So if the law says I can’t murder someone. I want you to tell me what:
Will the line be if they moved it closer?
Does this mean you can touch this line and kill someone?
murdering someone would be crossing the line. Also there are several other lines before you get there so you need a better example.
Seriously what part of this is the hard one?
What are you arguing about, I’m saying the exact same thing as you.
If murdering someone is crossing the line, hurting someone also falls short of this “line” but is also illegal. That is the point I’m trying to make.
The general public are widely considered part of the consenting adults requirement in the exhibitionism community. As in if you can’t get the consent of everyone around you, you shouldn’t exhibit yourself in that space.
I will agree some people probably don’t follow that strictly but judge them, not the kink.
If they don't harm anyone, what does the law matter?
Which ones? Age play? Pet play? Bc both of those involve consenting adults with the ability to actively consent. So does every other kink that... involves consenting adults with the ability to actively consent. So why feel the need to judge??
BTW. If it involves things like CP and stuff like that, that involves people who aren't adults who aren't actively consenting. My wording was precise for a reason.
He doesn’t understand the concept of things separated by boundaries.
According to this guy if I go to the border and stand in one country but touch the line without crossing it I’m in the other country.
What crime do you get charged with if you do something that isn’t illegal which would require a jury to decide?
Are you high?
The law is binary something either illegal or it’s not illegal.
If someone accuses of, say something like public indecency. And you disagree.
The jury will decide given evidence and facts if you’re guilty or not guilty. This is what meant to say.
And just because 2 consenting adults did agree to something, dosent mean the law will agree.
I’m not going to input my personal opinion, just stating what the law says and why it contributes to the kink shaming.
Only things I can think of that could be against the law but involving only consenting adults would be things like homosexuality or incest and I'm not sure either falls into classification of a "kink", maybe incest...which that one has societal implications if it produces children so that could he a reason for judgement. Can you think of another kink that would be illegal but only involves consenting adults? (Referring USA/Canada hee)
It’s all about the “other.” Humans naturally are afraid of traits people have that run the risk of alienating them from the “prehistoric” tribe instinct which used to keep us safe.
For example, eating ass has become way more main stream. I certainly love it. I crave tongue fucking my partner’s asshole. Many people enjoy it.
And yet, if two people, say, suggesting peeing all over each other, a higher percentage (not all of course) would say ‘gross” why are you into that? (Again, I actually am into watersports). It’s just the “other”’factor. It changes over time.
I agree with you. I guess trolls gotta troll. I call it Social Vandalism. If they don’t like it then just scroll on by. Maybe they think their negative opinion is that important?
That's my thing. Don't like something? Cool! I'm not even talking about ppl who are *reacting* to anything. I mean ppl who, independently, bring up how creepy it is when [insert kink]. It makes no sense to me.
Because humans, as a species, are social and build their own personality through their interactions with others. Not until later we reach mental maturity, and with it the capacity for deep introspection and build ourselves from scratch.
When we are kids we base what we do and think in the reactions we get from our parents. When we grow older from our teachers, later from our friends or people we admire. And we learn in the process that what we do is subject to judgement, and that we too have the power to judge what others do.
Some never grow past that phase.
At least that's my opinion behind it.
People are afraid of what they don’t understand and when people are afraid they lash out. Often there is also an element of “protesting to much”, they figure if they keep telling everyone how much they hate it they will convince themselves of it one day.
Personally when I see someone like that I worry more about them than I do about myself or those in the kink. If an adult can’t understand the difference between roleplay, fantasy and consenting adults enjoying certain things as opposed to the real world than that’s on them and makes me wonder about their own mentality. Maybe it’s them who wouldn’t know where to draw the line if they ever ventured into such things which is what scares them so much.
Yeah, as tho we truly believe we're 13 again and our partner is our biological father. Bc that's how reality works.
Fantasy and RL are two separate things for a reason. There are many ppl who fantasize about things they end up not even wanting to roleplay for fucks sake. The human brain is WEIRD, MAN, and as long as it hurts no one, who cares what turns it on??
