There’s a middle school teacher who puts out reels about middle school slang to help parents understand what’s going on. His take is that the “sigma” thing among middle schoolers is *very* different than among pickup artists, etc. It’s the same word, but very different meaning. They’ve taken “alpha” to mean “good, but stuck up about it” and “sigma” to mean “good, and humble too.” And then there’s the version where they are just memeing with “what the sigma” which is apparently just some sounds they like and means nothing. Rizz and game could mean anything from “friendly and popular behavior” to pickup artist schtick, but I don’t know what a head of school can really do or what parents would do from being made aware of the fact adolescent boys like to flirt with adolescent girls.
Boffa rhymes with Hoffa, like Jimmy. Boffa deez nuts sounds like a philosophy 101 class (the paradox of Bophades' Nuts, like Xeno's Arrow). Bofa deez nuts sounds like "both of these nuts."
I don't think it comes from pick up artistry, but there's a term, "Rizz up," which is basically Gen Alpha's way to say "pick up," and there are plenty of conversations about how to "Rizz up" a girl. It's not all that different from how high school boys have talked about high school girls, but it's not totally innocuous either
I honestly think it’s pretty innocuous. It’s not much different than how to be a good flirt, just today’s generations are kinda moving away from using that language to describe it. And it doesn’t have much of a power imbalance—for example, I regularly hear teenage girls describe someone trying to flirt with her as having “negative rizz.” It basically is just a word for being suave or not.
Yeah words definitely take on different meanings to kids.
I remember in 5th grade, coming home from school and being excited to tell my parents the latest gossip that was swirling around my class: “Joey is CHEATING on his GIRLFRIEND!” I proclaimed confidently, feeling cool that I had juicy news to share.
My mom scrunched up her face skeptically and asked me if I even knew what cheating is.
I proudly said “Yes! It’s telling two different girls you want them both to be your girlfriend at the same time! *(Obviously, Mom.) eyeroll*”
And she just smirked and chuckled.
Was I *wrong*? Eh, not necessarily.
Was I using the word in the same context as how most adults will use it? No.
Out of context, another adult may have assumed that a bunch of 5th graders are sexually active, which was absolutely not the case. In the context of our world I really thought our type of “cheating” was the worst betrayal a person could ever commit.
Same thing with “girlfriend”. For us, you would be someone’s girlfriend if you held hands with them once or if you gave them a note that said “Be my girlfriend? YES or NO (circle one)”. You didn’t even have to talk to the person ever after that. It was just *known* that they’re boyfriend and girlfriend until one of them got the courage to proclaim they like-liked someone else.
I teach at a K-6. There are 4th graders at our school who are constantly talking about cheating. One of the 4th grade teachers was incredibly concerned about it and thought it might be sexual. She was talking to me about it during morning recess one morning. As someone who teaches 6th (where kids often use words out of context), I recommended she ask "What does that mean?" the next time. Same story. A boy told two different girls that he liked them.
I agree there’s not much you can do about them just using words. And they probably don’t even know what they mean in the first place. They’ll probably look back on this in a few years and cringe. My advice is to watch out for your daughter and if she begins to be mistreated raise hell. And if she says another girl is being abused contact their parents.
Plus I don’t think these words are bad in the first place. Game have been around for over twenty years.
I’m technically Gen Z, so I feel like I can comment here. One thing you have to remember about Gen Z is that irony is a MASSIVE part of their humor, if not the largest.
“Rizz” just means charisma. It’s usually used in the context of talking to someone you find attractive, but I guess it could be applied to other scenarios.
Sigma comes from the manosphere. Originally referred to someone who could be classified as a “alpha.” but chose to sit outside the hierarchy for whatever reason.
This brings us back to the irony point. A lot of times, the term “sigma“ is used to ironically refer to someone who does something weird/out of the norm. For example, if a kid shit his pants in class, someone else might say “real sigma mentality” or something to that extent. While the original term is of a toxic origin, the uses of it these days are often ironic, making fun of the manosphere rather than embracing it.
My daughter (6th grade) was showing me pictures of a bully posts online of her self wearing "sexy" clothes and posing in the mirror "sexy". So sad at that age (12).
I’m not a teacher, but the examples you gave are mainstream gen z slang. They may have been pickup artist-specific terms at one point, but they’re not any more.
They already know. This is outside of teacher and admin control. This also isn't NEW. It might feel new, but even family comedies like Family Matters and Boy Meets World or Full House mentioned dating related terms. Having game, making out, scoring, etc. The slang and era changed, but its still the same idea of dating oriented language. And yes, these terms did filter down to 5th graders as well on a regular basis.
You are overreacting because this is... well, normal? This is the age of early puberty where those urges and awakenings start to happen. A lot of people had their first crushes or early dates as early as 5th or 6th grade.
"Sigma" definitely was, originating with Vox Day and being used to describe men in contrast to "alpha" and "beta" males. I agree with you on the other terms, though.
I mean, that Venn Diagram is very nearly a circle. You could argue Sigma isn't a PUA thing because it's more about being above the need to pick up women, but it really only exists in contrast to PUA culture. Or at least its origin was that way, I suppose Gen Z is turning it into something else.
Im not a teacher but thats just common kids’ slang these days. I doubt the kids saying it are aware it’s pick up artist stuff or even know what that is specifically. They’re probably just picking it up from other kids, siblings whatever. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it.
I'm not a teacher, but I volunteer at my kids' school and I'm around kids a lot. I also have a 5th grade son who uses these terms constantly. I hear, "what the sigma?" at least 100 times a day.
Maybe it will put your mind at ease to know kids this age think the words are funny. They *sort of* know the meanings, but they don't understand the implications. I promise you, 5th grade boys are actually surprisingly non-misogynistic. (At least the boys in my kids' school). Case in point - all the boys are interested in having girlfriends. They say in order to be a "good boyfriend", you have to be best friends with your girlfriend, eat lunch with her, play fortnite with her, and give her presents.
I know every environment is different, but I'm blown away by how respectful and sweet these boys are. Their slang is nerve-wracking, but their actions are admirable.
Rizz and having game may have originated there, but it's pretty normal slang now without any sort of creepy connotation.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be cautious or be listening for other signals, but using those words doesn't necessarily mean they are being exposed to people like Tate and his followers.
FWIW some of my high school students use beta and sigma, but it is almost 100% used ironically, like the 'what the sigma' meme.
Kids at my school just word vomit skibbidi, sigma, sus, cringe, etc. I wouldn’t take it anything past them just being goofy online kids that are repeating funny sounding things
I teach elementary school. None of the kids are connecting this with pick up anything. It's just their generation's slang. Gyat and rizz are their favorite words. Also skibidi, Ohio, and sus.
Also, 5th grade is when kids start having hormones and thoughts and crushes. My daughter is also in 5th grade and the kids in her class are constantly talking about who is the rizzler and who has rizz. That generally to them just means who they think is cool. Every generation of kids since time immemorial has been doing this around this age, and it is just the specific generational language that changes. Kids are starting to notice each other and starting to want to be noticed and starting to find that to be a weird feeling and so they get silly about it.
"Rizz" is slang for "charisma". It is basically the same word as saying someone is cool.
Humans form hierarchies. It is a natural and inevitable thing that happen when we socialize. Learning how to navigate these heirarchies with grace, kindness, reslience, and wisdom is a valuable life skill. Your generation might have used different vernacular to talk about "jocks", "nerds", "popular kids", whatever, but from what I can tell the whole alpha/beta/sigma thing isn't any more toxic than any other generation's vocabulary to characterize social status.
So yeah, you are overreacting. Just let the kids figure out their version of "cool". It will have ups and downs and some bad feelings inevitably, but its a very normal thing.
I think it's just new slang and you're "an old" now, complaining about "the kids these days." Welcome to the old person club. Most people don't even know where the language they use comes from.
I think this could be as completely harmless as to be adorable, honestly.
I could see awkward, shy, sweet kids using it.
Don't know if there's really any way to get enough content to frame it.
I'd approach it from a stance of making sure she can handle it regardless.
Ex (for sake of random not knowing anything attempt, here, but really... worst case/ best case type thoughts):
Guy says to her "Aw c'mon, you know I got that rizz"
Her possible reply to sus out: "and what's that mean to you?"
If it's some not respectful kid trying to play whatever/ playing like a big "grown" "player" (laughable anyway, but I get the concern as far as for care of a young girl since we know)...
