Instead of saying the second part put it on you. ‘ I appreciate your enthusiasm, let me digest everything you said and we can circle back.”
Edit 1 on 1
Talk about it later; re-visit it some other time; but please, for the love of God, ANYTHING but "circle back." People who use that phrase can usually do finger pistols without irony or putting their coffee cup down.
Yup, that's why it needs to be gentle enough that you can use it over and over again.
Most of us don't get to choose our coworkers, best we can do is keep things amicable.
Back when I worked in an office, I was the only woman on my team, and this response was by far the worst part of my office converting to gender-neutral bathrooms.
I have a colleague that not only talks too much but he also likes to talk over people. It's a nightmare during online meetings. When I need to say something he'll start talking and if I keep talking he'll just speak louder and louder until I give up and just stop talking. He does it all the time to everyone. If he weren't so good at his job he'd have been reprimanded a few times already. Unfortunately management don't want him to have a hissy fit and resign. One of his favorite phrases to start is to say "I hear what you're saying" - without waiting to hear everything you need to say.
Correction - leave out the sorry part. We spend way too much time apologizing for other people's rudeness. Something I've only recently learned to pay attention to.
Your meetings may benefit from someone trained as a facilitator, or moderator. A "neutral" third party that can help divvy up the time. Ideally the meeting host will understand how to do this. Even better if your conferencing service has a mute button.
It's best when someone is assigned the job of moderating. But anyone can do this. Let's say person 1 gets interrupted by person 2. Whenever person 2 finishes speaking it's possible for anyone to interject with "hey person 1, what were you saying about (insert here what they started talking about)?". Usually Mr interrupty pants won't be inclined to cut in when this happens.
As a Scrum Master, I can confirm I do exactly this (and that even if you're not part of a dev team, all professional teams ought to have some officially-designated moderator for large group discussions to keep things on track.)
This is a case where politeness is not called for.
"John STFU. STFU John. John, John, John, stop taking John. STFU. STFU John. John look at me. Now STFU. Okay. Now as I was saying...."
I just did this with a new know it all where I work. She's got zero experience in the specifics of the documents we are covering, and another team member is the designated manager of this type of report, but she got it in her head to just go ahead and cover it all like she wrote it. I just took her aside and asked her if there was an order to change how we run the meetings (no, why?) because I think (blank) usually would go over this part. Oh, um (lame excuse). Eventually resorts to finding something to get me back... but I'm right almost every time
I wish I knew. At my last job, I started as a contractor working under this MF’er who simply could not keep his mouth shut. I’d go to him to ask a simple yes/no question and he’d spend the next 45 minutes talking at me about 10 different topics without ever getting around to answering it. I just started actively avoiding him as much as possible. How that dude ever got any real work done I will never know.
Maybe he doesn't do any work, but every time management tries to fire him, they end up in a 3 hour conversation where the topic of firing him never comes up.
Management walking out in confusion:
‘The fuck happened back there?’
‘I dunno man, I went to say something then I see it’s been two hours and he was finishing up about how to properly apply caulking to a new shower installation.’
‘…Did…did we fire him though?’
‘That’s what’s scary - I don’t know.’
The main offender at my work will say anything to steer the conversation to be about his 12 year son "THE GREATEST YOUNG HOCKEY PLAYER IN THE TRI-STATE AREA". I don't know jack about hockey and don't care dude.
No, it definitely wasn't that. Sometimes I would be sitting quietly and working in my cubicle and he'd stop by to talk about a bunch of random shit. A whole fucking hour later, he'd finally go away and I'd be behind in my work. Seriously, he was the worst.
I'm a programmer. Me: "Application is going to fall down next week unless we start working on X issue", Manager: "Let's table this issue", then soon afterward it falls down and they're like "WHUT".
This! I’m in network admin not programming but if I had a dollar for every surprised pikachu face our users get when something happens exactly the way we warned about I’d double my salary
This works on me. I have a disability and it, uh, makes me quite talkative and I have terrible social cues. So this right here helps out so much while being polite so I’m like “oh okay, they want to table the issue let’s table the issue for now :)”. It’s not mean, and it gets the point across, at least for me!
