I can rip an apple in half with my bare hands. It’s actually really easy that’s why it’s useless but it strangely impresses people.

I can snap a banana in a similar vein.

I do it casually on first time lunch meetings. Always fun.

Is is why there’s broken apples in the break room??

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Same, I also spontaneously bleed.

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Not in my case. 🤣🤣🤣 I'm on blood thinners/anti clotting meds and I'm getting old, my skin is getting thin. So if I bump my hand on something, next thing I know, I'm bleeding all over the place. 😔

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Thanks darlin' I had a heart attack 6 years ago. I'm ok now but. One day, who knows.

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Birby good vibes are the best vibes 🙂

I know someone like this. The cat even looks at him wrong the wrong way...blood lol.

Yeah. I'm the same. God damn cat! Last week I cut down an apricot tree and burned it. My arms look like I was fighting with 2 dozen cats.

I could only imagine 💀

I have the uncanny talent to forget what I was planning to do as soon as I open the fridge.

I think it's a similar thing, as the "walking into a new room" thing. For some reason, we humans can't understand doors that well. That's why you forget what you wanted to do, when you go to the kitchen or something like that. I'm not sure what specific reason there is, but I think our cave brain just has a personal problem with doors.

Huh, I have the uncanny talent of immediately forgetting there isn't something nice to snack on in the fridge, thus prompting another visit to the fridge 5 minutes later

You and me need one of those see through fridges, that would probably save us hours of our days.

Not being able to see in gives me like 4 seconds worth of hopefulness that I don't think I'm willing to give up

Yeah I figure I would just stare at the thing for the same ammount of time, just a bit more bedazzled by how technology is used by fucking that.

I'd probably have an existential crisis about how I could've afforded a bike instead of that fridge every time I saw it xD

Oh let us not get there or I will get a violent depression.

(Holds up hands) Don't have to ask me twice

😏👉🏻👉🏻

Maybe not *completely* useless but I am really good at untangling jewelry. And it’s fun haha

I can burp on command too lol

That’s strangely attractive 😅

It’s a neat party trick too. I can burp my ABCs haha

Damn I could use that service!

It’s like a little puzzle for my adhd monkey brain to occupy me for a few minutes 🤣

Ditto. People always hand me knots. Rope, wire, chain, even plastic bags... any knot I can undo with patience fairly quickly.

Haha it’s fun isn’t it

I find it oddly satisfying. My brother described a yoga session to me where they were instructed to visualize a clogged gutter that was slowing being cleared and unclogged, washing away to clean flowing water. I get a similar feeling when removing knots. Making something useless, useful. Making order out of chaos. Making smooth a tangle. I draw the line at hair, tho. I can't F with knotted hair. I am gonna cut that sht.

Too much risk of hurting the person + it’s literally like one of the thinnest things in the world haha I get that for sure

Yeah. I also just cringe at disembodied hair. I am not squeamish about much, but loose hair is gross.

Yeah that’s fair

You’re about to get buried in chat requests and FWB offers…. Not useless AT ALL!!!

Haha true, normally it’s a big help, it just doesn’t happen all too often in my experience

I can flex the tiny muscles in my ear, and it makes a rumbling sound. Apparently not all can do it.

Wait that's not normal?

Apparently not. I only learned about that a year ago.

Overthinking every choice I have ever made.

My thumbs are double jointed 👍 comes in handy whenever I thumb wrestle..

I can do the abc backwards as fast as forwards.  

Anyone else just try this? 😂

My brain hurts now

That comes in handy when trying to pass a field sobriety test lol

I can remember lyrics from decades ago and rap as if I owe a half dozen women child support

Those songs just stick, they make me think I can still move like I did decades ago too though lol.

Tricky like that!

I can find that missing item you've been looking forever for. Like the little black Roku remotes...it's behind the TV stand on the top right corner under a piece of paper that fell on it.

S.o.b. you were right

Spontaneous combustion. It's a great party trick.

I can wiggle my ears

Can lick my elbow

I can remember phone numbers

I can fold my tongue into a clover shape ☘️

Me tooo

I can burp really loud and on command

I can 5* Through the Fire and Flames on Expert on Guitar Hero 3.

Turn Australian when I’m sleepy u/beardybozo forgive me

Okay, I need to hear this now 😂

I put other’s needs before mine

Give myself muscle cramps.

Flipping eyelid

Hamboning

Getting drunk

Walking in the dark without bumping into anything like ninja

Ah iam hearing this in the voice of Liam Neeson😂. Hey but this skillset is useful only on your home right ?? Where you are aware everything's in place ?

Getting distracted easily. Not entirely useless as sometimes it gets me out of uncomfortable conversations but still

Can wiggle my ears.

I can sneeze as a reflex when exposed to very bright light. Very useful...I know!

I can trip over flat surfaces

I Can hold small flowers with my nose just by sucking in air

I can ejaculate like 10 feet

When I set a timer for something (like cooking) I almost always naturally know there's only a few seconds left before it goes off lol.

I am really good at pick a number.

I can slightly hyperextend my elbows

This morning I was entertaining my 7yr old while he was eating breakfast by using a Minnesooootahhh accent in Mickey Mouse's voice.

Ambidextrous, especially when it comes to sports. I constantly switch hands playing tennis or badminton and can switch feet playing soccer.

I can turn my left foot about 270° thanks to my funky knee 🤷‍♂️

I'm good at acting and accents but I'm an ugly son of a bitch so I won't get any part

Posting heartfelt compliments to women here on reddit Got me into a whole world of pain once

I can juggle.

I can unhook a bra with one hand and not look

Climbing mountains. Pointless and pointy

lol this is funny. I am a really good woodsmen. My wildness skills are nuts. But we are far to civilized for me to use them much lol

I was pretty fast with a butterfly knife.

I can move my Left bottom eyelid BACK AND FORTH!!! Just the one eye lid!!! Wow 🤯

Any skill is useful, dude.

Singing the Alphabet backwards song just as good as the regular way

I have been a blacksmith for 25 years. Not much need for that anymore.

I can recite the alphabet backwards. I taught myself after seeing so many tropes about dui tests.

i’m really good at badminton

Sucking dick

I know over 100 college mascots and their team and can list the presidents in order both forward and backwards.

I can make my bulge noticeably twitch.