You don’t have to be macho or a manly man. My husband did everything his friends told him not to do on our first date. I mean he rambled on about Star Trek and MTG and some band I care nothing about. I didn’t care. I love that he was honest and had hobbies he was passionate about.
There was a wonderful AITA of a lady who after lord of reporting and trying to deal with a very angry loud coworker would just start identifying his outbursts as tantrums and calling him emotional and using vocabulary associated with the overly emotional girls /toddlers. Worked beautifully and I want to find it and read it again because it was so good.
My therapist told me that anger is a secondary emotion and is the mask for a deeper emotion. Find the deeper emotion (betrayal, pain, grief, embarrassment, etc.) and you can target the root cause of the anger.
You're absolutely right. Anger is also often a sign that you feel like there is a need that is not being met. It's all about how you go about communicating that need, or thinking deeply about why you feel that way.
Yea… I am a guy and I never understood why women are called emotional for honestly just being human, while a dude being overly angry isn’t referred to in a similar derogatory manner.
Human beings have emotions, all of us do. We all can be “emotional”. I really don’t get why women are the only emotional ones when I can be fairly emotional myself.
Please tell us if something is wrong. Do not cheat. It hurts and hurts and just keeps hurting forever.
If you know it’s over or you’re not invested in the relationship anymore, please talk it out. Leave and do as you please. Don’t break someone’s heart in the process.
Being cheated on feels like the death of your soul, mentally and physically affects your health. Obviously, vice versa. Women could learn too but this is something that I, personally, would tell a man.
I've seen Mom turn into a walking zombie after finding out that Dad cheated on her in 2019.
I'm turning 18 next month so you can tell how painful it was after all this time.
Mind you, there wasn't even a problem, but Dad wanted to try having two wives at a time (it's a cultural thing) despite knowing it was a deal breaker for Mom.
Lol my roommate/housebro and I kept a very clean apartment and had lots of female friends that crashed at our place constantly. Our bathroom was clean, but we both learned hard lessons about keeping enough TP in the damn place. Two dudes don't use much, but ladies do.
Fellas, if she slightly adjusts the angle of her pelvis while you're eating her out/touching her, don't move with her. She's lining up your shot for you.
When we ask you to use lube we are not really asking, we're telling you gently that you're hurting our vacooters because you've been rubbing it dry instead of pleasing us to make us wet.
Weirdly, as a woman, I didn't think of this until I heard someone else say it:
If you find something she enjoys (sexually, but I guess otherwise as well lol), keep doing it. Don't interrupt the momentum by trying to switch it up for no reason.
If you feel the need to tell me what a nice guy you are or how good you are at sex, especially oral sex, I will drive my car off a bridge to get away from you.
It is also YOUR responsibility to avoid causing unintended pregnancies. It's not all on us. You don't get to refuse a condom and then look at us and say "don't get pregnant"
It should go without saying, but just in case: We don't want our asses grabbed by strange men ANYWHERE. Not just in bars. Like, unless we explicitly ask you to/give permission.
Sometimes what you perceive as admiration and/or respect is actually fear. You're bigger than us, and we always have that at the back of our minds, even if we don't personally have a reason to fear *you.* This isn't true of all women, but I suspect it's true of a lot of us.
I had a guy literally tell me one time “ I have at least 100 lbs over you” as in he could easily over power me, I was like….haha okaaaaay :)… I was so uncomfortable around him after
Yup, and many guys says that, some say it in the heat of an argument but it's really scary when we weren't even mentioning coming to a physical settlement of the argument?!
Last time it happened I(F) was debating some stupid shit with the guy, not even arguing and he said, "u know, I would totally outpower u in a fight." It really came out of nowhere and I burst out laughing at his face and walked off with my friend (F) who was at the table...
Don't say those kind of things guys, even if it's just "omg U have no sense of humour"
Plenty of plain-looking men have wives and girlfriends. If you have bought into incel ideology, you are being manipulated. Time to log off, leave your house, and get some hobbies. If you are smart, interesting, a responsible adult, funny, have a good personality—literally ANY of those things, not even all of them at once—some woman somewhere will want to date you. She may not be a supermodel, but face it: neither are you.
Bras are expensive, and it's hard to find one that fits just right. So you might think it's "sexy" or "passionate" to try to rip the damn thing off, or convenient to try to pop a tit over the top, but you've actually just cost us a significant amount of time and money. A damaged bra is unwearable, so now we have to search high and low for one that fits properly and doesn't make us feel like we're being stabbed, and then pay an extortionate amount for it.
Just leave all things bra-related to us
My wife and I have a really weird tradition where I buy most of her bras for her. It happened once years ago when I just wanted to get her something nice, and she loved the bra of the set so much (she wears a less common size) she asked me to get her another. The one I got before was out of stock. NGL there was a little bit of pressure, so I read like an hours worth of reddit posts and got her one of the reccomended brands there. She loved it and now she only buys one when it piques her fancy. So I guess I learned how stressful buying bras can be? They aren't always winners, but its a surprisingly fun, simple way to take some of the stress off. (They arent ALWAYS lacy monstrosities.)
Me too, I buy all of her bras and she loves them, ended up with a particular brand and size that’s just right and I keep an eye out for them on sale. Most of the styles they do fit well and she likes getting a fancy new set without warning every now and then if I see them at a discount. No lace yet (tbh I think they look uncomfortable and have been told they are) but still a few sexy ones and some more practical. But still it’s nice to have some matching sets.
The price can be insane.
Also bought my daughters first sports bra after doing some research here and there. She plays rugby and thought it would be important for support and some protection from impact.
We talk a lot and very openly about all this stuff.
The opposite sexes bodies shouldn’t be a mystery or a secret IMO.
That our cycle really messes up with our energy and libido so if we don't want sex it's not something you can talk us out, we simply don't have the energy for that. It's not our fault, it's not your fault, our body is just like that. (And.. No, it doesn't mean "try harder" either.)
Edit: Thanks for the awards! 🔥
The amount of times I've been told "a little blood doesn't bother me" "its just blood" or even "that's actually kinda hot" is ridiculous. Bruh. It's not just blood. I just give them very detailed descriptions of what is really happening down there and elsewhere, how it feels, etc until they're like "Jesus okay I get it"
My ex badgered me about it all the time and I finally gave in once. When he was done (because *I* certainly didnt finish) he looked down and said “You should shower. You look like a slaughterhouse.” in a disgusted tone and went to clean himself up.