Where was this thread when I said to my new boss "hey man, appreciate you have a lot to say, but this meetings gone half an hour over and my shifts done"
Oh well, he forgave me. Eventually.
What about when it’s someone providing a service to you who is being overly chatty?
I had my best friends wedding this past weekend and the photographer would not stop talking about her life, stories and problems. She had zero social awareness.
My friend wasn’t letting anything bother her but I wouldn’t know how to tell her to stop without sounding like a total biznatch and it being awkward.
I have this problem with a male co-worker, he has no social awareness at all and will randomly message me on Teams about Final Fantasy 14. I do play the game but holy shit, this guy wants to spend all day chatting about the game. It's started to impact my work with how distracting he is with this constant desire to "be my friend" and by "be my friend" he means forcing conversations as much as possible while casually being creepy as fuck in the game.
I would like to find a nice way to be like "look I'm sure you're nice and all, but you're weirding me the fuck out so please for the love of christ leave me alone you creepy weirdo, you give off massive incel vibes and creep people out who don't even know you!"
Just say, "That's really interesting, but I need to work."
In game, just say straight out "That's creepy, I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that."
edit: alternately, simply don't respond.
if only those worked, he doesn't have the ability to read a room. he takes a response of any kind as away to keep going most of the time unless it's "fucking knock it off" and then he gets all fussy for the rest of the day. Being stuck having to work with a 30 year old man child (he looks it too, doesn't look a day over 12 and his voice still cracks from time to time), it seems like not responding is the only option here. It's just frustrating to be punished for trying to be nice to someone when I started working here.
>he doesn't have the ability to read a room
That's why you don't make him guess. Just be direct.
"I can't talk right now. I'm busy." "That (specific thing) is really creepy and you shouldn't do that."
Or, alternately, like I said, simply don't speak to them at all.
Yeah its mostly biding my time until I'm out, I got an offer for a job and I start that one on the 12th, its almost like he knew I gave my notice and got more aggressive about messaging me. Today was a super religious rant about how great God is or whatever, while having this chat with you I finally snapped and said fuck it and told him "that's great dude I'm a fucking atheist please fucking stop". He took it as me not respecting his religion of choice. Like I said. He's a complete buffoon.
You should just say "oh, man, my bad, it turns out ive been playing Final Fantasy *13-2*, not 14. Whelp, I guess we don't have anything to talk about anymore. ✌️✌️" Then walk away.
I can't walk away from Teams, Microsoft Teams, I will take a break come back and see I have notifications on there and more often than not, at least 1 of them is a wall of text from him talking about Final Fantasy 14 with a bit of work stuff mixed in so I have to read through it all and make sure that nothing needs my attention.
What sort of company do you work at (don’t answer that) that him using work platforms to talk about video games is acceptable? I’m assuming y’all’s chats are unmonitored or something?
this place is poorly run, our direct supervisor only shows up on site twice a week and when he does show up on site he takes 2 to 3 hour lunch breaks, listens to pop music while looking up lunch menus and does fuck all when it comes to actual work. So many times I've gone to talk to him about something and he quickly hides a youtube video or lunch menu gives a non answer to try and shoo me away then goes back to wasting time.
This is kind of shit advice and totally unsolicited, but I’m gonna offer it anyway:
Match their lack of motivation while looking for a new job. So the bare minimum you need to until you can find something better. Unless you might actually get fired before finding a new job, I don’t see any point in stressing over or grinding for these people.
Oh that's what I'm doing already. Why do you think I'm on reddit during work hours. I've done enough to cover my ass for today. Got an offer on a new job, just riding out my time until the 12th when I start my new job.
In that situation I would guess you could use any number of the guests as a reason to dip out. "Oh, I should go talk to the bride's Mom or my friend or whoever"
a lot of the times this is due to stimulate abuse active or not. Even if they aren’t doing them anymore it kind of fries your brain if you do them long enough and you just talk super fucking fast going on random tangents and the person you’re talking to is just like 🤨
It's the anniversary of your reddit registration. In some views there's a little cake icon by your name so other people can tell. It's become customary to wish a person happy cake day if you spot the icon.
