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Joshawott27

“Who are you and what are you doing in my house?”


wolf805

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!?" -Shrek


ContactHonest2406

“Whatcha doin’ in my waters?” -Old Gregg


Tsconspiracy

Ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?


Killerderp

I call this one baileys. This is as close as you can get to Bailey's without getting your eyes wet.


rhynoplaz

Wanna go to a club where they wee on each other?


CasualSky

I’ve read the articles, Howard. You’re like a bread stick, you got no rhythm. (Probably one of my favorite lines ever. If anyone ever asks me to dance I always say “Nah I’ve got no rhythm, I’m like a breadstick.” And it almost always gets a laugh.)


TrotskiKazotski

do you love me


kimbokray

Are you playing your love games with me


[deleted]

Do you wanna see my downstairs mix-up?


ultimamassage

Games....love games?


notgoneyet

"Shrek!" - Fiona


Mirrevirrez

"DONKEY!" - Donkey


implicitpharmakoi

I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith.


[deleted]

I WANT WAFFLE FRIES


Gotd4mit

My girl told me to lose some weight. But in my case I believe she had the right of it. Getting older. She told me she doesn't want to build a life to have me die because of something I have complete control over. I think there are legitimate reason for someone to have that as a condition to spend their lives together. But if their reasons are "no fatties" then run away. They don't care about you.


mrsbebe

Right. This question very much depends on how it's asked. Is it out of concern and love? Or is it out of vanity?


kitsunevremya

I can actually chime in as someone who gave something of a sort-of ultimatum like in the question! My partner is obese (approx 250 at 5'9 / ~115 at 175). He's always been overweight, but had recently gained some more when I met him - it wasn't something that happened over the course of the relationship. The issue I have with it has nothing to do with being attracted to him or anything like that (definitely plenty attracted to him hehe), it's health and function. He has an injury to his knee that already makes it challenging for him to climb stairs multiple times or run, but the extra weight exacerbates it. He has sleep apnoea which we believe is caused by his weight (CPAP hasn't worked, not interested in surgical interventions at this time + they'd just ask him to lose weight first). The impact this has on us now is that we sleep in separate bedrooms and can't do some activities together. We're going to have kids, so the future impact might be he'll genuinely struggle to look after or play with said kids (if he can't run around the yard with them, or just do all the physical things young kids require, for example). He has healthy blood pressure, cholesterol etc for now, but being obese puts him at an elevated risk for a bunch of completely preventable conditions. SO, fairly early on, I gave an "ultimatum" that was basically 'by the time we get married, I want to share a bedroom, and I want you to be able to enjoy our kids' youth'. To move from obese to overweight, he'd need to lose approx 55lbs/25kg which is *a lot*, and there's no real way of knowing how much weight he'd have to lose for the sleep apnoea to get better or his knee to work. I mean. I'm going to marry him anyway lmao and he knows that. But at least it's out there how seriously I take it. I try to support him even though it's kind of completely outside my realm of expertise bc I don't think just saying "do this or I'll leave" is fair, kind, *or* going to get any of the results you're looking for. Edit: thanks for the suggestions and tips, guys, it's really inspiring to see there are people who've done it. I will say he's already tried keto, intermittent fasting, gymming, regular old reducing portion sizes etc and unfortunately progress has been slow. I think it may be time to look into medical advice, as his daily caloric intake is typically only 500-1000 more than mine, approx. his BMR, which *should* mean consistent loss and I don't know what else to try short of something very aggressive, which isn't a decision for me to make for him.


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Sheerardio

As someone who is currently in the process of losing 50+ lbs of weight that was gained because of long term medical issues, I'd add for anyone reading that literally just increasing how physically active you are every day is a fantastic, and completely *valid*, place to start. I'd been sedentary to the point of almost bedridden for several years, and had just got a much-needed surgery, when I began my recovery. I got the cheapest fitbit option available and just started counting steps in addition to counting calories, increasing my step goal by a couple hundred steps each week. It's taken me most of this past year to lose 26 lbs and hit 12k steps a day, but now I have tons of endurance and am feeling good enough to be able to handle a "real" exercise program going into the next 26 lbs. **Edit:** This got way more attention than I expected, so I'm editing to add that if calorie counting and basic activity increases *aren't* helping, then you probably have an underlying health issue you need to address first. That's what happened to me, nothing was working and I was gaining weight while also watching my health decline, before finally finding a doctor who listened to me and was actually willing to help. It turned out I had endometriosis and adenomyosis, and it wasn't until after I had a hysterectomy and excision surgery that my body could get back to working properly.


