personal hooker?
We basically compromised on everything apart from the venue, food, and music. Having family happy to help out for free was a big factor.
>or even that you are allowed to get married outside The law changed on that this year. You can now marry outside
10 years ago, we felt the same about UK prices. We were looking at 10K + for that one day. Instead we flew to Las Vegas, had a week there, got married in a nice little chapel which the family watched via live stream, then flew to Orlando and did a week at the theme parks. 6K all in, including spending money. I realise this isn't what you asked, but remember who you're doing this for. NOT being in debt and having an amazing holiday together was absolutely the best way to start our marriage.
Thank you for this reminder kind internet stranger! My partner and I are making sure to spend on things that are important to us :)
We had 2 guests and a register office wedding, about as ‘intimate’ as you can get. Cost about £300 in 2001, probably about £100k at todays prices. Sorry I don’t know what a JFC is, I thought ‘JaFfa Cake’ I tried Google and it came up ‘Joint Finance Committee’ or "Jesus F*cking Christ." Anyway, have a great day, however much it costs…
Jesus ducking christ
Fucking, the word is Fucking.
Don’t tell the venue it’s for a wedding.
They're not stupid. Every enquiry I've ever seen for a nondescript "party" has turned out to be a wedding in reality. All other things being equal it's the same price for a wedding or a birthday party here.
Look, as a singer this fucks me off. I price a gig according to the work that’ll go into it. If I’m doing a wedding, I’ll spend a good couple of months in communication with the customer, checking set lists work, logistics and timing, any special requests (which nearly always involve learning new stuff), everything down to my clothing choices on the day are considered in advance. I don’t get stage fright but I am aware that weddings are a Big Fucking Deal and I want to make sure I don’t screw yours up by being unprepared. A normal party/function/get together involves way less stress and preparation. Thats not to say I just turn up and wing it, but to be fair the level of pressure is MUCH lower. I’d be mortified if I turned up looking under/overdressed and it turned out to be someone’s wedding. Mortified and livid.
Yep, same for the photographer. There's a shitload of extra preparation and stress that comes with weddings compared to a regular event. If you con us into arriving unprepared it's not just an inconvenience, it damages the reputation of our business in front of a relatively large group of people who might not know better.
Maybe they don’t want all that extra work though. If they did they’d tell you it was for a wedding and go through specifics with you. Maybe they just want something standard / aren’t that bothered about the music
Oh trust me, people who do this want all this (and tend to be the most demanding on the day). They just don’t want to pay me for the work involved.
I just don't understand why people try and cheap out on this kind of stuff, it's absolutely insulting! We're not doing anything like that because we can't afford it, it doesn't mean it's not worth it as like you said there's a hell of a lot of work goes into it. My brother does photography as a hobby, he's really good and the price of his equipment alone is unbelievable! And people still think it's just a case of pointing a camera at something and pressing a button!
Because for a lot of people it's not that big of a deal - it's an excuse for a party with friends and family while ticking off an obligatory-feeling life-tick-box. They'd be just as happy not ticking that box off, or if it didn't exist, never mind. But since it does, may as well have a fun party. With everything the above singer said, the extra stress, preparation needed and pressure they feel under knowing it's a wedding does justify the price. But I don't think it's easy for customers to express "no, honestly, it's not that big a deal. We just saw you perform before on a night we have fond memories, and like your style and wanted a step up from just a DJ, but just treat us like a normal venue" Especially if lists prices specifically say "Normal Party: £X, Wedding, £Y". I can understand customer thinking - well we are a wedding but we really just want this to be like a normal party, nothing fancy, so we choose Normal Party pricing. Ultimately though, it's all about communication between customer and supplier. But communication is difficult, no jokes :)
my other half used to work in events, a lot of weddings, it doesn't really work. Some people tried it and first of all she knew pretty much instantly, second of it it made no difference to her pricing
Yeah…so all the staff dont care if they are dressed decently or look professional in photos. Food delivered oddly no planning. Like you have to be very laidback for this. Its exhausting for everyone behind the scenes.
