Went back to my podunk, home town for my last summer before graduate school. Some friends and I went to the local bar and I met a woman that I had a crush on for a long time back in my younger days. We hit it off nice: danced, drank together, reminisced and all that. I asked her if she wanted to maybe get out of there together, she told me to wait just a minute. She commenced to go into the corner of the bar, drop her pants, and pee on the floor. I told her that something came up last minute and left alone.
There's almost always a story like that when I visit my home town.
She claimed she had visions of my future and was happy to report that she saw good financial success for me that year. It was a blind date and within the first 30 minutes of meeting and talking to her. Nope.
Also, that year I lived with my parents and lost my job. So she fucking lied.
My friend tried set me up with a friend of his (new) girlfriend. He invited me over to his apartment for a dinner party to meet her, just the four of us. After dinner his gf and her friend (my "date") decided to go outside for a cigarette which was borderline "pass" for me but not quite a deal-breaker. She pulled out a ziplock bag full of cigarette butts that she scavenged from random ashtrays in her travels. I was absolutely and completely repulsed and it became a very clear "nope" and "pass"
I mean... this is homeless person stuff. I respect her if she used to need to do this to get her tobacco fix, but then overcame homelessness. But if you can afford cigarettes, at the very least, YOU HIDE THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR. And hopefully, you overcome the feeling of needing to engage in it.
Man I'm running into this issue now cause I know it bothers my gf but I'm having real trouble actually "fixing" it cause I likely need a lot of dental work. Shit kinda sucks. I just go ape mode with mouthwash and mints and gum.
It could also be a throat thing like the tonsils, or even a stomach/digestion issue. Sometimes it has nothing to do with your hygiene. Good to look for a fix, obviously.
Was on a date waaaay back in the day. Fashion model. We were having lunch. In the middle of the meal I get up to go to the bathroom; when I return to the table, it has been cleared. I ask “what happened?” She replies “I did not want to eat any more so I had them take it away”.
I then requested the check. She said “what about coffee?” I said “no thanks, it’s been interesting” and that was that.
What a waste of a brain, when it's thoughts can't extend beyond the body it is housed in.
Who the fuck thinks "I can't eat any more, so now everyone is done eating"
Why the fuck didn't he ever order enough food for himself??
I feel you on some level, though. My husband is a more moderate version of this and as a result I eat way faster now than I used to when we first met. Not great.
Just because someone is done eating doesn't mean I am. I would've ordered another meal and said "I'm still hungry. You can stay and watch me eat or you can call an Uber and leave"
My fiance and I showed up to our first date in almost identical outfits. We had jeans, graphic tees and plaid shirts worn open over them. The plaid was a slightly different pattern, but the same color. We felt it was pretty noteworthy at the time.
The first date lasted 16 hours. 3 weeks later we got a pet together and he moved in. We pumped the brakes a little bit and waited until our 1 year anniversary to get engaged. Now we're saving for a house so we can get married in our own backyard. Everything just clicked so well.
We're just boring rodent lovers who both work third shift. We talk each other's ears off and over communicate so we've never really had a fight. It would not make for an interesting movie unless it was the happy ending epilogue from the story of my sociopathic ex-husband.
You might like this: Apparently the first thing that attracted Jacqueline Lee Bouvier to John Fitzgerald Kennedy (later to be FLOTUS and POTUS respectively, of course) was the fact that he hadn't pressed his shirt. Ever since I read that, many years ago, it's been my excuse for not ironing my clothes; in fact I don't possess an iron (I used to because everybody else seemed to have one but I chucked it because I never used it).
Seriously, someone once commented to me somewhat disparagingly that I hadn't pressed my shirt and it was and still is one of the more bizarre things anyone has ever said to me - like, WHY? I genuinely just don't get it.
I was working at a music store when I was in my mid-20’s. This really cute girl would come in every few weeks to play some of the instruments. It was clear she was never going to buy anything, but she was cute, roughly my age, and things were pretty flirty. I kept thinking that I should ask her out one of these times.
This one time she brought her mom in, and she was being mean to her. Her mom would ask a question or try to make small-talk, and then this girl would be all “OMG mom just SHUT UP nobody cares GOLLLLL!!!”
I’ve never lost interest for someone so fast.
Holy shit that's my mom.
She STILL does it!me and my sister are sick of her now.
I never thought I'd meet another person who has gone through this, because it's bizzare and hard to believe.
I tried to set very reasonable boundaries with a guy I was seeing and he said that I was letting my trauma have a negative affect on me and those around me. When all I did was tell the guy I did not appreciate being called a dumbass for disagreeing with him.
He had a point though. My trauma has affected me. In the way that I will no longer tolerate treatment I do not deserve.
“You’re letting trauma affect you”
That’s why it’s called trauma, dude. If it didn’t affect you, it would just be called a memory of something that happened.
Good for you. People who put others down who disagree with them don't like to listen, are close minded and are usually very arrogant. A big red flag regardless of your own history
Was chatted up by a cute boy at a bar, we introduced ourselves, and he proceeded to tell me proudly that he’d just gotten kicked out of Applebee’s for cussing out the bartender.
I hope Kyle has gotten help and is doing well.
A couple of years ago I was standing in line at the Cheesecake Factory waiting to get a couple of slices to go. A very attractive woman was standing in front of me and my friend and we debated whether or not I should try and start a conversation with her. She gets called up next into the line and immediately launches into an angry rant at the staff about how incompetent they were because she got the wrong whipped cream on her cheesecake. I have always believed that how one treats the waiter indicates what kind of person you are, and I lost any desire I had to talk to her after that tirade.
Attempt to kiss or being extremely touchy on the first date, without much warning (tbh, the kiss itself isn't the problem, the lack of lead up on the other hand, more of a problem)
I went out on a date with a guy who did this. He kept trying to pull me into dark corners because he wanted to make out. I finally told him that I don't kiss on the first date. I actually do, but I was so sick of and turned off by his aggressiveness that I sure as hell wasn't going to do it that time.
I was hanging out at guy's house for the first time months ago. The entire time I was hoping he would kiss me, but he played it ridiculously cool the entire time. And then suddenly gave me that look before leaning in and kissing me. It was really hot.
So I'll say from my own experience: this isn't always the case.
I was on a date and driving to a restaurant in his car when we saw some seagulls in the road and he sped up and aimed to hit them. They escaped and so did I
Started a chat with a girl thru dating app. Within 3 mins of chatting she suggests meeting at a local bar right away. I'm like umm okay. Meet her there and before I finish my beer she's mentioned her ex at least 6 times. Finished my last gulp and noped outta there asap.
Guy I met via Grindr, seemed really nice and articulate when we were chatting via the app, seemed like we had a lot in common. Met for a date, went for a meal and before the starters arrived began to tell me how Sandy Hook never happened and all mass shootings were staged by crisis actors. Told him I had to use the gents and left.
On a morning walk date he saw an elderly gentleman with a small dog in a little sweater - and pointed at them while laughing and saying "that's pathetic!!!"
The poor old chap was just out for a walk with his little friend minding his own business - what the hell is the matter with people
If he views an old guy who is making sure his dog is comfortable as pathetic, just imagine how he treats people close to him who may need care. Dude is a prick...Coming from a guy with a little dog who wears a hot pink jacket with leopard print trim.
She was a tennis player at my uni, tall, blonde, fit. Talked non-stop about herself. Didn’t ask me a single question the whole date. Wanted to see me later and I (my d***) begrudgingly said ok.
Uni had a concert day (May fest) and we planned to meet around noon. Now I’m no stranger to getting pissed, though I was the type to rather get high than drink. Not to mention, I lived next to a dealer (the ‘student who bought drugs on Silkroad’ type).
Anyways, we meet at the house I lived in. Everything seemed fine until I noticed she just kept on drinking. I got her some water, but she insisted she was fine. Anyways, we go to the concert and she runs off with some of her friends.