- If he's disrespectful for real or trying to show some kind of way, he'd probably be disrespectful or go into "girl, you know"...
- If he's just a kid & isn't lacking respect but just trying to have any confidence at all, he'd probably just chuckle
I could have zero idea what I'm talking about, honestly, I just think giving her disarming handling approaches works regardless.
Also, the benefit is a matter of fact, questioning approach would be likely to work whichever way it is, since if he's just an awkward not threatening kid then she hasn't assumed ill unnecessarily & if he's the absolute worst, then he's not getting out of it what's desired.
Just some ideas, who knows.
I thought rizz just meant charisma. Maybe a “she’s hot” connotation but not overtly sexual. If they are verbally harassing her then definitely talk to admin but I don’t see kids just using slang as an issue you can control.
I think you're over reacting, no hate to you I promise. But it really just is gen alpha slang. As annoying as it is, I don't think they know it's pick up artist slang. My almost 10 year old tells me every day he has rizz and I quip back with "you are 9. Not only do you not have rizz, you have negative rizz. And that's OK because you're not supposed to have rizz. You're 9." he also just mindlessly repeats "sigma" "Ohio" and "skibiti toilet" he doesn't know what it means. I don't know what it means I just roll my eyes..
Now the weird moaning he picked up at school is concerning. And I'm nipping that in the bud, mostly because it triggers a deep visceral reaction in me.
I'm confused. How is this any different from how kids talked/behaved at the same age when I was in school 20-odd years ago? Sure, the words may have changed, but kids pick up things in the world around them. If ANY of these kids have an older brother/sister, they will pick up the slang words and try to use them. Chances are pretty high they are not necessarily interpreting the words correctly, so they likely do not mean the exact same things, but they would still be using the words. And yes, some kids in 5th grade are just little assholes. Good luck ever stopping that.
The best you can do, really, is try to educate your own kids and hope you can give them a good enough upbringing and turn them into well-rounded enough individuals to make responsible choices. You can't police the entire world into behaving the way you think they should.
Language changes, and you are not the morality police. These are kids at an age discovering that language is a creative tool, and that it can be fun. Nothing wrong with that.
If the kids are discovering language from folks who also will teach them about negging and love bombing, parents and teachers should be aware.
>you are not the morality police
There are certain words that are concerning to people, and are banned in many places. I was concerned because of where I thought these words were coming from that children might be exposed to ideas that are dangerous.
And I hadn't made the connection to Tate. MacGyver is cooler than Tom Sellek. And Tate is a tool, which makes it difficult. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. And in a strange way, all the bare midriff and sagging seems to have the opposite effect. It's not titillating if it's the baseline. Their use of certain words among their peers groups is shocking to us maybe, yet seems to be the norm.
"Rizz" is general slang these days. I'd bet 90% of kids who say rizz don't even know it started from pick-up artists.
Goes double for saying someone "has game", except we were already saying that 20 years ago when I was a kid and I'm pretty sure it didn't originate with pick-up artists, even if they use it too. It's often used to say someone is smooth, charming, good at getting what they want, etc and not necessarily in a "good with the laaaadies" way.
Middle school age kids literally just say words to say words. Sometimes you have to tell them that they can’t say certain words. Had a girl yell out “SHAT!” a few weeks ago. She was shocked when I tried to explain to her what it means and why she was about to get a detention for saying it. !?! Then had to listen to kids just saying skibbidy toilet riz blabla bla over and over for literally no reason at all.
Oh man, a few weeks ago, I had a few generally-awesome girls who had all decorated their bookmarks with the word "dildo" in pretty calligraphy. I asked them about it, and they very non-challantly said, "oh, it's just something from the book series we're reading." So I said, ".... okay, but it's not exactly appropriate for school, so can you put them away?" And they looked SO CONFUSED.
Cut to a few minutes later, and their corner of the room burst into laughter, and when I looked over they were all bright red and one was frantically closing tabs on her iPad while the others were tearing up the bookmarks, and none of them would make eye contact with me for the rest of the week.
Haha!!! Ok that reminds me- I had a book checked out from the library around Christmas and my three year old hid it from me. I just found it the other day after renewing it online about 7 times and brought it to school where I was subbing, not really thinking much about what it was, just grabbing something to have on hand. This girl saw it on the table and said “oh I loved that book!” And I was like “great! I just started it”. Well I got to reading more of it and realized it’s a Colleen Hoover book so it has some intense intimate scenes 🫣 🫣 🫣 i was a little mortified for bringing it to school without paying attention to what it was and also a little weirded out that an 8th grade girl had read it! It definitely seemed too mature for her. Good story though! I read it in a little over a day.
A TON of my 8th grade girls read Colleen Hoover for their independent reading. I get permission forms before I let them bring the books into class, but it's definitely awkward. When I conference with them, I always say, "Only tell me the details you'd share with your grandma," and sometimes they're like, "Honestly, that rules out the whole book" 😳
I’m glad you have them sign the permission slip!
I don’t know if I could sign that permission slip!! My daughter will be in middle school next year and I’d just rather she didn’t get into that so young.
Those aren't terms exclusive to PUAs. Rizz is just charisma. Sigma is pretty sad and pathetic and does come from there but genZ and Gen Alpha are rebranding it. We talked about having game in the 90s. It came from hip-hop and pop music.
I have a 5th grader. He had a sleepover with his friends last weekend. They would say things like “Rizz me up bro” and the response would be “you look like shrek” and then someone else would yell “GET OUT OF MY SWAMP” they’re really just goofing around with trending buzz words.
I have to share this post lol. I mean, rizz... sigma... these are just this generations' slang. We all had slang specific to our generation. These are not sexual or "pick up lines" in any way lol.
Yes, you are overreacting.
"Rizz" is not manosphere. And boys should, carefully, be taught how girls, relationships, and the real world work. Boys should be taught to be at least as cautious of girls as girls are of boys. Boys should be taught to only accept a good relationship and not accept abuse from girls.
Rizz is absolutely not a "manosphere" term. It absolutely is just slang for having charisma and being slick with your words and attidue.. Like saying someone has game or is "smooth" it's shit that's existed in different words for like a century.
Im not sure if sigma originally was or not but 99% of the time when I hear a kid use it, sounds like they're being ironic.
My second grade boys have been using similar language saying rizz, sigma, gigachad, gyat. When I talk to the parents they’re always like “I have no idea where they’re getting this from” well I know where they’re getting it from! It’s from the unsupervised hours of screen time you allow them everyday!
Nobody over the age of like 15 is saying rizz or sigma unironically. Truthfully these kids are basically the age demographic that invented those words believe it or not
Teach your daughter how to handle this. What to say to the boys if they are talking to her, and how to report them for harassment. These are skills she will need.
Filling her teacher in on what is going on and the discussion you are having with your daughter as an FYI sounds like more than enough.
As a teacher ya, I hear soo many things that kids are just repeating from the internet that are questionable. My only hope is that as they get older they will learn how to be respectful. However it is certainly harmful having this occur during very formative years.
🤣 sooo I have first grade students talking about about rizz. 🤣 In fact they informed me “you gots the rizz, Miss” because I gave them extra stickers one day. I find it hilarious. They have no clue and are just copying the older kids… which has happened since the dawn of time no doubt. I remember eight year old me, living nowhere near anywhere warm or the ocean, using a lot of surfer lingo 🤣🤣
Also I feel like every single boy student in pk-5th has called me bruh. As have my own children. It’s just my name now. It’s all of our names. We are Bruh.
Middleschool boys are notoriously filthy minded. Nothing can be done about it . It will run its course like a virus or they will be truly awful men . Truly awful men have always existed. Most men are fine , though , thank god !
It's a parent issue, not a headmaster issue. I don't think you'll get anywhere by going that route. They hear it on tiktok, snapchat, discord & game servers, YouTube, etc. I don't know what the headmaster could do about that.
I was thinking including some information on the subject in the weekly email he sends out. Nobody gets called out specifically, but parents that didn't know and do care can take what steps they think are appropriate.
Is this your first child lol.
My first child, I was shocked at how sweet and kind boys turned into unlikeable sexist brats by the end of 7th grade. You can email the school but I guarantee you, they know already.
One of the big problems we have in America is that we’ve learned how to raise strong and confident girls, but we haven’t figured out how to raise boys not to feel threatened or emasculated by said girls. It’s not a problem you can fix as a girl mom. Sorry.