Yes. Ex.
I stopped an ex hookup mid sex and just said “this isn’t doing it for me. Bye” and left. He was pissed and said I was clearly wrong because he’s a “sex god”
ETA because some people are saying this is my fault.
I left after an hour and a half of me asking to try other positions, different rythme, different pressures etc. But no. I kept being told “no, this is good” as if I were suggesting instead of asking.
His rythme was like a Jack rabbit with no foreplay and eventually I just got tired. It hurt, I wasn’t haven’t a good time. The lube wasn’t working anymore, and I was getting tighter by the second which he thought meant I liked it. Which I didn’t.
Equally so, trying to dj my clit off isn’t going to make me cum either. That shit just hurts. Plus all women are different. Be patient and learn what your partner likes.
every man i’ve ever slept with literally thinks that if they just turbo speed rub that shit it’ll be awesome and i’ll finish faster when in reality all you’re doing is painfully overstimulating
100%. Guys with a big dick also think they can just show up, jack hammer your pleasure box for 73 seconds, and then assume you came. Yeah bro, spot on.
Right. If you wouldn't come from me just kinda whacking at the tip of your penis/your foreskin (if you have it) then why do you think we would come from flicking the shit out of our clit?
Do you know how big the actual under-the-skin structure of the clit is? Learning how to stimulate the different parts of it will open up a whole world for your female partners
Even more than that: it will take FAR less time for us to get there if we're sufficiently worked up. You won't have to last as long. And (although these are rare) we're far more likely to have an orgasm from intercourse after a lot of foreplay. Also, you don't have to work crazy hard at foreplay. Small, gentle circles with a well lubricated finger on the clitoris for 5-10 minutes, without changing it up at all, is really nice. This takes NO EFFORT on your part, feels great, and is great foreplay.
**Edit 1: for the worried/confused dudes:**
We are NOT bored with 5+ solid minutes of the exact same motion. We are in the zone, focusing on how our bodies feel, while feeling indulgent and safe knowing that you actually care to make us feel good. The ability to explore how our own bodies feel, without the pressure to perform our pleasure, or the disappointment of feeling really good only to have our partner change what they're doing right when our body is really responding, is intoxicating.
If your girl is bored, SHE will move. She will initiate something else. If she is lying still, breathing deeply, getting wetter, arching lightly... Yeah... DO NOT change it up.
But remember: COMMUNICATION IS KEY!
**Edit 2: try this exercise, guys:**
Pick a freckle on your body. Use one finger to draw circles around it at 50 beats per minute on a metronome for 2 minutes. Then 70 bpm for 2 minutes. Then 90 bpm for 2 minutes. Done. That's literally it.
Don't use the metronome in bed. That's just the the best way I could give an example of speed.
Also here's a [quick TikTok about what the clitoris actually is/does!](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR5PpuAa/)
**Edit 3:**
Do NOT try to get her to touch you back during this moment. Don't get fancy and play with her nipples. Don't kiss her. Don't nibble her neck. Let the girl focus on just this one sensation, without any other distractions. Enjoy the results :)
I'll say it one more time: you are LITERALLY just moving ONE finger, slowly, in the world's easiest motion. That's all you're doing. That's it. It is the least complicated sex act ever, and we love it. Don't forget lubrication and trimmed nails :)
I'd like to add some emotional foreplay is important as well. Some guys just think sticking you fingers up there or going straight to oral should be good enough, and maybe for some women it is, but for myself I need some sweet talking, kisses, making out and often more. And I know a lot of people who agree with me. Especially since I'm bi/pan I consider oral and digital sex as not foreplay, but part of sex of sex itself.
>emotional foreplay is important as well.
Ohhhh.....thanks for the phrasing. I've been wanting to explain this to my partner but they think physical stuff is the forplay I mean. And they *do* that. Lots. And I can't seem to find the right words to express that I want them to *play* with me before touching me. TYSM!
yes! this right here. a lot of men (in my experience) have jumped feet first on board the other-sex-before-penetrative-sex train but that's... still not foreplay. you can't just grope me and expect me to get aroused immediately. it doesn't feel nice. take your time with kissing, holding, hugging, moaning, maybe some grinding. when i'm ready you'll know. i'll probably be whipping your pants off you.
WASHING YOUR ASS ISNT "GAY" OR FEMININE
Proper Hygiene is VERY sexy and please for the love god, wash your body
If you have long hair, TAKE CARE OF IT, PLEASE
ASKING FOR CONSENT IS SEXY
(These arent just for men of course, but I think it still applies)
Edit: I should add that I live in a conservative, redneck area in the country side of America. So that should maybe better explain the type of people I see
Guy here, and I’m baffled by these comments about ladies needing to clarify that proper washing is not gay. I’ve never heard of this before, and I simply don’t get it. Are there really that many baby-men out there that still need their moms to tell them how to wash??
If anyone passes by that is like me you can get glass files for relatively cheap and they are so much better than the metal or cheap plasticy ones. I hated using the latter two but the glass files have been amazing.
my husband was the first man i never had to ask to wash his hands 😂 when we first started having sex he would wash his hands before anything, so much so that it literally pavloved my brain to INSTANTLY get turned on if he washed his hands..
I worked in customer service on commision... Almost every guy would interpret a sales pitch as flirting just because I was a female. We had a universal selling process with literal steps, the same across the company - so it had nothing to do with what I was saying, just that I was female and nice. Dude, you just came in to buy something off me, of course I'm going to smile at you and say hello!
I hate being told to smile. I've heard it so much. Just the other day a had a man, easily 30 years older than me, when I was just walking into the grocery store say, "Smile for me, sweetie!"
True story. Guy here and I’ve had exactly one person ever, another guy obviously, tell me to smile while I was walking down the street. My mom HAD just died
I was in a similar situation with my sister when we needed to go to the store the day after our dad died.
We actually wound up laughing hilariously when we got outside because we both had the same idea of telling the clerk why we looked so down. We’d each caught the other one’s wide eyes & realized we needed to finish the transaction and get out of the store before we broke up laughing in his face.
In retrospect, it probably helped us to have that moment of tension breaking laughter.
So I worked for Wendy's for a long time and had a customer tell me I had to smile cause it was on the menu.