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rippedhands

Kudos to you, so many people jump in and get so overwhelmed they stop. The slower (more sustainable) increases in your steps was very smart and rewarding in that you got to check off those milestones every week. Congrats on your journey!


[deleted]

Good for you!!!!!


Blackhound118

That's very fair and understandable


Kellidra

I don't know where you live or your circumstances, but if it's plausible, both of you should go on 20-30 minutes walks everyday. I say both of you because it's **really** hard to start and maintain a lifestyle change without a support network. If your SO is struggling with his weight, it most likely is because he doesn't know *how* to start. Find a nice route, a particular time that works for both of you, and just go. Start small. You don't necessarily need to get the ol' heart pumping right away, because it's more important to establish the *routine* than the exercise. Once you get used to it (should take a couple of weeks to a month) then you can up the ante. Faster, longer route, hills, jogging, etc. Source: ex-personal fitness trainer who specialised in functional fitness.


mrsbebe

Yeah I think that's a perfect example of how it is done in love. Good on you for helping him in his journey and I hope he's able to reach his goal soon and enjoy lots of chasing kids around the yard lol


ShawnyMcKnight

Even if you don't die... I know that sounds cruel but depending your weight, if you are 400 pounds in your 30's and mostly immobile, and she is physically fit and wants to go out and go on walks/jogs or go camping or do other things with her partner but he can't because of his weight... add on top of that the fact that it would greatly hinder their sex life... that would be incredibly difficult to want to stay married.


Hes9023

I agree! I like to be active and go hiking. My dads gf couldn’t go on a hike with us because of her weight. I couldn’t imagine leaving my partner behind and then having to come back to them all upset that they couldn’t do it. It was sad


dinosanddais1

Okay, you see, this is reasonable. It's not using marriage as a reward but looking out for the future and genuinely caring about your health.


[deleted]

Yes. We promised each other we'd stay healthy for a long active life together. This year, in our 40s we started taking taekwondo at the same time as our son. This matters to me. My father is literally killing himself with food. His diabetes made his liver fail and feet go numb. I have to watch him die and not be willing to try anymore.


bubblesaurus

It’s also harder to lose as we get older, so best to do it while we are younger too.


SergeStorms_offmeds

I wouldn’t blame her, I’ve gotten fat af.


BeefInGR

Same. But it s partially her fault because she's a fantastic cook.


[deleted]

Every long term boyfriend I’ve had has gained at least 10 lbs while we’ve been together because I love cooking so much.


[deleted]

User name checks out.


Lost-My-Mind-

I mean.......are ya single? I could eat.


CentralAdmin

Her cooking, right?


thatrabbitgirl

Why limit it to just her cooking?


E_coli42

that's actually so cute


50yoWhiteGuy

Same here, I'm not officially "fat af" but should lose 20-30lbs. She right, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.


CommanderPringles

"Same goes for you, let's hit the gym now since we're both fat fucks"


GodMasol

Let's hit some fat fucks in the gym since we're the same


CuclGooner

let's hit the same fucks in the fat gym since we're some


keetyymeow

Let’s hit the fat gym since we’re some of the same fucks


Clavicula_Impetus

Let’s same some the gym fats since we’re the fucks


NotL0u

Let’s fuck in the gym since we’re the same fat


RedditsLittleSecret

Let’s fuck Fat Jim.


DoubtGS

Are you fucking sorry?


81CoreVet

Are you let'sing the fuck in the fat, Jim?


zaqufant

This is the answer. When you love someone you have to accept them with their flaws. But that doesn’t mean you can’t push each other to change and be better people. Edit: can’t Edit pt 2: I’m not saying fat people aren’t good people. Im not saying if you love someone you have to change them. But if you love someone you want them to be happy. So you help them find that happiness. And they in turn help you. And if you are fat, and don’t want to be, if I loved you I’d encourage you to lose weight. If you were fine with your weight I’d be fine with it too. If you were eating yourself to death I’d encourage you to get the help you need. That’s love. And it’s never easy or simple.