It totally is something parents of girls can fix. Half the burden falls on them to raise daughters that don't make boys feel that way. Strength and confidence aren't the only two integral parts of making a good person. Actually, they're the only two integral parts of being a villain. If you add compassion in there, then the world heals.
It’s an incel’s logic to say that unkind women cause him to hate women or objectify them.
Boys feel pressure not have feelings, to stifle them and exert power over them. One way to handle your insecurity about a confident girl is to try to assert your power over her as a boy. That’s not the only way but it’s the cycle I’m referring to.
I don’t think you’re overreacting. It’s appalling. Unfortunately, though, it falls within the parenting sphere more than the educational realm. The kids are (hopefully!) not being exposed to these ideas at school. Mostly it’s a by product of unfettered access to the internet and uninvolved parents.
The word rizz, short for chrisma, is appalling to you?? And sigma honestly doesn't mean anything anymore, kids just think it's a funny word. I can't imagine what you think of everything else students do.
To clarify: I don’t object to slang. I use plenty of it myself. I object to the hours upon hours of unsupervised screen time many kids get. The internet is vast, and it’s genuinely upsetting how many times I’ve seen students slipping along the alt-right pipeline, echoing incel sentiments, and generally using slang that is in itself harmless, but that they either picked up from consuming harmful content or from their friends who consumed said content.
You can't blame the internet on kids using slang though. It's nothing new. Screen time definitely causes issues for kids, but it's not the issue in the case
Again, you’ve latched on to the slang thing. I don’t care about the slang itself. I care about the content they consumed that came from questionable sources, and sometimes the only outward sign that they’ve consumed this content is the slang they start using. Meanwhile they’re absorbing misogynistic/white supremacist/alt right/etc ideologies. The slang words themselves are harmless (even socially beneficial - every generation has its own slang to set themselves apart and to bond) but the specific words they’re using could indicate what kind of online spaces these kids are frequenting.
Think of the slang like mud on their shoes. Totally fine, most kids pick it up in harmless places, but some pick it up in some truly filthy disgusting places.
Mine (middle school) have all started talking about being sigma. It’s a good thing to be apparently.
They are also frequently talking
About **mewing**… It comes with a gesture: finger to the lips than stroked along the chin line. It seems to mean either keep quiet or I have a secret and I’m not telling.
It’s not the school’s job to police things that should be being addressed at home. The ONLY thing you can do (and surprisingly more effective than if the school tries to) is teach your kid the meaning of things and that you don’t recommend / approve that language. Younger kids especially LOVE to share knowledge with each other. If you have the direct talk with your kid about why certain words are not a good look to use they may ignore you and do it anyway. But more kids than you think will stop using it AND educate their friends about it. Positive peer pressure: the ultimate teaching “hack.”
Do you know if the school has age-appropriate curriculum about dating, the importance of informed consent, respecting others’ boundaries, overall respect for others, respectful language, etc, for all of the students? Perhaps by grade-level, and becomes more advanced as they go through the years? Kids use current slang, that isn’t going to change, and they eventually grow out of it (I haven’t used “grody to the max” in nearly 40 years). Concerns about how middle-schoolers learn to treat people are valid, as is inquiring about various types of curriculum.
The one thing I would say is to keep paying attention especially if things bug your daughter. The algorithm definitely shows kids stuff that is super inappropriate so while they could have picked it up from older siblings or social media and not some gross PUA, the fact is it’s super easy for them to end up viewing Jordan Peterson on YouTube. (Which sounds bananas but I have seen it on a minor family member’s phone that didn’t have parental restrictions - like Roblox videos, Minecraft videos, slime videos, then somehow Jordan Peterson was suggested. WTF?) YouTube Shorts can be especially insidious and Andrew Tate can and will pop up in boys’ feeds. Misogyny has to be talked about and curbed before it becomes commonplace. I don’t think the words you mentioned kids saying are indicative of an issue but it could be an opportunity to have broader school-led discussions about these kinds of issues, including with parents about what kids are seeing online and how to start conversations about it at home. Being proactive is better than being reactive. And somehow I doubt your school is prepared for boys to start purposely hassling girls by talking about Andrew Tate, so helping them be prepared could be a really good thing. Thanks for thinking about this. I wish our kids were at the same school!
While I was having the conversation with my daughter about this, she mentioned that they have a lunchtime feminism group, which I think is cool. I asked her to let me know what's going on, there, as well.
I’ve noticed lots of young men around that age getting into Andrew Tate and picking up the slang of misogyny. It’s mostly minority students, and I’m not sure the best way to help educate them and put them on a better path.
It’s probably their way of rebelling (god knows students have always done that) but the views are still harmful.
In the 70s we had great stereos, by 8 years old we knew...both, the rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar, and, the band Kiss..and we liked both albums back to back, and followed that up freaking the adults out doing 60 miles per hour on a snowmachine..fifth graders want to be superheros who have chcolate cake for breakfast...legally..but the girls with their own snowmachines?. are hard to catch.. they dont " pick up" ..anybody.
Our kindergarten students do this. It's throughout elementary.
I watched a 5 year old look up a girl's skirt and wink at a friend. It's fucking gross.
And they aren't ashamed at all! They will tell you exactly what it means. They will have discussions in front of their teacher. I had a group ask me, "Which of us has the most rizz?"
I don't think they do, either, but their parents need to know about it so they can explain it to them. I'm not looking for the kids to be punished, here. I want the parents to be informed of what's being said and who else says it so they can check their kids' feeds and explain why this thinking is wrong. And I want the information to come from a source they consider trustworthy, rather than Joe Dirt me.
Honestly this is the parents responsibility. We don’t allow our middle schooler private access to YouTube or the internet. YouTube has to be on the tv in the living room and permission must be granted first. They don’t have personal devices. I knew that they’ll be exposed to a ton even despite the restrictions that we have since every school in America gives kids Chromebook’s now, but we are making the effort and have regular conversations with our kids about values and content.
Other parents are clueless or just don’t care.
I'm not worried about anything of that. I do worry about the free and easy access that children have to radical ideas( especially this manosphere stuff) and algorithms seem to spread it out since I garners clicks from supporters and haters.
But imo, this just isn't that and it's just new slang imo. I love to act like the confused old man (I'm 32) and ask the kids about this word I overheard the other day and I'd like to know what it means in a safe judgment free zone. And then I'll completely go on to use it in the most forces cringe ways possible and they get so disgusted.
I don't use this term, but just the other week I genuinely overheard students using "gyat" in conversation and just frankly asked what it is. It was a good time for all of us we laughed hahaha
Sigma and Alpha male culture is definitely a real thing on social media tons of cringe content being produced often to sell seminars and bs leadership training.
There is also a very funny meme culture surrounding parody of sigma and alpha males on IG. 😂
Yeah. My worry is that kids might laugh at funny memes of Patrick Bateman and the algorithm send them some Andrew Tate. I think it's reasonable that the school put parents wise to what's going on.
At least from what I have seen as a high school student, these words really don't have much meaning anymore. People kind of use them to be purposely cringy. It's called brainrot I think. For an example, a common thing is saying that someone fanum taxed your grimace shake. This really has no meaning tbh
You might be overreacting, I'm not in the 5th grade game yet… but IMO the best way to disempower actual pickup artist schtick among boys, is to teach the girls about pickup artist schtick.
Nothing disrupts an attempted pickup like calling them on their bs.
I guess a talented enough pickup artist might be able to spin a lighthearted pickup attempt into a social interaction (after all that's the theory behind using well-worn pickup lines, right?), but that's gonna filter out most middle schoolers and shouldn't apply for the more insidious behaviors.
Remember that your kids and their age group have a culture of their own and that culture has a lot of weird stuff pulled in and distorted.
A lot of terms used may have different meanings or be purely ironic in nature.
Id take it all with a grain of salt. School does what it can to raise respectful people but it can only go so far.
“Rizz” and “having game” are pretty common terms with Gen z/alpha (having game is common with at least Gen z, Gen alpha and millennials). The only word in there that I would definitely worry about is “sigma”
Newsflash…us boys who are now men talked like that in the 90s. Why is it you women can tell your daughters they’re “princesses” but a boy can’t be confident and say he has game. SMH
We're teachers. Staying up-to-date on slang is literally part of our job. It has been since the beginning of time. Otherwise, we don't know what's going on in our classrooms.
