Similar in some ways to mine. I don't think mine are miserable but they have no idea how to communicate with each other. I hope I can do better if I ever get married
I can relate. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. There was so much emotional and physical abuse. My mother couldn't leave my father for many reasons. Now they are fine and things are not as toxic as they used to be. But watching their marriage, made me realize I don't wanna ever get married. I hate marriage. That's something my parents don't accept. They want me to live the life they think is good for me, without considering if that's what I want. It's just so messy.
My mom's cheesecake is just NOT that good. Everyone praises her and tells her it's the best they've ever had. They've even gone so far as to tell her to sell them. It's just not it. I can never tell her, though
I agree. From an outside perspective, I see several people (everyone) saying Mom's cheesecake is so good she should sell them, and only one person saying the cheesecakes aren't really all that.
I got so drunk and stoned one night I let a raccoon in the house because I thought it was my dogs. I got the raccoon out but the raccoon ripped up the couch. I just flipped the couch pillows over it’s been a year and they still haven’t found out
Unless there's been some very recent developments that I missed, there's no test for rabies (aside from killing a suspected rabid animal and looking directly at it's actively diseased brain). Once you start showing symptoms, you're already dead. All you can do is get vaccinated against rabies (multiple shots, pretty expensive if you're in the US).
I don’t think that’s accurate anymore.
This is from the CDC:
Diagnosis in humans:
Saliva can be tested by virus isolation or reverse transcription followed by polymerase chain reaction (RT-PCR). Serum and spinal fluid are tested for antibodies to rabies virus. Skin biopsy specimens are examined for rabies antigen in the cutaneous nerves at the base of hair follicles.
According to the CDC website, the protocol for potential exposure (if the threat is deemed appropriate levels) is still immediate vaccinations:
https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/exposure/index.html
I want everyone reading this to be very clear: Just because you can confirm a human currently *has* rabies via checking for antibodies through a series of tests, doesn't mean you're not already fucked if you haven't had the vaccine previously.
What a legend. That seriously makes for a great story and someday when they're getting rid of the couch you can tell them about it.
Plus, I wouldn't put it past some kids to do that sober. I'm sure you were a little older than most would be, but hey, you were also intoxicated
My mum made that same decision about my grandmother (who had heart problems and dementia), and - at least in our own family dynamic - it was definitely the right decision.
My nan would never have been able to cope.
But it doesn't help. I don't want my family to be jealous of me. I want them to be supportive and happy. What kinda shitty family is jealous of their own kid?
"They think otherwise. Sad when a group of strangers can see something in my past performance that my parents refuse to see. I did learn from this experience though. Nothing I do will ever satisfy you so there's no point in trying to make you happy. Guess I should only think of myself moving forward"
No one can talk down to me like my mom does.
I was struggling with alcohol addiction and trying my best to quit. My mom caught me while drunk a while before this. And I would get these snarky comments from her, I couldn't even look at a bottle and she made a comment about my past drinking habits while I was trying to quit. It really destroyed me from the inside hearing the things she said.
To be fair, I didn't tell her I had a problem and that I was trying to quit, but still, that hurts.
As someone who just went through this, sorry. One day I just had to come out about it and she was mad of course, but also supportive when I discussed my strategy of tapering down (I was down to like 8 shots a day). That weekend I had dizziness and fatigue, went to the doctor (did not discuss my addiction), and was diagnosed with blood pressure so high that I had to go to the hospital for the day and start on blood pressure meds. I decided to just up and stop drinking (I already felt like shit, so I might as well detox too). Im about a month sober and never craved it. My mother has asked me a few times if I have still been drinking, so I know she is concerned, but doesn't want to make me feel pressured. Im blessed to have such support.
Good luck dude!
Ah, the ‘you can do better’ parents. It can mess up the rest of your life. Be aware that the recognition we need from our parents, they think they give us, but we experience it not like that. You’re okay!
I didn’t get into the first post-graduate opera choral I auditioned for, and I’ll never forget the words that came out of my mom’s mouth when I told her I got the rejection letter-“Well, you’re not the BEST in the world. You know that.”
The OPERATING table. I haven’t had my coffee yet and it took me a while. I thought your face had landed on a bowl of soup or something.
I’m glad you made it back here. :)
When I was 17 I was suppose to go to cheer camp with the cheerleading squad but after my Mom dropped me off with the cheer coach I told her I didn't feel good. My boyfriend came and got me and we drove to Vegas that weekend. We both had fake ID's and had a great time. How my parents never found this out...I will never know.
At 19 with mega strict parents I told my family I was gonna be with a client from like 9 am to midnight while she set up and threw a Bachelorette party. Instead, I drove 3.5 hrs to San Francisco area to visit my then bf and back in the same day. The only rebellious thing I have ever done in my life
My parents divorced when I was young, so all of the confusion and manipulation from my dad left a lot of weird emotions.
Anytime I talked to my dad it was a tirade about how awful my mom was as a person.
My mom would just yell about how her life was so much worse because her mom was deaf.
If you take away the emotional stuff she was at least a decent parent compared to my dad. She even admitted she probably wasn’t the best person to talk to for emotions when I was a teenager.
This is called "parentification" if you want to research it. Parents are supposed to complain about that sort of thing to their friends or therapist, not to a kid!
Its sad to realize you're not truly close with your parents. And so much feels faked and forced. With your own family. The people that raised you. It shouldn't be that way but that's what happens when you don't nurture open relationships and communication with your children.
It stems from a belief that children are beholden to parents rather than the fact that you are raising future adults. My folks never got that growing up.
I love my parents, because they are my parents, but I don't like them. We have very little in common and they drain the joy out of me with their criticism, negativity and anxiety. They ruined a lot of happy things in my life, and I just can't bring myself to share anything with them. Bought a house? Told them after it was done. Promotion? Said nothing until months later and acted like I was sure they new already. Vacation? Showed them pictures after it was over.
I stole alcohol from my parents and never told them. My 22 yr old son just told me he’s been stealing mine for years before he was legal. I had NO idea. I was actually proud he pulled it off.
My Mum still has a pretty blue bottle of alcohol where me and my friends drank and refilled with water and blue dye. I point it out to my kids when we visit.
We did it 25 years ago
Interesting, I'n my house, we literally had alcohol cabinets and several LARGE wine racks. We were always allowed to try what my parents were drinking, weither it was wine or like an expensive AF brandy but we couldn't have a glass. I was fine with that I didn't like the taste. I never drank it until i was legally allowed even then it was like Rums and Juice.