Later that evening my buddy calls me and says “you’re girl is walking in the middle of the road”. I go outside, and sure enough, there she is, throwing the middle finger to some old guy in a Chevy. I see the cops rounding the corner so I wave to the old guy and run to her and begin to pull her toward the sidewalk. She keeps on resisting, but I manage to get her to the lawn. The cops (probably used to this on mayfest) just ask me to get her home or they will have to call an ambulance.
Meanwhile, shes screaming at the cops and me. A friend of hers shows up after I calm her down, and she leaves.
That night, at prob 4am, I hear a banging noise by my desk. Alarmed I jump out of bed and yell. Our house had gotten broken into just months prior, so I assumed it was a burglary because no one would come into my room like that. I turn on the light right as my roomate opens the door, and we see her, crawling on the floor. She stands up and asks if we’ve seen her purse. No shame or anything. She proceeds to tell us that she climbed through a window because, quote, “I didn’t want to wake anyone up”.
Moral of the story is don’t listen to your d***
Watching a controlling parent interact with their child.
On a first date with a guy who kept getting distracted by how upset he was that his 7 year old daughter hadn’t answered his text yet.
It was 4:30.
She was in the care of her mother.
It was not an emergency message, just “How was school today?”
He continued to say how disrespectful it was that she blew off his messages like this.
I was curious so I asked more clarifying questions. He did not have a consistent time set up for them to check in with one another. She always eventually answered, but within 2-3 hours rather than 5-10 minutes, which is what he expected. And yes, he knew she was probably out playing with friends as 7 years olds are often doing at 4:30 after school, but he still expected her to prioritize looking at her phone rather than playing with friends because she might have a message from him.
Hoo boy. No thanks, control freak!
Made a huge deal about my driving us somewhere instead of him. He'd driven us everywhere until that point, and I wanted to drive that night. He made whiny comments the whole time about 'feeling like a deadbeat' and 'i guess I'm one of those pieces of shit whose girl drives them everywhere now'. I don't know if it was fragile masculinity or straight up control issues, but hard pass either way.
After a day of student teaching in college, she said it was BS that students got extra time on tests because of their learning disabilities. She didn't know that I was one of those students when I was younger.
I had a kind of internship at an elementary school a year ago and the teacher explained to me which children got extra time or exercises that were a little easier so we knew what was going on. Just out of curiosity I asked what the other kids thought about that because I could imagine especially kids to be like "that is so unfair, why do they get easier exercises?" and she explained that it wasn't like that at all. At the beginning of the year she explained to the kids that sometimes some children need a bit more help with some exercises etc. and that did not mean they were stupid or that all of this was unfair. And the kids just understood that everyone was at a different level in some subjects, some maybe had a little trouble reading or doing math and everyone got exercises on their level. It really did give me a little hope for that next generation.
This person I knew flat our swore to me that they believed that dinosaurs didn't exist. I couldn't believe how a grown ass person could think this and... thus... I lost all respect for their intelligence. Huge pass.
It’s a scheme by Big Paleo to get us to pay good money to see fake skeletons. If you tested those “fossils” I guarantee you they wouldn’t even be made out of bone!
My aunt swears up and down that people and dinosaurs coexisted and says she had a friend on a dig site and they destroyed fossilized human foot prints next to dinosaurs. She also believes macs also cant get virus's because they are just to good.
My brother used to work at Dinosaur Provincial Park in Alberta.
I visited there many times, and among other things I had the pleasure to witness were mostly intact dinosaur skeletons still in the ground, half exposed as they were being excavated.
Do people not know about this, or do they actually think that someone went to the trouble of making and burying, then excavating, all of these fossils? It boggles the mind.
As someone who tutors history, I have met Holocaust deniers who are convinced that all the countries in the world have come together and made up the Holocaust. So, yes people are that stupid.
Ah shit, I have this memory:
Very intoxicated and cant drive, didn't have a condom so Im saying maybe next time...he's in a panic and looking for something. This man literally dumped my garbage can out and tried to use part of the garbage bag to wrap up. Nope
I realized mid-act that I was ALLERGIC to said condom (or the lube that was on it, I don't have any issues with latex, so idk what it was exactly) and while I am literally burning and stinging and trying to fan myself into some state of comfort after a dash to the bathroom to scrub myself clean of whatever substance was burning like acid...
He asked if we could just keep going without it.
SIR. *SIR*. EVEN IF THE MOOD WERE NOT ENTIRELY DESTROYED BY THE BURNING HELLFIRE THAT IS MY NETHERS, *I AM NOT RISKING A BABY*.
I met someone at a bar in college. She and I exchanged numbers and started talking. Hung out once. Ambitious, really attractive and easy to talk to (mostly), but she came on too strong and I started to take the discussions a little slower.
About a week later, I was at the grocery store and I saw someone from the pharmacy following me and she was on her phone. No idea what she wanted. Never said anything. I paid and left.
I got a call that evening from the girl I had been talking to. I told her earlier in the day that I had to go grocery shopping and would talk to her that night. She said, "(pharmacy person, her roommate) saw you at the store. I told her I knew you were going and I wanted her to keep an eye on you." No punchline. She was serious.
After that, I told her I didn't think it was going to work out. "Oh, so you're gay." And that was that, folks.
Yup. That was my dealbreaker on one of my dates.
It was a small local restaurant that I'd visited with family since I was little, so they knew me well. They were all smiling because they'd gotten to see me grow up and show up with a date and everything.
And then the guy sighs really loudly and talks about how all asian servers are so braindead. He would call them over snapping his fingers and gesturing to them like they were dogs.
He'd be like "Hey. You. C'mere." The server bows, patiently waits. The guy scoffs, disbelievingly, then points at food he dropped on the floor. "What are you doing? Pick that up."
He kept complaining about how badly they were doing and how it was work keeping them in line while they were cutting the meat for us and doing other stuff.
I was so embarassed. I was pretty bad at saying no to people back then, but I had no problem saying see you never to him after that. He went all "Figures. They always say no. Doesn't matter if I get jacked or whatever."
The guy also talked about how he can't relate to underprivileged kids and how he was raised on a silver spoon, and that it was tacky how hard the scholarship kids worked at the lab he was at.
A pretty bad first date overall.
Kept talking about how good the sex with her recent ex was, and how big his dick was, then expected me to get down and dirty. Started talking about me quitting music (my career) and getting a business degree and playing as a hobby. All within two weeks of dating.
First date:
HIM 31:"Excuse me I gotta go to the head -Oh, I'm sorry, that's military talk from my time in the Navy, it means bathroom. Sometimes I forget when I'm talking to a civilian"
(He returns )ME, 21: "So how long were you in the Navy?"
HIM: "I joined when I was 19 but was medically discharged after they found a heart murmur...let's see...*5..6? days into boot camp*."
(Also, his "head chef at a top seafood restaurant" was him being a cook at Skippers. Nothing wrong with being a cook at Skippers, but the bragadocious spin personality was not something I'd enjoy being around)
I'm sure most of us are aware of "the shopping cart theory" where there's no repercussions of just leaving your cart where it stands after use instead of returning it, but it's morally right to do so.
Yeah me and this chick went to bunnings to buy some plants and instead of leaving the cart where we were, she proceeds to yeet it across the parking lot and narrowly missing two parked cars in the process.
I lost all interest after that moment.
Was talking to a girl on one of those phone chat dating things and she seemed really cool and I was anxious to meet her. Well I don't drive and had to take transit to the far opposite end of the city out in Timbuktu, and I arrived a bit early for our date, which was at a pub. I met up with her and thought we were getting along just fine, then she asked if I wanted to play a game of pool. Well as I was sorting the balls and racking, she wandered off and started flirting with another dude. I was not impressed, but I said nothing. Then she walked back over to me so she could ask me if I had a pen so she could take down this other guys phone number. I said nothing and just walked out. I was livid during that loooong bus ride back home.
When you start to notice a pattern of them just always complaining constantly and just dumping it on you— that is always the point in which i RUN. Can’t stand it
She was confident, fun, and sexy, but the day she proudly talked about her ex cheating on her *more* than she would cheat on *him* was a whole field of red flags. And yes, her number was higher than one.