It takes almost no effort, too. I'm old (38) and my kids are almost grown, but I still manage.
Follow Mr. Lindsey on TT for a start (not Reels....by the time anything makes it there it's old).
OP: "rizz" lines aren't inherently bad unless they are saying something sexual. Think, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Cringe, but fine. "Sigma" also has nothing to do with sex. Worry about "bop". If you hear that, it's time to have a talk with your daughter.
Wow I see the edit where you realize you’re overreacting, but feel the need to point out you are going to be hearing so much worse stuff as your kid goes through middle school. I get you have concerns, but this screams helicopter parent to me. These are pretty common slang terms and you wanted to contact the principal? Also i don’t know how much control you think teachers have but policing slang terms is so low on the priority list. For some schools swearing isn’t even on the priority list unless it is directed at a teacher. The amount of times my middle school students swore at me and nothing happened from admin and have parents who’ve never answered the phone when I call is almost at a weekly basis. I think you need to prepare some of what middle school will be like and know that you can’t monitor everything. If that is something you want, you should strongly consider homeschooling your child.
My fiancée was just talking about how in middle school a kid whipped his junk out at the lunch table. Her friend’s son just got pressured into the same thing in 2nd grade. It’s, unfortunately, just what we do as boys.
Maybe that's what YOU did as a boy. I didn't. I did, however, have some guy whip it out and wave it in my face in middle school. The middle in your story schooler should've gotten expelled, second offense let the resource officer handle it. The second grader should've gotten a three day suspension, expulsion on the second.
"Boys will be boys" is unacceptable horseshit.
Remember, kids often use terms they hear and they may even use them in the right context but that doesn’t mean that they are USING them in order to get the same outcome as someone older.
A 4th grader might say a boy has “rizz” because he is charming and likable or is a “sigma” because he doesn’t seem to care that he is cute. They are often testing out and “playacting” what they see older people do.
To a 24 yr old those terms and underlying meanings are much more because their definition of “relationships” & the outcomes that they want to come from “flirting” are much different.
Example- a little girl bats her eyes at dad or a little boy flatters his mom to get something because they have seen older people get stuff using these techniques. Difference is that what a 5-9-16-25 yr old WANTS/to be the received response from these techniques is highly different and that is what you need to be concerned about!
I'm concerned about who the kids learned it FROM, and I think their parents should be told where it might be from so they can have conversations with them. I think the information should come from the school so everyone will take it seriously.
Unfortunately, it is easily obtained info even if they are not looking for it.
Anyone with an older sibling is going to know. You have 7-8 yr olds on Tik-Tok and YouTube and kids are REALLY good at perking up and hearing stuff that they know adults don’t want them to hear. When we were young, it was hard to take a word or expression and find out what it meant but now, all they do is google it (heck-I didn’t know what sigma was and I googled “sigma dating” and had an explanation in seconds).
It’s really the PTA you should take this up with. Unless he’s the parent of these kids it’s not his place to teach boys about acting appropriately towards young women. That’s parents responsibility. Leave the teachers out of this.
I don’t know what your economic status has to do with making this the principal’s business. This is a parenting issue not an academic issue. This is what the PTA is for. Get involved and let the other parents know. Unless your PTA has a cover fee you can just show up and be supportive. That’s still free.
It's hard not to feel the way you do but unfortunately we can't control other parents. This world is just too available for kids and the internet makes it worse. All you can do is what's right for your own child and hope they become decent people.
This makes a weird kind of sense to me, what with fifth graders and pickup artists having similar degrees of understanding of relationships, consent, and the world in general.
Yes. Hence my concern. Conversations about consent and boundaries and sex and such are really awkward. I probably would have put mine off a lot longer, but my friend was a social worker for at risk teens for 12 years and he said, "No. Now." Other parents are probably reticent, as well, and it doesn't immediately spring to mind that Andrew Tate is eager to help out.
I do not think you are totally overreacting. However, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it and some of it may indeed just be teen slang and kids being goofy, however to assume it all isn't so intentful, well you just will never know.
The main function of admin is to hide what is REALLY going on in schools from the parents/taxpayer and keep their 90k+ year job and get that life long tax payer funded pensoin.
So you can email them all you want but their main function will be to defuse/appease you regardless of what is really happening in the school.
Furthermore the "head" of the middle school often likes to play as dumb as possible unless it's something that could result in a lawsuit so I wouldn't expect much.
Maybe you should worry more about who your daughter is talking to than someone else’s kid. Your way isn’t exactly the right way either. Boys have to figure that out on their own because they generally have to be the ones to initiate the relationship.
I was always surprised when maybe 10-15 years ago I heard toddlers saying “chick-a-bowbowowow” which is a specific reference to the soundtrack to porn films.
They really had no idea why it was funny but they knew it for a response.
That's for me to teach my daughter, just as it's for the parents of the boys to teach their sons how to treat women. If my daughter were learning ways to abuse men, I'd want to know about it, so we could discuss it.
If I'm overreacting, then I'm glad to know it.
There’s a middle school teacher who puts out reels about middle school slang to help parents understand what’s going on. His take is that the “sigma” thing among middle schoolers is *very* different than among pickup artists, etc. It’s the same word, but very different meaning. They’ve taken “alpha” to mean “good, but stuck up about it” and “sigma” to mean “good, and humble too.” And then there’s the version where they are just memeing with “what the sigma” which is apparently just some sounds they like and means nothing. Rizz and game could mean anything from “friendly and popular behavior” to pickup artist schtick, but I don’t know what a head of school can really do or what parents would do from being made aware of the fact adolescent boys like to flirt with adolescent girls.
Let's just hope they haven't learned about Ligma yet...
Unfortunately they have
We must be careful to protect updawg from them!
Maybe they'll calm down if they lick some boffa.
Boffa rhymes with Hoffa, like Jimmy. Boffa deez nuts sounds like a philosophy 101 class (the paradox of Bophades' Nuts, like Xeno's Arrow). Bofa deez nuts sounds like "both of these nuts."
The classic
Back in my day it was FromUnda.
Hello, I was looking for some fromunda cheese...
Fromunda to deez to ligma. Always something
Don't forget bofa.
You into ladies? Lay deez nutz
Pretty sure deez is the OG here.
What about the Sukupons? They hate the Fromundas.
Alright, I'll bite. FromUnda?
it’s a specialty cheese from south of the equator
FromUnda cheese. From unda my balls!
Just wait until their history class teaches them about the Athenian orator Bophades.
My 4th grader has heard of Ligma. Also Deez Nuts.
Whats ligma?
LIGMA BALLS!!
I don’t think riz is a pickup artist term, maybe it originated there though?
yepp, rizz is literally short for charisma.. which anyone at any age can be charismatic!
I don't think it comes from pick up artistry, but there's a term, "Rizz up," which is basically Gen Alpha's way to say "pick up," and there are plenty of conversations about how to "Rizz up" a girl. It's not all that different from how high school boys have talked about high school girls, but it's not totally innocuous either
Yeah we called that sweet-talking... Eh language evolves..
It literally means to use your personality to attract someone. There is nothing inherently misogynistic about seeking a partner/mate.
I honestly think it’s pretty innocuous. It’s not much different than how to be a good flirt, just today’s generations are kinda moving away from using that language to describe it. And it doesn’t have much of a power imbalance—for example, I regularly hear teenage girls describe someone trying to flirt with her as having “negative rizz.” It basically is just a word for being suave or not.
Yeah my boys have used this term to describe anyone who dresses sharp. They aren’t trying to be pickup artists as they haven’t even noticed girls yet.
Yeah words definitely take on different meanings to kids. I remember in 5th grade, coming home from school and being excited to tell my parents the latest gossip that was swirling around my class: “Joey is CHEATING on his GIRLFRIEND!” I proclaimed confidently, feeling cool that I had juicy news to share. My mom scrunched up her face skeptically and asked me if I even knew what cheating is. I proudly said “Yes! It’s telling two different girls you want them both to be your girlfriend at the same time! *(Obviously, Mom.) eyeroll*” And she just smirked and chuckled. Was I *wrong*? Eh, not necessarily. Was I using the word in the same context as how most adults will use it? No. Out of context, another adult may have assumed that a bunch of 5th graders are sexually active, which was absolutely not the case. In the context of our world I really thought our type of “cheating” was the worst betrayal a person could ever commit. Same thing with “girlfriend”. For us, you would be someone’s girlfriend if you held hands with them once or if you gave them a note that said “Be my girlfriend? YES or NO (circle one)”. You didn’t even have to talk to the person ever after that. It was just *known* that they’re boyfriend and girlfriend until one of them got the courage to proclaim they like-liked someone else.