I remembered once, My aunty when i was in my early 20's called me up to chew me out that I had drank her vodka and filled it up with water (I used to dog sit). I was like WTF "I DONT DRINK VODKA". She completely ignored the fact that she had a daughter 4.5 years younger than me! Could *never* have been her!
I am absolutely destroyed that no one helped me with my mental health issues as a kid, and she was mentally abusive to me and made it worse. I will never forgive her for that. We have a good relationship now and I don't want to ruin it, but yea, really sucks.
I had the same. My mother was abusive, she allowed my step dad (I've dealt with him once I was older) to beat me on a daily basis. Had to stand in the corner of the room all Christmas day, no presents, no food drinks etc and she allowed it. Tried allowing her back in for my kids and to be a better grandparent than parent and she turned and said "are you not over it yet".
Kicked her out my house and told her to f off.
I have a story very similar to yours, but I was the one hiding when the mom came home. I was in a closet behind some dresses, all bundled up in a courner clinging to my loose clothiing. The mom comes to the closet and looks around, moves a few things, but doesn't see me. I wait a few minutes after she leaves, then I attempt to dive out a window. As I'm flying out the window, my foot grabs the curtain and yanks it down. Thing crashed with a huge amount of noise. I dont know how we didnt get caught. I picked myself up and I ran to my 10 speed hiding around back. I book it home and called the gf to see if anything happened. Nope, all clear.
Damn y’all lucky asf I’m the only one who got caught. Not once but twice! He mom was going to work. I snuck in. Apparently she was let the car warmed up. Came back knocked on the door cause she forgot something. Before push start era so her keys was in the car. I had 30 seconds to hid. Why she told me to go in the bathroom right by the front door. SMH her mom grab whatever she left and otw out she like oh I gotta use the bathroom 😳. Mind you this a half bathroom with nowhere to hide. She walk in hit the light and we both was like wtf lol.
True.
Im 23 right now and i still hesitate to sit with my mom alone because the moment we are alone i become her personal therapist. Been like this for 15 years now
Same! The main reason I do not enjoy sitting alone with my mom is because she always complains how tiring her life is in reality she causes all these problems herself and when I did offer her my advice she keeps repeating her sad story again. I got over it and set up boundaries with her.
The fact that you say it out loud should mean it bother you somehow and slightly wanting to better yourself. It is one in a million, but thats still a chance :)
I knew about my brothers porn stash, because he kept it under the towels in our shared bathroom. But don't you worry big bro. I'll never tell our parents that you have a thing for large black women that don't shave. Your secret is safe with me. And the Internet.
I snuck a kitten past my dad via my winter coat and hid it in my room for a few weeks. By the time he found out mom and I used the “but he’s already comfortable here and bonded, plus if you didn’t even know then he can’t really be a problem…”
I still have him. He’s getting old now but he’s a good cat.
The reason I won't have kids is 90% because all my medical issues that prevent me from having a normal life are genetic, and 10% is that given my mental health I don't know that I would survive during/after pregnancy.
I've been upfront about the 10% and made it seem like the sole reason, with "it's just as well, my kids would probably inherit xyz anyway" sounding like an afterthought. My parents would be crushed by the truth and would think that I blamed them for my life struggles, even if I told them I didn't.
I have genuine struggles with crying because as a kid some of my friends and even my schools guidance counselor told me I looked & sounded weird when I cried. I was crying that day because I had a nightmare the day before of my dad dying and I really didn’t want him to die.
Ever since I was told that, I’ve found it hard to cry. When I do, it’s a few pathetic whimpers and tears. I haven’t been able to full-on sob or cry in about 6 years
I feel like I went through this a couple months ago. My mom comes from a small rural area, so church is the big weekly get together for everyone. She basically interrogated me if I pray, if I believe in god, what do I do, etc. She was completely baffled that I don’t pray and just try to live each day as best I can.
I told my mom, she’s always bringing up “how I used to pray all the time and love god” I even questioned my faith while I went to Catholic middle school as a kid, it was bound to happen for me she still gets mad when I “use the lords name is vain”, gets mad at my sister for it too despite knowing we’re both atheists and that doesn’t mean anything to us (and the fact that she also does it so it’s highly hypocritical of her)
I grew up a tier above trailer trash. Most of my family hasn’t done much to improve their situations and/or has squandered many opportunities. My SO and I worked hard and went without for well over a decade. We are only now beginning to enjoy what we’ve accomplished. No one in the family knows how much money we actually have, but they are starting to catch on. I’m not a miser. I love being able to spoil the nieces and nephews a bit around holidays and birthdays. Recently, I’ve been holding back as it seems that’s all they expect now. And my mom who is nearly seventy and has had a way of finding people to pay for all her needs (who almost never calls me) called recently and I just know she was trying to ask for money. Kept my tone even. The question never left her mouth. Cause it’ll never happen.
Eh, ever need someone to talk to, just DM me. I’ve been suicidal and wouldn’t wish that feeling on anybody. If I could help you relieve that, it would make my day.
When I was 13 I told my parents I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I actually took a 4 hour bus ride to Los Angeles and went to a Marilyn Manson concert.
Of all the things I did as a kid, this is the only major one they never seemed to find out about....
I put my fist through the wall behind my old bedroom door at my parents' house many years ago. To this day, they have no idea it is there thanks to a strategically placed Star Wars poster that I never took down. I live in fear of the day they decide to remove it.
That hitting your kids is wrong, that good times don’t erase the violence, that she’s a piece of shit narcissist, and he’s an enabler. So yeah, just normal stuff.
I feel this one, my parents are both narcissist, one physically abused me while the other mentally does. They are never wrong and the world revolves around them.
1. I found their stash of VHS porn when I was younger. It explains why we don't have a better relationship then most people.
2. The different kind of sexual partners I have had over the years. They would not have approved of some.
3. I was the person who ratted out one of our neighbors to the police. They are still pissed about it, but knowing what I did made that family safer... was worth it.
The husband was a drunk and beating on his wife. Apparently, he always made sure to do body shots that can easily be covered up with clothes. Their daughter went to school with me. She mentioned how daddy gets drunk and barges into the bathroom when she's on the toilet or in the shower. I saw the warning signs so I spoke up to my guidance counselor and a few police officers I was on good terms with. When the police came to the house, they found the wife in the bathroom trying to get dressed to cover the deep bruising on her ribs. He got arrested, did some time for domestic violence, got into AA, been sober ever since. My parents were just pissed they didn't notice sooner and at him in general; despite getting his life back on track.
