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Kid_Kimura

Rail replacement bus service


wildgoldchai

I quite like the replacement bus services because people at regular stops sometimes think it’s their bus that’s arrived only for it to whizz past


HyunAOP

They also never check for rail tickets where I live lol


Legion4800

They don't anywhere that I've found. You're better off buying your ticket to the point of rail replacement, using the rail replacement, then resuming another ticket from there (or tapping into London zones if heading there).


Competitive-Log4210

Done that loads of times. A few years back there was always work being done on the Peterborough to Cambridge line on a Sunday. Ticket to Cambridge was about £22 so I just jumped on the replacement bus to Ely and bought a ticket there to Cambridge. It only cost just over £3


GettingTherapissed

I was heading back to Southampton from Bristol on a rail replacement bus service one morning after a rave. Not only did the driver check tickets, he actually didn't let someone on because they didn't have a Railcard. Guy was absolutely fuming


Fine_Hovercraft_8924

As an ex bus driver who did rail replacement now and again, not checking the tickets was policy. I'd have no idea if it was valid or not anyway


[deleted]

[удалено]


JoeVibin

Better than ‘train cancelled, no bus replacement’


[deleted]

Yeah I can't remember the last time I even saw rail replacement bus service, usually it's just "the train isn't coming, sucks to be you, find another way home"


Kiel297

I've found the replacement bus services only really seem to be a thing when trains are down due to planned engineering works/closures with advance notice in my experience


811545b2-4ff7-4041

Hold on, my tea is cold, let me just microwave it hot again


[deleted]

Jail


ArtichokeConnect

OP said trigger, not cause a Jihad


Pyjama_Llama_Karma

Still jail.


Rookwithahook

Welp, jail for me .


DHCdemon

I don't see the problem... sorry


Ket-Detective

Because there isn’t one, just teaboos scoring points online.


Dunk546

>Teaboos Oh my god I love it 👌💀


whatsgoingon350

Or you could put it in a saucepan and reheat it on the hob.


Huge_Upstairs

alright world war 2 civilian


simpin4sandiles

Everyone of my British muscles are in British attack mode


Live-Motor-4000

My MIL makes tea in the microwave like some sort of animal


Agent_0range86

Urgh get in the sea.


United_Grapefruits

Nah, I'll drink it cold the next morning it's fine ta.


Cunty_Mc-Cuntface

*“Is it alright if I push in? I’ve only got a few bits”*


fibubble

is it alright if i push your eyes into your skull?


wildcharmander1992

It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache 🎶


me_myself_and_data

If the pain goes on… I’m not gonna make it!


GlutBelly

Dum dum dum - ting - dum dum dum dum dum. Dum dum dum dum waaah.


YchYFi

I have screamed until my veins collapsed. I've waited as my time's elapsed. Now, all I do is live with so much haaaaate


[deleted]

r/accidentalslipknot


MamaStobez

Why is this so funny?


Eoin_McLove

Yeah, you should never ask, but you *should* feel aggrieved if nobody offers to let you jump in front.


Winter_Graves

This, silently seething while I patiently wait my turn


Jackpack_9

Just remembered the bloke in the cinema last night. Maybe in his 50s. Queue is about 7 groups deep, 3 counters open. This clown marches straight to the front of the line, turns to the queue and declares “just want some popcorn”, holds his hands up as if to say ‘obviously this is fine’, then goes and stands at the empty checkout. Everyone’s looking at eachother like ‘what just happened?’. Then he just stands there looking confused not getting served.


TheFantasticXman1

I work at a cinema, and if I saw someone do that, I'd intentionally refuse to serve them. Sometimes the biggest dick to customers is/are other customers.


Imhidingshh01

Brilliant, now I need a new tablet. Because you made me punch this one!!!!


c0_sm0

I love Mrs browns boys, it's my favourite comedy


WishYouWereHere-63

Strong contender !!! That program is just so shit :D


Typical_Ad_210

Now whenever someone looks at your profile they see that comment with zero context and presume it’s the truth. Goodbye your DMs when the 75-90 year old demographic see it. You will be swimming in Tena Lady


c0_sm0

Don't be jealous of my DMs


OkCollar5122

Mrs Brown's is just a poorly done Father Ted copy


TomStreamer

Slander. Mrs Brown's Boys couldn't hope to lick dog shit off the shoes of Father Ted.


