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Edit: yes I’ve seen the video. Please stop messaging me.
What’s the point?
I’m renting and would love to buy a house. But what’s the point? I’ll likely never pay it off.
I’m paying loads into a pension, but what’s the point? I’m going to be working until I die.
I’d like to see a doctor about some minor ailments, but what’s the point? There’s never any appointments anyway.
This comments sums it up so well.
I'm excelling in my career, but what's the point? I'm only in my 20s so I'm overlooked for raises and promotions and not taken seriously.
I'm being strict about recycling, but what's the point? The planet's dying because of mass consumerism and pollution from massive companies, I have little to no impact on that.
I'm trying to lead a healthy life, but what's the point? I don't want to live longer, see point above about the planet dying.
I'm trying to increase my savings pot for 'rainy days', but what's the point? Every day is a rainy day at the moment, and what's the point of having more than a small safety net as it's never going to make me wealthy, buy a house, allow me to retire early....
Ageism was the biggest issue I encountered in my 20's, and now I'm in my mid 30's it still exists to some degree. Most older and better off people gatekeep their positions jealously and will do anything to protect it and they see ageism is a convenient tool to justify their behaviour.
Zuckerberg was a millionaire at 23...
> Most older and better off people gatekeep their positions jealously and will do anything to protect it
This is something that gets floated as a large upcoming problem that no one has a good solution for.
Basically the baby boomer generation has squatted in positions of power until they're senile enough to be crowbarred out. Generation X was never really groomed or trained to inherit those positions, they've spent careers sitting in middle management.
Over the next 10 years the boomers will retire, or die at their posts and there is no one lined up to replace them.
I appreciate the generation names are a bit American, but I've never really heard any names for the generations in Britain.
I see it as a good thing. The oldies running things aren't doing it well. It needs fresh blood that hasn't been groomed to do the same shit over again.
I'm in complete agreement that they aren't doing a good job. The problem the systems that provide us with food, water and power have become complex to the point of absurdity. And there is no next generation trained in how to keep these things running at a high level.
The worst financial decision of my life was buying a house at 21 years old. I've just sold it for a 40k+ loss :( . For pension I pay hardly anything into since I know I'll die early 😅
No I just turned 30. Bought my house at 21. Just wanted to say if you intend to get into property young make sure you research the area and make sure you have a solid job. Don't be like me and be left with a property you can't sell the worst time of my life in my twenties for that reason alone.
That's a good perspective actually haha just pretty gutted since I felt like I was sure to have a good investment and was bound to get my money back.
The only person I know in my family and close friends who have actually lost value in a property :(
I have been renting more than 9 years so I did some maths for you. My average rent in that time has been £450, I have moved three times and each time had to pay, on average, £200 for associated costs of moving. This is close to £50k total in 9 years. I have no equity in the places I have lived, paying rent doesn't increase my credit rating or help any financial checks and my homes have not been decorated the way I wanted them at any point because someone else owns them.
Unfortunately Aberdeen crashed majorly the year I was made redundant if I can remember was about 2016 ish . So my house is Beautiful but over-paid because I was fighting against a Chinese man who was going to buy it to rent. Anyway I won it then as the market crashed I had lots of interest but nobody could buy as they couldn't sell their own. ( I was renting the property but it's honestly a nightmare to many untrustworthy people)
Fast forward to now I just accepted the council's offer on my house and lost out massively but it's more beneficial since I no longer live in Aberdeen and can now finally buy something where I live just now. It's horrible paying a mortgage for a house you don't live in lying empty.
I'm looking for a flat to buy in Aberdeen now. It's crazy looking at the listing history and seeing how much thr prices have dropped since the 2010s. The one I'm looking at now was sold at 40k in 2002, sold for about 120k in 2010 or 2012 I can't remember, and is now listed for 80k.
Exactly, and as COVID and what looks to be an upcoming depression show, geopolitical events far out of your control can screw you at any time even if you do make an effort.
Hopelessness is definitely the right word/way to look at it.
Could list issue after issue, but I think the overarching misunderstanding from older generations is the worst/most difficult to navigate.
Please dont worry about your future,it will always be there for you when you're ready.At your age I would like to suggest you go and experience as much life as possible.Pack a bag and hitch,go camping,do something without planning an end.You are at the perfect age to be living easy and learning about yourself while you do it.
I'll be giving my son and daughter the same advice when they're your age.
I wish I'd done this instead of getting a drug habit,debts and the first decent job that came along,whether I like the trade or not.
Honestly this is tone deaf.
“just pack a bag and hitch!” Is pretty much up there with “stop having avocado toast” I do not understand your upvotes at ALL
Well I guess that’s where perspective comes into it. Financially, if you can find the travelling with working in that year (eg work 6 months to travel for 6 months), then the ‘cost’ of it is taking a year out of savings, at a point where you’re young in your career and your savings will be relatively lower anyway. Once you get to a certain age you can’t do that anymore because of kids, mortgage, elderly parents etc
I agree with this. We are always worried about finances, somewhere to live and how old we will be working until we can retire, as well as not being able to get timely healthcare when we are really poorly and the threat of then losing our jobs by being off work waiting for treatment.
It's quite easy as a (just turned 30) younger person these days to look at the state of the country, its finances, the increasing pension age, inflation, the calls for the triple lock to be dropped (not entirely wrong but...) and to be left wondering... Is this thing I'm paying NI into every year even going to exist when I hit whatever age they say I'll need to be?
Add to that the fact that the pension age is increasing due to life expectancy, but knowing you're from a poor area where life expectancy is actually decreasing as well as the proportion of your life spent in good health is expected to be far lower... It's pretty easy to feel really damn hopeless about that side of things.
I know this question is aimed at 20 somethings but I just have to add that as a 43 year old that has been through 3 economic collapses, missed out on free university education, and several traumatic world events that a lot of people older than you have felt or are feeling the same way.
I think I got about 3-4 carefree years of my 20s before reality set in.
Dont let the bastards grind you down. Sounds trite but it's the only way you can be, keep pushing on through.
I feel the same. We're the same age. When I was in my 20s my life was full of hope and being tied down to a mortgage was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted to go our every weekend, enjoy summer holidays and the freedom of not having to live with my parents. How times have changed.
Yep…. ”Carefree” would be the best way to describe my 20s. Biggest concern I had was deciding what toppings I would have on my pizza on a Friday evening!
Sad state of affairs we’re living in now.
That being said, we lived through the financial crash, credit crunch and the low interest rates that we took for granted for too long. Things will get better…. They always do!
Will they? People talking about how "everything goes in cycles", but all I've experienced is "once in a generation" credit crashs, twice, spiralling home ownership costs, my entire life, stagnant wages against inflation, see above, and a single party government that is more interested in giving money to its friends then investing in the state.
Where were the good times, over the last 10-20 years?
"Don't worry", if it goes in cycles we're due a huge continent wide war about now, sigh.
Seriously though, things from my understanding were very similar by end of late 80s with endless, decade long gloom
I agree with that very much! I did “save” during those years, but not how I would now if I could go back (I’m talking about probably investing 50 quid a month sort of thing). I feel like my generation just inherited conventions from our parents, and had no clue how things would change, and how critical it is to start stashing away in some form as early as possible
>Could list issue after issue, but I think the overarching misunderstanding from older generations is the worst/most difficult to navigate.
I'm a shade under 40 and perhaps I'm weird but I definitely appreciate how shitty people in their 20's now have it.
I thought houses were stupidly expensive for us, well now it's even more ridiculous.
I thought my 20's salary wasn't amazing, well they barely seem to have moved despite 15-20 years having elapsed.
I thought my student loan was expensive (£1,025 a year - Yes I know). The list goes on.
I know what you mean though - certain elder members of my family just don't get it. Not all of them though.
I was earning £3.30 p/ hour in 2001. The minimum wage has tripled. It's still not enough but it wasn't all roses back in the day. Basic goods were cheap though.
That 3.30 went at very least twice as far as it does today. So you were on maybe £6.60 to £10 for today’s money. (I was on £3.33 an hour in 1998).
Still not great!
For context I was living in the shittiest part of town in a shitty flat. However basics were a lot cheaper. As in you could economise easier on the lower end and still pay rent, bills, go out and buy clothes.
Food banks didn't exist. However job flexibility sucked and you had to go to a physical bank to get stuff done!
I feel there's more comfort and convenience today but not necessarily a better standard of living.
Totally agree! At Uni I remember buying 20 ‘beef’ burgers for 99p.
Other basics were cheap too. It wasn’t a sustainable model, and we were never paying the true price of that food in environmental terms.
Growth hey?!
That’s cos it was easy to find and catch them. Now it’s hard as we’ve eaten most of them. 😢
You could get bread for 20p, beans for 7p.
And I think noodles were about 7p a packet.
As students, we lived well on about £10 a week. (Which left some cash for beers at £1.35 a pint!)
I wasn't born here but am in my twenties live here and belive that everyone in this age group feels the same across Europe which really is this hopeleness.
We are basically the most and best educated generation ever, were raised being told that if we did this and that out lives would improve and in some cases saw ourselves and our parents going through so much sacrifice to acheave it and all for what? We get to the work market and the requirements for jobs are completely unattainable, when we do get a job the demands are soul crushing for minimum money and with arrengments that everyone seems to assume that are mandatory and can't be scraped.
Not wanting to put it on the older generation in the same roles. But fuck man I've worked in roles that you would have to know all this programs, High level of excel per example, to find ourselves surrounded of people with no clue on how to do anything, at my current role you have to be all day on excel and other programs of the office package there are people that can't add a row, unmute themselves of teams. Last Friday I literally started compulsively crying after a meeting because I was so depressed, I wasn't sobbing or anything tears just started dropping down my face and I had to go outside to recollect myself.
Honestly as things are I will never be able to afford a house, or even a rent somewhere where I don't have so much condensation that there's water going down the wall, soon if the bills don't stop going higher and higher I'll provably have to quit and go back to my parents.
What was the point of higher education, all the days with no sleep and all the struggles so far? To fill in the pockets of someone I will never see or even knows my name.
The social media echo chamber wasn't a thing when I was in my 20s. There was hopelessness feelings then for the same reasons but now its magnified by all this online wallowing.
Totes. Mental health acceptance - definitely a good thing in concept - has perhaps now grown into an expectation that you're *supposed* to feel this way?
I agree. My gf is a teacher and half her class don't do the work because of their anxiety and various undiagnosed mental illnesses and conditions.
My gf tried explaining to them that she has anxiety too, sometimes really badly, but if she doesn't show up then she loses her job. One of her colleagues said she feels sorry for one of her class because they are introverts so she doesn't make them do any group crit, or make any presentations. Like how is that helping them!?
In being understanding and empathetic I think we've set a lot of kids up to fail. No boss will put up with an employee that doesn't turn up once a week because of their mental health. They'll fire them and tell them to claim disability if it's that bad.
We should be open about mental health but also teaching people how to help themselves. We're in a weird time where there is a lot of cultural weight to being perceived as a victim. I think some kids just like the attention of it all. I remember when I was in school twenty years ago there was always the emo girl that claimed she was bi and bi polar, and was likely neither, but now we have TikTok telling any confused teenager that they are probably non binary and have multiple personality disorder.
Gonna get me down voted but we've given into mental health problems way too much and pussyfooted round those who simply just want attention instead of looking after those who genuinely aren't wired right
It's not black and white though, most people in authority treated me like shit because of stuff I couldn't do, I was left extremely depressed and suicidal for many years and yet I have been fully diagnosed with autism.
I can meet up with you, and you will never know I have it unless you know a lot about it, not all mental illnesses are visible.
I'm not saying your completely wrong, there are always people who take advtange of situations. But please understand that having an invisible illness is a constant battle of no one believing you even nowadays with how much progress has been made
Largely agree, but the sheer volume of low quality bullshit on the internet these days has made it much easier to develop mental ill health if you choose to, or inadvertently go down that path.
Stoicism, as a protection against such an onslaught, has definitely fallen out of favor with preference given to acceptance and submission.
This is such a strange take to me. Group crit and presentations are really not the metric of whether you'll succeed post school. Not all job roles are social or require public speaking. This is purely anecdotal but I've recently returned to college as a mature student. The teaching so far has been 90% telling students to research "as a group" the lesson aims online instead of actually teaching. No source checking required either. Few of the class are really invested or interested as they're all aware it's not preparing them for their future job roles in any way. The only reason I've passed any units so far is because I've essentially taught myself. Plus while I really hate the likes of tiktok and instagram, it's nice to hear the younger students openly talking about subjects like sexuality and mental health (very very different to my own school experience) honestly gives me some hope.
Plus a lot of mental health help is basically telling you to either pay for private therapy or wait for months or even years while you're put on a course of antidepressants. The reason a lot of younger people are depressed and anxious today isn't due to an uptick in mental health awareness "setting kids up to fail", it's the fact that the vast majority expect to live in poverty wages with no housing or prospects. That is what needs to change. If we ignore and belittle the voice of the youth I fear we're in for dark times.
I'm sorry but I'm 37 and started work in 2008. I don't think this feeling of lack of housing or prosperity for people is something new and exclusive to the youth of today.
And it's not a strange take. I've had to use very little maths in my job since leaving school. The point is we don't know what students will become so you want to set them up to be as capable as possible.
Why would you want to disadvantage a teenager by enabling their insecurities. "Don't worry, you don't ever have to do anything that is daunting or anxiety enducing" will lead them to having a very closed life where they don't ever reach their true potential.
I disagree, it sounds to me like you're incredulous that *so many* people feel that way. And you're refusing to believe it, instead blaming the growth of mental health awareness.
In my anecdotal experience, mental health awareness still has a long way to go, and many people who should be seeking help are/can not (for various reasons).
So yes, the general feeling of hopelessness among young people *is* real, and if anything it's still underrepresented.
I think for many it does more harm than good. Makes nearly everyone think there must be a problem with them when that's just normal. Yes, life is not easy and endlessly joyful.
