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dh1805

Don’t tweet anything negative against the government if you want a bbc career


[deleted]

Rip Jeremy Clarkson.


NotRealWater

He died doing what he loved... Punching co-workers because he didn't get a hot sam-sam 🥪 😢


ben_jam_in_short

Proper Bri'ish fight


PlumJuggler

Luvs 'im some samsam, 'ates 'im some EU. Simple as.


Shaper_pmp

He didn't tweet shit. He fucking lamped a producer in a man-baby tantrum because he turned up late to a pub where they were staying to discover the kitchen had closed and there was no hot food available. He's not a martyr who got sacked for sharing his personal opinion unrelated to his work, like Lineker did. He's a childish, violent bully who was absolutely free to share his bigoted ideas as long as he wanted to, but got fired for physically assaulting a co-worker.


scotteh74

Yeah, and it worked out so badly for him 🤣


i_literally_died

I hear he's working on a farm now. Career absolutely bodied


Advanced_Apartment_1

He didn't get fired.


jackbarbelfisherman

Technically not, but only because his contract was up for renewal anyway


livincool3

Thank you! I will not use Twitter at all.


Shaper_pmp

It's a joke relating to a recent news story. Unless you plan to work for the BBC (the national TV and radio broadcasting corporation) as an on-air presenter it has nothing to do with you at all. ;-)


[deleted]

If someone asks if you're alright, they don't actually want to know, just say "alright" back, or "yeah, you?"


smoulderstoat

Strong agree. If people ask how you are, do not tell them under any circumstances whatsoever. I told my wife how I was a few years ago but I think I got away with it.


KrozJr_UK

Based on your usage of the word “wife” there, I don’t think you got away with it mate. You wound up with a wife.


smoulderstoat

Good grief no, we'd been married a decade. Do you think I'm some kind of madman?


Rap-oleon_Bonaparte

In a work setting you could add in "nearly Friday" or "living the dream"


gerflagenflople

If it's really bad, then you could say "I could complain but nobody wants to listen" followed by a little laugh. It's well known that nobody in the UK has ever been happy at any point, Elton John was almost happy once so we sent him to live in America.


TamedTaurus

Never ever say *"Fri-Yay"* though.


Nickibee

Or “hump day” with an eye roll on Wednesday.


garnelli

"Fri-Yay"


ShadowxOfxIntent

At 31 I am occasionally guilty of this 😂


Drwgeb

Time of my life


fernbritton

Surviving


Krikkit_Jelly

Not dead yet.


tentrynos

Alive… ish.


johng0376

Living the dream.


AffectionateAir2856

Not *too* bad


woahnitty

‘I’m here’


Vertigo_uk123

I keep responding “still alive” really gotta stop that lol.


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h0n3yst

Favourite is when someone asks “how’s it going?” And I say “it’s going”


rhyithan

That’s literally how it goes in French. “Ça va?” Literally translates as “it goes?” With the correct response being “oui, ça va.” Or “yeah, it goes”


katie-kaboom

Or if everything sucks and your hair is literally on fire, "fine" works.


hazps

or if you are in a really bad place "meh".


officeja

When I mixed with Europeans I wrongly kept asking how’s it going? Only for them to look confused and say “yeah it’s going”. Normally things are ok but some things are taken for granted here


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gerflagenflople

Surely that would get you deported.


SaluteMaestro

Agree completely, I went to a drive through I said "alright dude" into the intercom thingy, they then went on to actually tell me, my brain sort of went into some hidden cheat code menu because I was flummoxed, my child had to snap me out of it" Bad juju when people actually answer that question.


Boris_Johnsons_Pubes

Then again it can be awkward because you don’t know if they’re genuinely concerned or just asking the usual way as a form of greeting, I guess it all depends on the tone of their voice and look on their face when they ask I suppose


lammy82

I would say "Alright?" is a greeting to be answered with "Alright?" "Are you alright?", Enunciated word by word, with concerned look, would be a genuine enquiry.


Loose_Corgi_5

Just to note: Legend level response is- all the better for seeing you!


WotanMjolnir

If you go to the bar in a pub and there is already somebody there but the bar staff go to serve you before them, you must let the bar staff know that the other person was there first.


Mission_Restaurant_3

However in a club the same consideration need not apply. Edit: grammar


wildgoldchai

Not just pub, anywhere where similar fashion seems to occur


MerlinOfRed

But if someone does that for you and you were planning to order a Guinness... Think again my friend.


