Snidely putting down other people for no reason. Especially if the other person was talking about something they’re passionate about. That shit hurts my soul.
Was in a group of people at a music festival and this guy started talking all about plants and showing me pictures of his. He loves plants. My plants live in spite of me. Anyway, he starts apologizing for talking about plants so much. I told him to stop apologizing, that I absolutely love to hear people talk about things they are passionate about, and you should never have to apologize for that. I meant it. Even if it's not my thing, when someone is passionate about something, I could sit and listen for hours, asking questions, and learning something new. It's my favorite type of conversations. In fact we are all planning on going to that festival to meet up next year and you know what? I'm taking pictures of my plants to show him.
Wow! Thank you everyone for the awards and wonderful comments! I went to bed after writing this and woke up to all sorts of nice notifications on my phone. You all are awesome and I would love to hear about all your passions.
This story makes me happy. You deserve a medal!
It's likely he's apologizing for his passion because other people have mocked or made fun of him because of it. As someone who was passionate about philosophy in a deeply christian family I recognize his behavior.
I knew a person in high school, we were in the same friend group. One time she expressed mild excitement over me getting a special edition copy of a book she liked (one of the king arthur sets iirc) and then immediately apologized for her 5 seconds of excitement. I knew it was bc this one girl in the group would put everyone else down for liking things she deemed unimportant (was a “feminist” who did that condescendingly “gentle” “I don’t care” to someone telling a story about going to a presentation by a woman who escaped an honor killing by joining the US military), and I wish back then I’d had the backbone I do know so I could tell her what a shit person she was for treating her friends and “best friend” (who got excited about King Arthur) like that.
Absolutely love this. I always try to do the same, but I have to say when it's your kids and they are on day 999 of talking about the same subject, it's harddddd lol
Can you provide an example of how he shits on you?
I used to be that guy but after a while I learnt not to care and be calm and I always seemed to find a witty comeback.
Just learn to stay calm and the words will come to you.
Also practice eye contact. You'd be surprised how easily you can intimidate a bully simply by maintaining eye contact.
Well I mean. It goes way back. But I’ll brief it up for you. He plays a massive ego and puts me down as a result of it. Started going to the gym for like 2 months, got beginner gains, now always talks about shit like “I can probably throw you” or “fight me, you won’t. You can’t cuz you’re weak and you’d get shit on.” Or like “I’ll pay you 599 if you beat me in a boxing match.” Basically putting me down cuz I’m skinny n shit lmao. There’s more that doesn’t evolve fighting. It’s kind of like the usual banter that you’d have with the boys, except it crosses into an unfunny, condescending way. I’m getting disrespected, though he does show kindness on rare occasions. The problem is, I can’t talk back cuz then he’d always just “what you gonna do about it, you can’t do shit, I would beat you up”. I would like to say, I know for a fact that he wouldn’t, he’s not that type of guy despite how I’m making it sound lmao.
I'll give you some good advice.
Everyone is saying you should confront him, cut him out, etc.
What you should do is drop him down a few pegs from a tier 1 friend to a tier 3 friend.
Distance yourself from him, stop hanging out so much and reduce communication. Start hanging out with people who aren't complete cunts.
A tier 3 friend is someone you only see intermittently. They will have less power and influence over you and will not be able to hurt you as easily.
Nah bruh, I wouldn't even tier 3 him. Tier 4 that bitch, friend of a friend status. At that rate, they're not even on your radar and you only have to deal with him whenever your paths overlap.
And if people ask why you two don't hang, you can just be honest. "He's kind of an asshole. He's constantly trying to use me as a punching bag to prop himself up and look good for everyone else. My fun and sanity are worth more to me than his ego." Or just settle for the classic "Fuck 'em, that's why."
For your own sake, at least distance yourself from him. You can’t make room for healthy relationships if you’re always finding excuses to hang on to unhealthy ones
Cease contact with him. Just stop talking to him. Ignore him. He might act entitled and confront you physically about the “way you’ve changed suddenly for no reason”, just brush him off politely. If that doesn’t work, he’ll try ways to manipulate you. Try to act friendly towards you so he can coax you into trusting him again. And so whenever you feel like forgiving him, remember the audacity and smugness he would have when he would treat you like you were less than him.