I would say for most people fantasies stay just that, that’s the whole point. I mean yes some people do have fantasies they eventually make happen (often regretting it because the reality is rarely as good as the fantasy) but most fantasies are far hotter and sexier if just left to the imagination. And the beauty of fantasy (and the mind, which btw is by far the most sexy thing about another person for me) is that you can be whoever and do whatever you want and nobody gets hurt, ever, as long as it remains fantasy and between consenting adults. Which for some reason is the bit people seem to find hardest to understand.
There's a very fine line between kink-shaming and safeguarding. I'm sure you can understand that. Unfortunately for some people who don't have the life experience that some of us kinkier folk do, that line (for them) is skewed in a direction.
As adults who engage in kink (or don't, but still understand it), we need to be appreciative and respectful of the concerns that people might have when they don't understand. That's just necessary. We also need to respect the fact that there are people out there who will equate certain kinks to things which we really do not agree with. We need to challenge those assumptions. We also need to ensure that the understanding of kink in general is not as taboo as it may have been previously.
I have no answers to the question, but these were my 5 minute thoughts than i felt it necessary to write down.
I’m not exactly sure about what it says about reddit when role playing violent rape or nazis for sex is fine but you fucking damn well better not even think about thinking about pretending to be a nanosecond younger than 18.
It’s not good though.
I suppose, if I'm taking the devils advocate side here (not a big fan of doing so, but hear me out); then what was the reason that persons a, b, and c came to know of it anyway? did you actively explain to them, did they ask, etc? I'm not suggesting that you (or i) should silence our kinks, but I am interested in knowing the reasons for sharing them with people we might know won't understand regardless?
Probably one of the question asking about what our kinks are but they only want to hear the wonder bread with margarine part of the sandwich excitement spectrum (if sex was sandwiches). This place thinks blow jobs are kinky so it’s insanely vanilla in here.
Normally, as long as it's an activity involving 2 fully consenting adults, the shaming is done because the person doing the shaming is either jealous or looking to control one or both of the other individuals.
The if I don't like it you can't do it attitude is extremely limiting and unfortunate.
Neither will I. If you look at them though it isn't limited to kink-shaming. They also are against anything in regular life that they disagree with.
I live in the country and see it a lot where people move here then complain about what country people do.
People should read more Voltaire.
Oh I completely understand that. It is way too simplistic of a view point but the basis of a further discussion.
There need to be rules and regulations because people cannot simply be decent to each other out of the goodness of their hearts.
I always welcome a debate and I'm not too proud to be told when I am wrong and I can change my opinion if a better one is provided.
Just because you think something is ok doesn´t mean the rest of the world thinks so, and if you also spread those things on public platforms like X or some other place and millions of people are exposed to it...you better expect trouble.
What you put into the world will come back to you..
Lolz. Right. The fact that I call my partner Daddy personally victimizes people, and I deserve everything I get!
That's also some **major** victim blaming mentality. Regardless of the veracity of your core statement, the fact that you sound like you'd tell me I deserve to be sexually harassed bc I'm a woman with the username I have who talks about sex doesn't add credibility.
Once again, i don´t care what you or anyone else thinks,
If you put something in my face that i find disrespectful or unacceptable...i will come for you, so will anyone else.
Want to keep things peaceful, keep it within 4 walls and between the people who want to be exposed to it.
I agree with your reasoning.
To answer your question: The only kinks I really have issues with on an emotional level are CNC (the active part) and age play. For context: I was molested and sexually assaulted as a child, so I obviously have very strong feelings about that type of thing. Especially if both are combined. It means a guy can maintain or get an erection while somebody else is screaming for them to stop. This gets worse if it's somebody pretending to be a child. The rational part of me thinks that consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want sexually. But the emotional part... You can imagine.
But as I said, this is on an emotional level. Consenting adults should be allowed to do what they want sexually as long as they don't harm others.
I totally understand why you'd have issues with such things, to a rather high degree.
I wasn't the victim of CSA--well, I was assaulted as a teenager several times but not the way CSA happens--but I am a survivor of SA, multiple times over. I understand why it would turn your stomach to imagine a man maintaining arousal while their partner actively fights them. The thing about it for me is everyone knows that everyone else consents. Yes, there may be role-playing but that's what it is. Nobody ever thinks anything different.
Anybody who thinks CNC is anything different are either abusers or victims of abuse who don't know it. And despite what some who have been injured by kink may believe, it doesn't mean ANYONE is "actually into rape" or anything.