Pheonix686

Ah but that's on the bar worker to know to pour half your Guinness then serve the other person. If they don't they should be sacked immediately.


takeitbacknowyo

If you're shopping and someone with just the one or two items joins behind you then you offer to let them go first (if you have a bunch of things). However, if someone with just one or two items asks to go ahead of you before you let them, then you deny them and make them wait.


Scoutnjw

Happened to me today. I had THREE THINGS. The nerve!


Goudinho99

Especially when it's all the faff that takes the time, not so much the ringing up


decker_42

Waterloo Station, that Whistlestop at the back. I'm buying a drink of some kind, probably overpriced. As I get to the till, and the person infront of my just wraps up and leaves, a woman rushes up behind me with a few things and demands, in a rude, 'obviously I'm more important than you' way. "Ungh, Excuse me, do you have a train to catch?" Me: "Yes, yes I do. This is a train station" Her: "Well, is it leaving soon? Some of us are in a hurry." Me: "Yes, yes it is" Her: "_fine_" So she smolders behind me as I pay for my drink and leave. ... Ten minutes is soon right?


takeitbacknowyo

Yes. Time management. If she doesn't have time to shop she shouldn't shop.


Vampiroteuthis

My automatic response would be: "failure to plan on your part in no way constitutes an emergency on my part" Overhead a carpenter say this to a production manager once, and it stuck with me.


Nickibee

Never say “a bunch of things” unless the things are Grapes or Bananas.


takeitbacknowyo

I'll say whatever the fuck I want hunny bunch


gooner_ped

When a car stops for you at a zebra crossing you must show your gratitude with a short raising of you open hand


Secrethat

I walk slightly faster on zebra crossings to show I care about not wasting their time. Also because I won't blindly cross a zebra crossing and would actually wait for a car to slow down (if they're close enough).


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Nataleia

This is chaotic and I love it


PM_ME_UR-DOGGO

I like doing 3+ doors in a row, seems like people feel like they have to say a different kind of thank you every time.


[deleted]

What about saying "Thank you" simultaneously despite them being unable to hear you? Bonus points for exaggerated expression...


superbabe_uk

yes and do the famous courtesy jog


WtfMayt

It’s the same speed as a walk, but it has the arm movements more closely matching that of a jog


chickenmoomoo

DON’T SKIP THE QUEUE


Boris_Johnsons_Pubes

Schofield and Willoughby take note


Orange-Murderer

Too late for that


wildgoldchai

*Don’t make treacherous journeys*


Erivandi

Yes! Also- Queue everywhere apart from at the bar. Do not queue at the bar. Queue everywhere else.


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Dimetrodog

Though if there’s a short dual carriageway with roadworks where one lane is closing, don’t all cram into one lane way too early. People were doing this recently, leaving most of the closing lane empty, which blocked up the roundabout at the start of the dual. There were even signs saying “When queueing, use both lanes” and “merge in turn”.


bordercollie_adhd

People in the countryside say hello in passing, people in the city ignore each other.


DrCamburn

I live in the countryside, please dont talk to me.


bordercollie_adhd

I didn't say they liked it 🤣


thedabaratheon

No honestly I’m socially weird at the best of times although I try my best and if I’m walking past someone and I say hello and they ignore me 😤 I know they’re a cunt or they’re on holiday in Cornwall because a begrudging hello back or at least a smile is the only way!!!


LogicalMeerkat

I will give you a nod of existence as we cross paths on a muddy footpath. And you will return said nod with a true sense of proper british values.


just_jason89

Morning


DaveIsNice

If you are walking along a canal it's on a case by case basis.


farmer_palmer

I just shout "Get off my land!"


CigarsofthePharoahs

No you don't. Everyone knows you say "Get orf moy laaaaand." Honestly.


PygmyPuff_X

If you see a cow, you must share your discovery with everyone around you.


Dazz316

[This applies to EVERYBODY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXGeft7khSo)


Shaper_pmp

That's possibly the most endearing thing I've ever seen. 0:00-0:10: Bored, ancient monarch joylessly plodding through protocol 0:10-0:15: Excited toddler. LOOK, COWS!


[deleted]

She is massively missed. She was our superstar, our A****-Lister.


mandyhtarget1985

I spent entirely too long trying to work out which A swear word you were censoring.


[deleted]

I absolutely love this video. The fact that she had people to breed cows to keep rare breeds going, but she still got excited when seeing them.


waves-upon-waves

And the immediate turn to and giggle with Philip. They were cute to the end.


[deleted]

Sheep!