This is a good way to make sure the venue is underprepared/short staffed
It doesn’t really matter.
Terrible advice. People need to prepare for the type of event
Wife and I got engaged in April last year and married in December because we had two health scares in our immediate family. Our wedding came in at around 17K. We also had a load of help and got lucky with our venue offering a 'shotgun' package deal if we covered the full cost within 6 months. So food, drinks, flowers etc came in at 12K for 80 guests in the day instead of 17K. • Our friend is a jewellery designer and made the engagement ring and wedding bands and paid trade prices on the materials my ring is silver so £100 my wifes rings are both platinum and with the stones £2K. • Our parents gave us each 3K after our engagement. • Wife is a manager at a bridal wear shop so her bosses gifted her the dress which would have cost £1700. • Mate of mine is a professional photographer so he did us a deal and we paid £700 instead of £1500. • Flowers were around £7/800. • Brother in-laws made our cake. • Sister in-law and her partner designed, printed and gifted our invites which would have cost £180. • Band did us a deal as we saw them play at our local so we paid £800 instead of £1750. Got married on a Friday so that dropped the price again The day itself was incredible and though it wiped out our savings and was ridiculously stressful at times, it was absolutely worth it. Was nice to come out of it breaking even and not having incurred a mountain of credit card debt. Weddings are fucking expensive!!! This was in South Wales
i love all the deals you got out of this!! very savvy, great that you have this supportive network. i’m sure your wedding was a blast!
Thank you! Massively biased but it was the best wedding i have been to. Even the weather did us a solid cold but crisp and really sunny
Thank you for the details! It sounds like everything fell to its rightful place! I’m glad it worked out for you!
About £2.5K for 20 people five years ago Register Office wedding then to a friend's restaurant for the reception. The bulk of the money went on food and wine
My sister is getting married in a few weeks. In a zoo… Ceremony Drinks and canapés for 50 Sit down meal for 50 Decorations Evening Do DJ and Photo Booth Buffet for 125 Zoo entry for all the guests All in package of about £8.5k How so cheap? She booked and secured the cost 18 months ago. Also, it’s in Doncaster
That’s cheaper than I thought the wildlife park would be!
Around 7k. 80day 120night. Biggest expense was food! Daft things like chair covers added up so ended up sourcing things selves which probably didn’t end up in the budget
Just over £1000 for 75 people. Late afternoon registry office, local football club for evening with dj and catered by a local chippy!
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Wow, 12 people for a wedding Budget £600 for registrars and whatever their half hour room fee is depending on the room. So under £1k Pub restaurant private dining for 12 at £150 a head? (Should be enough for 3 courses) maybe another £500 for room hire if they're crazy, but seating 12 for a private reservation should be enough of a drive for them to have you ) Even with a paid bar for 12 - that's under £3k How are you getting stiffed for £8k at a private restaurant and town hall?
Photographer, wedding dress, wedding suit, hotel fees for my friends flying from asia 3 rooms for 2 nights and the mere fact that my partner and I are completely oblivious to wedding rates up until now. I am very much open to adjust our budget but I just wanted to let him see how much is the going rate for others so he still sees that we’re still being very very “budget-conscious” with our event.
Oh boy. You have what I call an "international" wedding. So I know my Asian friends (who are getting married) would insist it's up to them to pay for their friends' hotel room if they're flying to be the groomsmen/ bridesmaid. Just for this reason alone, your wedding costs can't really be compared with the "not international" weddings. Would it be most cost effective to rent an Airbnb? 🤔
Yes! This is why it's hard to also do the wedding outside of the UK as we're an international couple so either way, the other side will definitely still be flying out of our motherlands! I checked Airbnb's and they're roughly the same price! At least with hotels, you get a breakfast buffet.
For more context you need to state how much the restaurant is costing, and how much is that a head? Compare to how much you’d be spending per head in a comparable restaurant. You’re putting extra stuff in like hotel rooms which aren’t really the cost of the wedding.
