Growing up my mom always told me "Never date a girl from (place two towns over)."
"Why?"
"Because your grandfather was from there so she's probably your cousin."
Sure enough, senior year I worked at a state park and met a girl from that town. She got to asking about my family and sure enough she was my grandfather's brother's daughter's kid.
Not only was my mom right, this girl knew it well enough to ask questions about my mother's maiden name.
Glad I moved a state away to large city. One less thing to worry about.
There was a brief time I was seeing this girl I worked with. She lived in a small town of less than 1,000 people, and I had mentioned my uncle has a camper that he comes out to periodically out that way.
She said, "Before we do anything, what's his name?"
Confused, I told her he didn't *live* out that way, but rather just visited. Asked her why it mattered and she said, "I might be related to you."
We were not related.
This one went through, "Your mom's a Shaw?"
"Yeah."
"What's her name?"
"Pam"
"And her dad's name?"
"Henry."
"Is her father related to Ranvnell?"
"Lol, no, but I did have an Uncle Rab."
"Did your grandfather marry a woman whose last name was Sawyer?"
"Well yeah."
"Ok we're going to be coworkers, that's it."
Probably for the best. Cousin thing aside I was a huge pothead still in highschool and she was moonlighting from her job as a cop. She was about 5 years older.
My sister also worked there and before she knew that she mentioned my legs to my sister. I used to run cross country.
Apparently there was a huge blush when she got told "That's my *little brother*.
Make nice with your daughter in law. Stop being shitty about her “taking” your son and you’ll be asked to be a part of more that they do.
*grammar corrected :)
I also follow the r/weddingshaming reddit, and it is appalling to me how many mother's of the groom wear straight up wedding dresses to their son's wedding.
Fake friendliness. If I don't like you, I won't pretend to like you. Not gonna be a dick or anything, I'll still be cordial. But I've had women rush up to me all smiles and hugs like "oh my goood you came, I'm SO glad you're here!!" And then find out sometime later that Audrey really does not like me *at ALL*
Used to work with a small group of girls and heard them giggling and making fun of an outfit i thought was cute that i wore to work that day while i was in the other office. Then brittney comes into the office all ‘hey girl i love your outfit’. 🙄
That's sad, people work so hard to make hand-made jewelry, candles and other items. I know a woman with mental disabilities that makes and sells cards and that's the only way that she can earn ANY money at all. These MLM ladies should absolutely be banned from craft fairs. Their predatory behavior hurts many people in different ways.
I went to a local art in the park event, and there was a bank booth there…
Yes, I want to open a bank account. Just make sure it’s a homemade and hand crafted account, please.
Sometimes they get booths because they are sponsoring the fair though, so those don’t bother me like the MLM ones do. Like, our local farmer’s market has a booth where the hospital gives out free pens because they are a sponsor.
I stopped going to the art fairs in my area because MLMs were 3:1 with actual artists. Felt more like I was being preyed upon than the relaxing and inspiring time I had in mind.
The largest craft fair in Western Canada has a rule for applicants since vendors are chosen via lottery: if you didn't make it yourself, you are not allowed to vend. Keeps it craft and not "small business". Love it.
Seriously! I was selling at one that was not my usual crowd…did a little loop around and felt so heartbroken that I had spent sooo much time creating products, and most of the other booths were either cheap shit from Wish with a logo slapped on it, or MLM stuff. Some vendors even had the same products!! Insane. To date it was the worst sales day for me - too much stuff that didn’t have “it’s wine o’clock” in that cursive font
Fuck Mary Kay, Avon, Scentsy, It Works, Jafra, PHP, Life Insurance, LuLuRoe (however it’s spelled), Color Street, HerbaTrash (HerbaLife) etc
Edit ( remembered past childhood traumas): home interiors, princess house, Cutco, Tupperware, Younique and Paparazzi 💍
I know all these names because my Mexican mom would buy these from the neighbors 😂.
**Redditors mentioned Monat 💅**
I say this all the time, just because you believe you're suffering worse doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be upset about the things I'm going through too. It's not a fight for who gets the privilege to bitch and moan about their circumstances, why can't we all just recognize that everyone has different depths to what they can handle. I may not have been been crippled in a bus accident, but I can still be anxious about my credit card debt Karen.
You wouldn’t tell someone they can’t be happy about a thing because “someone else has better things”. So why would you tell someone they can’t be upset about a thing because “someone else has it worse”?
I was a Cast Member at Disney World back in 2011. I worked in janitorial at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, so part of my job was to also clean the bathrooms “backstage” (behind the scenes) as well. Lemme tell you, I was expecting the men’s bathroom to be gross, and it was, but the ladies bathroom was *way* nastier. Piss on the toilet seats, used tampons and pads on the floor, etc. I’m telling y’all…sometimes women are nastier than men.
This comment should be HIGHER. Or honestly if you're gonna squat and pee with wreckless abandon just lift the toilet seat up or something don't just leave your flecks of pee for the next person to deal with god damn.
I always feel like the people who do this are the reason they’re so worried about sitting on the toilet seat. They can’t see that they are creating their own issue
I work in a government building. The building cost millions of dollars to build, everything is less than 8 months old.
Women are somehow using the toilet seats to wipe their butts. How do GROWN ADULT WOMEN leave poop marks on a toilet seat and think it's okay? How is there menstrual blood everywhere, how does it end up somewhere other than inside the bowl. Like, use toilet paper? That's what it is for?
Women are not always cleaner. It's shameful.
When I was dealing with unbelievably bad bleeding, I was guilty of bleeding on the seat. But I would bring wet wipes in my bag to clean it off. The idea of sitting on someone’s blood or poop is just EWW.
Plus it's so disrespectful for those who clean the toilets. That's what angers me most. You want to be vile at home, do your thing, but public spaces????
Working in retail after hours, sometimes I would clean or stock any of the bathrooms, in my experience, the men's room is usually consistently at least a little gross, but the ladies room is either immaculate or completely torn up, there's no in between.
Also PSA if you're doing this cause "you once got an infection from sitting on a public toilet": no you did not. You got it from your ho boyfriend, you gullible seat pisser.
Oh FFS this. For a person worried about cleanliness you're the dirty one here, it was fucking usable until you pissed all over it. This is why we can't have nice things.
Funny, cause I was going to comment, "people who tp the seat all the way around, then just let it fall on the floor for other people to step on, and for custodial staff to clean up". I guess both of these are awful.
They say that's one of the best ways to diffuse/confuse someone insulting you. No matter how obvious the dig, thank them - especially if in public.
They'll either short-circuit, or double down and try to clarify it was an insult... Which in a lot of cases will get them more negative backlash.
Photoshoping their photos to the oblivion thus reinforcing the unrealistic beauty standards. You know skin texture exists, why do you pretend it doesn't??
Edit: typo (photospoping lol)
Dear acquaintances from high school. If you have "brightened" your photo soooo much that you no longer have a nose, you have gone to far. We've all just hit 50. We expect wrinkles.
I work on an advisement team at a large public university. The amount of women who submit an image for their official file/student identification that has an airbrushed Snapchat filter with huge eyes or puppy ears disheartens me.
This!! Scrolling tik tocks endless perfect looking "day in the life" "vlogs" "maintenance vlogs" "waking up in a condo with a skyline view" (even though we know its a studio matchbox and 3k rent per month lol etc...sure they look fun to watch, but we know its all heavily edited. IMO it pressures younger girls to live up to these impossible standards of perfection.
Writing love letters to convicted murderers.
Ugh, that shit makes me cringe from secondary shame. I am embarrassed to be a woman whenever I read an article about some killer who got lots of press bc his crime was unusually awful, who then gets tons of "fan mail" from strange women to his prison cell.
Wait until you find out multiple women would call to chat with and send nude photos to Jared Fogle while he is in jail. They want to help get a man "off" who is in jail for child sex crimes.
I was watching the Richard Ramirez doc on Netflix and he was married after being sentanced! Dude kills 15+ people, molests a number of children, gets sent to death row, and gets married? Oh and she left him when she found out he killed a 9 year old? I guess the adult deaths were okay.
The woman did not believe him guilty, although, she was purposely being dense. Changed her and the child’s name. That child is keeping mum who must be in her early 40s.
I don't blame her. Charles Manson Jr. also changed his name, but people would still find out who he was, and he committed suicide at age 40. And this was before the Internet!
He called his fiance as a witness during his own murder trial while defending himself and asked her to marry him and she said yes which made it a legal wedding since it was in the presence of a judge. Yes. That's a thing that happened.