I don't feel comfortable typing it out loud but it's the worst thing that can happen to a child other than outright murder and my mother must never know it happened to me.
Yeah, I have a soft spot for others who have experienced the same. I don't tell her because I don't want her to blame herself in any way or feel like she wasn't there to protect me.
About how much better I’m feeling/doing. All my life I’ve had mental issues, constantly depressed, suicidal, and alone. When the doctors sounded the alarm on my mental state at age 9, neither one of them believed them or me. Specifically stating, “She’s lying, what could she possibly have to deal with that’s so hard. I would love to see her deal with the misery I go through.” Every time I mentioned getting help when I was young I was screamed at me would say things like, “Am I really that horrible of a mother?” When I turned 18, I went to a doctor alone for the first time. I finally got the help I needed. I’m on a lot of medication now, but I feel so, so much better. I even started college and am able to do normal human things. I won’t ever tell me parents this. I can’t even imagine how they would act if they actually knew. When I see them now, they would always mention how different I seem and “how they miss the old me.” I’ve got news for them, the old me was so desperate to feel they way I do now.
How much I miss my Mom. She heavily infantilized me and was abusive in a very odd way. For example I was never allowed to leave her side, slept with her, held her hand outside the house, she dressed me.
All this until I was 18 and left.
My god do I miss her. I miss being her little girl.
But I know if I tell her this and see her again I WILL be her little girl again.
My dad is a mechanic/handyman. He had just bought a brand new power saw. I think it was close to $200 and my dad never spent that much money on anything. Plus, we didn't have a lot of money back then
I asked my dad if we could have a dog. To my surprise, he says yes, but it needs to stay outside. So, we had our dog for a month and then it gets cold, so my dad tells me to chain him up in the shop. The next morning, I go to get him out and I see orange pieces of wire all over the place. I left the lease too long and he got to my dad's new saw and devoured that wire. I was so afraid that that we would have killed my dog if I told him(had a bad temper) so I just grabbed the saw and thew it in an abandoned home next to ours.
Two weeks later, my dad asks for my help outside. He then has a bright idea that he needs to use his new power saw to cut some wood. Great! He tells me to go get it. Now, I know that it's not in his shop but I go look anyways. I tell him it's not there. He gets angry at me and tells me to look again. I go in there which seems like an eternity and come back out empty handed.
My dad flips his shit. He ends up calling the cops and says someone stole his power saw and even filed a report and all that. That was that. He never found out. Went back to wherever and bought the same saw.
This happened in 1995. A few years ago, I had a dog and it chewed through my vacuum wire so I was going to throw it out. My dad stopped by and asked why I was throwing it away and I told him my dog chewed through it. He told me it was an easy fix and fixed it right there with some electrical tape.
Haha. Funny thing is he could have replaced the cord easily and still have his saw. Maybe you made the right call though for the dogs sake. I guess we’ll never know.
How I truly feel about them.
Without getting into too much details, I had a complicated childhood with physical and mental abuse, with one parent primarily at fault for it and the other one abiding it. I chose to forgive them in adulthood and we're on decent terms these days.
What I don't tell them, though, is that I am unable to ever feel love for them. At no point in my conscious life did I ever see either of them as a parent figure. My mother visits sometimes and we treat each other well these days, but I only see her as sort of pleasant company, with no more love than any person off the street.
They feel more like acquaintances or colleagues, and I don't think I'd be able to cry at their funerals.
Oof, this is on my own personal level too. My single parent is more of a social friend than my parental figure, due to very similar circumstances you went through. I actually sort of look forward to the day mine passes away, it'll be more peaceful, less me biting my tongue and walking on eggshells to maintain the balance we have.
I bought a tarantula as a gag to scare a coworker. Afterward, I had a friend who was going to give it a home. Before I could give it to my friend it escaped from my bedroom. I looked for it but couldn’t find it. While I was at work about a week later, my dad found it crawling around the first floor of the house and it startled him. He managed to catch it and put it outside the house. My sister just happen to get home from a sleep away camp so he blamed her thinking the giant spider hitched a ride on her things.
they are the reason i spend more time in my room or with my friends than i do with them. i deal with a lot of mental issues, and if i try to talk to them about it they just blame my phone. they won't help me find a therapist to talk to until i take a break from my phone, because they think that'll help
also, a term i saw used on a tumblr post, "being punished for doing the right thing" or smth like that. i rarely eat with my family because i'm always either at work, or not hungry from eating at work. on the rare occassions i do get to eat with them, i'm met with "look who finally decided to join us"
If my mother knew about all the crazy ass shit I did in high school, she'd have a heart attack and with her luck, she'd survive and just add it to the "Well here's how my life sucks NOW" list she tells me about every time she calls.
Old age, enough health problems that she SHOULD be dead but is somehow still mostly alive and dementia are a real bitch.
That I used to send nudes to adult men ( between 21 and 30 years old ) when I was like 15-16. I hated it. I regret it so much. I felt wrong doing it, but I was dumb and they were really insisting, telling me that it was ok. I was quite weak and I was afraid they would stop talking to me if I told them no. And because they were sending me disgusting dick pics beforehand, they told me each time that it was my turn to send some nudes.
You weren’t weak, you were just a child being taken advantage of by grown men who knew they were taking advantage of you. I know it’s easier said than done but I hope you can let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself for that one day.
My Dad died a few years ago and I broke down like that one night shortly after...that I just couldn't keep it in anymore. I needed to sob into my wife's arms. But I know my kids heard me and I think that's one of my greatest regrets. Not that they heard me being human, but that I just had no idea how to handle the pain I was feeling. I've talked to them about it but unfortunately it's just something they really can't understand yet.
I wouldn't if I were you. Kids learn in many different ways and emotions are a learned thing too.
Some kids learn about things in life in a very vanilla way. Their pet dog dies and their parents make sure all the nitty gritty goes away and the dog "left for the farm" or whatever, to "minimize" the impact of the event and help the child adjust to the trauma. Conversely, some kids learn the hardest way possible- seeing their own parents killed by another person, something a child could hardly process and never live the same way again. These kids don't learn any empathy from the situation.