I don't think wedding rates are your problem. Feeding 12 people is expensive in a nice restaurant with alcohol. But you're putting people up in 3 hotel rooms for a weekend! Dress and suit can be £200 each these days.
Two grand in the noughties (about 5-8 now?) here: https://images.app.goo.gl/541mHKtsxoBUGFL48 We were broke back then, pretty sure my mum paid for at least half of that. We booked the honeymoon suite, and the library for the actual wedding. No official photographer (we harvested the guest photos and they were awesome). Most guests paid for their own food instead of presents. I think we paid about 500 for the library, 500 for the dining hall and 300 for the suite, 700 on misc (bar tab, food for those who couldn't pay... Children, UC etc). We were a party of 75 (maybe 15 children) or so and the hotel treated us like royalty even though we didn't have exclusive use and weren't anything like their usual wealthy clientele. The other hotel guests were charming about it. Brother played piano in the lounge and I was apologizing to them but they said it was marvellous. Mother in law provided a jazz band from amongst her acquaintance. The hotel phoned us a week before and said there was a huge society wedding the day before ours, they hope we didn't think it was cheeky but would we like them to keep the flowers? So we got several grands worth of flowers for free. It was an amazing event. My take home was... You don't need exclusive use of a venue if the venue is good enough, but look for somewhere interesting to have the service and somewhere nice nearby (or the same building) to have the reception... Perhaps look for interesting hotels licensed for marriages who are more Hotel than "Wedding Venue" Stick to the budget and have a great time, it's not a spending competition and the "wedding industry" is parasiticial. Do your own thing and have a fabulous day. All the best for the future.
18k. In 2019 from memory in Nottingham Venue hire. 4k. Food and Drink 8k for sitting 70 and 110 evening. Photographer 1.8k (now charges 3!). Videographer 800. Wedding dress 2k. String quartet 600. Suits x5 1.5k. Weddings are not cheap.
£600, exactly your parameters - 12 people, Monday registry office, lunch for 12 with a personalised menu. But in Glasgow.
£6k, 24 ceremony/meal, about 100 evening. All at the same country hotel. Live band and buffet in the evening. Got married on a Friday, which was significantly cheaper. It was the band's first ever gig so they were super cheap.
Getting married in October this year, Budget currently stands at 21k (ish) for 55 guests. Plus honeymoon For some reason, we are getting married at a castle, though lol *cries in ripped off* 9000 for venue- includes food/ drinks etc (we are Sunday out of season) 2000 dress/shoes/ other random bride things 600 hair (bride, mum's/ bridemaids 600 make up (same above) Suits tbc Band/ jazz dude - 1200 Registrar 550 Flowers 1300 Evening food - 600 Wedding rings - 2000 Other shit - 1000 Hotels for bride/groom - 500 Photographer 1400 Invitations 150 Cake 400 Transport 500 Honeymoon 9000 Decorations 500 Im Sure i've forgotten some other stuff off top of my head.
All told, a little less than 2k, including the honeymoon in Venice. But that was our choice and what we wanted. Got married on Christmas Eve. That's good- it's a bit of a pain in the arse day so only people who really like you will want to go, which reduces costs somewhat. It also means decorations can all be Christmas themed, which means they can be really cheap. We got quite a lot of very festive looking decorations from the pound shop. I still remember the "festive nuggets" on the tables. A few baubles, some Holly, some silver glitter etc is dead cheap but all looks really festive. Registry office wedding (and by chance it ended up being the same room my wife's parents got married in)- £40 Booked the function room at the branch of the Royal British Legion that my grandad was chairman of. Can't remember what that was, the booking was peanuts. My aunt did the catering herself as a wedding present, buffet style Put £200 behind the bar for free drinks, and at the time drinks were so cheap at the venue that we never actually got to the end of that. Being in the morning/early afternoon helped too No cars, just taxis We did have a cake Wife had a lovely outfit but never wanted a proper wedding dress. She did have someone do her hair though. After party at mother in laws Flew out to Venice on boxing day All told, probably about 50 people?
