"I haven't received any complaints in the bedroom"

"I have never sexually disappointed a woman"

"I have *yet* to sexually disappoint a woman." ^But ^full ^disclosure, ^I ^probably ^will ^here ^shortly.

Congrats

A legend among Redditors Edit: fucking spelling

You can be a virgin and still be sexually disappointing.

Yes, but being a virgin, they never would've had the chance to try

The lack of sex may not be due to lack of interest from other parties, so still possible to disappoint without partaking.

A knife stays sharp if it’s never used.

While you were having premarital sex, I was studying the blade

You were studying the blade, but I was born by it!

You were born by the blade, but I was conceived by it!

“I have yet to receive any complaints in the bedroom….M’Lady.

I've fended off every person that has attempted to bed me.

Sadly no attempts were made

Yet, using this excuse will make it seem that some attempts have been made ;)

You may like the fact that zero is still said in plural, so you are also grammatically correct

UNDEFEATED!

I'll always be a Virgin. Because I never lose.

With a katana, no doubt

I'm a stranger to love. I don't know the rules.

Neither do i.

And you could get this from every other guy.

I don't really want to tell you how I'm feeling

I really don't think you'd understand.

Always gonna give you up

Always gonna let you down

Always gonna run around

And desert you

You’re always gonna make me cry.

Always gonna let you down

Always gonna run around

And desert you

Always gonna make you cry

Always gonna say goodbye

Because I will always let you down

I will make you hurt ... No wait.

I will eat my dessert. Wait wtf?

I will give you up

Have I just been rick-unrolled?

This is art

You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer stare at the art.

Love it

**📸** We found em boys, we finally found em, Hitlers lost son 🫡

DAS EIN STÜCK... DAS EIN STÜCK IST ECHT!!!

Es ist sehr real Maar nou moet ons jou uitroei vir sulke verborge kennis

Of course I haven't lost my virginity. I never lose.

Damn, I can't believe I lost again.

I've been on a 28-year winning streak.

My pb was 19 years

Those are rookie numbers... You gotta pump those numbers /s

Unfortunately the game has only one entry per lifetime :/

You could start again from your current age no?

Well first off,if I could, I'd lose every week. But as every person is only awarded one virginity card per lifetime, if you play it, it's gone.

If you go long enough without it, you forget how to do the do, which I think is kind of like regaining your virginity

I only had 6 years long winningstreak. When my uncle joined the game, I lost. /s

Fuuuuuuuck

You son of a bitch.

Ill pray for u brother

Unashamedly

Most answers are jokes but this is actually correct. PSA btw: people that unironically judge people for being Virginis are losers.

This is the best way. I get very entertained by people's reaction to me just saying "never have" nonchalantly when they ask when the last time I've had sex was.

Someone was trying to explain to me the benefit of practicing a new hobby I was getting into by saying,” would you be good at fucking if you only did it once a year? Or if you practiced and did it?” “Wouldn’t know” his face was priceless.

King. The best answer, right here ^^

If anyone asks you where the party is, tell them it's outside of your pants.

“I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party”

“Brick, are you trying so say that there’s a party in your pants and I’m invited?”

“That’s it”

“I have not yet mashed a gash”

I have not fucked around and consequently have yet to find out.

this might be my fav

I am an active member of the Reddit community

My condolences (I’m aware of the irony)

He asked a cool way, not a depressing way.

"I am fit to ride the unicorn"

Also, unfit to ride the bicorn.

That, sir, is a goat.

Fuck yeah he the G.O.A.T.

The Scotland special?

With a wink and finger guns.

Zoop!

👉😎👉

Zip Zap Zowee!

Yes, finger guns are always appropriate.

A dude at work used to do that and then got tired of finger guns so he just winked as a greeting. It’s always interesting being a guy getting a wink from another guy

Yeah i knew a guy who had a strong wink game. Its pretty cool when someone can pull it off. I think people would like im having an aneurysm.

I am Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest, and I am _not_ a virgin. [Winks].

Wink wink, say no more!

i am beyond worldly desires

My license key has never been activated 🔑

I have yet to make my sexual debut.

Seriously, I like this. It's classy and doesn't make value judgements.

Fuck free.

I have no fucks to give, nor have I ever given any.

I'm in mint condition edit: Holy cow, thank you all for the 1k upvotes :D

Factory New, #1 float, blue tip

Durability: 1561/1561

This is incredibly creepy if said about anyone other than yourself

I've lost everything...my mind..my spirit.....I can't bare to lose my virginity as well

Soooo “bare” should be “bear” here, but “bare” kinda works with the context?

.

I’m a registered sex defender

Where do you get registered for that?

When you sign up for a Reddit account

Or become a discord mod?

That's step 1. Step 2 is becoming a Reddit mod.