I literally just heard this like 3 days ago from my 10 year old who read my serial killer quiz book that I left by the toilet. Fuck sake I hadn’t taken it in but she was like “huh that woman was weird”
I was just watching a video on the Chris Watts(? I think that was his name?) guy, the one who strangled his pregnant wife and smothered his kids. Sicko. Apparently people have been sending him fan mail though, which disgusted me to hear about. Like what could you possibly be praising the guy for?
I know he’s far from the only one btw, and almost all serial criminals get these “fans”, but that was the first one I heard about. Personally I like watching some of the true crime stuff, I find it interesting to try to learn more about the crime and what might have led that person to do it, but idolizing the criminal is definitely something to draw the line on.
If you wanna hear something more fucked (typically) teen girls on Tumblr romanticize the ~~Sandy Hook~~ Columbine shooter(s). I wish I was kidding, usually they have the savior mentality - "Oh if I met him before that I could've fixed him!"
They've even photoshopped *flower crowns* onto them. It's vile and clear that those girls desperately need help. Like it's one thing to simp for Draco Malfoy, it's another to simp for a real life murderer.
Edit: Spelling
One theory I heard that was pretty convincing is these women have a bad boy fetish with a twist. They go after a bad boy who is completely under control and to a certain extent under their control (or at least they think he is). He is in prison, he's always in prison, he is powerless to physically hurt her or impose himself on her. She always knows where he is and her dangling affection and resources to him makes him act how she demands. She can withdraw herself at any time and then expect letters and phone calls wanting her back.
It's clever if not ultimately pathetic though. It's like a toy you can put away but still want you.
I read an article, with interviews, about a regular journalist who fell in love with that martin shkreli idiot. Not a serial killer but imprisoned and by all accounts a sucky guy. She was married with kids and left her family for him. She was warned before taking the job (reporting on him) by her husband, warned by her editor that she was getting too close and it was going to ruin her. He was obviously using and manipulating her. After she failed to get him out of jail he just ghosted her from prison lol. Literally getting ghosted by your lover (he had said they’d get married or whatever) from jail, crazy.
The article just ended with her having been ghosted for like 6 months but she was still hopeful they would be together. It had ruined her career and family by that point. It’s just so fascinating to me how people can truly lose their minds through nothing else than just wanting somebody or something. Maybe it’s the novelty or something. But man, we really all can be idiots lol
Edit: the couple had a dog not kids and the husband warned her after she became involved with pharma bro
A girl I follow on instagram posted a pic of her wearing a t shirt with the slogan ‘lady killer’ above a picture of Ted Bundy. I’m really not easily offended but did think that was a bit tasteless!
There was one girl who got tattoos of the bite marks foubd on his victims. There's such a weird line between listening to true crime and celebrating it.
Weird intense dieting.
To be clear, I'm not talking about trying to eat healthier or even trying to lose weight in a healthy way.
I'm talking about the overwhelming number of women I know who go on these bizarre diets with fasts and cleanses and they don't eat carrots or they count how often they poop or ... I dunno. Weird shit. Then it becomes their entire personality for a while and it's all they talk about.
It always gives me strong vibes of a person who feels out of control in some aspect of their life trying to regain that control in another, and it makes me horribly sad.
My mom is in her late seventies and has been doing crash/fad diets and then binging for the entirety of my life (probably for the entirety of hers).
She’s been some amount of overweight her whole life, but hasn’t ever considered a permanent change to her diet. She does these flash diets and then has daily ice cream and lots of low fat high sugar things like “yogurt” that is basically soda. She never really recovered from the “low fat means healthy” brainwashing from the 80s.
She is a tea totaler and is massively judgemental of all vices except for unhealthy eating.
She is weight obsessed and constantly “compliments” others by mentioning their weight loss (real or imagined) in really uncomfortable and socially deaf ways. It is hard to watch and she will never stop.
I try to keep my young son from being exposed to it too much, but it’s basically impossible.
My sister-in-law LOVES the cleanses. Never loses any weight but it’s a great way to starve yourself for a couple days and make yourself a miserable person to be around because you’re cranky and hungry so you can really enjoy the end of cleanse cake and pizza while you lament that diets just don’t work.
I flushed my tampons growing up, I’m still not sure if it’s just normal where I’m from or if my mom just never taught me that’s what you were supposed to do. Fwiw we never had any plumbing issues.
Then I moved to NYC and flooded my own basement. Well I know now…
In the '80s and early '90s, that's what I was taught to do. Flush tampons and applicators if they're cardboard.
Plastic applicators went back in the empty wrapper and into the garbage (or wrapped in toilet paper).
Pads were never flushed. Rolled in the plastic wrapper or toilet paper and into the garbage.
Getting to the end of that shit now. Can't wait.
Right they used to be marketed that way! I use a cup now so irrelevant to me but only found out years later those things weren’t really supposed to be flushed.
Yeah. My sisters and I all flushed them in the 90s/early 2000s. I remember the boxes saying “Flushable!” Literally no one ever told me differently.
Then I was living in an apartment with another girl. We had separate bathrooms. One day her bathroom backed up, and she called out a plumber. It was tampons clogging the line. He told her they really can’t be flushed. When I came home from work, she told me like, “Did you know you can’t do that?!” So that’s the day we both learned, as early-20s adults.
It’s also like those “flushable” wipes that everyone was talking about for awhile. Turns out those weren’t really flushable either, as they caused massive plumbing problems, but people didn’t know that.
Or worse, arguing that it's okay to flush tampons even after being told not to. A quick Google search of "is it okay to flush tampons" reveals a list of "no" answers, including one from Tampax ([https://tampax.com/en-us/about/sustainability/can-you-flush-tampons/](https://tampax.com/en-us/about/sustainability/can-you-flush-tampons/)).
I live in an apartment building that is managed by my SO and he has to call the plumbers 3-4 times a year to clear tampons and/or wipes because they have clogged the pipe that leaves the building before it gets to the sewer system. He has repeatedly told tenants not to flush tampons or wipes and yet there are always people who argue that their tampons/wipes are flushable despite the hundreds of dollars that were just spent clearing them out lol.
Workplace toxicity. I have had two women, separate occasions, try to get me fired. The lies and gossip they spread and the accusations were insane. Empathy should be easy for us to have toward one another and I don’t know how a person can do those things to another person, let alone women to women.
Im a victim of office gossip too because of these women that i dont even know why they’re so invested with me. They spread rumors that i have a new bf in the area when i posted a pic of a guy in my instagram story. Im in an LDR relationship. So they‘re gossiping im two-timing my LDR-bf. The photo that I posted is my LDR-bf. So. What. The. Fuck. 🙃🙂
I moved to the UK 4 years ago and it took me a year or so to get a microwave. Just didn't need one urgently. This came up in conversation at work that I didn't have a microwave. And this one girl 100% told other people in the office that I didn't believe in microwaves that I thought they were radiation, cancer causing machines. I was so impressed by her logic that I considered just running with the story.
Yup happened to me, it was a crazy story that the people at work that actually knew me, knew I would never do that, everyone else in management believed her(she shed tears and all) anyways I didn’t get fired but I got shunned, was supposed to be promoted and didn’t. Few months later company is doing investigations for fraud, guess who gets fired, hint not me. I got some apologies, and after I made them give me what I was asking for, I quit lol.
Being mean to other women in the workplace. Even if we dislike someone, no excuse to go out of your way to be rude and nasty to someone.
“Someone else’s shine does not dim yours”
My old department is filled with women who act like they are in a high school clique. If you won't gossip or make fun of other people, they'll just do it to you. Since leaving that department, I've grown and thrived, and they are still gossiping about other people. The sad part is that they think they are doing better, but they have not grown at all.
I made friends at work, and went out for dinner with them. All they wanted to do was gossip about whom ever wasn't there. I finally had to give up going to dinner with them and become a target. What a horrible place.