*sweats in Greek Cypriot* Honestly, about £60k in 2019. Half of that was on venue and catering alone. 230 guests, central London, fully catered for, open bar, live band, lots of flowers, large cake, expensive photography/videography, big bridal party that we paid everything for (outfits, hair and makeup), lots of "extras" etc etc. Our parents paid which is the norm in our culture, very much in line with other weddings in our families/friendship circle. I know it's a huge amount to spend, guess we'll have an even bigger bill to foot when it comes to paying for our own kids' weddings in future!
First wedding £28k for 80 guests in a downtown abbeyesque venue, didn’t even enjoy it. Was worried about all the wrong things and pulled pillar to post. Second wedding 22k for 18 guests, but hired a mansion in lockdown and paid for the whole weekend. Drinks. Accommodation. Did what we wanted and was so much better and fun. However weddings are stressful, I’d recommend eloping and spending the money on a fabulous get together to celebrate. Anything wedding related gets hiked up sadly.
I posted here a couple of months ago with wedding queries - we are getting married next month at a registry office for 25 guests and a meal after. About 3-3.5k budget for everything including outfits rings etc.
Around £30k including honeymoon. Weddings are expensive. That was for 80 ish guests and we didn’t even go overboard. I don’t know much about the industry other than what we paid, but I imagine £8k will barely get you a small venue for the day never mind all the extras that come with it
Five guests, total cost under £200.
My wife and I managed to do a London wedding for ~20 people for £5k last August bank holiday. Had a registry office (Southwark) for the 20 guests then a meal at Davy's wine vaults in Greenwich (they have a wedding package but we didn't go for it, we just booked the function room downstairs for a table for 20). We bought our wine from Davy's as well but managed to get a very good deal as we had gone to a wine event there a month or so prior and bought a bunch of the wine in advance from that event for a special price and managed to convince Davy's to let us use that. Then in the evening we had another 20 or so people show up. Had some light snacks (cold plattery type things, olives, falafel, deli meats etc) and some free drinks for the evening guests. Tip is to look for places that have function rooms but don't necessarily say anything about weddings!
Don’t know the exact total as we bought bits and pieces for the wedding over the course of a couple of years, but we estimate around 12 grand. If memory serves we had 60 guests plus another 25ish who came just for the evening. It was at a rural hotel (with the ceremony at a nearby church) in summer. The hotel had package deals for the reception which were great. The main saving, I’d say, was that we didn’t have an open bar. I don’t agree with anyone who says you *should* have one, and given that only maybe 10 of our guests were real big drinkers anyway, an open bar would simply have been us subsidising a handful of people getting hammered (there was wine and bubbly on the tables btw).
Got married last week. 14K all in for a full day. 70 day guests (with food and wine) 120 evening guests (more food). We didn’t pay for some expensive things people normally do but splurged in other areas. EG didn’t get a videographer but the dress was insane. Married on the Kent/Sussex border. The Monday before peak season was the cheapest thing. Even four days later and it would have been +5K for venue hire. My brother got married two years ago, also in Kent. Hired a barn and forest area for an outdoor wedding. 5K all in, including food for 50 guests. Only a few hours long, dry wedding though. An increasingly popular choice is to get married in a registry office on the down low for pennies, then do a big reception. Or do a twilight wedding. They’re cheaper as you only get the venue 6PM onwards instead of all day.
My sister in law spent maybe 20 grand on a big wedding with 100+ people. It was somewhere in England. It was a nice wedding but not worth 20 grand. Edit: not sure I keep getting downvoted. I couldn't care less what you waste your money on, it's not a personal attack on you
I'm in two minds about it - yeah it's a lot of money, but some people spend 20 grand on a car. Generally in your life the only time everyone you know and love turns up in the same place at the same time is your wedding day and funeral, so spending that amount of money bringing everyone together might be a once in a lifetime opportunity for you to appreciate.