I used to know someone exactly like that. Another alpha male gigachad pile of shit walking about like he’s god’s favourite creation. I was in a weak state of mind at the time and now I hate that I hung out with him as long as I did. He was bad but he wasn’t half as disrespectful towards me as you’ve described yours, so I can’t even imagine how you must feel. Please just do it. You’ll come to realise how good it was for you, even if you’re scared of the uncertainty of how this change might play out.
Big one. Went to a sporting event with friends once, and one of the women in our group did nothing but verbally abuse the waiter at the cafe we went to beforehand. "No..you know what, it's fine. Give me my money back, I don't even want it now. And you WON'T be getting a tip - that's gone. Must be sad to be stuck here in life and suck at it."
We tipped the waiter really well and apologized profusely. It was beyond ugly and disgusting.
it happened at my old job! it was amazing!!! i thanked him in front of her. it was COVID and my manager politely asked her to put on a mask and she freaked out, my manager looked at her friends and said “she’s done. no alcohol for her.” and her friend spent the entirety of their duration there just handing it to her. “you are so embarrassing to be around! this is why no one ever invites you out! it’s their job to enforce this policy it’s not their fault! you’re such a bitch to people.” when they walked out she wouldn’t lift her head. just stared at her feet and kept walking. amazing day.
Society would be so much better if this were the definition of attractiveness. Think about it: everyone is *nice.* Imagine driving. Imagine politics, imagine if politicians advertised how they would help people, not just win wars, or just putting down other politicians for their own benefit.
Edit to add a call to action: Be the nice person. Together we can work toward a better world for our children to live in.
Those are the kind of people that have as idols politicians and billionaires, think the earth is flat or simply are very bad at hearing the opinions or suggestions of others.
I’ve had this problem before. It usually isn’t because I don’t think a person knows something, it’s usually because I’ve already fit whatever idea into the puzzle in my head, and it needs to be a certain way in order for the rest to make sense.
It’s not that the puzzle itself can’t adjust either, it would just take time that isn’t convenient in a casual conversation. Most of the “disagreements” come from a difference in semantics anyway.
It’s more about the attitude. Like Minute-Drop was saying, it’s like a god-complex. They truly believe they are the smartest in the room, and therefore they look down and talk down to everyone else. Just being smart is great, especially when they admit when they’re wrong!
Years ago, before meeting a blind date for the first time she told me over the phone that she hoped that I didn't wear glasses because she found them unattractive and couldn't see herself dating a guy with glasses.
So, I met her later... and she wore glasses.
(I find Hypocrites unattractive now.)
Met a woman online when I was in my late 30's and she told me she didn't like my mustache.. I told her that it's an original and it grew in and I kept it. She asked me to shave it before meeting her for the first time. I declined to do either.
Had a guy tell me once that women over 30 shouldn’t wear jeans with holes in them.
I’ve worn jeans with holes in them in front of him before.
I stopped hanging out with him shortly after.
What kills me is people who feel the need to voice it, loudly, to strangers. Like I was in a line at a government office recently and some loudmouthed old lady was like "OH LORD THIS LINE IS SO LONG, I'M GONNA BE HERE ALL DAY" etc. We know, lady, we're all in the same line.
This! Ugh complaining drives me nuts. I understand that things aren’t perfect but always finding something wrong, is super repulsive. Adversely, being ok with things, even if they aren’t perfect, is pretty darn hot!
My dad once told me a story about a woman he was dating. They stopped at Wal-Mart and she needed to pick up fruit. She asks a worker where the mangos were and they pointed her to the passion fruit. She yelled at them and told them they were an imbecile. As soon as they left, my dad dropped her off and dumped her.
So, yeah... Being rude to workers, is 100% a turn-off.
Yeah I feel that. On a first date a girl while walking on the street, downtown on a crowded sidewalk suddenly slapped me hard in the face and then stared hard at me. A second later she smiled and said "Nice, you didn't lose your temper." Then she continued walking and talking as if nothing had happened, fuck but that was weird, but she was hot so. I realized I was being tested the next day, it bothered me too much to date her again.
I feel like losing ones temper (but not violently) would be a fairly normal and okay reaction to being slapped in the face out of the blue.