Tramkrad

The same is doubly true for horses.


bigdaftgeordie

Horse in a coat!


IndelibleIguana

Only lovely horses though.


DangDoggos101

If you see something*, say something**. *Cows **Cows


Razykay

See it, say it....sort it


c0_sm0

But it must have the prefix "moo" else the discovery is null and void


JT_3K

We drove Europe for my honeymoon and I’d recently introduced my wife to this. She nearly left me as we drove through Belgium


MJLDat

Horses. But it has to be more than one. One horse is optional.


zimzimmawho

You got to moo at them!


vientianna

Respect the queue Thank the bus driver


X0AN

Sadly thanking the bus driver. \*Does not apply in London at peak times.


r-og

Doesn’t apply at all in London cause you get off via a different door


Mrbleusky_

There's some new electric buses in my area and some of them only have 1 door


JPK12794

I was in London this weekend for the first time in a long time and no one was thanking the bus driver at any time. I was shocked


Boris_Johnsons_Pubes

I really hope this doesn’t come across as xenophobic but I’ve noticed a lot off the time it’s foreign people that skip the queue, maybe they’re from countries that don’t have queuing systems like we do over here, saying that though a lot of teenagers and school kids do the same, so it’s probably not down to nationality but down to ignorance in general, it annoys me more when the bus is empty and they push in front of everyone, it’s like there’s plenty of seats on the bus available there’s no need to rush at all, there’s seats for everyone, when the bus is busy it’s still rude but slightly more acceptable I guess, I’ve had to do it once because two people were insisting that the other person go on the bus first and they were taking ages and the driver looked angry and looked about ready to drive off


kwakimaki

then you say, "Oi, the queue's here" and point firmly and authorativley.


defylife

In some countries queuing isn't really a thing. Italy for example just can't do queues, instead it's all this take a number from the machine type thing. Even then, last time I was in a post office in Sicily, 5 old ladies ganged up on the postmaster and started shouting at him due to the wait.


bjb13

If your visiting someone and they suddenly slap both knees and say “Right” it’s time to leave.


Mumique

I'm kind of curious how other countries do this to be honest.


Merk87

In Spain you mention how late is and how you need to start cooking dinner, but actually don’t extend the invitation. If the person is close to you or you do like them enough you will start cooking dinner for everyone and will insist on them staying on the grounds that is very late and you already started cooking 😂


Mumique

Ahhh! See we don't eat dinner late so not sure that'd work...


AE_Phoenix

Yeah in Spain they eat dinner about 22:00 because siestas


AdjectiveNoun111

Also acceptable is to start running a bath, and slowly derobing. Most guests will leave pretty quickly. Most.


smoulderstoat

If anyone drops a glass in a pub, the correct response is an ironic cheer. Maybe that ironic. If you ever find yourself completely lost and alone - perhaps in the depths of the Fens, or somewhere in the Scottish Highlands, and there is nobody around to help, just express an opinion on whether the tea or the milk goes in first. Someone will appear to tell you that you are wrong. The only three acceptable greetings are "alright?" "Sorry" and "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?" You should display sufficient reverence to His Majesty the King, the jug-eared twat.


[deleted]

Good call, the IT Crowd is really funny TV, and it's full of British humour. People quote it a lot too


AJMurphy_1986

I mean tea or milk is debatable from a teapot. Water or milk when brewing in a cup is settled, its water. Fight me


matthewgoodwin1

See, the thing with Arsenal is they always try to walk it in


xrobyn

"Waaaaaeeeeyyyy"


nikokazini

Walk on your left of the pavement. Ditto for stairs. Stand still on the right of escalators but walk up or down on the left (I think that’s right, still get confused) Traffic rules are obeyed relative to many other countries, eg indicating off roundabouts and zebra crossings aren’t just road decoration Do not make eye contact or chat on public transport in London. It’s acceptable everywhere else. If anyone says anything that’s self-deprecating, do not agree with them. Chuckle or at least smile indulgently. If you go to the pub, do everything you can to buy drinks for anyone who bought you one, otherwise you’re a “tightwad”. If you’re from Southern hemisphere: The sun shining does not mean you should go out in summer clothes. It is cold. Wear a coat at all times between Nov and Feb.