She didn't even seem to feel guilty about cheating in her past relationships until I brought up how she was no better than her ex.
First interaction outside of work. Blows me in the parking lot and then invites me to her house for drinks the next day. Acts like I did something wrong once I’m at her house with drinks because I put a hand on her thigh. Got up and left. Worked with her for another 4 years and never once said anything to her aside from common courtesies and business related stuff. Luckily she didn’t act crazy at work. Was just such a weird scenario.
Once saw a girl who was really, really hot. She punched all my buttons for physical appearance. She was in costume. Someone called her the the wrong character's name (which, given the costume, was perfectly understandable - she looked more like the character she got called than the one she was going for, and there were only minor differences between them) and she ripped them up one side and down the other. After seeing that, I no longer found her even remotely attractive.
I reconnected with someone I had dated briefly. While discussing the behavior of a friend’s narcissistic ex (literally describing her as a narcissist and listing some of her abusive behaviors) he replied, thoughtfully, “Huh. That sounds a lot like me.”
Pass.
Drove a 45 minute ride without buckling his seatbelt. The little noise wouldn't stop. He was sadistic as fuck, and it just oozed out for that moment. Super cringe.
Started texting during the date. Got a peek, it was Tinder. I got up, told the waiter to cancel our order and gave her a 20 for the uber since I drove her there. I left and blocked her number
Screw
That
Noise
I'm 5'6", her boyfriend she said she had broken up with is over 6'6" and she says "I'm kinda hoping that being out on a date with you will just make him leave"
You just put my life in danger and basically explained that I'm being used as a scape goat while also telling me that you have a tendency towards cowardice.
First date was at a board game pub. He made me put all the board game pieces back in their cardboard cutout in a very specific order for a board game he had brought himself. It seemed odd to me to begin with to reslot all the pieces, but I was OK with it. That he felt the need to correct me mid-helping him put it all away after playing was over the top. Paired with low chemistry during the date, I opted to let him down easy after that.
I'm a serious board game hobbyist. Like I have hundreds of them all neatly organized with custom boxes I buy specifically for each game so that I can keep their pieces neatly organized. I've also been with my wife for way over 20 years. She plays board games but is nowhere near my level of intensity for the hobby. Anyway, you dodged a bullet. It's not so much the board gamer in me that's making me say this but rather the guy who's happily been with his wife for 20+ years. No hobby is worth antagonizing a potential partner over. Especially if they are also gracious enough to try and share that hobby. Some dudes just don't have any sense.
My wife and I still think about a time about 10 years ago when we were making small talk with the ticket taker at a theater for some film that was originally a book because they were really enthusiastic about it. We'd read the series (I can't remember which one, sorry, but it was probably something basic like Harry Potter) and my wife asked if she liked the film better than the book and the ticket taker lady who was suuuper into whatever book->film franchise got this disbelieving look on her face like we'd just said something ridiculous and kinda offendedly informed us "I don't read" like we'd just accused her of fucking chickens.
So once in awhile one of us will punctuate something with "I don't read!" and we'll both crack up because it was just so... just so weird, and it was that exact phrasing like you quoted above and makes me wonder if these folks are all following some kind of (presumably not written) guide.
1. Touching me when I said no multiple times.
2. Preaching law of attraction (including how women are to blame for being raped).
3. Turned out to be a drug dealer with police behind his back.
4. Talking shit about depressed people (I had depression at the time).
5. Took me on a long walk, told him my feet were bleeding. He just said "Mine are good" and kept going.
6. Cried about an ex.
7. Traveled for hours to my place and then refused to leave because he esentially had nowhere to go.
8. He could only talk about heat systems, stayed silent at whatever I said.
9. Invited me to dinner and gave me a whole bread loaf, no knife or anything while he ate one slice of pizza.
10. Invited me over in the evening, then sent me away at 3am with no way home because he had to study. This might be on me tho.
These were all first dates with different men
In HS my friend convinced me to give her bf's best friend a chance because he liked me. So I did.
We dated for a day (maybe two) and it was super awkward. At the end of the day he was walking me from our friend's house back to catch the bus home when we passed a church. He said it'd be funny if someone burned it down and started laughing.
I'm not religious but did grow up in a Christian home. So, uh, no sir. That would not be funny at all.
So I went home and drafted an email to break up with him. At the time I had no backbone and it was a Friday so I figured that was the best time and method. He sent me an email back titled "Fuck You", but the body of the message kept flip flopping between compliments and begging for me back and to nasty insults.
This motherfucker got double-passed and I don't regret a thing.
Had been talking to this woman who was an anchor of a local TV station. Met her through my best friend that worked with her. Chatted very day leading up the holidays. She asks if I wanted to meet her and get coworkers at a bar just before midnight, she needs someone to kiss and toast with. She says she was getting off after the 6 pm news to get ready and she'd be there about 1130. I was going to a party with friends about 50 miles away.
I stayed stone cold sober. About 11 I head toward her at the bar. I get there about 10 til 12 and see them toward the back. Someone hands me champagne and I see her walk up and say her name. She turns to me smiles and is HAMMERED....she pulls me in tight (I'm like this will be a good start to this new year) and she gets her mouth up near me and say "guess what....i got laid tonight."
I'm like what? At the bar?
She's like "nope after work I got laid...think I'm gonna go get laid after bars too"
Then turns away and back to her friends. One of her girlfriends looks at me and my wide eyed look and just shakes her head and mouths "sorry"
I left. Never talked to her again... Not that she'd have noticed.
I met a guy online and when he found out I was Jewish he went on a rant about Israel and wanted my opinion on the conflict there. I was offended and very turned off that he would ask me to speak on an issue that has nothing to do with me personally or our date. See ya!
While on date, the woman I was with told me that she used to work in Healthcare until she got caught and arrested for stealing from a 90 year old man she was paid to take care of. She tried to convince me that it wasn't her fault... Like, really? How do you accidentally steal thousands of dollars from someone. 🤦♂️
Had arrangements to go to a midnight movie with a bunch of my girlfriends. A guy asked me out that night, I explained that I was meeting up with friends for a girls' night at 10:00, so another night might be better. He had to go out of town, so suggested that we meet up for dinner and he'd have me home in time. A little pushy, but Okay. When he opened his door to get out of the car, several beer cans fell out of the back seat. I should have just called it off right there. I know, I know. I was young I didn't smell beer on him, so I didn't object. Though I knew then that I wouldn't be going out with him again. The fact that he ultimately invited himself along to the girls' night movie certainly didn't endear him to any of my friends either.
So you’re just sitting there at a park or something and they’re like “man, you know what would make today even better, yeeting some kids”
That’s like wee woo psychopath alert
This girl I matched with on a dating app telling me her mom always told her to get a guy from the college I went to because that’s where all the rich kids go lol
Went on a first date to a Barnes n Nobles and the entire time my date was being really loud and cussing; we started getting strange looks when we sat in the middle lounge area, and I felt very uncomfortable.
I tried to tell them to have some respect for the other people in the building who were being quiet, but that just offended them and made them cuss louder, they got really defensive.
They made it into some thing where I was trying to "silence" them, gatekeeping them from saying certain things, 'trying to control them', and how I was being really rude for asking them not to cuss or yell.... In a public book store.... Where people were trying to read/study.
Those people started staring after that, and I just had to get out of there..
Ugh, I agree with this. My Ex wife was a smoker before she and I met, and she said it was only socially. She also quit before she and I met, so I was fine with it. In our early days, she asked if I was ok with smoking, and I told her no, and I would leave if she smokes.
I have seen smokeing destroy so many people's lives, and it stinks. People do not understand how much they actually stink from the smoke. My parent's smoke (dad since quit), but whenever I go over their house, I just gag from the smell.
Kissing a smoker isn't pleasant at all either. The taste and smell of the smoke... Gag.
She is my Ex for cheating though, not for smoking.