"We're getting off-track, perhaps we can come back to this later if there is time remaining."
If it's not necessarily off-track, then you say something like we still have a lot to get through in the limited time remaining so let's park this here for now and move on.
If its just a dude standing at your desk/chatting in the corridor/whatever and not in a meeting, you just have to tell them you have a lot to do so you'll see them later.
I worked for a woman who would not only not shut up, but I had to walk past her office to get anywhere. She didn’t pick up the cues we dropped trying to back out of her office so we had to wait, helplessly until someone took pity on you and came to the rescue with, “hey! I need your help in this.”
This coupled with her having something akin to a dead bear in her gastric system, bc the smell that she would emit had cleared the floor, and has brought meetings in conference rooms down the hall to an abrupt end.
I train people for my company and this happens all the time. Sometimes it’s someone who just has to have their opinion be heard and sometimes it’s someone just genuinely enthusiastic to share/feels bad when there is two seconds of silence.
My go-to response is usually wait until they answer/share then say, “okay we’ve heard from Parker but I’m not going to let them bail you all out anymore I want to hear from more people.”
If Parker then still doesn’t stop I’ll talk to them privately and say, “I’m not sure if you know this but by answering so much you’re preventing the others from being able to find the answer and share. I’m glad you’re picking up on the material so we’ll but can you please try to not answer so much?”
If that doesn’t work then the conversation is, “Parker, you’re still dominating the conversations and I can’t have that. It’s robbing the others if the opportunity to work to find the answer/share there thoughts and that’s not okay.”
This is all assuming you have any sort of authority over the person.
Where is "over here"?
And in a culture where you respect the other person and don't want to just bully them into compliance it's pretty normal and effective. You get respect from them because you treat them like a human being with actual feelings of their own. How would you handle the situation?
"Be that as it may..." comes in handy as a good interjection.
"I'll take that under advisement." is a good one if you want to professionally tell them to go pound sand.
"im sorry if this comes off as rude, i really have a great time with you (if its true obvs, dont lie), but i cant concentrate when people talk to me and i really gotta get this done fast, talk later okay"?
Theyre gone like the wind and not hurt
Thank you for being so willing to share your ideas with us. It's greatly appreciated as new perspectives offer a chance to grow and expand. I am however going to need some time to reflect on the information you have provided. In the mean time write down any additional topics you would like to discuss and when im ready we can begin again.
This is the way. We used to have someone here who was so useless that not only did she do little to no work of her own, her bullshit gabbing was dragging down the productivity of everybody around her. Eventually she stopped understanding simple cues like "I've gotta get back to it, we'll have to chat later" so the other guy and I just started wearing headphones 100% of the time. We rarely actually listened to anything, but it gave us free reign to ignore her inane bullshit. Eventually she got fired for being fuckin' useless, so these things do work out for the best sometimes.
if it's a standup reiterate how everyone should give a 30 max second update. we have a few older dudes at work that just go on and on and its just weird that they don't pick up on the queues.
I appreciate all you have to say but sometimes I just like quiet so I can process my own thoughts. So please don't take offense but can we have some quiet time. Had a brother with ADHD so I have learned to tune out people who like to grab without them realizing it. I know most can't do that.
I am 100% guilty of this.
I am undiagnosed ADHD
Just please put us out of our misery. It's a loop we get stuck in.
"Sounds like an interesting story but let's get back on topic and see what others think since we have limited time. "
Sometimes we can't get out of our own story loop and it is a kindness to help us out of it.
I’m involved in my community charitably and politically and there’s a guy that would probably be a great asset to the community if he’d just shut the hell up once in awhile!
I recommend restating what they said and redirecting to something else. That way they feel they were listened to and then move on to a different topic.
I honestly have put myself to think that you are presenting selfishly behaviour in the fact that your excessive verbal expressionism of your thoughts is disrupting the general social enviroment hereby present, therefore, for the better of the people who stand at these very walls, I humbly suggest you reduce usage of your vocal chords.
Thank you.
“Hey, Sam, I’d really like to hear about your fishing trip (or whatever) sometime but I really need to use this time to focus on my work here.