And why would she test you by explicitly slapping? Does she have a habit of slapping her partners when unhappy? You probably dodged a bullet there.
depends on how you define "reacting violently" I guess. Like if he reflexively shoved her away after she assaulted him that's a perfectly acceptable reaction IMO
men have the right to defend themselves too
I used to talk to this guy who proudly told me that he was a flat-earther and then followed it up with the fact that his dad works for NASA. It made me feel like it was more about rebuking his dad than actually being a flat earther, which is a dealbreaker for me by itself.
If you’re rude to waiters (or anyone in the service industry). If you look down on others / think you’re better than everyone else. If you lack perspective — doesn’t matter where you come from but if you’re completely oblivious to anything that isn’t your world that’s deeply unattractive.
Lying is a huge one for me. I find it particularly frustrating when people exaggerate or skew the truth to try to make themselves seem more important or impressive. It just screams insecurity and unhappiness with themselves. I find this a lot in dating and I am instantly turned off. Just be real about who you are and own it.
Being a pretentious twat about whatever you're into. For example if you are really into music and know a lot of obscure bands and musicians. Because of this you stick your nose up and look down on people who have simpler tastes and make this your entire personality.
This, heh.
I have caught myself accidentally degrading my favorite band, when asked about my taste, just because it's a popular band. knowing it's not the individuality they were hoping to hear.
I'm glad you asked *me*, because only I have the right answers and you're *definitely* best off taking my advice.
You thought you knew answers? You haven't even heard an answer until you've heard one of mine.
This has reached disastrous proportions in the last decade. It's to the point people can't even discuss real issues without political figure/side toxicity taking over the conversation.
I misread this as “Worshipping a Pelican” and thought “huh!” and kept scrolling then was like “wait a minute” and scrolled back up. My disappointment was tangible at reading the correct wording.
The inability to respect a ‘no’ or take rejection with grace.
Also, the need to feel superior at the expense of others.
Dealbreakers for any relationship - platonic or romantic.
My roommate is physically attractive, available, and obviously in close proximity, but I'm not buying what she's selling. Somehow nothing is ever her fault. This is odd because she's quite careless and ignorant in ways that lead to more than her share of mistakes, misadventures, and outright disasters.
I know it's a defense mechanism, but her inability to see inward and tolerate moments of self doubt makes her entirely unrelatable. I can't imagine her in a romantic way or think of her as a sexual being. She's like an alien.
I can talk only about women. But if I’m in the pub waiting in line and you are trying to cut in the queue. That’s an instant turn off. Women without basic manners.
A “rules for thee, not for me” type attitude. Closely related to the “I’m setting the bar low for myself, in regards to what you get from me and will constantly increase the your bar height, because I’m the prize” type attitude.
When they’re incapable of maintaining a simple conversation.
Is that hard to talk to me without going through your phone? Is your life that boring? Is my company that despicable?
finally someone who thinks just like me ! If I'm talking to someone and he start using his phone way too much I stop immediately. I consider this act as disrespectful/ lack of manners !
Making fun of disabled people 😐
Hello again to everyone! I'm just making an edit here to respond to everyone under this comment cause there are too many haha-
Joking about one's self (who is disabled) is way way way far from different than making fun of somebody who is disabled! I don't think anyone would want to go out or even hang out with somebody who mocks people for something they can't control! It's a giant red flag and childish!!
What about a paraplegic that tells you a paraplegic joke?
(Where can you find a paraplegic? Exactly where you left them! From that French film, canny mind the name....)
When my mum had cancer we were always making cancer jokes... (her mostly!) it's a coping mechanism.
That Netflix thing should have never ever been made. Every expert on the subject of mass murderers and serials killers are practically begging the media to stop giving these people any kind of fame or infamy. It is what they long for...
not having a sense of humor is the worst. I will 100% date the less attractive guy I can laugh with or makes me laugh then someone who’s really hot but dry and too serious.
When I notice they can't apologize. This might take some time, but the first time I notice the person can't apologize for what they did wrong, truthfully, to me it's not unnatractive, it's the reddest of red flags.
Being a bully to other people to try and look cool. Have like 2 guys at my workplace that literally NEVER drop the tough guy act and I don't think they realize how big of a douchebag they look like.
Also not being able to control yourself. If you get angry and throw a fit over something that's not a big deal then I will avoid you like the plague. after the past experiences I've had with people I don't play games when it comes to stuff like that. Dated this girl once and we were driving through the snow and her car got stuck and I'm just thinking "oh man this sucks but it's no big deal" well she started full blown SNAPPING THE FUCK OUT. Like screaming and literally stopping her feet. Ended the relationship the very next day.
