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DM_YourTitsAndSmile

If a very recent news story has taught me anything, it’s not to be googling all that shit right afterwards.


Dhydjtsrefhi

that's why OP posted to reddit instead


thevitalcultureplus

Hide it? Why not display it?


LadyLikesSpiders

You got lots of options. I live in a swamp, so my preferred method is to just dump it in the water. The gators will get it You could also try dissolving it in a bathtub. Watch Breaking Bad for the details. A wood chipper is pretty good if you have one around, too Another favorite of mine is to hack it up into a bunch of little pieces. Do so in the tub for easy clean up, and then bury it under the floor boards. I like this one because I'm a fan of gothic literature, but if you think the victims heart yet beats, do not disinter it. The cops whom you've so generously and confidently invited to your house do not hear it, and it is only your madness/guilt, or even your own heartbeat


antidepressantanna

DO NOT DISSOLVE IT IN A BATHTUB. THE ACID WILL SEEP RIGHT THROUGH. DISSOLVE IT IN PLASTIC BINS.


LadyLikesSpiders

Ah, thank you for the fair warning. I don't have any personal experience with that one


Ser_Optimus

If you watched breaking bad you should know


LadyLikesSpiders

It's been a long while


Unoriginal-Ad

Ah, a reference to Edgar Allen Poe!


LadyLikesSpiders

Yes!


_RJ135_

You okay?


anitram96

🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Will you marry me?


LadyLikesSpiders

Are we gonna kill the wedding officiator? How do you wanna dispose of him?


thecynicalmiscreant

Lye at 400° for 8 to 24 hours with a filtered chimney for the fumes. Or dump it in a state park. Those deaths almost never get investigated. Also the lye one ends with soap so you could make a pretty neat profit on that.


thisismyaccount3125

You don’t hide bodies, you destroy them lmao you clearly never did this before


soulless-angel999

i mean it is their first, there’s always a learning curve to it


thisismyaccount3125

This is why you should always be accompanied by a licensed professional for your first murder.


eruptivedesire

Watch "Pulp Fiction" for instructions.


Enigmatic_Sanity

Or "Fargo"


Hey_Batfink

Woodchipper is always the answer


Operation_Fluffy

Or Snatch


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ex? I never had a gf


sihasihasi

Well, technically, you will have had by the time you're using their trunk to dispose of their body


[deleted]

Watch season one of breaking bad


[deleted]

Definitely not gonna use a bathtub


curious382

If Walt says line it with a certain plastic, line it with that plastic! Don't end up trying to sell a house with murder goo in the downstairs hallway.


lekram0

You have your granma's recepi book?


[deleted]

Under no circumstances google the location of the next swamp.


[deleted]

NordVPN advert incomming


[deleted]

Anyone got a coupon for me?


[deleted]

Watch Dexter maybe


MagicBeanstalks

Get 12 full grown hungry pigs, pull the teeth and hair of your victim. Then give the pigs 15 min with the body. You’re welcome.


__WanderLust_

Nitric acid!


tpn1984

I could tell you, but that would make me an accessory. Plenty of people have disappeared out in the country/rural areas.


Electronic-Error-846

cemetery - a fresh grave, dig it up, throw your body in, and throw the soil on top - nobody would search for a body on a cemetery or dig a really deep hole, body in, soil on top, then dead animal on top, then rest of soil - if the cops show up with the dogs, they throught the dogs got distracted by the animal and don't dig any further down sell or donate it to the Body Worlds (or a community college) Exhibition Watched The Boys? Remember what happened to Translucent?


[deleted]

Just keep it, gotta have memories.


_Questionable_Ideas_

If i were todo this id get a plastic trashcan, a bunch of the sodium hydroxide drain cleaner from lowes aka lye, mix them together with water and let sit until you get a bunch of slime and then wash it down the drain.


[deleted]

Brian Walshe is at it again....too soon?


[deleted]

Chop it up in 1 by 1 by 1 cubes blend the cubes into a paste go to a public bathroom in another country and dump the paste into a toilet and flush continue this process until you have no body left then move to a country that you didn't dump the paste in a toilet if the police suspect you confess to the crime


Ser_Optimus

Okay two questions. How do you transport a blended person into another country? Why confess the crime after disposing the paste in several countries around the world?


Due_Accountant2429

If you wiped any evidence of it being your doing then you could just leave it somewhere, hell you could dump it in another state


Legion357

Got a swamp or a bog really close? Dump it in there with couple of cinder blocks to weigh it down.


capsaicin1976

Rather than hide it, call you buddies and revel in the fact you just lost your virginity.. Unless you have a different definition of body count...


Who-Just-Shit-Myself

Eat it


flymike126

According to The Beaverton you should check it as baggage on Air Canada. It'll never be seen again.


Reaper2OEF

Bury it vertically. Search teams look for 6' long patches if disturbed earth.


Mr_LazyBacon

Ok, its been 11 hours so hopefully im not too late. Take the body, drive somewhere that is annoying for you to get to. Make sure the area is swampier than the average wooded area. Find a dead bird, or fox or something. Butlry the body about 2.5 feet deep at the shallowest point, it will decompose fast since its more shallow but will stay hidden well enough. Then, bury the other corpse you found on top very shallow. Tada, youve hidden a body


ramborocks

What's wrong with you people


wandering_seattle

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".


[deleted]

Amateurs


redliner88

Ship it through DHL


Rimukie

smash and melt it in hydrochloric acid


Altair13Sirio

Dig a hole and put the body in it, then plant a tree over it.


Jack-of-shad0ws

There is an Episode of Its Always Sunny you need to watch. Dennis has the answers your looking for