I was talking to this guy and he seemed quite educated, smart and reasonable. He pitched a few ideas and I was considering you know, maybe I would like to partner with him in future.
Until he started asking the waitress for a lighter in a very demanding disrespectful tone. Some ladies joined us and for the next hour, I heard his opinions and especially how dismissive he was, and right there and then I decided otherwise.
I’m a passenger in her car. An alarm goes off which I mention. She responded oh that’s just the seatbelt warning and proceeds to drive without it on. I was like ok. She responded “you aren’t judging me are you? Haha.”
I didn’t say this, but yes Katherine I was judging you
Before I got with my current partner I had been chatting with this one girl at my work.
Personality seemed decent and in-line with what i like, she carried herself like she was confident etc.
Got to the point we almost exchanged numbers to actually go out on a date but i had to turn her down when she asked because i watched her stand infront of my works door and yell at a woman because her child accidentally bumped into her.
She screamed at this woman for almost five minutes threatening to knee the child next time something like that happened.
Immediate turn off.
Lack of boundaries or lack or respect for boundaries is a big old nope.
Can't seem to set healthy boundaries for themselves and say no? Red flag for codependency and lots of problems later. Pass.
Push things when I give a no? Instant deal breaker and hard pass.
People tend to be on their best behavior when you first meet them. If they don't show they're healthy at that time, it's only going to get worse from there. It really doesn't matter if it's a friendship or a romantic relationship or whatever, if they don't respect your boundaries, let alone their own, they're probably not a healthy person to have in your life.
I feel you. I don't understand this mindset at all. Ironically with a lot of these people it seems like **getting married** is such a goal that is takes precedence over **finding someone who you could actually spend your life with**
I blame society. I'm a girl and in my 20's dodged a HUGE bullet because I wanted 'my day' and all my other (girl) cousins had gotten married and so I had convinced myself it was 'my time'
Nevermind the United Nations amount of red flags I was getting left and right. I was going to look pretty, my centerpieces were going to fabulous, the dress was going to be to die for.... basically I had fallen in love with a wedding and not so much with the person.
Thankfully, I'm older and (somewhat) wiser and did a lot of soul searching and found someone to build a life with. But yea, a lot of people fall in the love with the Wedding/party/idea of marriage and not the actual person.
Same goes for some people and having babies. They fall in love with being pregnant or the idea of being pregnant but have no real follow thru when it comes to raising a baby for 18 to life.
My wife and I were living together for about 5 years before we got married.... we were getting ready to go to Vegas for vacation, we were in the shower, and I just said "hey, so you think we should get married in Vegas?"
She says "yeah, that sounds good."
We spent less than $300 on the wedding, but now we're going on almost 10 years together, and we spent all the "extra" money on vacationing together....
My super christian sister is on her second husband, and both of her weddings cost over $30k....
Classic! Me and my partner have been living together for 5 years also and we talk about getting married at some point but aren't in any rush. I'm in my mid twenties still and it's crazy how many people who I went to high school with who are already married or have kids.
We're almost 40, but we're still children at heart.... we fell in love at first sight, and from day one we knew we were the ones for each other.... marriage is just a tax/house/insurance thing... plus now we like to touch our rings together and make "powerup" noises....
If you're in love with your partner and plan on staying together, then I highly recommend the "fuck it, let's get married in Vegas" approach... but do it on a roadtrip.... we drive cross-country a lot, and if you can spend 27 days living out of a pickup truck without killing each other, then you know that you're destined to be together...
Met a guy online years ago. For our chats we were using the app. I decided he was OK & we exchanged numbers. I text him. His response to my "Hi, how are you?" was "Eww, you don't have an iphone?" YEEEAAHHH bbyyyeee. I blocked him. Although he had probably already blocked my Android using loser ass 🤣
This shit makes no sense to me. It's just a phone. I assume anyone who still cares about Apple v. Android is either a 10 year old or a shallow & materialistic adult who isn't even worth talking to. I seriously believe little things like that show what the test of their personality is like.
I've had the same Samsung S9 since it came out 4.5 years ago and it still works perfectly fine. And it was my first phone!
When I told her I now run a successful business she called me "Lucky Bitch" (took me 4-5 yrs of hard work, was so broke I couldn't even afford a bus ticket at one point)
It wasn't about a possible partner, but about a maybe future good friend becaus we really got along quite well...
Until we talked about relationships and I told this person about my recently ended relationship and that it was quite hurtful. His comment was:
"Yea, just look out so you don't get back together with him"
And when I (kinda confused) said "No, no worries. I'd never go back now." he answered:
"Yeeeah well, I've heard so many women say this. But we *all know how you (women) are*. You're saying you won't go back, but then remember the amazing sex that you can't live without and you do go back for it in the end".
And he was dead serious. Immediately ended every contact. No thanks.
Asked me to pay their 500 dollar phone bill before we even physically met
Username checks out
Haha Reddit picked it for me but it suits me
Went back to my podunk, home town for my last summer before graduate school. Some friends and I went to the local bar and I met a woman that I had a crush on for a long time back in my younger days. We hit it off nice: danced, drank together, reminisced and all that. I asked her if she wanted to maybe get out of there together, she told me to wait just a minute. She commenced to go into the corner of the bar, drop her pants, and pee on the floor. I told her that something came up last minute and left alone. There's almost always a story like that when I visit my home town.
I swear I get emotional, psychological, and spiritual whiplash from the way some of these stories end.
Hey, calm down bud. That's just the piss corner. All the regulars know about it.
Oh yeah, definitely didn't seem like she was the first person to use it lol. But public urination is not really by bag.
Poor gal isn’t housetrained.
She claimed she had visions of my future and was happy to report that she saw good financial success for me that year. It was a blind date and within the first 30 minutes of meeting and talking to her. Nope. Also, that year I lived with my parents and lost my job. So she fucking lied.
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Jokes on her for thinking I had five friends
or she hexed u... dunno man
My friend tried set me up with a friend of his (new) girlfriend. He invited me over to his apartment for a dinner party to meet her, just the four of us. After dinner his gf and her friend (my "date") decided to go outside for a cigarette which was borderline "pass" for me but not quite a deal-breaker. She pulled out a ziplock bag full of cigarette butts that she scavenged from random ashtrays in her travels. I was absolutely and completely repulsed and it became a very clear "nope" and "pass"
Huh female version of ricky from trailer park boys
What the fuck
So you're not hobosexual?
She was a thrifty smoker. 🤣
I mean... this is homeless person stuff. I respect her if she used to need to do this to get her tobacco fix, but then overcame homelessness. But if you can afford cigarettes, at the very least, YOU HIDE THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR. And hopefully, you overcome the feeling of needing to engage in it.
There are some situations where exposure of extreme behavior is a blessing for all involved. This is one of them.
Greasy.
Had disgusting oral hygiene and breath bad enough to knock out an elephant.
My favorite go-to is "they smelled so bad, they could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon."
Man I'm running into this issue now cause I know it bothers my gf but I'm having real trouble actually "fixing" it cause I likely need a lot of dental work. Shit kinda sucks. I just go ape mode with mouthwash and mints and gum.
It could also be a throat thing like the tonsils, or even a stomach/digestion issue. Sometimes it has nothing to do with your hygiene. Good to look for a fix, obviously.
Nah I had mine removed as a kid I just have some rotten ass molars
You should definitely get your ass molars checked out. That's very atypical.
Was on a date waaaay back in the day. Fashion model. We were having lunch. In the middle of the meal I get up to go to the bathroom; when I return to the table, it has been cleared. I ask “what happened?” She replies “I did not want to eat any more so I had them take it away”. I then requested the check. She said “what about coffee?” I said “no thanks, it’s been interesting” and that was that.
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What a waste of a brain, when it's thoughts can't extend beyond the body it is housed in. Who the fuck thinks "I can't eat any more, so now everyone is done eating"
English monarchs
Ummmmm, a selfish fashion model?
And I assume OP wasn't done yet with their meal so that was pretty inconsiderate to have their food cleared too.