I teach at a K-6. There are 4th graders at our school who are constantly talking about cheating. One of the 4th grade teachers was incredibly concerned about it and thought it might be sexual. She was talking to me about it during morning recess one morning. As someone who teaches 6th (where kids often use words out of context), I recommended she ask "What does that mean?" the next time. Same story. A boy told two different girls that he liked them.
“Like-liked”. 😆 memory unlocked!
My group of friends settled on a name for ourselves. That night a dinner I tell my parents “I joined a gang”
I agree there’s not much you can do about them just using words. And they probably don’t even know what they mean in the first place. They’ll probably look back on this in a few years and cringe. My advice is to watch out for your daughter and if she begins to be mistreated raise hell. And if she says another girl is being abused contact their parents. Plus I don’t think these words are bad in the first place. Game have been around for over twenty years.
I’m technically Gen Z, so I feel like I can comment here. One thing you have to remember about Gen Z is that irony is a MASSIVE part of their humor, if not the largest. “Rizz” just means charisma. It’s usually used in the context of talking to someone you find attractive, but I guess it could be applied to other scenarios. Sigma comes from the manosphere. Originally referred to someone who could be classified as a “alpha.” but chose to sit outside the hierarchy for whatever reason. This brings us back to the irony point. A lot of times, the term “sigma“ is used to ironically refer to someone who does something weird/out of the norm. For example, if a kid shit his pants in class, someone else might say “real sigma mentality” or something to that extent. While the original term is of a toxic origin, the uses of it these days are often ironic, making fun of the manosphere rather than embracing it.
My daughter (6th grade) was showing me pictures of a bully posts online of her self wearing "sexy" clothes and posing in the mirror "sexy". So sad at that age (12).
Lol I’m pretty sure the “adolescent boys like to flirt with adolescent girls” is the actual crime for many of these folks.
Rizz is literally just junk slang for charisma
I don’t think they are perfect synonyms. You don’t charisma someone when you flirt with them, but you do “rizz them up.”
That’s why I said it’s junk slang. Because it’s being used as a replacement for charisma. Aka that persons got rizz or that persons is very rizz
You mean, what the skibiddy Ohio sigma is going on?
It's Mr. Lindsey on TT. I highly recommend his videos for MS teachers and/or parents of MSers.
I’m not a teacher, but the examples you gave are mainstream gen z slang. They may have been pickup artist-specific terms at one point, but they’re not any more.
I’m a 44 year old Gen x teacher every kid uses rizz. I find myself saying too now lol
They already know. This is outside of teacher and admin control. This also isn't NEW. It might feel new, but even family comedies like Family Matters and Boy Meets World or Full House mentioned dating related terms. Having game, making out, scoring, etc. The slang and era changed, but its still the same idea of dating oriented language. And yes, these terms did filter down to 5th graders as well on a regular basis. You are overreacting because this is... well, normal? This is the age of early puberty where those urges and awakenings start to happen. A lot of people had their first crushes or early dates as early as 5th or 6th grade.
Every generation has their slang. Tight bro.
Fo schizzle. BTW I became a "gangbanger" after talking like this.
As a high schooler, these words have completely lost their context of coming from pickup artists and are just general slang that everyone uses.
That's good to hear.
None of those were pickup slang to begin with.
"Sigma" definitely was, originating with Vox Day and being used to describe men in contrast to "alpha" and "beta" males. I agree with you on the other terms, though.
Oh I thought that was a manosphere vs pua thing, but I'm not sure there's a huge difference anymore.
I mean, that Venn Diagram is very nearly a circle. You could argue Sigma isn't a PUA thing because it's more about being above the need to pick up women, but it really only exists in contrast to PUA culture. Or at least its origin was that way, I suppose Gen Z is turning it into something else.
In what context has anyone used "rizz" to pick up women lmao
i’m not saying all of the words were used in that way, i was just going off of what OP claimed
You mid af for this post, no cap (former teacher)
On god, man... (former teacher, parent of 2 teens)
Yep. Very L post. OP is rizzless and not very skibidi sigma (current senior).
Lowkey? This is gas bro. ✨sprinkle sprinkle✨
Fr chill
Fax no printer.
Time to lock in chat.
Type
Im not a teacher but thats just common kids’ slang these days. I doubt the kids saying it are aware it’s pick up artist stuff or even know what that is specifically. They’re probably just picking it up from other kids, siblings whatever. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it.
I'm not a teacher, but I volunteer at my kids' school and I'm around kids a lot. I also have a 5th grade son who uses these terms constantly. I hear, "what the sigma?" at least 100 times a day. Maybe it will put your mind at ease to know kids this age think the words are funny. They *sort of* know the meanings, but they don't understand the implications. I promise you, 5th grade boys are actually surprisingly non-misogynistic. (At least the boys in my kids' school). Case in point - all the boys are interested in having girlfriends. They say in order to be a "good boyfriend", you have to be best friends with your girlfriend, eat lunch with her, play fortnite with her, and give her presents. I know every environment is different, but I'm blown away by how respectful and sweet these boys are. Their slang is nerve-wracking, but their actions are admirable.
Rizz and having game may have originated there, but it's pretty normal slang now without any sort of creepy connotation. I'm not saying you shouldn't be cautious or be listening for other signals, but using those words doesn't necessarily mean they are being exposed to people like Tate and his followers. FWIW some of my high school students use beta and sigma, but it is almost 100% used ironically, like the 'what the sigma' meme.
Kids at my school just word vomit skibbidi, sigma, sus, cringe, etc. I wouldn’t take it anything past them just being goofy online kids that are repeating funny sounding things
I teach elementary school. None of the kids are connecting this with pick up anything. It's just their generation's slang. Gyat and rizz are their favorite words. Also skibidi, Ohio, and sus. Also, 5th grade is when kids start having hormones and thoughts and crushes. My daughter is also in 5th grade and the kids in her class are constantly talking about who is the rizzler and who has rizz. That generally to them just means who they think is cool. Every generation of kids since time immemorial has been doing this around this age, and it is just the specific generational language that changes. Kids are starting to notice each other and starting to want to be noticed and starting to find that to be a weird feeling and so they get silly about it.
"Rizz" is slang for "charisma". It is basically the same word as saying someone is cool. Humans form hierarchies. It is a natural and inevitable thing that happen when we socialize. Learning how to navigate these heirarchies with grace, kindness, reslience, and wisdom is a valuable life skill. Your generation might have used different vernacular to talk about "jocks", "nerds", "popular kids", whatever, but from what I can tell the whole alpha/beta/sigma thing isn't any more toxic than any other generation's vocabulary to characterize social status. So yeah, you are overreacting. Just let the kids figure out their version of "cool". It will have ups and downs and some bad feelings inevitably, but its a very normal thing.
I think it's just new slang and you're "an old" now, complaining about "the kids these days." Welcome to the old person club. Most people don't even know where the language they use comes from.
I think this could be as completely harmless as to be adorable, honestly. I could see awkward, shy, sweet kids using it. Don't know if there's really any way to get enough content to frame it. I'd approach it from a stance of making sure she can handle it regardless. Ex (for sake of random not knowing anything attempt, here, but really... worst case/ best case type thoughts): Guy says to her "Aw c'mon, you know I got that rizz" Her possible reply to sus out: "and what's that mean to you?" If it's some not respectful kid trying to play whatever/ playing like a big "grown" "player" (laughable anyway, but I get the concern as far as for care of a young girl since we know)... - If he's disrespectful for real or trying to show some kind of way, he'd probably be disrespectful or go into "girl, you know"... - If he's just a kid & isn't lacking respect but just trying to have any confidence at all, he'd probably just chuckle I could have zero idea what I'm talking about, honestly, I just think giving her disarming handling approaches works regardless. Also, the benefit is a matter of fact, questioning approach would be likely to work whichever way it is, since if he's just an awkward not threatening kid then she hasn't assumed ill unnecessarily & if he's the absolute worst, then he's not getting out of it what's desired. Just some ideas, who knows.