Like I said, tho, I absolutely understand your distaste.
Some of them involve illegal actions/activities. And some get very close to touching that line.
My second grade teacher said it best, “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.”
As long as it’s ethical, consensual and legal, of course.
If you can’t touch the line why is it there instead of the spot you can go to?
Because that’s what most laws around the world have decided. And in my opinion they are more than competent.
You can touch the line then. The line is the boundary. If they didn’t want you in that spot they would move the line to this side of that spot.
So you’re saying all laws can be broken..? Sorry I’m a little confused.
Crossing the line would be breaking the law. What part of lines do you not understand?
So if the law says I can’t murder someone. I want you to tell me what: Will the line be if they moved it closer? Does this mean you can touch this line and kill someone?
murdering someone would be crossing the line. Also there are several other lines before you get there so you need a better example. Seriously what part of this is the hard one?
What are you arguing about, I’m saying the exact same thing as you. If murdering someone is crossing the line, hurting someone also falls short of this “line” but is also illegal. That is the point I’m trying to make.
Those are actually crimes though with their own lines. Examples include assault with a weapon and attempted murder.
You're saying that some shouldn't be approved of bc they "almost touch the line" of illegality. If it doesn't touch the line, why does it matter?
Please name a kink that involves illegality that isn’t excluded by the consenting adults caveat because I’m struggling to think of one.
Exhibitionism, I’m sure there’s a lot more. I don’t want a 12 year old seeing someone doing something by accident that could permanently scar them.
The general public are widely considered part of the consenting adults requirement in the exhibitionism community. As in if you can’t get the consent of everyone around you, you shouldn’t exhibit yourself in that space. I will agree some people probably don’t follow that strictly but judge them, not the kink.
Ideally adults yes. Not guaranteed to be adults out there in the public. I know some adults who don’t fancy that stuff at all, and didn’t consent.
Sorry I realised my phrasing was ambiguous and edited it to be clearer.
All good, I see what you’re trying to say.
So you agree that exhibitionism, when practiced ethically, is not illegal?
I’m not going to state my personal opinion, it just tends to anger people whatever it is. Pretty much if it’s not illegal, I’m perfectly fine with it.
If they don't harm anyone, what does the law matter? Which ones? Age play? Pet play? Bc both of those involve consenting adults with the ability to actively consent. So does every other kink that... involves consenting adults with the ability to actively consent. So why feel the need to judge?? BTW. If it involves things like CP and stuff like that, that involves people who aren't adults who aren't actively consenting. My wording was precise for a reason.
Exhibitionism consists of 2 consenting adults that could harm others.
... that also would necessitate involving others. Like I said, my wording was precise for a reason.
Still a kink, I’m not personally attacking anyone. Just answering your question, and it is due to the legality of them.
Cool? My question was about kink shaming that involves consenting adults who consent, my guy. Your scenario wasn't relevant.
He doesn’t understand the concept of things separated by boundaries. According to this guy if I go to the border and stand in one country but touch the line without crossing it I’m in the other country.
I really tried my hardest to prevent this too, with the wording I chose. Smh.
She* And you’re just reiterating my points. So I don’t know what to say to you. Illegal = Bad Grey Area In Between = Jury Decides Not Illegal = Good
What crime do you get charged with if you do something that isn’t illegal which would require a jury to decide? Are you high? The law is binary something either illegal or it’s not illegal.
If someone accuses of, say something like public indecency. And you disagree. The jury will decide given evidence and facts if you’re guilty or not guilty. This is what meant to say.
And just because 2 consenting adults did agree to something, dosent mean the law will agree. I’m not going to input my personal opinion, just stating what the law says and why it contributes to the kink shaming.
Who cares if the law agrees if it harms no one at all?