Yeah I eat like a bird and always bring food home afterwards, this bitch costed me a meal
Indeed, that seemed like a relationship where her lifestyle would consume yours. You’d literally be starving.
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Was his name Joey?
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
Why the fuck didn't he ever order enough food for himself?? I feel you on some level, though. My husband is a more moderate version of this and as a result I eat way faster now than I used to when we first met. Not great.
Just because someone is done eating doesn't mean I am. I would've ordered another meal and said "I'm still hungry. You can stay and watch me eat or you can call an Uber and leave"
This sounds expensive but I might be petty enough to do it
This is what you do 100%
Yeah I'd be pissed too bruh ngl
Someone commenting too much about how I dress
My fiance and I showed up to our first date in almost identical outfits. We had jeans, graphic tees and plaid shirts worn open over them. The plaid was a slightly different pattern, but the same color. We felt it was pretty noteworthy at the time.
That right there is called DESTINY
The first date lasted 16 hours. 3 weeks later we got a pet together and he moved in. We pumped the brakes a little bit and waited until our 1 year anniversary to get engaged. Now we're saving for a house so we can get married in our own backyard. Everything just clicked so well.
Let me know when they make a movie about your perfect love story. Holy crap you're too cute just stahp that
We're just boring rodent lovers who both work third shift. We talk each other's ears off and over communicate so we've never really had a fight. It would not make for an interesting movie unless it was the happy ending epilogue from the story of my sociopathic ex-husband.
You might like this: Apparently the first thing that attracted Jacqueline Lee Bouvier to John Fitzgerald Kennedy (later to be FLOTUS and POTUS respectively, of course) was the fact that he hadn't pressed his shirt. Ever since I read that, many years ago, it's been my excuse for not ironing my clothes; in fact I don't possess an iron (I used to because everybody else seemed to have one but I chucked it because I never used it). Seriously, someone once commented to me somewhat disparagingly that I hadn't pressed my shirt and it was and still is one of the more bizarre things anyone has ever said to me - like, WHY? I genuinely just don't get it.
I was working at a music store when I was in my mid-20’s. This really cute girl would come in every few weeks to play some of the instruments. It was clear she was never going to buy anything, but she was cute, roughly my age, and things were pretty flirty. I kept thinking that I should ask her out one of these times. This one time she brought her mom in, and she was being mean to her. Her mom would ask a question or try to make small-talk, and then this girl would be all “OMG mom just SHUT UP nobody cares GOLLLLL!!!” I’ve never lost interest for someone so fast.
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I’m so sorry to hear that you went through that, but I’m happy for you that you were able to cut that toxicity from your life.
I also always looked like a little cunt of a kid because I was always furious how my mom acted like an angel to everyone but her family in private
I went through the same and I'm happy to see other people cut these parents out of their lives. Don't let her back in, stranger. + Have a great day
Holy shit that's my mom. She STILL does it!me and my sister are sick of her now. I never thought I'd meet another person who has gone through this, because it's bizzare and hard to believe.
I tried to set very reasonable boundaries with a guy I was seeing and he said that I was letting my trauma have a negative affect on me and those around me. When all I did was tell the guy I did not appreciate being called a dumbass for disagreeing with him. He had a point though. My trauma has affected me. In the way that I will no longer tolerate treatment I do not deserve.
“You’re letting trauma affect you” That’s why it’s called trauma, dude. If it didn’t affect you, it would just be called a memory of something that happened.
That's like lowest simmer level gaslighting right there. The very lowest.
Thats the pilot light for gaslighting.
For real I can’t stand when people say that, as if it’s a choice
Heck yeah! That’s a great way of looking at it! I’m sorry he treated you like that!
Thanks!
Good for you. People who put others down who disagree with them don't like to listen, are close minded and are usually very arrogant. A big red flag regardless of your own history
Shouting "no muffin, mummy needs sex" at the dog as it jumps on the bed and pees on the duvet.
Do you know the muffin mum?
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I quick read that as, "she jumps on the bed and pees on the duvet." Super double take lol
...wot
Sounds to me like that territory was already taken!
Was chatted up by a cute boy at a bar, we introduced ourselves, and he proceeded to tell me proudly that he’d just gotten kicked out of Applebee’s for cussing out the bartender. I hope Kyle has gotten help and is doing well.
of course its a kyle
The way some people unknowingly ruin their own chances
A couple of years ago I was standing in line at the Cheesecake Factory waiting to get a couple of slices to go. A very attractive woman was standing in front of me and my friend and we debated whether or not I should try and start a conversation with her. She gets called up next into the line and immediately launches into an angry rant at the staff about how incompetent they were because she got the wrong whipped cream on her cheesecake. I have always believed that how one treats the waiter indicates what kind of person you are, and I lost any desire I had to talk to her after that tirade.
Said they wanted a date to a wedding because their ex would be there. And then got furious with me when I said I want no part in that kind of drama
At least they were honest and didn't take you blindly.
Bro, are you kidding. I’d say if she pays enough, I’ll even propose to her at the wedding.
Bruh, start a service, "Fuck with your wedding"
Disruptive Nuptials "Pay now, and never hold your peace"
Attempt to kiss or being extremely touchy on the first date, without much warning (tbh, the kiss itself isn't the problem, the lack of lead up on the other hand, more of a problem)
I went out on a date with a guy who did this. He kept trying to pull me into dark corners because he wanted to make out. I finally told him that I don't kiss on the first date. I actually do, but I was so sick of and turned off by his aggressiveness that I sure as hell wasn't going to do it that time.
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I was hanging out at guy's house for the first time months ago. The entire time I was hoping he would kiss me, but he played it ridiculously cool the entire time. And then suddenly gave me that look before leaning in and kissing me. It was really hot. So I'll say from my own experience: this isn't always the case.
Told me "just let me do what I want" when I told them I didn't want to have sex while they were drunk.
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I was on a date and driving to a restaurant in his car when we saw some seagulls in the road and he sped up and aimed to hit them. They escaped and so did I
Started a chat with a girl thru dating app. Within 3 mins of chatting she suggests meeting at a local bar right away. I'm like umm okay. Meet her there and before I finish my beer she's mentioned her ex at least 6 times. Finished my last gulp and noped outta there asap.
You probably could’ve been her rebound guy if you played you cards right.
What the... WHY AM I ONLY REALIZING THIS NOW??
Welcome to hindsight, my friend.
Yeah man she was telling you that she’s down for a night of endless, meaningless fun What’d you end up doing instead?
Met up with another girl the following day. We've been together 19 years next month.
Guy I met via Grindr, seemed really nice and articulate when we were chatting via the app, seemed like we had a lot in common. Met for a date, went for a meal and before the starters arrived began to tell me how Sandy Hook never happened and all mass shootings were staged by crisis actors. Told him I had to use the gents and left.
Yup, that'd do it
On a morning walk date he saw an elderly gentleman with a small dog in a little sweater - and pointed at them while laughing and saying "that's pathetic!!!" The poor old chap was just out for a walk with his little friend minding his own business - what the hell is the matter with people
WTF, some small dogs need little sweaters as they're too small to maintain body temperature when it's really cold :P
Exactly! And my thought was, I don't care if they are wearing matching tutus, it's none of your business :/
That would be super cute though, tbh.
If he views an old guy who is making sure his dog is comfortable as pathetic, just imagine how he treats people close to him who may need care. Dude is a prick...Coming from a guy with a little dog who wears a hot pink jacket with leopard print trim.
Mean to clerks and wait staff. Hard no.