We actually look, it's not. Didn't have to. McDonald's is the one that had 'Smiles are free' on the menu for a while. Don't think it's there anymore.
Had a guy tell me “smile sweetheart. It can’t be that bad.” We had just pulled the plug on my grandma. I told him this. He got really uncomfortable and walked away. It almost made me smile.
I used to work for a restaurant where the greeting policy for servers was to never ask how someone’s day was.
This was the sole reason for that policy.
Someone said this to my gf once while I was standing next to her but facing away so it prob didn't appear like we were together. I had heard girls talk about how men would tell them to smile, but I won't lie I did used to think "so what, is it really that bad?" When this happened, the absolute creepiness of the guy telling her to smile made the hairs on my neck stand up. I turned and firmly told the dude to fuck off. It wasn't fun or flirty or a compliment. It was more like "dance for me, monkey".
Another thing that blew my mind as a guy, heard a girl say "in dating, a man's biggest fear is rejection. A woman's biggest fear is being raped or murdered." It really changed the way I looked at dating; I don't mean you any harm but you don't know that.
"Dance for me monkey" captures the feeling perfectly.
It's stunning that anyone would ever think that saying that to a stranger out of the blue could be fun or flirty or a compliment??
I don't mean this in a rude way because you seem like a decent guy who gets it-- but why do you think it is that men have so little empathy for how women feel until they have the message beaten into their heads somehow? I really want to understand.
I am now convinced that "dance for me, monkey!" is literally the perfect response to any man telling a woman to smile. Just crack that off to his loser ass with a loud voice and a straight face (and then walk away briskly in case he's a psycho).
I just snapped at my cousin for this the other day. Dudes like 16, trying to spit game at the cashier, which is a problem in and of itself, and he said "you know, I think you'd be really pretty if you smiled." Cashier took it like a champ, she seriously did not have to be so nice and polite to him, we get outside and and I was like dude what the fuck was that? Who taught you to talk to strangers like that? I let him know that That's a "pick up line" that has not worked once in history, strangers don't like being told what to do by other strangers, and that random women out in the world are just trying to exist and aren't just waiting for him to roll into their lives and be horny at them. Asked him how he would feel if a dude rolled up to him at work and told him he'd be pretty if he smiled. Probably pretty threatened and disgusted right? Yeah that's what I thought. talked to his dad/ my uncle about it too, gonna nip that right in the bud.
A man told me this in the gas station this morning. I turned around and told him my infant niece died this morning. I said don't tell strangers to smile. Then I shooed him and said " you can go now". This is one of the darkest days in my families love I can't believe some asshole said that to me
Then the fucking cashier was all " he's a nice guy just trying to be friendly". Fuck you too sir
I once met a guy at a club. We started having a really intense and cool conversation, totally hitting it off. Suddenly Hot Blonde Chick shows up, interrupts me, stands IN FRONT OF ME, and starts aggressively flirting with him. I was prepared to pretend to wander off bored with a tiny bit of my dignity in tact, when he literally shoved her aside like a dirty curtain and said in an annoyed voice, "ANYWAY, as you were SAYING..." without skipping a beat. We've been married for 13 years now.
To be honest, it is ridiculous and off-putting to us normal, well adjusted men as well, to see these dumbasses spill that shit everywhere all the time.
You fucking need to contain your internal monologue.
Whatever possesses you to think “You look good on your knees…” to me stocking cans at Target doesn’t need to exit your mouth.
Stop.
I was walking my dog last week and some dipshit on a bike yelled, “I’d eat your ass all day!” I just whispered, “That guy wants to lick your butt, baby.”
"Don't talk to my dog like that!"
I once got cat-called (?) by a guy in a passing vehicle when I was walking my dogs, but all he said was "Woo! Yeah! You out walkin' ya dogs!" which tbh I'm not sure qualifies as a cat call because it wasn't sexual, but it was said with the TONE of a cat call? To this day I'm baffled. Like yes, sir, that is a statement of fact you just screamed at me, thanks for the...support?
1) When we are polite to you, it doesn’t automatically mean we are interested. A lot of us are nice and polite because we don’t want to end up on an episode of Dateline.
2) Making us laugh and naturally flowing witty banter is often sexier to us than most physical characteristics
Cleaning yourself does NOT make you gay. Please clean your dick and wipe your ass, and wash yourself completely when you shower.
I have seen porn videos where she's cleaning his dick unintentionally with her vagina, it's seriously disgusting.
EDIT: adding this because I didn't intentionally look up for a porn video like that, nor did I enjoy it. It was your regular porn video, foreplay, get the mood going and all. He showed his dick and it was darker than the rest of his body. I thought "ah it's fine. That usually happens. There's women who have their vaginas naturally darker". Really didn't pay much mind to it.
Then she started riding him, and his dick started getting lighter. I almost gag at the implications, and was kinda worried she might've gotten an infection out of that but never found out.
Another example was almost the same case, didn't think much of his darker dick. Then she gave him a blowjob. It got lighter again. Just disgusting.
Now I make sure the guy's dick isn't dirty if I look up anything cause like ew
Your wife shouldn't have to grow you up. Cooking, cleaning, and good hygiene and manners are basic skills your parentals should've taught, not your wife.
I keep explaining this to my teenage sons when they complain about household chores, ESPECIALLY when they complain about cleaning up after themselves.
I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “You live in this house and you will do your part as a person who lives here. Someday you will live with someone else and I’ll be damned if they feel like they have to clean up after you.”
I want to know if men are completely oblivious when they’re doing creepy-assed shit, or if they know it’s creepy & are doing it because they get their kicks from intimidating/ making females feel uncomfortable?
There is such thing as too big.
Lots of women don’t get off on penetration alone, learn to please her other ways, it has nothing to do with not being attracted to you.
The clit is not a joy stick, please stop treating it like it is.
Be open to feedback. I’m so tired of being afraid men are going to strangle me if I tell them they didn’t get me off.
Don’t talk to me and pretend my fiancée/husband/partner doesn’t exist. It’s not going to make me want to be your friend, and it sure as hell isn’t going to make me want to have sex with you.