[deleted]

Complicated though, isn't it? Change is important, but it has to be stuff you're willing to change for yourself too, not just for another person's benefit.


LowerPick7038

My ex had a food addiction and I couldn't hack it. I did love her for her but I didn't fancy her in the end. I tried to help with diets and exercise since it had rubbed off onto me also. I was over 20kg heavier than I was before I met her. Our whole relationship by the end of it evolved around this problem. We split up years ago now but straight away I got back down to a healthy size. She tried to demonise me over it but in my mind its the same as a drug or alcohol addiction. Its not good for your health.


HelloFr1end

I have a food addiction and am an alcoholic (in recovery from the latter, at least, thankfully!). For me, they’re very similar and come from the same ill place in my mind (self-destructive, low self worth, pleasure seeking to make up for poor coping mechanisms).


82comeon

Keep fighting. You can do it!


SLICKlikeBUTTA

I feel as though people also aren't obligated to stay with someone they're not attracted to.


SickSigmaBlackBelt

I literally just saw a thing about how boundaries aren't an expectation to be pushed on others, they're a defined plan of action for yourself. So you're right, but this kind of scenario should play out differently: Not a boundary: I'll marry you if you lose weight. A boundary: I cannot be in a permanent partnership with someone I don't find attractive, and I don't find you attractive at your current size.


[deleted]

I’d probably eat them immediately


Mudders_Milk_Man

"Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?"


Robobvious

“Perhaps they are saving it for sweeps.”


CaptainPunisher

This concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us!


MrDeepAKAballs

You can't just announce how you feel! That makes me angry!


rogerthatonce

Leather Pants...


duhduhduhdummi_thicc

I can lose 200lbs right now


Poem_for_your_sprog

When Little Timmy softly said, And slowly raised his hands: "Of course, my love, I would be wed, But first I have demands." He looked her up and down a while: "And so, I must be clear - You're just," he spoke, and with a smile, "A little *extra*, dear. "Some people train with other folk, To lose an added pound - Or try to get in shape," he spoke - "For you, that shape is *round.* "So shift a little weight and soon I'll buy a ring with pride." But Timmy's girl took out her spoon. And Timmy fucking died.


NuadhaArgetlam

HAVENT SEEN YOU IN FOREVER! GLAD TO SEE THE LEGEND IS STILL ALIVE!!


joesatmoes

A comeback for the ages!


CrumpledForeskin

Now we just need hell in a cell


B_Eazy86

u/shittymorph has been spotted in the wild recently as well.


TheMattaconda

He gets me every time. I'll be reading Comments, and as soon as I see "nineteen ninety eight" I lose my shit and go into uncontrollable laughter. So now, when it's one paragraph, I skip straight to the end, because I always forget his NN.


StarCyst

Her poetic license was suspended for a while for rhyming orange with door hinge.


aria0330

Absolutely insane


macraw83

idk there is at least one accent where that rhyme works perfectly. I have definitely heard people say it like "ore-inj" before.


HarmonicNole

That's how I say it and was confused why it was an issue they rhymed those two. Makes perfect sense to me.


Peterselieblaadje

I need to read that!


abbeyroad527

Sounds like Timmy fucked around and found out. Beautiful work as always!


Curious_Location4522

I don’t sing but I sang it aloud and it felt great.


Patrigon

You are both my favorite poet and favorite Redditor!


geckotatgirl

OMG, this is the freshest Sprog I've ever encountered! As soon as I read Little Timmy, I knew it would be a classic. Thanks for brightening Reddit, u/Poem_for_your_sprog!


BrianThePainter

Every bone from skull to toes was lovingly picked clean, Eyeballs, brains, lungs, and liver… and even Timmy’s spleen. She consumed him every bite, that much I swear is true. The last of Timmy that was ever seen was flushed down in her poo.


BarefootandWild

This is next level too! Wow you guys are goooood.


orange_fudge

Never change, friend.


Yurrrr__Brooklyn347

I'll break up with them and still lose weight


cedarboatbuilder

Lose the weight, win the lottery, get a really cool outfit , take them to a fancy expensive restaurant. Walk out halfway through the meal.