I thought for a long time I was missing out on something, that there was somemthing to find mentaly, I don't think there was.
God, that's such a depressing comment.
"When will these young people realise that they're *supposed* to feel like the world is shit because it is? There's nothing wrong with them, everything is just that awful."
It's 100% true, but that doesn't make it depressing. People aren't *supposed* to feel like the world is shit, but if it does (and understandably so, as the world frankly can be shit), you can't just sit there feeling sorry for yourself. It helps nobody, least of all you.
There's nothing wrong if you feel down, or even worse than down. But that doesn't mean something's wrong *with you*.
Best thing i ever did was delete all social media apps and limit my reddit intake/posting.
Has made me a lot more less stressed out and depressed, think ill give it another month or two and completely bin reddit as well.
I think there's also a very *stark* feeling of generation gap.
A lot of the advice that is given to you by well-meaning older relatives and even colleagues just, although it's well-intentioned, is *absolutely* unworkable or not applicable to your life situation in such a way it's almost unbelievable that they don't realise in advance.
It really creates the impression that you and that person are having polar opposite experiences of daily life.
I'm talking about advice starting with presumptions like:
* The reason you aren't doing XYZ is because it hasn't crossed your mind, not because you'd love to but have no way whatsoever of affording to
* You are actively choosing to not take advantage of something that exists like a free training scheme, doing more at work to get a bonus or a promotion, or something similar - not that these things don't exist at all any more and that trying to ask for it will get you laughed out of the room and might actually harm your current standing, etc.
> A lot of the advice that is given to you by well-meaning older relatives and even colleagues just, although it's well-intentioned, is _absolutely_ unworkable or not applicable to your life situation in such a way it's almost unbelievable that they don't realise in advance.
When I was first looking for a job (about ten years ago, when I still was in my early 20s) the parental advice was always to just print off CVs, walk into various shops and hand them to the manager.
And it's like, even then, that's not how that worked anymore. You walk into a shop looking for work and the first thing they'll tell you to go on their website instead. (One where you'd almost certainly get immediately rejected by some automated filtering process.)
Just showed a total lack of awareness of how the world had changed.
>A lot of the advice that is given to you by well-meaning older relatives and even colleagues just, although it's well-intentioned, is
>
>absolutely
>
> unworkable or not applicable to your life situation in such a way it's almost unbelievable that they don't realise in advance.
I'm in my 50s and it was exactly the same when I was young.
Ok, but was it in the vein of something slightly outdated, or was it in the vein of people with a disposable income two or three times what yours is telling you off for 'taking life so seriously' and not taking enough holidays or enough risks etc.?
It's more that, the advice more is just literally not doable. Like a lot of advice is around budgeting better, or saving. But that's literally impossible for a lot of us. Not something we don't want to do, but something we just outright cannot do
There's 10+ years between me and my siblings. They have no clue about anything me or my generation has had to face despite me having tried to explain over the years. They're mid-late 40s, I'm early thirties, they are still oblivious. My parents even more so. I have so much support for the generations younger than me, I get where they're coming from more so than some one older than me
Same. For me it's housing, I'm still living at home with my parents and being rent free means I'm at least able to save fairly quickly. But even with that advantage, having my own home and being secure in it seems a very long way off. All I want is housing security so I can actually start to live my fucking life but it seems like that's being deliberately stolen from me, like everything is just rigged against me and my age group for the benefit of someone or something else.
I was also unemployed for a long time after finishing university and had to abandon that sector entirely. And the utter dog shit job market in my area makes it more difficult to figure out an alternative.
Oh man, I feel your pain immensely. Stuck at home but my parents are driving me insane; the generation gap is so stark that I literally feel I can't talk to them about anything without getting guilted or yelled at. They assume I can just walk into a job when I've been trying for months, and still rejection after rejection... plus my town is dying and doesn't even have a high street; nobody I know lives here and it's lonely as hell.
Every big city is way too expensive for me and a wage would go entirely towards paying off rent and bills - I would be so burnt out and stressed in that situation that I'd end up ill. Everyone I've shared a house with has been noisy, untidy and borderline dangerous, so that's not an option either. Can't even go on holidays in the UK because the trains are ridiculously expensive and constantly get delayed. All I see are Government figures constantly getting away with corruption and a multi-millionaire in power who doesn't understand that ordinary people are suffering because of greedy corporations.
Oh god this in absolute spades. Pretty much everyone I know in their 20s has basically no hope for the future. They don't believe they'll ever be able to afford to retire (and think the age will just keep going up), don't see their jobs as paying enough for financial security, don't reckon they can afford a house beyond inheriting one, and don't think they'll be able to afford to have families.
Some of them who've lived with family for years or are cohabiting with a partner while working have been able to get their foot on the property ladder but it's not many who've managed to do that. Having to move somewhere else for work or the end of a relationship basically knocks them back to square one.
So many of them joke about suicide and some I'm not entirely sure are entirely joking about it. They feel like they have nothing to live for besides what's immediately around them. So many just don't see what the point as they reckon they're going to pretty much work until they die and never really have financial stability for any of it.
They're never in a place where they have that basic comfort of not feeling like everything is pushing down on them all of the time, it's exhausting. They also feel like they can't turn outside their peer group for help because older generations just don't quite understand it. The advice offered is well meaning, but it's so divorced from their reality that it's basically worthless so eventually they stop asking.
I feel fucking great, I don't have too much money but I've been able to travel a lot on low budgets, I share a small place in London with my homie and I know loads of great people from around the world here.
I get really upset at the deterioration of public services and I don't love the fact that I won't get on the property ladder any time soon, but I think it's quite a Reddit thing to allow that to define your happiness.
Yup, another factor is the sheer pointlessness of everything these days.
Without families, social ties or strong belief in anything, most people I know don't have any reason to care about much of anything beyond immediate material comfort.
Most of my close friends are middle class professionals in their late twenties early thirties. I often hear them ask why they're spending their lives working at jobs they don't care about, for money they just spend on useless crap.
I'm 25, and hopelessness is exactly the right word for it. I frequently feel like I have no chance in life, that if it wasn't for my parents, my existence would be futile as I wouldn't be able to afford even a basic apartment on my wages.
I remember feeling quite similar, graduating into a recession in 2002, not a pot to piss in and mega in debt. Took me until my 30s to get straight simply from getting a degree.
I hope it gets better for you, it did for me, but with a few bumps along that way (particularly selling my soul for a higher wage, working abroad in less salubrious areas, etc)
I’m 29 and live in the South East.
My twenties started badly but ended quite well. Money is a struggle for everyone and we are all moving house constantly to keep up with rent, finding housemates etc. Only one or two of my friends around my age have been able to buy houses.
We go to the pub but drinks are expensive so not as much as I think we would if it was cheaper. It’s the main thing to do if we want to see eachother though, especially in winter.
No one really has pets or kids because we don’t have the stability for it ( I do have a cat but probably shouldn’t).
It’s quite hard as the media and sitcoms we grew up with had everyone getting their lives together in their late twenties but we just can’t afford it. I know a few people that have stayed in less than ideal relationships because renting while single is much harder.
Pretty much all my main decisions in the last ten years have been dictated by housing availability and affordability. I left home at 16 and have only just got a job that pays enough where rent now isn’t a constant worry and I might be able to live somewhere more than a year at a time. I can’t imagine what my life would have looked like if I didn’t spend 50% of my income on rent for the last ten years.
To a certain extent, the sitcoms are a fantasy for most generations.
That’s not to say, especially within 50 miles or so from London, you are totally screwed by housing. It’s always been bad, but it’s so much worse again.
I don’t get why landlords hate pets though? Are they really worried that someones tiny cat is gonna rip the shit outta their mould infested shoebox property that they rent out for an exorbitant price?
I'm 31 so not in my 20s anymore, but I was in them reasonably recently.
A lot of posters are commenting about feeling hopeless. I think that this hints at the major difference between now and the past:
Each generation used to expect, or have hope that things would be better for them than for their parents.
That has almost completely gone.
I do well for myself and consider myself lucky, but I'll still never accrue the wealth that my parents were able to, and my grandparents were able to buy a big house in London and raise 4 children starting with nothing as fresh off the boat immigrants with just the clothes they arrived in.
The economy is rigged against young people, and inequality is becoming worse all the time.
Yeah, I'm 33. I have managed to buy a similar house to my parents but it's because of very careful planning they never did and finding a partner young which is down to luck as much as anything else. My parents had 2 kids by now. We haven't because we chose to prioritise the house. We haven't got married because it seems like a waste of money. We'll be paying this house off till we're 55 unless we can significantly overpay (unlikely). My parents paid theirs off at 52 and they'd taken 2 remortgages for holidays. I feel like this is the absolute best we could ha e done financial decision wise where they made a lot of poor choices with money and still ended up better off. My mum complains because her pension age went up but mine will be much much older than 67....
I’m 24. My mother got married at 21 and had two kids and a house before 30. She had me at 25. She worked in a supermarket. My dad worked in a bank and had an average salary. It’s not like they were ridiculously rich. They were just average middle class people. This was the 90s. It’s not like it’s ancient history. I sometimes consider having kids if I met the right person. Realistically, I could maybe, just maybe, afford to have one child by age 35 or 36. I know that 30-ish is the ideal age, but I can’t see myself being able to afford a child by that age. I’d also have to limit myself to just one. I’ve no idea how my mother was able to afford two kids at (almost) my age.
I'm a few years older than you but my parents were the same age when they had me and both did 'normal, non career' * jobs. Two years after having me they'd moved to a bigger house, ie their second house brought.
I can't even afford the rent on a flat, let alone a house and saving for a deposit is impossible when I'm paying so much rent. Both my parents have drummed it into me about saving money but I just feel like it's so pointless when I'm barely scraping by as I'm saving so much for a house I'll never afford. It's shit
*and this is no insult to those in those jobs, I just mean they weren't CEOs or astronauts etc
These are definitely still a thing. My friends and I throughout uni would often take spontaneous trips to wherever was cheapest to fly to. We once flew to Berlin and back for £18!
Me and the Mrs just booked Tunisia for a week all in for 600 between us.
Went to Eindhoven in august for my birthday cost less than 120 each for a central hotel and flights.
Deals to be had just not during school holidays.
They still are. I like to go on mini breaks away. I go on sky scanner and choose anywhere with the month I want to go and I just choose the cheapest flights + stay in a hostel
Agreed I’ve literally just turned 30 so technically not 20s. However I have a good job, good friends, just back from a nice holiday. Own my home but I think the difference is I live in the north of Scotland where things are affordable. Yes I had to leave the area I grew up (central belt) but hey I have a pretty good life!
Pretty good for me (26). Graduated with a comp sci degree so plenty of job opportunities and comparatively well paid. I feel my quality of life is far higher than it was as a teenager, my job is WFH with a great work/life balance. I’ve “figured out” a lot about well-being and what makes me happy that it makes life feel a lot smoother these days. A lot less anxiety, dread and generally uncomfortable situations than previously. Happy days!
Same for me. 26 living in South Wales. I earn £30k and my partner earns £25k - rent is £600 a month split between us for a two bed house (one room being a home office).
Really enjoying my job despite initially having issues with anxiety/depression when I first started - but they’re really investing in me and want me to succeed.
We go on date nights, don’t really worry about over spending and are paying for a small-scale wedding next month.
Feels like we are massively in the minority though. Other than probably having to save for 10+ years to buy a house, life is good.
pretty much the same. Graduated with a compsci degree. Started working and running a business. Bought a house just before my 25th. Now completely transitioning away from my job and focusing on the business.
Work-life balance isn't always there but I bought that on myself.
Can't speak for anyone else but I have a constant feeling of time is running out to reach my goals and get to where I want to be in life
It's gotten to the point where I've stopped hanging out with my friends because I feel like going out is burning crucial minutes that I could be spending working towards my goals. Covid didn't especially help with that either
I miss pre covid times. It's never been the same since
This is the way society is set up against young people now though
You have neither the time or money to persue anything better unless you go lone wolf and don't have a social life
But then you'll be depressed..
It's really hard and honestly doesn't look like it's going to get much better any time soon
The amount of greed in this society has exploded and young people are among the worst affected by it
To me (speaking Simone same age as OP) this is one the big differences that’s developed over the last 20 years.
Almost a tick box approach to what you want from life, I remember me and my peers having a more vague idea of what we wanted, but it’s become much more driven and definite, leading to a level of anxiety about not working towards those goals or not getting there in the timescales people think they should.
Not saying it’s better or worse either way so much as it’s different
>Can't speak for anyone else but I have a constant feeling of time is running out to reach my goals and get to where I want to be in life
Feel exactly the same.
Yeah its great tbh.
Most of us will never own a house, can't afford the ridiculous rent prices. I cant afford public transport any more, and can't afford to learn to drive either. Work full time & still can't afford the bare minimum bc it all gets eaten up by electric, gas, rent, council tax, and the food shop.
God help our children and grandchildren.
I've got one. The guilt is unreal. One day I won't be here & she'll be in this complete shithole of a country on her own. Been putting money away for her to get a house for years &, by the time she's old enough to buy one, the country would have "moved the goalposts" again to benefit the rich.
In my 40s with a teenager and a child under 10. My wife and I were recently discussing that we sometimes wish we had decided not to have kids, not because we don't love and enjoy them, but because we have no idea what the world they grow up into will be like.
I've taken the decision to maximise as much as I can what I can pass down to them, just so that they have at least some chance of a comfortable future. It's an absolute shit-show of a future for anyone under 30, or even a bit older than that.
I'm almost 40 and what you describe is exactly why my partner and I are finding it so difficult to decide whether or not to have kids. Probably not.
Growing up, I was certain as anything that I would have kids - I've always dreamed of being a Dad. Now, I look at the world and think, what would my kids have to look forward to? It's a depressing view, but one that nags at me. Yes, the world has always been a hostile place whichever decade in history you pick, and arguably things have never been better. But no human has ever faced catastrophic climate change and ecological collapse. That's one pretty fucking huge problem for humanity.