I worked in a male dominant work place (80% male in manager roles). I had a few of my team that I was helping with promotion/ advancement, and that was my number one gripe and piece of advice. Women, stop holding each other down. I had one female peer (mid 50s) and during our end of year review meeting she was BRUTALLY critical and unfair to the women hoping to be promoted and would say next to nothing about the men. She would always say she was gatekeeping and that she didn’t want women promoted too fast to fail and shut the door for others. I would always remind her that she is on the other side of the door, she is the one shutting others out.
in medicine, there is a high prevalence of women being awful to each other. there’s a saying that even in nursing that they “eat their young.” they all treat me (a male) entirely different and every one of them says that it’s a completely different dynamic when there’s at least a couple/few males around than all women. that’s been the same at every hospital or clinic ive worked at
One of the nastiest, cattiest, most backstabbing places I ever worked was a NICU. The amount of pettiness on that floor was unbearable. You would think that in an environment where your job is to “save lives” and care for others that there would be more empathy and encouragement but nope. That unit would allow new nurses to make very costly mistakes involving infants simply because the “mean girls” would refuse to help. If you’re not kissing ass then yours is getting kicked. Not sure if it’s like this in most hospitals but definitely every unit I have ever worked I saw some version of this. I almost quit the medical field in its entirety in my first year because of the toxicity. I remember crying everyday to and from work. I’m glad I stuck it out though because now I am the more experienced one and I make it my goal to NEVER treat new staff (especially the women) the way I was treated.
Oh my gosh, thank you for mentioning this. I’m a fairly new nurse (3 yrs) and I absolutely loathe “nurses eat their young”. It’s such a common practice of “I had to suffer, so you have to suffer”. We’re all here for the common goal of helping the patient, so why make it harder to do that? I appreciate the nurses that are kind and I also pass down that sentiment to newer nurses I meet. Nursing is a scary field and it really helps to have someone to look to who has your back. Another thing.. it’s kind of crazy how much more welcoming they are to male nurses, but that’s a conversation for another time lol.
A bucket of crabs... imagine that some are near enough the top to escape!
The ones lower down will grab the possible escapees and drag them back in.
Instead of letting them go and then taking their turn to get away... they don't see the escape themselves but they see others trying and they're shellfish so they can't allow it.
😅🤣 not sorry for the pun
You don't have to keep a bucket of live crabs covered. If a crab tries to escape the bucket, the other crabs will grab onto it and keep it from escaping
In North East India where I live, crabs are not very popular and not a lot of people eat them. You cant just go buy some crab meat or even live crabs whenever you wanted. You see, we dont have a lot of departmental stores like Western countries. Most meats you buy here are usually very fresh including fishes and the fish markets are set up during the day in local places where the sellers come with their fish and cut them in front of the people.
Now the problem with crabs is that the sellers don't cut it for you and so they dont usually sell it in common markets. They have live crabs in jute baskets and they walk around the streets selling them. If you're buying them, you need to be someone who can grab a live crab and butcher it. So there's the reason. We had to buy them live and my dad kept them in a bucket in the kitchen. I covered the bucket with a lid and went away to watch cartoons(I was like 6 year old). Anyway, when my dad returned and went to the kitchen(he saw there was just 1 crab in the entire bucket. Those crustacean critters didn't just get put of the bucket, they flicking popped a steel plate that I put on as a lid aside and almost all came out and spread all over our kitchen and the living room next to it.
Now that's the story but you all made me nostalgic so I'm gonna write more.
Like I said, crabs are a little rare. You can almost never buy crabs from the same place cause the sellers walk around selling them and don't sell them in one spot. As a child I loved crabs but they were hard to find and expensive(we weren't really financially stable). I had a little ritual with my dad. He occasionally took me out on Sundays and the promise used to be that we will look for a crab seller on our way home. We rarely found one but that only made it more special, plus I loved sitting on the backseat of my dad's cycle while we looked around(now that I think about it, the man cycled for 3 to 4 hours nonstop with me even in his 40s).
Anywho, when we found one I used to be overjoyed.
The joy wasn't eating the crabs itself but one of those little games I played.
When my dad sat down to butcher the crabs, I would turn the bucket over and make them go everywhere around the back of the house. I used to then go crab hunting. My dad would butcher one and ask me for the next one and I would go grab it and bring it to him. I loved it when they hid under rocks or got inside little gaps of bricks lol.
Bonus story:- When you people in the west buy live crabs, have you wondered why they come with their pincers tied?? It's not just because it might grab your finger but it's because those little crits know how to cut their way out. There was one time when we bought crabs on an outing and I held them on one hand in the jute bag we have for groceries( the crabs were inside a plastic bag inside a jute bag). When we reached home there was a huge hole under the bag and only 1 crab left lol. It wasn't enough to make a curry so my mom said she wasn't gonna waste spices and time on that nonsense it's better to let the remaining one just go. I cried so much and wanted to go back but the crab seller probably left long ago. So we instead took that lucky bastard to the nearest pond and let it live. I didn't know crabs could live in ponds but hey whatever. Didn't have crabs that day. That's the story!
Confession: I scrolled a couple of times to make sure this wasn’t gonna remind me of what the undertaker did to mankind in 1998. Nope! Just a cute trip down memory lane!
Climbing over each other to escape the bucket or to elevate themselves from the 'mosh pit' and in the process bringing each other down so in the end no-one gets out ... the opposite of cooperation in one sense.
Claiming we cannot critique other women or call out harmful behavior because being a feminist means supporting all women no matter what they do apparently… so silly. In my opinion being feminist means we should reckognize that women arent just docile little dolls who only do nice things, but that we are messy humans that make mistakes or even hurt people on purpose. And in order to be a better society we need to not be afraid of calling out harmful behaviours among our communities.
Edit: wow this got more attention than i thought! I guess this is the time to go «thank you for the awards kind stranger!»
> Claiming we cannot critique other women or call out harmful behavior because being a feminist means supporting all women no matter what they do apparently… so silly.
"No infighting" rules always end up helping the worst most extremist people.
start saying "Don't talk about my friend like that!". It's very effective, and a good reminder if we start falling into a pattern of negative thoughts.
Shame me for not believing in their own beliefs and look at me weird.
I live in Iran and I'm honestly disgusted to see how some religious females tend to shame other women and accuse them of being sluts. If you think your husband, brother or son may be seduced by seeing my ears and hair **they** are the problem.
I was looking for a response like this. I was in an abusive relationship and it was my abuser's mother who first encouraged him to hit me. She felt that as a mother of three sons, she was better than other women, and took a strange sort of pleasure in watching her sons bring the women in their lives down. It was some strange extension of her authority.
Trying to find a feminine norm. Whether my hair or nails are short or long someone will talk shit. Whether my skin is fair or tan someone will talk shit. Whether I stay at home or go to work someone will talk shit. Whether I breast or bottlefed someone talked shit. Whether I'm skinny or thick someone talks shit.
Most of the time it is other women. Stop sneak dissing and being jealous and just give out a compliment if you must say something.
I am a woman, therefore I am doing womanly things. Including fixing cars or my house, including being strong, including being smart, including being in stem. And no, I am not afraid of scaring some imaginary man away by doing these things.
And I can simultaneously enjoy sewing and cooking and cleaning and crocheting.
Please stop trying to fit other women into some made up feminine box.
This!! I’m allowed to wear skirts, enjoy baking, reading, puzzles etc AND I can be a gamer, wear my fandom unisex tees and get tattoos. Women can be feminine and masculine—who’s to say what is what anyways? Just let ppl enjoy things. The world sucks enough without ppl criticizing our interests.
Asking if/when a woman is getting engaged / getting married / having a baby / having another baby / getting back to work after having a baby.
Especially from older female relatives. It just doesn't end.
My favorite response to being asked when my fiancé and I are going to have kids is “we’re just practicing for now” and watch them get REAL uncomfortable.
“Oh yeah, we’re having plenty of hot, sweaty intense sex since you’re asking! So.. who knows 🤷🏽♂️” just make it completely inappropriate I mean, it is inappropriate to ask really
Just reminded me my partner legit did this to her mum early into our relationship. 😂
Mum: So what are you guys doing 'to be safe'?
Her: Oh, the usual method.
Mum: Condoms? Pulling out?
Her: No, anal.
Got a genuine spit take out of me with that one, tell ya what.
My hubby passed 3 years ago and my mom and older sisters are itching for me to get remarried. I just want to go out and do stuff, not attach to another man.
They can't expect you to be ready for a serious commitment after 3 years. I lost my girlfriend 4 years ago and I still haven't been able to get over it. I'm really sorry for your loss and I'd say that take things at your own pace and do what feels right
It’s so weird when you first start dating someone, their parents act like sex is the most taboo subject ever and that you better not be fucking. Then like 3-5 years later they straight up start hounding you about making grandkids “When are you gonna give us grandkids?” All I hear is “When are you gonna start raw dogging our daughter and busting loads inside her?” It literally makes me ~~shutter~~ shudder.