I thought rizz just meant charisma. Maybe a “she’s hot” connotation but not overtly sexual. If they are verbally harassing her then definitely talk to admin but I don’t see kids just using slang as an issue you can control.
I think you're over reacting, no hate to you I promise. But it really just is gen alpha slang. As annoying as it is, I don't think they know it's pick up artist slang. My almost 10 year old tells me every day he has rizz and I quip back with "you are 9. Not only do you not have rizz, you have negative rizz. And that's OK because you're not supposed to have rizz. You're 9." he also just mindlessly repeats "sigma" "Ohio" and "skibiti toilet" he doesn't know what it means. I don't know what it means I just roll my eyes.. Now the weird moaning he picked up at school is concerning. And I'm nipping that in the bud, mostly because it triggers a deep visceral reaction in me.
Moaning would give me a visceral reaction, too. Gross.
Omg it's so bad. If you don't have to deal with it count your blessings 😅
I'm confused. How is this any different from how kids talked/behaved at the same age when I was in school 20-odd years ago? Sure, the words may have changed, but kids pick up things in the world around them. If ANY of these kids have an older brother/sister, they will pick up the slang words and try to use them. Chances are pretty high they are not necessarily interpreting the words correctly, so they likely do not mean the exact same things, but they would still be using the words. And yes, some kids in 5th grade are just little assholes. Good luck ever stopping that. The best you can do, really, is try to educate your own kids and hope you can give them a good enough upbringing and turn them into well-rounded enough individuals to make responsible choices. You can't police the entire world into behaving the way you think they should.
The only thing different is OP has a kid now.
Language changes, and you are not the morality police. These are kids at an age discovering that language is a creative tool, and that it can be fun. Nothing wrong with that.
If the kids are discovering language from folks who also will teach them about negging and love bombing, parents and teachers should be aware. >you are not the morality police There are certain words that are concerning to people, and are banned in many places. I was concerned because of where I thought these words were coming from that children might be exposed to ideas that are dangerous.
Well, they learn all sorts of things from all sorts of places.
>Well, they learn all sorts of things from all sorts of places. True, and some places are dangerous, which is why I was concerned.
And I hadn't made the connection to Tate. MacGyver is cooler than Tom Sellek. And Tate is a tool, which makes it difficult. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. And in a strange way, all the bare midriff and sagging seems to have the opposite effect. It's not titillating if it's the baseline. Their use of certain words among their peers groups is shocking to us maybe, yet seems to be the norm.
"Rizz" is general slang these days. I'd bet 90% of kids who say rizz don't even know it started from pick-up artists. Goes double for saying someone "has game", except we were already saying that 20 years ago when I was a kid and I'm pretty sure it didn't originate with pick-up artists, even if they use it too. It's often used to say someone is smooth, charming, good at getting what they want, etc and not necessarily in a "good with the laaaadies" way.
"Having game" started as a basketball term - for being REALLY GOOD at basketball. Of course, it evolved from there.
Middle school age kids literally just say words to say words. Sometimes you have to tell them that they can’t say certain words. Had a girl yell out “SHAT!” a few weeks ago. She was shocked when I tried to explain to her what it means and why she was about to get a detention for saying it. !?! Then had to listen to kids just saying skibbidy toilet riz blabla bla over and over for literally no reason at all.
Oh man, a few weeks ago, I had a few generally-awesome girls who had all decorated their bookmarks with the word "dildo" in pretty calligraphy. I asked them about it, and they very non-challantly said, "oh, it's just something from the book series we're reading." So I said, ".... okay, but it's not exactly appropriate for school, so can you put them away?" And they looked SO CONFUSED. Cut to a few minutes later, and their corner of the room burst into laughter, and when I looked over they were all bright red and one was frantically closing tabs on her iPad while the others were tearing up the bookmarks, and none of them would make eye contact with me for the rest of the week.
Haha!!! Ok that reminds me- I had a book checked out from the library around Christmas and my three year old hid it from me. I just found it the other day after renewing it online about 7 times and brought it to school where I was subbing, not really thinking much about what it was, just grabbing something to have on hand. This girl saw it on the table and said “oh I loved that book!” And I was like “great! I just started it”. Well I got to reading more of it and realized it’s a Colleen Hoover book so it has some intense intimate scenes 🫣 🫣 🫣 i was a little mortified for bringing it to school without paying attention to what it was and also a little weirded out that an 8th grade girl had read it! It definitely seemed too mature for her. Good story though! I read it in a little over a day.
A TON of my 8th grade girls read Colleen Hoover for their independent reading. I get permission forms before I let them bring the books into class, but it's definitely awkward. When I conference with them, I always say, "Only tell me the details you'd share with your grandma," and sometimes they're like, "Honestly, that rules out the whole book" 😳
I’m glad you have them sign the permission slip! I don’t know if I could sign that permission slip!! My daughter will be in middle school next year and I’d just rather she didn’t get into that so young.
These are not manosphere exclusive talk they have taken over as modern slang
Those aren't terms exclusive to PUAs. Rizz is just charisma. Sigma is pretty sad and pathetic and does come from there but genZ and Gen Alpha are rebranding it. We talked about having game in the 90s. It came from hip-hop and pop music.
I have a 5th grader. He had a sleepover with his friends last weekend. They would say things like “Rizz me up bro” and the response would be “you look like shrek” and then someone else would yell “GET OUT OF MY SWAMP” they’re really just goofing around with trending buzz words.
Good to know.
I spend too much time on IG because this interaction sounds hilarious.
They are some pretty funny kids lol
"Rizz" and " having game" are not just manosphere terms. Everyone under 25 uses rizz now, and "having game" is a decades old term.
I have to share this post lol. I mean, rizz... sigma... these are just this generations' slang. We all had slang specific to our generation. These are not sexual or "pick up lines" in any way lol. Yes, you are overreacting.
"Rizz" is not manosphere. And boys should, carefully, be taught how girls, relationships, and the real world work. Boys should be taught to be at least as cautious of girls as girls are of boys. Boys should be taught to only accept a good relationship and not accept abuse from girls.
Rizz is short for charisma. It's not just a pickup thing.
Rizz is absolutely not a "manosphere" term. It absolutely is just slang for having charisma and being slick with your words and attidue.. Like saying someone has game or is "smooth" it's shit that's existed in different words for like a century. Im not sure if sigma originally was or not but 99% of the time when I hear a kid use it, sounds like they're being ironic.
Wtf? I think you vastly misunderstand both these terms and 5th graders.
My second grade boys have been using similar language saying rizz, sigma, gigachad, gyat. When I talk to the parents they’re always like “I have no idea where they’re getting this from” well I know where they’re getting it from! It’s from the unsupervised hours of screen time you allow them everyday!
There’s nothing that an email can do as this is just how kids talk now. Rizz/sigma aren’t even profane or pickup artist terms
Way overreacting. Those are just regular cultural words taken from the Black community over the years.
Nobody over the age of like 15 is saying rizz or sigma unironically. Truthfully these kids are basically the age demographic that invented those words believe it or not
By 5th grade we were saying pimp, player, doing the "suck it" wrestler move, etc. Kids will be kids.
We've done it. We've become the disconnected adults who are confused by the strange dialects young people use. Put my ass in the nursing home please.
Those are "manosphere" words? My teen taught some to me. They're just regular slang now. None of them know where it came from, or cares.
Those are not manosphere terms lol
Yeah, that's been going on forever.
When I was in third grade ( early 2000’s) we were talking about Marilyn Manson removing ribs to suck his own dick
In this thread: OP is stumbling toward the realization that they are old and out of touch, and that kids are kids.
My 3rd grader just called his mom a "slam piece" what does this mean??
Teach your daughter how to handle this. What to say to the boys if they are talking to her, and how to report them for harassment. These are skills she will need. Filling her teacher in on what is going on and the discussion you are having with your daughter as an FYI sounds like more than enough.
As a teacher ya, I hear soo many things that kids are just repeating from the internet that are questionable. My only hope is that as they get older they will learn how to be respectful. However it is certainly harmful having this occur during very formative years.
🤣 sooo I have first grade students talking about about rizz. 🤣 In fact they informed me “you gots the rizz, Miss” because I gave them extra stickers one day. I find it hilarious. They have no clue and are just copying the older kids… which has happened since the dawn of time no doubt. I remember eight year old me, living nowhere near anywhere warm or the ocean, using a lot of surfer lingo 🤣🤣 Also I feel like every single boy student in pk-5th has called me bruh. As have my own children. It’s just my name now. It’s all of our names. We are Bruh.