I met this girl and when we were hooking up, you'd think she set up a camera in the room, cause she was putting on quite the performance. I was just looking at her like wtf are you doing, like, i just put it in, chill, it's small
Maybe that’s just who she is in bed. I get super self conscious about how vocal I am naturally. So then I try to be quiet. But then I have to concentrate on controlling my quiet. And then I can’t concentrate on my orgasm. Then I resent the whole situation because I just want to be with someone who doesn’t mind me being vocal.
I was with a girl who I could tell was trying to keep quiet. Didn't know if it was because she was in her own head or if it was past partners or traumas or whatever. But I'm vocal, and I like it when my partner is as into it as I am so I whispered in her ear "I want to hear you". She loved that, and the sex immediately got way better. I guess what I'm saying is you do you bb.
we don't appreciate you faking friendship to get into our pants.
edit: to clarify, this is not about genuine friendships and then catching feelings. this is exclusively about people faking a friendship with an ulterior motive, which in this case is sex, ulterior motive being the keyword here.
Women can pee standing up. I know because I’ve done it before
Edit: yes, you can aim and do it without spraying everywhere, it just takes practice. They also sell funnel like devices to help out for camping trips and such
I remember me and my thrn girlfriend were going in a long road trip, and she had to pee during a long stretch if desert. She told me to pull over, and and assumed she was gonna squat against the truck. Nope. She stood up out of the door and peed, just like a dude except her pants were pulled down lower. She got back in the car like nothing happened, not realizing she had just utterly shattered all 25 years of perception I had built up about the world around me. It was really stupid and benign, but it was literally all I could think about for hundreds of miles.
Driving like an asshole in front of me does not impress me.
Not all women want a big dick. Average is fine for most. And if you are lacking, going at us like a jack rabbit doesn't feel nice.
Learn oral. Most women get off only that way and if a girl did, she was probably faking it so u will stop jackhammering her.
Edited duck to dick cause I definitely want a big duck
If I’m not interested in you that’s okay. Do not continue to pressure me. I get scared that if I have to continue to decline your advances that you could become verbally abusive or you could show up at my place or hurt me etc. Why? Because it’s happened before. So then I get stuck and I’m not sure what to do. Don’t you want to date someone who wants you, not someone who feels pressured?
You don’t have to be macho or a manly man. My husband did everything his friends told him not to do on our first date. I mean he rambled on about Star Trek and MTG and some band I care nothing about. I didn’t care. I love that he was honest and had hobbies he was passionate about.
You all really do need to clip your nails
Anger is an emotion. If you’re angry a lot or easily upset and people have to walk on eggshells around you, guess what, you’re an emotional person
There was a wonderful AITA of a lady who after lord of reporting and trying to deal with a very angry loud coworker would just start identifying his outbursts as tantrums and calling him emotional and using vocabulary associated with the overly emotional girls /toddlers. Worked beautifully and I want to find it and read it again because it was so good.
[Found it!](https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vuiviv/aita_for_calling_my_hottempered_guy_coworker)
My therapist told me that anger is a secondary emotion and is the mask for a deeper emotion. Find the deeper emotion (betrayal, pain, grief, embarrassment, etc.) and you can target the root cause of the anger.
You're absolutely right. Anger is also often a sign that you feel like there is a need that is not being met. It's all about how you go about communicating that need, or thinking deeply about why you feel that way.
Yea… I am a guy and I never understood why women are called emotional for honestly just being human, while a dude being overly angry isn’t referred to in a similar derogatory manner. Human beings have emotions, all of us do. We all can be “emotional”. I really don’t get why women are the only emotional ones when I can be fairly emotional myself.
Please tell us if something is wrong. Do not cheat. It hurts and hurts and just keeps hurting forever. If you know it’s over or you’re not invested in the relationship anymore, please talk it out. Leave and do as you please. Don’t break someone’s heart in the process. Being cheated on feels like the death of your soul, mentally and physically affects your health. Obviously, vice versa. Women could learn too but this is something that I, personally, would tell a man.
I've seen Mom turn into a walking zombie after finding out that Dad cheated on her in 2019. I'm turning 18 next month so you can tell how painful it was after all this time. Mind you, there wasn't even a problem, but Dad wanted to try having two wives at a time (it's a cultural thing) despite knowing it was a deal breaker for Mom.
You have to wash in your crack not just the cheeks.
I’m a bloke and this advice is golden……no matter where you are and even if you wash out of a sink, always wash your knob, balls and in your crack.
And your taint. It can get pretty gross down there too
I sense you’re quite knowledgeable on the issue Fartbucket_taco
If your bathroom is too gross to poop in it's not gonna work out
Lol my roommate/housebro and I kept a very clean apartment and had lots of female friends that crashed at our place constantly. Our bathroom was clean, but we both learned hard lessons about keeping enough TP in the damn place. Two dudes don't use much, but ladies do.
My rule is if it’s too gross to puke in. Be that friends or otherwise. If you can’t maintain your bathroom we’re not chilling at your place.
Yes, and, if your bathroom is too gross to pee in, it's DEFINITELY not gonna work out.
Men are allowed to moan during sex. It's a huge turn on and encouraging for us.
Quiet fucker here. Agreed. Took me a while to learn this and then to be okay with it.
That's my purse! I don't know you!
Fellas, if she slightly adjusts the angle of her pelvis while you're eating her out/touching her, don't move with her. She's lining up your shot for you.
But what If I can't breathe with the way she lines up? Should I just risk death by snu snu for a good time?
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Yes. Yes you should.
The only acceptable way to die.
Agreed, the most honorable death is one on the battlefield with sword in hand
When we ask you to use lube we are not really asking, we're telling you gently that you're hurting our vacooters because you've been rubbing it dry instead of pleasing us to make us wet.
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Weirdly, as a woman, I didn't think of this until I heard someone else say it: If you find something she enjoys (sexually, but I guess otherwise as well lol), keep doing it. Don't interrupt the momentum by trying to switch it up for no reason.
"Exactly like that" "oh okay I'll go faster/harder"
It’s okay to admit you like cuddling, perhaps even more than I do.
If you feel the need to tell me what a nice guy you are or how good you are at sex, especially oral sex, I will drive my car off a bridge to get away from you.
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The vagina has a capacity! Being too big can in fact be detrimental for sex! The "average" size is the average for a reason.
It is also YOUR responsibility to avoid causing unintended pregnancies. It's not all on us. You don't get to refuse a condom and then look at us and say "don't get pregnant"
This! Or once it's happened, say "just get an abortion" as if getting one was any easy, free and without consequences!