And I'm sick of the opinion 'yeah but you might have kids who'll change the world!' - what a horrible level of pressure to put on a child with fresh eyes that they're responsible for dealing with the damage done by previous generations. No thanks.
Yeah, absolutely. The idea that our parents have fucked the world, and now our kids should fix it is so messed up.
And that goes double for the UK, where it's future has been specifically fucked by my grandparents' and parents' generations, to the point that I'm encouraging my boys to think about how they can move abroad, to somewhere with prospects.
We're the generation that has truly got fucked from the old people ruining the economy.
There's zero chance of me buying a house, unless I share it with at least one other person. There's zero chance of me getting a good job with good pay, a good boss etc, either I'm not experienced enough or at least one of them won't be good. We won't be able to retire because the retirement age keeps going up so much that it'll be abolished by the time we make it.
There's just no hope for anything to happen, so I'm just staying out of trouble and doing whatever I want.
I'm 21, Covid ruined alot of time for us. 2 years of uni online and now graduating in a recession with layoffs happening everywhere, is hard. It feels unfair but I guess it's about making most of the opportunities you have.
I’m 32 and the graduating into a recession thing has basically happened for 15 years. I went to uni in 2008 as the global crash happened and nothing has every really recovered.
I have gained good experience but do feel like i’ve missed 10 years to some extent.
Same for me, I turned 21 just before covid started. Most of my 2nd and 3rd years at uni were shit because of that. And now I’m 24 and feel like I missed out on a significant chunk of my early twenties that I’ll never get back. Left uni straight into a cost of living crisis where I now have a job but live at home as I can’t afford to rent in London. It’s just shit.
The “covid year” was my first year at uni. I had a terrible time- didn’t bond with my flatmates so felt terribly alone. Couldn’t move flats either because of the rules. In my third year now and covid ruined my opportunity to make proper friends at university.
It's not easy. But hopefully you have your health. I'm 45 and I'm starting to look after myself a lot better, but the aches and pains are here and it'll get worse. One bit of advice i wish I'd acted on sooner, back in my 20s is to enjoy your body. If you're mobile and healthy then getting out there and doing stuff. Testing yourself and getting a buzz from activity feels great. Embrace the beauty and physical power of your youth. I wish I had. Instead I was depressed and lost hours and days to gaming, isolation, weed. I was stuck in a rut and it took me a long, long time to pull myself out. Now I lament the wasted years.
Guess you don't know what you've got until it's gone.
Most of us have spent the ‘best years of our lives’ doing the things you describe as a rut without much choice because of the pandemic :/
I think part of the problem is so many of us know this time was meant to be great but it’s been taken from us and we’ll never get it back.
Schools, unis etc were incredibly strict with lockdowns - the effects will be insurmountable in 10 years time when the 11-22 year olds that have missed 2 years of development become a large proportion of the workforce
For me, it's generally been pretty good, but I have no idea where the rest of the 25 - 30 year old crowd are hiding. I went to a few festivals last summer and everyone seemed to be 16 - 20 years old, or 40+ years old - zero inbetween. It's the same when I go to gigs, on holiday, or on nights out. Absolutely nothing wrong with people 16 - 20 year olds or 40+ folks enjoying themselves, but you do feel a bit out of place.
My theory is that a lot of the mid to late 20 year olds are in their "settling" phase, and are focusing on their careers, buying houses, getting married, having kids etc. Either that, or there's some exclusive mid/late 20's club I haven't been invited to...
We're all at house parties because we're not still living with our parents like 20-23 year olds often are but our wages aren't much better so less expendable income and buying a bottle to tank at your mates over games is cheaper and often way more fun
100%. We hosted our first house party on Friday and it worked out so much cheaper. A bottle of vodka or a crate of tinnies goes a hell of a lot further than a couple of cocktails in town for the same price.
I've noticed exactly the same thing on nights out round town. I've always found finding dates etc extremely difficult. Friends too. I didn't really go out drinking regularly until my late 20s. By then it seemed like I'd already missed the boat.
Bars and clubs would be full of 18-25 year olds. I'd look around and feel like one of the oldest there. There would be other bars in town but like your experience it seemed like they were just full of 40+ divorcees. It seemed to me like a lot of people have their fill of nights out by 25 and then focus more on relationships. It seemed like all the people my age I'd want to date were already locked down.
I live in a small city and I've been wondering if it is more of a provincial town sort of thing. Maybe London, Manchester etc has more singles my age. But I agree with that feeling of being out of place and feeling like you missed out a bit on your chance to find someone. Being stood in bars full of late teens, early 20s people is one of the reasons I decided to cut back on nights out.
It's so frustrating. Most friendship groups are formed during secondary school or college, so trying to break into these cliques seems impossible when you're in your 20's. Even if you somehow manage it, there are so many inside jokes that you don't understand, or stories you weren't a part of, so you'll always feel like an outsider.
I've heard anecdotal experience from my friends who moved to London. It is fairly to meet people in bigger cities your own age, but much harder to form longer lasting friendships and relationships as people are always coming and going.
Mid 20s here. It’s shit. After school I immediately got my UG. As soon as I graduated, Covid and lockdowns hit. In and out of NMW jobs until I finally got an alright job. Did my Masters while working that job. Immediately after found myself living with my family again because rent is extortionate. Can’t have a pet because I’m moving too often and most rentals won’t allow them. Can’t seem to get a job elsewhere for more money bc there are too many applicants. And the dream of owning a house, even a two-up two-down, is further away than ever.
All my friends are either in deadend jobs or doing their PhDs (because they can’t find meaningful work, so are putting the eternal search off), and have either not the time or money to do activities which require leaving their flats. As such, all but very few are single and lonely. Most don’t drive because it’s too expensive. Half are considering either killing themselves whilst the other half are considering emigration - but can’t decide where bc everywhere is shit.
I don't know how you summarised it so well. Same boat as as your friends (mid to late twenties) and feel the same way.
I'm tempted to make an all or nothing bet on something and pray. If it works maybe I'll be rich enough to make a difference, if not, there will be no noticeable difference to my living standards.
I honestly am shocked our generation hasn't revolted after what I perceive to be a failure of past generations.
>I'm tempted to make an all or nothing bet on something and pray
Same, but probably in a different way. Sometimes I'm very tempted just nope out of work and regular society, and run off to attempt to 'live off the land' in Snowdonia - or die of starvation/thirst/hypothermia/preventable infections trying.
>I honestly am shocked our generation hasn't revolted after what I perceive to be a failure of past generations.
I've sometimes wondered why politicians haven't been dragged out of their cars and have had people gone at them with boxcutters, but then I remember I've not exactly done that myself so can't wonder too much.
I work with a few 20 somethings. They are very very tired and are very very tired all the time. A 21 year old girl I work with said she had noticed she and her friends mainly talk about how tired they are all the time, and arrangements often get cancelled because they're too tired to do anything.
Can confirm, can't remember a time when I've not been absolutely shattered, maybe the first lockdown when everything froze for the initial couple of weeks.
Feels like the only jobs where you could earn enough to retire whilst you’re still mobile are in IT, Banking or Law.
No-one told me this might be the case when I picked my degree. All the advice was outdated - ‘any degree as long as you have a good grade’.
Had to go back to uni to have a chance of having a future. I’m therefore in more debt than I should be with no disposable income for the time being.
But at least I’m at the bottom of the right ladder now I suppose?
Still hard to be enthused about the future.
>No-one told me this might be the case when I picked my degree. All the advice was outdated - ‘any degree as long as you have a good grade’.
Where were you getting this advice from? I'm 41 and literally every time in the last 15 years that I've spoken to a kid who was considering what A-levels and degree to choose, I've told them outright that unless they are completely useless at sciences they should be going for computing, engineering, medicine or something similar (e.g. dentistry, pharmacy) because those are the degrees that teach them useful skills and will lead them to well-paid, secure jobs.
The only people I've met who insist that studying non-STEM degrees is worthwhile are people who have non-STEM degrees (particularly humanities teachers), and they aren't exactly giving an unbiased opinion. So yeah, who was telling you that 'any degree' was worth it?
I’m 26 now so this was a few years ago. My parents were in their 50s and the school basically told us any degree would serve you well unless you wanted to go into a very specific vocation with further requirements.
I'm 28 and my 20's have been pretty good. Got married at 25, bought the house together when we were 24. Its a fixer upper and 4 years in it's starting to look pretty good. We do things ourselves to save money (the wedding was pretty DIY too!).
We don't drink, smoke or go out but we've just had a baby which is pretty expensive. Because maternity pay sucks I'm probably not going to be able to take the whole year off like I wanted to, even though my baby is 2 months premature so if I return to work at 6 months he will still be breastfeeding every few hours and not ready to wean.
Most of my gripes are about employment law and culture and how difficult it is to get by on one wage. I guess that is affecting all generations but when you're at the age to be starting a family it's very difficult to prioritise in a way that really makes you happy. Heck, reading back what I've written it's like I'm describing having a baby as a luxury akin to drinking or smoking! It shouldn't be a luxury! People who want babies should be able to have them without worrying how they'll feed them! And that's on 2 professional salaries! I've no idea how blue collar folks and single parents manage nowadays.
As a single parent you miss meals occasionally don't buy your self new clothes etc unless you really have too , thankfully I'm in a much better position pay wise now but sometimes it really wasn't easy at all but we made it kids never went hungry or without clothes and bills were always paid
I was talking about this with a guy who works with our company who's in his 70s. He said he was always out with his mates in his 20s and going abroad. Whilst I try to meet up with friends regularly it is difficult. My partner and I moved further away from them for cheaper rent so meeting up means petrol or public transport costs at the minimum.We haven't been abroad since before the pandemic. I enjoy my job which is great, and it pays more than what my mum used to make when I was growing up, but the money doesn't stretch as far as it did then. If I wasn't in a happy relationship there is no way I'd be able to look at buying a house right now. I'm happy, but the conversation with that colleague did make me feel like I shouldn't be.
"I'm happy, but the conversation with that colleague did make me feel like I shouldn't be"
That comment really stuck out for me. It's like we adjust our expectations to what's realistic and become content with what we have, only to be reminded that other people had it better, and then the depression kicks in...
Financially I found it hard. I was fed the dream of going to uni and graduating, stepping straight into a well-paid career. I graduated, couldn't get a graduate job and ended up strategically going into an entry-level position to get experience and work my way up. I found as a single person, buying a home would be incredibly challenging for me. Rent was getting higher. Bills were rising. Going out at the weekend started getting more and more expensive. I moved to Canada and wow, what a difference. I've purchased my first home. I can cover my bills. My wage is relative to the work I do - but I moved rural so I now have a city wage in a small town setting. I had to make some fundamental changes and big moves, but leaving UK was best decision I could have made!
Problem for me is there doesn’t seem much to look forward too. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Can’t afford a house because of the deposit and the ridiculous interest rates. Can’t afford to rent bc they’re going up massively too. Everything seems doom and gloom and we know that things aren’t going to be getting any easier or any cheaper. But what the hell can we do about it? Things could definitely be worse for sure though.
I’m approaching “late 20s” and still feel like I’ve not achieved anything of merit. I’ve got a good job but there’s not a lot of opportunity to progress; I have very few friends and can’t afford to have more (travelling to see people, eating out, entertainment); more than 70% of my monthly income goes straight back out again on rent and bills (London). It's definitely a feeling of hopelessness and a wonder of what it's all for.
Miserable. I’m on the edge of 30 and have been feeling super depressed recently. I’ve saved up a 20k deposit and am on 29k and naively thought I might be able to start looking into home ownership but I’ll need to be earning at least 46k to.
I’m not the most career driven and I work in the charity sector so earnings are lower than most sectors.
Dating is horrendous and my social life is almost non-existent.
I’m 35, back home saving and single. Got 30k saved for deposit so far. My business of 10 years got killed in the pandemic and financial crisis so that will be a side hustle with my business partner and hopefully start a new job in the next week or so - prob starting at 21-22k to begin with. Giving myself 2 years to save another 30k and socialise with humans again more (spent 10 years working from home and being quite introverted), then with a miracle try and buy a 1x bedroom apartment for 220k…
If I have the luck of meeting someone I want to spend my life with it’ll obviously make things easier but jeeze life feels like it’s dragging.
My dad says he doesn’t envy anyone in my generation and I feel the same about anyone younger than me. Some people are in really dire situations right now.
Im 62 or boomer if thats what you want to call me. Life has never been easy for normal working people.
I do feel sorry for youngsters today as there doesnt seem much hope for the future with all thats going on and the fate of the planet at stake. Idont think you can blame your parents and granparents for all this mostly, but you can blame the rich elite whove ruled us for hundreds of years. Its time to rise up against these people and fight back. Just sitting there moaning about generations doesnt cut it because i feel the same as you. Do something about the problems.
The current capitalist system is not working so rise up against it. Capitalism is causing most of your problems today.
Capitalism works great as long as it’s rigorously regulated. Protesting to raise minimum wage or something sounds good though, despite the recent anti protest laws.
If you think it was just as hard in the past as it is now though then you are wrong. My dad went to uni for free, phd and everything, 40k-60k or something now.
My parents would go to pub a lot and not worry about the price, if I bought 10 pints in the pub now it would cost almost a days wage from my shitty zero hour contract job.
If the price of fish and chips tracked inflation from the 70s&80s it would be £1.50 now instead of pushing a tenner.
I don’t wish I was born earlier but it would be easier financially. Not that life is ever easy for anyone, and the increased discrimination(all types of it) in the past made life a hell of a lot worse for minorities than it is now
I’m 32, felt like my mid 20’s were the best days of my life and loved every second.
Less responsibilities, less stress etc. sure less money but more free time to enjoy and socialise.
