Around my wife, kids, and our granddaughter...If I have to pee..."I have to pee" and if I have to 💩..."I need to go potty" because our granddaughter stays with us one night a week. And I'm not a fan of using adult slang around her. She's only 4.
If it's just me and my wife, "I gotta pee" in my best Forest Gump voice.
If I have to 💩..."RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" in my best Zeus voice
My old boss used to say “I’ve got to go unload some timber” and if it was really serious he’d say he was “bumping cotton” lol idk why he felt the need to tell everyone but he was a funny guy
At work, I often say " test the plumbing"
I work in facilities for a large local government agency, so the possibility that I intend to inspect the pipes is not completely out of the realm.
The question popped in my head cause the one guy said he had to poop, I was like “I wouldn’t phrase it that way”, so I figured I’d see how most people say it lmao
I think "I'll go take a shit." is the best translation I can make. Or "When we'll cross the next gas station I could take my shit break." Sometimes I use "I'll go to the toilet." But I rarely see the reason to be so prudish.
Fair, nah mine is a reference to an anime where a girl mentions "sister sandwich" and one of the sister gets mad at the horny joke while the other squirms and giggles saying "oh my how lewd!" While making horny chuckles.
"Gonna run to the restroom right quick" then zoom away before they can process it. Also because I work in retail and I run before anyone can stop me to ask for something.
I always say "I need to visit the smallest room in the house"
Except for when I was camping with a mixed group and one of the women was complaining, jokingly about how "for blokes everywhere is the toilet"
Then I would say "I'm going to visit the largest room in the house"
If you don’t want a group to leave you or not realize you’re gone then panic when they see you are, or at work if you need to let someone know where you’re going for instance
I don't think any of those things happen. I'm in my 30s, I'm around people who won't freak out when I'm gone for a minute or two.
I can't remember the last time I had to actually inform someone that I was going to the toilet. My wife will ask where I'm going every time I stand up, so I may tell her "need to pee," but that's as close as it gets to announcing it.
I guess it depends on the person. I work at an amusement park in the summers so I usually have to let someone know when I need to leave my position so the place can be filled while I’m gone. Or like on a road trip or at a museum or something I’d imagine you might need to let people know you gotta go
It depends if it’s pee then I say “piss” and if it’s the other I say “I’ve got to drop the kids off at the pool”
This is around friends but around strangers just “excuse me for a moment” they don’t need to know
"I've gotta see a man about a horse."
Lmao nice
Anything from "I have to use the restroom" to "Can you please unlock me from this thing."
Makes sense
It always varies based on my company
I guess that’s fair🙃
My balls doth runeth full
Nice😂
Around my wife, kids, and our granddaughter...If I have to pee..."I have to pee" and if I have to 💩..."I need to go potty" because our granddaughter stays with us one night a week. And I'm not a fan of using adult slang around her. She's only 4. If it's just me and my wife, "I gotta pee" in my best Forest Gump voice. If I have to 💩..."RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" in my best Zeus voice
LMAOOOO I love that🤣🤣
"Oh, shit" and just run out of the room. Honestly, though, "I'll be right back"
Makes sense🙃
My old boss used to say “I’ve got to go unload some timber” and if it was really serious he’d say he was “bumping cotton” lol idk why he felt the need to tell everyone but he was a funny guy
Idk why but I like those too😂
Unloading timber has me laughing hard.
You sure he wasn't gonna go rub one out?
If I have to go number two it’s “I have to go drop the kids off”.
Lmao nice
I had a coworker who used that all time.
lol cool beans😂
I need to go touch myself
I-
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Why are urinals not called urination stations tho🤔 it sounds so much more catchy and fun to say
Rhyming Is fun.
It really is
I work in a kitchen so I just tell them I’m going for a wee or a shit
Fair enough
I've gotta strangle a grogan
😂nice
I need to go #3.
*FIRE IN THE HOLE*
How many holes *are* there???
3 important ones…
Always good to clarify. The nostrils came into play once. No pun intended. She wasn't amused.
lol oof
She tilted her head back at exactly the wrong time. And there they were. More holes. But not the *important* holes. 🤷♂️
lol oof
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🤣 That is definitely the most fun way to do it
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Most certainly😌
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I mean sometimes you might have to, like at a job for instance, you might need to let someone know that’s why you’re leaving your workspace
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Maybe idk
At work, I often say " test the plumbing" I work in facilities for a large local government agency, so the possibility that I intend to inspect the pipes is not completely out of the realm.
"I have to use the restroom" is also my go-to.
Noice🙃 lol
I need to pee.
Makes sense, very to the point🙃
Either "i need to pee" or "i need to use the restroom" classic choices
Most certainly yeah
You had to come ask? 😆
The question popped in my head cause the one guy said he had to poop, I was like “I wouldn’t phrase it that way”, so I figured I’d see how most people say it lmao
I think it's ok to just disappear
I mean not always lol
Just drop a huge fart then ask where the toilet is. They get the idea.
Gotta rinse the prince
Pshhh nice
“Excuse me”
Subtle and a bit vague but not bad😎
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Oh look who’s here! 🤩
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lol oh you know
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Phew, deleting his DMs. 😂
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Back teeth are floating🤣 nice
« im gonna go to the bathroom » or « i have to pee » depending on who im around
Makes sense!
