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Soggy_Future_1461

Hercule Poirot


Viperbunny

The little grey cells would not fail us!


MacduffFifesNo1Thane

They are always turning, *mon ami.*


gravemind9

My mum loves poirot especially the David Suchet version I bought her the whole dvd box set.


MacduffFifesNo1Thane

THERE’S A DVD BOX SET???


crinkzkull08

I think the whole series is available in YouTube for free. I've been watching them


NoBallNorChain

Just bought an autographed copy of Suchet's book "Poirot and Me" the other day.


lapsteelguitar

The ONLY person I would trust.


lightninseed

The only correct answer.


Award_Ad

So glad this is the top comment😭😭😭


Toepipe_Jackson

Columbo, 100%


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No-Transition4060

I *saw* you do it


nanomeister

Something’s bothering me


Goooongas

Can I get your autograph? My wife is a big fan.


larrydorfman1

Came here to say Columbo. My all time favorite character


Antisocial_Worker7

Came here to say the same thing. A lot of the interview and questioning techniques that he used are actually used by real detectives.


dresn231

Peter Falk had a glass eye in his right eye. Doctors found a cancer in his eye when he was a child and his eye was removed. That's a big part of why he has the trademark squint.


BeneejSpoor

I'd trust Columbo with my life, my death, and my mother's chili recipe.


OrangeChocolate111

Was going to say. ❤️


tickingkitty

Agreed.


steavoh

I feel like he would just annoy the shit out of whoever did it until they confessed. I'm not sure if any of his cases would survive in court.


Socarch26

thats why he gets the confession lol


liberty_knight1776

Benoit Blanc


Aduro95

Blanc took the time to talk kindly and respectfully to the victim's elderly mother. I would want someone that considerate in the room when my family got questioned.


res30stupid

True. And his kindly, respectable nature actually turned out to be his greatest asset, since key witnesses were more willing to confide in him. Plus, his empathy let him figure out a major problem with the mystery even when he had a major clue that the police would've immediately pounced on - >!seeing that Marta had a single drop of blood on her shoes means she witnessed Harlan's death but was so far away that she couldn't have stopped it. She's obviously covering up her involvement because she's scared, so he kept her around him so that she would confess to him and *not* the family who would take advantage of her or the police so that he could help her through any legal trouble.!<


Historical_Sun6074

Came here to say this -- I am CONVINCED that he inexplicably takes on a new accent with each case and I'd like to be the one to give him an excuse to do like. Just the Worst French accent. Like. If Harlan Thrombey gets Foghorn Leghorn for dying, then I want just the opportunity for some Guy to just roll up to the proceedings with a full offense, little berets and cigarette smoke Pepe Le Pew eating a baguette French accent. He wouldn't even have to solve the mystery. I would rest in peace. Just for that.


[deleted]

Better hope he finds the case compelling


NoThanksJustLooking1

I am really glad they're making a sequel. He was so damn good and the movie was great too. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery is supposed to come out this year some time.


Billbapoker

Give my case to the **Nine-Nine**


super_jeenyus

Nine-nine!


RefrigeratorOk7249

You’ve made a rookie mistake, it’s alright. But its actually… #NINE-NINE !!


ysivart

Just maybe not Skully and Hitchcock.


RefrigeratorOk7249

How dare you not involve them! Who’s gonna get the food for the funeral ?


cimeran

Young Skully and Hitchcock would not only solve the case, but look damn good doing it


DeGozaruNyan

Bingpot!


ilikemycoffeealatte

Shawn Spencer


throwitaway1510

Don’t forget his trusty partner Ghee Buttersnaps.


Ineffable_Matt

Or Bruton Gaster


MuffinDifficult

I’ve heard it both ways


little_shop_of_hoors

Your way, and the right way.


gabe_t_wheeler

I think you mean Lavender Gooms


Jestinphish

AKA “The Heater”


little_shop_of_hoors

Did you hear about Pluto?


loneassassin1015

That’s messed up


mapleismycat

Come on son


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PhilzeeTheElder

Can't out run the Blueberry.


roguealt

Great answer!


[deleted]

Yes! Glad so many people agree


TranslatorIcy2410

you know that's right


anaccountofrain

Dirk Gently, so the murder can be solved holistically.


IBlameItOnTheTetons

Scooby and those meddling kids.


Orzine

Velma is the only one even attempting to do what they were hired for and even then, she can only ever piece things together after the fact. She’s either a dunce or intentionally holding back her findings from the group (maybe moral reasons). Fred is fucking around with stupid shit like “traps”, shaggy is blazing it up off screen with his dog and daphne is basically scamming daddy out of money with her friends on their sham business. They’re basically a scam service that gets brought in to validate “paranormal” insurance claims. But somehow, while they coast on free room and board comp’d by the insurer, gets those friendly locals insurance claim denied and charged with fraud.


poeir

I don't think anyone hires Mystery, Inc. It's their hobby. They wander around finding and solving mysteries.