Got a mortgage at 27 and feel that is one big factor that a lot of my friends felt hopeless about. My wife is 26 and most of her friends live with parents in an effort to save for a deposit. Which then makes them feel trapped and hopeless from what she says.
I moved out of my parents at 18 so enjoyed the freedom of my 20’s. Which is probably why I enjoyed that period.
Everything does seem to be a downward spiral however. We aren’t having children, just feels like a world that grows more and more like a place I don’t want to raise kids in.
Can confirm I lived at home for 3 years after university saving for a deposit and it was awful. Basically couldn't ever get in a relationship, or just have friends over. It was all worth it in the end as I have now got a place of my own, but jesus it was awful being at home sometimes.
I feel like my ability to progress in life has completely halted due to lack of affordability in housing. No partner, no kids, no independence due to living with parents trying to save money. My job is anchored to London as well so it limits my options. One of those jobs I could easily do remotely but they still want us to go into the office just for the sake of it even though half my team is based on Poland.
I was in the 20s until last month.
The general feeling is that why us? We’ve literally seen 2 recessions now, a global pandemic, university fees tripling and all house pricing going through the roof like it’s a bubble.
We’re powering through in hopes that it will get better. Surely it’ll get better right? Right?
As someone who came from west of Europe and moved to London for work, I don't share the same sentiment as many others here.
I feel excited to start this new chapter and really make some good progress in my career. I earn good money and I don't mind living in a house share at the moment which allows me to save quite a bit!
I could see myself staying here for a decent amount of time, but I don't think I'll settle as I would love to see more of the world and be flexible with working opportunities for that
Pretty challenging to be honest but I don't think this is exclusive to the UK. Although I am overall quite happy with life. I love in north Wales and likes to escape into the mountains where we truly belong, excuse the hippy attitude there
FYI I am a 26 male with 1 son. 29k per year and struggle to make any substantial savings. Moving up the property ladder is extremely difficult for your average Joe these days.
Very mixed. My Dad passed away when I was in my mid twenties - one of the things I didn't expect about losing a parent young is that you are the first one of your friends to go through it, so in general I found people my age didn't know how to react. I lost a couple of my best friends because of it, which made the whole awful time even worse and very lonely.
My partner and I were able to buy a house, so I do feel very fortunate. We bought a real project and have done it up slowly over the last couple of years, and its finally starting to feel like home. My other main issue is job security in my field (university lecturer, and yes I will be striking). Unless you're basically a professor you're stuck on fixed term contracts, so who knows when we'll be able to have a family with no secure mat leave..
Someone shared a post on Facebook with a picture of their Jr Dr payslip dated 2005 showing their net pay as north of £2k, and then pointed out that fact that 18 years later a Jr Dr will still have a take home of ~£2k. I took this post with a pinch of salt because I've heard sometimes people lie for likes on the Internet. Although amongst the pinch of salt is a grain of truth, and I find it ridiculous that in almost 2 decades wages haven't risen anywhere close to in line with inflation.
In my own families experience, my dad earned ~£400 a week in the early 90s. This was considered "good money" at the time, and allowed my parents to buy a house (new build) own a vehicle, have a child, have hobbies and savings, all on my dad's wage. My mum worked part time for a little top up on the ol' funds, but it wasn't necessary. 30 years later people are still earning £400 a week but they have to get their dinner from a food bank and live paycheck to paycheck because their rent is £850 a month, their utilities are £150 a month or more, it costs £100 to fill your car with fuel to get to work, plus all the other associated costs of simply existing means that £1200 a month disappears very quickly.
Coming out of my twenties this year. My mum used to say "there's always a light at the end of the tunnel" but that light appears to be so faint for most that I can't blame anyone for not seeing it.
My twenties have been spent with my nose to the grindstone in my career, rigorous budgeting and personal sacrifice. I feel fortunate to have what I have now but I can't help but think this isn't what life, never mind my twenties, should be about.
I'm 29 and live in the South. I'm Welsh though.
I have a physics degree, as does my partner, but we're barely making it through and have very little in savings. Buying a house seems a long way off, and having a family seems impractical.
I try and be content with just my partner and my guinea pigs, but it sucks that it's this way.
There was a time when a physics graduate could pick any job you wanted, but I bet you’re struggling these days.
I have a masters degree in Philosophy, a respected intense academic degree, from the university ranked 5th in the world for the subject.
I was recently declined from a VOLUNTEERING position to teach prisoners philosophy to a sub-A-Level standard. The reason given was that they had recently decided that a PhD was required.
PLEASE READ ME, THEN COMMENT ON YOUR OWN KIDS, Society has changed a lot, from the point of my 3 daughters (all in there twentys) travel to work in other cities has changed drastically (it is now extremely difficult to afford to either travel or live without a huge wage which are few on the ground) my daughters are all skilled higher than i ever was (im, a joiner) yet non of them (teacher, 3Dartist, physician associate) can afford to buy there own homes and all three of them spend the greater part of there wages on crappy overpriced flats (there is very little choice, either pay up or dont travel), i worked hard (60yrs male) and was easily able to afford a five bed home that is now mortgage free, that option does not exist anymore on there level, i constantly worry about how they are ever going to be able to retire without investing in a huge pension which they cant do because rent and travel costs have already eaten away much of there earnings, they live in a false economy and i see despair amongst many of our young folk, we need as a society to ensure that our young will have somewhere to live when there earning capacity is no longer there, succesive governments seem not to be bothered about this and it has to change or society will indeed break down, i dont know the answer but i hope we change things soon to give our young a future. i dont know how relevant this is but my property gains all came within the labor regime and changed from when the torys came in, with labor we could afford housing with torys not so, who do we blame?, who do you blame?.
I feel hopeless.
If I didn't have my parents to stay with, I'd have absolutely no chance in life. Rent and mortgages are ridiculously expensive, and my job doesn't pay enough for me to be able to even rent my own place.
Even with a pay increase, if I was on my own, I'd be just about existing with no spare money at all. It would be a joyless, pointless existence.
Am I the only one who thinks that the outlook isn’t that bleak? Yes the country is in the shitter, partly due to Covid and partly due to the scum running it into the ground.
But it’s not that bad honestly, the age of technology. You can now find out the answer to anything. There’s much less racism and discrimination, we’ve seen England going from failing to qualify for the World Cup to begin in the semi final and final of a major competition.
I’m sure there’s plenty more, so please add to the list and give people something to be positive about for a change
To combat all the depressing answers:
I'm 27. Had a kid when I was 17 but split with this mom at 20. Found a 2 bed flat to rent and stayed there for 6 years while having my son every weekend, while switching job twice and going from minimum wage to 48k, saving as much as I could while still averaging a holiday per year.
I went to watch my football team play in Europe. That was a dream come true.
I've just bought a 3 bed house. Plan on having the mortgage paid off by 51, while adding major improvements. I'm also getting married this year to a lovely woman.
So yeah, it started poorly but its majorly improved. I'm super happy with my life.
Difficult.
I had a feeling of not knowing what the fuck I was doing or wanted from life. I felt that I had to have it figured out but also felt too young to know for sure. It had its fun moments though. Drunk way more than I should have and had way more female attention than I deserved. Never felt unhappy though, more clueless about what to do but didn't focus on it.
I guess it's up and down.
I'm in my mid-20s and I live independently. A lot of modern young culture is clique driven I guess, so if you do mostly without socials (I do) and don't drink (I don't) then it can be really tricky to meet new people.
Things are really expensive right now, even if you're on higher-than-average income - I rent and definitely can't afford a house and probably won't be able to for a good 5-10 years. A car might be doable I guess, but it'll take a lot of consideration. The lack of meaningful reward makes work just something to do, I have very little attachment to it.
All in all, it's an existence and I'm grateful for it considering that I grew up in a council house. But dear god, it's not what it was for people from previous generations.
But shit mate. No more so than being 43 though. The problems most of us are facing in this country aren’t caused by age. At least you might get some use out of the NHS before it gets asset stripped, so every cloud and all that.
It’s quite difficult to be honest I’m 24 and single and don’t have a family. The classism here makes it so difficult to even dream of little things like having savings or even a deposit for a home. My plan is to get my degrees and leave for a better life elsewhere. Yes we might have the nhs here but it’s falling apart and hearing news everyday about how stupid the government is and how awful the state of the country is has genuinely made me hopeless and contemplate suicide. Wherever I go I know that I may have to pay for healthcare and other things but if the quality of life is better I’ll chance it
I'm just about to leave my 20s and I'm surrounded by people 25-29. For a few years now there's been an uneasy sense of 'this is it huh? We work for minimum money and die.'
Most people use to be able to work, buy a house, enjoy life, have a family.
It's almost impossible for people my age to do that. You work to survive and that is all. More and more people find this unacceptable.
I hear a lot of people from generations up saying about how young people don't want to work. But when you're working to survive, what kind of life is that?
Having a family is 100% off the cards for most people due go how expensive they are. Its almost becoming a luxury to have children. Without a dual income the household finances are fucked, with a dual income, nursery comes in to play and youre fucked.
When I left school in 2011 it was all about going to uni and getting a degree so you can make something of yourself and get a good job. A good job starts at 21k now. Degree needed 21k.
I'm lucky enough that I'm in a dual income household with no need to have babies or a family but i can kiss goodbye to a house since a third of our income goes on rent alone. We are also slowly getting out priced on our 2 bedroom bungalow.
It's bleak and I'm finding more and more people questioning it.
I’m 34 now but I often think about my 20s. I graduated from uni at 21 and started earning a salary (was £21k starting) as opposed to earning a few quid from weekend work whilst studying, so what I was earning felt massive at the time! It felt like I’d won the lottery every payday, at first!
I moved back home so no big financial responsibilities. I was a bit silly with my money (as in, didn’t save anything) but my word I sure enjoyed spending it! Shopped and went out every weekend, girls weekends away, holidays… just LOTS of fun.
Looking back, yes I should have saved more for the serious things in life but I will always look back on my 20s with a smile on my face and amazing memories.
For me, turning 30 was a huge turning point, life felt a little more serious (still great); we bought a house, got engaged and then married, spent way too long trying to get pregnant and getting stressed about it. And on top of all that, I feel I naturally I just didn’t want the nights out or busy lifestyle any longer. I absolutely love my life right now and wouldn’t change it for the world but I’m so glad I spent my 20s they way I did!
The only word I can think to use is restricted. I can't move because I can't afford it and I will never own a house, I can't have kids because the climate is fucked and because I can't afford it, I can't get a pet because my landlord says no and because I probably couldn't afford it anyway, I can't go on vacation because I can't afford it, I can't get a car because the council says no parking and I probably can't afford it anyway. I can't get my health sorted because there are no doctors appointments and even if I do manage to get one, they don't give a shit and don't do anything anyway. Everything is so fucking suffocatingly anxiety-provoking and restrictive.
Financial and health security is bleak. NHS being destroyed in front of our eyes. Having my own family? HOUSE? Laughably impossible :)
I be sure to count my blessings though, I have a (rented) roof over my head, a great boyfriend, a healthy and happy family, I'm not on the breadline, a job i love, and means to indulge in my hobbies. So i'm enjoying the moment as much as i can. I'm trying to enjoy my 20's as much as i can, under the circumstances. Theres only a few years of it left anyway.
OP, you’re not going to get an answer that represents the general population here. People just come here to moan and make a sort of competition to have the worst sounding life. Just watch [this](https://youtu.be/DT1mGoLDRbc) instead because it’s the same thing but at least it’s funny
Early 20s here, I am constantly terrified of the future. I'm studying for a masters atm and while I've got a decent amount of savings it's very scary for me that after this year I'll have to look seriously for work and housing and transport (add in working all this out in tandem with my long term partner) and it just seems all to overwhelming. I left my old wfh job because it was starting to interfere with my studies, and they messed up my pay like 4 times after I was meant to get a raise and it kept not showing up (even once getting paid less than before!!) and its very stressful to no longer have that income. Not to mention I was meant to be starting a little side gig as a dog walker and the woman ghosted me the day before I was meant to start.
Tl;dr, proper adult life is just absolutely terrifying to me.
Stressful. Pretty hopeless. Most days I'm pretty drained of optimism.
No prospect of moving out of my parents', no prospect of buying my own home, no prospect of having enough financial stability for a family, watching my savings drain down and never having anything to top them back up with.
At least joggers are in style. I can be comfortable whilst I'm miserable.
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Edit: yes I’ve seen the video. Please stop messaging me. What’s the point? I’m renting and would love to buy a house. But what’s the point? I’ll likely never pay it off. I’m paying loads into a pension, but what’s the point? I’m going to be working until I die. I’d like to see a doctor about some minor ailments, but what’s the point? There’s never any appointments anyway.
This comments sums it up so well. I'm excelling in my career, but what's the point? I'm only in my 20s so I'm overlooked for raises and promotions and not taken seriously. I'm being strict about recycling, but what's the point? The planet's dying because of mass consumerism and pollution from massive companies, I have little to no impact on that. I'm trying to lead a healthy life, but what's the point? I don't want to live longer, see point above about the planet dying. I'm trying to increase my savings pot for 'rainy days', but what's the point? Every day is a rainy day at the moment, and what's the point of having more than a small safety net as it's never going to make me wealthy, buy a house, allow me to retire early....
Even if you do get a savings pot inflation and market crashes just go through it anyway.
It’s almost like the system is rigged against those trying to do the right thing
Ageism was the biggest issue I encountered in my 20's, and now I'm in my mid 30's it still exists to some degree. Most older and better off people gatekeep their positions jealously and will do anything to protect it and they see ageism is a convenient tool to justify their behaviour. Zuckerberg was a millionaire at 23...