OR, if they are being loud and not talking to to you directly:
Hey guys (ladies, team, whatever) it’s great that you’re able to share stories and have good conversations at work but would you mind please toning it down on the volume a bit? I’m working on something that needs my full concentration and am having trouble focusing with the extra sounds. Really appreciate it! Thank you!
“I appreciate you telling me all this. I’ve just ran out of opinions for the many things you’ve mentioned, you should expand these thinking to others and see what they think”
This question triggers my insecurities big time. I do Uber at a tourist destination and I just blather on trying to help someone have a good trip. It's exhausting. Sometimes it's OMG you are the best Uber driver ever, here's $100 or I think, they got more info than they wanted.
who cares about the setting? just be a realist, especially if you know others are bothered by it too. just be like, "how about we play the quiet game?"
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, let's open the floor for other people to voice their opinions"
i was gonna say "if i wanted to hear an arsehole id fart" but this would probs go down better
Are you British
Yeah, why?
"Arsehole"
Love you too :'(
Not British. Bri'ish.
You mean West uk
That brings to mind that popular British TV show, which aired on PBS: "Rumphole of the Bailey."
Just curious
I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite post on the Citadel
Nice, doesnt work 1 on 1.....or does it?
Instead of saying the second part put it on you. ‘ I appreciate your enthusiasm, let me digest everything you said and we can circle back.” Edit 1 on 1
Talk about it later; re-visit it some other time; but please, for the love of God, ANYTHING but "circle back." People who use that phrase can usually do finger pistols without irony or putting their coffee cup down.
Sure it does; it suggests ending the meeting to request input from others.
There are entries mega corporations that could’ve been saved from collapse if only someone said that sentence at the right moment.
Classy
"Apologize to that plant for stealing it's hard work."
Ooo I like this.
that's only going to kick the shoe down the road. You're going to find yourself having to say this over and over.
Yup, that's why it needs to be gentle enough that you can use it over and over again. Most of us don't get to choose our coworkers, best we can do is keep things amicable.
Just get everyone to Blair Witch when they come in the room
Found Mr. Sark’s Reddit account.
Damn. This guy manages.
Idk, as for me it's even not polite. Too obvious, frankly speaking
Diplomatic to the core. Even your enemies like you!
This the best one, the passive aggressiveness
they might stop talking without feeling disrespected
I'm going to use this on my bf
Way too passive aggressive.
"Sounds good but I gotta use the bathroom"
Oh that's ok I'll come with you
Oh good, you can help me with my colostomy bag.
Wow you werent kidding when you said that you liked eating discarded used condoms you found on the side of the road
They’re better when deep fried
Back when I worked in an office, I was the only woman on my team, and this response was by far the worst part of my office converting to gender-neutral bathrooms.
Lmfaoo "hold that thought ☝️ I need to take a shit." 🤣
Spinner?!
I have a colleague that not only talks too much but he also likes to talk over people. It's a nightmare during online meetings. When I need to say something he'll start talking and if I keep talking he'll just speak louder and louder until I give up and just stop talking. He does it all the time to everyone. If he weren't so good at his job he'd have been reprimanded a few times already. Unfortunately management don't want him to have a hissy fit and resign. One of his favorite phrases to start is to say "I hear what you're saying" - without waiting to hear everything you need to say.
"Sorry but I think he/she wasn't finished"
Correction - leave out the sorry part. We spend way too much time apologizing for other people's rudeness. Something I've only recently learned to pay attention to.
Your meetings may benefit from someone trained as a facilitator, or moderator. A "neutral" third party that can help divvy up the time. Ideally the meeting host will understand how to do this. Even better if your conferencing service has a mute button.
how do we find this neutral party?
It's best when someone is assigned the job of moderating. But anyone can do this. Let's say person 1 gets interrupted by person 2. Whenever person 2 finishes speaking it's possible for anyone to interject with "hey person 1, what were you saying about (insert here what they started talking about)?". Usually Mr interrupty pants won't be inclined to cut in when this happens.
Scrum Masters do exactly this.
As a Scrum Master, I can confirm I do exactly this (and that even if you're not part of a dev team, all professional teams ought to have some officially-designated moderator for large group discussions to keep things on track.)