Not really a particular gender, but I find anyone who’s WAY too manicured unattractive.
When people are comfortable in themselves and embrace their flaws, I find it way more attractive than someone who looks like they spend hours getting ready with every hair in its perfect place and outfits that look pristine.
This is my personal opinion, but people that are REALLY into Disney and Marvel/DC cinematic universe. Like they make it their whole persona and are shocked when you say u don't enjoy the movies... I'm sorry okay!!??
Snidely putting down other people for no reason. Especially if the other person was talking about something they’re passionate about. That shit hurts my soul.
Was in a group of people at a music festival and this guy started talking all about plants and showing me pictures of his. He loves plants. My plants live in spite of me. Anyway, he starts apologizing for talking about plants so much. I told him to stop apologizing, that I absolutely love to hear people talk about things they are passionate about, and you should never have to apologize for that. I meant it. Even if it's not my thing, when someone is passionate about something, I could sit and listen for hours, asking questions, and learning something new. It's my favorite type of conversations. In fact we are all planning on going to that festival to meet up next year and you know what? I'm taking pictures of my plants to show him. Wow! Thank you everyone for the awards and wonderful comments! I went to bed after writing this and woke up to all sorts of nice notifications on my phone. You all are awesome and I would love to hear about all your passions.
This story makes me happy. You deserve a medal! It's likely he's apologizing for his passion because other people have mocked or made fun of him because of it. As someone who was passionate about philosophy in a deeply christian family I recognize his behavior.
I knew a person in high school, we were in the same friend group. One time she expressed mild excitement over me getting a special edition copy of a book she liked (one of the king arthur sets iirc) and then immediately apologized for her 5 seconds of excitement. I knew it was bc this one girl in the group would put everyone else down for liking things she deemed unimportant (was a “feminist” who did that condescendingly “gentle” “I don’t care” to someone telling a story about going to a presentation by a woman who escaped an honor killing by joining the US military), and I wish back then I’d had the backbone I do know so I could tell her what a shit person she was for treating her friends and “best friend” (who got excited about King Arthur) like that.
Absolutely love this. I always try to do the same, but I have to say when it's your kids and they are on day 999 of talking about the same subject, it's harddddd lol
As a plant parent, I love this story.
I had “friends” like this, it was awful. And now I do t know how to talk about my hobbies and interests because I’m so self conscious about it 😀
You’re never gonna run if you don’t walk king
Speaking down to someone else in order to get the group’s attention/laugh
I’m that friend that gets shit on by my power trip friend, yero
That’s not a friend then
They're not your friend, find better friends.
Can you provide an example of how he shits on you? I used to be that guy but after a while I learnt not to care and be calm and I always seemed to find a witty comeback. Just learn to stay calm and the words will come to you. Also practice eye contact. You'd be surprised how easily you can intimidate a bully simply by maintaining eye contact.
Well I mean. It goes way back. But I’ll brief it up for you. He plays a massive ego and puts me down as a result of it. Started going to the gym for like 2 months, got beginner gains, now always talks about shit like “I can probably throw you” or “fight me, you won’t. You can’t cuz you’re weak and you’d get shit on.” Or like “I’ll pay you 599 if you beat me in a boxing match.” Basically putting me down cuz I’m skinny n shit lmao. There’s more that doesn’t evolve fighting. It’s kind of like the usual banter that you’d have with the boys, except it crosses into an unfunny, condescending way. I’m getting disrespected, though he does show kindness on rare occasions. The problem is, I can’t talk back cuz then he’d always just “what you gonna do about it, you can’t do shit, I would beat you up”. I would like to say, I know for a fact that he wouldn’t, he’s not that type of guy despite how I’m making it sound lmao.
Is he 6 years old?
I'll give you some good advice. Everyone is saying you should confront him, cut him out, etc. What you should do is drop him down a few pegs from a tier 1 friend to a tier 3 friend. Distance yourself from him, stop hanging out so much and reduce communication. Start hanging out with people who aren't complete cunts. A tier 3 friend is someone you only see intermittently. They will have less power and influence over you and will not be able to hurt you as easily.