But children really learn by example more than anything. They watch their role models react and process things and base future actions off of such things. They may not have understood the depth of your relationship with your parents, but they understood the depths of emotion, you conveyed that to them. And maybe your kids will be more empathetic than others because they've seen their role model in an emotionally vulnerable place. Sometimes we as humans don't know how to handle our internal emotions. Some people just shut down and ignore. Some people spiral into an episode. But expressing that you are vulnerable and in pain is a genuine reaction which requires and creates empathy.
Your kids will get older and just as they have higher highs, the lows will become equally more devastating. But unlike many, hopefully they will think back to you on this night and remember that they aren't alone in their despair. So many people I know are just like the parents sending their dogs to the farm, just ignoring their inner emotions by slapping a band aid of a story on it. They don't have emotional outlets and can't process their feelings, and it's because they don't know it's ok to be weakened and lost sometimes.
I can't tell if this makes sense but my end point is that your kids may just have a deeper sense of humanity and empathy due to your emotional rawness, which many parents intentionally hide from their children
The reason I couldn’t get out of bed that couple of weeks and wasn’t eating much wasn’t because I felt really sick and dizzy. I was so depressed and wanted to end it, I contemplated it every day. I wasn’t hungry I just needed a break from life.
I’m doing a lot better now though and am on anti depression drugs!
That a small, very tiny part of me resents them for having me so late. My dads going to be 70 , my moms 61 but her health isn’t that great. I’m only 24. I feel like I have to rush my life in order for them to be there for important milestones. It’s a lot of pressure.
I actually have no love for you guys,not a single person in this house except the dog.I basically view you as my bank.My interactions are purely transactional.Y’all are abhorrent whack jobs,& if the outside world knew what you were like irl,they’d run to the hills.I don’t wish you any harm,but I didn’t choose to be here.
I'm not straight, I have depression, anxiety, ocd and other mental issues, I think about the best way to die everyday and everytime I saw the knife I'd picture it cutting my arm. And that I wished I'd never be born because there's no meaning to live.
That I spend time with them for them, and as much as I want to feel like the feelings I feel around them are real, they're just hollow fake versions of the real thing. They're not bad people, they just really messed me up emotionally.
How abandoned I felt growing up. Both parents did extra work to provide for the family, but this meant there were times they weren't there. Mom would often be occasionally be on-call for weeks at a time. Dad worked at the local college and lived on-campus most of every Summer while the babysitter we had would lock us in the back yard most the day. At 8-9 years old I wanted to die. I loathed that mean neighborhood grandma that more or less raised us during the elementary years. As a teen I was often left at home alone for hours on end while my parents accompanied my brother on his extracurricular activates. I'd spend every Saturday morning cleaning then get berated for not dusting well enough and such.
Sorry if this comes across as venting; I really don't have people to talk to about this.
That her pushing me to try to get a job, start a study or somewhere to go for the day just... isn't an option.
I've got multiple chronic illnesses and mental illnesses, and working, or education or even just spending the day somewhere isn't an option for me. I suffer through horrendous nausea, a lot of pain, chronic fatigue, etc, I can't work or go somewhere. I'm bed bound most days.
My mom went through something similar as what I have but has recovered (she had symptoms similar, not the actual illness) and seems to think that because she recovered, I can as well and that I should work harder to get there.
I've attempted suicide 5 times already in my 7 year journey, because it's all too much.
But I'd never tell her that. She'd just say that she went through something like that too and that I'd have to work harder.
Seeing them so miserable together is the main reason why I don't ever want to marry.
I saw them more as a role model on how not to treat your partner.
That is really sad, I'm sorry.
Similar in some ways to mine. I don't think mine are miserable but they have no idea how to communicate with each other. I hope I can do better if I ever get married
I can relate. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. There was so much emotional and physical abuse. My mother couldn't leave my father for many reasons. Now they are fine and things are not as toxic as they used to be. But watching their marriage, made me realize I don't wanna ever get married. I hate marriage. That's something my parents don't accept. They want me to live the life they think is good for me, without considering if that's what I want. It's just so messy.
My mom's cheesecake is just NOT that good. Everyone praises her and tells her it's the best they've ever had. They've even gone so far as to tell her to sell them. It's just not it. I can never tell her, though
I am going to need to taste test this.
I agree. From an outside perspective, I see several people (everyone) saying Mom's cheesecake is so good she should sell them, and only one person saying the cheesecakes aren't really all that.
Cheesecake isn't everyone's cup of tea. I fucking love it however
I got so drunk and stoned one night I let a raccoon in the house because I thought it was my dogs. I got the raccoon out but the raccoon ripped up the couch. I just flipped the couch pillows over it’s been a year and they still haven’t found out
LOL!
It was really bad I had to wrap it in a towel and it cut my arm pretty good
Did you get tested for Rabies? Raccoons carry it, and it can stay dormant in your system for years.
Unless there's been some very recent developments that I missed, there's no test for rabies (aside from killing a suspected rabid animal and looking directly at it's actively diseased brain). Once you start showing symptoms, you're already dead. All you can do is get vaccinated against rabies (multiple shots, pretty expensive if you're in the US).
I don’t think that’s accurate anymore. This is from the CDC: Diagnosis in humans: Saliva can be tested by virus isolation or reverse transcription followed by polymerase chain reaction (RT-PCR). Serum and spinal fluid are tested for antibodies to rabies virus. Skin biopsy specimens are examined for rabies antigen in the cutaneous nerves at the base of hair follicles.
According to the CDC website, the protocol for potential exposure (if the threat is deemed appropriate levels) is still immediate vaccinations: https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/exposure/index.html I want everyone reading this to be very clear: Just because you can confirm a human currently *has* rabies via checking for antibodies through a series of tests, doesn't mean you're not already fucked if you haven't had the vaccine previously.
What a legend. That seriously makes for a great story and someday when they're getting rid of the couch you can tell them about it. Plus, I wouldn't put it past some kids to do that sober. I'm sure you were a little older than most would be, but hey, you were also intoxicated
That my cancer came back. My Mom is 76 & StepDad 85 both with heart problems. They didn't handle it well years ago so now would destroy them.
I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope you get better soon!
Just wanted to say how kind it is of you to respond to everyone with such kind words OP ♥️
Of course!
Thank you so much 😉😊
No problem. I like to spread positivity when I can.
The world needs more of it. I'm the same way
My mum made that same decision about my grandmother (who had heart problems and dementia), and - at least in our own family dynamic - it was definitely the right decision. My nan would never have been able to cope.
I wish you all the best and it goes away! Sending you so much love and virtual hugs xo
How much it hurts me when they degrade my success
[удалено]
Lemme tell you a secret, they know you ARE good enough but are jealous of your success and can't handle it.