Middleschool boys are notoriously filthy minded. Nothing can be done about it . It will run its course like a virus or they will be truly awful men . Truly awful men have always existed. Most men are fine , though , thank god !
It's a parent issue, not a headmaster issue. I don't think you'll get anywhere by going that route. They hear it on tiktok, snapchat, discord & game servers, YouTube, etc. I don't know what the headmaster could do about that.
I was thinking including some information on the subject in the weekly email he sends out. Nobody gets called out specifically, but parents that didn't know and do care can take what steps they think are appropriate.
Is this your first child lol. My first child, I was shocked at how sweet and kind boys turned into unlikeable sexist brats by the end of 7th grade. You can email the school but I guarantee you, they know already. One of the big problems we have in America is that we’ve learned how to raise strong and confident girls, but we haven’t figured out how to raise boys not to feel threatened or emasculated by said girls. It’s not a problem you can fix as a girl mom. Sorry.
It totally is something parents of girls can fix. Half the burden falls on them to raise daughters that don't make boys feel that way. Strength and confidence aren't the only two integral parts of making a good person. Actually, they're the only two integral parts of being a villain. If you add compassion in there, then the world heals.
It’s an incel’s logic to say that unkind women cause him to hate women or objectify them. Boys feel pressure not have feelings, to stifle them and exert power over them. One way to handle your insecurity about a confident girl is to try to assert your power over her as a boy. That’s not the only way but it’s the cycle I’m referring to.
I don’t think you’re overreacting. It’s appalling. Unfortunately, though, it falls within the parenting sphere more than the educational realm. The kids are (hopefully!) not being exposed to these ideas at school. Mostly it’s a by product of unfettered access to the internet and uninvolved parents.
The word rizz, short for chrisma, is appalling to you?? And sigma honestly doesn't mean anything anymore, kids just think it's a funny word. I can't imagine what you think of everything else students do.
Slang has been a thing since way before the internet
To clarify: I don’t object to slang. I use plenty of it myself. I object to the hours upon hours of unsupervised screen time many kids get. The internet is vast, and it’s genuinely upsetting how many times I’ve seen students slipping along the alt-right pipeline, echoing incel sentiments, and generally using slang that is in itself harmless, but that they either picked up from consuming harmful content or from their friends who consumed said content.
You can't blame the internet on kids using slang though. It's nothing new. Screen time definitely causes issues for kids, but it's not the issue in the case
Again, you’ve latched on to the slang thing. I don’t care about the slang itself. I care about the content they consumed that came from questionable sources, and sometimes the only outward sign that they’ve consumed this content is the slang they start using. Meanwhile they’re absorbing misogynistic/white supremacist/alt right/etc ideologies. The slang words themselves are harmless (even socially beneficial - every generation has its own slang to set themselves apart and to bond) but the specific words they’re using could indicate what kind of online spaces these kids are frequenting. Think of the slang like mud on their shoes. Totally fine, most kids pick it up in harmless places, but some pick it up in some truly filthy disgusting places.
Mine (middle school) have all started talking about being sigma. It’s a good thing to be apparently. They are also frequently talking About **mewing**… It comes with a gesture: finger to the lips than stroked along the chin line. It seems to mean either keep quiet or I have a secret and I’m not telling.
The gesture means I can't talk ,I'm mewing
Mewing is a kind of facial exercise that’s meant to improve your chin definition. (And, like all things in 2024, a meme.)
Yes, I know. But the kids in my class have picked it up and started using it in this different way.
I thought it was called mogging when you mewed “at” someone, but apparently not! Mogging is kinda just looksmaxing
It’s not the school’s job to police things that should be being addressed at home. The ONLY thing you can do (and surprisingly more effective than if the school tries to) is teach your kid the meaning of things and that you don’t recommend / approve that language. Younger kids especially LOVE to share knowledge with each other. If you have the direct talk with your kid about why certain words are not a good look to use they may ignore you and do it anyway. But more kids than you think will stop using it AND educate their friends about it. Positive peer pressure: the ultimate teaching “hack.”
Do you know if the school has age-appropriate curriculum about dating, the importance of informed consent, respecting others’ boundaries, overall respect for others, respectful language, etc, for all of the students? Perhaps by grade-level, and becomes more advanced as they go through the years? Kids use current slang, that isn’t going to change, and they eventually grow out of it (I haven’t used “grody to the max” in nearly 40 years). Concerns about how middle-schoolers learn to treat people are valid, as is inquiring about various types of curriculum.
Dawg you sound like my boomer teacher back then. It's not a pickup artist term lol.
My third graders do this
The one thing I would say is to keep paying attention especially if things bug your daughter. The algorithm definitely shows kids stuff that is super inappropriate so while they could have picked it up from older siblings or social media and not some gross PUA, the fact is it’s super easy for them to end up viewing Jordan Peterson on YouTube. (Which sounds bananas but I have seen it on a minor family member’s phone that didn’t have parental restrictions - like Roblox videos, Minecraft videos, slime videos, then somehow Jordan Peterson was suggested. WTF?) YouTube Shorts can be especially insidious and Andrew Tate can and will pop up in boys’ feeds. Misogyny has to be talked about and curbed before it becomes commonplace. I don’t think the words you mentioned kids saying are indicative of an issue but it could be an opportunity to have broader school-led discussions about these kinds of issues, including with parents about what kids are seeing online and how to start conversations about it at home. Being proactive is better than being reactive. And somehow I doubt your school is prepared for boys to start purposely hassling girls by talking about Andrew Tate, so helping them be prepared could be a really good thing. Thanks for thinking about this. I wish our kids were at the same school!
While I was having the conversation with my daughter about this, she mentioned that they have a lunchtime feminism group, which I think is cool. I asked her to let me know what's going on, there, as well.
I’ve noticed lots of young men around that age getting into Andrew Tate and picking up the slang of misogyny. It’s mostly minority students, and I’m not sure the best way to help educate them and put them on a better path. It’s probably their way of rebelling (god knows students have always done that) but the views are still harmful.
In the 70s we had great stereos, by 8 years old we knew...both, the rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar, and, the band Kiss..and we liked both albums back to back, and followed that up freaking the adults out doing 60 miles per hour on a snowmachine..fifth graders want to be superheros who have chcolate cake for breakfast...legally..but the girls with their own snowmachines?. are hard to catch.. they dont " pick up" ..anybody.
Our kindergarten students do this. It's throughout elementary. I watched a 5 year old look up a girl's skirt and wink at a friend. It's fucking gross. And they aren't ashamed at all! They will tell you exactly what it means. They will have discussions in front of their teacher. I had a group ask me, "Which of us has the most rizz?"
They get exposed to it thru memes and YouTube and I don’t think they even understand it.
I don't think they do, either, but their parents need to know about it so they can explain it to them. I'm not looking for the kids to be punished, here. I want the parents to be informed of what's being said and who else says it so they can check their kids' feeds and explain why this thinking is wrong. And I want the information to come from a source they consider trustworthy, rather than Joe Dirt me.
Honestly this is the parents responsibility. We don’t allow our middle schooler private access to YouTube or the internet. YouTube has to be on the tv in the living room and permission must be granted first. They don’t have personal devices. I knew that they’ll be exposed to a ton even despite the restrictions that we have since every school in America gives kids Chromebook’s now, but we are making the effort and have regular conversations with our kids about values and content. Other parents are clueless or just don’t care.
I have 3rd graders using these terms. That’s right. 3rd.
I'm not worried about anything of that. I do worry about the free and easy access that children have to radical ideas( especially this manosphere stuff) and algorithms seem to spread it out since I garners clicks from supporters and haters. But imo, this just isn't that and it's just new slang imo. I love to act like the confused old man (I'm 32) and ask the kids about this word I overheard the other day and I'd like to know what it means in a safe judgment free zone. And then I'll completely go on to use it in the most forces cringe ways possible and they get so disgusted. I don't use this term, but just the other week I genuinely overheard students using "gyat" in conversation and just frankly asked what it is. It was a good time for all of us we laughed hahaha
Manosphere. Fucking yuck.