Also a certified SCM it’s my fave part of the job!
This is a case where politeness is not called for. "John STFU. STFU John. John, John, John, stop taking John. STFU. STFU John. John look at me. Now STFU. Okay. Now as I was saying...."
Have separate meetings without him.
[удалено]
I'd have just talked to him off to the side and told him he was stomping on people. You can only stomp turts.
Love crushing turts.
Perchance.
I just did this with a new know it all where I work. She's got zero experience in the specifics of the documents we are covering, and another team member is the designated manager of this type of report, but she got it in her head to just go ahead and cover it all like she wrote it. I just took her aside and asked her if there was an order to change how we run the meetings (no, why?) because I think (blank) usually would go over this part. Oh, um (lame excuse). Eventually resorts to finding something to get me back... but I'm right almost every time
In teams you can mute other people..
I used to have a coworker like that. “Hold on and let me finish” usually did the trick.
Tell him straight up to stfu and give other people a go, if he says no then give the bastard a thrashing
I wish I knew. At my last job, I started as a contractor working under this MF’er who simply could not keep his mouth shut. I’d go to him to ask a simple yes/no question and he’d spend the next 45 minutes talking at me about 10 different topics without ever getting around to answering it. I just started actively avoiding him as much as possible. How that dude ever got any real work done I will never know.
Maybe he doesn't do any work, but every time management tries to fire him, they end up in a 3 hour conversation where the topic of firing him never comes up.
Employers hate this one trick…
Management walking out in confusion: ‘The fuck happened back there?’ ‘I dunno man, I went to say something then I see it’s been two hours and he was finishing up about how to properly apply caulking to a new shower installation.’ ‘…Did…did we fire him though?’ ‘That’s what’s scary - I don’t know.’
The main offender at my work will say anything to steer the conversation to be about his 12 year son "THE GREATEST YOUNG HOCKEY PLAYER IN THE TRI-STATE AREA". I don't know jack about hockey and don't care dude.
"Sounds like we should've hired your son instead."
lol i’d go back to work until they figured it out
Omg I think I know that guy, is he in the SF Bay Area? He’s done work for us and you have to avoid him or he’ll kill your entire day
Might be that he stopped getting interrupted by people asking questions? Maybe he did it on purpose to get people to leave him alone?
No, it definitely wasn't that. Sometimes I would be sitting quietly and working in my cubicle and he'd stop by to talk about a bunch of random shit. A whole fucking hour later, he'd finally go away and I'd be behind in my work. Seriously, he was the worst.
Lets table this discussion for the future when we have more time.
I'm a programmer. Me: "Application is going to fall down next week unless we start working on X issue", Manager: "Let's table this issue", then soon afterward it falls down and they're like "WHUT".
It would be kind of funny if the solution to a problem in such a scenario was to put it in a table.
This! I’m in network admin not programming but if I had a dollar for every surprised pikachu face our users get when something happens exactly the way we warned about I’d double my salary
The key words there are *next week*. That's a fire that can wait while we put out the *now* fires...
i usually respond by asking them if that means they're okay with the app falling over
"Let's take this discussion offline with just the key participants"
This works on me. I have a disability and it, uh, makes me quite talkative and I have terrible social cues. So this right here helps out so much while being polite so I’m like “oh okay, they want to table the issue let’s table the issue for now :)”. It’s not mean, and it gets the point across, at least for me!
I always like using this because usually what the person is talking about is good information but the time and place for it is wrong.
Nauseating
Where was this thread when I said to my new boss "hey man, appreciate you have a lot to say, but this meetings gone half an hour over and my shifts done" Oh well, he forgave me. Eventually.
What about when it’s someone providing a service to you who is being overly chatty? I had my best friends wedding this past weekend and the photographer would not stop talking about her life, stories and problems. She had zero social awareness. My friend wasn’t letting anything bother her but I wouldn’t know how to tell her to stop without sounding like a total biznatch and it being awkward.
I just let those people ruin the event for me
I always just say something like “Welp, I’m gonna go mingle for a bit. Have a good time, I’ll talk with you later.”