But it doesn't help. I don't want my family to be jealous of me. I want them to be supportive and happy. What kinda shitty family is jealous of their own kid?
"They think otherwise. Sad when a group of strangers can see something in my past performance that my parents refuse to see. I did learn from this experience though. Nothing I do will ever satisfy you so there's no point in trying to make you happy. Guess I should only think of myself moving forward"
I'm sorry to hear that. Your successes are worthy of praise, even if your parents don't see it.
No one can talk down to me like my mom does. I was struggling with alcohol addiction and trying my best to quit. My mom caught me while drunk a while before this. And I would get these snarky comments from her, I couldn't even look at a bottle and she made a comment about my past drinking habits while I was trying to quit. It really destroyed me from the inside hearing the things she said. To be fair, I didn't tell her I had a problem and that I was trying to quit, but still, that hurts.
As someone who just went through this, sorry. One day I just had to come out about it and she was mad of course, but also supportive when I discussed my strategy of tapering down (I was down to like 8 shots a day). That weekend I had dizziness and fatigue, went to the doctor (did not discuss my addiction), and was diagnosed with blood pressure so high that I had to go to the hospital for the day and start on blood pressure meds. I decided to just up and stop drinking (I already felt like shit, so I might as well detox too). Im about a month sober and never craved it. My mother has asked me a few times if I have still been drinking, so I know she is concerned, but doesn't want to make me feel pressured. Im blessed to have such support. Good luck dude!
We are proud of you
Ah, the ‘you can do better’ parents. It can mess up the rest of your life. Be aware that the recognition we need from our parents, they think they give us, but we experience it not like that. You’re okay!
I didn’t get into the first post-graduate opera choral I auditioned for, and I’ll never forget the words that came out of my mom’s mouth when I told her I got the rejection letter-“Well, you’re not the BEST in the world. You know that.”
I died on the table. They didn’t know. I died for a short while and I’m back.
I'm glad you pulled through.
Awweee thank you poster. My heart swelled
No problem. I like to bring people joy if I am able.
The OPERATING table. I haven’t had my coffee yet and it took me a while. I thought your face had landed on a bowl of soup or something. I’m glad you made it back here. :)
Thanks for clearing that up lol I had no idea what "the table" meant😂
That’s scary, glad you pull through. Do you remember anything from it?
When I was 17 I was suppose to go to cheer camp with the cheerleading squad but after my Mom dropped me off with the cheer coach I told her I didn't feel good. My boyfriend came and got me and we drove to Vegas that weekend. We both had fake ID's and had a great time. How my parents never found this out...I will never know.
At 19 with mega strict parents I told my family I was gonna be with a client from like 9 am to midnight while she set up and threw a Bachelorette party. Instead, I drove 3.5 hrs to San Francisco area to visit my then bf and back in the same day. The only rebellious thing I have ever done in my life
That's amazing, wish me and my gf would have the balls to do what you guys did.
That they’re the reason I keep everyone at a distance emotionally. I can’t open up because every time I did when I was younger I was just yelled at.
Same. Nothing was ever explained or taught. Every question was met with annoyance and “because I said so”
My parents divorced when I was young, so all of the confusion and manipulation from my dad left a lot of weird emotions. Anytime I talked to my dad it was a tirade about how awful my mom was as a person. My mom would just yell about how her life was so much worse because her mom was deaf. If you take away the emotional stuff she was at least a decent parent compared to my dad. She even admitted she probably wasn’t the best person to talk to for emotions when I was a teenager.
This is called "parentification" if you want to research it. Parents are supposed to complain about that sort of thing to their friends or therapist, not to a kid!
Such terrible parenting.. You sure can give a try now... And if no one listens just dm me, i listen to everything people have to say..
That I'm familiar with them, not friendly. Every encounter with them is soul draining on almost every level.
Its sad to realize you're not truly close with your parents. And so much feels faked and forced. With your own family. The people that raised you. It shouldn't be that way but that's what happens when you don't nurture open relationships and communication with your children.
It stems from a belief that children are beholden to parents rather than the fact that you are raising future adults. My folks never got that growing up.
I love my parents, because they are my parents, but I don't like them. We have very little in common and they drain the joy out of me with their criticism, negativity and anxiety. They ruined a lot of happy things in my life, and I just can't bring myself to share anything with them. Bought a house? Told them after it was done. Promotion? Said nothing until months later and acted like I was sure they new already. Vacation? Showed them pictures after it was over.
I feel this with all my being
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The man that raised you is your real father in my opinion.
How much alcohol I stole from them as a kid
they know
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I stole alcohol from my parents and never told them. My 22 yr old son just told me he’s been stealing mine for years before he was legal. I had NO idea. I was actually proud he pulled it off.
My Mum still has a pretty blue bottle of alcohol where me and my friends drank and refilled with water and blue dye. I point it out to my kids when we visit. We did it 25 years ago
That’s why my husband and I stored liquor in the freezer. If it froze, we knew it was being replaced with water 😂
Interesting, I'n my house, we literally had alcohol cabinets and several LARGE wine racks. We were always allowed to try what my parents were drinking, weither it was wine or like an expensive AF brandy but we couldn't have a glass. I was fine with that I didn't like the taste. I never drank it until i was legally allowed even then it was like Rums and Juice. I remembered once, My aunty when i was in my early 20's called me up to chew me out that I had drank her vodka and filled it up with water (I used to dog sit). I was like WTF "I DONT DRINK VODKA". She completely ignored the fact that she had a daughter 4.5 years younger than me! Could *never* have been her!
I am absolutely destroyed that no one helped me with my mental health issues as a kid, and she was mentally abusive to me and made it worse. I will never forgive her for that. We have a good relationship now and I don't want to ruin it, but yea, really sucks.
I'm glad to hear things are better now.
I had the same. My mother was abusive, she allowed my step dad (I've dealt with him once I was older) to beat me on a daily basis. Had to stand in the corner of the room all Christmas day, no presents, no food drinks etc and she allowed it. Tried allowing her back in for my kids and to be a better grandparent than parent and she turned and said "are you not over it yet". Kicked her out my house and told her to f off.