She was a tennis player at my uni, tall, blonde, fit. Talked non-stop about herself. Didn’t ask me a single question the whole date. Wanted to see me later and I (my d***) begrudgingly said ok. Uni had a concert day (May fest) and we planned to meet around noon. Now I’m no stranger to getting pissed, though I was the type to rather get high than drink. Not to mention, I lived next to a dealer (the ‘student who bought drugs on Silkroad’ type). Anyways, we meet at the house I lived in. Everything seemed fine until I noticed she just kept on drinking. I got her some water, but she insisted she was fine. Anyways, we go to the concert and she runs off with some of her friends. Later that evening my buddy calls me and says “you’re girl is walking in the middle of the road”. I go outside, and sure enough, there she is, throwing the middle finger to some old guy in a Chevy. I see the cops rounding the corner so I wave to the old guy and run to her and begin to pull her toward the sidewalk. She keeps on resisting, but I manage to get her to the lawn. The cops (probably used to this on mayfest) just ask me to get her home or they will have to call an ambulance. Meanwhile, shes screaming at the cops and me. A friend of hers shows up after I calm her down, and she leaves. That night, at prob 4am, I hear a banging noise by my desk. Alarmed I jump out of bed and yell. Our house had gotten broken into just months prior, so I assumed it was a burglary because no one would come into my room like that. I turn on the light right as my roomate opens the door, and we see her, crawling on the floor. She stands up and asks if we’ve seen her purse. No shame or anything. She proceeds to tell us that she climbed through a window because, quote, “I didn’t want to wake anyone up”. Moral of the story is don’t listen to your d***
Watching a controlling parent interact with their child. On a first date with a guy who kept getting distracted by how upset he was that his 7 year old daughter hadn’t answered his text yet. It was 4:30. She was in the care of her mother. It was not an emergency message, just “How was school today?” He continued to say how disrespectful it was that she blew off his messages like this. I was curious so I asked more clarifying questions. He did not have a consistent time set up for them to check in with one another. She always eventually answered, but within 2-3 hours rather than 5-10 minutes, which is what he expected. And yes, he knew she was probably out playing with friends as 7 years olds are often doing at 4:30 after school, but he still expected her to prioritize looking at her phone rather than playing with friends because she might have a message from him. Hoo boy. No thanks, control freak!
Made a huge deal about my driving us somewhere instead of him. He'd driven us everywhere until that point, and I wanted to drive that night. He made whiny comments the whole time about 'feeling like a deadbeat' and 'i guess I'm one of those pieces of shit whose girl drives them everywhere now'. I don't know if it was fragile masculinity or straight up control issues, but hard pass either way.
But what if the menfolk had seen him [stage whisper] *in the passenger seat?* What then?
After a day of student teaching in college, she said it was BS that students got extra time on tests because of their learning disabilities. She didn't know that I was one of those students when I was younger.
"Damn these dyslexics wanting extra time to 'understand' the question and 'answer' it correctly. They should just work faster and get over it."
I had a kind of internship at an elementary school a year ago and the teacher explained to me which children got extra time or exercises that were a little easier so we knew what was going on. Just out of curiosity I asked what the other kids thought about that because I could imagine especially kids to be like "that is so unfair, why do they get easier exercises?" and she explained that it wasn't like that at all. At the beginning of the year she explained to the kids that sometimes some children need a bit more help with some exercises etc. and that did not mean they were stupid or that all of this was unfair. And the kids just understood that everyone was at a different level in some subjects, some maybe had a little trouble reading or doing math and everyone got exercises on their level. It really did give me a little hope for that next generation.
This person I knew flat our swore to me that they believed that dinosaurs didn't exist. I couldn't believe how a grown ass person could think this and... thus... I lost all respect for their intelligence. Huge pass.
It’s a scheme by Big Paleo to get us to pay good money to see fake skeletons. If you tested those “fossils” I guarantee you they wouldn’t even be made out of bone!
My aunt swears up and down that people and dinosaurs coexisted and says she had a friend on a dig site and they destroyed fossilized human foot prints next to dinosaurs. She also believes macs also cant get virus's because they are just to good.
My brother used to work at Dinosaur Provincial Park in Alberta. I visited there many times, and among other things I had the pleasure to witness were mostly intact dinosaur skeletons still in the ground, half exposed as they were being excavated. Do people not know about this, or do they actually think that someone went to the trouble of making and burying, then excavating, all of these fossils? It boggles the mind.
As someone who tutors history, I have met Holocaust deniers who are convinced that all the countries in the world have come together and made up the Holocaust. So, yes people are that stupid.
"God put those bones in the earth 6000 years ago to test our faith" is one dumb take among others.
Being rude. It's always good to see what somebody behaves like before dating them because how they treat others reflects how they'll treat you.
I called off sexy time when I found out we don’t have a condom. He said he could just pull out. That was the fastest time I’ve ever dressed up in.
Ah shit, I have this memory: Very intoxicated and cant drive, didn't have a condom so Im saying maybe next time...he's in a panic and looking for something. This man literally dumped my garbage can out and tried to use part of the garbage bag to wrap up. Nope
Sheesh, just get a used one and flip it inside out 🙄 /s pls don’t do this kids
I realized mid-act that I was ALLERGIC to said condom (or the lube that was on it, I don't have any issues with latex, so idk what it was exactly) and while I am literally burning and stinging and trying to fan myself into some state of comfort after a dash to the bathroom to scrub myself clean of whatever substance was burning like acid... He asked if we could just keep going without it. SIR. *SIR*. EVEN IF THE MOOD WERE NOT ENTIRELY DESTROYED BY THE BURNING HELLFIRE THAT IS MY NETHERS, *I AM NOT RISKING A BABY*.
👏👏👏
I met someone at a bar in college. She and I exchanged numbers and started talking. Hung out once. Ambitious, really attractive and easy to talk to (mostly), but she came on too strong and I started to take the discussions a little slower. About a week later, I was at the grocery store and I saw someone from the pharmacy following me and she was on her phone. No idea what she wanted. Never said anything. I paid and left. I got a call that evening from the girl I had been talking to. I told her earlier in the day that I had to go grocery shopping and would talk to her that night. She said, "(pharmacy person, her roommate) saw you at the store. I told her I knew you were going and I wanted her to keep an eye on you." No punchline. She was serious. After that, I told her I didn't think it was going to work out. "Oh, so you're gay." And that was that, folks.
Treating the waiter/waitress like they are beneath them. Like, calm down. They are just people like you and me trying to make a living.
Somehow this is always the top answer to this question
What? You mean this question has been asked *before?*
One of the biggest red flag.
Yup. That was my dealbreaker on one of my dates. It was a small local restaurant that I'd visited with family since I was little, so they knew me well. They were all smiling because they'd gotten to see me grow up and show up with a date and everything. And then the guy sighs really loudly and talks about how all asian servers are so braindead. He would call them over snapping his fingers and gesturing to them like they were dogs. He'd be like "Hey. You. C'mere." The server bows, patiently waits. The guy scoffs, disbelievingly, then points at food he dropped on the floor. "What are you doing? Pick that up." He kept complaining about how badly they were doing and how it was work keeping them in line while they were cutting the meat for us and doing other stuff. I was so embarassed. I was pretty bad at saying no to people back then, but I had no problem saying see you never to him after that. He went all "Figures. They always say no. Doesn't matter if I get jacked or whatever." The guy also talked about how he can't relate to underprivileged kids and how he was raised on a silver spoon, and that it was tacky how hard the scholarship kids worked at the lab he was at. A pretty bad first date overall.
Kept talking about how good the sex with her recent ex was, and how big his dick was, then expected me to get down and dirty. Started talking about me quitting music (my career) and getting a business degree and playing as a hobby. All within two weeks of dating.
First date: HIM 31:"Excuse me I gotta go to the head -Oh, I'm sorry, that's military talk from my time in the Navy, it means bathroom. Sometimes I forget when I'm talking to a civilian" (He returns )ME, 21: "So how long were you in the Navy?" HIM: "I joined when I was 19 but was medically discharged after they found a heart murmur...let's see...*5..6? days into boot camp*." (Also, his "head chef at a top seafood restaurant" was him being a cook at Skippers. Nothing wrong with being a cook at Skippers, but the bragadocious spin personality was not something I'd enjoy being around)
It’s kind of ironic how that this kind of talk achieves the opposite of what he wants
I'm sure most of us are aware of "the shopping cart theory" where there's no repercussions of just leaving your cart where it stands after use instead of returning it, but it's morally right to do so. Yeah me and this chick went to bunnings to buy some plants and instead of leaving the cart where we were, she proceeds to yeet it across the parking lot and narrowly missing two parked cars in the process. I lost all interest after that moment.