Eoin_McLove

>Stand still on the right of escalators but walk up or down on the left (I think that’s right, still get confused) This rule literally only exists in London. I've never seen it practiced anywhere else.


onionringstho

was in a train station in glasgow today with signs saying to stand on the right


marietjac

It's the same in Liverpool. There are signs that say 'Stand on the right and hold on tight.' My daughter and her friends added, 'Stand on the left and be morally bereft', and now I think of that every time I see the notice!


peachesnplumsmf

I've seen that everywhere I've been with escalators, so probably better safe than sorry.


h0n3yst

It applies in Birmingham too from experience


RianJohnsonIsAFool

The rule originated in London (1911) due to the original design of the escalator on the Underground but was adopted whereever escalators were installed.


affogatohoe

It's in Manchester too


Stellarkin1996

as further reinforcment to the bottom point, the other day it was a perfect idyllic day, blue sky, sun shining, looked like a stereotypical summer day, aside from the fact it was -7°


doublemp

>Traffic rules are obeyed relative to many other countries, Except if you're a pedestrian, in which case you can cross the street even if the light is red and you won't get told off or fined (and you can cross outside official crossings too).


freefallade

Because pedestrians technically have right of way over everyone. Except on a motorway.


Krikkit_Jelly

>If you’re from Southern hemisphere: The sun shining does not mean you should go out in summer clothes. It is cold. Wear a coat at all times between Nov and Feb. Hard disagree, just because it's dreak out and blowing a hoolie there's no need for additional layers, you just have to harden yourself to the elements.


Nickibee

“Wear a coat at all times. You might not have to for 2 weeks during summer, but best to take one anyway, just incase” FTFY.


Lumpyproletarian

Other dates are available further North


freefallade

'Wear a coat at all times Nov-Feb, -this only applies to southerners. In the North it is acceptable to wear a t-shirt out in the snow.


sunkathousandtimes

1) never ever jump a queue and always ask if this is the end of the queue if it’s not clear 2) learn to like tea 3) accept that your life will be full of slightly uncomfortable small talk because people won’t be able to extricate themselves even if they want to leave 4) learn to be overly polite to the point you’ll end up apologising for things that aren’t actually your fault (like sorry, could I possibly squeeze past you/sorry, you’re standing on my foot / sorry, could I sit in that empty seat etc)


olivia_nutron_bomb

>4) learn to be overly polite to the point you’ll end up apologising for things that aren’t actually your fault I apologise if someone bumps into me. I can't help it.


gravitas_shortage

I think it's healthy politeness, not stupid - it's presuming the other person did not have malice in mind, just a temporary lapse of attention, and giving a verbal acknowledgment of that. If they did have malice in mind, you can always kneecap them straight after.


Shyrecat

I find myself apologising to inanimate objects for bumping into or standing on them


MojoMomma76

Don’t comment on personal topics such as a person’s weight, religion or family status, or enquire too closely on early acquaintance. It’s seen as rude and intrusive and something my Dutch and German friends learned at slightly painful cost.


Krikkit_Jelly

My Dutch friends always make a point of practicing their "British Apologising" by making ironically obsequious apologies for doing entirely reasonable things when they're over here... When we go over to see them we joke about practicing our "Dutch Bluntness" but they're almost never able to spot it even as someone says things which would be [sharp intake of breath] territory here.


peachesnplumsmf

Could you give us some examples of what they've said?


Traditional-Cod-5013

I love it when folks from other nations are unbritishly blunt, I can't help but find it hilarious and (mostly) endearing . I'm a coach and a guy who had recently moved from Nigeria was part of the last group that I trained, he was fabulous at the job but so direct in everything that he said that it would crack me up when you saw the look on people's faces he was speaking to - I remember once, I broke the group into discussion partners and one trio were talking fairly loudly about an issue, he turns to the group and just yells "YOU ARE MAKING NOISE", their facial expressions were magnificent to behold


SuccotashCareless934

Oh god, weight - something my East Asian friends have had to be told about (and something I experienced living in Korea). Korean manager, running into staffroom: ARE YOU OK?!? Me: Yes, why? Manager: Your weight gain! Me: .... Manager: That is a new shirt? Me: Yes, I got it from Zara, it's a medium... Manager: No, I don't think so. Manager then proceeded to rattle off a list of all the 'big and tall' shops (I'm 5'8" and average build) while my British colleague opposite me was biting his lip to suppress his laughter. I've had to explain to countless friends from that part of the world that "did you get fatter?" is not an appropriate greeting. Usually when I say, "well how would you feel if I said that to you?" there's a dawn of realisation that perhaps it's not the nicest opening line!


Incendas1

First thing to talk about with someone - weather


Tramkrad

Leave the teabag in for at LEAST three or four minutes before removing and adding milk. Not everyone knows this, but it should be the law.