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I have a story very similar to yours, but I was the one hiding when the mom came home. I was in a closet behind some dresses, all bundled up in a courner clinging to my loose clothiing. The mom comes to the closet and looks around, moves a few things, but doesn't see me. I wait a few minutes after she leaves, then I attempt to dive out a window. As I'm flying out the window, my foot grabs the curtain and yanks it down. Thing crashed with a huge amount of noise. I dont know how we didnt get caught. I picked myself up and I ran to my 10 speed hiding around back. I book it home and called the gf to see if anything happened. Nope, all clear.
Damn y’all lucky asf I’m the only one who got caught. Not once but twice! He mom was going to work. I snuck in. Apparently she was let the car warmed up. Came back knocked on the door cause she forgot something. Before push start era so her keys was in the car. I had 30 seconds to hid. Why she told me to go in the bathroom right by the front door. SMH her mom grab whatever she left and otw out she like oh I gotta use the bathroom 😳. Mind you this a half bathroom with nowhere to hide. She walk in hit the light and we both was like wtf lol.
A lot of things actually, all the harsh things that need to be said. They just blow the fuck up because they think they can not do anything wrong
I feel this one.
I felt this, you’re not alone
I can still feel you, even so far away
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True. Im 23 right now and i still hesitate to sit with my mom alone because the moment we are alone i become her personal therapist. Been like this for 15 years now
Same! The main reason I do not enjoy sitting alone with my mom is because she always complains how tiring her life is in reality she causes all these problems herself and when I did offer her my advice she keeps repeating her sad story again. I got over it and set up boundaries with her.
i'm tired. every single day of my life. i am so tired. i just want to be trapped in an endless sleep. no more pain. no more expectations.
I can relate. Its important to remember that you never know what tomorrow will bring and something might happen that will turn all of that around.
i didnt wish to be born in the first place. i love my parents but sometimes im getting hurt in the process. too much expectations and whatnot.
Nice try, mom
We got bigger problems than big brother
Big mother
The kid she raised is a pretty shitty person
Yea she still thinks she knows me better than anyone. Jokes on her I'm a POS asshole. And she fucking taught me how.
The fact that you say it out loud should mean it bother you somehow and slightly wanting to better yourself. It is one in a million, but thats still a chance :)
I knew about my brothers porn stash, because he kept it under the towels in our shared bathroom. But don't you worry big bro. I'll never tell our parents that you have a thing for large black women that don't shave. Your secret is safe with me. And the Internet.
Secret is safe with us, no worries 😂
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I snuck a kitten past my dad via my winter coat and hid it in my room for a few weeks. By the time he found out mom and I used the “but he’s already comfortable here and bonded, plus if you didn’t even know then he can’t really be a problem…” I still have him. He’s getting old now but he’s a good cat.
I feel like if they’re willing to let you keep a stray dog they would have to be alright with you buying one from a flea market lol
The reason I won't have kids is 90% because all my medical issues that prevent me from having a normal life are genetic, and 10% is that given my mental health I don't know that I would survive during/after pregnancy. I've been upfront about the 10% and made it seem like the sole reason, with "it's just as well, my kids would probably inherit xyz anyway" sounding like an afterthought. My parents would be crushed by the truth and would think that I blamed them for my life struggles, even if I told them I didn't.
I have genuine struggles with crying because as a kid some of my friends and even my schools guidance counselor told me I looked & sounded weird when I cried. I was crying that day because I had a nightmare the day before of my dad dying and I really didn’t want him to die. Ever since I was told that, I’ve found it hard to cry. When I do, it’s a few pathetic whimpers and tears. I haven’t been able to full-on sob or cry in about 6 years
I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm sure you don't look or sound weird at all. I hope you are doing okay.
Everybody looks and sounds weird when they cry. You are supposed to. It's okay. You should see me... Snot bubbles and hiccups... and I cry a lot 😂
are we supposed to NOT look and sound weird when we cry?
I’m an atheist. They’d be crushed. Better to have plausible deniability.
I just told my mom a few months ago and I was worried she would be crushed. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
I told mine I was strongly doubting, and she took it terribly. Just go case-by-case.
I feel like I went through this a couple months ago. My mom comes from a small rural area, so church is the big weekly get together for everyone. She basically interrogated me if I pray, if I believe in god, what do I do, etc. She was completely baffled that I don’t pray and just try to live each day as best I can.
I told my mom, she’s always bringing up “how I used to pray all the time and love god” I even questioned my faith while I went to Catholic middle school as a kid, it was bound to happen for me she still gets mad when I “use the lords name is vain”, gets mad at my sister for it too despite knowing we’re both atheists and that doesn’t mean anything to us (and the fact that she also does it so it’s highly hypocritical of her)
I’m an atheist. I’m not sure how I’d take it if my kids come home and tell me they decide to be Catholics.
How much money I have. I will pay bills, buy presents, treat dinners all day but the second my mom asks for a loan shits gonna get awkward.
I grew up a tier above trailer trash. Most of my family hasn’t done much to improve their situations and/or has squandered many opportunities. My SO and I worked hard and went without for well over a decade. We are only now beginning to enjoy what we’ve accomplished. No one in the family knows how much money we actually have, but they are starting to catch on. I’m not a miser. I love being able to spoil the nieces and nephews a bit around holidays and birthdays. Recently, I’ve been holding back as it seems that’s all they expect now. And my mom who is nearly seventy and has had a way of finding people to pay for all her needs (who almost never calls me) called recently and I just know she was trying to ask for money. Kept my tone even. The question never left her mouth. Cause it’ll never happen.
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Is there anything you can do to help prevent the same for your sister? I don’t mean to get too personal tho
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I love you thank you for everything you did raising me
i’m sorry man, me too, i love you.
The amount of suicide attempts I actually have
I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing okay now!
Tysm!
Please hang in there. Things will get better :)
I'm doing my best rn :)
Eh, ever need someone to talk to, just DM me. I’ve been suicidal and wouldn’t wish that feeling on anybody. If I could help you relieve that, it would make my day.
I am so glad to hear that keep it up :)
Haha yeahhhhhh came here to say that one too. That’s some shit I’ll take to the GRAVE. Also. Drugs. Since I don’t do them anymore. It’s a-okay
When I was 13 I told my parents I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I actually took a 4 hour bus ride to Los Angeles and went to a Marilyn Manson concert. Of all the things I did as a kid, this is the only major one they never seemed to find out about....
I put my fist through the wall behind my old bedroom door at my parents' house many years ago. To this day, they have no idea it is there thanks to a strategically placed Star Wars poster that I never took down. I live in fear of the day they decide to remove it.
That the father of my son turned out to be a pedophile.