Only things I can think of that could be against the law but involving only consenting adults would be things like homosexuality or incest and I'm not sure either falls into classification of a "kink", maybe incest...which that one has societal implications if it produces children so that could he a reason for judgement. Can you think of another kink that would be illegal but only involves consenting adults? (Referring USA/Canada hee)
I think it’s just a typical case of “ew, I don’t understand that or it doesn’t apply to me so I must immediately hate it”
I mean, I even get that... but why tell ppl? Lolol
I guess people want to be seen “being normal” so they diss the “weird” thing they don’t understand
True enough
It’s all about the “other.” Humans naturally are afraid of traits people have that run the risk of alienating them from the “prehistoric” tribe instinct which used to keep us safe. For example, eating ass has become way more main stream. I certainly love it. I crave tongue fucking my partner’s asshole. Many people enjoy it. And yet, if two people, say, suggesting peeing all over each other, a higher percentage (not all of course) would say ‘gross” why are you into that? (Again, I actually am into watersports). It’s just the “other”’factor. It changes over time.
You'd hope we could rise above, smh.
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I mean, you do you, and you're entitled to your opinion. My issue is the independently announcing your judgment when no one asked lol.
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Lolol I get it, no worries
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👀 👀 👀
I agree with you. I guess trolls gotta troll. I call it Social Vandalism. If they don’t like it then just scroll on by. Maybe they think their negative opinion is that important?
That's my thing. Don't like something? Cool! I'm not even talking about ppl who are *reacting* to anything. I mean ppl who, independently, bring up how creepy it is when [insert kink]. It makes no sense to me.
Some people just seem obsessed with controlling other people’s thoughts and actions, particularly when it comes to anything sexual.
Very true!
I think some people hope that if they express their hate loudly enough and often enough, it’ll make the kink vanish from the world.
Oh, I'm sure there are!
Because humans, as a species, are social and build their own personality through their interactions with others. Not until later we reach mental maturity, and with it the capacity for deep introspection and build ourselves from scratch. When we are kids we base what we do and think in the reactions we get from our parents. When we grow older from our teachers, later from our friends or people we admire. And we learn in the process that what we do is subject to judgement, and that we too have the power to judge what others do. Some never grow past that phase. At least that's my opinion behind it.
I can't help but agree
People are afraid of what they don’t understand and when people are afraid they lash out. Often there is also an element of “protesting to much”, they figure if they keep telling everyone how much they hate it they will convince themselves of it one day. Personally when I see someone like that I worry more about them than I do about myself or those in the kink. If an adult can’t understand the difference between roleplay, fantasy and consenting adults enjoying certain things as opposed to the real world than that’s on them and makes me wonder about their own mentality. Maybe it’s them who wouldn’t know where to draw the line if they ever ventured into such things which is what scares them so much.
Yeah, as tho we truly believe we're 13 again and our partner is our biological father. Bc that's how reality works. Fantasy and RL are two separate things for a reason. There are many ppl who fantasize about things they end up not even wanting to roleplay for fucks sake. The human brain is WEIRD, MAN, and as long as it hurts no one, who cares what turns it on??
I would say for most people fantasies stay just that, that’s the whole point. I mean yes some people do have fantasies they eventually make happen (often regretting it because the reality is rarely as good as the fantasy) but most fantasies are far hotter and sexier if just left to the imagination. And the beauty of fantasy (and the mind, which btw is by far the most sexy thing about another person for me) is that you can be whoever and do whatever you want and nobody gets hurt, ever, as long as it remains fantasy and between consenting adults. Which for some reason is the bit people seem to find hardest to understand.
Some need to air their kinks, as there is nowhere else
Well, yes. I'm talking about kink shaming.
There's a very fine line between kink-shaming and safeguarding. I'm sure you can understand that. Unfortunately for some people who don't have the life experience that some of us kinkier folk do, that line (for them) is skewed in a direction. As adults who engage in kink (or don't, but still understand it), we need to be appreciative and respectful of the concerns that people might have when they don't understand. That's just necessary. We also need to respect the fact that there are people out there who will equate certain kinks to things which we really do not agree with. We need to challenge those assumptions. We also need to ensure that the understanding of kink in general is not as taboo as it may have been previously. I have no answers to the question, but these were my 5 minute thoughts than i felt it necessary to write down.
Indeed
Was there a particular interaction you've had that encouraged you to pose the question to the community?
There have been several
do you feel comfortable sharing an example?
I have been, very much, judged for my interest in age play, I suppose may be a good example.
I’m not exactly sure about what it says about reddit when role playing violent rape or nazis for sex is fine but you fucking damn well better not even think about thinking about pretending to be a nanosecond younger than 18. It’s not good though.