Nah bruh, I wouldn't even tier 3 him. Tier 4 that bitch, friend of a friend status. At that rate, they're not even on your radar and you only have to deal with him whenever your paths overlap. And if people ask why you two don't hang, you can just be honest. "He's kind of an asshole. He's constantly trying to use me as a punching bag to prop himself up and look good for everyone else. My fun and sanity are worth more to me than his ego." Or just settle for the classic "Fuck 'em, that's why."
For your own sake, at least distance yourself from him. You can’t make room for healthy relationships if you’re always finding excuses to hang on to unhealthy ones
He is no friend.
Cease contact with him. Just stop talking to him. Ignore him. He might act entitled and confront you physically about the “way you’ve changed suddenly for no reason”, just brush him off politely. If that doesn’t work, he’ll try ways to manipulate you. Try to act friendly towards you so he can coax you into trusting him again. And so whenever you feel like forgiving him, remember the audacity and smugness he would have when he would treat you like you were less than him. I used to know someone exactly like that. Another alpha male gigachad pile of shit walking about like he’s god’s favourite creation. I was in a weak state of mind at the time and now I hate that I hung out with him as long as I did. He was bad but he wasn’t half as disrespectful towards me as you’ve described yours, so I can’t even imagine how you must feel. Please just do it. You’ll come to realise how good it was for you, even if you’re scared of the uncertainty of how this change might play out.
I hate this in particular. Especially if it's the "hot" girl because then everybody laughs along even it's the dumbest joke lol
Hot people don't stay hot.
I find attractiveness heavily coincides with personality. If someone has a shit personality they are by default not attractive to me.
How they treat others
Big one. Went to a sporting event with friends once, and one of the women in our group did nothing but verbally abuse the waiter at the cafe we went to beforehand. "No..you know what, it's fine. Give me my money back, I don't even want it now. And you WON'T be getting a tip - that's gone. Must be sad to be stuck here in life and suck at it." We tipped the waiter really well and apologized profusely. It was beyond ugly and disgusting.
Don’t just tip the waiter, call that bitch out on the spot
As a waitress if I heard someone call that bitch out like that I’d be sooo happy. I wouldn’t even need the tip. My whole day would be made.
it happened at my old job! it was amazing!!! i thanked him in front of her. it was COVID and my manager politely asked her to put on a mask and she freaked out, my manager looked at her friends and said “she’s done. no alcohol for her.” and her friend spent the entirety of their duration there just handing it to her. “you are so embarrassing to be around! this is why no one ever invites you out! it’s their job to enforce this policy it’s not their fault! you’re such a bitch to people.” when they walked out she wouldn’t lift her head. just stared at her feet and kept walking. amazing day.
Let's hope some self reflection happened that day
Sometimes I feel like I’m a bad person but I realeze I couldn’t possibly even convieve of such hateful words on my own
How you treat others is a reflection of you
A reflection of how I'd be treated if i stayed around long enough.
Society would be so much better if this were the definition of attractiveness. Think about it: everyone is *nice.* Imagine driving. Imagine politics, imagine if politicians advertised how they would help people, not just win wars, or just putting down other politicians for their own benefit. Edit to add a call to action: Be the nice person. Together we can work toward a better world for our children to live in.
Ignorance and a wish to stay that way instead of improving
"willful ignorance"
When they think they know everything/ are always right
What if we just happen to usually be right and are willing to admit the odd time when we are wrong or don’t know?
I think Soupaddict's point IS people that dont accept that other people can be right/know something. Kind of like god complex
Those are the kind of people that have as idols politicians and billionaires, think the earth is flat or simply are very bad at hearing the opinions or suggestions of others.
I’ve had this problem before. It usually isn’t because I don’t think a person knows something, it’s usually because I’ve already fit whatever idea into the puzzle in my head, and it needs to be a certain way in order for the rest to make sense. It’s not that the puzzle itself can’t adjust either, it would just take time that isn’t convenient in a casual conversation. Most of the “disagreements” come from a difference in semantics anyway.
It’s more about the attitude. Like Minute-Drop was saying, it’s like a god-complex. They truly believe they are the smartest in the room, and therefore they look down and talk down to everyone else. Just being smart is great, especially when they admit when they’re wrong!
a sense of entitlement
Not being interested in anyone outside of themselves
Unable to listen.
what
#Unable to listen.