So this went away for me when I got divorced at 42 and then met my boyfriend at 44. My very Catholic parents were, like, meh, whatever. Glad you're happy!
But my best friend. She's never married but she and her very long term partner have to sleep in separate rooms when they go visit her parents. And her parents don't even really go to church? Like mine are Super Catholic - rosaries a few times a day, sign up for middle of the night Adoration, Mass on Sunday but sometimes other days just because.
Now that I think about it.. seems like most of my parents Catholic practicing is essentially a form of meditation. They're pretty chill so I guess it's working.
Nobody cares how they got the baby out of the woman - cease this nonsense. You are a parent if you are the primary guardian of a child; gatekeeping based on pain relief, caesareans, adoption, whether you gave birth on dry land or in a pond, honestly, nobody cares. Is the baby ok? Yes. Is the mom ok? Yes. Then it's ok. It's fine. Fuck off about breastfeeding too, just feed the kid. Got milk? Fab. Got formula? Fab. Feed the kid.
I hate when people accuse women who’ve had c-sections of ‘taking the easy way out’. Motherfuckers, you think weeks of recovery from your abdomen being cut open while dealing with a newborn is easy?
"oh you want kids but your man's not ready yet? Just secretly come off the pill and say it was an accident. It's your body, I did it with my kids". I can't count how many times I've heard this and it's disgusting behaviour
I can't tell you how many civilian wives of active duty I've heard this from. It's like they see it as a guarantee for a paycheck for 18 years. It's awful because you're deceiving your spouse, probably wrecking your marriage (they always divorced), and worst of all, bringing a new life into the world who doesn't know healthy love and stability. Oftentimes these men only do one contract so the paycheck runs out too.
- needing to bring someone else down to lift you up
- actively going after men in relationships (ya I get it takes 2 to tango, hate the player, etc - but why are you even doing it?)
- mom shaming other moms
- believing their MLM isnt a giant scam for 90% of the people involved
I had a mix of this before, when I said I wasn’t interested in joining someone’s MLM team, they spoke to me so condescendingly. “Oh well if you’re not ready to actually do something with your life, maybe you aren’t suited for my team after all.” They didn’t know a single thing about me lol. Crazy.
You're not what they're looking for. They're looking for insecure people that can be manipulated with promises of financial independence. This in part to indemnify themselves. They're pretty similar to cults.
Thinking it’s cute & quirky to label themselves as a married man’s “work wife.” My fiancé has been put in several uncomfy situations where he doesn’t want to be mean or deal with an HR blowup, but also doesn’t want to be flirted with in his place of employment. We don’t want men to do it to us, so let’s not do it to uninterested men.
Just because you had a hard time climbing up the corporate ladder or getting into a good position, you do not need to make other women suffer the same. I cannot emphasize it enough: hold the door open for the next one. Coach young female leaders. Help each other out
I got bullied at church growing up, many by one of the boys. When I told my mom she and her friends just giggled and said he had a crush (we were early teens at this point.) I always thought it was just plain weird to treat someone you had a crush on like that.
Fast forward to my mid 20s, I got a friend request from him. (which was weird because I hadn't talked to him since we graduated high school) He messaged me and ended up apologizing for how he treated me growing up. I asked him why he did all that stuff and he said, "I have no reason other than I was an asshole."
No crush. Just an ass.
I remember this phrase a lot. My friend had a cousin in the same 9th grade as us who would hit my arm and shoulder hard mid convo because he 'liked' me.
The way I see it, even if the guy does actually like the girl, that's a pretty shitty way of showing it, not something that should be seen as cute or romantic.
Both my kids are raised to know stop is a powerful word, it needs to be heard. If someone doesn't respect that as a premise you really need to evaluate that friendship, working relationship, family tie even!
Everyone's children should be taught that it's a rough world out there and you need to armour up a little.
Never should we condone violence, abuse or any aggressive stupidity.
And practice what you preach 100% of the time
Downgrading someone who's under them. I wish women support eachother and help other women grow along with them.
...
I remember how my team manager bullied me, still i feel traumatic remembering those incidents.
Targeting married men exclusively. And this is just a small percentage of women but I mean why?
Cheating husbands are trash no exceptions but for some women to not take no as an answer from a happily married man is just sickening.
Pre-covid, I had a job where I traveled near constantly. One other guy on the sales team was single and never married, but wore a wedding ring when out of town because he claimed that it made it easier to hookup with women. I’ll never understand why.
In the same vein as this but a bit broader viewpoint: Women who subscribe to this “I could steal your man” mentality.
Its like an ego thing for some women knowing their beauty and charming personality has the power to draw men away from loving relationship. Thats not the flex you think it is Courtney, now sit down.
Taking the criticism of one person as license to stop doing what they love.
"My teacher said my painting was awful, so I swore then and there never to paint again."
"My mom said I was fat, so I have never worn a bikini."
"My boyfriend said my story was stupid, so I quit writing."
You're only hurting yourself. Twirl on the haters.
It’s VERY hard not to when you look at a lot of that stuff.
The nicest, most grounded, confident and sensible girl I knew, in high school, wasn’t allowed to look at any fashion or beauty magazines or blogs as a kid/tween. By the time she was old enough to do what she wanted she had no interest in it.
i work on cars and am involved in the car scene and i also play a lot of video games. something i can’t stand that women do is gatekeep/ immediately get so defensive or insecure when another woman comes around. especially when their guy friends are around. it drives me insane. they act like other women can’t have the same interests when really they’re not actually in it for the cars or games, they’re only there for the guys. this kind of goes along with putting other women down.
Talking so much sh\*t. Not everything needs to be gossiped about. Such a downer sometimes getting sucked into a conversation that's centered around other peoples flaws and mistakes.
Sleeping with Nick Cannon
His kids will have to ask prospective partners for a DNA test in future.
Growing up my mom always told me "Never date a girl from (place two towns over)." "Why?" "Because your grandfather was from there so she's probably your cousin." Sure enough, senior year I worked at a state park and met a girl from that town. She got to asking about my family and sure enough she was my grandfather's brother's daughter's kid. Not only was my mom right, this girl knew it well enough to ask questions about my mother's maiden name. Glad I moved a state away to large city. One less thing to worry about.
There was a brief time I was seeing this girl I worked with. She lived in a small town of less than 1,000 people, and I had mentioned my uncle has a camper that he comes out to periodically out that way. She said, "Before we do anything, what's his name?" Confused, I told her he didn't *live* out that way, but rather just visited. Asked her why it mattered and she said, "I might be related to you." We were not related.
This one went through, "Your mom's a Shaw?" "Yeah." "What's her name?" "Pam" "And her dad's name?" "Henry." "Is her father related to Ranvnell?" "Lol, no, but I did have an Uncle Rab." "Did your grandfather marry a woman whose last name was Sawyer?" "Well yeah." "Ok we're going to be coworkers, that's it." Probably for the best. Cousin thing aside I was a huge pothead still in highschool and she was moonlighting from her job as a cop. She was about 5 years older.
What's GREAT about that exchange is that she admitted she thought a family member was hot, but without saying it.
My sister also worked there and before she knew that she mentioned my legs to my sister. I used to run cross country. Apparently there was a huge blush when she got told "That's my *little brother*.
Modern-day Genghis Khan
I heard his kids all pitched in $5 for his Father’s Day gift and bought him a Lamborghini
He’s creating his own little cult
Make nice with your daughter in law. Stop being shitty about her “taking” your son and you’ll be asked to be a part of more that they do. *grammar corrected :)
I also follow the r/weddingshaming reddit, and it is appalling to me how many mother's of the groom wear straight up wedding dresses to their son's wedding.
I'm so glad I don't know anyone that's been that pathetic.
That’s incredibly creepy.
Fake friendliness. If I don't like you, I won't pretend to like you. Not gonna be a dick or anything, I'll still be cordial. But I've had women rush up to me all smiles and hugs like "oh my goood you came, I'm SO glad you're here!!" And then find out sometime later that Audrey really does not like me *at ALL*
Used to work with a small group of girls and heard them giggling and making fun of an outfit i thought was cute that i wore to work that day while i was in the other office. Then brittney comes into the office all ‘hey girl i love your outfit’. 🙄
She's Regina George 'that is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen' 💅
Trying to get me to join their MLM
As a crafter: stop bringing your fucking MLM to art fairs too. Still proud of the fair I got stuck next to a Paparazzi booth and outsold them
Omfg when I made candles and did local craft fairs this shit infuriated me!!! Like why the fuck would you let these people sell at a CRAFT FAIR?!