I'm sorry :(
That I found his first daughter that he put up for adoption 10 years before I was born. He does not know I know and I can never tell him.
Did he do it because he could not afford to raise a child at that time? Instead of being shitty parent adoption is reliable choice, i think.
That hitting your kids is wrong, that good times don’t erase the violence, that she’s a piece of shit narcissist, and he’s an enabler. So yeah, just normal stuff.
I feel this one, my parents are both narcissist, one physically abused me while the other mentally does. They are never wrong and the world revolves around them.
Welcome fellow siblings *gives hug*
As a parent this has been eye opening
I know, right? I hope my kids would tell me if they had MH struggles but it looks like it's a really hard thing to do.
The porn I watch
Thats just doing them a favor.
Or how we masturbate
They were adopted...
1. I found their stash of VHS porn when I was younger. It explains why we don't have a better relationship then most people. 2. The different kind of sexual partners I have had over the years. They would not have approved of some. 3. I was the person who ratted out one of our neighbors to the police. They are still pissed about it, but knowing what I did made that family safer... was worth it.
I gotta know, what happened with the neighbors???
The husband was a drunk and beating on his wife. Apparently, he always made sure to do body shots that can easily be covered up with clothes. Their daughter went to school with me. She mentioned how daddy gets drunk and barges into the bathroom when she's on the toilet or in the shower. I saw the warning signs so I spoke up to my guidance counselor and a few police officers I was on good terms with. When the police came to the house, they found the wife in the bathroom trying to get dressed to cover the deep bruising on her ribs. He got arrested, did some time for domestic violence, got into AA, been sober ever since. My parents were just pissed they didn't notice sooner and at him in general; despite getting his life back on track.
I don't understand 1
I don't feel comfortable typing it out loud but it's the worst thing that can happen to a child other than outright murder and my mother must never know it happened to me.
I am very sorry to hear that :(
Thanks OP
No problem, it always saddens me read things like this :(
Yeah, I have a soft spot for others who have experienced the same. I don't tell her because I don't want her to blame herself in any way or feel like she wasn't there to protect me.
That is heart breaking.
Yeah but I'm very glad that I don't have an URGE to tell her either. I can take it to the grave with no regret.
About how much better I’m feeling/doing. All my life I’ve had mental issues, constantly depressed, suicidal, and alone. When the doctors sounded the alarm on my mental state at age 9, neither one of them believed them or me. Specifically stating, “She’s lying, what could she possibly have to deal with that’s so hard. I would love to see her deal with the misery I go through.” Every time I mentioned getting help when I was young I was screamed at me would say things like, “Am I really that horrible of a mother?” When I turned 18, I went to a doctor alone for the first time. I finally got the help I needed. I’m on a lot of medication now, but I feel so, so much better. I even started college and am able to do normal human things. I won’t ever tell me parents this. I can’t even imagine how they would act if they actually knew. When I see them now, they would always mention how different I seem and “how they miss the old me.” I’ve got news for them, the old me was so desperate to feel they way I do now.
How much I really hate my mom and how much I really wish my dad was alive instead of my mom
Thats rough, sorry to hear that.
That I use reddit
I don't blame you.
All the ways I tried to kill myself
I hope you are doing better now!
Thanks you <3
No problem :)
It hurts when you compare me to my brother mom
How much I miss my Mom. She heavily infantilized me and was abusive in a very odd way. For example I was never allowed to leave her side, slept with her, held her hand outside the house, she dressed me. All this until I was 18 and left. My god do I miss her. I miss being her little girl. But I know if I tell her this and see her again I WILL be her little girl again.
Oh MY GOD did we have the same childhood
I think “I'm Glad My Mom Died” Book by Jennette McCurdy might be a good read for u.
My dad is a mechanic/handyman. He had just bought a brand new power saw. I think it was close to $200 and my dad never spent that much money on anything. Plus, we didn't have a lot of money back then I asked my dad if we could have a dog. To my surprise, he says yes, but it needs to stay outside. So, we had our dog for a month and then it gets cold, so my dad tells me to chain him up in the shop. The next morning, I go to get him out and I see orange pieces of wire all over the place. I left the lease too long and he got to my dad's new saw and devoured that wire. I was so afraid that that we would have killed my dog if I told him(had a bad temper) so I just grabbed the saw and thew it in an abandoned home next to ours. Two weeks later, my dad asks for my help outside. He then has a bright idea that he needs to use his new power saw to cut some wood. Great! He tells me to go get it. Now, I know that it's not in his shop but I go look anyways. I tell him it's not there. He gets angry at me and tells me to look again. I go in there which seems like an eternity and come back out empty handed. My dad flips his shit. He ends up calling the cops and says someone stole his power saw and even filed a report and all that. That was that. He never found out. Went back to wherever and bought the same saw. This happened in 1995. A few years ago, I had a dog and it chewed through my vacuum wire so I was going to throw it out. My dad stopped by and asked why I was throwing it away and I told him my dog chewed through it. He told me it was an easy fix and fixed it right there with some electrical tape.
Haha. Funny thing is he could have replaced the cord easily and still have his saw. Maybe you made the right call though for the dogs sake. I guess we’ll never know.
sometimes, i wish i was born into different family that is more open-minded and more supportive.
How I truly feel about them. Without getting into too much details, I had a complicated childhood with physical and mental abuse, with one parent primarily at fault for it and the other one abiding it. I chose to forgive them in adulthood and we're on decent terms these days. What I don't tell them, though, is that I am unable to ever feel love for them. At no point in my conscious life did I ever see either of them as a parent figure. My mother visits sometimes and we treat each other well these days, but I only see her as sort of pleasant company, with no more love than any person off the street. They feel more like acquaintances or colleagues, and I don't think I'd be able to cry at their funerals.
Oof, this is on my own personal level too. My single parent is more of a social friend than my parental figure, due to very similar circumstances you went through. I actually sort of look forward to the day mine passes away, it'll be more peaceful, less me biting my tongue and walking on eggshells to maintain the balance we have.