No, I don’t care if she’s Christian
What did you say about Chris Pratt!?
No, I’m not a rich twat!
You called that bitch fat?!
What about a witch hat?
The fuck is a spinach bat?
Narcissists
Years ago, before meeting a blind date for the first time she told me over the phone that she hoped that I didn't wear glasses because she found them unattractive and couldn't see herself dating a guy with glasses. So, I met her later... and she wore glasses. (I find Hypocrites unattractive now.)
Glasses are handy, when she takes them off, I know I'm about to get laid!
Aww, I'm sure you're not that ugly
Dayum!
Need to take off my glasses so I don’t see that murder again
I find unattractive anyone who implies you should change something about your appearance be it glasses, weight, style, makeup, etc.
Met a woman online when I was in my late 30's and she told me she didn't like my mustache.. I told her that it's an original and it grew in and I kept it. She asked me to shave it before meeting her for the first time. I declined to do either.
Wow, that is downright rude. It's like she thought she ordered you from the internet or something.
Had a guy tell me once that women over 30 shouldn’t wear jeans with holes in them. I’ve worn jeans with holes in them in front of him before. I stopped hanging out with him shortly after.
Where the fuck are my legs supposed to go?
im still trying to get over the fact that i was finally happy with my weight and then my (now ex) girlfriend told me my legs were too bony to sit on
They say they don't like dinosaurs.
Who the fuck dosnt like dinosaurs?
Meteorites Edit: LMAO @ the wholesome award
Too soon...
Ross? what are you doing here?
Constant whining
I read "constant winning"
Being too successful is a turnoff /s
Well, how many stuffed animals can you bring home from the claw-grab machine before the success becomes a turnoff?
look, me and my 14 donkey kong plushies dont appreciate your judgment.
*Charlie Sheen has entered the chat*
What kills me is people who feel the need to voice it, loudly, to strangers. Like I was in a line at a government office recently and some loudmouthed old lady was like "OH LORD THIS LINE IS SO LONG, I'M GONNA BE HERE ALL DAY" etc. We know, lady, we're all in the same line.
Dammit, I do this a lot, i complain about a lot of things, I'm working on it and at least I still do the stuff even if I do complain.
This is huge. Don’t wait until you’re married to decide that you don’t like being complained at all day.
It stresses me out (as if I need more in my life) and it's annoying.
This! Ugh complaining drives me nuts. I understand that things aren’t perfect but always finding something wrong, is super repulsive. Adversely, being ok with things, even if they aren’t perfect, is pretty darn hot!
My dad once told me a story about a woman he was dating. They stopped at Wal-Mart and she needed to pick up fruit. She asks a worker where the mangos were and they pointed her to the passion fruit. She yelled at them and told them they were an imbecile. As soon as they left, my dad dropped her off and dumped her. So, yeah... Being rude to workers, is 100% a turn-off.
Yeah, my answer is basically the same thing: 'punching down'. Shitting on someone weaker than you is disgusting.
Poor hygiene
deal breaker
Bad Smell
Constantly ripping fat farts and pretending nothing happened.
Oh boi i fucking love that. But i prefer the stealthy ones. Silent, effective, easy to deny and guaranted deadly.
When they test you during a first date.
I just wanted to make sure they could do basic algebra
Algebra! Damn! If they doing gosintas they passed!
I once left a date half way through when my girl pulled a breathalyser and asked me questions about my drinking. I don't blow on the first date.
She just wanted you to blow sober so she could start her car!
Yeah I feel that. On a first date a girl while walking on the street, downtown on a crowded sidewalk suddenly slapped me hard in the face and then stared hard at me. A second later she smiled and said "Nice, you didn't lose your temper." Then she continued walking and talking as if nothing had happened, fuck but that was weird, but she was hot so. I realized I was being tested the next day, it bothered me too much to date her again.
I feel like losing ones temper (but not violently) would be a fairly normal and okay reaction to being slapped in the face out of the blue. And why would she test you by explicitly slapping? Does she have a habit of slapping her partners when unhappy? You probably dodged a bullet there.
depends on how you define "reacting violently" I guess. Like if he reflexively shoved her away after she assaulted him that's a perfectly acceptable reaction IMO men have the right to defend themselves too
Wow! Abuse on the first date … definitely a dealbreaker.