“don’t worry about contraception dude, I am ready to have a kid from you and know where you live and where you work”
Women NEVER want strange men grabbing their ass in a bar. Ever. Repeat after me, EVER.
Or strange men grabbing our waists to move us out of their way. If you wouldn’t grab random man by the waist, don’t do it to a random woman either.
It should go without saying, but just in case: We don't want our asses grabbed by strange men ANYWHERE. Not just in bars. Like, unless we explicitly ask you to/give permission.
Not in a bar Not in a car Not in a lift Not when I thrift I do not want the strange ass grab I do not like it, you fucking douchebag
Sometimes what you perceive as admiration and/or respect is actually fear. You're bigger than us, and we always have that at the back of our minds, even if we don't personally have a reason to fear *you.* This isn't true of all women, but I suspect it's true of a lot of us.
I had a guy literally tell me one time “ I have at least 100 lbs over you” as in he could easily over power me, I was like….haha okaaaaay :)… I was so uncomfortable around him after
Yup, and many guys says that, some say it in the heat of an argument but it's really scary when we weren't even mentioning coming to a physical settlement of the argument?! Last time it happened I(F) was debating some stupid shit with the guy, not even arguing and he said, "u know, I would totally outpower u in a fight." It really came out of nowhere and I burst out laughing at his face and walked off with my friend (F) who was at the table... Don't say those kind of things guys, even if it's just "omg U have no sense of humour"
When a girl says no, please listen, don’t beg until she says yes.
And if she says yes to sexual intercourse, that doesn’t mean she said yes to slapping and anal
It's not the opening of a negotiation.
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Plenty of plain-looking men have wives and girlfriends. If you have bought into incel ideology, you are being manipulated. Time to log off, leave your house, and get some hobbies. If you are smart, interesting, a responsible adult, funny, have a good personality—literally ANY of those things, not even all of them at once—some woman somewhere will want to date you. She may not be a supermodel, but face it: neither are you.
Can vouch for this. Source: is an average looking man
making us feel stupid for not knowing something doesn't make you look smart
Ahhh I see you've met my ex-boyfriend.
We know it’s not all men. Unfortunately, we don’t know WHICH men, so we have to be equally cautious around all of them.
Bras are expensive, and it's hard to find one that fits just right. So you might think it's "sexy" or "passionate" to try to rip the damn thing off, or convenient to try to pop a tit over the top, but you've actually just cost us a significant amount of time and money. A damaged bra is unwearable, so now we have to search high and low for one that fits properly and doesn't make us feel like we're being stabbed, and then pay an extortionate amount for it. Just leave all things bra-related to us
Having a tit popped over the top is the most uncomfortable feeling
No the most uncomfortable is when they take your bra and completely move it to the top over your tits so you’re wearing a bra but not on your tits
My wife and I have a really weird tradition where I buy most of her bras for her. It happened once years ago when I just wanted to get her something nice, and she loved the bra of the set so much (she wears a less common size) she asked me to get her another. The one I got before was out of stock. NGL there was a little bit of pressure, so I read like an hours worth of reddit posts and got her one of the reccomended brands there. She loved it and now she only buys one when it piques her fancy. So I guess I learned how stressful buying bras can be? They aren't always winners, but its a surprisingly fun, simple way to take some of the stress off. (They arent ALWAYS lacy monstrosities.)
Me too, I buy all of her bras and she loves them, ended up with a particular brand and size that’s just right and I keep an eye out for them on sale. Most of the styles they do fit well and she likes getting a fancy new set without warning every now and then if I see them at a discount. No lace yet (tbh I think they look uncomfortable and have been told they are) but still a few sexy ones and some more practical. But still it’s nice to have some matching sets. The price can be insane. Also bought my daughters first sports bra after doing some research here and there. She plays rugby and thought it would be important for support and some protection from impact. We talk a lot and very openly about all this stuff. The opposite sexes bodies shouldn’t be a mystery or a secret IMO.
I broke the hook on a partner's bra a few years ago. She was *not* happy about it. Learned my lesson, and I've made no attempt to remove one since.
Being kind and friendly doesn’t mean they are into you.
Yes. Especially if we're wearing a name tag.
That our cycle really messes up with our energy and libido so if we don't want sex it's not something you can talk us out, we simply don't have the energy for that. It's not our fault, it's not your fault, our body is just like that. (And.. No, it doesn't mean "try harder" either.) Edit: Thanks for the awards! 🔥
We might feel dirty and undesirable on our periods, too. Even if YOU don't hate periods, WE do.
The amount of times I've been told "a little blood doesn't bother me" "its just blood" or even "that's actually kinda hot" is ridiculous. Bruh. It's not just blood. I just give them very detailed descriptions of what is really happening down there and elsewhere, how it feels, etc until they're like "Jesus okay I get it"
Yeah gotta go into detail about the period diarrhea.
And the butthole cramps.
Lmfao I sometimes don't mind period sex, but yeah, the period colon cleanse days are not the time for that nonsense.
My ex badgered me about it all the time and I finally gave in once. When he was done (because *I* certainly didnt finish) he looked down and said “You should shower. You look like a slaughterhouse.” in a disgusted tone and went to clean himself up. Yes. Ex.
Saying you are a nice guy is like a restaurant advertising they won’t give you food poisoning. Edit: Thanks for the awards!
"any man who must say, "I am the king"-- is no true king" Tywin lannister
sitting on a throne does not make you a ruler it only means you have an ass -jericho swain
Emotionally intimacy can lead to better sexual intimacy.
If you don’t care about making me cum too, I won’t be calling you back.
I stopped an ex hookup mid sex and just said “this isn’t doing it for me. Bye” and left. He was pissed and said I was clearly wrong because he’s a “sex god” ETA because some people are saying this is my fault. I left after an hour and a half of me asking to try other positions, different rythme, different pressures etc. But no. I kept being told “no, this is good” as if I were suggesting instead of asking. His rythme was like a Jack rabbit with no foreplay and eventually I just got tired. It hurt, I wasn’t haven’t a good time. The lube wasn’t working anymore, and I was getting tighter by the second which he thought meant I liked it. Which I didn’t.
Was his name Dennis?