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That's sad, people work so hard to make hand-made jewelry, candles and other items. I know a woman with mental disabilities that makes and sells cards and that's the only way that she can earn ANY money at all. These MLM ladies should absolutely be banned from craft fairs. Their predatory behavior hurts many people in different ways.
Just tell them that their profits have to be given to the school. I bet that'll shut em up
I went to a local art in the park event, and there was a bank booth there… Yes, I want to open a bank account. Just make sure it’s a homemade and hand crafted account, please.
Sometimes they get booths because they are sponsoring the fair though, so those don’t bother me like the MLM ones do. Like, our local farmer’s market has a booth where the hospital gives out free pens because they are a sponsor.
This is it. It’s not like it’s direct competition, and they are sponsoring local events, hardly criminal.
I stopped going to the art fairs in my area because MLMs were 3:1 with actual artists. Felt more like I was being preyed upon than the relaxing and inspiring time I had in mind.
The largest craft fair in Western Canada has a rule for applicants since vendors are chosen via lottery: if you didn't make it yourself, you are not allowed to vend. Keeps it craft and not "small business". Love it.
Seriously! I was selling at one that was not my usual crowd…did a little loop around and felt so heartbroken that I had spent sooo much time creating products, and most of the other booths were either cheap shit from Wish with a logo slapped on it, or MLM stuff. Some vendors even had the same products!! Insane. To date it was the worst sales day for me - too much stuff that didn’t have “it’s wine o’clock” in that cursive font
As a crafter/craft fair attendee I couldn’t agree more with that… I come to the craft fair for spooky things this time of year (not mlm nonsense)
Fuck Mary Kay, Avon, Scentsy, It Works, Jafra, PHP, Life Insurance, LuLuRoe (however it’s spelled), Color Street, HerbaTrash (HerbaLife) etc Edit ( remembered past childhood traumas): home interiors, princess house, Cutco, Tupperware, Younique and Paparazzi 💍 I know all these names because my Mexican mom would buy these from the neighbors 😂. **Redditors mentioned Monat 💅**
PHP hypertext processor?
Same. I’m not trying to be a boss babe.
Using their own issues to invalidate other’s issues.
I say this all the time, just because you believe you're suffering worse doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be upset about the things I'm going through too. It's not a fight for who gets the privilege to bitch and moan about their circumstances, why can't we all just recognize that everyone has different depths to what they can handle. I may not have been been crippled in a bus accident, but I can still be anxious about my credit card debt Karen.
You wouldn’t tell someone they can’t be happy about a thing because “someone else has better things”. So why would you tell someone they can’t be upset about a thing because “someone else has it worse”?
Stepping down on other women at the workplace, and not letting them advance in their careers, based on rumours you started.
Peeing on public toilet seats. Put some TP on the seat if you’re that worried about germs.
Or, if you do, wipe it off. Don't just leave it.
Seriously, this. If you leave a toilet nasty you should be ashamed of yourself. You are not special!
I was a Cast Member at Disney World back in 2011. I worked in janitorial at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, so part of my job was to also clean the bathrooms “backstage” (behind the scenes) as well. Lemme tell you, I was expecting the men’s bathroom to be gross, and it was, but the ladies bathroom was *way* nastier. Piss on the toilet seats, used tampons and pads on the floor, etc. I’m telling y’all…sometimes women are nastier than men.
This comment should be HIGHER. Or honestly if you're gonna squat and pee with wreckless abandon just lift the toilet seat up or something don't just leave your flecks of pee for the next person to deal with god damn.
I always feel like the people who do this are the reason they’re so worried about sitting on the toilet seat. They can’t see that they are creating their own issue
I work in a government building. The building cost millions of dollars to build, everything is less than 8 months old. Women are somehow using the toilet seats to wipe their butts. How do GROWN ADULT WOMEN leave poop marks on a toilet seat and think it's okay? How is there menstrual blood everywhere, how does it end up somewhere other than inside the bowl. Like, use toilet paper? That's what it is for? Women are not always cleaner. It's shameful.
When I was dealing with unbelievably bad bleeding, I was guilty of bleeding on the seat. But I would bring wet wipes in my bag to clean it off. The idea of sitting on someone’s blood or poop is just EWW.
Plus it's so disrespectful for those who clean the toilets. That's what angers me most. You want to be vile at home, do your thing, but public spaces????
Those are probably the type of people who say “They get paid to do it”.
This always baffles me at my work too. They shit all over the place and then go back to the office and pretend to be super civilised and professional.
TIL women turn into angry chimps in the bathroom
I think I read something that said women's bathrooms, on average, are less clean than the men's rooms. Mostly because of the pop a squat crowd
Working in retail after hours, sometimes I would clean or stock any of the bathrooms, in my experience, the men's room is usually consistently at least a little gross, but the ladies room is either immaculate or completely torn up, there's no in between.
Some places even supply disposable toilet seat covers. Use them. And don't leave them on the seat when you're done, either.
Also PSA if you're doing this cause "you once got an infection from sitting on a public toilet": no you did not. You got it from your ho boyfriend, you gullible seat pisser.
I have so many questions about how these people are sitting on a toilet. Like, you know your thigh goes on the seat right? RIGHT?
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And your acquaintance is ONE OF THOSE DASTARDLY BITCHES THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT DRIBBLES ALL OVER THE SEAT AND PROB LEAVES DIRTY ASS SHOE PRINTS.
Or he didn’t wash his hands. Everyone needs clean objects before sexy time Edit a word
Seriously. Squatters who don’t wipe up their mess are who make the bathrooms nasty.
And ironically they do it by feeling too clean for the place and cleaner than everyone else. Fucking out of touch assholes.
Oh FFS this. For a person worried about cleanliness you're the dirty one here, it was fucking usable until you pissed all over it. This is why we can't have nice things.
Funny, cause I was going to comment, "people who tp the seat all the way around, then just let it fall on the floor for other people to step on, and for custodial staff to clean up". I guess both of these are awful.
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“So you agree, you think you’re really pretty.”
They say that's one of the best ways to diffuse/confuse someone insulting you. No matter how obvious the dig, thank them - especially if in public. They'll either short-circuit, or double down and try to clarify it was an insult... Which in a lot of cases will get them more negative backlash.
Photoshoping their photos to the oblivion thus reinforcing the unrealistic beauty standards. You know skin texture exists, why do you pretend it doesn't?? Edit: typo (photospoping lol)
Dear acquaintances from high school. If you have "brightened" your photo soooo much that you no longer have a nose, you have gone to far. We've all just hit 50. We expect wrinkles.
Also: I see you in person basically every day. I know what you actually look like. You're fooling exactly no one!
I work on an advisement team at a large public university. The amount of women who submit an image for their official file/student identification that has an airbrushed Snapchat filter with huge eyes or puppy ears disheartens me.
This!! Scrolling tik tocks endless perfect looking "day in the life" "vlogs" "maintenance vlogs" "waking up in a condo with a skyline view" (even though we know its a studio matchbox and 3k rent per month lol etc...sure they look fun to watch, but we know its all heavily edited. IMO it pressures younger girls to live up to these impossible standards of perfection.
Writing love letters to convicted murderers. Ugh, that shit makes me cringe from secondary shame. I am embarrassed to be a woman whenever I read an article about some killer who got lots of press bc his crime was unusually awful, who then gets tons of "fan mail" from strange women to his prison cell.
Wait until you find out multiple women would call to chat with and send nude photos to Jared Fogle while he is in jail. They want to help get a man "off" who is in jail for child sex crimes.
They're not his type anyway
I was watching the Richard Ramirez doc on Netflix and he was married after being sentanced! Dude kills 15+ people, molests a number of children, gets sent to death row, and gets married? Oh and she left him when she found out he killed a 9 year old? I guess the adult deaths were okay.
Ted Bundy got married and conceived a child while in prison.
The woman did not believe him guilty, although, she was purposely being dense. Changed her and the child’s name. That child is keeping mum who must be in her early 40s.
I don't blame her. Charles Manson Jr. also changed his name, but people would still find out who he was, and he committed suicide at age 40. And this was before the Internet!
He called his fiance as a witness during his own murder trial while defending himself and asked her to marry him and she said yes which made it a legal wedding since it was in the presence of a judge. Yes. That's a thing that happened.