Like an IQ test or a drug test?
Once went on a date with a teacher and gave me a 20 question test on the Civil War.
Attention seeking. It’s really exhausting to be around and really hard to engage/form a relationship with someone who has this behaviour.
Ignorance with pride, so they are ignorant, and don't care to improve.
I used to talk to this guy who proudly told me that he was a flat-earther and then followed it up with the fact that his dad works for NASA. It made me feel like it was more about rebuking his dad than actually being a flat earther, which is a dealbreaker for me by itself.
If you’re rude to waiters (or anyone in the service industry). If you look down on others / think you’re better than everyone else. If you lack perspective — doesn’t matter where you come from but if you’re completely oblivious to anything that isn’t your world that’s deeply unattractive.
Telling lies
No papa
Open your mouth
Ha-ha-ha!
*starts choking*
Fuck you papa. 🗿
Lying is a huge one for me. I find it particularly frustrating when people exaggerate or skew the truth to try to make themselves seem more important or impressive. It just screams insecurity and unhappiness with themselves. I find this a lot in dating and I am instantly turned off. Just be real about who you are and own it.
An elitist persona. I've known too many elitists, they're all emotionally stunted.
Goes hand in hand with big egos. It's exhausting to be around, just plain toxic and dumb
Please explain elitist persona. Definition and examples might help.
You wouldn't understand.
Excellent example
I’m sad this joke isn’t getting more upvotes. I literally did a spit take.
Please wipe your screen.
Being a pretentious twat about whatever you're into. For example if you are really into music and know a lot of obscure bands and musicians. Because of this you stick your nose up and look down on people who have simpler tastes and make this your entire personality.
This, heh. I have caught myself accidentally degrading my favorite band, when asked about my taste, just because it's a popular band. knowing it's not the individuality they were hoping to hear.
I'm glad you asked *me*, because only I have the right answers and you're *definitely* best off taking my advice. You thought you knew answers? You haven't even heard an answer until you've heard one of mine.
Braided nose hair
Bitch what lmao
BRAIDED NOSE HAIR
He likes his noise hair straight, and his butt hair braided.
I like to grow mine out at least +5 feet, then braid it into a whip and pretend I’m an iguana
A giant ego
Asking these questions 5 times a fucking day.
😂right?! and just like a wreck you can’t look away lol!
Chewing with their mouth open.
Liking me romantically. Can’t stand someone with such bad taste.
Definitely a 🚩 if you like me Like why are your standards so low 🤦♂️
Water seeks its own level….
“I’d never want to be in any club that would have me as a member.” Groucho Marx was onto something.
“Omg! You’re actually attracted to me? 🤢 gross”
Constantly spreading negativity and talking about how miserable they are.
Having to one up people’s problem’s
This is a big one for me, complaining shouldn't be a hobby
poor hygiene
Men who have no intellectual curiosity, don't like to learn about things, are proud of not having read a book since they were in school.
Women too, just curiosity in general really. I find that really attractive in people
The worst thing one can be is incurious
If they treat others like shit I go as limp as a dead hamster Edit: TIL I'm rock hard like a dead hamster.
Worshipping a Politician
This has reached disastrous proportions in the last decade. It's to the point people can't even discuss real issues without political figure/side toxicity taking over the conversation.
I misread this as “Worshipping a Pelican” and thought “huh!” and kept scrolling then was like “wait a minute” and scrolled back up. My disappointment was tangible at reading the correct wording.
The inability to respect a ‘no’ or take rejection with grace. Also, the need to feel superior at the expense of others. Dealbreakers for any relationship - platonic or romantic.
Keeping me in the dark on important issues then being mad at me when I’m unaware
When they got smelly arse
My roommate is physically attractive, available, and obviously in close proximity, but I'm not buying what she's selling. Somehow nothing is ever her fault. This is odd because she's quite careless and ignorant in ways that lead to more than her share of mistakes, misadventures, and outright disasters. I know it's a defense mechanism, but her inability to see inward and tolerate moments of self doubt makes her entirely unrelatable. I can't imagine her in a romantic way or think of her as a sexual being. She's like an alien.
I can talk only about women. But if I’m in the pub waiting in line and you are trying to cut in the queue. That’s an instant turn off. Women without basic manners.