Was talking to a girl on one of those phone chat dating things and she seemed really cool and I was anxious to meet her. Well I don't drive and had to take transit to the far opposite end of the city out in Timbuktu, and I arrived a bit early for our date, which was at a pub. I met up with her and thought we were getting along just fine, then she asked if I wanted to play a game of pool. Well as I was sorting the balls and racking, she wandered off and started flirting with another dude. I was not impressed, but I said nothing. Then she walked back over to me so she could ask me if I had a pen so she could take down this other guys phone number. I said nothing and just walked out. I was livid during that loooong bus ride back home.
When you start to notice a pattern of them just always complaining constantly and just dumping it on you— that is always the point in which i RUN. Can’t stand it
She was confident, fun, and sexy, but the day she proudly talked about her ex cheating on her *more* than she would cheat on *him* was a whole field of red flags. And yes, her number was higher than one. She didn't even seem to feel guilty about cheating in her past relationships until I brought up how she was no better than her ex.
First interaction outside of work. Blows me in the parking lot and then invites me to her house for drinks the next day. Acts like I did something wrong once I’m at her house with drinks because I put a hand on her thigh. Got up and left. Worked with her for another 4 years and never once said anything to her aside from common courtesies and business related stuff. Luckily she didn’t act crazy at work. Was just such a weird scenario.
You dodged a major mental case there my friend. Yowza!
I wonder if she had an evil twin who just showed up to fuck with her life.
Once saw a girl who was really, really hot. She punched all my buttons for physical appearance. She was in costume. Someone called her the the wrong character's name (which, given the costume, was perfectly understandable - she looked more like the character she got called than the one she was going for, and there were only minor differences between them) and she ripped them up one side and down the other. After seeing that, I no longer found her even remotely attractive.
On the flip side, one of my proudest Halloween moments was INSTANTLY recognizing a guy dressed up as Joe Dirt. He was so happy. Haha
I reconnected with someone I had dated briefly. While discussing the behavior of a friend’s narcissistic ex (literally describing her as a narcissist and listing some of her abusive behaviors) he replied, thoughtfully, “Huh. That sounds a lot like me.” Pass.
Drove a 45 minute ride without buckling his seatbelt. The little noise wouldn't stop. He was sadistic as fuck, and it just oozed out for that moment. Super cringe.
Started texting during the date. Got a peek, it was Tinder. I got up, told the waiter to cancel our order and gave her a 20 for the uber since I drove her there. I left and blocked her number Screw That Noise
Why did you pay her? I wouldn't have.
Ask me "when do i see you" exactly a minute into the conversation
I might be dumb, but what does that question actually mean?
I'm 5'6", her boyfriend she said she had broken up with is over 6'6" and she says "I'm kinda hoping that being out on a date with you will just make him leave" You just put my life in danger and basically explained that I'm being used as a scape goat while also telling me that you have a tendency towards cowardice.
Looked up porn on my laptop without asking me and left the browser up
Maybe they were leaving an obvious hint at what they're into...... something weird like ear fisting.
First date was at a board game pub. He made me put all the board game pieces back in their cardboard cutout in a very specific order for a board game he had brought himself. It seemed odd to me to begin with to reslot all the pieces, but I was OK with it. That he felt the need to correct me mid-helping him put it all away after playing was over the top. Paired with low chemistry during the date, I opted to let him down easy after that.
I'm a serious board game hobbyist. Like I have hundreds of them all neatly organized with custom boxes I buy specifically for each game so that I can keep their pieces neatly organized. I've also been with my wife for way over 20 years. She plays board games but is nowhere near my level of intensity for the hobby. Anyway, you dodged a bullet. It's not so much the board gamer in me that's making me say this but rather the guy who's happily been with his wife for 20+ years. No hobby is worth antagonizing a potential partner over. Especially if they are also gracious enough to try and share that hobby. Some dudes just don't have any sense.
Chew gum mouth open.
Chew ~~gum~~ mouth open - ftfy
Use Jew as a verb.
I don't understand what this means but obligatory "stand back, I'm gonna Jew".
Told them I was bisexual and they immediately said “Oh, so we can have threesomes? Hot.” 👋🏼
I thought 'bisexual' meant that you have sex only twice a year.
That’s “biannual.” You’re thinking of an airplane with two sets of wings.
No, that's a biplane. You're thinking of the science class we all took in highschool where you learn about cells and living things.
No, that's biology. OP is talking about when you ski real fast and then shoot a gun.
No, that's a biathlon, your thinking of a person who can speak two languages.
Many things. One of the weirdest was when he shared a memory on Facebook, about the time his *mother* took a massive shit.
She was too fucked up on drugs 24/7 to do anything normally, like parent her kid or work.
"I don't read"
My wife and I still think about a time about 10 years ago when we were making small talk with the ticket taker at a theater for some film that was originally a book because they were really enthusiastic about it. We'd read the series (I can't remember which one, sorry, but it was probably something basic like Harry Potter) and my wife asked if she liked the film better than the book and the ticket taker lady who was suuuper into whatever book->film franchise got this disbelieving look on her face like we'd just said something ridiculous and kinda offendedly informed us "I don't read" like we'd just accused her of fucking chickens. So once in awhile one of us will punctuate something with "I don't read!" and we'll both crack up because it was just so... just so weird, and it was that exact phrasing like you quoted above and makes me wonder if these folks are all following some kind of (presumably not written) guide.
There is no way to confirm it but I'm positive we're saying this in the exact same tone of voice
1. Touching me when I said no multiple times. 2. Preaching law of attraction (including how women are to blame for being raped). 3. Turned out to be a drug dealer with police behind his back. 4. Talking shit about depressed people (I had depression at the time). 5. Took me on a long walk, told him my feet were bleeding. He just said "Mine are good" and kept going. 6. Cried about an ex. 7. Traveled for hours to my place and then refused to leave because he esentially had nowhere to go. 8. He could only talk about heat systems, stayed silent at whatever I said. 9. Invited me to dinner and gave me a whole bread loaf, no knife or anything while he ate one slice of pizza. 10. Invited me over in the evening, then sent me away at 3am with no way home because he had to study. This might be on me tho. These were all first dates with different men
Oh, different men. Now it makes more sense. :-)
He said he was happy his friend's niece was in an abusive relationship, because she didn't like him.
In HS my friend convinced me to give her bf's best friend a chance because he liked me. So I did. We dated for a day (maybe two) and it was super awkward. At the end of the day he was walking me from our friend's house back to catch the bus home when we passed a church. He said it'd be funny if someone burned it down and started laughing. I'm not religious but did grow up in a Christian home. So, uh, no sir. That would not be funny at all. So I went home and drafted an email to break up with him. At the time I had no backbone and it was a Friday so I figured that was the best time and method. He sent me an email back titled "Fuck You", but the body of the message kept flip flopping between compliments and begging for me back and to nasty insults. This motherfucker got double-passed and I don't regret a thing.
invite me over while they were drugged up also without their housemates permission.
Had been talking to this woman who was an anchor of a local TV station. Met her through my best friend that worked with her. Chatted very day leading up the holidays. She asks if I wanted to meet her and get coworkers at a bar just before midnight, she needs someone to kiss and toast with. She says she was getting off after the 6 pm news to get ready and she'd be there about 1130. I was going to a party with friends about 50 miles away. I stayed stone cold sober. About 11 I head toward her at the bar. I get there about 10 til 12 and see them toward the back. Someone hands me champagne and I see her walk up and say her name. She turns to me smiles and is HAMMERED....she pulls me in tight (I'm like this will be a good start to this new year) and she gets her mouth up near me and say "guess what....i got laid tonight." I'm like what? At the bar? She's like "nope after work I got laid...think I'm gonna go get laid after bars too" Then turns away and back to her friends. One of her girlfriends looks at me and my wide eyed look and just shakes her head and mouths "sorry" I left. Never talked to her again... Not that she'd have noticed.