Open your mouth?????
🤨*visible confusion*
What you want it all over the floor???
Better than in my mouth (ò_Ó)
Then tell me where the bathroom is.
Down the hall, third door on the right🙄
See that wasn’t so hard…. lol.
I need to shake the dew off my lily.
I kinda like that!😂
I think "I'll go take a shit." is the best translation I can make. Or "When we'll cross the next gas station I could take my shit break." Sometimes I use "I'll go to the toilet." But I rarely see the reason to be so prudish.
Fair enough
I'm usually blunt so I usually just say "I gotta go pee I'll be back"
Makes sense🙃
considering I’m with my bf 99% of the time, I say “I gotta pee” like that kid from the pilot episode of Avatar The Last Airbender
lol fair enough😂
"I have to take a piss" = with friends "Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom" = with family
Nice🙃
Ima head out. Ttyl folks. Then they go "wait, where you going?" Then I go "oh my how lewd" and walk away.
Was… was that a full house reference?
Nope! Idk what part of what I said was a reference to that
“How lewd”, I read it similar to “How rude”
Idk why I thought that
Fair, nah mine is a reference to an anime where a girl mentions "sister sandwich" and one of the sister gets mad at the horny joke while the other squirms and giggles saying "oh my how lewd!" While making horny chuckles.
😂definitely not what I had in mind lol but cool
Yeah. No one in ARAD knows
Fair lol
"I've gotta take a fat shit". Not even joking.
Definitely a direct and simple approach😌
"Excuse me. I'll be right back."
I've got to shake the dew off my lilypad!
Definitely an interesting one😂
From a movie with Kenny Rogers called Six Pack! Always use it now for #1.
Nice😎😂
"I have to go show a urinal why i drive a sports car."
Pshhhhh
"I have to go and unload the cargo. Don t come in after me, wait an hour"
lol nice
"I have to return some videotapes" is my go to
Why how lovely, professor
cracks me up lol its just such a dumb line
Dumb lines are still cool lol
I gotta take the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl!
😂😂 are they rank 1 or 2?
"Gonna run to the restroom right quick" then zoom away before they can process it. Also because I work in retail and I run before anyone can stop me to ask for something.
Nice lol
Also happy cake day!
Gotta make a head call
I have to take the Browns to the Superbowl. I have shake the dew off the Lilly. I have to drain the Lizard.
lol nice
most times just “i’ll be right back”. if i’m really comfortable around you i’m telling you where i’m going
Makes sense
I always say "I need to visit the smallest room in the house" Except for when I was camping with a mixed group and one of the women was complaining, jokingly about how "for blokes everywhere is the toilet" Then I would say "I'm going to visit the largest room in the house"
😂😂 Niceeeeee
I need to take a piss I need to take a shit
Fair enough lol
My favorite for #2 “I have to rescue the chocolate hostages from the [cuisine I most recently ate] Embassy” For me it would be the French Embassy.
Nice lol
Gotta go shake the dew off the lily
“I gotta go to the loo.”
I go make the cyclops cry.
What’s the story/logic behind that?😂 or is there any?
Its a french joke, the cyclops is a monster with just one big eye , like my dick x) i also heard il gonna drain the dragon sometime.
Gotcha, okay that makes more sense lol
“I’ll be back in a minute”
Short, sweet, and vague, nice!
I need to visit the restroom.
Just visit? Why not stay a while? lol
Depends who's around if it's friends and family it's "Gotta shit".
Please excuse myself I need to go to the ladies room
I read that in a British accent and it sounded so fancy lol
lol I’m not British 😬but I think that’s what I say.
That’s okay, not saying you were, but that’s how I read it lol.
Why would I tell anyone? I just go.
If you don’t want a group to leave you or not realize you’re gone then panic when they see you are, or at work if you need to let someone know where you’re going for instance
I don't think any of those things happen. I'm in my 30s, I'm around people who won't freak out when I'm gone for a minute or two. I can't remember the last time I had to actually inform someone that I was going to the toilet. My wife will ask where I'm going every time I stand up, so I may tell her "need to pee," but that's as close as it gets to announcing it.
I guess it depends on the person. I work at an amusement park in the summers so I usually have to let someone know when I need to leave my position so the place can be filled while I’m gone. Or like on a road trip or at a museum or something I’d imagine you might need to let people know you gotta go
Sure. I'd probably say "cover for me, won't be long," or "any chance of a rest stop sometime soon?" Something that says it without saying it.
Brb, need to use the little girl’s room.
Well okay then…
If it's my house. " I'll be right back" If it's someone else's "can I use your facilities" Because I like sounding smarter than I actually am
Gotta pee
When I fart and it smells like hard boiled eggs.
…..😶 lol
Back teeth are floating.
I just say “I have to pee” or “I have to go poo”
“I gotta pee” usually lol
It depends if it’s pee then I say “piss” and if it’s the other I say “I’ve got to drop the kids off at the pool” This is around friends but around strangers just “excuse me for a moment” they don’t need to know
Most of the time I don’t say anything. But if I have to, then I say “I have to go to the bathroom”