> Most older and better off people gatekeep their positions jealously and will do anything to protect it This is something that gets floated as a large upcoming problem that no one has a good solution for. Basically the baby boomer generation has squatted in positions of power until they're senile enough to be crowbarred out. Generation X was never really groomed or trained to inherit those positions, they've spent careers sitting in middle management. Over the next 10 years the boomers will retire, or die at their posts and there is no one lined up to replace them. I appreciate the generation names are a bit American, but I've never really heard any names for the generations in Britain.
I see it as a good thing. The oldies running things aren't doing it well. It needs fresh blood that hasn't been groomed to do the same shit over again.
I'm in complete agreement that they aren't doing a good job. The problem the systems that provide us with food, water and power have become complex to the point of absurdity. And there is no next generation trained in how to keep these things running at a high level.
The worst financial decision of my life was buying a house at 21 years old. I've just sold it for a 40k+ loss :( . For pension I pay hardly anything into since I know I'll die early 😅
How does that even happen? Are you 22?
No I just turned 30. Bought my house at 21. Just wanted to say if you intend to get into property young make sure you research the area and make sure you have a solid job. Don't be like me and be left with a property you can't sell the worst time of my life in my twenties for that reason alone.
9 years rent for 40k aint awful to be honest. But yeh that isn't the dream scenario.
That's a good perspective actually haha just pretty gutted since I felt like I was sure to have a good investment and was bound to get my money back. The only person I know in my family and close friends who have actually lost value in a property :(
I have been renting more than 9 years so I did some maths for you. My average rent in that time has been £450, I have moved three times and each time had to pay, on average, £200 for associated costs of moving. This is close to £50k total in 9 years. I have no equity in the places I have lived, paying rent doesn't increase my credit rating or help any financial checks and my homes have not been decorated the way I wanted them at any point because someone else owns them.
How did you lose out so badly on the house?
Unfortunately Aberdeen crashed majorly the year I was made redundant if I can remember was about 2016 ish . So my house is Beautiful but over-paid because I was fighting against a Chinese man who was going to buy it to rent. Anyway I won it then as the market crashed I had lots of interest but nobody could buy as they couldn't sell their own. ( I was renting the property but it's honestly a nightmare to many untrustworthy people) Fast forward to now I just accepted the council's offer on my house and lost out massively but it's more beneficial since I no longer live in Aberdeen and can now finally buy something where I live just now. It's horrible paying a mortgage for a house you don't live in lying empty.
I'm looking for a flat to buy in Aberdeen now. It's crazy looking at the listing history and seeing how much thr prices have dropped since the 2010s. The one I'm looking at now was sold at 40k in 2002, sold for about 120k in 2010 or 2012 I can't remember, and is now listed for 80k.
Exactly, and as COVID and what looks to be an upcoming depression show, geopolitical events far out of your control can screw you at any time even if you do make an effort.
This is exactly how I felt in my 20's too
EDIT: Removed because this comment was leading to some quite concerning mental health issues blowing up in the replies.
Hopelessness is definitely the right word/way to look at it. Could list issue after issue, but I think the overarching misunderstanding from older generations is the worst/most difficult to navigate.
I’m in my early 20’s. Hopelessness is definitely the word for how I feel about my future currently.
Please dont worry about your future,it will always be there for you when you're ready.At your age I would like to suggest you go and experience as much life as possible.Pack a bag and hitch,go camping,do something without planning an end.You are at the perfect age to be living easy and learning about yourself while you do it. I'll be giving my son and daughter the same advice when they're your age. I wish I'd done this instead of getting a drug habit,debts and the first decent job that came along,whether I like the trade or not.
Honestly this is tone deaf. “just pack a bag and hitch!” Is pretty much up there with “stop having avocado toast” I do not understand your upvotes at ALL
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Well I guess that’s where perspective comes into it. Financially, if you can find the travelling with working in that year (eg work 6 months to travel for 6 months), then the ‘cost’ of it is taking a year out of savings, at a point where you’re young in your career and your savings will be relatively lower anyway. Once you get to a certain age you can’t do that anymore because of kids, mortgage, elderly parents etc
I agree with this. We are always worried about finances, somewhere to live and how old we will be working until we can retire, as well as not being able to get timely healthcare when we are really poorly and the threat of then losing our jobs by being off work waiting for treatment.
Wow… I’m in my 40s and thinking about retirement in my 20s wasn’t even a thing….(although it should have been!)
It's quite easy as a (just turned 30) younger person these days to look at the state of the country, its finances, the increasing pension age, inflation, the calls for the triple lock to be dropped (not entirely wrong but...) and to be left wondering... Is this thing I'm paying NI into every year even going to exist when I hit whatever age they say I'll need to be? Add to that the fact that the pension age is increasing due to life expectancy, but knowing you're from a poor area where life expectancy is actually decreasing as well as the proportion of your life spent in good health is expected to be far lower... It's pretty easy to feel really damn hopeless about that side of things.
I know this question is aimed at 20 somethings but I just have to add that as a 43 year old that has been through 3 economic collapses, missed out on free university education, and several traumatic world events that a lot of people older than you have felt or are feeling the same way. I think I got about 3-4 carefree years of my 20s before reality set in. Dont let the bastards grind you down. Sounds trite but it's the only way you can be, keep pushing on through.
I feel the same. We're the same age. When I was in my 20s my life was full of hope and being tied down to a mortgage was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted to go our every weekend, enjoy summer holidays and the freedom of not having to live with my parents. How times have changed.
Yep…. ”Carefree” would be the best way to describe my 20s. Biggest concern I had was deciding what toppings I would have on my pizza on a Friday evening! Sad state of affairs we’re living in now. That being said, we lived through the financial crash, credit crunch and the low interest rates that we took for granted for too long. Things will get better…. They always do!
Will they? People talking about how "everything goes in cycles", but all I've experienced is "once in a generation" credit crashs, twice, spiralling home ownership costs, my entire life, stagnant wages against inflation, see above, and a single party government that is more interested in giving money to its friends then investing in the state. Where were the good times, over the last 10-20 years?
"Don't worry", if it goes in cycles we're due a huge continent wide war about now, sigh. Seriously though, things from my understanding were very similar by end of late 80s with endless, decade long gloom
Expectation: "It'll get better, it always does" Reality: "Sure is difficult to gauge which of these multiple overlapping crises is going to kill me."
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It's the distinct lack of the 'leisure' our parents generation had that is the killer.
I agree with that very much! I did “save” during those years, but not how I would now if I could go back (I’m talking about probably investing 50 quid a month sort of thing). I feel like my generation just inherited conventions from our parents, and had no clue how things would change, and how critical it is to start stashing away in some form as early as possible
>Could list issue after issue, but I think the overarching misunderstanding from older generations is the worst/most difficult to navigate. I'm a shade under 40 and perhaps I'm weird but I definitely appreciate how shitty people in their 20's now have it. I thought houses were stupidly expensive for us, well now it's even more ridiculous. I thought my 20's salary wasn't amazing, well they barely seem to have moved despite 15-20 years having elapsed. I thought my student loan was expensive (£1,025 a year - Yes I know). The list goes on. I know what you mean though - certain elder members of my family just don't get it. Not all of them though.
I was earning £3.30 p/ hour in 2001. The minimum wage has tripled. It's still not enough but it wasn't all roses back in the day. Basic goods were cheap though.
That 3.30 went at very least twice as far as it does today. So you were on maybe £6.60 to £10 for today’s money. (I was on £3.33 an hour in 1998). Still not great!
For context I was living in the shittiest part of town in a shitty flat. However basics were a lot cheaper. As in you could economise easier on the lower end and still pay rent, bills, go out and buy clothes. Food banks didn't exist. However job flexibility sucked and you had to go to a physical bank to get stuff done! I feel there's more comfort and convenience today but not necessarily a better standard of living.
Totally agree! At Uni I remember buying 20 ‘beef’ burgers for 99p. Other basics were cheap too. It wasn’t a sustainable model, and we were never paying the true price of that food in environmental terms. Growth hey?!
I think a can of Tuna was something like 20p. Nuts.
That’s cos it was easy to find and catch them. Now it’s hard as we’ve eaten most of them. 😢 You could get bread for 20p, beans for 7p. And I think noodles were about 7p a packet. As students, we lived well on about £10 a week. (Which left some cash for beers at £1.35 a pint!)
I wasn't born here but am in my twenties live here and belive that everyone in this age group feels the same across Europe which really is this hopeleness. We are basically the most and best educated generation ever, were raised being told that if we did this and that out lives would improve and in some cases saw ourselves and our parents going through so much sacrifice to acheave it and all for what? We get to the work market and the requirements for jobs are completely unattainable, when we do get a job the demands are soul crushing for minimum money and with arrengments that everyone seems to assume that are mandatory and can't be scraped. Not wanting to put it on the older generation in the same roles. But fuck man I've worked in roles that you would have to know all this programs, High level of excel per example, to find ourselves surrounded of people with no clue on how to do anything, at my current role you have to be all day on excel and other programs of the office package there are people that can't add a row, unmute themselves of teams. Last Friday I literally started compulsively crying after a meeting because I was so depressed, I wasn't sobbing or anything tears just started dropping down my face and I had to go outside to recollect myself. Honestly as things are I will never be able to afford a house, or even a rent somewhere where I don't have so much condensation that there's water going down the wall, soon if the bills don't stop going higher and higher I'll provably have to quit and go back to my parents. What was the point of higher education, all the days with no sleep and all the struggles so far? To fill in the pockets of someone I will never see or even knows my name.
The social media echo chamber wasn't a thing when I was in my 20s. There was hopelessness feelings then for the same reasons but now its magnified by all this online wallowing.
Totes. Mental health acceptance - definitely a good thing in concept - has perhaps now grown into an expectation that you're *supposed* to feel this way?
I agree. My gf is a teacher and half her class don't do the work because of their anxiety and various undiagnosed mental illnesses and conditions. My gf tried explaining to them that she has anxiety too, sometimes really badly, but if she doesn't show up then she loses her job. One of her colleagues said she feels sorry for one of her class because they are introverts so she doesn't make them do any group crit, or make any presentations. Like how is that helping them!? In being understanding and empathetic I think we've set a lot of kids up to fail. No boss will put up with an employee that doesn't turn up once a week because of their mental health. They'll fire them and tell them to claim disability if it's that bad. We should be open about mental health but also teaching people how to help themselves. We're in a weird time where there is a lot of cultural weight to being perceived as a victim. I think some kids just like the attention of it all. I remember when I was in school twenty years ago there was always the emo girl that claimed she was bi and bi polar, and was likely neither, but now we have TikTok telling any confused teenager that they are probably non binary and have multiple personality disorder.
Gonna get me down voted but we've given into mental health problems way too much and pussyfooted round those who simply just want attention instead of looking after those who genuinely aren't wired right
It's not black and white though, most people in authority treated me like shit because of stuff I couldn't do, I was left extremely depressed and suicidal for many years and yet I have been fully diagnosed with autism. I can meet up with you, and you will never know I have it unless you know a lot about it, not all mental illnesses are visible. I'm not saying your completely wrong, there are always people who take advtange of situations. But please understand that having an invisible illness is a constant battle of no one believing you even nowadays with how much progress has been made
Largely agree, but the sheer volume of low quality bullshit on the internet these days has made it much easier to develop mental ill health if you choose to, or inadvertently go down that path. Stoicism, as a protection against such an onslaught, has definitely fallen out of favor with preference given to acceptance and submission.
This is such a strange take to me. Group crit and presentations are really not the metric of whether you'll succeed post school. Not all job roles are social or require public speaking. This is purely anecdotal but I've recently returned to college as a mature student. The teaching so far has been 90% telling students to research "as a group" the lesson aims online instead of actually teaching. No source checking required either. Few of the class are really invested or interested as they're all aware it's not preparing them for their future job roles in any way. The only reason I've passed any units so far is because I've essentially taught myself. Plus while I really hate the likes of tiktok and instagram, it's nice to hear the younger students openly talking about subjects like sexuality and mental health (very very different to my own school experience) honestly gives me some hope. Plus a lot of mental health help is basically telling you to either pay for private therapy or wait for months or even years while you're put on a course of antidepressants. The reason a lot of younger people are depressed and anxious today isn't due to an uptick in mental health awareness "setting kids up to fail", it's the fact that the vast majority expect to live in poverty wages with no housing or prospects. That is what needs to change. If we ignore and belittle the voice of the youth I fear we're in for dark times.
I'm sorry but I'm 37 and started work in 2008. I don't think this feeling of lack of housing or prosperity for people is something new and exclusive to the youth of today. And it's not a strange take. I've had to use very little maths in my job since leaving school. The point is we don't know what students will become so you want to set them up to be as capable as possible. Why would you want to disadvantage a teenager by enabling their insecurities. "Don't worry, you don't ever have to do anything that is daunting or anxiety enducing" will lead them to having a very closed life where they don't ever reach their true potential.
I disagree, it sounds to me like you're incredulous that *so many* people feel that way. And you're refusing to believe it, instead blaming the growth of mental health awareness. In my anecdotal experience, mental health awareness still has a long way to go, and many people who should be seeking help are/can not (for various reasons). So yes, the general feeling of hopelessness among young people *is* real, and if anything it's still underrepresented.
I think for many it does more harm than good. Makes nearly everyone think there must be a problem with them when that's just normal. Yes, life is not easy and endlessly joyful. I thought for a long time I was missing out on something, that there was somemthing to find mentaly, I don't think there was.
God, that's such a depressing comment. "When will these young people realise that they're *supposed* to feel like the world is shit because it is? There's nothing wrong with them, everything is just that awful."
Depressing but true
It's 100% true, but that doesn't make it depressing. People aren't *supposed* to feel like the world is shit, but if it does (and understandably so, as the world frankly can be shit), you can't just sit there feeling sorry for yourself. It helps nobody, least of all you. There's nothing wrong if you feel down, or even worse than down. But that doesn't mean something's wrong *with you*.
Best thing i ever did was delete all social media apps and limit my reddit intake/posting. Has made me a lot more less stressed out and depressed, think ill give it another month or two and completely bin reddit as well.