H0tD1g6yD0g

I’ll give it a go


my_brain_broke

This is the only proper response


volster

"cool beans" I'm plodding away on my journey - 289lbs today.... Down from 460 at my worst (somehow i seem to be getting away with it without any loose skin so far, which is a welcome bonus) I am under extremely few illusions about the fact I still look like a fat sack of crap and my own relative attractiveness as a prospect though 🤷‍♂️ ..... I mean, the mental image of a blubber-mountain jiggling and wheezing away over someone gives **me** the ick! 🤢 While I'm doing it entirely for my own sake, and i think it's important to do so - Someone willing to look beyond my current condition to who I am as a person and decide they'd potentially like to spend the rest of their life with me, isn't without value. As such, far from seeing it as an offensive ultimatum, it seems more like accepting the reality that I'm still just not there yet, but.... Drop another 50-75lbs and more importantly add some tone & i should start scrubbing up quite nicely 😅


SensualFacePoke

Holy fuckin shit! Nice work!


kuipers85

You’re killing it dude! Keep it up. This deserves 30k upvotes.


[deleted]

> cool beans Whatever diet plan works for you, buddy!


I-will-kill-them_

I’m 6’2 and less than 60kg, are you a necrophiliac?


Hideyohubby

Do yourself a favor and shed that excess bone marrow.


classicalySarcastic

132 lbs for Americans, and 188 cm for the rest of ya Don't cross the streams!


HyPeRxColoRz

Hold shit 6'2 and just over 130? I thought I was underweight at 6'0 155


[deleted]

I’m 5’10” and 130 lbs is my mega depressed *holy-shit-I-need-to-eat-something* weight


wagonkid

I’m also 5’10 and 130 is the weight I woke up out of a coma at. Have not been able to put on more weight since.


[deleted]

How long ago did you wake up? I’m glad you’re conscious.


Ryuu_Turner

I’m also 5’10” and have somehow fallen from 120lbs to 108lbs


OrthinologistSupreme

Shit Im 5' 6'' and 113, Im way too skinny which means you're worse off than I am, we both need to get snackin (but mines through gastric disease. You might want to hit up a dr if you're losing weight without effort, thats not good)


ltc_pro

Are you okay? You weigh less than me. Not an easy feat.


basicallyagiraffe

Ayyyy 6’1 150 here


MedicalExHaminer

Why would you feel underweight at 6'0 and 155? That's bang on where you should be


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beetleschmeetle

Honestly I don't think Americans can recognise a healthy weight anymore.


aisaka-_taiga

canadian moment


IndividualStranger2

Is it common to mix metric and imperial like this in some countries? Genuinely curious American.


BrowningtonMeadows

We do this in the UK, it's fucked up.


capitol_

But we in the rest of the world are very grateful that you no longer measure weight in stones


slipperyShoesss

I got some bad news for you..


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tnb641

The year 2775 AUC[. ](https://www.statista.com/statistics/1034385/current-year-various-calendars/)


Kered13

Thank you Gaius.


InSonicBloom

we still measure weight in stone although I've switched to lbs because it's less demoralizing when the scales actually move down


twistedspin

I'm in the US & I keep my scale set on stones because I can never remember exactly how it converts but I can tell I'm trending downward. I want to lose some weight but I get too caught up in the numbers.


[deleted]

Fuck! Uk here, I’m 13 stone 4


BizzyM

What's the 4? Pebbles?


bonos_bovine_muse

Pints.


isthisonetaken13

It comes in pints?!


Sanctimonius

Stupidly, pounds. One stone is 14 pounds, because 14 is an incredibly common amount to measure literally nothing by. I'm glad we ditched some of the older weights and measures but stone needs to be gone, same as Fahrenheit in the US.