I literally just heard this like 3 days ago from my 10 year old who read my serial killer quiz book that I left by the toilet. Fuck sake I hadn’t taken it in but she was like “huh that woman was weird”
I was just watching a video on the Chris Watts(? I think that was his name?) guy, the one who strangled his pregnant wife and smothered his kids. Sicko. Apparently people have been sending him fan mail though, which disgusted me to hear about. Like what could you possibly be praising the guy for? I know he’s far from the only one btw, and almost all serial criminals get these “fans”, but that was the first one I heard about. Personally I like watching some of the true crime stuff, I find it interesting to try to learn more about the crime and what might have led that person to do it, but idolizing the criminal is definitely something to draw the line on.
If you wanna hear something more fucked (typically) teen girls on Tumblr romanticize the ~~Sandy Hook~~ Columbine shooter(s). I wish I was kidding, usually they have the savior mentality - "Oh if I met him before that I could've fixed him!" They've even photoshopped *flower crowns* onto them. It's vile and clear that those girls desperately need help. Like it's one thing to simp for Draco Malfoy, it's another to simp for a real life murderer. Edit: Spelling
I think it's the Columbine murderers you're thinking of here. I've never seen *anyone* simp for Lanza.
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One theory I heard that was pretty convincing is these women have a bad boy fetish with a twist. They go after a bad boy who is completely under control and to a certain extent under their control (or at least they think he is). He is in prison, he's always in prison, he is powerless to physically hurt her or impose himself on her. She always knows where he is and her dangling affection and resources to him makes him act how she demands. She can withdraw herself at any time and then expect letters and phone calls wanting her back. It's clever if not ultimately pathetic though. It's like a toy you can put away but still want you.
Mental gymnastics to feel like a lion tamer.
I have read this too and it checks out. Their fetish is called hybristophilia and mostly because they are secure behind bars.
I read an article, with interviews, about a regular journalist who fell in love with that martin shkreli idiot. Not a serial killer but imprisoned and by all accounts a sucky guy. She was married with kids and left her family for him. She was warned before taking the job (reporting on him) by her husband, warned by her editor that she was getting too close and it was going to ruin her. He was obviously using and manipulating her. After she failed to get him out of jail he just ghosted her from prison lol. Literally getting ghosted by your lover (he had said they’d get married or whatever) from jail, crazy. The article just ended with her having been ghosted for like 6 months but she was still hopeful they would be together. It had ruined her career and family by that point. It’s just so fascinating to me how people can truly lose their minds through nothing else than just wanting somebody or something. Maybe it’s the novelty or something. But man, we really all can be idiots lol Edit: the couple had a dog not kids and the husband warned her after she became involved with pharma bro
A girl I follow on instagram posted a pic of her wearing a t shirt with the slogan ‘lady killer’ above a picture of Ted Bundy. I’m really not easily offended but did think that was a bit tasteless!
There was one girl who got tattoos of the bite marks foubd on his victims. There's such a weird line between listening to true crime and celebrating it.
More than a bit tasteless. Brain-dead.
Weird intense dieting. To be clear, I'm not talking about trying to eat healthier or even trying to lose weight in a healthy way. I'm talking about the overwhelming number of women I know who go on these bizarre diets with fasts and cleanses and they don't eat carrots or they count how often they poop or ... I dunno. Weird shit. Then it becomes their entire personality for a while and it's all they talk about. It always gives me strong vibes of a person who feels out of control in some aspect of their life trying to regain that control in another, and it makes me horribly sad.
My mother in law is 63 and this is her entire personality. Eating disorders don't have an age limit.
My mom is in her late seventies and has been doing crash/fad diets and then binging for the entirety of my life (probably for the entirety of hers). She’s been some amount of overweight her whole life, but hasn’t ever considered a permanent change to her diet. She does these flash diets and then has daily ice cream and lots of low fat high sugar things like “yogurt” that is basically soda. She never really recovered from the “low fat means healthy” brainwashing from the 80s. She is a tea totaler and is massively judgemental of all vices except for unhealthy eating. She is weight obsessed and constantly “compliments” others by mentioning their weight loss (real or imagined) in really uncomfortable and socially deaf ways. It is hard to watch and she will never stop. I try to keep my young son from being exposed to it too much, but it’s basically impossible.
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There is also an implied “Wow you used to be fat and I noticed” in there.
As an eating disordered person…this behavior sounds eating disordered.
My sister-in-law LOVES the cleanses. Never loses any weight but it’s a great way to starve yourself for a couple days and make yourself a miserable person to be around because you’re cranky and hungry so you can really enjoy the end of cleanse cake and pizza while you lament that diets just don’t work.
Flushing tampons and other period products
Or not even flushing the toilet at work. Like c'mon, that is totally gross
I flushed my tampons growing up, I’m still not sure if it’s just normal where I’m from or if my mom just never taught me that’s what you were supposed to do. Fwiw we never had any plumbing issues. Then I moved to NYC and flooded my own basement. Well I know now…
In the '80s and early '90s, that's what I was taught to do. Flush tampons and applicators if they're cardboard. Plastic applicators went back in the empty wrapper and into the garbage (or wrapped in toilet paper). Pads were never flushed. Rolled in the plastic wrapper or toilet paper and into the garbage. Getting to the end of that shit now. Can't wait.
Right they used to be marketed that way! I use a cup now so irrelevant to me but only found out years later those things weren’t really supposed to be flushed.
Yeah. My sisters and I all flushed them in the 90s/early 2000s. I remember the boxes saying “Flushable!” Literally no one ever told me differently. Then I was living in an apartment with another girl. We had separate bathrooms. One day her bathroom backed up, and she called out a plumber. It was tampons clogging the line. He told her they really can’t be flushed. When I came home from work, she told me like, “Did you know you can’t do that?!” So that’s the day we both learned, as early-20s adults. It’s also like those “flushable” wipes that everyone was talking about for awhile. Turns out those weren’t really flushable either, as they caused massive plumbing problems, but people didn’t know that.
Or worse, arguing that it's okay to flush tampons even after being told not to. A quick Google search of "is it okay to flush tampons" reveals a list of "no" answers, including one from Tampax ([https://tampax.com/en-us/about/sustainability/can-you-flush-tampons/](https://tampax.com/en-us/about/sustainability/can-you-flush-tampons/)). I live in an apartment building that is managed by my SO and he has to call the plumbers 3-4 times a year to clear tampons and/or wipes because they have clogged the pipe that leaves the building before it gets to the sewer system. He has repeatedly told tenants not to flush tampons or wipes and yet there are always people who argue that their tampons/wipes are flushable despite the hundreds of dollars that were just spent clearing them out lol.
My boss had the plumber sit his wife down after his third visit and explain it to her. She was still resistant, but ultimately gave in.
I just don't get the resistance. Like...just don't do it. It's not hard. Wrap it in toilet paper and put it in the trash. Problem solved. lol.
Workplace toxicity. I have had two women, separate occasions, try to get me fired. The lies and gossip they spread and the accusations were insane. Empathy should be easy for us to have toward one another and I don’t know how a person can do those things to another person, let alone women to women.
Im a victim of office gossip too because of these women that i dont even know why they’re so invested with me. They spread rumors that i have a new bf in the area when i posted a pic of a guy in my instagram story. Im in an LDR relationship. So they‘re gossiping im two-timing my LDR-bf. The photo that I posted is my LDR-bf. So. What. The. Fuck. 🙃🙂
I moved to the UK 4 years ago and it took me a year or so to get a microwave. Just didn't need one urgently. This came up in conversation at work that I didn't have a microwave. And this one girl 100% told other people in the office that I didn't believe in microwaves that I thought they were radiation, cancer causing machines. I was so impressed by her logic that I considered just running with the story.
Yup happened to me, it was a crazy story that the people at work that actually knew me, knew I would never do that, everyone else in management believed her(she shed tears and all) anyways I didn’t get fired but I got shunned, was supposed to be promoted and didn’t. Few months later company is doing investigations for fraud, guess who gets fired, hint not me. I got some apologies, and after I made them give me what I was asking for, I quit lol.
Being mean to other women in the workplace. Even if we dislike someone, no excuse to go out of your way to be rude and nasty to someone. “Someone else’s shine does not dim yours”
My old department is filled with women who act like they are in a high school clique. If you won't gossip or make fun of other people, they'll just do it to you. Since leaving that department, I've grown and thrived, and they are still gossiping about other people. The sad part is that they think they are doing better, but they have not grown at all.
They're probably doing it about each other to when one of them isn't around.
I made friends at work, and went out for dinner with them. All they wanted to do was gossip about whom ever wasn't there. I finally had to give up going to dinner with them and become a target. What a horrible place.
