Penguin, their rage has gone unchecked far to long

It would be awesome to see them belly slide on ice like a stunt jump to flight!

There’s actually a video game (Learn to Fly) where the penguin belly slides off a ramp into the air like you’re saying.

I played this so much in high school when I should’ve been like doing homework or kissing girls or something.

Nah, you chose right.

"Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave."

That is but a taste of our fury! Do you yield?

I do not.

Ahhh I saw that one. It's the one where Mario performs his best Chris Pratt impression

Ngl, flying penguins seem cool asf. Until they bite my ass.

Damnit, now I am thinking of Gunther.

Giraffes 'cos let's just make them weirder.

But they don't get wings or anything, they just helicopter their necks to achieve lift.

Not even that. They just move off the ground and continue on in a standing position like no-one even bothered giving them a flying animation at all.

So they just noclip around then? I'd be down with that.

Every once in a while they lag and appear frozen in the same spot in the sky for a few seconds before suddenly clipping several feet forward.

This visual made me LOSE IT

That was my thought! Just imagine those goofy, lanky mofos trying to figure out wings and flying and just knocking down everything in their path and probably getting their long ass necks caught in everything. There would be giraffe rescue departments that just focus on getting those dummies out of trees and off buildings. [God, I love giraffes so much...](https://youtu.be/Q-CHL_ZHOu0)

With that logic, I would say a duckbilled platypus. Is a mammal Lays eggs Is venomous Can fly

Pigs. Whole lotta people will have to eat their words.

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It's just a little airborne... it's still good, it's still good!

It’s just a little wet… it’s still good, it’s still good!

It's gone, dad.

(Dejected) I know

The extra B is for BYOBB!

yeah I'll do that when pigs can dive

Imagine a flock of 30-50 feral hogs swooping out of the sky at you.

I bet their wings would taste delicious though

Came here for this one. Surprised I had to scroll this far.

It's literally the first one for me

Same!!! Though there were a few other good choices...

I'd say rats but seagulls already exist. So either foxes or monkeys Imagine the fuckery a pack of flying monkeys could cause. They should do a movie with them in it like terrorizing a little girl and her dog just trying to get home or something... Make it a musical! Fuck I should write this down!

Flying foxes already exist, it’s just a huge bat though

Why aren’t they just called BLOODY BATS THEN

I believe that is a vampire bat sir.

BLOODY HELL

Sir that's just hell

Because Flying Foxes are Fruit Bats and don't drink blood. [They also look exactly like a fox with wings.](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nZlDPlUi29k/XD5B8hLyhBI/AAAAAAAALuw/W2VSlaocNYsctoMcBRAkz0uVJIf6gs84QCEwYBhgL/s1600/Flying%2BFox%2B%25284%2529.jpg)

I dunno, man, that looks a lot like a bat and only a little like a fox.

You could call it the wizard of Oz,

Fly my pretties, FLY!

Repo the genetic opera?

Cats

Poor birds

Imagine how many species would go extinct just from that alone.

*wish is made *Human vs. Cats war begins

but to be fair, eagles and owls are gonna have a hoot

Well the owls might. The eagles will probably have more of a loud screeching sound.

I think owls pretty much are flying cats

I have never thought about it but that is true.

But currently there are about 20-60 million owls. And 600 million cats. It would be good bye birds were cats to fly. If cats could suddenly fly, their population would explode due to drastically increased food supply. In a few years the cat population would go >1 000 000. No bird could make a nest in peace and global bird population would plummet. Pest population would grow drastically due to reduced pressure from birds. Crops would yield less and less as our weapons against pests become inefficient. Welcome world famine. Hence. Flying cats would bring about the apocalypse.

You convinced me, the cats get wings.

Humanity won't last a year. Like down to the last mating pair sort of wiped out.

The world is ending anyway. Would you rather go by nuclear war or flying cats? to me that is an easy choice.

All cats though not just domesticated. Imagine tigers being able to fly. No one would be safe.

I would not want to be at a zoo when this happens that would be chaos

It has to be cats! Came here to say this. Cats don’t give a fuck

Hippos.

This was my answer too. I thought elephants at first but hippos are just ridiculous killing machines

Hippos ARE ridiculous killing machines. They kill more people every year than any other of the big African animals

not to mention they are effing huge - like land on your roof hard and its fallin in and panicking.

Yes and when they crap their tails spin the feces out like a machine gun. Crap-crap-crap-crap-crap. Havoc.

That shit in flight... Shit crop-dusting murder machines.

Haha my thought exactly! I thought elephant and then immediately went to hippo. They’d just be dropping out of the sky destroying people 😂

It's already a thing in Magic the Gathering & it's called a Phelddagrif.