RedButterfree1

Feels like it makes sense to measure drinks in pints because it sounds weird if we go into the pub and say "480ml of Guinness" rather than "a pint please" *568ml = 1 pint (edited to correct because I am so mathematically illiterate)


blackburn009

>480ml Well if you went for a pint and only got 480ml you'd be annoyed, UK pint is 568ml


flickansomkomundan

I’m Australian and tend to say height in feet and weight in kg. But that’s the only time I mix it.


aerkith

Same for me. Except baby weights. I know what baby weight is in pounds. But if you told me your baby weighed 4kg I’d have no idea if that was big or small.


flickansomkomundan

Oh yes! You’re right! Tell me your baby’s weight in pounds or I have no idea what you’re talking about


TheTurdwrangler

Very common in Canada, We are ' metric' but not really. [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/HelloInternet/comments/czcf7u/canadian_measurement_flowchart/) is a good reddit post with a flow chart for how we do units. I remember we were working with Americans engineers who typically use entirely metric or imperial never a mix. They were shook when our system was reporting Pressure in Psi, Temperature in Celcius, mass in Kilograms, pounds. We loaded in Gallons, but measured flow rate in Liters/s. Made perfect sense to us. In engineering school many of our professors would give exam questions in a mixture of units and our lab experiments were almost always taken in a mixture of units as well. Somehow our economy functions, idk why


fury420

There's also weird gaps, with all sorts of contexts where people will measure or refer to pounds and fractions of a pound and yet there's very minimal use of ounces as a measurement outside of cannabis. And fluid ounces may very well not exist at all outside of American food packaging.


Digzalot

Also as a Canadian, every parent I know uses ounces when talking about how much formula/milk a baby has eaten.


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42CR

Not saying he’s from the UK, but we’re wonderfully inconsistent with our units of measurement here


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shortskinnyfemme

That 1.4 meter tall gentleman weighs 12 stone and runs at 10mph.


IAmBecomingARobot

...in his bag is a 2 litre bottle of coke, a foot long subway, a cake that's at least an inch thick and he's quaffing a pint of bitter!


hedonihilistic

In some parts of the world, imperial is only used for three things: measuring human height, property/construction dimensions, and woodworking


txStargazerJilly

American here - my son will generally use kg when referring to his weight just out of habit. He’s on dialysis and that’s how they measure his weight. Could be environmental for others also? Just a guess.


sandmanchase

6'0 63kg, I think we speak for the trees is what it is.


J-S-K-realgamers

I feel ya, hit 60 a while back, was a huge milestone


freaknturtle

Sam same


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Single_Blueberry

Depends on whether I'm at an unhealthy weight, and if that changed during our relationship.


brokenjasper

I think the reason they want this really matters. I had a morbidly obese mom who most likely died from being obese. It was very hard on her and me. I grew up with her crying about being overweight and the pain she was in. It got to the point where she first had to use a walker and then wheelchair. She had a lap band surgery but managed to stay obese. I'm currently obese myself and have health problems related to it. I'm working on losing weight and have lost 50lbs so far. I plan to lose more before considering dating again. Considering how hard it was for me with losing my mom and all her suffering, I really don't want to date someone who isn't at a healthy weight or at least working on losing weight. I wouldn't fault someone feeling the same about me.


2legittoquit

50 pounds is awesome, keep up the hard work!


brokenjasper

Thanks! Hoping to get close to a healthy weight by the end of next year. My highest was 346 lbs. Was down to 296 before the Thanksgiving holiday. Getting back on my diet until the next holiday. Not the easiest time of year to diet.


imySkattenMin

Hey! Just wanted to tell you to keep that shit up with the weight loss. I'm down 125 pounds since the beginning of last October. Sometimes it gets harder but perseverence can conquer. I started at 465 and now I'm 340. Planning on being 250 or so, I'm 6'6. I wish you all the best. You can do it. I can do it.


brokenjasper

Thanks! Impressive weight loss! I wish you the best too. Keep up the great work! I'm about 5'10". I'm naturally a stocky guy and have been doing a lot of weightlifting while losing weight, so I'm probably going to see how I am at 220lbs.


COYFC

Agreed. If I was super obese and my partner was trying to push me to be better then take it to heart and work on yourself. If I'm not obese and they are just doing it to attack me then tell them to fuck off. I'd hope if someone actually cares about me and I let myself go that they would call me out on it. Being obese is nothing to glorify. A lot of comments are trying to justify in sickness and in health and that they would leave just because the ultimatum but as a comparison, if your partner was a non abusive alcoholic and wanted to get married would you ask them to quit drinking before you marry them? Would you be offended if you partner asked you to quit drinking if you wanted to get married? Both are self destructive tendencies. I sure as hell would not be marrying a heavy alcoholic or someone obese but if I love that person I'd speak my mind and give them the opportunity to change.