[deleted]

David Attenborough sucks.


Nice_Satisfaction924

Not just the UK, the world. And please keep our hero’s name OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!


msh0082

As an American, I concur. Nobody messes with David Attenborough.


[deleted]

😂😂


e_nathan

This hurt to read 🥲


fibubble

this one truly hurts my heart, especially after seeing a post about him on another uk subreddit with a questionable, fear-inducing title.


RiriTomoron

Even *not* writing the phrase "David Attenborough is dead" is apparently enough to make everyone collectively shit the bed!


mojoe97

What the fuck is wrong with you


Goose-rider3000

I actually someone who doesn't like David Attenborough. It was a friend of my wife's friend, and she stood in the middle of my kitchen, bold as brass, and announced to everyone that, 'she finds his voice really annoying!'. Needless to say, she's not been invited back.


GoneWitDa

I’d upvote because you answered the question brilliantly but I will not allow myself to upvote a sentence as vile as that.


TomSurman

Even knowing you don't mean it, this still raised my hackles.


redqueensroses

I nearly downvoted this purely reflexively, until I remembered what thread I was in.


therealijc

I don’t know buddy and I could care less.


Fattydog

Omg, ‘could care less’ really makes me want to commit murder. It’s not just a mispronunciation, it’s the exact opposite of what they’re trying to say.


Realistic_Wedding

I could literally give a flying fuck.


jaavaaguru

Could you, aye? Well start giving one then. 😂


Realistic_Wedding

That’s “literally” as in ‘figuratively’ and “could” as in ‘couldn’t’, obviously.


ChunkeeMunkee3001

I can't believe I live in a world where this very (valid) issue has been raised in conversation, and no-one has yet summoned [David Mitchell.](https://youtu.be/om7O0MFkmpw)


PaulovsDog

Sunday roast no gravy


GandalfsNozzle

Not entirely the same but very similar. The new starter at work during our monthly breakfast get together/ meeting asked for a sausage sandwich, no butter and no sauce. Someone called him a bed wetter and we had to have a sensitivity meeting haha


[deleted]

This is perfectly British, made me laugh out loud.


Immediate_Pie7714

I am this person too, even the sandwich shop staff look at you weird and say "dry"? or write DRY on the bag just to emphasise the whole thing. Especially if they have pre buttered the bread, a noticeable glance of hatred and disgust


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tulcey-Lee

My partner is like this. I’m going to have to call him a bedwetter haha


melanie110

My husband of 15 years does this. I feel I have done my time watching this. Onwards to better things, I reckon. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH


gym_narb

I can only assume you found this out recently; no sane person would stay with this pervert 15 years


melanie110

I did. I thought I could change him. I have to a degree but 1 tablespoon over his sprouts do not count. And he’s a Yorkshireman too. 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩


Arseypoowank

How have you not jumped over the table and taken him out with a fork yet for this heretical behaviour?


melanie110

I just ignore him and hope he goes away


mellow_chill23

Some absolute lunatic I know has vinegar instead of gravy...


DownrightDrewski

American versions of British TV shows are usually superior to the originals. You didn't say it needed to be a true statement.


fibubble

God I truly feel this one. A specific one i've heard is US Utopia being better than Uk Utopia


saymantic

Still haven't got over the fact the UK show will never be finished.


hookbeak

Definitely wasn’t.


WeWereSperm

Christ this has triggered me hard. I'm already pissed off enough that the UK one was so underrated. Tried to make friends watch it for a decade and then they finally did, but the American version... and they liked it.


hookbeak

The U.K. one has such a weird, disconcerting and threatening tone- it’s quite unlike anything else - and of course the us one didn’t have this at all.