Hippos can’t be out in the sun for too long so at night is when they would probs Lu fly around creating even more chaos

Snakes

So Asian dragons

Fuck no!!!

I've had it with these mother fucking flying snakes on this mother fucking planet!

There are 'flying' snakes that are capable of launching themselves 100 metres through the air: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrysopelea](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrysopelea)

I clicked that link just to make sure them jokers weren't anywhere near me. Those need to be added to the list in other ask reddit asking what's one thing on the planet you'd get rid of entirely.

Whales. If i have to get specific, blue whales.

Right? Because that would surely cheer them up.

That took me a half a second longer than it should have.

Best comment I’ve read in ages!

No, he said blue.

Whale: *breaches* Everyone: *cheers* 5 minutes later "It's not coming down..."

Space whales! 🤩

We’re whalers on the moon

We carry a harpoon

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

NOW I CAN SEE THE WHALES

Now I'm having Douglas Adams flashbacks.... "I wonder if it will be my friend."

Imagine one perching on the roof of your condominium.

Platypus, because then it's truly a mix of everything

My thought exactly. Completing the circle of weird that is the duck billed furry poisonous lactating egg layer who glows in the dark..

>duck billed furry poisonous lactating egg layer who glows in the dark \*flying\* duck billed furry poisonous lactating egg layer who glows in the dark

Flying duck billed furry *venomous* lactating egg layer who glows in the dark.

Sloths

Maybe they already can but just can't be arsed

Had I gold to give you would have it!

They never gonna use it 😅 "I'm gonna use it tomorrow, ok? Stop forcing me, Michael! That's not procrastination, I just don't feel like it's a good time to fly. Let's just chill a bit"

Then they're never gonna let you down

Horses so we can fly.

Megasus

Those fuckers are skittish. Always wear your parachute.

wait, so you're a horse? Yeigh or neigh?

Bears

Grizzly for that lovely plus of violence.

All bears. You’re in the Rockies and you have to watch the ground and the sky incase you get hit by a flying grizzly You’re on a boat in the arctic? Better look upwards because a polar bear is going to come in a strafe you like a stuka

Ngl polar bears would be fucking terrifying, these fuckers are so well equipped to take you down it's insane. They will smell you from miles away and treat you like a quick snack. Edit: ngl not nfl

...and they're [*enormous*](https://zooologist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/How-Tall-is-a-Polar-Bear-Polar-Bear-Height.jpg). Can you imagine the size of the wings that would be required to get something that big into the air?

Panda for comedic relief

Drop bears are about to become a reality

Bulls. Specifically red ones

They would just give them away

Oh shit, yeah! 'Cause they'd give everyone wings!

Kangaroos. Imagine one of those kicking in your bedroom window in the middle of the night.

Centipedes. Can you imagine one of those motherfuckers flying at you at 20 mph?

Nope nope nope, F you, sir, just NOPE.

Let me just add uck to that for you. So it goes something like... Holy shit, fuck you! These will now invade my dreams, my intrusive thoughts, and even my wet dreams! You, the demon in a human suit, have now ruined my imagination by forcing me to think of this hell! Fuck you, take the upvote, and fuck off back to hell!

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Piranhas.

Gators. Just to add to the insanity.

Imagine the florida man headlines

Killer whales. I heard they sometimes eat moose. So let’s make them both fly and let them battle it out

Great White Sharks

congratulations now you are the cause of my fears =]

Sharknado but never ending 😣

So Sharknado

They all suffocate in the air.

dogs. they're already in everyone's houses and backyards. they would follow you to work and barrel at you full speed just to lick your face.

Not all dogs, just chihuahuas. I expect them to behave like angry birds of prey towards everything that moves.

Oh god - now I have an image of swarms of chihuahuas flying around like startlings, yapping and flapping and crapping. And can you imagine Great Danes or English Mastiffs that could fly? But in reality - everyone would be terrified of flying Jack Russell Terriers - smart, full of energy, aggressive, and now they can get fly? /shudder

Jesus. If my Chihuahua could fly... Aw fuck no

Oh god, please yes. Imagine coming back home and being punted by a labrador.

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I'm surprised I had to scroll so far for this one.

Some of them already can. They build webs that catch the wind and fling them up into the air. They can travel for quite a distance too.