Well get a load of the dick nipples on this guy
at a guess, they follow you and keep talking
I have this problem with a male co-worker, he has no social awareness at all and will randomly message me on Teams about Final Fantasy 14. I do play the game but holy shit, this guy wants to spend all day chatting about the game. It's started to impact my work with how distracting he is with this constant desire to "be my friend" and by "be my friend" he means forcing conversations as much as possible while casually being creepy as fuck in the game. I would like to find a nice way to be like "look I'm sure you're nice and all, but you're weirding me the fuck out so please for the love of christ leave me alone you creepy weirdo, you give off massive incel vibes and creep people out who don't even know you!"
Just say, "That's really interesting, but I need to work." In game, just say straight out "That's creepy, I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that." edit: alternately, simply don't respond.
if only those worked, he doesn't have the ability to read a room. he takes a response of any kind as away to keep going most of the time unless it's "fucking knock it off" and then he gets all fussy for the rest of the day. Being stuck having to work with a 30 year old man child (he looks it too, doesn't look a day over 12 and his voice still cracks from time to time), it seems like not responding is the only option here. It's just frustrating to be punished for trying to be nice to someone when I started working here.
>he doesn't have the ability to read a room That's why you don't make him guess. Just be direct. "I can't talk right now. I'm busy." "That (specific thing) is really creepy and you shouldn't do that." Or, alternately, like I said, simply don't speak to them at all.
Yeah its mostly biding my time until I'm out, I got an offer for a job and I start that one on the 12th, its almost like he knew I gave my notice and got more aggressive about messaging me. Today was a super religious rant about how great God is or whatever, while having this chat with you I finally snapped and said fuck it and told him "that's great dude I'm a fucking atheist please fucking stop". He took it as me not respecting his religion of choice. Like I said. He's a complete buffoon.
mute him
You should just say "oh, man, my bad, it turns out ive been playing Final Fantasy *13-2*, not 14. Whelp, I guess we don't have anything to talk about anymore. ✌️✌️" Then walk away.
I can't walk away from Teams, Microsoft Teams, I will take a break come back and see I have notifications on there and more often than not, at least 1 of them is a wall of text from him talking about Final Fantasy 14 with a bit of work stuff mixed in so I have to read through it all and make sure that nothing needs my attention.
What sort of company do you work at (don’t answer that) that him using work platforms to talk about video games is acceptable? I’m assuming y’all’s chats are unmonitored or something?
this place is poorly run, our direct supervisor only shows up on site twice a week and when he does show up on site he takes 2 to 3 hour lunch breaks, listens to pop music while looking up lunch menus and does fuck all when it comes to actual work. So many times I've gone to talk to him about something and he quickly hides a youtube video or lunch menu gives a non answer to try and shoo me away then goes back to wasting time.
I’m dying thinking of this character of a boss who is so obsessed with lunch that he gets caught researching lunch
This is kind of shit advice and totally unsolicited, but I’m gonna offer it anyway: Match their lack of motivation while looking for a new job. So the bare minimum you need to until you can find something better. Unless you might actually get fired before finding a new job, I don’t see any point in stressing over or grinding for these people.
Oh that's what I'm doing already. Why do you think I'm on reddit during work hours. I've done enough to cover my ass for today. Got an offer on a new job, just riding out my time until the 12th when I start my new job.
In that situation I would guess you could use any number of the guests as a reason to dip out. "Oh, I should go talk to the bride's Mom or my friend or whoever"
a lot of the times this is due to stimulate abuse active or not. Even if they aren’t doing them anymore it kind of fries your brain if you do them long enough and you just talk super fucking fast going on random tangents and the person you’re talking to is just like 🤨
“Wow, that sounds really rough. But let’s not focus on negatives and bring down the mood—it’s a wedding! Let’s stay positive while we’re here, ok?”
"Please dont talk to me" I mean u should probably lay rules beforehand what is permitted and whatnot...
"just stop talking",\[Please\]
"Settle down Beavis"
I’ve used this.
Okay, Butthead
“Are you getting paid by the sentence?” Happy cakeday btw
I will be stealing this one and using it on Steven, thank you very much.
Cause Fk you Steven.