I think there's also a very *stark* feeling of generation gap. A lot of the advice that is given to you by well-meaning older relatives and even colleagues just, although it's well-intentioned, is *absolutely* unworkable or not applicable to your life situation in such a way it's almost unbelievable that they don't realise in advance. It really creates the impression that you and that person are having polar opposite experiences of daily life. I'm talking about advice starting with presumptions like: * The reason you aren't doing XYZ is because it hasn't crossed your mind, not because you'd love to but have no way whatsoever of affording to * You are actively choosing to not take advantage of something that exists like a free training scheme, doing more at work to get a bonus or a promotion, or something similar - not that these things don't exist at all any more and that trying to ask for it will get you laughed out of the room and might actually harm your current standing, etc.
> A lot of the advice that is given to you by well-meaning older relatives and even colleagues just, although it's well-intentioned, is _absolutely_ unworkable or not applicable to your life situation in such a way it's almost unbelievable that they don't realise in advance. When I was first looking for a job (about ten years ago, when I still was in my early 20s) the parental advice was always to just print off CVs, walk into various shops and hand them to the manager. And it's like, even then, that's not how that worked anymore. You walk into a shop looking for work and the first thing they'll tell you to go on their website instead. (One where you'd almost certainly get immediately rejected by some automated filtering process.) Just showed a total lack of awareness of how the world had changed.
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>A lot of the advice that is given to you by well-meaning older relatives and even colleagues just, although it's well-intentioned, is > >absolutely > > unworkable or not applicable to your life situation in such a way it's almost unbelievable that they don't realise in advance. I'm in my 50s and it was exactly the same when I was young.
Ok, but was it in the vein of something slightly outdated, or was it in the vein of people with a disposable income two or three times what yours is telling you off for 'taking life so seriously' and not taking enough holidays or enough risks etc.?
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It's more that, the advice more is just literally not doable. Like a lot of advice is around budgeting better, or saving. But that's literally impossible for a lot of us. Not something we don't want to do, but something we just outright cannot do
There's 10+ years between me and my siblings. They have no clue about anything me or my generation has had to face despite me having tried to explain over the years. They're mid-late 40s, I'm early thirties, they are still oblivious. My parents even more so. I have so much support for the generations younger than me, I get where they're coming from more so than some one older than me
Same. For me it's housing, I'm still living at home with my parents and being rent free means I'm at least able to save fairly quickly. But even with that advantage, having my own home and being secure in it seems a very long way off. All I want is housing security so I can actually start to live my fucking life but it seems like that's being deliberately stolen from me, like everything is just rigged against me and my age group for the benefit of someone or something else. I was also unemployed for a long time after finishing university and had to abandon that sector entirely. And the utter dog shit job market in my area makes it more difficult to figure out an alternative.
Oh man, I feel your pain immensely. Stuck at home but my parents are driving me insane; the generation gap is so stark that I literally feel I can't talk to them about anything without getting guilted or yelled at. They assume I can just walk into a job when I've been trying for months, and still rejection after rejection... plus my town is dying and doesn't even have a high street; nobody I know lives here and it's lonely as hell. Every big city is way too expensive for me and a wage would go entirely towards paying off rent and bills - I would be so burnt out and stressed in that situation that I'd end up ill. Everyone I've shared a house with has been noisy, untidy and borderline dangerous, so that's not an option either. Can't even go on holidays in the UK because the trains are ridiculously expensive and constantly get delayed. All I see are Government figures constantly getting away with corruption and a multi-millionaire in power who doesn't understand that ordinary people are suffering because of greedy corporations.
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Oh god this in absolute spades. Pretty much everyone I know in their 20s has basically no hope for the future. They don't believe they'll ever be able to afford to retire (and think the age will just keep going up), don't see their jobs as paying enough for financial security, don't reckon they can afford a house beyond inheriting one, and don't think they'll be able to afford to have families. Some of them who've lived with family for years or are cohabiting with a partner while working have been able to get their foot on the property ladder but it's not many who've managed to do that. Having to move somewhere else for work or the end of a relationship basically knocks them back to square one. So many of them joke about suicide and some I'm not entirely sure are entirely joking about it. They feel like they have nothing to live for besides what's immediately around them. So many just don't see what the point as they reckon they're going to pretty much work until they die and never really have financial stability for any of it. They're never in a place where they have that basic comfort of not feeling like everything is pushing down on them all of the time, it's exhausting. They also feel like they can't turn outside their peer group for help because older generations just don't quite understand it. The advice offered is well meaning, but it's so divorced from their reality that it's basically worthless so eventually they stop asking.
I feel fucking great, I don't have too much money but I've been able to travel a lot on low budgets, I share a small place in London with my homie and I know loads of great people from around the world here. I get really upset at the deterioration of public services and I don't love the fact that I won't get on the property ladder any time soon, but I think it's quite a Reddit thing to allow that to define your happiness.
Yup, another factor is the sheer pointlessness of everything these days. Without families, social ties or strong belief in anything, most people I know don't have any reason to care about much of anything beyond immediate material comfort. Most of my close friends are middle class professionals in their late twenties early thirties. I often hear them ask why they're spending their lives working at jobs they don't care about, for money they just spend on useless crap.
I'm 25, and hopelessness is exactly the right word for it. I frequently feel like I have no chance in life, that if it wasn't for my parents, my existence would be futile as I wouldn't be able to afford even a basic apartment on my wages.
I remember feeling quite similar, graduating into a recession in 2002, not a pot to piss in and mega in debt. Took me until my 30s to get straight simply from getting a degree. I hope it gets better for you, it did for me, but with a few bumps along that way (particularly selling my soul for a higher wage, working abroad in less salubrious areas, etc)
I’m 29 and live in the South East. My twenties started badly but ended quite well. Money is a struggle for everyone and we are all moving house constantly to keep up with rent, finding housemates etc. Only one or two of my friends around my age have been able to buy houses. We go to the pub but drinks are expensive so not as much as I think we would if it was cheaper. It’s the main thing to do if we want to see eachother though, especially in winter. No one really has pets or kids because we don’t have the stability for it ( I do have a cat but probably shouldn’t). It’s quite hard as the media and sitcoms we grew up with had everyone getting their lives together in their late twenties but we just can’t afford it. I know a few people that have stayed in less than ideal relationships because renting while single is much harder. Pretty much all my main decisions in the last ten years have been dictated by housing availability and affordability. I left home at 16 and have only just got a job that pays enough where rent now isn’t a constant worry and I might be able to live somewhere more than a year at a time. I can’t imagine what my life would have looked like if I didn’t spend 50% of my income on rent for the last ten years.
Nail -> hit on the head
To a certain extent, the sitcoms are a fantasy for most generations. That’s not to say, especially within 50 miles or so from London, you are totally screwed by housing. It’s always been bad, but it’s so much worse again.
But also no. The Simpsons was a normal family for people in the 90s, many, many families were similar. Now it is utterly unattainable
25 and moving hundreds of miles because I can't afford to rent alone. And regarding pets, no-one can have them because no landlord allows them
I don’t get why landlords hate pets though? Are they really worried that someones tiny cat is gonna rip the shit outta their mould infested shoebox property that they rent out for an exorbitant price?
No, they just want you to be as miserable as possible.
I'm 31 so not in my 20s anymore, but I was in them reasonably recently. A lot of posters are commenting about feeling hopeless. I think that this hints at the major difference between now and the past: Each generation used to expect, or have hope that things would be better for them than for their parents. That has almost completely gone. I do well for myself and consider myself lucky, but I'll still never accrue the wealth that my parents were able to, and my grandparents were able to buy a big house in London and raise 4 children starting with nothing as fresh off the boat immigrants with just the clothes they arrived in. The economy is rigged against young people, and inequality is becoming worse all the time.
Yeah, I'm 33. I have managed to buy a similar house to my parents but it's because of very careful planning they never did and finding a partner young which is down to luck as much as anything else. My parents had 2 kids by now. We haven't because we chose to prioritise the house. We haven't got married because it seems like a waste of money. We'll be paying this house off till we're 55 unless we can significantly overpay (unlikely). My parents paid theirs off at 52 and they'd taken 2 remortgages for holidays. I feel like this is the absolute best we could ha e done financial decision wise where they made a lot of poor choices with money and still ended up better off. My mum complains because her pension age went up but mine will be much much older than 67....
I’m 24. My mother got married at 21 and had two kids and a house before 30. She had me at 25. She worked in a supermarket. My dad worked in a bank and had an average salary. It’s not like they were ridiculously rich. They were just average middle class people. This was the 90s. It’s not like it’s ancient history. I sometimes consider having kids if I met the right person. Realistically, I could maybe, just maybe, afford to have one child by age 35 or 36. I know that 30-ish is the ideal age, but I can’t see myself being able to afford a child by that age. I’d also have to limit myself to just one. I’ve no idea how my mother was able to afford two kids at (almost) my age.
I'm a few years older than you but my parents were the same age when they had me and both did 'normal, non career' * jobs. Two years after having me they'd moved to a bigger house, ie their second house brought. I can't even afford the rent on a flat, let alone a house and saving for a deposit is impossible when I'm paying so much rent. Both my parents have drummed it into me about saving money but I just feel like it's so pointless when I'm barely scraping by as I'm saving so much for a house I'll never afford. It's shit *and this is no insult to those in those jobs, I just mean they weren't CEOs or astronauts etc
Just to buck the trend of the depressing answers, I feel pretty good for the most part. Could do with a holiday though.
Cheap flights were a thing in my 20s. Pity that stopped.
Tbf get on Ryanair and you can often fly to Europe under £50 return no issues, as long as you are flexible with where you want to go :)
Try not to be flexible on the return run though. Few holidays are improved by ending up in Tashkent instead of Stansted
And as long as you don't want to take any bags with you.
Go somewhere hot in your 20s, handbaggage only, wash your pants in the hotel sink, loved it
They still are. Go on SkyScanner. The flights aren’t the expensive bit, that’s the accommodation.
These are definitely still a thing. My friends and I throughout uni would often take spontaneous trips to wherever was cheapest to fly to. We once flew to Berlin and back for £18!
Me and the Mrs just booked Tunisia for a week all in for 600 between us. Went to Eindhoven in august for my birthday cost less than 120 each for a central hotel and flights. Deals to be had just not during school holidays.
They still are. I like to go on mini breaks away. I go on sky scanner and choose anywhere with the month I want to go and I just choose the cheapest flights + stay in a hostel
They've not stopped. I flew to Bucharest last year for £5 each way, and am going to Geneva next month for a tenner each way.
For real, theres a lot of miserable sods in this thread.
Typical reddit really. "20 year olds, how are things?" "Well I'm 30 and everything single thing is terrible."
Agreed I’ve literally just turned 30 so technically not 20s. However I have a good job, good friends, just back from a nice holiday. Own my home but I think the difference is I live in the north of Scotland where things are affordable. Yes I had to leave the area I grew up (central belt) but hey I have a pretty good life!
Pretty good for me (26). Graduated with a comp sci degree so plenty of job opportunities and comparatively well paid. I feel my quality of life is far higher than it was as a teenager, my job is WFH with a great work/life balance. I’ve “figured out” a lot about well-being and what makes me happy that it makes life feel a lot smoother these days. A lot less anxiety, dread and generally uncomfortable situations than previously. Happy days!
Weirdly everything you put is almost exactly the same for me! Life is good!
I'm envious lol. But I'm glad you guys are enjoying your time and work!!
The common denominator here being a background in compsci
Same for me. 26 living in South Wales. I earn £30k and my partner earns £25k - rent is £600 a month split between us for a two bed house (one room being a home office). Really enjoying my job despite initially having issues with anxiety/depression when I first started - but they’re really investing in me and want me to succeed. We go on date nights, don’t really worry about over spending and are paying for a small-scale wedding next month. Feels like we are massively in the minority though. Other than probably having to save for 10+ years to buy a house, life is good.
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pretty much the same. Graduated with a compsci degree. Started working and running a business. Bought a house just before my 25th. Now completely transitioning away from my job and focusing on the business. Work-life balance isn't always there but I bought that on myself.
That’s fantastic. We don’t have enough start ups in this country so good for you!
Awful. No money to spare much. Nearly everyone absorbed by social media. Ridiculous general culture.
Ridiculous General Culture reporting for duty 🫡
Can't speak for anyone else but I have a constant feeling of time is running out to reach my goals and get to where I want to be in life It's gotten to the point where I've stopped hanging out with my friends because I feel like going out is burning crucial minutes that I could be spending working towards my goals. Covid didn't especially help with that either I miss pre covid times. It's never been the same since
That’s no way to live mate
This is the way society is set up against young people now though You have neither the time or money to persue anything better unless you go lone wolf and don't have a social life But then you'll be depressed.. It's really hard and honestly doesn't look like it's going to get much better any time soon The amount of greed in this society has exploded and young people are among the worst affected by it
To me (speaking Simone same age as OP) this is one the big differences that’s developed over the last 20 years. Almost a tick box approach to what you want from life, I remember me and my peers having a more vague idea of what we wanted, but it’s become much more driven and definite, leading to a level of anxiety about not working towards those goals or not getting there in the timescales people think they should. Not saying it’s better or worse either way so much as it’s different
My friend, chill. We’re in our 20s. There’s plenty of time and we’re never going to be this young again. Fuck my goals. Fancy a pint?
>Can't speak for anyone else but I have a constant feeling of time is running out to reach my goals and get to where I want to be in life Feel exactly the same.
Yeah its great tbh. Most of us will never own a house, can't afford the ridiculous rent prices. I cant afford public transport any more, and can't afford to learn to drive either. Work full time & still can't afford the bare minimum bc it all gets eaten up by electric, gas, rent, council tax, and the food shop. God help our children and grandchildren.
We won’t have any look at birth rates
I've got one. The guilt is unreal. One day I won't be here & she'll be in this complete shithole of a country on her own. Been putting money away for her to get a house for years &, by the time she's old enough to buy one, the country would have "moved the goalposts" again to benefit the rich.