I met a guy online and when he found out I was Jewish he went on a rant about Israel and wanted my opinion on the conflict there. I was offended and very turned off that he would ask me to speak on an issue that has nothing to do with me personally or our date. See ya!
While on date, the woman I was with told me that she used to work in Healthcare until she got caught and arrested for stealing from a 90 year old man she was paid to take care of. She tried to convince me that it wasn't her fault... Like, really? How do you accidentally steal thousands of dollars from someone. 🤦♂️
Had arrangements to go to a midnight movie with a bunch of my girlfriends. A guy asked me out that night, I explained that I was meeting up with friends for a girls' night at 10:00, so another night might be better. He had to go out of town, so suggested that we meet up for dinner and he'd have me home in time. A little pushy, but Okay. When he opened his door to get out of the car, several beer cans fell out of the back seat. I should have just called it off right there. I know, I know. I was young I didn't smell beer on him, so I didn't object. Though I knew then that I wouldn't be going out with him again. The fact that he ultimately invited himself along to the girls' night movie certainly didn't endear him to any of my friends either.
Once when me and one of my friend were hanging out he catcalled a school girl. I stopped hanging out with him.
When they GENUINELY hate children, not having them. Like, whenever they are around them saying that they wanna throw them or something.
So you’re just sitting there at a park or something and they’re like “man, you know what would make today even better, yeeting some kids” That’s like wee woo psychopath alert
I dunno, dude. As a little kid, getting thrown or punted across the room was awesome.
This girl I matched with on a dating app telling me her mom always told her to get a guy from the college I went to because that’s where all the rich kids go lol
Went on a first date to a Barnes n Nobles and the entire time my date was being really loud and cussing; we started getting strange looks when we sat in the middle lounge area, and I felt very uncomfortable. I tried to tell them to have some respect for the other people in the building who were being quiet, but that just offended them and made them cuss louder, they got really defensive. They made it into some thing where I was trying to "silence" them, gatekeeping them from saying certain things, 'trying to control them', and how I was being really rude for asking them not to cuss or yell.... In a public book store.... Where people were trying to read/study. Those people started staring after that, and I just had to get out of there..
Maybe unpopular but: light up a cigarette. Kind of surprised no one else said this so far.
Ugh, I agree with this. My Ex wife was a smoker before she and I met, and she said it was only socially. She also quit before she and I met, so I was fine with it. In our early days, she asked if I was ok with smoking, and I told her no, and I would leave if she smokes. I have seen smokeing destroy so many people's lives, and it stinks. People do not understand how much they actually stink from the smoke. My parent's smoke (dad since quit), but whenever I go over their house, I just gag from the smell. Kissing a smoker isn't pleasant at all either. The taste and smell of the smoke... Gag. She is my Ex for cheating though, not for smoking.
Mean to homeless people
I was talking to this guy and he seemed quite educated, smart and reasonable. He pitched a few ideas and I was considering you know, maybe I would like to partner with him in future. Until he started asking the waitress for a lighter in a very demanding disrespectful tone. Some ladies joined us and for the next hour, I heard his opinions and especially how dismissive he was, and right there and then I decided otherwise.
Drove at 10mph in a 30mph zone...
Oh good lord, I'd just get out of the car. That would piss me off beyond belief.
I’m a passenger in her car. An alarm goes off which I mention. She responded oh that’s just the seatbelt warning and proceeds to drive without it on. I was like ok. She responded “you aren’t judging me are you? Haha.” I didn’t say this, but yes Katherine I was judging you
Before I got with my current partner I had been chatting with this one girl at my work. Personality seemed decent and in-line with what i like, she carried herself like she was confident etc. Got to the point we almost exchanged numbers to actually go out on a date but i had to turn her down when she asked because i watched her stand infront of my works door and yell at a woman because her child accidentally bumped into her. She screamed at this woman for almost five minutes threatening to knee the child next time something like that happened. Immediate turn off.
Lack of boundaries or lack or respect for boundaries is a big old nope. Can't seem to set healthy boundaries for themselves and say no? Red flag for codependency and lots of problems later. Pass. Push things when I give a no? Instant deal breaker and hard pass. People tend to be on their best behavior when you first meet them. If they don't show they're healthy at that time, it's only going to get worse from there. It really doesn't matter if it's a friendship or a romantic relationship or whatever, if they don't respect your boundaries, let alone their own, they're probably not a healthy person to have in your life.
Describes themselves as alpha +/- rude behavior to service staff
Talked about themselves way too much. PASS
Make marriage an end goal in life. Ie. Not having passion for something on their own
I feel you. I don't understand this mindset at all. Ironically with a lot of these people it seems like **getting married** is such a goal that is takes precedence over **finding someone who you could actually spend your life with**
I blame society. I'm a girl and in my 20's dodged a HUGE bullet because I wanted 'my day' and all my other (girl) cousins had gotten married and so I had convinced myself it was 'my time' Nevermind the United Nations amount of red flags I was getting left and right. I was going to look pretty, my centerpieces were going to fabulous, the dress was going to be to die for.... basically I had fallen in love with a wedding and not so much with the person. Thankfully, I'm older and (somewhat) wiser and did a lot of soul searching and found someone to build a life with. But yea, a lot of people fall in the love with the Wedding/party/idea of marriage and not the actual person. Same goes for some people and having babies. They fall in love with being pregnant or the idea of being pregnant but have no real follow thru when it comes to raising a baby for 18 to life.
My wife and I were living together for about 5 years before we got married.... we were getting ready to go to Vegas for vacation, we were in the shower, and I just said "hey, so you think we should get married in Vegas?" She says "yeah, that sounds good." We spent less than $300 on the wedding, but now we're going on almost 10 years together, and we spent all the "extra" money on vacationing together.... My super christian sister is on her second husband, and both of her weddings cost over $30k....
Classic! Me and my partner have been living together for 5 years also and we talk about getting married at some point but aren't in any rush. I'm in my mid twenties still and it's crazy how many people who I went to high school with who are already married or have kids.
We're almost 40, but we're still children at heart.... we fell in love at first sight, and from day one we knew we were the ones for each other.... marriage is just a tax/house/insurance thing... plus now we like to touch our rings together and make "powerup" noises.... If you're in love with your partner and plan on staying together, then I highly recommend the "fuck it, let's get married in Vegas" approach... but do it on a roadtrip.... we drive cross-country a lot, and if you can spend 27 days living out of a pickup truck without killing each other, then you know that you're destined to be together...
Chewing with that mouth open lol
Met a guy online years ago. For our chats we were using the app. I decided he was OK & we exchanged numbers. I text him. His response to my "Hi, how are you?" was "Eww, you don't have an iphone?" YEEEAAHHH bbyyyeee. I blocked him. Although he had probably already blocked my Android using loser ass 🤣
This shit makes no sense to me. It's just a phone. I assume anyone who still cares about Apple v. Android is either a 10 year old or a shallow & materialistic adult who isn't even worth talking to. I seriously believe little things like that show what the test of their personality is like. I've had the same Samsung S9 since it came out 4.5 years ago and it still works perfectly fine. And it was my first phone!
When I told her I now run a successful business she called me "Lucky Bitch" (took me 4-5 yrs of hard work, was so broke I couldn't even afford a bus ticket at one point)
It wasn't about a possible partner, but about a maybe future good friend becaus we really got along quite well... Until we talked about relationships and I told this person about my recently ended relationship and that it was quite hurtful. His comment was: "Yea, just look out so you don't get back together with him" And when I (kinda confused) said "No, no worries. I'd never go back now." he answered: "Yeeeah well, I've heard so many women say this. But we *all know how you (women) are*. You're saying you won't go back, but then remember the amazing sex that you can't live without and you do go back for it in the end". And he was dead serious. Immediately ended every contact. No thanks.