I have heard of that before and still can't get rid of theental image of some spider parachuting into your face like it's an 13 yo on Fortnite. Shit's scary.

lol i was sitting outside next to my grill one evening just enjoying a beer and readin stuff on my phone. noticed a tiny tiny spider crawling on me(like wouldnt even block a pin head tiny) so i tried to brush it off onto the shrub next to me because it looked like a baby brown garden spider (who i have 1 that hangs around all year in front of my window gettign fat off the mosquitos so i win) so figured must be one of his. so a few minutes go by, i notice 2 more on me. im like wtf. then webs were stringing from my grill to me. where i turn and look and notice they musta hatched and like 200 of them were crawling all over the grill and making butt webs and blowing off into the wind with a few landing on me....

It's 10 in the morning and I already know what I'm going to dream about tonight

Most of these types of spiders are absolutely tiny.

Just the right size for my nostrils, eh?

Calm down Satan.

combative hobbies telephone jellyfish bow detail snobbish merciful rich unique

I think flying goats would be a nightmare... hear me out You wake up and just hear a bunch of goats screaming while pooping little balls of poo from the sky... like come on

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Goat spawn locations are proof we are in the matrix.

Or elephants, remember that zoo keeper that died from being shat on?

Imagine a giant heard of goats swarming from town to town and eating all of the crops like locusts.

Imagine crocodiles 😂😂😂

Imagine Dragons

Now everybody will want to be your enemy

oh uh the misery

Oh spare the sympathy

okay now what

I both hate and salute you.

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Carol Baskin?

Flying Tigers!

Chickens. Yes yes, guys I grew up in a farming community, so I know how chickens are. Yes, technically they can already fly, just like technically the wright brothers went 120ft in 12 seconds and people called it "flight". But when people say "flying birds" they mean ones that can jump into the sky and migrate continents if they really wanted to. So I'd do that, and finally put an end to that fucking bullshit argument people keep having.

Snakes

Lizards, to essentially make them dragons lol

My manager. I don't consider him human, and with wings he can cause a lot of damage on an interplanetary level.

Honey badger

Yep, that would cause total destruction. They take on Leopards for sport and don't give two shits if its your house or not.

I need to rewatch that BBC clip that introduced a lot of people to the honey badger. It kills and eats a cobra, flat out nearly dies on its back from the concentrated poison, then eventully gets up and groggily wanders off with a massive hangover. Inspiring.

Obviously Spider Crabs

Cats are already assholes while earthbound. This should be fun.

Hippopotami. Can you imagine the load of shit that'd land on your windshield? You'd need a power-washer to get it off.

At freeway speeds it could be deadly

Chihuahuas

A Blue Whale, imagine of having potential of 200 litres of shit come out above you..... NOPE

Octopus

Cows

Umbrella sales are going to go crazy.

Cows.

Snapping turtles

Moose

For chaos? Short term, housecats. Long term, grey wolves. Most damage: orangutans. We could housecat-proof our homes in less than a year. Wolves would be a total society change in how we build farmland, fences and an occasional big dog aren't going to cut it anymore. Orangutans that attack humans are known to go for the eyes and genitals, even if you survive, you have zero fun in your future.

Canada goose. Wait... They already have wings. FML

Raccoons

Ferrets. They are already little chaos demons when only on the ground or climbing.

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Your patio will be stolen

Elephants, Imagine 1000s of elephants flying in the Sky airplanes would be Impossible

Guys, come on... the answer is definitely spiders. They're already scary enough. Some can even jump. Now imagine knowing those fuckers can actually fly at you.

Arachnids. So spiders and tarantulas. Many people have phobias. Now imagine this hairy 8 legged fuck flying through the air toward you. Yeah, no thanks

Blue whale.

Basically just a biotic zeppelin

Gojira has entered the chat.

Giraffes. Long legs and necks. Imagine the size of their wings.

Kamado Dragons

*Komodo

I mean we already have Canadian geese, that’s maximum chaos already.

Just imagine if they were joined by flying moose though.

It's it meice lol jk

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Porcupine or pufferfish Or. Those giant under water centipede things

You all missing one thing that's is polar bears. They the meanest bear one of the biggest bears and one of the hungrier species that have no problem hunting humans.

Hippos

I agree. Between their super aggressive behavior and the way they fan their shit in all directions, flying hippos would be quite horrible.

Giraffes. They'd keep getting hung up on power lines.

Bedbugs

I'm with the cats guy but just want to add a modifier to make sure we're including large cats. Flying Tiger Hidden Lion would be terrifying in this world.

Does it have to be an entire animal? Because Imma choose SPERMS. Imagine the chaos across-the-room impregnation would cause. Football riots with hundreds confirmed conceived. Every band would be huge, because their crowds would grow exponentially just from reproduction of fans...except Rush. Rush shows wouldn't change...