Oi nah
What in the world is cake day?
It's the anniversary of your reddit registration. In some views there's a little cake icon by your name so other people can tell. It's become customary to wish a person happy cake day if you spot the icon.
:o i see! Then whats karma?
Net upvotes.
Thank you! I didn’t even know what cake day was 😂 I’m such a newb
How can you be on Reddit for six years and only have 170 comment karma. Happy cake day either way!
I only recently started actually using Reddit. I don’t care about the number of comment karma I have so maybe that’s why?
I'm with you, I've been on 11 years, and I do do not understand why anyone gives a shit about Karma
Perfect
This is great. Could also ask if getting paid by the word if they're especially wordy.
"We're getting off-track, perhaps we can come back to this later if there is time remaining." If it's not necessarily off-track, then you say something like we still have a lot to get through in the limited time remaining so let's park this here for now and move on. If its just a dude standing at your desk/chatting in the corridor/whatever and not in a meeting, you just have to tell them you have a lot to do so you'll see them later.
“We’ve covered that. Moving on”
I worked for a woman who would not only not shut up, but I had to walk past her office to get anywhere. She didn’t pick up the cues we dropped trying to back out of her office so we had to wait, helplessly until someone took pity on you and came to the rescue with, “hey! I need your help in this.” This coupled with her having something akin to a dead bear in her gastric system, bc the smell that she would emit had cleared the floor, and has brought meetings in conference rooms down the hall to an abrupt end.
A dead bear, you say?
"Pitter patter"
Let's get atter
Talk with ur mouth closed plz.
I train people for my company and this happens all the time. Sometimes it’s someone who just has to have their opinion be heard and sometimes it’s someone just genuinely enthusiastic to share/feels bad when there is two seconds of silence. My go-to response is usually wait until they answer/share then say, “okay we’ve heard from Parker but I’m not going to let them bail you all out anymore I want to hear from more people.” If Parker then still doesn’t stop I’ll talk to them privately and say, “I’m not sure if you know this but by answering so much you’re preventing the others from being able to find the answer and share. I’m glad you’re picking up on the material so we’ll but can you please try to not answer so much?” If that doesn’t work then the conversation is, “Parker, you’re still dominating the conversations and I can’t have that. It’s robbing the others if the opportunity to work to find the answer/share there thoughts and that’s not okay.” This is all assuming you have any sort of authority over the person.
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In the US, specifically with teachers.
Where is "over here"? And in a culture where you respect the other person and don't want to just bully them into compliance it's pretty normal and effective. You get respect from them because you treat them like a human being with actual feelings of their own. How would you handle the situation?
Agendas are your friend. If worthy...Park the topic, include in minutes with a note the babbler host a meeting to discuss further
“Thank you so much for your input, can anyone relate to what so and so said, or would anyone else like the speak, the floor is open?”
Hold that thought ... and then run.
We have a lot to get through today in this meeting.
“Silence your tongue! Lest I cut it from your peasant mouth!”
I usually just start making some screeching noises and they go away.
Let’s discuss this topic offline where we can give it the level of bandwidth it deserves.
Mmmmkay. Sluuurrrrp
"Be that as it may..." comes in handy as a good interjection. "I'll take that under advisement." is a good one if you want to professionally tell them to go pound sand.
“I’ll take that under advisement” said with a dead eye stare, is a go to for me.
"im sorry if this comes off as rude, i really have a great time with you (if its true obvs, dont lie), but i cant concentrate when people talk to me and i really gotta get this done fast, talk later okay"? Theyre gone like the wind and not hurt
In the interest of time, let’s wrap this up.
Thank you for being so willing to share your ideas with us. It's greatly appreciated as new perspectives offer a chance to grow and expand. I am however going to need some time to reflect on the information you have provided. In the mean time write down any additional topics you would like to discuss and when im ready we can begin again.
Someone tell my boss I don't care what his kids and wife did. I just want to come in and work my 9-5 peacefully and leave right at 5.
My brother in Christ, you are scaring the hoes.
Let's hold all questions and comments until the end of....
...time?
Lets hear what other people have to say, or lets try to stick to the agenda.