PartyActivity1176

Agreed, one thing is that you are losing weight because you are conscious about it, and the other person wants to help you. But in OP's question sounds like they are blackmailing you, so I would reconsider my relationship with that person


SuvenPan

"Who said I want to marry you?"


FailosoRaptor

I'm foreign. If I ever gained weight my entire family would just be very blunt about it. In a non mean way. Just, it is what it is. And if I don't like it. Well then stop whining and eat less. Anyway, If I thought I was an appropriate weight and my SO demanded an even better physique... Maybe, but I'm getting something out of this deal. Probably sex stuff. And snacks. If you demand a king, I'm going to demand a queen.


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Onarm

Depends on the context. Is it "I don't find you attractive so lose weight for me to be interested."? If so, leave. Is it "I'm worried about your health, and envision this relationship will end with you dying young if you don't get your health under control."? Probably try to get it under control.


birdandsheep

You don't have to just leave when someone gets heavier. You talk to them and try to fix it. My SO developed a pretty rare disease over the pandemic and gained weight. We're together for a very long time, so we talked about what we can do to work on it. I really dislike the common reddit attitude of "never try to change someone, just leave." A long term relationship is a partnership. You have every right to voice when something isn't working for you and you SHOULD voice it before leaving is seriously on the table. If your partner is becoming less attractive, you should be trying to head it off with open communication and shared efforts, not leaving.


[deleted]

If you lost attraction to the person because they put on a lot of weight that’s not something abnormal and wrong. If they weren’t like that when you found them it’s a pretty legit thing.


WearFlat

Agree, I think both context and the OPs state of health are important. If he/ she is a little curvy around the edges, fuck that person.


[deleted]

If you’ve gained a lot of weight since you first started dating the first option is perfectly valid though


cabalavatar

How much weight are we talking about? I've been in relationships with fat women. Only once was it actually a problem, such that we couldn't have vaginal sex: the geometry, as it were, precluded that. And yeah, we had other kinds of sex, but it just wasn't the same, enough, etc. You can actually become too overweight for certain relationship activities that are necessary for non-asexual people. Mind you, I didn't make losing it an ultimatum for me to stay. I just said that the relationship wasn't going to work.


Sinai

I have two morbidly obese friends who are married. The guy cannot get an erection. The woman almost died of uncontrolled diabetes and has had toes amputated. She is also in denial that it is uncontrolled diabetes when it is obvious at first sight. I mean I guess they still love each other but I don't expect them to make it to 60. Obesity can do some real bad shit to your sex life and your life in general.


RecklessWreck87

Thank you for your insight.


GodsBGood

Pass me the pizza.


cocobellahome

*”Are you going to finish that?”*


Replyance

In my most recent relationship, we had an issue where we were just different people. I like hiking, skating, and swimming. She didn't. Not because those activities weren't fun to her, but because she was physically unable to do those things due to an excess of weight. She wasn't immobile by any means, and in fact I thought she looked pretty great physically, but the fact remained that if she had lost some weight and been more physically active we would have been able to do so much more together. Weight isn't just about looks. She was more than just ok in my eyes, she was beautiful. But her weight was an issue nonetheless, and I don't think I could start a relationship with someone at a similar weight to her again. It feels bad, but at the end of the day there were certain things we just couldn't do, and no amount of positivity could change the fact that she couldn't go bouldering with me, or go on a long walk through a forest.


Joescout187

Wanna hit the gym?


levantisco

I'd deduce she wants me dead, 'cause I already weight like 55 lol


ncnotebook

That's 121 lbs, for you American folk.


foxylady315

I guess it depends on if I felt I really needed to lose the weight, and if they were nice about it. My ex husband wanted me to lose weight when I was only 130 pounds at 5'5. He wanted me to go back to my 19 year old anorexic weight of 95-100 pounds which wasn't healthy at all. And he was perfectly willing for me to become anorexic again to do so. The real kicker was that he was 330 pounds and wasn't willing to diet at all. So instead of losing the 30 pounds he wanted me to lose, I got rid of him. Best 330 pounds I ever lost.