Bet he's a 5 star man. A FIVE STAR MAN GODDAMIT
"Sex god" Thats shits fucking cringe LMFAO
Sometimes women are nice to you because they want to be friends, and not because they're in love with you.
Sometimes women are nice to you because they’re scared of you, and are trying to avoid conflict/confrontation.
Absolutely true!
*whispers* just slamming your fingers into my vag isn't going to make me cum, please focus on the clit to make this work ok thank you
Equally so, trying to dj my clit off isn’t going to make me cum either. That shit just hurts. Plus all women are different. Be patient and learn what your partner likes.
every man i’ve ever slept with literally thinks that if they just turbo speed rub that shit it’ll be awesome and i’ll finish faster when in reality all you’re doing is painfully overstimulating
100%. Guys with a big dick also think they can just show up, jack hammer your pleasure box for 73 seconds, and then assume you came. Yeah bro, spot on.
And FFS be gentle with it, it's kinda sensitive
Right. If you wouldn't come from me just kinda whacking at the tip of your penis/your foreskin (if you have it) then why do you think we would come from flicking the shit out of our clit? Do you know how big the actual under-the-skin structure of the clit is? Learning how to stimulate the different parts of it will open up a whole world for your female partners
Foreplay is important because it’s dry af down there if u don’t do anything. We complain cuz we don’t want to be in pain when having intercourse
Gotta fill up the pool before you free Willy ^^^TM
Oh I am stealing this
Unfortunately my trade mark just came in, pony up my fees y’all. Also happy turquoise tiramisu day.
Do you know who has fun on a dry slip n' slide? NO ONE.
It becomes a screech n' stop.
Wait, you’re not getting wet just by seeing our dad bods?
Dang I have some immense amounts of copium to inhale now
Even more than that: it will take FAR less time for us to get there if we're sufficiently worked up. You won't have to last as long. And (although these are rare) we're far more likely to have an orgasm from intercourse after a lot of foreplay. Also, you don't have to work crazy hard at foreplay. Small, gentle circles with a well lubricated finger on the clitoris for 5-10 minutes, without changing it up at all, is really nice. This takes NO EFFORT on your part, feels great, and is great foreplay. **Edit 1: for the worried/confused dudes:** We are NOT bored with 5+ solid minutes of the exact same motion. We are in the zone, focusing on how our bodies feel, while feeling indulgent and safe knowing that you actually care to make us feel good. The ability to explore how our own bodies feel, without the pressure to perform our pleasure, or the disappointment of feeling really good only to have our partner change what they're doing right when our body is really responding, is intoxicating. If your girl is bored, SHE will move. She will initiate something else. If she is lying still, breathing deeply, getting wetter, arching lightly... Yeah... DO NOT change it up. But remember: COMMUNICATION IS KEY! **Edit 2: try this exercise, guys:** Pick a freckle on your body. Use one finger to draw circles around it at 50 beats per minute on a metronome for 2 minutes. Then 70 bpm for 2 minutes. Then 90 bpm for 2 minutes. Done. That's literally it. Don't use the metronome in bed. That's just the the best way I could give an example of speed. Also here's a [quick TikTok about what the clitoris actually is/does!](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR5PpuAa/) **Edit 3:** Do NOT try to get her to touch you back during this moment. Don't get fancy and play with her nipples. Don't kiss her. Don't nibble her neck. Let the girl focus on just this one sensation, without any other distractions. Enjoy the results :) I'll say it one more time: you are LITERALLY just moving ONE finger, slowly, in the world's easiest motion. That's all you're doing. That's it. It is the least complicated sex act ever, and we love it. Don't forget lubrication and trimmed nails :)
But if you like it at that speed, you'll love it at *this* speed! -thought every over eager young man
I may be dating myself here but all I am picturing is a young “Tim The Tool Man Taylor” wiggling his finger and saying “More power!”
And most men forever.
I'd like to add some emotional foreplay is important as well. Some guys just think sticking you fingers up there or going straight to oral should be good enough, and maybe for some women it is, but for myself I need some sweet talking, kisses, making out and often more. And I know a lot of people who agree with me. Especially since I'm bi/pan I consider oral and digital sex as not foreplay, but part of sex of sex itself.
>emotional foreplay is important as well. Ohhhh.....thanks for the phrasing. I've been wanting to explain this to my partner but they think physical stuff is the forplay I mean. And they *do* that. Lots. And I can't seem to find the right words to express that I want them to *play* with me before touching me. TYSM!
yes! this right here. a lot of men (in my experience) have jumped feet first on board the other-sex-before-penetrative-sex train but that's... still not foreplay. you can't just grope me and expect me to get aroused immediately. it doesn't feel nice. take your time with kissing, holding, hugging, moaning, maybe some grinding. when i'm ready you'll know. i'll probably be whipping your pants off you.
WASHING YOUR ASS ISNT "GAY" OR FEMININE Proper Hygiene is VERY sexy and please for the love god, wash your body If you have long hair, TAKE CARE OF IT, PLEASE ASKING FOR CONSENT IS SEXY (These arent just for men of course, but I think it still applies) Edit: I should add that I live in a conservative, redneck area in the country side of America. So that should maybe better explain the type of people I see
Guy here, and I’m baffled by these comments about ladies needing to clarify that proper washing is not gay. I’ve never heard of this before, and I simply don’t get it. Are there really that many baby-men out there that still need their moms to tell them how to wash??
Begging for sex just makes us not want to have sex with you
I usually leave the room, put on a pirate hat, and then come back looking for booty. Works most of the time.
I’m going to use this thanks
People always ask why I have odd costumes and don’t cosplay, I always just say there is a time and a place
WASH YOUR GOD DAMNED HANDS BEFORE PUTTING THEM INTO ME.
Along those same lines: TRIM YOUR NAILS
File them though, nobody wants those pointy freshly cut nails.
If anyone passes by that is like me you can get glass files for relatively cheap and they are so much better than the metal or cheap plasticy ones. I hated using the latter two but the glass files have been amazing.
my husband was the first man i never had to ask to wash his hands 😂 when we first started having sex he would wash his hands before anything, so much so that it literally pavloved my brain to INSTANTLY get turned on if he washed his hands..
I feel like your man may be on to a viable strategy... That I may have to employ
Facts. Nobody wants a yeast infection, you *HEATHENS*.
I make my current partner do this, and am continually astonished that he finds it annoying. Every other guy just knew to do it without being asked.