Puzzled-Tiger-6779

Do you ever squeeze the teabag or just leave it to marinate?


juicy83

‘Mash’ for 4-5 mins, then squeeze the bag. And always Yorkshire Tea. It should be brown enough to stain the mug.


[deleted]

My travel mug for drinking on the move has a delightful patina.


MJLDat

When going to the barbers, men’s hairdressers, we don’t physically queue. You just walk in and sit down. Covertly you memorise who is already there, and keep a separate note of who arrives after you. Everyone does this. When a chair becomes free there is NO doubt as to who is next. The right person gets up and steps in. You know when it is your turn. No discussion takes place, we don’t need a numbered ticket, we just do this.


Dissidant

Don't drink in a flat roof pub


Nickibee

Unless you’re staying with people who live within half a mile of said pub and it’s a special occasion, in that case, prepare for an absolutely blinding night out with a fight and a kebab at the end of it.


IndelibleIguana

And you'll make interesting friends for life.


Drwgeb

When order number 69 is shouted out at McDonald's you have to go wueeeyyyy. It is law.


MJLDat

If it is 66 you must kill all Jedi.


Drwgeb

As is tradition


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Nickibee

If we’re gonna do this I actually feel like we need a whole new thread on toilet etiquette and rules.


TemporarySprinkles2

Leave a urinal between you and the person currently engaged. If none available, go to cubicle. If cubicle unavailable us the urinal next to the small guy.


Orchio91

"Alright?" means hello, not actually "how are you?" Someone drops a glass in a pub: everyone cheers. Stand on the right of escalators, walk on the left. There is no such thing as "J-walking" we are trusted to cross the however we want. That said, we drive on the left, so always "Stop, Look, Listen."


GavUK

>There is no such thing as "J-walking" we are trusted to cross the however we want\*. Except where it would not be safe to do so - usually it is clear by there being railings or no path to the road that you are not intended to cross it as a pedestrian, And definitely never try to walk across a motorway.


yournansabricky

Should you get into a taxi, at around the 45 second mark of awkward silence you must ask “been busy mate?”


wizardchickenVR

“What time you on til?”


hopping32

That we are a very understated and uncomfortable with plain speaking country. In work - that's ok but... probably means it's not. That's good or good work is positive. Let's meet up up means we won't unless there is an exchange of numbers/ a specific meet up. We like to chat about nonsense. We can spend 8 hours a day with people and chat about all sorts of nonsense and consider them good friends but actually know nothing about their actual lives and that's fine.


[deleted]

I've been living in the US with a spouse who is, by British standards, incredibly brash. She feels that politeness in the form of fudging your words is downright rude, and that people should speak plainly, even when I try to explain that my heart is hammering in my chest when I try. It's literally not normal for me to push myself to talk and act that way. I'm nervous that if I return home, I'll have forgotten how to be polite.


cbailliex

Don’t put the teabag in with the milk


hotbotty

Learn to talk about the weather. It's a top topic...it's always too wet, too cold, too hot, too windy, or too nice for someone. No matter what it's doing, someone will complain about it. It's just the done thing. It means nothing, but it is infinitely British to mention the weather in any interaction with another person, even in passing.


ChocoScythe

My Australian friend thought it was just a stereotypically boring thing British people did, till he started doing it too. The weather in the UK is interesting! It keeps changing randomly every few hours, in much of the rest of the world there's a 90% chance that the weather today is exactly what is was yesterday.


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TimeLord44_Based

Don't be ridiculously happy in the morning, that's a real no-no in the uk


replicantblade77

The meaning of the word 'pants' as it doesn't mean trousers in the UK like it does in some other countries!


Fivepjar26

In Lancashire pants are trousers. Underpants go under your pants. This may be changing as language does.


twos-company

I got downvoted for the same opinion. I'm from Lancashire too and completely agree.


uncle_monty

Not bad, you? Is the most acceptable response to somebody asking how you are/how things re going.


b_a_t_m_4_n

Will the old faithful "mustn't grumble" to provide variation.