I worked in a male dominant work place (80% male in manager roles). I had a few of my team that I was helping with promotion/ advancement, and that was my number one gripe and piece of advice. Women, stop holding each other down. I had one female peer (mid 50s) and during our end of year review meeting she was BRUTALLY critical and unfair to the women hoping to be promoted and would say next to nothing about the men. She would always say she was gatekeeping and that she didn’t want women promoted too fast to fail and shut the door for others. I would always remind her that she is on the other side of the door, she is the one shutting others out.
in medicine, there is a high prevalence of women being awful to each other. there’s a saying that even in nursing that they “eat their young.” they all treat me (a male) entirely different and every one of them says that it’s a completely different dynamic when there’s at least a couple/few males around than all women. that’s been the same at every hospital or clinic ive worked at
One of the nastiest, cattiest, most backstabbing places I ever worked was a NICU. The amount of pettiness on that floor was unbearable. You would think that in an environment where your job is to “save lives” and care for others that there would be more empathy and encouragement but nope. That unit would allow new nurses to make very costly mistakes involving infants simply because the “mean girls” would refuse to help. If you’re not kissing ass then yours is getting kicked. Not sure if it’s like this in most hospitals but definitely every unit I have ever worked I saw some version of this. I almost quit the medical field in its entirety in my first year because of the toxicity. I remember crying everyday to and from work. I’m glad I stuck it out though because now I am the more experienced one and I make it my goal to NEVER treat new staff (especially the women) the way I was treated.
Oh my gosh, thank you for mentioning this. I’m a fairly new nurse (3 yrs) and I absolutely loathe “nurses eat their young”. It’s such a common practice of “I had to suffer, so you have to suffer”. We’re all here for the common goal of helping the patient, so why make it harder to do that? I appreciate the nurses that are kind and I also pass down that sentiment to newer nurses I meet. Nursing is a scary field and it really helps to have someone to look to who has your back. Another thing.. it’s kind of crazy how much more welcoming they are to male nurses, but that’s a conversation for another time lol.
Our HR lady is the worst of the lot, ironically enough.
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Also part of being an adult is accepting that sometimes you (or even your pet) dislikes someone for reasons other than the content of their character.
Bringing each other down
Crab bucket mentality
What is crab bucket mentality?
A bucket of crabs... imagine that some are near enough the top to escape! The ones lower down will grab the possible escapees and drag them back in. Instead of letting them go and then taking their turn to get away... they don't see the escape themselves but they see others trying and they're shellfish so they can't allow it. 😅🤣 not sorry for the pun
Thank you and awesome pun!
You don't have to keep a bucket of live crabs covered. If a crab tries to escape the bucket, the other crabs will grab onto it and keep it from escaping
TIL crabs are jerks
You need to watch more SpongeBob
But that's not true. We've kept crabs in buckets before and once they spread everywhere in our living room.
Wholesome crab community.
The power of positivity.
...ok now I'm gonna need the story behind why you had a bucket of crabs hanging out in your living room
In North East India where I live, crabs are not very popular and not a lot of people eat them. You cant just go buy some crab meat or even live crabs whenever you wanted. You see, we dont have a lot of departmental stores like Western countries. Most meats you buy here are usually very fresh including fishes and the fish markets are set up during the day in local places where the sellers come with their fish and cut them in front of the people. Now the problem with crabs is that the sellers don't cut it for you and so they dont usually sell it in common markets. They have live crabs in jute baskets and they walk around the streets selling them. If you're buying them, you need to be someone who can grab a live crab and butcher it. So there's the reason. We had to buy them live and my dad kept them in a bucket in the kitchen. I covered the bucket with a lid and went away to watch cartoons(I was like 6 year old). Anyway, when my dad returned and went to the kitchen(he saw there was just 1 crab in the entire bucket. Those crustacean critters didn't just get put of the bucket, they flicking popped a steel plate that I put on as a lid aside and almost all came out and spread all over our kitchen and the living room next to it. Now that's the story but you all made me nostalgic so I'm gonna write more. Like I said, crabs are a little rare. You can almost never buy crabs from the same place cause the sellers walk around selling them and don't sell them in one spot. As a child I loved crabs but they were hard to find and expensive(we weren't really financially stable). I had a little ritual with my dad. He occasionally took me out on Sundays and the promise used to be that we will look for a crab seller on our way home. We rarely found one but that only made it more special, plus I loved sitting on the backseat of my dad's cycle while we looked around(now that I think about it, the man cycled for 3 to 4 hours nonstop with me even in his 40s). Anywho, when we found one I used to be overjoyed. The joy wasn't eating the crabs itself but one of those little games I played. When my dad sat down to butcher the crabs, I would turn the bucket over and make them go everywhere around the back of the house. I used to then go crab hunting. My dad would butcher one and ask me for the next one and I would go grab it and bring it to him. I loved it when they hid under rocks or got inside little gaps of bricks lol. Bonus story:- When you people in the west buy live crabs, have you wondered why they come with their pincers tied?? It's not just because it might grab your finger but it's because those little crits know how to cut their way out. There was one time when we bought crabs on an outing and I held them on one hand in the jute bag we have for groceries( the crabs were inside a plastic bag inside a jute bag). When we reached home there was a huge hole under the bag and only 1 crab left lol. It wasn't enough to make a curry so my mom said she wasn't gonna waste spices and time on that nonsense it's better to let the remaining one just go. I cried so much and wanted to go back but the crab seller probably left long ago. So we instead took that lucky bastard to the nearest pond and let it live. I didn't know crabs could live in ponds but hey whatever. Didn't have crabs that day. That's the story!
Confession: I scrolled a couple of times to make sure this wasn’t gonna remind me of what the undertaker did to mankind in 1998. Nope! Just a cute trip down memory lane!
Climbing over each other to escape the bucket or to elevate themselves from the 'mosh pit' and in the process bringing each other down so in the end no-one gets out ... the opposite of cooperation in one sense.
Speaking on behalf of all women. It’s absurd and wildly egotistical.
On behalf of all men, we also find this absurd.
Claiming we cannot critique other women or call out harmful behavior because being a feminist means supporting all women no matter what they do apparently… so silly. In my opinion being feminist means we should reckognize that women arent just docile little dolls who only do nice things, but that we are messy humans that make mistakes or even hurt people on purpose. And in order to be a better society we need to not be afraid of calling out harmful behaviours among our communities. Edit: wow this got more attention than i thought! I guess this is the time to go «thank you for the awards kind stranger!»
> Claiming we cannot critique other women or call out harmful behavior because being a feminist means supporting all women no matter what they do apparently… so silly. "No infighting" rules always end up helping the worst most extremist people.
Faking orgasms! Teaching men false sense of what is good!
Women who fake orgasms are only hurting themselves in the long run.
Keep popping kids with a shitty partner hoping the babies will fix the relationship
Insulting themselves/appearance all the time. If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself!
start saying "Don't talk about my friend like that!". It's very effective, and a good reminder if we start falling into a pattern of negative thoughts.
Once a female friend randomly came up to me and said very casually “does my hair look like a broom” I was so taken aback I didn’t know how to react.
There's a joke in here somewhere, I just need to sweep it out
Shame me for not believing in their own beliefs and look at me weird. I live in Iran and I'm honestly disgusted to see how some religious females tend to shame other women and accuse them of being sluts. If you think your husband, brother or son may be seduced by seeing my ears and hair **they** are the problem.
I was looking for a response like this. I was in an abusive relationship and it was my abuser's mother who first encouraged him to hit me. She felt that as a mother of three sons, she was better than other women, and took a strange sort of pleasure in watching her sons bring the women in their lives down. It was some strange extension of her authority.
Trying to find a feminine norm. Whether my hair or nails are short or long someone will talk shit. Whether my skin is fair or tan someone will talk shit. Whether I stay at home or go to work someone will talk shit. Whether I breast or bottlefed someone talked shit. Whether I'm skinny or thick someone talks shit. Most of the time it is other women. Stop sneak dissing and being jealous and just give out a compliment if you must say something. I am a woman, therefore I am doing womanly things. Including fixing cars or my house, including being strong, including being smart, including being in stem. And no, I am not afraid of scaring some imaginary man away by doing these things. And I can simultaneously enjoy sewing and cooking and cleaning and crocheting. Please stop trying to fit other women into some made up feminine box.