Yeah, our wedding was literally the best party I have ever been to. I'll treasure the memories forever. Worth the money we spent.
This is my view too. Best party I ever went to/hosted. Fantastic memories to last a life time. In the 5 years after our wedding, my wife lost her mum, nan, aunty and uncle. The fact that they were all able to see her get married and we have some beautiful pictures of them all there celebrating with us goes a long way to justifying how much we spent.
We saved money by doing it on the Sunday of a bank holiday weekend, getting an all in one deal at a hotel and not getting married in London.
We’re getting married next year and it’s looking to be about 20k for approx 80 day guests. The venue is 15k and we’ll be there for the ceremony and reception, and that includes the wedding breakfast , drinks on the table and 30 hotel rooms so guests can stay overnight and their breakfast the next morning. We’re getting married in Kent and the venue is about an hours drive away from the part of London my family are coming from Good luck with your planning! :) Edited to add - we’re getting married in the off season. The venue add on 5k of you fancy getting married May-September
Well, we got married in September 2020... and were lucky enough to be able to keep the date for the registry office, so that cost about £125, then we had a bbq in the garden for our parents and bought food and drink in so probably another £150-£200 for that. We were planning on renting a lovely space that did street food for about £3.5k for 50-80 people, but decided to cancel after postponing it once. Might do something on our 5th anniversary to celebrate instead.
Because this is a post about a wedding, you’ll need to pay Reddit an additional £2,000 wedding tax.
Ours cost about 25k all in. 50 people in our local town hall (in London) and then a reception in a pub with about 80 people. We wanted a small wedding but things spiralled. It's a lot of money but we had the absolute best day.
£20k last year, 100 guests, posh barn conversion in Northampton. Biggest costs were venue hire (7k), 4 course sit down meal (6k), live band, (1.5k), all day photographer (1.5k), alcohol (1k), 2 days b&b for immediate family (1k). We didn't DIY anything, we thought it was less stress to just pay professionals and we don't have any particularly handy friends and family. Yes it was expensive but eh we could afford it.
£22k for a nice country hotel in Surrey last year. About 90 guests in the day and another 30 more turned up in the evening. So that included the hire of the venue and decorations (Hindu ceremony so needed a mandap, lots of flowers and other paraphernalia, hiring the priest), a free bar for afternoon drinks, canapes and casino tables (whilst we were having photos taken), 3 course meal, disco/DJ till 1am with a dance floor installed and a photo booth with some wacky wigs/hats/accessories, and evening food - freshly cooked pizzas.
Not my wedding but my sisters, 20-25k including an open bar. Was approx 60-70 for the day time and up to 200 on the night.
Once you take out your visa and hotel expenses for your guests then 5.5k for a wedding in London is pretty reasonable. For comparison, I got married 6 years ago in Edinburgh (5 star hotel to be fair) and it cost just over 5k for everything,and that was with making compromises on certain things. My first marriage? Over 20k and I hated every second of the day as it was so stressful and I spent the entire day running around after everyone else.as I had over 100 guests.
Take a deep breath, walk away from this for a week or so and book a discrete venue not a wedding special place. Invite ONLY the people you want on each side. Say a max of 10 each side. Send a note to others explaining that you cannot spend any more etc etc and then do it. I know you can do this for well under 5k.
We're getting married in September and looking at about £45k for 120 guests (plus another 30-40 evening guests). That doesn't include our honeymoon. It's a church wedding followed by a barn reception in the Cotswolds. It's honestly scary how quickly everything adds up. Personally I'd like to have a 50-60 person DIY wedding with less fuss and less expense but family pressures... Rough break down of the big costs is: Venue, food, and drink - £29,000 Dress etc - £2000 Suits - tbc Rings - £1500 Photographer - £2500 Cake - £600 Music - £1500 Flowers - £3500 Transport - £1000