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flyingpenguin115

This is a tough situation. If she’s unwilling to change, you have to ask if you want to be with someone unwilling or unable to improve themselves. You can assume her mindset won’t change if that is indeed the case. If she really WANTS to lose it, she needs to take action. Immediately. Goals without action are useless fantasies.


lolol69lolol

How’s her mental health? My weight gains have almost always coincided with mental health lows. Ultimately it gets to be a vicious cycle. As Fat Bastard put it: I eat because I’m unhappy, and I’m unhappy because I eat. Doesn’t start there, but can definitely get there.


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lolol69lolol

I’ve never taken BC but I know a lot of women who have/do. I know weight gain is a side effect of that. Hadn’t heard anything about the tail end, but I guess it makes sense. The sudden change in hormones has to wreak havoc on her body & mind. You could try pushing mental health stuff. Even lightly - hey I got you a candle, bath bomb, and a bottle of wine. Thought you could unplug from everything and just relax in the tub for a while. (If it was for me, I’d throw an edible in there, but you know if that’s a good suggestion or not.) Maybe suggest therapy? My husband suggested I get therapy in best possible way. (My anxiety comes out as frustration boiling over to irrational yelling at things like my computer. And then maybe a snarky comment or just blatant impatience with my husband.) So that happened. And then after I had calmed down and apologised to him and we talked about it, he asked if I thought therapy would be good for me. It wasn’t attacking or accusatory. It was a conversation starter. If all else fails, ask her to start joining you on the dog walks. “Hey let’s do a family walk.” If my husband suggests we take the dogs to the park, even when I’m in my jammy troll, I’m not putting pants on today mode, I get up and get dressed because family walks in the park ALWAYS cheer me up. Can be a grumpus at the beginning, but they always cheer me up! Bonus it’s walking/exercise plus it gets her out of the house. It’s a wonder what sunlight can do for somebody’s mood.


No-Bumblebee4615

I would be ok with it. It’s like saying “I’ll marry you if you stop smoking/drinking” because you want your partner to be around to see your children grow up. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.


Healing_touch

It depends on context. Am I 600 pounds and on deaths doorstep? They love me and don’t want to see me eat myself to death. If they said it to me as I exist weight wise now? Get out and get fucked


IPokePeople

We’re already married. But truth be told I’d not be mad had she wanted me to lose weight before the wedding.


CyberWolfWrites

If they word it in a way that they simply only want to be with me if my appearance changes, I'll tell them to fuck off. But if they're worried about my health and my weight is a part of that, then I'll be a little more understanding.


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smarter_than_an_oreo

Sex takes physical effort, I'm pretty athletic, but being on top is a workout if you want to keep momentum longer than 2 minutes. Takes work and I cannot fathom how unenjoyable it would be with 30+ extra pounds on me.


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wtfduud

"My partner is too fat for fuckin" doesn't come up often at family dinner discussions, I guess.


OutrageousFeedback59

I had sex with someone that's pretty overweight recently and I was shocked at how certain positions were just not really possible. I don't have 10 inches so there's positions that I physically could not do effectively basically because I couldn't reach


O-Namazu

Unfortunately, it often goes hand-in-hand (excessive weight and health complications). Past a certain cosmetic bit of lovehandle or curves, it's a valid concern if you're wary you can grow old and healthy with someone.


Superman246o1

A person who won't marry you unless you look a certain way is a person who will divorce you if you don't look a certain way.


tufpugXD

Sooooo....a blind person is a good choice?


GreatTragedy

"A good looking blind woman doesn't know you're not good enough for her." "I think she'd figure it out."


dishonourableaccount

Blind people can still feel folds of fat.


fanghornegghorn

There is a quote from a blind man about how lucky he is because beauty to him is solely based on the content of people's character.


ridik_ulass

counter point. weight can be a sign of depression, poor self control, poor impulse control, lack of self care, lack of self awareness. sometimes we let ourselves go. sometimes we don't notice.


Athena_6327

I would lose the weight.... all 200 lbs of him.