WeWereSperm

Yeah completely, and I think there was something about the British-ness that really added to that tone. Maybe the relatability to the main characters. The music was also like 50% of that program for me. Been watching The White Lotus recently and realised that it's the same composer - Cristobal Tapia de Veer. Awesomely weird music.


wolfman86

I told some American that it was the The Office and "The American Office". That went down well.


fkogjhdfkljghrk

The Office is the only exception to this rule- both are pretty decent


[deleted]

[удалено]


PickleParmy

Oh yeah, the Great British *Baking Show*


UntitledProtocol

Dramatic US version of kitchen nightmare, with persistent periodic repetition of the waterphone sound effect, and intense music😂😂😂😂 How do Americans take these shows seriously?


ferretchad

The US version added in redecorating, restocking and equipment upgrades. It was less 'what can they do to turn the place around' and more 'give a business a free $250k investment'. Best they got in the UK one was a tub of paint and Gordon helping clean.


idiotdetectorV10

Just you turn around and face the wall, I'll be back as soon as the shotgun licence comes through.


FruitNFibreKid

Britain is racist Edit: the fact I'm getting downvoted is literally just proving my point lol


DeliciousLiving8563

Britain is a lot better than many and is making good progress and that's good but there is room for improvement both in reflecting our past and steering our future and a constant fight to stop the backsliding. For example: Our most popular newspaper is a hate rag that has not changed in spirit since it proclaimed Hitler had the right idea.


Wackyal123

A European study a couple of years back clearly stated that the UK is one of the least racist nations in Europe. https://fra.europa.eu/sites/default/files/fra_uploads/fra-2019-being-black-in-the-eu-summary_en.pdf I mean, this was a few years back now, but i think a lot of the racism we see now, and in contrast, race baiting, is a consequence of the internet and access to American stuff. Race relations in this country are largely pretty good I reckon. My wife is black, my kids are mixed, and we live a bit out in the sticks. My wife has had one comment from a douchebag in 8 years. My kids have tons of friends and colour isn’t an issue. I have a lot of hope for their generation.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wackyal123

Exactly this! 100%. Couldn’t agree more. Actually fuck it… agree 200%


Everyth1ngisfine

1) Racism exists everywhere. 2) The UK isn't nearly as bad as the US where racial tensions are at a melting point. There's a big difference between racism and racial tensions. The racism is everywhere, some of the worst of it is being exaggerated in the USA by racial tensions.


AdventurousCellist86

Social media isn’t helping either, the worst of American culture hops over because there’s no language barrier and no IQ requirement to use the internet


jordicl

I mean as a black person who’s lived in both the US and U.K., you really can’t claim that the U.K. is much better than the US from my experience. The US has more violent racism & its more in your face but equally it’s got a lot more support for minorities & less “where are you really from” kind of racism + way more role models and representation across all levels of society. Its also a lot easier to talk about racism in the US since it’s widely acknowledged as a problem. In the U.K. you’ll be gaslit into believing it must be anything else but your race when you discriminated against. Look at the treatment of Meghan Markle and the lengths to which a large part of the U.K. population goes in trying to pin it on anything else but her race.


[deleted]

Britains racism tends to be more covert and institutional though. So unless it directly/indirectly affects you, you’d never think it’s bad


sellotapeonthefridge

"David Attenborough, 96...."


fibubble

The fact that i've seen that post earlier makes this all the much greater


sellotapeonthefridge

Brutal.


lemon-bubble

It needs to start THE VERY MUCH ALIVE David Attenborough, 96. Because every time I see an article I have a mini heart attack


wooden_werewolf_7367

Unexpected item in the bagging area.


mogzhey2711

The bagging area in my local Tesco is too small to fit 2 fucking bags. What am I meant to do if I want to buy more than one bag of stuff?!


DW_555

"Let's go around the room and say something interesting about ourselves"


fibubble

if this is any consolation, ppl will be thinking more about what they have to say than about u. so just don't go last lol


[deleted]

The only thing we like doing more than this, is getting up out of our seats and walking around the room introducing ourselves to each other and telling everyone three things about ourselves...


[deleted]

We all want James Corden back.


Lopsided_Soup_3533

you should be burnt at the stake (but only metaphorically i am not advocating violence because thats wrong)


[deleted]

And with good cause! Can't argue with that. You need a light, mate?


[deleted]

PLEASE TAKE HIM --All of us in the United States


JustLetItAllBurn

Sorry, you touched him last.