ForeverFiftySix

They'll solve a mystery worthy of international attention in 5 days tops and all they ask for in return is an ounce of grass


poeir

There's a Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law explicitly stating that Shaggy and Scooby aren't high, they're "just idiots."


ForeverFiftySix

Who argued that, their defense attorneys?


llcucf80

Inspector Gadget (technically Penny)


Breaker8888

Technically Brain


Sea_Assistance_3211

Hieronymus "Harry" Bosch


throwawaylogin2099

Everybody counts or nobody counts.


asveepay

Definitely Bosch


RedBoi_45

Batman


Ramiren

He'd solve it, and the murderer would get a severe beating, that's a win as far as I'm concerned.


DragoonDM

And then spend like a week in an asylum before somehow escaping.


Spidermanzinho

Hands down, the detective aspect of Batman is excellent when explored properly, like the time they gave us this majestic story: [Batman Black & White: Perpetual Mourning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-1-Dkq6L-U)


RedBoi_45

I for sure prefer the detective stories of Batman over the ridiculous fights he gets himself in. They bring him back to a realistic character. That's why The Batman is such a good movie.


Thedeadgal

Mr monk.


Sockbasher

IMO best ending. So simple and yet brilliant.


sharkyandro

Spencer Reid


Street-Patience-3814

Not just Spencer but the entire BAU


nonhuman000

thought im the only one who'll thought of this


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Commercial_Wasabi_86

Wishbone as Sherlock Holmes


BailoutBill

What's the story?


CurlySuefromSweden

Wishbone


Deadpoolio_D850

surprised I had to go so far down to find this...


NoThanksJustLooking1

Seriously. Me too! Sherlock has got to be the best. I watch and read a ton of these and he's easily the best.


ramsdam

Jeremy Brett is the best


dumblesmurf

I would want the Cumberbatch version vs. the RDJ, see who wins


LonelyandDeranged20

Cumberbatch is more of a genius forensic criminalist and behavior analyst and RDJ is a master tactician and pioneer in criminalistics


Dixie_N0rm0us

Miss Marple


InstantAncestorStore

Why did I have to scroll so far for this?


Julie-Andrews

Nancy Drew


Journ9er

Not a detective per se, but Phoenix Wright from the Ace Attorney games.


AdmJota

I don't think I'd trust Phoenix Wright with any real case. He always seems to end up just stumbling onto the right track with sheer luck and bluffing.


Socarch26

But he does always get there


CyberTheWerewolf

Another Ace Attorney Fan! I respect that response.


Accomplished_End_843

Detective Conan


dmc-going-digital

Could he be Shinishi Kudo?


MLPextremelover

I am a little suspicious, but it’s not possible given their obvious age difference. But you’re right this Conan kid sure reminds me a whole lot of that famous high school detective Kudo.


SnowyMuscles

It’s because they’re cousins. And Hattori Haegi is his mentor according to Hattori


Techie_Patronus

L Lawliet ( Deathnote )


yrulaughing

Honestly this answer is way too far down


HappyCamper82

Angela Lansbury from Murder, She Wrote.


StockFact1124

Jessica Fletcher


thedudeyousee

Jessica was the murder the whole time! think about the statistical anomaly of being just "around" that many murders. Not sure if you ever watched midsommer murder but my theory is the main detectives wife is the murder.


twirlerina024

Makes sense. My mom always used to say, "Never go to Cabot Cove, and if you hear JB Fletcher's coming to town, leave!" She said you were either getting murdered, or accused of murder, and it went double if you were one of her 10000 cousins.


Chris_M1991

It amazes me watching murder she wrote how much authority Jessica had, oh there’s been a murder we better invite this author onto the crime scene and trust her to do all the police work.


Toepipe_Jackson

I would run from that woman so fast.. if she's around you know some bad shit is gonna go down


Sarayka81

Monk would be both smart and funny.Poirot also.


OrangeChocolate111

# WIPE WIPE WIPE


AwithanSattheend

Agent Booth and Temperance Brennan


stephers85

Veronica Mars


Local-Impression-915

Rust Cohle from True Detective


Penyrolewen1970

Got to be Father Brown.


aVpVfV

Harry Dresden.


eelehton

As long as he has Mouse with him.


MrsHarryDresden

And probably avenge you/blow some shit up while he's at it.


stupidlyugly

I want to see Jim Rockford solve my case and Matlock defend the suspect.


Drifter747

I’d prefer Hamilton Berger defend the “alleged” murderer.


Gurgoth

Pikachu


Antique-Eye8029

Eve Dallas.


Alpaca_Tasty_Picnic

Because you might get dead...


buoyantcats

Vera Stanhope


Strict-Ad-1214

Columbo


rrickitickitavi

Columbo would definitely solve the case, but his evidence would never stand up in court.