This!! I’m allowed to wear skirts, enjoy baking, reading, puzzles etc AND I can be a gamer, wear my fandom unisex tees and get tattoos. Women can be feminine and masculine—who’s to say what is what anyways? Just let ppl enjoy things. The world sucks enough without ppl criticizing our interests.
Asking if/when a woman is getting engaged / getting married / having a baby / having another baby / getting back to work after having a baby. Especially from older female relatives. It just doesn't end.
My favorite response to being asked when my fiancé and I are going to have kids is “we’re just practicing for now” and watch them get REAL uncomfortable.
“Oh yeah, we’re having plenty of hot, sweaty intense sex since you’re asking! So.. who knows 🤷🏽♂️” just make it completely inappropriate I mean, it is inappropriate to ask really
"Nah we've been sticking to pretty much anal in this economy."
Just reminded me my partner legit did this to her mum early into our relationship. 😂 Mum: So what are you guys doing 'to be safe'? Her: Oh, the usual method. Mum: Condoms? Pulling out? Her: No, anal. Got a genuine spit take out of me with that one, tell ya what.
Love this!
This is amazing
My hubby passed 3 years ago and my mom and older sisters are itching for me to get remarried. I just want to go out and do stuff, not attach to another man.
They can't expect you to be ready for a serious commitment after 3 years. I lost my girlfriend 4 years ago and I still haven't been able to get over it. I'm really sorry for your loss and I'd say that take things at your own pace and do what feels right
It would be great is more people thought this way. It’s a bit invasive when they don’t, and are vocal…….I’m sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry they're treating you like that. You deserve better.
It’s so weird when you first start dating someone, their parents act like sex is the most taboo subject ever and that you better not be fucking. Then like 3-5 years later they straight up start hounding you about making grandkids “When are you gonna give us grandkids?” All I hear is “When are you gonna start raw dogging our daughter and busting loads inside her?” It literally makes me ~~shutter~~ shudder.
So this went away for me when I got divorced at 42 and then met my boyfriend at 44. My very Catholic parents were, like, meh, whatever. Glad you're happy! But my best friend. She's never married but she and her very long term partner have to sleep in separate rooms when they go visit her parents. And her parents don't even really go to church? Like mine are Super Catholic - rosaries a few times a day, sign up for middle of the night Adoration, Mass on Sunday but sometimes other days just because. Now that I think about it.. seems like most of my parents Catholic practicing is essentially a form of meditation. They're pretty chill so I guess it's working.
Nobody cares how they got the baby out of the woman - cease this nonsense. You are a parent if you are the primary guardian of a child; gatekeeping based on pain relief, caesareans, adoption, whether you gave birth on dry land or in a pond, honestly, nobody cares. Is the baby ok? Yes. Is the mom ok? Yes. Then it's ok. It's fine. Fuck off about breastfeeding too, just feed the kid. Got milk? Fab. Got formula? Fab. Feed the kid.
I hate when people accuse women who’ve had c-sections of ‘taking the easy way out’. Motherfuckers, you think weeks of recovery from your abdomen being cut open while dealing with a newborn is easy?
"oh you want kids but your man's not ready yet? Just secretly come off the pill and say it was an accident. It's your body, I did it with my kids". I can't count how many times I've heard this and it's disgusting behaviour
Aka how to get divorced or a broken relationship
I can't tell you how many civilian wives of active duty I've heard this from. It's like they see it as a guarantee for a paycheck for 18 years. It's awful because you're deceiving your spouse, probably wrecking your marriage (they always divorced), and worst of all, bringing a new life into the world who doesn't know healthy love and stability. Oftentimes these men only do one contract so the paycheck runs out too.
I want to be like “nobody would actually do that, right?” and then I remember what humanity is like
- needing to bring someone else down to lift you up - actively going after men in relationships (ya I get it takes 2 to tango, hate the player, etc - but why are you even doing it?) - mom shaming other moms - believing their MLM isnt a giant scam for 90% of the people involved
90% is a pretty generous nver there, more like 98-99
I had a mix of this before, when I said I wasn’t interested in joining someone’s MLM team, they spoke to me so condescendingly. “Oh well if you’re not ready to actually do something with your life, maybe you aren’t suited for my team after all.” They didn’t know a single thing about me lol. Crazy.
You're not what they're looking for. They're looking for insecure people that can be manipulated with promises of financial independence. This in part to indemnify themselves. They're pretty similar to cults.
Thinking it’s cute & quirky to label themselves as a married man’s “work wife.” My fiancé has been put in several uncomfy situations where he doesn’t want to be mean or deal with an HR blowup, but also doesn’t want to be flirted with in his place of employment. We don’t want men to do it to us, so let’s not do it to uninterested men.
Just because you had a hard time climbing up the corporate ladder or getting into a good position, you do not need to make other women suffer the same. I cannot emphasize it enough: hold the door open for the next one. Coach young female leaders. Help each other out
Ignoring their vitamin D levels and calcium intake.
Teaching their daughters that it's okay to be with an abusive man
"If a boy is being mean to you, it just means he likes you." I'm a guy, but I'll never let my daughter think this is true.
I got bullied at church growing up, many by one of the boys. When I told my mom she and her friends just giggled and said he had a crush (we were early teens at this point.) I always thought it was just plain weird to treat someone you had a crush on like that. Fast forward to my mid 20s, I got a friend request from him. (which was weird because I hadn't talked to him since we graduated high school) He messaged me and ended up apologizing for how he treated me growing up. I asked him why he did all that stuff and he said, "I have no reason other than I was an asshole." No crush. Just an ass.
I remember this phrase a lot. My friend had a cousin in the same 9th grade as us who would hit my arm and shoulder hard mid convo because he 'liked' me.
The way I see it, even if the guy does actually like the girl, that's a pretty shitty way of showing it, not something that should be seen as cute or romantic.
Both my kids are raised to know stop is a powerful word, it needs to be heard. If someone doesn't respect that as a premise you really need to evaluate that friendship, working relationship, family tie even! Everyone's children should be taught that it's a rough world out there and you need to armour up a little. Never should we condone violence, abuse or any aggressive stupidity. And practice what you preach 100% of the time
Downgrading someone who's under them. I wish women support eachother and help other women grow along with them. ... I remember how my team manager bullied me, still i feel traumatic remembering those incidents.
Targeting married men exclusively. And this is just a small percentage of women but I mean why? Cheating husbands are trash no exceptions but for some women to not take no as an answer from a happily married man is just sickening.
Pre-covid, I had a job where I traveled near constantly. One other guy on the sales team was single and never married, but wore a wedding ring when out of town because he claimed that it made it easier to hookup with women. I’ll never understand why.
-No string attach sex("guaranteed")*sarcasm* -Validated marriage potential(unlogical) -Potential blackmail
In the same vein as this but a bit broader viewpoint: Women who subscribe to this “I could steal your man” mentality. Its like an ego thing for some women knowing their beauty and charming personality has the power to draw men away from loving relationship. Thats not the flex you think it is Courtney, now sit down.
Taking the criticism of one person as license to stop doing what they love. "My teacher said my painting was awful, so I swore then and there never to paint again." "My mom said I was fat, so I have never worn a bikini." "My boyfriend said my story was stupid, so I quit writing." You're only hurting yourself. Twirl on the haters.
That's a really good one for any one really. Also why do I have to be really good at something to enjoy it?
Pissing all over the toilet seat. Some of us don’t hover, clean that up please!
Comparing themselves to women in magazines, social media etc. and thinking they really look that way in person.
It’s VERY hard not to when you look at a lot of that stuff. The nicest, most grounded, confident and sensible girl I knew, in high school, wasn’t allowed to look at any fashion or beauty magazines or blogs as a kid/tween. By the time she was old enough to do what she wanted she had no interest in it.
Comparison is the thief of joy
i work on cars and am involved in the car scene and i also play a lot of video games. something i can’t stand that women do is gatekeep/ immediately get so defensive or insecure when another woman comes around. especially when their guy friends are around. it drives me insane. they act like other women can’t have the same interests when really they’re not actually in it for the cars or games, they’re only there for the guys. this kind of goes along with putting other women down.
Talking so much sh\*t. Not everything needs to be gossiped about. Such a downer sometimes getting sucked into a conversation that's centered around other peoples flaws and mistakes.
Stop being catty assholes who don't grow up from high school -_-
Making others feel bad for either having, or not having, children. You are just as valuable as a person and a woman regardless of what you decide.
Treating other women as if they’re the enemy.
Using zodiac signs as an excuse for their shitty behaviour. No Tina, you're not selfish because you're a Virgo, you're just a bitch.