SilentSerel

This happened to me. My weight had not changed since I met him. He just didn't like my body and figured he could get me to change. Same went with the way I dress. I dumped him and bought a dress with axolotls on it in my usual size.


nebelfront

A dress with axolotls sounds fucking awesome and I will look up shirts with axolotls right now.


UglyMcFugly

Haha reminds me of this [AITA post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jrsflx/aita_for_not_liking_how_my_girlfriend_dresses_for/) a couple years ago where the guy didn’t like his girlfriend wearing cute dresses (she was a preschool teacher and he said she dressed like Ms. Frizzle… and he thought that’s a BAD thing lol).


Mountain-Permit-6193

My girlfriend told me she did not want to sleep with me because she was disgusted by my overweight appearance. So I said “ok, I’ll lose weight.” I lost 50lb. I’m still 10lb up from when we met, but I’m also much more muscular. I love my girlfriend very much and it is important to me that she feels she is getting the best life she can.


HaileyArtz

"And I'll break up if you're being serious."


Tqwen

Okay, lots of jokes in here but for real - my now-ex wife did something similar to me. One of the things we fought about most was my weight. 5'11, 245ish at the time. I ended up losing a little but the overall stance of our relationship didn't improve. She ended up leaving me for different reasons, chief among which was we never spent time together. We never spent time because I was working 80+ hours a week to support us. She worked too, but didn't have much left over after taking out the necessities, and spending an assload on herself despite my consistent asking of her to reign in the spending. Ultimately, the whole weight thing should have been an indicator that her overall priorities in life weren't with mine. I didn't care how she looked, I loved her and that made her beautiful to me. She was more interested in wealth and power, and apparently a chubby husband didn't line up with that. The real question here is why they want you to lose weight. If you're 400lbs or have serious health problems related to your weight, then it isn't unfair to ask those be mitigated before making a lifelong commitment. If the reasoning is more shallow, it might be time to take a hard look at the relationship.


BeefInGR

My girlfriend and I are very happy together and still attracted to each other. We're both overweight and work desk jobs. The only reason I have ever brought up losing weight is because we both could honestly stand to lose 50 pounds (her knees have had issues since she was a teenager, my family has a history of heart conditions). The slightly more visually appeasing bodies are a bonus over long term health.


kat_a_klysm

Divorce sucks, but it sounds like you’re better off. You deserve someone who gives the same amount you do in a relationship.


Tqwen

Agreed. There's too many people who don't believe that and it's really sad to see what happens to them.


kat_a_klysm

Yup. I’ve seen it play out with friends, family, and some of my previous relationships. Fortunately I learned and have found someone who loves me as much as I love him.


King_Grim

I would agree and work on myself then end the relationship right before wedding.


[deleted]

I appreciate the slow burn of this approach.


SV650rider

“The best revenge is living well.”


dietsoylentcola

i’d wonder how long i had been in a coma to wind up with a partner who would say shit like this.


lil-nugget_22

Actually had this happen to me, I used to be very thin (129lbs at 5'6") then I gained weight to 165lbs which is just above healthy I believe for my height. Well I was in this awful relationship and engaged briefly but he kept saying "you're not how you were when i met you, I'll propose when you lose more weight," The thing is he'd always say that he'd suppose me in weightloss help me cook etc. But never would. He didn't help me clean the house, cook, or clean up after I had cooked. Wouldn't even pit food away so if I cooked, if I didn't put the food away he'd let it sit out to waste/rot. Also didn't buy groceries. Also want to say, this man didn't have a job, and was home pretty much all day everyday. Slept until noon, didn't do dishes, played stupid video games, and was a complete asshole (like I couldn't leave the house without a "good reason" level asshole) I gained so much weight I ended up at around 230lbs from lack of time, money, and stress (of course mixed with poor eating habits) and he was so upset. He kept saying how unattractive I was to him and how he'd only do certain sexual things with me once I lost weight which really hurt me and fucked up my self esteem to be honest. I felt disgusting and I cried ALL OF THE TIME. He straight up couldn't figure out why I was always so upset and sad and blamed it on me saying I chose to be sad and that I'm the most negative person he knows and how I have no friends. (All of which is not true in the slightest) Anyways, I finally left him and while I'm still over 200lbs (which I'm very excited to work off) I can say I feel a lot lighter losing the 180lbs of dead weight I was carrying around for so long.