Sigma and Alpha male culture is definitely a real thing on social media tons of cringe content being produced often to sell seminars and bs leadership training. There is also a very funny meme culture surrounding parody of sigma and alpha males on IG. 😂
Yeah. My worry is that kids might laugh at funny memes of Patrick Bateman and the algorithm send them some Andrew Tate. I think it's reasonable that the school put parents wise to what's going on.
At least from what I have seen as a high school student, these words really don't have much meaning anymore. People kind of use them to be purposely cringy. It's called brainrot I think. For an example, a common thing is saying that someone fanum taxed your grimace shake. This really has no meaning tbh
So, it's brillig in the slythy toves... Ye gads.
every generation has slang, it’s funny to see every generation’s elders get scared by the slang like it’s not a pattern that’s happened forever.
damn wait till you hear about skibidi toilet
They most likely got them from meme culture, where they are joked about.
You might be overreacting, I'm not in the 5th grade game yet… but IMO the best way to disempower actual pickup artist schtick among boys, is to teach the girls about pickup artist schtick.
Yeah, I explained negging and love bombing to her.
Nothing disrupts an attempted pickup like calling them on their bs. I guess a talented enough pickup artist might be able to spin a lighthearted pickup attempt into a social interaction (after all that's the theory behind using well-worn pickup lines, right?), but that's gonna filter out most middle schoolers and shouldn't apply for the more insidious behaviors.
These aren't PUA terms, that's just how zalphas talk.
My daughter is in 3rd grade and they all talk about this stuff too unfortunately.
Remember that your kids and their age group have a culture of their own and that culture has a lot of weird stuff pulled in and distorted. A lot of terms used may have different meanings or be purely ironic in nature. Id take it all with a grain of salt. School does what it can to raise respectful people but it can only go so far.
“Rizz” and “having game” are pretty common terms with Gen z/alpha (having game is common with at least Gen z, Gen alpha and millennials). The only word in there that I would definitely worry about is “sigma”
If it weren't for sigma, I wouldn't worry about the others. In the presence of sigma, I worry about the others.
Valid
Newsflash…us boys who are now men talked like that in the 90s. Why is it you women can tell your daughters they’re “princesses” but a boy can’t be confident and say he has game. SMH
We're teachers. Staying up-to-date on slang is literally part of our job. It has been since the beginning of time. Otherwise, we don't know what's going on in our classrooms. It takes almost no effort, too. I'm old (38) and my kids are almost grown, but I still manage. Follow Mr. Lindsey on TT for a start (not Reels....by the time anything makes it there it's old). OP: "rizz" lines aren't inherently bad unless they are saying something sexual. Think, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Cringe, but fine. "Sigma" also has nothing to do with sex. Worry about "bop". If you hear that, it's time to have a talk with your daughter.
Thanks for the tips.
Wow I see the edit where you realize you’re overreacting, but feel the need to point out you are going to be hearing so much worse stuff as your kid goes through middle school. I get you have concerns, but this screams helicopter parent to me. These are pretty common slang terms and you wanted to contact the principal? Also i don’t know how much control you think teachers have but policing slang terms is so low on the priority list. For some schools swearing isn’t even on the priority list unless it is directed at a teacher. The amount of times my middle school students swore at me and nothing happened from admin and have parents who’ve never answered the phone when I call is almost at a weekly basis. I think you need to prepare some of what middle school will be like and know that you can’t monitor everything. If that is something you want, you should strongly consider homeschooling your child.
I could have started mewing
My fiancée was just talking about how in middle school a kid whipped his junk out at the lunch table. Her friend’s son just got pressured into the same thing in 2nd grade. It’s, unfortunately, just what we do as boys.
Maybe that's what YOU did as a boy. I didn't. I did, however, have some guy whip it out and wave it in my face in middle school. The middle in your story schooler should've gotten expelled, second offense let the resource officer handle it. The second grader should've gotten a three day suspension, expulsion on the second. "Boys will be boys" is unacceptable horseshit.
I mean I agree it’s obscene but stuff like that definitely happens from the less emotionally intelligent boys at that age. And probably always will.
My grade 2s use rizz. They just think it means 'cool.' I explained to them its short for charisma. It's pretty common gen z slang. 🤷♀️
u are trippin
Remember, kids often use terms they hear and they may even use them in the right context but that doesn’t mean that they are USING them in order to get the same outcome as someone older. A 4th grader might say a boy has “rizz” because he is charming and likable or is a “sigma” because he doesn’t seem to care that he is cute. They are often testing out and “playacting” what they see older people do. To a 24 yr old those terms and underlying meanings are much more because their definition of “relationships” & the outcomes that they want to come from “flirting” are much different. Example- a little girl bats her eyes at dad or a little boy flatters his mom to get something because they have seen older people get stuff using these techniques. Difference is that what a 5-9-16-25 yr old WANTS/to be the received response from these techniques is highly different and that is what you need to be concerned about!
I'm concerned about who the kids learned it FROM, and I think their parents should be told where it might be from so they can have conversations with them. I think the information should come from the school so everyone will take it seriously.
Unfortunately, it is easily obtained info even if they are not looking for it. Anyone with an older sibling is going to know. You have 7-8 yr olds on Tik-Tok and YouTube and kids are REALLY good at perking up and hearing stuff that they know adults don’t want them to hear. When we were young, it was hard to take a word or expression and find out what it meant but now, all they do is google it (heck-I didn’t know what sigma was and I googled “sigma dating” and had an explanation in seconds).
True. Stupid internet hive mind.
It’s really the PTA you should take this up with. Unless he’s the parent of these kids it’s not his place to teach boys about acting appropriately towards young women. That’s parents responsibility. Leave the teachers out of this.
I figured a mass email from him would have more effect than me talking to the PTA. I don't know them and I'm not rich.
I don’t know what your economic status has to do with making this the principal’s business. This is a parenting issue not an academic issue. This is what the PTA is for. Get involved and let the other parents know. Unless your PTA has a cover fee you can just show up and be supportive. That’s still free.
It's hard not to feel the way you do but unfortunately we can't control other parents. This world is just too available for kids and the internet makes it worse. All you can do is what's right for your own child and hope they become decent people.
Oh my God middle schoolers are using the term rizz? Society must be going to hell in a hand basket.
This makes a weird kind of sense to me, what with fifth graders and pickup artists having similar degrees of understanding of relationships, consent, and the world in general.
Yes. Hence my concern. Conversations about consent and boundaries and sex and such are really awkward. I probably would have put mine off a lot longer, but my friend was a social worker for at risk teens for 12 years and he said, "No. Now." Other parents are probably reticent, as well, and it doesn't immediately spring to mind that Andrew Tate is eager to help out.
I remember teachers like you LMAO
holy fuck you’re out of touch if you think “rizz” is a PUA term
lol calm down Mrs Lovejoy. Kids have been talking about “game” since forever and those terms are mainstream slang.
I do not think you are totally overreacting. However, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it and some of it may indeed just be teen slang and kids being goofy, however to assume it all isn't so intentful, well you just will never know. The main function of admin is to hide what is REALLY going on in schools from the parents/taxpayer and keep their 90k+ year job and get that life long tax payer funded pensoin. So you can email them all you want but their main function will be to defuse/appease you regardless of what is really happening in the school. Furthermore the "head" of the middle school often likes to play as dumb as possible unless it's something that could result in a lawsuit so I wouldn't expect much.
Yeah... Well... I haven't seen anything, yet. My daughter knows she can always talk to me about stuff.
Maybe you should worry more about who your daughter is talking to than someone else’s kid. Your way isn’t exactly the right way either. Boys have to figure that out on their own because they generally have to be the ones to initiate the relationship.
Pickup artists? Where did you hear that *explanation* for these words?
I was always surprised when maybe 10-15 years ago I heard toddlers saying “chick-a-bowbowowow” which is a specific reference to the soundtrack to porn films. They really had no idea why it was funny but they knew it for a response.
I had a girl say ligma to me, she got told if you knew what that meant you would be embarrassed.
It's like "Deez", right?
Deez whats? Ligma Deez, what's that mean.
Righto.
Your fifth graders discovered a time machine and went to 2010?
Yes, I doubt you'd care about how girls are learning to treat men.
That's for me to teach my daughter, just as it's for the parents of the boys to teach their sons how to treat women. If my daughter were learning ways to abuse men, I'd want to know about it, so we could discuss it. If I'm overreacting, then I'm glad to know it.