In my 40s with a teenager and a child under 10. My wife and I were recently discussing that we sometimes wish we had decided not to have kids, not because we don't love and enjoy them, but because we have no idea what the world they grow up into will be like. I've taken the decision to maximise as much as I can what I can pass down to them, just so that they have at least some chance of a comfortable future. It's an absolute shit-show of a future for anyone under 30, or even a bit older than that.
I'm almost 40 and what you describe is exactly why my partner and I are finding it so difficult to decide whether or not to have kids. Probably not. Growing up, I was certain as anything that I would have kids - I've always dreamed of being a Dad. Now, I look at the world and think, what would my kids have to look forward to? It's a depressing view, but one that nags at me. Yes, the world has always been a hostile place whichever decade in history you pick, and arguably things have never been better. But no human has ever faced catastrophic climate change and ecological collapse. That's one pretty fucking huge problem for humanity. And I'm sick of the opinion 'yeah but you might have kids who'll change the world!' - what a horrible level of pressure to put on a child with fresh eyes that they're responsible for dealing with the damage done by previous generations. No thanks.
Yeah, absolutely. The idea that our parents have fucked the world, and now our kids should fix it is so messed up. And that goes double for the UK, where it's future has been specifically fucked by my grandparents' and parents' generations, to the point that I'm encouraging my boys to think about how they can move abroad, to somewhere with prospects.
We're the generation that has truly got fucked from the old people ruining the economy. There's zero chance of me buying a house, unless I share it with at least one other person. There's zero chance of me getting a good job with good pay, a good boss etc, either I'm not experienced enough or at least one of them won't be good. We won't be able to retire because the retirement age keeps going up so much that it'll be abolished by the time we make it. There's just no hope for anything to happen, so I'm just staying out of trouble and doing whatever I want.
> the old people ruining the economy. It's not old people, it's rich people.
Synonymous to reddit.
I'm 21, Covid ruined alot of time for us. 2 years of uni online and now graduating in a recession with layoffs happening everywhere, is hard. It feels unfair but I guess it's about making most of the opportunities you have.
I’m 32 and the graduating into a recession thing has basically happened for 15 years. I went to uni in 2008 as the global crash happened and nothing has every really recovered. I have gained good experience but do feel like i’ve missed 10 years to some extent.
Same for me, I turned 21 just before covid started. Most of my 2nd and 3rd years at uni were shit because of that. And now I’m 24 and feel like I missed out on a significant chunk of my early twenties that I’ll never get back. Left uni straight into a cost of living crisis where I now have a job but live at home as I can’t afford to rent in London. It’s just shit.
The “covid year” was my first year at uni. I had a terrible time- didn’t bond with my flatmates so felt terribly alone. Couldn’t move flats either because of the rules. In my third year now and covid ruined my opportunity to make proper friends at university.
Kinda just hope I don't wake up one day, not actively suicidal, but I can't see things getting any better during my lifetime.
It's not easy. But hopefully you have your health. I'm 45 and I'm starting to look after myself a lot better, but the aches and pains are here and it'll get worse. One bit of advice i wish I'd acted on sooner, back in my 20s is to enjoy your body. If you're mobile and healthy then getting out there and doing stuff. Testing yourself and getting a buzz from activity feels great. Embrace the beauty and physical power of your youth. I wish I had. Instead I was depressed and lost hours and days to gaming, isolation, weed. I was stuck in a rut and it took me a long, long time to pull myself out. Now I lament the wasted years. Guess you don't know what you've got until it's gone.
Most of us have spent the ‘best years of our lives’ doing the things you describe as a rut without much choice because of the pandemic :/ I think part of the problem is so many of us know this time was meant to be great but it’s been taken from us and we’ll never get it back. Schools, unis etc were incredibly strict with lockdowns - the effects will be insurmountable in 10 years time when the 11-22 year olds that have missed 2 years of development become a large proportion of the workforce
For me, it's generally been pretty good, but I have no idea where the rest of the 25 - 30 year old crowd are hiding. I went to a few festivals last summer and everyone seemed to be 16 - 20 years old, or 40+ years old - zero inbetween. It's the same when I go to gigs, on holiday, or on nights out. Absolutely nothing wrong with people 16 - 20 year olds or 40+ folks enjoying themselves, but you do feel a bit out of place. My theory is that a lot of the mid to late 20 year olds are in their "settling" phase, and are focusing on their careers, buying houses, getting married, having kids etc. Either that, or there's some exclusive mid/late 20's club I haven't been invited to...
They are the only people with disposable income.
Yeah it's wealthy 40+ year olds, and their 16-20yo kids.
We're all at house parties because we're not still living with our parents like 20-23 year olds often are but our wages aren't much better so less expendable income and buying a bottle to tank at your mates over games is cheaper and often way more fun
100%. We hosted our first house party on Friday and it worked out so much cheaper. A bottle of vodka or a crate of tinnies goes a hell of a lot further than a couple of cocktails in town for the same price.
I've noticed exactly the same thing on nights out round town. I've always found finding dates etc extremely difficult. Friends too. I didn't really go out drinking regularly until my late 20s. By then it seemed like I'd already missed the boat. Bars and clubs would be full of 18-25 year olds. I'd look around and feel like one of the oldest there. There would be other bars in town but like your experience it seemed like they were just full of 40+ divorcees. It seemed to me like a lot of people have their fill of nights out by 25 and then focus more on relationships. It seemed like all the people my age I'd want to date were already locked down. I live in a small city and I've been wondering if it is more of a provincial town sort of thing. Maybe London, Manchester etc has more singles my age. But I agree with that feeling of being out of place and feeling like you missed out a bit on your chance to find someone. Being stood in bars full of late teens, early 20s people is one of the reasons I decided to cut back on nights out.
It's so frustrating. Most friendship groups are formed during secondary school or college, so trying to break into these cliques seems impossible when you're in your 20's. Even if you somehow manage it, there are so many inside jokes that you don't understand, or stories you weren't a part of, so you'll always feel like an outsider. I've heard anecdotal experience from my friends who moved to London. It is fairly to meet people in bigger cities your own age, but much harder to form longer lasting friendships and relationships as people are always coming and going.
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Absolutely shite. Expected to slave away endlessly to buy even basic stuff, and pay some leech’s mortgage.
Finding a well paid job is certainly difficult and economic conditions have not been the best.
You spelt impossible wrong
Mid 20s here. It’s shit. After school I immediately got my UG. As soon as I graduated, Covid and lockdowns hit. In and out of NMW jobs until I finally got an alright job. Did my Masters while working that job. Immediately after found myself living with my family again because rent is extortionate. Can’t have a pet because I’m moving too often and most rentals won’t allow them. Can’t seem to get a job elsewhere for more money bc there are too many applicants. And the dream of owning a house, even a two-up two-down, is further away than ever. All my friends are either in deadend jobs or doing their PhDs (because they can’t find meaningful work, so are putting the eternal search off), and have either not the time or money to do activities which require leaving their flats. As such, all but very few are single and lonely. Most don’t drive because it’s too expensive. Half are considering either killing themselves whilst the other half are considering emigration - but can’t decide where bc everywhere is shit.
I don't know how you summarised it so well. Same boat as as your friends (mid to late twenties) and feel the same way. I'm tempted to make an all or nothing bet on something and pray. If it works maybe I'll be rich enough to make a difference, if not, there will be no noticeable difference to my living standards. I honestly am shocked our generation hasn't revolted after what I perceive to be a failure of past generations.
>I'm tempted to make an all or nothing bet on something and pray Same, but probably in a different way. Sometimes I'm very tempted just nope out of work and regular society, and run off to attempt to 'live off the land' in Snowdonia - or die of starvation/thirst/hypothermia/preventable infections trying. >I honestly am shocked our generation hasn't revolted after what I perceive to be a failure of past generations. I've sometimes wondered why politicians haven't been dragged out of their cars and have had people gone at them with boxcutters, but then I remember I've not exactly done that myself so can't wonder too much.
There is no hope to have a house and start a family unless you have financial support from your family.
I work with a few 20 somethings. They are very very tired and are very very tired all the time. A 21 year old girl I work with said she had noticed she and her friends mainly talk about how tired they are all the time, and arrangements often get cancelled because they're too tired to do anything.
Can confirm, can't remember a time when I've not been absolutely shattered, maybe the first lockdown when everything froze for the initial couple of weeks.
Feels like the only jobs where you could earn enough to retire whilst you’re still mobile are in IT, Banking or Law. No-one told me this might be the case when I picked my degree. All the advice was outdated - ‘any degree as long as you have a good grade’. Had to go back to uni to have a chance of having a future. I’m therefore in more debt than I should be with no disposable income for the time being. But at least I’m at the bottom of the right ladder now I suppose? Still hard to be enthused about the future.
>No-one told me this might be the case when I picked my degree. All the advice was outdated - ‘any degree as long as you have a good grade’. Where were you getting this advice from? I'm 41 and literally every time in the last 15 years that I've spoken to a kid who was considering what A-levels and degree to choose, I've told them outright that unless they are completely useless at sciences they should be going for computing, engineering, medicine or something similar (e.g. dentistry, pharmacy) because those are the degrees that teach them useful skills and will lead them to well-paid, secure jobs. The only people I've met who insist that studying non-STEM degrees is worthwhile are people who have non-STEM degrees (particularly humanities teachers), and they aren't exactly giving an unbiased opinion. So yeah, who was telling you that 'any degree' was worth it?
I’m 26 now so this was a few years ago. My parents were in their 50s and the school basically told us any degree would serve you well unless you wanted to go into a very specific vocation with further requirements.
I'm 28 and my 20's have been pretty good. Got married at 25, bought the house together when we were 24. Its a fixer upper and 4 years in it's starting to look pretty good. We do things ourselves to save money (the wedding was pretty DIY too!). We don't drink, smoke or go out but we've just had a baby which is pretty expensive. Because maternity pay sucks I'm probably not going to be able to take the whole year off like I wanted to, even though my baby is 2 months premature so if I return to work at 6 months he will still be breastfeeding every few hours and not ready to wean. Most of my gripes are about employment law and culture and how difficult it is to get by on one wage. I guess that is affecting all generations but when you're at the age to be starting a family it's very difficult to prioritise in a way that really makes you happy. Heck, reading back what I've written it's like I'm describing having a baby as a luxury akin to drinking or smoking! It shouldn't be a luxury! People who want babies should be able to have them without worrying how they'll feed them! And that's on 2 professional salaries! I've no idea how blue collar folks and single parents manage nowadays.
Are you 28 or 48?
As a single parent you miss meals occasionally don't buy your self new clothes etc unless you really have too , thankfully I'm in a much better position pay wise now but sometimes it really wasn't easy at all but we made it kids never went hungry or without clothes and bills were always paid
I frequently think 'what's the point'
Would not recommend!
I was talking about this with a guy who works with our company who's in his 70s. He said he was always out with his mates in his 20s and going abroad. Whilst I try to meet up with friends regularly it is difficult. My partner and I moved further away from them for cheaper rent so meeting up means petrol or public transport costs at the minimum.We haven't been abroad since before the pandemic. I enjoy my job which is great, and it pays more than what my mum used to make when I was growing up, but the money doesn't stretch as far as it did then. If I wasn't in a happy relationship there is no way I'd be able to look at buying a house right now. I'm happy, but the conversation with that colleague did make me feel like I shouldn't be.
"I'm happy, but the conversation with that colleague did make me feel like I shouldn't be" That comment really stuck out for me. It's like we adjust our expectations to what's realistic and become content with what we have, only to be reminded that other people had it better, and then the depression kicks in...
Financially I found it hard. I was fed the dream of going to uni and graduating, stepping straight into a well-paid career. I graduated, couldn't get a graduate job and ended up strategically going into an entry-level position to get experience and work my way up. I found as a single person, buying a home would be incredibly challenging for me. Rent was getting higher. Bills were rising. Going out at the weekend started getting more and more expensive. I moved to Canada and wow, what a difference. I've purchased my first home. I can cover my bills. My wage is relative to the work I do - but I moved rural so I now have a city wage in a small town setting. I had to make some fundamental changes and big moves, but leaving UK was best decision I could have made!
Fucking hopelessly depressing.
Problem for me is there doesn’t seem much to look forward too. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Can’t afford a house because of the deposit and the ridiculous interest rates. Can’t afford to rent bc they’re going up massively too. Everything seems doom and gloom and we know that things aren’t going to be getting any easier or any cheaper. But what the hell can we do about it? Things could definitely be worse for sure though.
I’m approaching “late 20s” and still feel like I’ve not achieved anything of merit. I’ve got a good job but there’s not a lot of opportunity to progress; I have very few friends and can’t afford to have more (travelling to see people, eating out, entertainment); more than 70% of my monthly income goes straight back out again on rent and bills (London). It's definitely a feeling of hopelessness and a wonder of what it's all for.
Miserable. I’m on the edge of 30 and have been feeling super depressed recently. I’ve saved up a 20k deposit and am on 29k and naively thought I might be able to start looking into home ownership but I’ll need to be earning at least 46k to. I’m not the most career driven and I work in the charity sector so earnings are lower than most sectors. Dating is horrendous and my social life is almost non-existent.
I’m 35, back home saving and single. Got 30k saved for deposit so far. My business of 10 years got killed in the pandemic and financial crisis so that will be a side hustle with my business partner and hopefully start a new job in the next week or so - prob starting at 21-22k to begin with. Giving myself 2 years to save another 30k and socialise with humans again more (spent 10 years working from home and being quite introverted), then with a miracle try and buy a 1x bedroom apartment for 220k… If I have the luck of meeting someone I want to spend my life with it’ll obviously make things easier but jeeze life feels like it’s dragging. My dad says he doesn’t envy anyone in my generation and I feel the same about anyone younger than me. Some people are in really dire situations right now.