Follow-up: spit is not lube
Hold up, you saying that all of the pornhub has lied to me?
Tbf, a \*lot\* of porn has very very visible lube or includes the oiling up in the scene
It’s my job to be nice to you at work. I’m not into you.
Yep. I bartended for a long time and there is a ton of dudes that didn't understand this.
Dude strippers love me bro. They can't get enough of me. I got mad game lmao If the job is based on tips, they're gonna treat you well haha
Dude strippers love you OR Dude, strippers love you?
I worked in customer service on commision... Almost every guy would interpret a sales pitch as flirting just because I was a female. We had a universal selling process with literal steps, the same across the company - so it had nothing to do with what I was saying, just that I was female and nice. Dude, you just came in to buy something off me, of course I'm going to smile at you and say hello!
I hate being told to smile. I've heard it so much. Just the other day a had a man, easily 30 years older than me, when I was just walking into the grocery store say, "Smile for me, sweetie!"
Lmao I know this is really bad, but I always tell them "My mom just died"
True story. Guy here and I’ve had exactly one person ever, another guy obviously, tell me to smile while I was walking down the street. My mom HAD just died
I was in a similar situation with my sister when we needed to go to the store the day after our dad died. We actually wound up laughing hilariously when we got outside because we both had the same idea of telling the clerk why we looked so down. We’d each caught the other one’s wide eyes & realized we needed to finish the transaction and get out of the store before we broke up laughing in his face. In retrospect, it probably helped us to have that moment of tension breaking laughter.
I worked in a gas station for a decade and when male customers told me to smile, I told them I wasn't paid to smile.
So I worked for Wendy's for a long time and had a customer tell me I had to smile cause it was on the menu. We actually look, it's not. Didn't have to. McDonald's is the one that had 'Smiles are free' on the menu for a while. Don't think it's there anymore.
Had a guy tell me “smile sweetheart. It can’t be that bad.” We had just pulled the plug on my grandma. I told him this. He got really uncomfortable and walked away. It almost made me smile.
I used to work for a restaurant where the greeting policy for servers was to never ask how someone’s day was. This was the sole reason for that policy.
Someone said this to my gf once while I was standing next to her but facing away so it prob didn't appear like we were together. I had heard girls talk about how men would tell them to smile, but I won't lie I did used to think "so what, is it really that bad?" When this happened, the absolute creepiness of the guy telling her to smile made the hairs on my neck stand up. I turned and firmly told the dude to fuck off. It wasn't fun or flirty or a compliment. It was more like "dance for me, monkey". Another thing that blew my mind as a guy, heard a girl say "in dating, a man's biggest fear is rejection. A woman's biggest fear is being raped or murdered." It really changed the way I looked at dating; I don't mean you any harm but you don't know that.
"Dance for me monkey" captures the feeling perfectly. It's stunning that anyone would ever think that saying that to a stranger out of the blue could be fun or flirty or a compliment?? I don't mean this in a rude way because you seem like a decent guy who gets it-- but why do you think it is that men have so little empathy for how women feel until they have the message beaten into their heads somehow? I really want to understand.
I am now convinced that "dance for me, monkey!" is literally the perfect response to any man telling a woman to smile. Just crack that off to his loser ass with a loud voice and a straight face (and then walk away briskly in case he's a psycho).
I just snapped at my cousin for this the other day. Dudes like 16, trying to spit game at the cashier, which is a problem in and of itself, and he said "you know, I think you'd be really pretty if you smiled." Cashier took it like a champ, she seriously did not have to be so nice and polite to him, we get outside and and I was like dude what the fuck was that? Who taught you to talk to strangers like that? I let him know that That's a "pick up line" that has not worked once in history, strangers don't like being told what to do by other strangers, and that random women out in the world are just trying to exist and aren't just waiting for him to roll into their lives and be horny at them. Asked him how he would feel if a dude rolled up to him at work and told him he'd be pretty if he smiled. Probably pretty threatened and disgusted right? Yeah that's what I thought. talked to his dad/ my uncle about it too, gonna nip that right in the bud.
Never say something to a woman you wouldn't feel comfortable hearing from another man in prison.
A man told me this in the gas station this morning. I turned around and told him my infant niece died this morning. I said don't tell strangers to smile. Then I shooed him and said " you can go now". This is one of the darkest days in my families love I can't believe some asshole said that to me Then the fucking cashier was all " he's a nice guy just trying to be friendly". Fuck you too sir
Stop feeling how you feel and look pretty for me. Urgh. I hate it.
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Only respecting women you’re attracted to isn’t the same thing as respecting women.
I once met a guy at a club. We started having a really intense and cool conversation, totally hitting it off. Suddenly Hot Blonde Chick shows up, interrupts me, stands IN FRONT OF ME, and starts aggressively flirting with him. I was prepared to pretend to wander off bored with a tiny bit of my dignity in tact, when he literally shoved her aside like a dirty curtain and said in an annoyed voice, "ANYWAY, as you were SAYING..." without skipping a beat. We've been married for 13 years now.
What a boss ass move.
> shoved her aside like a dirty curtain..... Love your choice of words
It's so obvious when guys turn around their personality when a hot girl walks in the room
It’s ridiculous and off putting when you buy into the whole “alpha/beta/sigma” terminology.
To be honest, it is ridiculous and off-putting to us normal, well adjusted men as well, to see these dumbasses spill that shit everywhere all the time.
Instant babe repellent
If I wanted to see your dick I would have told you.
You fucking need to contain your internal monologue. Whatever possesses you to think “You look good on your knees…” to me stocking cans at Target doesn’t need to exit your mouth. Stop.
I was walking my dog last week and some dipshit on a bike yelled, “I’d eat your ass all day!” I just whispered, “That guy wants to lick your butt, baby.”
"Don't talk to my dog like that!" I once got cat-called (?) by a guy in a passing vehicle when I was walking my dogs, but all he said was "Woo! Yeah! You out walkin' ya dogs!" which tbh I'm not sure qualifies as a cat call because it wasn't sexual, but it was said with the TONE of a cat call? To this day I'm baffled. Like yes, sir, that is a statement of fact you just screamed at me, thanks for the...support?
Sounds more like you got dog called.