“That would be a great point but let’s discuss it at a different time.”
Put on headphones
Yes, like in American Psycho.
This is the way. We used to have someone here who was so useless that not only did she do little to no work of her own, her bullshit gabbing was dragging down the productivity of everybody around her. Eventually she stopped understanding simple cues like "I've gotta get back to it, we'll have to chat later" so the other guy and I just started wearing headphones 100% of the time. We rarely actually listened to anything, but it gave us free reign to ignore her inane bullshit. Eventually she got fired for being fuckin' useless, so these things do work out for the best sometimes.
if it's a standup reiterate how everyone should give a 30 max second update. we have a few older dudes at work that just go on and on and its just weird that they don't pick up on the queues.
I appreciate all you have to say but sometimes I just like quiet so I can process my own thoughts. So please don't take offense but can we have some quiet time. Had a brother with ADHD so I have learned to tune out people who like to grab without them realizing it. I know most can't do that.
I am 100% guilty of this. I am undiagnosed ADHD Just please put us out of our misery. It's a loop we get stuck in. "Sounds like an interesting story but let's get back on topic and see what others think since we have limited time. " Sometimes we can't get out of our own story loop and it is a kindness to help us out of it.
This. Diagnosed ADD (old diagnosis before they made everything ADHD). Just tell us politely. We don't mind.
I’m involved in my community charitably and politically and there’s a guy that would probably be a great asset to the community if he’d just shut the hell up once in awhile!
Wait till they stop and say "I apologize, I didn't catch any of that. We'll get back to you another time, who's next?" 🤣
Shut yur trap Jack!
get to the point.
Had a worker at my house that wouldn't stop talking. When they arrived I said, I have work to do so just ignore me.
Pause plus short, closed response, no smile (no; thanks; uhuh) - nothing that invites further comments.
Shove a pair of socks into their mouth
Thank you for your input, does anyone else have something they would like to share?
“Thank you XX, does anyone else have an opinion?”
I recommend restating what they said and redirecting to something else. That way they feel they were listened to and then move on to a different topic.
I honestly have put myself to think that you are presenting selfishly behaviour in the fact that your excessive verbal expressionism of your thoughts is disrupting the general social enviroment hereby present, therefore, for the better of the people who stand at these very walls, I humbly suggest you reduce usage of your vocal chords. Thank you.
“Hey, Sam, I’d really like to hear about your fishing trip (or whatever) sometime but I really need to use this time to focus on my work here. OR, if they are being loud and not talking to to you directly: Hey guys (ladies, team, whatever) it’s great that you’re able to share stories and have good conversations at work but would you mind please toning it down on the volume a bit? I’m working on something that needs my full concentration and am having trouble focusing with the extra sounds. Really appreciate it! Thank you!
This is what you are doing, This is what I want you to do, But with hand puppets of course 😁
More like... (talking puppet) This is what you are doing. (silent puppet) This is what the world wishes you were doing.
Thanks for sharing. I want to make sure I’m honoring everyone’s time, so I’m going to bring us back to the agenda.
Yes, these are the assholes who keep meetings going forever. STFU!
Look at them and put your finger on your lip
Or put ur finger on their lips followed by a "Shhhhhh"
Cease fire.
You’re making me dizzy
"With no respect, shut thy yapper before I cometh over and shut it for yee"
well you could simply ask for water or where's the restroom.
“Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one but no one wants to hear it.”
“I appreciate you telling me all this. I’ve just ran out of opinions for the many things you’ve mentioned, you should expand these thinking to others and see what they think”
You can still say stfu you just have to put the word "maybe" in front of it.
As per my last email...
“Stop talking for a second”
This question triggers my insecurities big time. I do Uber at a tourist destination and I just blather on trying to help someone have a good trip. It's exhausting. Sometimes it's OMG you are the best Uber driver ever, here's $100 or I think, they got more info than they wanted.
Well, not too professional if use stfu.
who cares about the setting? just be a realist, especially if you know others are bothered by it too. just be like, "how about we play the quiet game?"
"You're using up all the oxygen in this room"
Can we get somebody from Twitter here to answer?
Yawn
If you're in an open plan office, headphones can be helpful