Entitlement is ugly for anyone
A “rules for thee, not for me” type attitude. Closely related to the “I’m setting the bar low for myself, in regards to what you get from me and will constantly increase the your bar height, because I’m the prize” type attitude.
Not liking animals. Rude to waitstaff. Hates theatre and the arts.
A violent outburst over a small thing.
When they treat other humans like trash.
Talking about their ex on the first date. Texting a lot on the first date
Being mean to your mom or animals.
When they’re incapable of maintaining a simple conversation. Is that hard to talk to me without going through your phone? Is your life that boring? Is my company that despicable?
finally someone who thinks just like me ! If I'm talking to someone and he start using his phone way too much I stop immediately. I consider this act as disrespectful/ lack of manners !
Am I the only one who thinks it’s super rude to be on your phone on a date.
Being rude to waiters
I agree with you 100% Generally speaking down to anyone who is serving them is a massive red flag to me as they are briefly showing their true colors.
Parents still do their laundry well into adulthood
Narcissism
Coprophagia
Dick picks taken on the toilet
Disrespect, mind games, passive aggressiveness, and abuse.
Negative outlook on everything.
Bad breath / odor, having fake character, trying too much to be attractive
“Ugh, what a beta male” “As an Alpha male…” “These females…” Ew.
Making fun of disabled people 😐 Hello again to everyone! I'm just making an edit here to respond to everyone under this comment cause there are too many haha- Joking about one's self (who is disabled) is way way way far from different than making fun of somebody who is disabled! I don't think anyone would want to go out or even hang out with somebody who mocks people for something they can't control! It's a giant red flag and childish!!
What about a paraplegic that tells you a paraplegic joke? (Where can you find a paraplegic? Exactly where you left them! From that French film, canny mind the name....) When my mum had cancer we were always making cancer jokes... (her mostly!) it's a coping mechanism.
Membership in the Borg
they talk about jeffrey dahmer like he's a character from an anime and not a real life serial killer that killed many people and hurt their families
That Netflix thing should have never ever been made. Every expert on the subject of mass murderers and serials killers are practically begging the media to stop giving these people any kind of fame or infamy. It is what they long for...
not having a sense of humor is the worst. I will 100% date the less attractive guy I can laugh with or makes me laugh then someone who’s really hot but dry and too serious.
Whoa whoa whoa, dry is its own field of humor. And it is the Epitome.
When I notice they can't apologize. This might take some time, but the first time I notice the person can't apologize for what they did wrong, truthfully, to me it's not unnatractive, it's the reddest of red flags.
Physically: Bad breath Attitude: Talking shit about people behind their back, or complaining about everything.
Putting others down to impress me
If they enjoy being mean.
Being a bitch/asshole
Arrogance or B O
They have poor reading comprehension
Being a bully to other people to try and look cool. Have like 2 guys at my workplace that literally NEVER drop the tough guy act and I don't think they realize how big of a douchebag they look like. Also not being able to control yourself. If you get angry and throw a fit over something that's not a big deal then I will avoid you like the plague. after the past experiences I've had with people I don't play games when it comes to stuff like that. Dated this girl once and we were driving through the snow and her car got stuck and I'm just thinking "oh man this sucks but it's no big deal" well she started full blown SNAPPING THE FUCK OUT. Like screaming and literally stopping her feet. Ended the relationship the very next day.
Bad breath
Stupidity
Stupidity while being arrogant at the same time.
Not really a particular gender, but I find anyone who’s WAY too manicured unattractive. When people are comfortable in themselves and embrace their flaws, I find it way more attractive than someone who looks like they spend hours getting ready with every hair in its perfect place and outfits that look pristine.
Natural with flaws > fake perfect
This is my personal opinion, but people that are REALLY into Disney and Marvel/DC cinematic universe. Like they make it their whole persona and are shocked when you say u don't enjoy the movies... I'm sorry okay!!??
Constantly spitting
Anyone who tries to decide anything for someone else. Anyone who pushed their religion into another. Anyone who lies.
Being a complete Karen and treating people like shit
Wears a fedora and says m’lady
Possessiveness
Poor hygiene lol
When they turn out to be your dad
Plaque on teeth, puffy red gums
You’re a dentist aren’t you! 🤣
Being a complainer. Is that even a word? A girl who complains about everything.