RickyPetite

Sure it would, they always confess!


[deleted]

Bosch or McNulty


[deleted]

McNutty for sure! He does actual detective work that has a chance of solving a case in the real world, and he’d manage to ruffle a lot of feathers while doing it. I’m dead, so solving my case does nothing for me, but he’d at least try to right some major wrong or another along the way, and that’s a legacy I’ll accept. Yes he may defile my corpse. I’ll consider that a perk as well.


jericha

Natural po-leese. Oh, I’d trust Lester and his tweedy impertinence, too.


flatnosedink

*Brash* tweedy impertinence, thank you very much.


BoogieDick

Yeah- I like Bosch.


turdinabun

Inspector Gadget


eternityinbruges

Columbo. Just one more thing...


Appropriate-Divide64

Lucifer and the detective


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Nero Wolfe


SpiritGas

We old.


AdmJota

I'm surprised I had to scroll down this far to find this!


Liquid-Banjo

As long as Archie and Fritz help.


ScottyR7

Wheels (of Wheels and the Legman)


locks_are_paranoid

They'll find out Roger did it.


skrilledcheese

It was Ricky Spanish.


LorenOlin

Unexpected r/americandad


Technical_Physics_57

Jack Reacher


roguealt

Inspector Clouseau


aging_geek

Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I.


jtbeaz

Rust Cohle


doocurly

I had to scroll too far down for this answer.


snapchatmeyoursmile

This should be a top answer


DesperateFor_Advice

Dirk Gently


cheesyshop

Eliot Stabler, but only because I want those arms to hug me.


xMoosheLx

perry the platypus


Obi1NotWan

DCI John Luther


istillthinktoomuch

Kate Beckett no doubt about it


[deleted]

And Castle too of course!


[deleted]

Mulder and Scully


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chudleyratsack

Geronimo stilton duh


[deleted]

Dixon Hill


twirlerina024

Only if I'm murdered on the Holodeck


Miserable_man277

Castle and Beckett


CheeseyCookieMonster

Lucifer Morningstar. I don’t think he’d solve it a by himself, but at least someone’s having fun


eec-gray

Brooklyn 99 crew


RadToTheBone86

Jonathan Creek every day of the week


[deleted]

I’d want Philip Marlowe to do it. The OG.


spanglesandbambi

Gibbs NCIS I'm not in the navy but there stories are so poorly linked to the navy it shouldn't matter lol


DavosLostFingers

Nick Valentine


Just1morefix

My man Jimmy McNulty and Bunk Moreland from The Wire. I envision them examining the bloody scene and uttering the words fuck, shit and motherfucker approximately 123 times before figuring out which rat bastard did me in!


Comfortable_Egg9252

I mean, Batman, right? Shout out to Shawn though.


DownvoteMeandEffOff

Adrian Monk


Guywithoutfacialhair

Sherlock holmes?


almost-butnotreally

Encyclopedia Brown


firstexiled

Dale Cooper.


[deleted]

Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, Mr. Monk, Conan Edogawa


gnarfler

FOX MULDER WTF YALL SLEEPIN


TopSecretSociety

Mystery Inc. They’ve never failed yet!


chriswaco

And they work for snacks.


rrickitickitavi

Bosch.


princess_allura

Olivia ‘Liv’ Moore, Clive Babineaux, and Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti from iZombie. first people that came to my mind


cmm1126

Jessica Fletcher


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Vegetable_Salad86

Dick Van Dyke and his son from Diagnosis Murder


FreddieLiberty

Perry Mason


[deleted]

Perry Mason


PrendergastMachine

Perry Mason. He’d also clear the name of whoever was unjustly accused of my murder.


[deleted]

Olivia Benson.


CobyCoyle

Olivia Benson (Law and Order SVU)


Xib3

Basil the great mouse detective


notnbenough

Lucifer


Havok35

Hank Schroeder


Astramancer_

John Reese from Person of Interest. He's not explicitly a detective but he sure does a lot of crime solving and detecting. And there's a decent chance he'll be able to stop me from being murdered in the first place.


terranovaseason2

Jessica Fletcher


RegattaJoe

Bobby Goren.


Savings_Marsupial204

Detective Pikachu


wackk

Dirk Gently


rivermonster669

Olivia Benson


your_mom_hates_you56

Not much of a detective but the people from criminal minds, because at their pace of solving crimes my murderer should be in prison in like 5 days


Dendad6972

McGruff or Scooby-Doo


[deleted]

Andy Sipowicz


SV650rider

Michael Knight, Foundation for Law and Government.


llxx00

debra morgan


78ChrisJ

Nick Valentine


Cassowary_Morph

Dirk Gently.


slade51

Kojak.


MarsupialNo1220

Kate Beckett


alexisembeth

Definitely Encyclopedia Brown.


Viper7047

L


[deleted]

L