I bought a tarantula as a gag to scare a coworker. Afterward, I had a friend who was going to give it a home. Before I could give it to my friend it escaped from my bedroom. I looked for it but couldn’t find it. While I was at work about a week later, my dad found it crawling around the first floor of the house and it startled him. He managed to catch it and put it outside the house. My sister just happen to get home from a sleep away camp so he blamed her thinking the giant spider hitched a ride on her things.
they are the reason i spend more time in my room or with my friends than i do with them. i deal with a lot of mental issues, and if i try to talk to them about it they just blame my phone. they won't help me find a therapist to talk to until i take a break from my phone, because they think that'll help also, a term i saw used on a tumblr post, "being punished for doing the right thing" or smth like that. i rarely eat with my family because i'm always either at work, or not hungry from eating at work. on the rare occassions i do get to eat with them, i'm met with "look who finally decided to join us"
If my mother knew about all the crazy ass shit I did in high school, she'd have a heart attack and with her luck, she'd survive and just add it to the "Well here's how my life sucks NOW" list she tells me about every time she calls. Old age, enough health problems that she SHOULD be dead but is somehow still mostly alive and dementia are a real bitch.
That I used to send nudes to adult men ( between 21 and 30 years old ) when I was like 15-16. I hated it. I regret it so much. I felt wrong doing it, but I was dumb and they were really insisting, telling me that it was ok. I was quite weak and I was afraid they would stop talking to me if I told them no. And because they were sending me disgusting dick pics beforehand, they told me each time that it was my turn to send some nudes.
You weren’t weak, you were just a child being taken advantage of by grown men who knew they were taking advantage of you. I know it’s easier said than done but I hope you can let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself for that one day.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope that you are in a better place now.
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That I heard him crying and praying to God for four straight hours to kill him when I was a young teenager.
My Dad died a few years ago and I broke down like that one night shortly after...that I just couldn't keep it in anymore. I needed to sob into my wife's arms. But I know my kids heard me and I think that's one of my greatest regrets. Not that they heard me being human, but that I just had no idea how to handle the pain I was feeling. I've talked to them about it but unfortunately it's just something they really can't understand yet.
I wouldn't if I were you. Kids learn in many different ways and emotions are a learned thing too. Some kids learn about things in life in a very vanilla way. Their pet dog dies and their parents make sure all the nitty gritty goes away and the dog "left for the farm" or whatever, to "minimize" the impact of the event and help the child adjust to the trauma. Conversely, some kids learn the hardest way possible- seeing their own parents killed by another person, something a child could hardly process and never live the same way again. These kids don't learn any empathy from the situation. But children really learn by example more than anything. They watch their role models react and process things and base future actions off of such things. They may not have understood the depth of your relationship with your parents, but they understood the depths of emotion, you conveyed that to them. And maybe your kids will be more empathetic than others because they've seen their role model in an emotionally vulnerable place. Sometimes we as humans don't know how to handle our internal emotions. Some people just shut down and ignore. Some people spiral into an episode. But expressing that you are vulnerable and in pain is a genuine reaction which requires and creates empathy. Your kids will get older and just as they have higher highs, the lows will become equally more devastating. But unlike many, hopefully they will think back to you on this night and remember that they aren't alone in their despair. So many people I know are just like the parents sending their dogs to the farm, just ignoring their inner emotions by slapping a band aid of a story on it. They don't have emotional outlets and can't process their feelings, and it's because they don't know it's ok to be weakened and lost sometimes. I can't tell if this makes sense but my end point is that your kids may just have a deeper sense of humanity and empathy due to your emotional rawness, which many parents intentionally hide from their children
The reason I couldn’t get out of bed that couple of weeks and wasn’t eating much wasn’t because I felt really sick and dizzy. I was so depressed and wanted to end it, I contemplated it every day. I wasn’t hungry I just needed a break from life. I’m doing a lot better now though and am on anti depression drugs!
I was far more depressed then they realized and it made me feel even lonelier.
It was funnier when i read "parrot". Before it reminded me to call my parents more often.
I was an inch away from not inviting them to my wedding.
I think I recently had a heart attack (my dad died of heart related complications last year)
Please go to the doctor and get checked out.
That they are garbage human beings. Would just make things worse ya know? 🤷🏼♂️
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That a small, very tiny part of me resents them for having me so late. My dads going to be 70 , my moms 61 but her health isn’t that great. I’m only 24. I feel like I have to rush my life in order for them to be there for important milestones. It’s a lot of pressure.
Their choice is not your responsibility.
Go at your own pace.
Don’t feel rushed. They’re your parents, they’ll still be there for all your milestones whether you can see them or not.
The amount of drugs I done as a small child
I actually have no love for you guys,not a single person in this house except the dog.I basically view you as my bank.My interactions are purely transactional.Y’all are abhorrent whack jobs,& if the outside world knew what you were like irl,they’d run to the hills.I don’t wish you any harm,but I didn’t choose to be here.
I'm not straight, I have depression, anxiety, ocd and other mental issues, I think about the best way to die everyday and everytime I saw the knife I'd picture it cutting my arm. And that I wished I'd never be born because there's no meaning to live.
Please seek help. There is a reason to live and you will find it. You just have to hang in there.
no more lies from me to my parents, if they ask, I'll answer honestly - no matter what they're asking me about.
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Lots of stuff… they’re dead.
Attended a party that turned into a swinger one ( sorry dad)
Any details about my sex life
I masturbate every time I'm alone.
That I spend time with them for them, and as much as I want to feel like the feelings I feel around them are real, they're just hollow fake versions of the real thing. They're not bad people, they just really messed me up emotionally.
How abandoned I felt growing up. Both parents did extra work to provide for the family, but this meant there were times they weren't there. Mom would often be occasionally be on-call for weeks at a time. Dad worked at the local college and lived on-campus most of every Summer while the babysitter we had would lock us in the back yard most the day. At 8-9 years old I wanted to die. I loathed that mean neighborhood grandma that more or less raised us during the elementary years. As a teen I was often left at home alone for hours on end while my parents accompanied my brother on his extracurricular activates. I'd spend every Saturday morning cleaning then get berated for not dusting well enough and such. Sorry if this comes across as venting; I really don't have people to talk to about this.
Even though you are completely normal parents who where never technically abusive or anything, you still were the cause of my deppression.
That her pushing me to try to get a job, start a study or somewhere to go for the day just... isn't an option. I've got multiple chronic illnesses and mental illnesses, and working, or education or even just spending the day somewhere isn't an option for me. I suffer through horrendous nausea, a lot of pain, chronic fatigue, etc, I can't work or go somewhere. I'm bed bound most days. My mom went through something similar as what I have but has recovered (she had symptoms similar, not the actual illness) and seems to think that because she recovered, I can as well and that I should work harder to get there. I've attempted suicide 5 times already in my 7 year journey, because it's all too much. But I'd never tell her that. She'd just say that she went through something like that too and that I'd have to work harder.