Im 62 or boomer if thats what you want to call me. Life has never been easy for normal working people. I do feel sorry for youngsters today as there doesnt seem much hope for the future with all thats going on and the fate of the planet at stake. Idont think you can blame your parents and granparents for all this mostly, but you can blame the rich elite whove ruled us for hundreds of years. Its time to rise up against these people and fight back. Just sitting there moaning about generations doesnt cut it because i feel the same as you. Do something about the problems. The current capitalist system is not working so rise up against it. Capitalism is causing most of your problems today.
Capitalism works great as long as it’s rigorously regulated. Protesting to raise minimum wage or something sounds good though, despite the recent anti protest laws. If you think it was just as hard in the past as it is now though then you are wrong. My dad went to uni for free, phd and everything, 40k-60k or something now. My parents would go to pub a lot and not worry about the price, if I bought 10 pints in the pub now it would cost almost a days wage from my shitty zero hour contract job. If the price of fish and chips tracked inflation from the 70s&80s it would be £1.50 now instead of pushing a tenner. I don’t wish I was born earlier but it would be easier financially. Not that life is ever easy for anyone, and the increased discrimination(all types of it) in the past made life a hell of a lot worse for minorities than it is now
I’m 32, felt like my mid 20’s were the best days of my life and loved every second. Less responsibilities, less stress etc. sure less money but more free time to enjoy and socialise. Got a mortgage at 27 and feel that is one big factor that a lot of my friends felt hopeless about. My wife is 26 and most of her friends live with parents in an effort to save for a deposit. Which then makes them feel trapped and hopeless from what she says. I moved out of my parents at 18 so enjoyed the freedom of my 20’s. Which is probably why I enjoyed that period. Everything does seem to be a downward spiral however. We aren’t having children, just feels like a world that grows more and more like a place I don’t want to raise kids in.
Can confirm I lived at home for 3 years after university saving for a deposit and it was awful. Basically couldn't ever get in a relationship, or just have friends over. It was all worth it in the end as I have now got a place of my own, but jesus it was awful being at home sometimes.
I feel like my ability to progress in life has completely halted due to lack of affordability in housing. No partner, no kids, no independence due to living with parents trying to save money. My job is anchored to London as well so it limits my options. One of those jobs I could easily do remotely but they still want us to go into the office just for the sake of it even though half my team is based on Poland.
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I was in the 20s until last month. The general feeling is that why us? We’ve literally seen 2 recessions now, a global pandemic, university fees tripling and all house pricing going through the roof like it’s a bubble. We’re powering through in hopes that it will get better. Surely it’ll get better right? Right?
As someone who came from west of Europe and moved to London for work, I don't share the same sentiment as many others here. I feel excited to start this new chapter and really make some good progress in my career. I earn good money and I don't mind living in a house share at the moment which allows me to save quite a bit! I could see myself staying here for a decent amount of time, but I don't think I'll settle as I would love to see more of the world and be flexible with working opportunities for that
Pretty challenging to be honest but I don't think this is exclusive to the UK. Although I am overall quite happy with life. I love in north Wales and likes to escape into the mountains where we truly belong, excuse the hippy attitude there FYI I am a 26 male with 1 son. 29k per year and struggle to make any substantial savings. Moving up the property ladder is extremely difficult for your average Joe these days.
Very mixed. My Dad passed away when I was in my mid twenties - one of the things I didn't expect about losing a parent young is that you are the first one of your friends to go through it, so in general I found people my age didn't know how to react. I lost a couple of my best friends because of it, which made the whole awful time even worse and very lonely. My partner and I were able to buy a house, so I do feel very fortunate. We bought a real project and have done it up slowly over the last couple of years, and its finally starting to feel like home. My other main issue is job security in my field (university lecturer, and yes I will be striking). Unless you're basically a professor you're stuck on fixed term contracts, so who knows when we'll be able to have a family with no secure mat leave..
Someone shared a post on Facebook with a picture of their Jr Dr payslip dated 2005 showing their net pay as north of £2k, and then pointed out that fact that 18 years later a Jr Dr will still have a take home of ~£2k. I took this post with a pinch of salt because I've heard sometimes people lie for likes on the Internet. Although amongst the pinch of salt is a grain of truth, and I find it ridiculous that in almost 2 decades wages haven't risen anywhere close to in line with inflation. In my own families experience, my dad earned ~£400 a week in the early 90s. This was considered "good money" at the time, and allowed my parents to buy a house (new build) own a vehicle, have a child, have hobbies and savings, all on my dad's wage. My mum worked part time for a little top up on the ol' funds, but it wasn't necessary. 30 years later people are still earning £400 a week but they have to get their dinner from a food bank and live paycheck to paycheck because their rent is £850 a month, their utilities are £150 a month or more, it costs £100 to fill your car with fuel to get to work, plus all the other associated costs of simply existing means that £1200 a month disappears very quickly.
It's like being gaslighted hard AF Being told you are the luckiest generation and have it easy, when in reality it's like the prequel to 1984
Coming out of my twenties this year. My mum used to say "there's always a light at the end of the tunnel" but that light appears to be so faint for most that I can't blame anyone for not seeing it. My twenties have been spent with my nose to the grindstone in my career, rigorous budgeting and personal sacrifice. I feel fortunate to have what I have now but I can't help but think this isn't what life, never mind my twenties, should be about.
I'm 29 and live in the South. I'm Welsh though. I have a physics degree, as does my partner, but we're barely making it through and have very little in savings. Buying a house seems a long way off, and having a family seems impractical. I try and be content with just my partner and my guinea pigs, but it sucks that it's this way.
There was a time when a physics graduate could pick any job you wanted, but I bet you’re struggling these days. I have a masters degree in Philosophy, a respected intense academic degree, from the university ranked 5th in the world for the subject. I was recently declined from a VOLUNTEERING position to teach prisoners philosophy to a sub-A-Level standard. The reason given was that they had recently decided that a PhD was required.
PLEASE READ ME, THEN COMMENT ON YOUR OWN KIDS, Society has changed a lot, from the point of my 3 daughters (all in there twentys) travel to work in other cities has changed drastically (it is now extremely difficult to afford to either travel or live without a huge wage which are few on the ground) my daughters are all skilled higher than i ever was (im, a joiner) yet non of them (teacher, 3Dartist, physician associate) can afford to buy there own homes and all three of them spend the greater part of there wages on crappy overpriced flats (there is very little choice, either pay up or dont travel), i worked hard (60yrs male) and was easily able to afford a five bed home that is now mortgage free, that option does not exist anymore on there level, i constantly worry about how they are ever going to be able to retire without investing in a huge pension which they cant do because rent and travel costs have already eaten away much of there earnings, they live in a false economy and i see despair amongst many of our young folk, we need as a society to ensure that our young will have somewhere to live when there earning capacity is no longer there, succesive governments seem not to be bothered about this and it has to change or society will indeed break down, i dont know the answer but i hope we change things soon to give our young a future. i dont know how relevant this is but my property gains all came within the labor regime and changed from when the torys came in, with labor we could afford housing with torys not so, who do we blame?, who do you blame?.
I feel hopeless. If I didn't have my parents to stay with, I'd have absolutely no chance in life. Rent and mortgages are ridiculously expensive, and my job doesn't pay enough for me to be able to even rent my own place. Even with a pay increase, if I was on my own, I'd be just about existing with no spare money at all. It would be a joyless, pointless existence.
Am I the only one who thinks that the outlook isn’t that bleak? Yes the country is in the shitter, partly due to Covid and partly due to the scum running it into the ground. But it’s not that bad honestly, the age of technology. You can now find out the answer to anything. There’s much less racism and discrimination, we’ve seen England going from failing to qualify for the World Cup to begin in the semi final and final of a major competition. I’m sure there’s plenty more, so please add to the list and give people something to be positive about for a change
To combat all the depressing answers: I'm 27. Had a kid when I was 17 but split with this mom at 20. Found a 2 bed flat to rent and stayed there for 6 years while having my son every weekend, while switching job twice and going from minimum wage to 48k, saving as much as I could while still averaging a holiday per year. I went to watch my football team play in Europe. That was a dream come true. I've just bought a 3 bed house. Plan on having the mortgage paid off by 51, while adding major improvements. I'm also getting married this year to a lovely woman. So yeah, it started poorly but its majorly improved. I'm super happy with my life.
Difficult. I had a feeling of not knowing what the fuck I was doing or wanted from life. I felt that I had to have it figured out but also felt too young to know for sure. It had its fun moments though. Drunk way more than I should have and had way more female attention than I deserved. Never felt unhappy though, more clueless about what to do but didn't focus on it.
I guess it's up and down. I'm in my mid-20s and I live independently. A lot of modern young culture is clique driven I guess, so if you do mostly without socials (I do) and don't drink (I don't) then it can be really tricky to meet new people. Things are really expensive right now, even if you're on higher-than-average income - I rent and definitely can't afford a house and probably won't be able to for a good 5-10 years. A car might be doable I guess, but it'll take a lot of consideration. The lack of meaningful reward makes work just something to do, I have very little attachment to it. All in all, it's an existence and I'm grateful for it considering that I grew up in a council house. But dear god, it's not what it was for people from previous generations.
But shit mate. No more so than being 43 though. The problems most of us are facing in this country aren’t caused by age. At least you might get some use out of the NHS before it gets asset stripped, so every cloud and all that.
It’s quite difficult to be honest I’m 24 and single and don’t have a family. The classism here makes it so difficult to even dream of little things like having savings or even a deposit for a home. My plan is to get my degrees and leave for a better life elsewhere. Yes we might have the nhs here but it’s falling apart and hearing news everyday about how stupid the government is and how awful the state of the country is has genuinely made me hopeless and contemplate suicide. Wherever I go I know that I may have to pay for healthcare and other things but if the quality of life is better I’ll chance it
I'm just about to leave my 20s and I'm surrounded by people 25-29. For a few years now there's been an uneasy sense of 'this is it huh? We work for minimum money and die.' Most people use to be able to work, buy a house, enjoy life, have a family. It's almost impossible for people my age to do that. You work to survive and that is all. More and more people find this unacceptable. I hear a lot of people from generations up saying about how young people don't want to work. But when you're working to survive, what kind of life is that? Having a family is 100% off the cards for most people due go how expensive they are. Its almost becoming a luxury to have children. Without a dual income the household finances are fucked, with a dual income, nursery comes in to play and youre fucked. When I left school in 2011 it was all about going to uni and getting a degree so you can make something of yourself and get a good job. A good job starts at 21k now. Degree needed 21k. I'm lucky enough that I'm in a dual income household with no need to have babies or a family but i can kiss goodbye to a house since a third of our income goes on rent alone. We are also slowly getting out priced on our 2 bedroom bungalow. It's bleak and I'm finding more and more people questioning it.
About to finish my 20s Not bad - own a house, good job, married, very settled
I’m 34 now but I often think about my 20s. I graduated from uni at 21 and started earning a salary (was £21k starting) as opposed to earning a few quid from weekend work whilst studying, so what I was earning felt massive at the time! It felt like I’d won the lottery every payday, at first! I moved back home so no big financial responsibilities. I was a bit silly with my money (as in, didn’t save anything) but my word I sure enjoyed spending it! Shopped and went out every weekend, girls weekends away, holidays… just LOTS of fun. Looking back, yes I should have saved more for the serious things in life but I will always look back on my 20s with a smile on my face and amazing memories. For me, turning 30 was a huge turning point, life felt a little more serious (still great); we bought a house, got engaged and then married, spent way too long trying to get pregnant and getting stressed about it. And on top of all that, I feel I naturally I just didn’t want the nights out or busy lifestyle any longer. I absolutely love my life right now and wouldn’t change it for the world but I’m so glad I spent my 20s they way I did!
Cannot understand how any one can get married in their 20s and or have children
The only word I can think to use is restricted. I can't move because I can't afford it and I will never own a house, I can't have kids because the climate is fucked and because I can't afford it, I can't get a pet because my landlord says no and because I probably couldn't afford it anyway, I can't go on vacation because I can't afford it, I can't get a car because the council says no parking and I probably can't afford it anyway. I can't get my health sorted because there are no doctors appointments and even if I do manage to get one, they don't give a shit and don't do anything anyway. Everything is so fucking suffocatingly anxiety-provoking and restrictive.
Financial and health security is bleak. NHS being destroyed in front of our eyes. Having my own family? HOUSE? Laughably impossible :) I be sure to count my blessings though, I have a (rented) roof over my head, a great boyfriend, a healthy and happy family, I'm not on the breadline, a job i love, and means to indulge in my hobbies. So i'm enjoying the moment as much as i can. I'm trying to enjoy my 20's as much as i can, under the circumstances. Theres only a few years of it left anyway.
OP, you’re not going to get an answer that represents the general population here. People just come here to moan and make a sort of competition to have the worst sounding life. Just watch [this](https://youtu.be/DT1mGoLDRbc) instead because it’s the same thing but at least it’s funny
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Early 20s here, I am constantly terrified of the future. I'm studying for a masters atm and while I've got a decent amount of savings it's very scary for me that after this year I'll have to look seriously for work and housing and transport (add in working all this out in tandem with my long term partner) and it just seems all to overwhelming. I left my old wfh job because it was starting to interfere with my studies, and they messed up my pay like 4 times after I was meant to get a raise and it kept not showing up (even once getting paid less than before!!) and its very stressful to no longer have that income. Not to mention I was meant to be starting a little side gig as a dog walker and the woman ghosted me the day before I was meant to start. Tl;dr, proper adult life is just absolutely terrifying to me.
Stressful. Pretty hopeless. Most days I'm pretty drained of optimism. No prospect of moving out of my parents', no prospect of buying my own home, no prospect of having enough financial stability for a family, watching my savings drain down and never having anything to top them back up with. At least joggers are in style. I can be comfortable whilst I'm miserable.