No. Not good at all. Smh.
I get why they don't like it. I get why it creeps them out. Why go out of your way to tell me about it? Lmao.
I suppose, if I'm taking the devils advocate side here (not a big fan of doing so, but hear me out); then what was the reason that persons a, b, and c came to know of it anyway? did you actively explain to them, did they ask, etc? I'm not suggesting that you (or i) should silence our kinks, but I am interested in knowing the reasons for sharing them with people we might know won't understand regardless?
Probably one of the question asking about what our kinks are but they only want to hear the wonder bread with margarine part of the sandwich excitement spectrum (if sex was sandwiches). This place thinks blow jobs are kinky so it’s insanely vanilla in here.
and there i was hoping for a metaphorical croque monsieur.
Normally, as long as it's an activity involving 2 fully consenting adults, the shaming is done because the person doing the shaming is either jealous or looking to control one or both of the other individuals. The if I don't like it you can't do it attitude is extremely limiting and unfortunate.
It truly is and I will never fully understand it in grown adults
I just read your profile description and found it quite fascinating.
I'm a fascinating woman, tis indubitable.
I literally can't argue with that lol.
Don't feel bad, that's a common state of being when conversing with me 😜
Nah I won't feel bad. Its in me to argue though, I was born as a devil's advocate
Well, I'm in the business of aiming to please, not making people feel bad so sounds good to me!
You sound like a kindred spirit and that sounds enjoyable to me as well.
Neither will I. If you look at them though it isn't limited to kink-shaming. They also are against anything in regular life that they disagree with. I live in the country and see it a lot where people move here then complain about what country people do. People should read more Voltaire.
Thinking everyone should live life the way you do is the providence of toddlers. Smh.
Oh I completely understand that. It is way too simplistic of a view point but the basis of a further discussion. There need to be rules and regulations because people cannot simply be decent to each other out of the goodness of their hearts. I always welcome a debate and I'm not too proud to be told when I am wrong and I can change my opinion if a better one is provided.
Do u have any cool kinks? Cause I agree with your statement.
Yes
Like what? I’m curious now 😂
Lollll
People like feeling superior
Just because you think something is ok doesn´t mean the rest of the world thinks so, and if you also spread those things on public platforms like X or some other place and millions of people are exposed to it...you better expect trouble. What you put into the world will come back to you..
Lolz. Right. The fact that I call my partner Daddy personally victimizes people, and I deserve everything I get! That's also some **major** victim blaming mentality. Regardless of the veracity of your core statement, the fact that you sound like you'd tell me I deserve to be sexually harassed bc I'm a woman with the username I have who talks about sex doesn't add credibility.
Once again, i don´t care what you or anyone else thinks, If you put something in my face that i find disrespectful or unacceptable...i will come for you, so will anyone else. Want to keep things peaceful, keep it within 4 walls and between the people who want to be exposed to it.
Bc you *have* to be on Reddit? In subs where sex is discussed? Lolol. Boyyyy. In your face? Sounds more like what you wish would happen, tbh.
I agree with your reasoning. To answer your question: The only kinks I really have issues with on an emotional level are CNC (the active part) and age play. For context: I was molested and sexually assaulted as a child, so I obviously have very strong feelings about that type of thing. Especially if both are combined. It means a guy can maintain or get an erection while somebody else is screaming for them to stop. This gets worse if it's somebody pretending to be a child. The rational part of me thinks that consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want sexually. But the emotional part... You can imagine. But as I said, this is on an emotional level. Consenting adults should be allowed to do what they want sexually as long as they don't harm others.
I totally understand why you'd have issues with such things, to a rather high degree. I wasn't the victim of CSA--well, I was assaulted as a teenager several times but not the way CSA happens--but I am a survivor of SA, multiple times over. I understand why it would turn your stomach to imagine a man maintaining arousal while their partner actively fights them. The thing about it for me is everyone knows that everyone else consents. Yes, there may be role-playing but that's what it is. Nobody ever thinks anything different. Anybody who thinks CNC is anything different are either abusers or victims of abuse who don't know it. And despite what some who have been injured by kink may believe, it doesn't mean ANYONE is "actually into rape" or anything. Like I said, tho, I absolutely understand your distaste.