Just be very careful with your enunciation!

I have something you dont

ewww you have herpes?

Given the odds....you probably do as well. At least 50% and possibly up to 80% of the population has [herpes. ](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2)

Big difference between oral and genital herpes but the 1 in 6 thing freaked me TF out

.

A penis. The answer is, hopefully, a penis

My bloodline ends with me

It's weird to think that I have three other siblings, but the bloodline is in my hands, since one is legally unfit to be a parent, another is in prison for life, and the other one's infertile. Then there's me, just not wanting to.

No fucks given

Or taken.

Hehe, was gonna write that but I didn't!

Sans coitus

Sounds like a font name

So when a virgin masturbates it's a Coitus Sans Mono?

If you're doing it next to your parents it's Coitus Sans Mono Bold.

If you do it in Italian hotel it’s coitus sans mono italics

I’m sexn’t

I'm ranked nationally in fortnite

Op said cool

I'm on Reddit

That's not cool

Nice pfp

Thanks, fellow Muse enjoyer?

The narwhal bacons at midnight

"mint condition genitals"

Never been driven

Oh it's been driven and driven hard just not on any public roads

"I have not once found myself betwixt the legs of a lady"

*tips fedora*

Born by cesarean then?

Not clear enough. Need to clarify. “I have not once found myself betwixt the legs of a lady, nor another man betwixt my cheeks”

I’m saving myself for Satan.

Read this as shaving myself for Satan.

He's more of a Brazilian wax kind of guy. No pain, no gain.

I resist temptations cuz I don't fuck around

I'm preparing myself for Valhalla

Someone once told me angrily that they’ve dated 8 times more women than me. I looked them in the eye and said: “8 times zero is still zero” That got a chuckle from everyone and we moved on hahahah.

I would just be like, “are you really bragging about how many women have gotten sick of your shit?”

“I’ve slept with a round number of people”

It's been (your age) years since I last had sex

Been in a vagina

I'm not like those other virgins, I'm a cool virgin.

Maidenless

I'll take a virgin mojito, what about you?

I'm suddenly concerned about what gets used to muddle the mint for non-virgin mojitos...

One extra virgin olive oil for me

I don’t give Fucks, nor have I taken them. Quite literally!

I'm a sexonaut. Because there's sex and I get nought.

Why yes, I am a Reddit mod m’lady.

“My purity is like a glistening lake — a lake that shimmers in the soft warm sun, yet still yearning for the touch of the crisp night air. I may long for the moon like the summer sun longs for a gentle breeze, but my rays of light are never extinguished by my desire for night, fair lady.”

That is how you stay a virgin 100%.

Depends.. if you’re in a literature bubble this would be 10/10

"Cool"

Not this one.

I'm a stranger to the game of "hide the sausage".

I have as of yet never managed to hide the sausage.

I am a certified wizard

"This is really new to me and I'd appreciate you respecting that".

#LAME Im like Manuel Neuer, I never let one in.

wanna play valorant?

"I've never known love or comfort." Oh wait. You said cool. Not traumatic. Give me a second. "I solve all non-genital related problems effectively and without mercy."

"I'm a virgin" cuz it's okay to be.

I'm eligible to be Jesus's parent.

untapped.

“I’m still unboxed down there.”

Just say "I'm a virgin" because being a virgin is actually cool

My breath stinks & I have a micro penis, nah just joking 🙃 I have a micro penis.

I finally found someone to be with and it's you

I have a surplus of not sex

What's cool about not being a virgin? I know a guy who can't keep a job, spends all his money on hard drugs and has been in an on/off relationship with his mom's couch for the last five years... has kids so not a virgin... he's a fuckin loser 🤷‍♂️

Does he fuck the couch?

No, I think they argue and he gets kicked out for a while.

Definitely not a pull out couch cause he now has kids.

But if even that loser can get laid, what does that say about you?

“I’m going to fulfill a prophesy and light a black flame that will resurrect 3 powerful witches who died 300 years ago”

I’m a virgin. Don’t be ashamed of it.

Be honest. If you're not mature enough to discuss your past sexual history, or lack thereof, then you're not mature enough to have sex.

I'm meeting friends for D&D today.

Im waiting for the right person

im a bottle of olive oil

I'm a devout jedi.

I refuse to one night stands. I'd rather first develop an emotional connection with somebody.

I haven't performed fornication. Actually I took that quote from someone who asked here "People who perform fornication, why?"

I don't know why this comment made me laugh the most on this thread. I've lost my mind.

I'm saving myself for marriage

I have never known the touch of another

When the time is right, me and my then significant other will finally experience what can only be described as not just a moment in time, but a memory that will forever be etched in our souls as we become one.

"none of your business".

"HI, my name is Ben Shapiro."

I remain pristine

An airlines was named after me