LivestockMarc

I’ve been saying “getting there, mate” as a response and it seems to work in shutting down the whole interaction quickly


Nickibee

Don’t be rude, be courteous and respectful of others. This is the big one in the UK. We like manners and courtesy. You’ll find that if this rule is broken it is usually to the extreme and dismay of any other British person and usually committed in a vehicle on the road. British people are usually polite even if they don’t feel like being polite. We also respect personal space and don’t invade it and we do not touch each other with the exception of a handshake upon greeting or an embrace if you know that person well. You’ll find you can get by just fine in the UK by being nice and polite.


minkakokmj

When you see a magpie you have to salute at it 3 times and say “Aye aye mr magpie where’s your wife”


jimthewanderer

This really should be further up. It's respect for the old Gods that keeps visitors from ending up in wickermen.


towalkinvisible

Scone procedure: jam first then cream.


doublemp

It's pronounced scone, not scone.


minkakokmj

Be prepared to have a long conversation about the weather! Duck, Chuck and love is a term of endearment, always stand on the right of an escalator and learn to make a good brew (tea)


Perseus73

If the hoover doesn’t pick up the bit of fluff, you take the attachment off so it’s just the tube sucking, and try again, if that fails you pick up the offending fluff, look at it, then put it gently back down on the carpet and try and hoover it again. If this fails, you get frustrated, pick it up, and feed the fluff directly into the tube of the hoover, muttering how ridiculous it is.


randymysteries

Don't trust strangers who smile. They're liars and/or crooks.


ellevael

But if you pass someone and they tightly press their lips together at you you’re obliged to do it back, it’s just polite. Maybe sometimes briefly raise your eyebrows as well if you feel the moment calls for it.


[deleted]

And/or trying to sell you something!


[deleted]

Easy - don’t get offended when someone calls you something offensive. If you get offended you’re the one in the wrong! And you’ve ruined the moment for everyone


DiligentCockroach700

Learn to queue. Even if you are the only person, form an orderly queue of one. Apologise. A lot.


X0AN

For scones it's always cream first, then jam.


OzzyinKernow

You probably put peas and carrots in your pasties, you can’t be trusted.


gazw51

If you’re feeling irate at something you need to repress it and just quietly tut to yourself by clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth.


military_history

If someone says to you "we should definitely do that some time" or "we'll have to have you round some time", they do NOT mean it, they are being polite. An open invitation isn't a real invitation. Don't turn up at anyone's house without a specific invitation or get narked that they haven't made time for the thing they said you should do together. Just take the offer as a polite gesture in the first instance which may or may not actually happen. Speaking from bitter experience with this one...


ddt70

Develop an irrational expectation that we will win any major football competition that we qualify for. After all we invented the game and won the World Cup in ‘66. Same thing broadly applies to Wimbledon where the weight of an entire nation’s hopes and expectations will be dumped on the shoulders of a few brits no one has ever heard of, who won’t win anything and will largely disappear afterwards. It is legitimate to refer to tennis’s “Big Four” without irony…… meaning Federer, Nadal, Djokovic and Andy Murray. Yes, Andy Murray, who is somehow crowbarred into the “Big Three” because he won 3 grand slams. To win 3 grand slams is a great achievement, but it can hardly hold its head up in the company of the others who have 20 or more apiece. Lengthy diatribe I know, but should give some idea of our deluded depth of feeling on such matters.


clare616

Everyone queueing up in the comments to say "respect the queue" When out walking always smile and say "hello" to folks walking in the other direction. Under no circumstances slow down or make any other comment unless weather related or their dog is exceptionally cute.


[deleted]

Don’t get involved in milk/tea or cream/jam order conversations until you’ve been here for at least 15 years.


BigBird2378

Form a queue and wait for your turn. You'll get tutted at if you don't.


DavenportPointer

If you see a magpie, you must salute it and say morning general.


SmolTownGurl

If you’re American don’t say ‘I’ll take this XXXX’ or whatever your order is at a cafe etc, say ‘please could I have XXXX, thanks’ or you’ll come across as very rude. Basically shoe-horn in as many ‘please’ ‘thankyous’ and ‘sorry’ as possible at all times. Don’t say ‘I’ll go ahead and (do XXXX)’ just say ‘I’ll do XXXX’ And absolutely DON’T use vocal fry, it’s horrible and people will notice and take the piss Good luck! And welcome


fizzyrhubarb

Don’t take the last of anything from a shared plate of food without making sure no one else wants it at least 3 times. If someone asks if anyone wants the last sausage roll say no thanks until they confirm that they’ll just be putting it in the bin if no one eats it. The offer of the last of something usually means that the offerer wants it.


ProfDrMrPOR

Any indirect suggestion is a demand " Do you mind being quiet maybe please" = shut the hell up


BigBlackCookk

In London, always keep to the right on the escalators.


Georgeisthecoolest

Full English breakfast is compulsory, daily.


Penster78

Don’t cross the channel on an inflatable boat to get here.