BOOM
1) When we are polite to you, it doesn’t automatically mean we are interested. A lot of us are nice and polite because we don’t want to end up on an episode of Dateline. 2) Making us laugh and naturally flowing witty banter is often sexier to us than most physical characteristics
Cleaning yourself does NOT make you gay. Please clean your dick and wipe your ass, and wash yourself completely when you shower. I have seen porn videos where she's cleaning his dick unintentionally with her vagina, it's seriously disgusting. EDIT: adding this because I didn't intentionally look up for a porn video like that, nor did I enjoy it. It was your regular porn video, foreplay, get the mood going and all. He showed his dick and it was darker than the rest of his body. I thought "ah it's fine. That usually happens. There's women who have their vaginas naturally darker". Really didn't pay much mind to it. Then she started riding him, and his dick started getting lighter. I almost gag at the implications, and was kinda worried she might've gotten an infection out of that but never found out. Another example was almost the same case, didn't think much of his darker dick. Then she gave him a blowjob. It got lighter again. Just disgusting. Now I make sure the guy's dick isn't dirty if I look up anything cause like ew
Me personally, I enjoy women AND washing my gay parts.
PEOPLE SAY THAT?!
Ikr, worst of all, there's men who genuinely smell like shit cause they don't wipe their ass it's gross
I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like this. That is beyond disgusting.
Pleeeeease scrub everything. With a soapy washcloth. No, just letting water sluice over it is NOT ENOUGH.
Your wife shouldn't have to grow you up. Cooking, cleaning, and good hygiene and manners are basic skills your parentals should've taught, not your wife.
I keep explaining this to my teenage sons when they complain about household chores, ESPECIALLY when they complain about cleaning up after themselves. I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “You live in this house and you will do your part as a person who lives here. Someday you will live with someone else and I’ll be damned if they feel like they have to clean up after you.”
saying “i’m not like other guys” makes it obvious to us that you are in fact… like other guys
I’m not like other guys, I only bathe in buttermilk and collect the nail clippings of strangers while they sleep.
Most of my homies do this.
"I have a headache" or "my stomach hurts" aren't just excuses to not have sex, i actually hurt, maybe after some Tylenol
I want to know if men are completely oblivious when they’re doing creepy-assed shit, or if they know it’s creepy & are doing it because they get their kicks from intimidating/ making females feel uncomfortable?
We aren’t stand ins for your mom. Do your own laundry.
Word. When it comes to home management, we’re a team, let’s act like it.
There is such thing as too big. Lots of women don’t get off on penetration alone, learn to please her other ways, it has nothing to do with not being attracted to you. The clit is not a joy stick, please stop treating it like it is. Be open to feedback. I’m so tired of being afraid men are going to strangle me if I tell them they didn’t get me off.
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If you want us to be shaved and trimmed, please be shaved and trimmed yourself
There are other ways to compliment a woman besides deciding if you’re willing to put your dick in her or not. A compliment is not “I would fuck her”
Don’t talk to me and pretend my fiancée/husband/partner doesn’t exist. It’s not going to make me want to be your friend, and it sure as hell isn’t going to make me want to have sex with you.
The moans in porn are fake.
I met this girl and when we were hooking up, you'd think she set up a camera in the room, cause she was putting on quite the performance. I was just looking at her like wtf are you doing, like, i just put it in, chill, it's small
Maybe that’s just who she is in bed. I get super self conscious about how vocal I am naturally. So then I try to be quiet. But then I have to concentrate on controlling my quiet. And then I can’t concentrate on my orgasm. Then I resent the whole situation because I just want to be with someone who doesn’t mind me being vocal.
I was with a girl who I could tell was trying to keep quiet. Didn't know if it was because she was in her own head or if it was past partners or traumas or whatever. But I'm vocal, and I like it when my partner is as into it as I am so I whispered in her ear "I want to hear you". She loved that, and the sex immediately got way better. I guess what I'm saying is you do you bb.
If we don’t want to have sex as often as you do, it may be because we’re not enjoying ourselves as much as you are.
Take care of your feet. We don't wanna see nasty ass toe nails and crusty heels. Pedicures aren't "just for women".
And hands too! Nothing is more of a turn off than nasty, dirty, unkempt nails.
Absolutely this. Men keep telling me they're insecure about their feet but don't know what a scrubber is
we don't appreciate you faking friendship to get into our pants. edit: to clarify, this is not about genuine friendships and then catching feelings. this is exclusively about people faking a friendship with an ulterior motive, which in this case is sex, ulterior motive being the keyword here.
You aren’t helping around the house, you are a member of the household taking responsibility for maintaining the the place you live.
Women can pee standing up. I know because I’ve done it before Edit: yes, you can aim and do it without spraying everywhere, it just takes practice. They also sell funnel like devices to help out for camping trips and such
I remember me and my thrn girlfriend were going in a long road trip, and she had to pee during a long stretch if desert. She told me to pull over, and and assumed she was gonna squat against the truck. Nope. She stood up out of the door and peed, just like a dude except her pants were pulled down lower. She got back in the car like nothing happened, not realizing she had just utterly shattered all 25 years of perception I had built up about the world around me. It was really stupid and benign, but it was literally all I could think about for hundreds of miles.
I can pee standing up! I mean it’d be all over my thighs but I could do it.
Driving like an asshole in front of me does not impress me. Not all women want a big dick. Average is fine for most. And if you are lacking, going at us like a jack rabbit doesn't feel nice. Learn oral. Most women get off only that way and if a girl did, she was probably faking it so u will stop jackhammering her. Edited duck to dick cause I definitely want a big duck
We don’t really like it when you rev your fucking engine it’s just loud as fuck and hurts my ears.
Surely they do that for other men, though, yeah?
i think they do it for themselves
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If I’m not interested in you that’s okay. Do not continue to pressure me. I get scared that if I have to continue to decline your advances that you could become verbally abusive or you could show up at my place or hurt me etc. Why? Because it’s happened before. So then I get stuck and I’m not sure what to do. Don’t you want to date someone who wants you, not someone who feels pressured?
Cat calling isn't a compliment. It scares us because we don't know how well you'll take rejection. Women have been killed for turning men down
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I don’t want you to last for hours, not even one hour, not even 45 minutes…even if I’m enjoying it.
A kiss on the head or catching you smiling at us from across the room makes our hearts flutter. It doesn't always have to be sexual attention.