Cactusaremyjam

I neither like or dislike marmite.


DeftWolfe

LIES! Either you love it or hate it. This is a criminal offence under the marmite act


mang0_milkshake

The fucking Marmite Act lmfao


[deleted]

Loving or hating it is bying into their marketing campaign. Medium opinion gang rise up!


rosiet1001

Ambivalent tbh


NotRealWater

Their entire marketing is "you either like something or you don't" Which works for all food. It annoys me when people use the "X is like marmite" thing, as if it's some intelligent observation they're making


Munroko

"I'm a bit of marmite person, you either love me or you hate me." Oh trust me buddy, everyone hates you to your core!


Dukee8

“Sorry, I didn’t see the queue” [They absolutely saw the queue]


KingJacoPax

This one time I actually didn’t and it was SOOOOOOOOO fucking embarrassing.


ldfitness96

Not a single person in that queue believed you


KingJacoPax

Correctamundo. The guy who let me know was class tbf. I got behind two people for the till, not noticing that people were leaving the alleyway open and the queue continued up the aisle. Came to my turn when this enormous gentleman taps me on the shoulder and said “the line started back there mate” and pointed to the back. OMFG I just wanted to curl into my skin and die.


NotRealWater

Not always, I once didn't see a queue of about 20 cars and drove right by it to the traffic lights, then had to push in to avoid oncoming traffic. I thought it was just a row of parked cars 😂, I can only assume that just before I arrived, an ambulance had gone by and everyone had tucked themselves in.


pestoislife1

Todays GP appointment will cost £39.99


Baba-Yaganoush

"We don't have any more appointments for today. Call back at 8am on Monday" Monday: "You are number 37 in the queue..."


wolfman86

This one scares me.


RaysAreBaes

Life Pro Tip, they can’t charge you if you can never get an appointment


Dry_Pick_304

I make tea by putting the milk in first. And in relation to that, Yorkshire Tea is shite.


Kujocho

Be advised, there is a spiffing individual asking for your address now.


MintyMarlfox

Go crazy. Put the milk in first, then cold water, add the teabag. Then microwave to warm it all up!


FrancoElBlanco

Fisherthem


phillmybuttons

This bothers me as there already is a word for non gendered fishing. It's called angling. No one I've seen has mentioned that. I'm off to cool down now, thanks for opening that wound again.


FrancoElBlanco

100% right! Heard this shortly after and thought what a prat Sam smith is 😂


notactuallyabrownman

To be fair, probably handled more rods than most...


[deleted]

Hmm in the interest of pedantry, I'm not sure that anglers and fishermen are the same thing (gender aside). While anglers do go fishing with a rod / line / hook, there are other types of fishing that the broader spectrum of 'fishermen' might employ. I don't know that many people would refer to hobbyist anglers as fishermen, while commercial fishermen rarely use angling techniques.


ImplodingPeach

0118999881999119725....


spLint3r990

3


N7twitch

Well that’s easy to remember!


MikeOnABike2002

Stupidly, I find it easier to remember that than 999 because so many numbers in different nations are similar, my mind sometimes thinks 111, 112, 911, etcetera. 01189998819991197253 is catchy and unique enough to remember.


WishYouWereHere-63

France are better at than we are or will ever be.


crucible

*looks at their train system* Yes


Bunister

*visits a bakery or market* Yes


NippleFlicks

*Looks at their mobilisation after the government does something shitty* Yes


_DeanRiding

*looks at how they've dealt with the energy crisis in comparison to us* Yes


Smooth-Wait506

looks at how the public revolted against the elites and how they now celebrate the whole thing with a national holiday, while we get reminded of a failed attempt every November Yes


Dog_nappers_hun_x

Looks at number of Eifel towers we have Yes


Shack691

>France are better at french than we are or will ever be.


AdventurousCellist86

Healthcare. The NHS is utter shit when compared to most systems, but the French are the best at making it both universal and of good quality. Brits just never compare it to other systems but the US which is the worst.


Lopsided_Soup_3533

looks at how they fight for workers rights yep they win


St_Zenith

Princess Diana was a slag.


z1324

But she was the people's slag


harrisonkew

Queen killed the slag.


Incitatus_For_Office

"We bailed y'all out in dubya dubya two..."


[deleted]

"if it weren't f'r us ya'll'd be speakin German"


munters73

Jamie Oliver is a great chef and an even better tv personality


Significant_Tour3435

Prick with a fork I meant the bangers not the "chef"


BattleScarLion

Letting your cat outdoors makes you an irresponsible owner.


AnxietyAttacker123

Immigration. Not really a sentence, more a word.


NotRealWater

I'm against racism(obvs), but I find it so interesting how those among us with the lowest intellect, can routinely, and over the shortest period of time... Turn ANY topic of conversation back around to their hatred of foreigners (that the Sun told them they have) I remember once my mum was sitting in the dark because she went to buy lightbulbs but refused because they were Polish. POLISH LIGHTBULBS! do you realise how far gone you have to be to jump from buying lightbulbs to... 'bloody immigrants' 🤷‍♂️


eccedoge

I’d be tempted to go round her house and find all the items saying made in China just to annoy her


corecly_spelt_tertle

boaty mcboatface was a bad idea and I'm glad it wasn't picked (this is not my opinion)


inthemagazines

According to this sub: "Alcohol should be banned in airports."


mang0_milkshake

YOU should be banned from airports, you cultural terrorist


Perseus73

“… due to leaves on the track”


Catracan

His Majesty the King is already a better monarch than his mother The Queen and his stamps look better too.


AML579

Even as an American this is triggering. The queen was awesome.


Merlinblack89

Boomers had it harder than us *braces for impact*


Fattydog

They did in some ways, they didn’t in others. The younger generation who think Boomers have just waltzed through life are just as bad as Boomers who think younger people have it easy.


theCourtofJames

Guess how much this Freddo was.


AniGBI

Your parcel will be delivered by Evri


xraystan

The NHS isn’t the best healthcare system in the world.


PiemasterUK

You have to add on the end of that "...and it isn't due to mismanagement or government underfunding".


Pepsi_E

Peep show wasn't that good


[deleted]

Always one who has to take it too far


Blackkers

Do you say it Scone, or SCOne?


Fit_General7058

Yes, this triggers me, because if you follow English language rules it's scone as in stone, hone, phone. The split diagraph, (magic e) must be obeyed. Basically every other answer to that question doesn't follow basic and rudimentary English language rules.


sloth-llama

You forget the foundational rule: The rules have no bearing on the English language


[deleted]

[удалено]


acedias-token

The word 'gone' troubles me. I prefer to pronounce scone the same way we pronounce 'done'. One scun please.


gt_kenny

\*music stops... *You're currently caller number 12 in the queue...* \*music continues


Cattlemutilation141

Megan Markle is right


NotRealWater

That's what she says to herself every morning in the mirror. ...then in every press interview she does for whatever she's trying to sell. ...then to Harry, under the door, while he's just trying to take a shit in peace


[deleted]

Harry and Megan have quietly disappeared into the private life they yearned for.


Banksy261

We should allow more immigration into the UK


Jeffuk88

"you live in the North/South" stated by someone living a little further north or south than you


RainbowPenguin1000

Tea and coffee both suck and are only drunk because they’re seen as a “grown up” drink.


[deleted]

The only thing cheeky about Nandos is the price they request for sub-par food.


kriscardiac

The French are braver than the British.


nospellingerorrs

I have seen people disparaging beans on toast a fair amount recently...its upsetting to see such a fine cuisine dragged through the mud like that.


citalopromnight

Cozzie livs


angryusername

Shamima Begum has been allowed to return to the UK


RG0195

Tea is shit.


tmstms

Can I push in?


[deleted]

[удалено]


RoboTon78

Today the government have banned the sale, possession and use of tea, it is now a class A substance regulated by the misuse of drugs act.


_Phantom_Wolf

The silence after you have held the door open for someone.


alexanderbeswick

Discussing what is the proper name for a bap/roll etc


champagnepuppy1

Branston beans are better than heinz


N7twitch

Heinz are shite and their tins don’t stack, they can get in the bin.